


Memories - Romanogers Fanfic

by Daredevilosa



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Romanogers - Fandom, Stevenat - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, romanogers - Freeform, stevenat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2018-10-09 15:44:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 64
Words: 214,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10415496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daredevilosa/pseuds/Daredevilosa
Summary: Natasha Romanoff and Steve Rogers are married and have two children: Sarah and James. They lived happily, until a serious accident changed the life of their family.Now, Steve waits anxiously and patiently for his wife to wake up from a coma. One year later, she wakes up, but she doesn’t remember Steve or her children.





	1. The Coma

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Memories - Romanogers Fanfic](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/278895) by Daredevilosa. 



> This is the translation of my history Memories. English is not my first language, so be patient. Hope you enjoy it!

It was another normal day in the life of Steve Rogers, former Captain America. At least that's what he thought it would be. A normal day.

Every day he wakes up early, leaves the children at school, go to work, pick the kids and go to the hospital to visit Natasha. Steve pray everyday for her to wake up from the coma. She has been this way for one year, since the tragic accident that put her in a coma.

Steve was on his way to the school to pick up the kids again. Steve received a call that would change the routine of his days. It was from the hospital.

**_\- Mr. Rogers?_ **

**_S: It’s me. What happened? Is it Natasha? What happened to her?_ **

**_\- Relax, sir. Rogers. She's fine, we're calling to tell you that she woke up._ **

Steve parked in front of the school and he had to lean against the seat, hearing this news. He has waited so long for this to happen. He couldn’t even believe what he was hearing, part of him had given up, the doctors thought she wasn’t going to wake up any longer. He remained positive by his children.

**_\- Mr. Rogers? Are you on the line? Are you there, Mr. Rogers?_ **

**_S: Yes...  Yes, I am. Thank you. I'll get my kids and I'll go as fast as I can. Thank you._ **

Steve hung up the phone and sighed.

Steve looked to the entrance of the school and James was already there waiting for him. Steve honked and James came running.

James was six years old now.

**J: Dad!**

**S: Hi champ, come on in. Let's get Sarah in the other entrance.**

James got in the car and took his backpack off, while Steve drove a few yards to reach the nursery door. It was the same school as James, but because it’s a day care center, the entrance is separate. Steve got out of the car and went to the entrance waiting for Sarah to leave.

There were several mothers at the nursery door, waiting for their children. The mothers are always flirting with Steve, and they admire him because he is always the one who come bring and take Sarah. So a man like this, and handsome like that, is the dream of those mothers. Steve is always embarrassed, with the looks they give to him.

**\- Steve, this weekend, we're having a little party for Johnny. I want you to come. And bring Sarah and James, of course.**

**S: Thank you, but their mother just wake from the coma today. I think she won’t be attending to any party yet.**

The woman couldn’t even disguise the disappointment she felt with the news.

**\- Really? Wow, that's… Good. The kids will be happy.**

**S: Yeah, sorry for not being able to go. We go on the next.**

**\- Of course.**

Steve is naive and doesn’t notice when they are flirting with him.

The bell of the nursery rang and the teachers brought the children in rows.

Steve was watching the 3-year-old Sarah in line. She is so little, so young, he hates to leave her in a nursery, but he needs to work, since he refuses the money the government insists on paying him for services that he made for the world.

In addition, in the nursery, Sarah would have contact with female teachers and ease the lack of a mother in her life. Well, at least, that's what he thought.

Sarah's class left. She smiled at the sight of her father and ran to him, but eventually fell in the middle of the path. Steve went to her, she was about to start crying.

**S: But look, what is this? What a beautiful drawing, Sarah.**

**Sarah: Is for you, daddy.**

**S: It's wonderful. I loved! Come on, James is waiting for us and I have a surprise for you.**

**Sarah: Present!!!**

Steve got Sarah in his lap and walked with her to the car, he put her in the car seat.

Sarah looked at James.

**Sarah: Jamie. Look.**

Sarah showed her drawing for James.

**J: What's that?**

**Sarah: Me, you and Daddy.**

**J: That’s so ugly.**

Sarah broke the smile and frowned. Steve got into the car and started it, driving to the hospital.

**Sarah: Daddy, Jamie said it’s ugly.**

**S: It's not ugly, it's beautiful.**

**J: It doesn’t even look like us.**

**S: She's young, James.**

**Sarah: Let's go on Mommy?**

**J: We go every day and you always ask if we go!**

**S: Yes, we will and I have a surprise. The doctor called, she you’re your Mom woke up.**

**J: What? Really?**

**Sarah: Mommy?**

**S: Yes.**

Steve parked the car in the hospital. He took Sarah out of the chair. James jumped out of the car.

**Sarah: The drawing! I want to show mommy!**

Steve opened the car door and took the drawing.

**S: Come on.**

**J: Come on, come on.**

Steve was holding onto James's hand, who was pulling him in a hurry to see his mother. Sarah was on Steve’s lap.

They arrived at the door of Natasha's room and she was finishing a meal. Hill was in the room with her and Natasha was talking normally, she was fine, nor even seem to have gotten out of a coma.

Hill looked at the door and saw Steve with the children. She smiled at him and then looked at Natasha.

**H: Look who's here to see you.**

Natasha glanced at the door to find out who Hill was talking about. She looked at Steve and at the two children who were with him. Steve felt like his heart would come out through his mouth.

James released his father's hand and ran to the bed.

**J: MOTHER! MOM!**

James hugged Natasha tight, Natasha looked at James with a frown, and she didn’t even touch him. In fact, Natasha was getting very nervous. Hill noticed something was wrong with Natasha's reaction.

**N: Why are you calling me mother?**

****

James lifted his face to look at Natasha and he frowned, knowing that that look wasn’t his mother's.

**N: Why are they here? Who are they???**

Natasha asked, trying to figure out if it was some joke by Hill.

Natasha glanced over at Hill, and her heartbeat began to accelerate. The medical team was called by the devices attached to Natasha's body that control her vital signs.

Natasha fainted, and Hill took the children out of the room.

**S: What was that? Why did she react like this?**

**H: I don’t know, she was fine before you arrived. Maybe it's a coma effect.**

**S: She looked at me like she didn’t know me. She didn’t recognize James.**

**H: I noticed that, but calm down, let's wait for the doctor.**

After half an hour, the doctor left Natasha's room.

**\- She's fine, she's just sleeping now. This is normal, a lot of emotion for one day.**

**S: Doctor, she didn’t recognize her son and seems not to have recognized me either.**

**\- Mr. Rogers, she left the coma today. We are still examining her, we don’t know what kind of trauma the accident has caused in her brain.**

**S: But will she remember?**

**\- That’s an answer I can’t give to you yet, Mr. Rogers. Let's hope for the best.**


	2. Back at Home

The doctor asked Steve Rogers to come back to the hospital in two days because they needed to do some tests on Natasha and he couldn’t be present, since she doesn’t remember him.

After two days, it was Natasha's hospital discharge day and Maria Hill was there with her for support. The psychiatrist explained to Natasha about the memory failure she's having.

**N: So I remember everything until certain year and the rest not?**

**\- That’s right.**

**N: But I feel good, I don’t feel forgetful.**

**H: You didn’t recognize your husband.**

Natasha can’t help but laughing every time Hill mentions about her "husband."

**N: Okay, Hill, this is some kind of joke, right? You have overcome yourself this time. Like using a real hospital to convince me... Brilliant.**

Natasha smirked and clapped for Maria Hill.

**\- Natasha, I know it's hard to understand what's happening now, but it's true. You’re married.**

The doctor took some pictures of Natasha pregnant and showed to her. Natasha soon thought it was Photoshop.

**N: All right, getting married… Maybe I would, but kids? I would never have children. I made an abortion a few months ago when I got pregnant of Clint.**

**H: Natasha, months ago? You and Clint haven’t been together in a long time.**

**N: I know, he broke up with me after that. But you see... I have made an abortion because I hate children, it’s impossible for me to have two!**

**\- But you have.**

Natasha looked at Hill, expecting her to laugh or smile, any gesture that denoted a lie and she didn’t find any trace of that.

**N: You say I'm married to Steve Rogers? So Captain America is my husband?**

Hill nodded.

**N: Hill, I studied history, he's been frozen for 70 years in the ocean, I know SHIELD had some research to find his body location, but...**

**H: Natasha, he was found and thawed.**

**N: And he survived?**

**H: Incredible, but yes. You even helped him as soon as he got back to work. Then you started having missions together.**

**N: You mean I'm married to a 100-year-old man?**

**H: Yes, but you saw him, he doesn’t look like that.**

**N: Not really. Well, at least I can say I had good taste.**

**H: Yeah, he's hot and he's coming to pick you up today.**

**N: What? I'm staying at SHIELD.**

**H: No, you’re going to your home.**

**\- It’s very important that you are close to the people you have always lived with.**

**N: That’s SHIELD.**

**\- No, Natasha, it's to stimulate your memory.**

N: What are the chances of my memory coming back?

**\- 35%.**

**N: What?**

**H: That's just it?**

**\- Yeah, there was a lot of damage to her head. But at least she doesn’t risk losing any more memory.**

**N: Oh great, fireworks.**

Natasha said, ironically.

They were silent when there was a knock on the door.

**H: Steve. Come in.**

Natasha looked at him, Steve wanted very much to hug her, but he knows how strange it would be for Natasha, since she doesn’t remember him.

**S: Are you okay? I came to take you home.**

Natasha didn’t say anything, she got up, took her suitcase, which Steve tried to be kind enough to carry, but she didn’t let him.

Natasha went to the hallway and folded her arms, looking impatient.

**H: Steve, have patience, all right?**

**S: Yep. 35% of patience.**

**H: So you already know?**

**\- I told him.**

The doctor said.

**H: If you need help, just call me.**

Natasha and Steve left the hospital and got into the car.

Natasha put her foot on the dash and looked out of the car. Steve looked at her foot and cleared his throat. Natasha listened, but decided to ignore him.

**N: Steve, right?**

**S: Yes.**

**N: What are the children's names?**

**S: James and Sarah.**

**N: What about their age?**

**S: James is 6 years old and Sarah 3 years old.**

**N: Uhm... I will not change any diapers.**

**S: They don’t use it anymore. Sarah uses the potty.**

**N: And they eat alone?**

**S: James yes, but Sarah has to force, otherwise she won’t eat.**

**N: God...**

**S: Don’t worry about it now, I'll take care of it.**

Natasha continued to stare out the car window.

**N: How did this happen?**

**S: Your accident?**

**N: No, the children.**

**S: Well, James we didn’t mean to, it just happened. Sarah, it was because I insisted a lot.**

**N: Oh yeah? How are they?**

**S: They're great, they miss their Mother a lot.**

Steve parked the car in front of the building they live in. He left and he thought that Natasha was coming too, but she stayed inside the car.

**S: Are you coming?**

Natasha finally looked at him.

**N: I don’t think I'm ready.**

Steve approached the car.

**S: That's exactly what you said to me when we discovered James's pregnancy and it was okay. It's going to be okay, don’t worry.**

Natasha wanted to go to SHIELD. Dealing with an unknown husband is ok, but unknown children that are going to call her mother? Natasha was terrified, but she felt confident in Steve's words and those eyes seemed honest.

As soon as Natasha entered the apartment, she encountered Sam Wilson on the floor, serving as a horse for James, but Natasha didn’t know who he was.

**J: Mom!**

James jumped to the floor and ran to Natasha and hugged her. Natasha didn’t know how to act, she didn’t want to be rude, but she couldn’t help being cold. She touched his arms and gave him a half smile.

**S: James, remember what we talked about?**

James nodded and released Natasha. He stared at her.

Natasha approached the stroller where Sarah was in and she was asleep.

**N: Isn’t she too big for a stroller?**

**S: Yes, but it's the stroller or the lap, so...**

**N: Who is this?**

**S: Natasha this is Sam. He works with us, he is one of my best friends.**

**Sam: I’m his best friend.**

Sam held out his hand to Natasha and she greeted him.

**Sam: Nice to meet you... Again. I have to go, Steve.**

**S: Thank you for having stayed with them.**

**Sam: No problem. Bye, buddy.**

Sam left the apartment.

Natasha stood in the middle of the room, holding her bag, waiting for Steve to tell her where to stay.

**S: Why don’t you leave that in our bedroom?**

**N: And where is it?**

**S: Oh sorry... Come on.**

Steve went ahead, leading the way. He entered the room, Natasha entered right behind him and looked at the room, it was huge, it had a closet, a bathroom, a table, two armchairs and a huge double bed.

Natasha stared at the bed, and she was still. Steve noticed, he approached her and took the bag from her hand.

Natasha looked at him, Steve looked back at her.

**S: Alright, I'm going to sleep on the couch.**

**N: No... It's your house, you don’t have to.**

**S: It’s our house. And the decision is already made. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, I don’t want to force anything on you, Natasha.**

**N: Thank you.**

**S: I go with the kids on the market, there's nothing here to eat. Why don’t take the chance to rest a little?**

Natasha nodded. Steve left the apartment with the kids, Natasha took a shower and lay down to sleep.

Natasha woke up with Steve's knock on the door.

**S: Natasha?**

**N: What?**

**S: Can I come in?**

Natasha has the habit of sleeping naked, she lifted the duvet and noticed that she was naked. She rubbed her eyes and hair.

**N: Just a minute.**

**S: It’s just to tell you that the dinner is ready.**

Natasha didn’t want to eat, she’s not hungry and she is not in the mood to socialize at the moment, but she knows she has to work hard to try to remember.

**N: I'm coming.**

**S: We are waiting for you.**

Natasha took a quick shower, she went to look for clothes in the suitcase, but then she decided to open the closet.

Well, her taste for clothes hasn’t changed, from casual to sensual... _Good._ Natasha thought.

Natasha grabbed a pair of jeans and a black tank top. She brushed her hair and left the room.

Natasha stopped in the hallway and looked at Steve and the kids at the table playing with each other. It was the perfect family portrait. And that makes her want to vomit. She was going to return from there to the room, but Sarah saw her.

**Sarah: Mama!**

Steve and James looked at her. Natasha gave a half smile and sat down at the table. James and Sarah kept looking at her. Even Steve didn’t stop looking at her. It was amazing having her back after so long.

**N: That seems great.**

Natasha stared at the food.

**N: Is this Pelmeni?**

**S: Yes. Your favorite.**

**N: How do you know?**

**S: We're married.**

**N: Oh sorry.**

Natasha and Steve smiled.

**S: It's Sarah's favorite food too.**

Steve was carrying a spoonful of food in Sarah's mouth, but she closed her mouth and started to turn her face to the sides.

**S: Sarah!**

**Sarah: No, no.**

Natasha looked at James and he seemed to want to talk to her, but he was still embarrassed by their earlier meeting.

**N: What about your favorite food?**

**J: Pizza.**

**N: Oh pizza is very good, isn’t it?**

James smiled and nodded. Steve was still struggling to make Sarah eat.

**Sarah: I want Mommy.**

**S: Sarah, you have to eat.**

**Sarah: Mama, mama.**

**N: Alright, Steve.** **I can do this.**

Steve passed Sarah's plate.

Natasha took the spoon and moved to Sarah's mouth, but she still kept her mouth shut.

**Sarah: The plane.**

**N: What?**

**S: Airplane... You have to pretend the spoon is an airplane.**

Natasha looked at Steve, frowning and thought it was absurd the idea.

**N: You have two options, Sarah. Either you open your mouth and eat with me, or you keep your mouth shut and not eat. It’s not me who will be hungry.**

Sarah and James stared at Natasha, startled.

Steve put his hand on Natasha's wrist and she collected her hand in reflex. Steve felt his heart pierced. It was just a touch on the hand.

**N: Look, I'm sorry. I can’t do this. I can’t.**

**Sarah: I'm going to eat, mama.**

Natasha was shaking a little, she closed her eyes, sighed, and looked at Steve. Something in his gaze made her calm down and try again. She picked up another spoonful and gave it to Sarah, who ate it this time.

After feeding Sarah, Natasha dined with Steve, who waited for her to start eating. The two were talking about SHIELD and the Avengers, that Natasha didn’t remember that there was this group of heroes fighting together to save Earth.

Natasha looked at Sarah and she was sleeping in the dining chair. James was watching TV.

**S: James, time for bed.**

Steve got up and picked Sarah up.

**J: Are you coming, Mom?**

Natasha looked at James, her eyebrows arched.

**S: It's just to put them in bed and say good night.**

**N: Oh yes.**

Natasha followed them into the bedroom. Sarah had her own bedroom and James his own too. Steve put Sarah in hers first and didn’t need good night, because she was already asleep. Then they went to James's room.

James jumped on the bed and ducked under the blanket.

**J: I'm glad you came back, Mom.**

Natasha gave James a small smile.

**N: Good night, James.**

**S: Good night, champ.**

James turned aside and closed his eyes. Steve and Natasha left, and Steve closed the door to James's room.

Natasha was distracted and wanted to walk for the bedroom and she forgot that Steve was on the way. The two stumbled in front of each other, inadvertently.

To ease the clash between their bodies, Steve held Natasha's waist and she rested her hands on his chest.

As Natasha's tank top left a little of her belly exposed, Steve could feel a piece of Natasha's skin and this was very comforting, because until now they hadn’t had more contact.

It was enough to make Steve's body shivered.

Steve looked into her eyes, and Natasha couldn’t help but stare back. Steve doesn’t know how long he hasn’t seen the green of those eyes that close, and Steve doesn’t know how long he'll have to wait without kissing Natasha's red lips.

**N: Sorry.**

**S: No, I was in the way.**

**N: I... I am going to the bedroom...**

Steve released her, though his brain screamed, "Stay with me tonight, please."

Natasha walked past him and entered the bedroom as Steve looked down the hall at her.

Natasha turned to close the door and watched Steve's gaze. _What kind of look is that? Does he want me to adopt him? Because with such a look, he's about to get it_. Natasha thought as she closed the door.

**N: Good night.**

**S: Night.**

****


	3. Back at Work

The next day, Natasha woke up feeling much better and very willing to have a good day. She was looking forward to a new mission, to work. It's not her to style be at home resting.

Natasha got up, took a shower, and looked at the clock as she dried her hair. It was still 6:00 in the morning. She brushed her teeth and dressed.

Natasha left the bedroom, and tried not to make a sound to not wake the children. She arrived in the living room and Steve was sleeping on the couch. He's a very big man for a couch. Natasha watched him and concluded that he's a really handsome man.

Steve was shirtless and he was sleeping only with a sheet covering him from the waist down. Natasha looked at the packs on Steve's abdomen and bit her lip. _Yeah, I'd marry that abdomen._ Natasha thought.

Natasha realized there was someone talking in the apartment, but she didn’t know who. By the kind of voice, she assumed it was Sarah. She went back into the hallway and pressed her ear to the door. Sarah was mumbling something and seemed to be crying.

Natasha opened the door.

**N: Sarah?**

Sarah was in bed, sleeping and fidgeting non-stop. She was almost crying and strengthened to wake up. Natasha approached the bed, crouched next to her, and laid her hand on Sarah's forehead.

**N: Sarah... Wake up.**

Sarah's eyes narrowed and she was so caught up in the dream that she was sweating. She sighed and opened her eyes slowly and stared at Natasha.

**N: Hi... Did you have a nightmare?**

Sarah nodded and her eyes were filled with tears. Natasha started to panic, how would she calm her down?

**N: Look, I have nightmares too.**

**Sarah: Do you?**

**N: Yes.**

**Sarah: I'm afraid.**

**N: I don’t feel afraid because I remember it’s only a dream and dreams can not hurt us. It’s not real.**

**Sarah: I was dreaming with you.**

**N: With me?**

Natasha was surprised. Sarah nodded.

**Sarah: You were leaving again. I don’t want you to leave.**

Sarah let a tear trickle down. Natasha wiped her face.

**N: Hey… I'm not going anywhere.**

**Sarah: Promise?**

Natasha nodded. Sarah reached out, asking for Natasha's lap. Natasha got up and looked around.

**N: I'll get your stroller.**

Natasha went to the door and stopped. She looked again at Sarah, she is so small and so sweet. It was not that hard to give her a lap. It wouldn’t hurt. Natasha came back to her and took her in her lap. Sarah hugged her and laid her head on Natasha's shoulder. Natasha didn’t know what she felt at that time, she laid her hand on Sarah's back, and that was an incredible and indescribable sensation.

Natasha left the bedroom with Sarah in her lap and led her into the kitchen.

The kitchen is connected with the living room, only a counter separated the environments. Natasha set Sarah on the counter and motioned for her to be silent and pointed at Steve.

Sarah understood and was quiet.

**N: What do you want to eat?**

**Sarah: Doritos.**

**N: At breakfast?**

James woke up and went into the hallway and he saw Sarah with Natasha in the kitchen. Natasha didn’t see him, she was looking for things to make breakfast. She was startled when she felt James grab her legs, she even put her hand on the knife for reflection.

**N: Ja-James... You scared me. Good Morning.**

**J: I'm sorry.**

**N: No, it's okay. Do you know what Sarah eats in the morning?**

**Sarah: Doritos!**

****

Sarah smiled at James, who smiled back at Sarah and winked.

**J: Yeah. Doritos, we eat that every day.**

Natasha frowned, but he's bigger than Sarah, so he must be telling the truth. Natasha took a package of Doritos, opened it and set it on the counter. She also put James sitting on the counter, and they both began to devour the Doritos.

After a few minutes Steve woke up, too and he was surprised to see Natasha with the children in the kitchen. Steve got up and Natasha looked at him.

**S: Good morning.**

****

**N: Good morning.**

Natasha couldn’t help staring at Steve's body. Steve noticed.

The silence was broken by the children.

**J: Good morning, Dad!**

**S: Good morni...**

Steve glanced at Sarah and James, completely smeared with Doritos.

**S: Why are you eating this in the morning?**

**Sarah: Mama gave to us!**

**J: She gave it!**

**N: W-well, I gave to you  because you said that this was your breakfast! You little rascals!**

**S: How naughty, James and Sarah! Shame on you, I’m not buying Doritos anymore! Now go to take a shower and get ready for school.**

James jumped off the counter, and Natasha helped Sarah to go to the floor. They both ran to their room.

Steve approached the counter.

**N: So... Sir, what do you want to eat?**

****

Natasha said playfully.

**S: You cooking?**

**N: Didn’t I use to cook?**

**S: No.**

**N: So I was just pretending to not know how to cook.**

**S: I know, but that's okay. I like to do things for you.**

Natasha smirked a little. She doesn’t do the type that likes the man to do everything for her and Steve knows, but she was different with him.

**S: I'm not hungry. In fact, I need to get dressed and leave the kids in school.**

**N: And, do we have any work?**

**S: You need to rest.**

**N: I've rested enough.**

**S: Alright, you come with me, otherwise you'll end up giving your own way to have a mission.**

Steve went to the bedroom, showered, and hurried Sarah and James to get ready.

**Sarah: My shu. My shu!**

**S: James, pick up your books and put them in the backpack.**

Natasha watched the scene. James running from side to side. Sarah with her doll shoes in her hand, wanting attention and Steve lost without knowing which of the two to settle first.

Natasha went to Sarah.

**N: How about I help you with your “shu”?**

**Sarah: No, just Dad.**

**N: Oh yeah? Just dad?**

**S: She has these things, don’t feel bad. Like the food, only you could give it to her.**

**N: Alright. You need me to help with anything?**

**S: Just check if James put the book of arts and sciences in his backpack.**

Natasha had to grab James by the backpack when he ran by her, because he was electric, running from side to side. She grabbed his backpack and saw that it didn’t have any of the books Steve said.

**N: There's only one book here and it’s math.**

**S: James! I already asked to you…**

**J: Dad, wait, I forgot.**

James ran into his bedroom and picked up the right books. He handed it to Natasha who put it in the backpack.

Steve stood with Sarah in his lap.

**S: Come on.**

Natasha took the car keys and threw it to Steve. Steve grabbed the key in the air and looked at Natasha a little surprised. Natasha didn’t understand his reaction. She didn’t do anything extraordinary.

She really didn’t, but Natasha doesn’t remember that this was what she and Steve did every morning, get the children ready, and when they were about to leave home, she threw the keys at him.

**N: What?**

**S: Nothing...**

Steve and Natasha arrived at school. First they would leave Sarah at the nursery entry.

**N: Do I need to get out of the car?**

**S: No, I can take her there.**

**Sarah: Come with me, Mama.**

**N: Okay, I'll go along.**

Natasha got out of the car, James grabbed her hand and went down as well. As they walked toward the entrance, all the other mothers looked at Natasha with curiosity, they all knew about the coma and they all hoped that she would never recover, so that Steve would be available.

Natasha noticed the unfriendly looks at her and Steve didn’t notice anything. One of the mothers who always flirts with him approached them.

**\- Good morning, Steve. Good morning, Sarah, James... Natasha... It's good to see you. It doesn’t look like she was in the hospital. You still look so… Beautiful.**

The woman said, clearly indicating that she was envious of Natasha's appearance, they hoped to see her like a sick person, but Natasha was brand-new.

Natasha didn’t smile, she just nodded greeting the woman.

**\- Steve, I hope you haven’t forgotten the parenting meeting tomorrow. I'll take advantage to bring you, your favorite dessert.**

The woman said and laid her hand on Steve's arm, and she still squeezed to feel the muscles of his arm, she always does that and Steve thought it was normal.

Natasha just watched the scene. Not that she's jealous of Steve. Not at all, but if he is her husband, he is hers and no other woman has to talk to him, much less touch him like that.

**N: What time does she enter?**

**S: Soon.**

The bell rang. Steve put Sarah on the floor, she got in line with the other kids. Before entering the school, she looked back and waved to Natasha, smiling. She was very sweet. Natasha waved back.

**N: Now, It’s James turn!**

Natasha ruffled his hair. They got in the car and Steve left James in his entrance.

Steve and Natasha went to the base of the Avengers. On entering the premises of the building, everyone was watching her and whispering. Natasha didn’t mind, this reaction is normal if she was away. Steve went to the command room with her, as he entered the room, he spotted Tony, Bruce, Thor, Clint, Bobbi, Wanda, Vision, Jessica Drew and Carol Danvers.

Natasha only remembered Clint and Bobbi. She knew Tony because he was always on TV, the rest she had no idea who they were.

**Tony: Look who's back!**

**S: Natasha, this is Tony, remember him?**

**N: The Millionaire from Stark Industries. I know him from TV.**

**S: This is Wanda and she is married to Vision.**

**V: Nice to see you again.**

**N: But what are you?**

Natasha frowned to see Vision.

**V: I'm an android.**

**N: And she's married to him? How so?**

Natasha was confused.

**S: It's a long story, I’ll tell you some other day. This is Bruce.**

**N: Banner? The Hulk?**

**S: Yes.**

**N: What is he doing here??**

Natasha seemed worried.

**S: He's an avenger.**

**N: He's dangerous! Have you all gone crazy?**

**S: Natasha... It's okay, he's on medication and your reaction is not quite polite… Anyway this is Carol Danvers and that is Jessica Drew and that one is Thor.**

Natasha greeted them, nodding.

**S: This is...**

**N: Clint... Bobbi. How are you?**

Natasha smiled to see familiar faces.

**C: Good, and you?**

**N: Well, I guess. What do we have to do?**

**T: Nothing. You're screwed because of your head, we can’t take any chances.**

**S: Tony!**

**Bruce: It's true, Steve, it can be dangerous.**

**N: Look who's talking about danger. That’s so funny.**

**S: I'll take responsibility for her.**

**N: I don’t need a nanny! I don’t need neither of you. I am out.**

Natasha stormed out of the room. Steve went after her.

**S: Nat, wait!**

**N: What is all this? Seriously, that Tony is an arrogant asshole, I would never agree to work with him. And you have the Hulk in here, what happened to you to trust on him?**

**S: Tony has changed a lot over the years, he still acts like an idiot sometimes. But I assure you that we are all friends and they want your good.**

**N: I don’t remember having friends.**

**S: You know you have to try.**

**N: I don’t want to stay here doing nothing.**

**S: And you want to go where? SHIELD?**

Natasha nodded, Steve's gaze indicating that he didn’t approve of that idea.

**N: I feel weird here, at SHIELD at least, I already know how they work.**

**S: You left SHIELD for a good reason. I won’t stop you from returning, I only worry about your memory.**

**N: It's just a job. I still live with you, so it would still be stimulating my memory, right? I just need some space, Steve. It's all very confusing for me now.**

**S: I know, I understand. You can go.**

**N: I'll see you later.**

**S: I'll walk you to the exit.**

As Natasha and Steve walked through the corridors to leave, they spotted Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes in a kind of fighting center training. They were teaching a group of young men some fighting moves. Natasha recognized Sam from the other night.

Sam noticed Steve and Natasha in the hallway and waved at them. Bucky stared at them too, Steve waved to greet him and he waved back.

Bucky and Natasha just stared at each other for a long time. Natasha does remember Bucky, and all that she reminds about him is that they were very in love with each other.

It had been so long since they had seen each other. Bucky's passion for Natasha was still present, and it was very noticeable in the way he looked at her and that never bother Steve before because Natasha didn’t correspond him, but today Steve is watching something different in Natasha's gaze at Bucky and that was a huge problem.


	4. The First Fight

Steve spent the day in small missions and helping in the operational sector of the new Tower of Avengers. He checked his cell phone a few times, waiting for some message from Natasha.

Before the accident she used to send him messages all the time. The message contained no texts, only emotes and it was usually the ";-)" just to say that she was thinking about him at that moment.

Natasha didn’t send messages all day, Steve was disappointed. He knows she doesn’t remember any of it, but it still hurts. And he couldn’t even hug her yet, it was very difficult this situation.

At the end of the day, Steve decided to call Natasha to see if she was done working at SHIELD, but she didn’t answer. Steve figured she was still busy.

Steve picks up the kids at school whenever is possible, but when he's working, it's harder, so he hired a nanny to pick the kids and to stay with them until he gets home.

Steve drove straight home, he tried to call Natasha once more as he got out of the car. No one answered the call.

Steve arrived at the apartment and as soon as he came in, James came running like a rocket for him.

**J: Dad, let's play horseback!**

**\- Mr. Rogers, I'm sorry for the rush, but I have to go.**

The nanny approached with Sarah in her lap. Steve picked Sarah up.

**S: Alright, Cindy. Thank you. At the weekend, I paid the rest.**

**Cindy: No problem. Bye, children.**

Cindy went away, and James was still waiting, wanting to play. Sarah was already sleepy, and with a pacifier in her mouth, she laid her head on Steve's shoulder. Steve ran his hand over her back.

**S: James, give me a minute, I'm going to put Sarah in bed and I need to take a shower first too.**

**Sarah: Daddy, where's mama?**

**S: She's working, but she'll be home soon.**

Steve put Sarah in her bed and covered her. Steve pulled the pacifier from her mouth.

**S: I think you're pretty big for that.**

Sarah didn’t smile, she looked serious, and looked more tired than the usual. Steve noticed something different about her. Sarah coughed a little.

**Sarah: I want my mommy.**

**S: She's coming home soon, baby.**

**Sarah: She's not.**

**S: Of course she is. Go to sleep a little bit, that when she arrives, I'll wake you up to see her.**

**Sarah: Promise?**

**S: I promise.**

Steve put his finger on the tip of her nose and she smiled a little, turned to the side, and slept. Steve left her bedroom and closed the door.

It was weird the silence that was in the apartment, Steve went to check James in the living room and saw James sleeping on the couch. Steve smiled and picked him up.

**J: Dad? Dad, let's play.**

**S: Let's go, James.**

Steve stroked James' back and he went back to sleep. Steve put him on the bed and turned out the lights.

When Steve was leaving the bedroom, James called him.

**J: Dad?**

Steve looked at him from the doorway.

**J: The light.**

Steve walked over to his bed and switched on the lamp. James closed his eyes and slept.

Steve finally went to his bedroom to take a shower and before the shower, he called Natasha again, but this time he got right into the mailbox. Steve didn’t want to worry, because Natasha knows how to handle herself, but she barely left the hospital... Worry was inevitable. He took a shower and then prepared something for them to eat, he already imagined that she would arrive, feeling hungry.

Steve ate and stared at his cell phone. He called Natasha again, then he called twice and the call was dropped, in fact it looked like she had rejected the call.

Steve laid on the couch because he was very tired but he couldn’t sleep. He decided to call her again, and fell into the mailbox.

It was about midnight and no sign of Natasha. Sarah woke up in the middle of the night, coughing heavily, crying and calling for her mother. Steve ran into her room.

**S: Sarah, is everything okay?**

**Sarah: Mamma, mama.**

Sarah only called Natasha and cried. Steve leaned against her forehead and she was very hot in fever. It wasn’t the first time Steve had faced this, Sarah had been sick before, but James don’t because he has the serum in his veins.

Steve did the standard procedure, he gave her the medication, put a cold towel on her forehead for the fever to lower, and held her on his lap for hours until she calmed down and slept again.

It was 3 o'clock in the morning when Steve heard the door handle of the apartment. He left Sarah on the bed and went into the living room.

Natasha was creeping in, she thought Steve and the kids were already asleep, she was astonished to see Steve in the hallway staring at her with disapproving eyes.

Natasha doesn’t have patience to explain herself. After all, she never explained herself to anyone, only at work, and if she comes home, she wants peace, she doesn’t want anyone complaining in her ear. She decided to ignore Steve and walked by him, saying nothing. She went into her bedroom and closed the door.

Steve was going to let it go, but the fact that she didn’t even talked to him made him uncomfortable. He opened the door to their bedroom. Natasha looked at him with no expression in her eyes.

**S: If you are arriving late, at least send a message, or pick up the phone.**

**N: I don’t have to.**

****

Steve came in with the intention of saying just that, but Natasha's response made him angry.

**S: Yes, you have! We were worried about you.**

Natasha took off her shoes, throwing them away, clearly angry.

**N: Gee, did I need babysitting before the coma, huh?**

**S: It's not about babysitting! We have 2 children, Natasha. Sarah was with a fever and she was calling for you!**

**N: Do I look like a nurse, by any chance? Why didn’t you take her to the hospital?**

**S: Because I know how to take care of a fever!**

**N: So what do I have to do with all of this? God, why are you complaining if you knew how to solve the problem. I wouldn’t know how to solve it, I don’t know how to take care of children, much less when they are sick.**

****

Steve took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a few seconds. He was reminding himself that this Natasha, is not the same Natasha he was used to, she doesn’t remember him or the children. He can’t expect everything to be as it was before.

**N: I don’t want to have to keep reporting every step I take. I don’t remember having this life you say I had. I don’t even know if I want this life, I feel suffocated, I don’t feel myself here, I'm fed up! I don’t like being controlled.**

That phrase hurt Steve a lot, but he managed to keep grounded at the time.

**S: I understand that it's difficult for you, I don’t want to fight... I was only worried about you because you left the hospital recently, I was afraid that you would have hurt or something. I don’t want to control you, I never did and I don’t want you to feel suffocated in your own home. I'm sorry to complain with you, it was only because I was worried about you.**

Natasha let out a long breath and looked at Steve. She could identify pain in his expression. She doesn’t mind hurting people, but she understands that she should try to remember and try to understand. And, Maria Hill pointed out to her that Steve is a good person and does not deserve to suffer.

**N: I'll... I'll let you know next time.**

Steve nodded. He was now looking at her body better, after she pulled out her jacket. She was covered in bruises on her arm.

**S: You're hurt.**

Natasha looked at her arms, she didn’t noticed that she was so hurt.

**N: It was a busy day. Don’t worry, I'm fine.**

Steve nodded.

**S: Good night, then...**

Steve let out a small sigh before closing the door. He closed the door slowly, because he was still looking at Natasha. He wanted very much to take care of her wounds, to be her pillow tonight, he wanted at least to touch her a little.

Steve misses those lips, he doesn’t even know if he remembers their taste. Lie, he remembers indeed, he remember the taste of her mouth and the smell of her skin.

Steve finally closed the door and went to bed.

Natasha watched the way he looked at her and she knew what he wanted. Natasha felt in that look how much he desires her, and how much he cares about her. It was a wonderful feeling to know that you are wanted and loved like that. And she's used to it, for her, at the moment, he's just another man in love with her. But a lover, who she must try hard to not break his heart.

Natasha took a shower, and lay down on the bed. She closed her eyes but couldn’t sleep at all. Something was missing for her to sleep. Natasha snorted and patted her pillows and began to get irritated.

It turns out that Natasha, after a full day, needs to relieve herself. And Natasha is relieved either exercising or having sex, because these two things make her exhausted and she can sleep.

Natasha sighed and looked at the door.

She could relieve with Steve, after all he is her husband, it wouldn’t be a sin, it wouldn’t be wrong and, well, he's very attractive, all those muscles, if he knows how to use those muscles as she likes, she will sleep for hours.

Natasha bit her lip and lay on her side. She couldn’t sleep with him because she doesn’t feel anything for him but he feels for her, and when she wakes up all cold the next morning, she won’t be able to leave and get rid of his cryings. Natasha is married to him, if she hurts him, she'll have to handle with him heartbroken every day. She can’t.

Natasha got out of bed on impulse, she decided she was going to run. It doesn’t matter if it's 4 o'clock in the morning, she needs something. Natasha put on her gym pants, a tank top, and a sweatshirt. She put on her running shoes, a cap on her head, and left the room quietly.

Turns out Rogers hadn’t slept yet too. She came into the living room and Steve looked at her in surprise. He didn’t dare ask, this time.

**N: I'll... I’m going to run.**

**S: Okay?**

Steve just watched her, Natasha put the hood of her coat over her cap and left the apartment to run. Steve lay down on the couch, but with Natasha on the street, he doesn’t sleep. He stayed up.

Natasha ran for 3 blocks, she stopped and looked at the clock. 4:40 am, she was already completely sweaty, she unzipped her coat and took off her hood, stretched and ran back home.

Natasha ran upstairs, running, to get even more tired. She stopped at the door of the apartment and stretched out again, so as not to wake anyone. She stepped into the apartment, sweaty and panting, she looked around the living room and Rogers wasn’t on the couch sleeping.

Natasha was surprised, but decided to go to her room.

When she reached the hallway, Steve was coming out of the bathroom in his shorts and shirtless. Natasha stared at Steve from head to toe and especially his sill. Natasha closed her eyes tightly. _Damn it!_ Natasha thought as she approached Steve in the hall, she stopped in front of him and looked at him closely. Steve didn’t expect this reaction, he was paralyzed from the moment he left the bathroom and saw her.

Natasha lifted her face more, as if expecting a kiss from Steve, but he didn’t move, he just looked at her and gasped for breath.

 _Won’t he react to that? Okay, I'll have to do everything...?_ Natasha thought, until her thoughts were interrupted by Steve, who simply grabbed her by the waist and lifted her without any difficulty, he put his lips to hers, and his tongue was eager to find hers.

The moment their tongues touched, Steve kissed her with so much affection and desire, that Natasha felt her whole body shiver and she got weaker on the legs.

Steve threw her body hard against the wall, and he couldn’t let go of her mouth, Natasha put her hands on his face and tried to interrupt the kiss, but Steve was missing her to much to let her escape from him.

Natasha managed with difficulty, to release her mouth from his for a moment. Steve turned his mouth to her neck.

**N: Bedroom! The children. Bedroom.**

Natasha warned Steve, who immediately carried her to the bedroom and put her on the floor.

Steve closed the door with his foot and his gaze was so greedy, that Natasha was worried about what she had triggered on him. Okay, she wanted to get laid, but she ran for almost one hour and Steve doesn’t look like he's going to be fast....


	5. Love and Sex

After Steve closed the door, Natasha slowly unzipped the sweatshirt and pulled it out. Steve stood watching.

Natasha hold on her tank top and Steve took a deep breath watching Natasha's perfect abs being revealed. Steve walked over to her, and pushed her causing her to fall back on the bed. The movement made Natasha’s hair fly on her face.

Steve stroked her belly and Natasha propped her elbows on the bed, a little impatient, because she wants some action and Steve was worried to worship her body.

Natasha sat on the bed and reached the edge, she looked at Steve with that fatal way that Steve already knew. Natasha lowered Steve’s shorts, and as he was without his underwear, she could already notice how horny he was. Natasha was going to do some oral on Steve, but he pushed her back on the bed again and lay on top of her body. Steve started to kiss her again.

Natasha moved her hips up, rubbing her body against Steve's cock, to tease him even more. She bit his lip hard that he was forced to interrupt the kiss. Natasha took the opportunity to remove the gym pants she was wearing and her panties also.

She hold on Steve's cock gently and started to rub it. Steve let out a groan of satisfaction and rested his hands on the bed, holding the duvet tight. Natasha was going to place Steve's cock inside, but he hold her wrist, making her let go of his cock. Natasha snorted, impatient, she needed it and needed it now.

Steve wanted to look at her first, he noticed that she is in a hurry, but after so long waiting, he needs to examine her whole body again. He needs to feel her.

Steve slid his hand down on Natasha's very red neck, then he slid his hand over her breasts. He squeezed each of her breasts tightly and lowered her bra, revealing Natasha's nipples.

Steve used his other hand to unite her two boobs and to be able to lick her nipples at once. That move made Natasha squirm a little and let out a moan. Steve still sucked Natasha's nipples hard for minutes, even leaving a purple mark on it.

Natasha craved her nails on his neck in retribution. Steve slid his hand down Natasha's belly and ran his fingers down to Natasha's intimate part.

Steve outlined her clit with his fingers, trying to recognize every inch of her. It was kind of absurd, since her body couldn’t have changed, but Steve wanted to make sure that her body was still as he knows it and that her body still reacts as it has always reacted to his actions.

Natasha moaned more when she felt his fingers, she just didn’t want to continue in the foreplay, this Natasha is not like that. She looked at him, breathing heavily.

**N: Steve...**

Steve looked up to see Natasha’s face. Natasha held Steve's face with both hands, as if she were calling him for a kiss, and Steve, of course, accepted and moved up to kiss her. Natasha pressed her lips to his and she gave an impulse to throw him on the bed beside her.

**N: Let me do it for you...**

Steve just watched her, he was going to let her do whatever she wanted with him. Natasha grabbed Steve's cock again and she stroked it quickly, jerking him off and making Steve even more horny, he gasped and bit his lip to keep from groaning. When she felt he was ready enough, she sat on his cock and let it slid complete inside her.

Natasha started to move her body up and down, slowly. Steve just lifted his head, as if he was short of air to breathe, he was so red. Natasha bit her lip as she increased the speed of her movements. She opened her bra and removed it, then she took Steve's hand and sucked the full length of his two fingers, Steve was ecstatic at the time, no longer cared to groan.

Natasha directed his fingers to her clit and made Steve caress her clit as she bent over his cock.

They both moaned with pleasure, until Natasha reached her orgasm and she jumped to the side to calm her body, but Steve didn’t let her get away for too long, he sat on the bed and pulled her body to be sitting on him again, he fit his cock inside her again kept his arms around her waist.

Steve made Natasha’s body go up and down again and he had his face at the height of her breasts, he bit the bottom of Natasha's breast and she let out a scream of pain and scratched his face leaving a mark on it.

Steve pulled her lower, getting completely immersed in her and he hugged her body tighter, as if he was afraid of losing her again. Natasha was a bit annoyed with this whole feeling moment coming from him but she allowed, after all it wasn’t that bad to be loved like that, it was even delicious.

As Steve wouldn’t release her, Natasha managed to hold onto his shoulders and started to move up and down again to help Steve cum... After half an hour, Natasha had another orgasm, but Steve still didn’t, Natasha was surprised by his resistance, but she was tired .

**N: Steve, are you going to...?**

**S: Yeah, yeah.**

Natasha paused, panting, but Steve turned her body to be on top of her, without removing his cock and he started to pump her fast.

**S: I'm almost...**

Natasha thought she couldn’t take it anymore and she would have to pretend to be feeling pleasure, but the way Rogers moves inside her was different, his movements had something unique, and he ended up getting her to get all horny again, Natasha was already moaning without notice, and Steve was like a mute person because he needed to use the strength he had to try to breathe and because all his strength was in the fast movements he was doing on Natasha’s body.

When Steve finally felt he was going to cum, he finally removed his cock from Natasha and stood up beside the band. Steve pulled Natasha by her feet, then he took her in his lap and again he penetrated her. Natasha wrapped her arms around Steve's neck and let her head fall backwards, because her body was on the edge. Natasha felt an adrenaline rush through her body and again she had an orgasm, her body trembled so much that she didn’t even have the strength to hold onto his neck anymore.

Steve felt more pleasure at seeing Natasha's reaction, and he held her back so she wouldn’t fall and he immediately started to cum. Steve finally screamed in pleasure as he enjoyed it, the veins in his neck were already leaping.

Steve laid Natasha on the bed and kissed her shoulder, then her neck, he laid beside her and they ended up sleeping together.

In the middle of the night, Steve put his arm over Natasha’s belly and stroked it a little, but Natasha nudged Steve lightly for him to get off her. She removed his hand and turned to the side to sleep. Steve stood in the same position looking at her, he frowned and was disappointed by Natasha's reaction. Did he do something wrong? Steve didn’t stop thinking about it, if he had hurt her, if her was too fast or too slow, if he should have waited for her to recover her memory, if it was invasive, but it seemed to be perfect.

They always slept on each other arms after making love before the accident.

...

The next morning, James woke up and went to the living room looking for his father but didn’t find him, so he assumed Steve would be in his bedroom. James knocked on the door and opened it.

**J: Dad?**

Neither Steve nor Natasha moved, they practically spent the night awake. They were both exhausted.

James walked near the bed and pushed Steve’s arm.

**J: Dad? Daaaad?**

**S: What?**

Steve couldn’t even open his eyes. He spoke sleepily.

**J: Dad, are we not going to school?**

**S: School?**

Steve was now awakening, he opened his eyes and realized that James was inside his bedroom. Steve felt a relief for him and natasha to be covered by the blanket, he didn’t remember to cover with the blanket.

Steve looked at the clock.

**S: My God, it’s eleven already!**

**J: Yaaayy! No school, no school!**

**S: All right, I just need to take a shower, we're not going to wake your mother, okay? Wait for me outside.**

**J: What were you doing? You look bruised.**

Steve frowned.

**S: What?**

**J: Were you playing here? Of what?**

**S: Well... James, we talk later, mommy is sleeping, go wait for me in the living room.**

James left the bedroom and Steve entered the bathroom, he took a shower and when he left the bathroom, he stood for a while, admiring Natasha sleeping and remembering the night before, and also thinking about how will she react to that.

Steve got dressed and left the bedroom. When he arrived in the living room, Sarah was watching TV, with the pacifier in her mouth.

**S: Good morning, princess.**

Sarah looked at Steve, smiled, and turned her attention to the TV again. Steve laid his hand on her forehead and she didn’t seem to have a fever anymore.

**Sarah: Stop, Daddy, I'm seeing Lazy Town. Get out.**

**S: Oh, is that so? Trading daddy for Lazy Town?**

Sarah didn’t even listen, Steve went to the kitchen to prepare the breakfast. James climbed onto the counter.

**J: Since we're not going to school, can we go to the park?**

**S: James, I don’t know, I have to see if they won’t need me at work.**

**J: Please, Dad, please.**

**Sarah: Park! Park! Park!**

**J: Park! Park! Park!**

**S: Hey, hey, calm down. I said I'll see, if you eat all the cereal, take a shower and do your homework, I'll take you there.**

**J: And Mommy too?**

**S: I don’t know if she's going to work, James.**

**J: Oh...**

**S: Take your cereal.**

Steve poured James' bowl and then took the bowl to Sarah on the couch.

**Sarah: I want my milk.**

**S: There's milk in the cereal, Sarah.**

**Sarah: I want the bottle.**

**S: Sarah, you know how to use the cup already. You’re a big girl now.**

**Sarah: Bottle! Bottle! Bottle!**

**S: Okay, but you're going to take a bottle and still have to eat the cereal, otherwise we're not going anywhere.**

Steve prepared Sarah's milk and put it in the bottle, he handed it to her, which she took, still watching a TV.

After the kids ate, Steve decided to go back to the bedroom while Natasha was still sleeping, just to check on her.

Steve opened the bedroom door and Natasha was not in bed anymore, he looked at the bathroom and the door was open and he could hear the noise of the shower. Steve could see Natasha's back through the mirror, he looked at her for a few seconds and decided to wait for her there in their bedroom.

Steve sat down at the table to draw.

Natasha took around 20 minutes in the bath, she finally left the bathroom, with body wrapped in a towel, she came across with Steve, drawing on the table.

Steve stopped drawing and looked at Natasha. Steve gave Natasha a sweet smile, he thought their relationship would become more intimate now that they slept together, but Natasha didn’t even look into his eyes, she got rid of the towel and searched for what to wear in the closet.

Steve was still look, but when she got naked, he looked away otherwise the “little Rogers” was going to be all up and well...

Natasha got dressed and took a jacket to complete the look. She walked to the bedroom door to open it, and at that moment she gave a brief glance at Steve, who looked at her as if he expected her to talk to him.

 _Oh Jesus!_ Natasha thought. She doesn’t have anything to offer him, he certainly expects a family theater, with a good morning kiss, having breakfast with the children, taking them to school, working and so on.

 _I should have kept my legs closed_. Natasha thought again.

Natasha waited for Steve to say, or complain about something, but he didn’t complain, he didn’t ask or demand anything from her. It was just that look on his face that makes her feel extremely uncomfortable.

 _Why don’t he just say what he wants?_ Natasha thought, for the seconds they still looked at each other.

 _I'm going to ignore it, I'm not obliged, I'm going to SHIELD, even though it's already late and at some point he will explode and he will throw in my face that sex night we had, but if he doesn’t want to do it now, great, better for me!_ Natasha thought again.

**S: I left your breakfast on the counter.**

****

Natasha narrowed her eyes, confused. She expected any kind of phrase except that.

Isn’t he going to talk about the last night? Isn’t he going to say that he is very happy with the night they had? Won’t he say that he missed her like crazy and that he can’t wait for tonight and repeat the dose? So he's not in love as she thought, and even if he's not that in love, how dare he not beg for her again? That’s not usual.

Natasha still had her proud side, and if she goes to bed with someone, that someone will always wants more. What game is that Steve Rogers is playing?

Natasha just nodded, not addressing him, and left the bedroom. As she walked down the hallway, she noticed Sarah's bedroom door was open, Natasha had even forgotten that the children exists. She saw that Sarah was distracted trying to put on her shoes, and was even relieved that she wouldn’t have to give attention for her now.

Natasha continued to walk.

**Sarah: Mamma!**

Natasha stopped in the hallway and let out a slight sigh as she returned to Sarah's door.

**N: Hey, I heard you got sick last night, are you better?**

****

Sarah nodded.

**Sarah: Are you going with us to the park?**

**N: To the park? No, no, I'm going to work.**

**J: But it's late, Daddy's going to take us there.**

Natasha watched James standing in the hallway.

**N: Oh good that your father will take you there, but I can’t.**

Steve appeared in the hallway too, but he was silent, watching them.

**J: Please, Mom, come with us.**

**Sarah: Come on, mamma.**

**N: I can’t, but have a lot of fun, when I get home late, I'll want to know everything. Okay?**

Sarah smiled and nodded, but James was crestfallen and didn’t answer.

Natasha noticed Steve's presence in the hallway, but she preferred to ignore it, she took a toast that Steve had prepared for her, popped it in the mouth and picked up an apple.

Sarah ran from the bedroom to the living room.

**Sarah: Bye, bye, mamma.**

James appeared right behind Sarah and was still looking disappointed at Natasha.

Natasha winked at Sarah and when she looked at James, she felt the same strange feeling as when Steve looked at her that morning. And she doesn’t know what it feels like, just knows it's a nagging sensation.

Steve appeared behind the children, looking at Natasha too. He put his hand on James's shoulder and James looked his father but he was still upset.

Natasha left the apartment.

**S: Hey champ, be happy, we’re going to the park! I'll take you and your sister. Let’s get ready!**

**J: But Mom didn’t even want to go. She doesn’t want to be with us anymore. Why?**

**S: She has to work, James.**

**J: But she just came back and she just works. It’s not fair!**

****

**S: I know, she just needs some time, remember what we talked about, right? Mom is going through a difficult time, but she loves you very much. Now let’s go, because after the park we're going to Mc Donalds. What about that, huh?**

**J: Yaaay!**

Sarah and James exclaimed their excitement.

**Sarah: Look, Dad, I put my “shu” on, by myself.**

Steve looked at Sarah's feet with her shoes on.

**S: You almost got it, it's only on the wrong way. Let me help you.**

Steve put Sarah on the kitchen counter and put her shoes in the right way, he waited for James to get ready and the three of them went out to the park.


	6. The Park

Natasha came downstairs running and she got into her car, although James's disappointment gaze at her didn’t leave her mind.

 _What the fuck._ Natasha thought. She called Hill and turned on the speakerphone.

**_N: Hill, I screwed up._ **

**_H: What?_ **

Natasha was silent, Hill sighed impatiently.

**_N: Me and Steve last night..._ **

**_H: You had sex?_ **

**_N: Yes._ **

**_H: Was it good?_ **

**_N: Hill, did you hear what I just said?_ **

**_H: He's your husband, no big deal._ **

Natasha remembered that now.

**_N: I know but the next day, it was weird._ **

**_H: What do you mean? Was he clinging?_ **

**_N: No, the other way around. Actually, in the middle of the night I covered him, like I put a blanker over his body because it was cold. I'm not like that._ **

**_H: And you're upset about that?_ **

**_N: No, I'm relieved that he didn’t insist with anything. But that’s not all. The children, I mean James... He wanted me to go to a park with them today._ **

**_H: Why did not you go?_ **

**_N: Me in a park?_ ** **_Hill!_ **

**_H: Okay, I don’t know why you called me then, I have more stuff to do._ **

**_N: Hill, it's just that I feel like I should go with them._ **

Hill rolled her eyes, though Natasha couldn’t see her now.

**_H: Then go!_ **

**_N: I think I’ll go. I'll see you tomorrow._ **

**_H: Hm... Natasha? Can I ask you something?_ **

**_N: What?_ **

**_H: How Rogers is in bed?_ **

**_N: Why do you want to know how my husband is in bed?_ **

**_H: Oh now he's your husband, right?_ **

**_N: Not now, baby, according to you, he’s been my husband for years. And I won’t tell you anything._ **

Natasha was taking a shortcut to the park.

**_N: It was very good, if you want to know._ **

**_H: Really?_ **

**_N: I didn’t expect much, and I was very surprised._ **

**_H: Rogers? Really... Who would know..._ **

Hill smiled sarcastically.

**_H: And his thing is big?_ **

**_N: Now you want to know too much._ **

Natasha hung up the phone and she was already near the park, she was still trying to contain the laughter of the conversation she had with Hill.

Natasha parked in the parking spot and got out of the car. The park was a little crowded, lots of kids running, screaming, crying, drooling and so on. Natasha was beginning to think it was a bad idea to go the park.

Natasha walked through the park looking for Steve and the kids. After a few minutes walking, she finally found them in a shooting tent.

James tried to shoot in vain, to get one of the prizes, while Steve waited with Sarah in his lap. James had only two more shots. He was flushed with anger because he couldn’t hit any of the ducks. He took a deep breath and looked at the can. He shot and didn’t hit again. By the time he was about to start to complain about it, Natasha approached them.

**N: You're doing it wrong.**

The three of them looked at her. Sarah smiled broadly, just like James. Steve smiled with happiness, but he was trying to be more controlled.

**Sarah: Mamma!**

**J: You came.**

Natasha nodded and approached James, she grabbed James's gun and duck to teach him. She pointed the gun and tilted her head.

**N: You need to see over the gun, like this. Try now.**

Natasha handed the gun to James and he pointed, trying to imitate his mother. He shot and it was closer this time, but he couldn’t hit the duck.

**J: Shit!**

Sarah put a hand to her mouth, shocked, and Steve looked at James with reproach. Natasha didn’t understand the panic.

**S: James, language!**

**N: Shit is not a dirty word.**

**S: Of course it is.**

**J: It's not, Mom knows more.**

**S: Since when does she knows more?**

**N: Since forever.**

**S: Natasha, if they say these things at school, they will be punished and we both will be called there to hear the director's sermon, are you going to spend an afternoon listening to a sermon?**

**N: Jesus Christ. Okay. Sarah and James, no curses.**

**J: I just wanted that tank of war!**

Natasha looked around and saw a tent with targets that moved endlessly.

**N: What if I get something bigger for you?**

**J: What?**

**N: That skateboard from that tent.**

**J: Oh, no one can hit more than one on that tent, and you have to hit at least 3 to win the cheapest prize.**

**N: I'll win that skateboard.**

Natasha walked confidently to the tent, James was running and jumping at the same time behind her. Steve put Sarah on the floor and gave her a hand, following Natasha to the tent.

Natasha paid the keeper and picked up the toy gun.

Natasha used only one hand, she looked at the targets moving fast. Natasha observed for a few seconds, to record the sequence with which they appeared. Natasha started the shots, there were 10 crazy targets moving around, Natasha shot 7 of them. James was open-mouthed, as were Sarah and the other kids around. Everyone near by applauded.

Natasha just didn’t hit the rest because the gun seemed to be broken now.

Natasha got very angry.

**N: But what the hell???**

Natasha threw the gun on the counter.

**N: The gun is broken! You give me another gun.**

**\- But ma’am you've hit enough to win a big prize.**

**N: I don’t want to know, you're trying to fool me, give me a gun!**

Natasha stepped towards the guy, aggressively, but Steve grabbed her arm.

**S: Sorry, what's the prize you talked about?**

Steve spoke with the keeper.

Natasha stared at Steve as if she was going to kill him for holding her, but Steve had raised his eyebrows and he had a smile that showed so much tenderness and pride at the same time, that Natasha frowned and strangely calmed down. She straightened her jacket.

**J: Skateboard, skateboard!**

But it wasn’t a skateboard that James won, the keeper put on the counter a teddy bear that was almost the size of Natasha.

Sarah's eyes widened and James frowned.

**J: Not a bear! Skateboard!**

**\- Sorry, skateboard is for those who hit 5, this one is worth much more.**

**N: He wants the skateboard. It's all right, give it to him.**

**Sarah: Mine, mine, mine!**

Sarah stood on tiptoe and grabbed the foot of the bear that ended up falling over her and made her fell on the grass with it. The bear got all dirty.

**\- I can not accept it back that way.**

**N: Listen, you moth...**

**S: Thanks, we'll keep the bear.**

Steve picked up the bear and helped Sarah to her feet.

**J: It's not fair!**

**S: You try another day.**

**N: I'm starving.**

**S: Let's go to the food court.**

Sarah ran to stand in front of Steve and ask for a lap.

**S: Sarah, I have to carry the bear now.**

**Sarah: Up, daddy, up.**

Natasha sighed impatiently.

**N: Come on mine, Sarah.**

Sarah went to Natasha's lap and they all went to the food court, and arriving there there were booths of various types of food, but no McDonald's.

**J: Ohhh, Dad, there is no Happy Meal here. I want the toy.**

**S: I forgot about that, James. There’s no McDonald’s here, I promise to take you another day.**

**J: Oh, dammit!**

**S: James, do you want to get grounded?**

James folded his arms in disgust.

Steve stared at Natasha.

**S: Stay here with them, one minute, I'll get the food for us.**

**N: You mean alone with them?**

**S: I’ll be quick and they'll behave. In fact, James will come with me to help me bring the trays.**

Steve retired to buy the food with James.

Natasha sat Sarah on the bench, but she stood and sat down at the table, facing Natasha.

Sarah smiled at Natasha, who frowned at her, trying to understand why she always smiles that much.

Sarah was amused at Natasha's seriousness and began to laugh. Natasha frowned even more.

**N: You're crazy, aren’t you?**

Sarah held her laughter for a moment and laughed again.

**N: What?? What is so funny?**

Sarah was laughing even more, and the people at the tables around them, began to look at her and they were smiling and probably judging Natasha, as the best mother in the world for making her daughter laugh so much.

Sarah stopped laughing, but then she laughed again. Natasha watched the way Sarah was spontaneous, she was the translation of the word happiness. How can anyone be happy like that with a mother like her?

Natasha shook her head and she didn’t notice that her facial expression changed, Natasha was actually smiling and she even laughed a little.

Steve approached the table with the food.

**S: What's the joke?**

Sarah looked at him and smiled, she waited for Steve to put the French fries on the table to pick one, she bit and immediately began to cry, Natasha looked at her worriedly.

**S: Sarah, you never wait! It's very hot yet.**

Sarah moved to Natasha's arms and laid her head on her chest.

**J: You so dumb!**

Sarah frowned and showed her tongue to James, who showed his in return.

Steve sat down to eat and looked to Natasha.

**S: You want to give her to me, so you can eat?**

**N: No, it's okay.**

Natasha managed to keep Sarah on her lap and get her hot dog. Steve couldn’t help but look at her and smile, her maternal instinct was active now, Natasha was like this before the coma, she could nurse Sarah and do the day's activities, she took care of James and also took care of him, all at the same time.

Natasha blew one of the French fries and handed it to Sarah, who held it and was suspicious, afraid of getting her mouth burned again, after a while she ended up eating.

Sarah sat on Natasha's lap straight and ate a piece of the hamburger that Steve brought to her. She took only two bites and looked at Steve.

**Sarah: My bottle!**

**S: Bottle not.**

**Sarah: My bottle!**

Sarah threatened to cry.

**S: Sarah, there's no bottle in here.**

**N: A bottle? A girl that big with bottle? No way a daughter of mine, in that age will keep taking bottles.**

Sarah started to breathe hard and grumble.

**J: Look, Sarah, the pigeons.**

James pointed to a group of pigeons a little away from them. James is an expert at avoiding Sarah's cries, he fights with her, but he can’t bear to see her cry.

Sarah jumped from Natasha's lap and held out her hand to James, who held her hand and ran to play of scaring the pigeons.

Natasha watched them both and found it all very strange, playing with pigeons... What an idea!

**N: Are they normal?**

Steve was offended now.

**S: Of course they are.**

**N: They don’t look like it.**

**S: What do you mean?**

Natasha noticed that Steve was really offended by her phrase, she didn’t even want to be rude, it was just a joke.

**N: Nothing... I was just joking, soldier. Relax.**

At the end of the meal, Steve, Natasha and the kids returned to the park to see the rest of the tents.

James spotted a tent, that the person has to use a sledgehammer to hit the machine and whoever that hit that hard enough win a prize.  The prizes varied from water gun, balls, skateboard to a bike.

**J: Dad, you have to win my skateboard, now! You're strong!**

**S: All right, James. Let’s try.**

Steve agreed and paid the machine keeper.

Actually, Steve wanted to show off his strength to not only his children, but for Natasha, because she doesn’t remember how strong he is, and he needs to demonstrate it to her now.

Steve moved his shoulders a bit and held the sledgehammer, he asked Natasha and the kids to move away to be safe, Steve turned the sledgehammer in the air and hit with all force the machine. Steve marked the highest point and an alarm sounded.

**\- OH MY GOD! Congratulations, sir! Geez, nobody's ever hit the mark, but you’re the Captain America!**

**J: Yaaaayy daddy!**

James ran and jumped on Steve's lap.

Steve glanced at Natasha, who was still paying attention to the muscles in his arm. She was impressed, but she pretended to not be, after all, she's the Black Widow, she can’t be easy to read.

**\- Your prize, sir.**

The keeper didn’t bring the skateboard, but he brought the bike. If James was excited about a skateboard, imagine how he was to see a bike, he came down from Steve's lap and ran to get the bike.

Sarah laid her head on Natasha's shoulder and yawned.

**N: You're sleepy, Sarah.**

Natasha looked at Steve.

**N: We can go home now, right?**

Steve nodded and when they walked to parking lot, they had to split by the two cars. The children returned with Steve and Natasha returned alone, but bringing prizes that the kids won.

Steve and Natasha arrived at the same time. Natasha got out of the car and went to Steve's, she sensed that James was going to sleep in the car as well, they played too much.

**N: I'll take her and you take him. We get the bear and the bike after.**

Steve nodded. They went up to the apartment and they put the children on the bed. Natasha was in James' bedroom after she had put Sarah in her bedroom, she was just checking on him, she was about to leave when James opened his eyes and looked at her.

**J: It was very nice today, Mom.**

Natasha gave a small smile and nodded.

**N: It was, right?**

****

**J: Can we do this again?**

**N: Maybe, now go to sleep, kid.**

Natasha closed the door to his bedroom, and Steve was just leaving Sarah's room too, the two of them bumping into each other as they turned around. Steve held onto Natasha's waist to lessen the impact between their bodies.

**S: Sorry.**

**N: Sorry.**

They both laughed at having spoken at the same time.

Steve was now looking at her, watching her perfect smile, he loses his breath every time he sees her smiling spontaneously like that.

Natasha looked at him without judging, but trying to understand what was contained in that smile and those eyes and why he makes her feel so strange... It's kind of bizarre the effect he has on her, it's like he has some kind of enchantment. She almost felt like kissing him now.

**S: Good night.**

****

Natasha felt more strange again.

 _Good Night? Good night? Only that? Aren’t you going to try and kiss me? To take me to bed again? Aren’t you going to use the beautiful day we had as an excuse for us to go to bed? Any man would do that._ Natasha thought and she remembered what Hill said about Steve, that he wasn’t like the other men.

**N: Good night.**

Natasha went to her bedroom, and as she closed the door, she checked to see if Steve was still looking at her, and he was, but he was still not trying anything with her.

Steve went to the living room, he lay on the couch.

Natasha also lay down on the bed, she closed her eyes tight but she couldn’t sleep, she was irritated and confused.

Natasha punched the mattress, then she bit the pillow.

 _Natasha, don’t! Don’t do it!_  Natasha thought as she got up and opened the bedroom door, she went to the living room and she looked at Steve, who was on the couch, also unable to sleep.

Steve stared Natasha, then smiled a little.

Natasha looked at him in surprise, as if she didn’t know what she was doing there.

 _Natasha, what are you doing? Go back to your room now! You gonna regret this!_ Natasha screamed at herself in her thought, but her body no longer obeyed, she was already on top of Steve’s body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems that Natasha can't control herself with Steve


	7. True or False?

Natasha's eyes stared at the path her hands area making sliding on Steve's body. She slid her hands down on his shoulders and down to his arms, making sure her whole palm ran down his rough, but still soft skin, she could feel every inch of his skin, even his high veins.

 _How much does he work out per day to have an arm like that? I should stop now_. Natasha's thought alerted her, but she couldn’t stop.

Upon reaching Steve's wrist, she moved her hand to his abdomen and she started to stroke the lines of the packs on his abdomen.

Every line, she touched like if it was a science study and she could feel that he trembled with every touch of her. Natasha didn’t take her eyes from where her fingers ran, she slid her fingers up to Steve's chest, and she could watch his body get all shivered with her touches.

Natasha squeezed Steve's chest, he was a very perfect man, even though she likes man with some hair, it didn’t bother her that Steve hasn’t.

Natasha leaned over Steve and touched the tip of her tongue to his nipple and she slid her tongue from his chest to the base of his neck. Steve's body seemed to be convulsing, he banged his body and clenched his fist, his was breathing with difficulty, he was having trouble to contain himself to not grab her now and throw her on the floor and do what he wanted to do.

 _Why am I doing this? I should stop. I can’t avoid him_. Natasha insisted to herself.

Natasha held onto Steve's hands and made him grab her ass. Steve grabbed it forcefully without the slightest ceremony, he wanted to leave Natasha free to act as she wished. At the same time Steve was pressing his fingers against her butt, he felt her intimate area press down on his cock and he was really turned on.

Steve couldn’t resist and he started to move her hips forward and backward repeatedly, making her parts rub against his cock. Steve repeated the movement slowly and unobtrusively.

Natasha removed the silk sweater she was wearing, and her breasts were free and exposed to Steve, she was only on panties now. Every time he sees her naked it’s like it was news to him, he gets very horny and he admires her body very much.

Natasha watched Steve’s expression and she bit her lip as she helped him, moving her hip harder back and forth, she could feel her part getting wetted and she could feel her parts region begin to pulsing even more.  

Natasha moved her head to the side, allowing her hair to move also to the side as she rested her hands on his chest, so she could stand up enough to move her hips on circles over Steve’s cock.

Steve stared into her eyes, mouth open, trying to breathe. How red he was! He was crazy to penetrate her and Natasha knew that very well, but she kept teasing and staring at him with desire in her eyes. Natasha let out a low moan and Steve threw back his head, trying to hold himself again.

Steve grabbed Natasha's butt harder and moved her back and forth again and Natasha understood that it was this move he liked.

Natasha put a hand on the couch and with her other hand, she squeezed her own breast, letting out another moan. Natasha's panties were already very wet and Steve could feel through his underwear, how excited she was too.

Steve put his hand in his underwear and lowered it so he could feel Natasha’s skin better. Natasha stood up a little, only to pull the panties to the side, then she sit again on Steve’s cock, without letting it inside her. She was still rubbing her pussy against his cock.

When Natasha sat down again on his limb, she felt her body tremble, she almost came, but she struggled to hold on, she wanted to wait for him.

She failed on waiting because Steve's cock veins did the perfect massage on her clit, which made her body move frantically over Steve. They both were about to cum, they were extremely sweaty and red, they contained the screams to not to wake the children.

The pleasured only increased but Natasha felt as if someone was watching them both, she looked sideways and saw no one.

**S: What?**

Natasha made negative with her head and continued her movements, but something was definitely bothering her terribly. Natasha heard someone whisper something to her, but she could not figure out who it was, it wasn’t Steve, he was there with her.

**N: Did you hear that?**

**S: That what?**

Natasha frowned and closed her eyes tightly, trying to ignore the voice that persisted in calling her. Natasha finally opened her eyes and sat down on the bed.

Natasha stared at Sarah watching her.

Natasha was completely sweaty and red. She took a fright, in fact, she looked around and she noticed that was all this time in her bedroom, she searched for Steve and finally she understood that she had been dreaming the whole time.

Natasha was so tired from the day at the park that she lay down to sleep, fell asleep, but dreamed that she was awake and worse... She dreamed that she and Steve were making love in the living room...

**Sarah: Mamma, can I sleep here?**

Natasha put her hand on her forehead and looked at Sarah.

**N: Sarah...**

**Sarah: I'm scared.**

**N: Scared of what?**

**Sarah: The boogeyman.**

**N: There is no such thing.**

Sarah: James said there is.

**N: Look, I assure you he doesn’t exist, I'll go to your bedroom to inspect, okay?**

Sarah nodded and Natasha walked over and pretended to inspect the room.

**N: See? There is nothing. I'll stay here until you fall asleep again.**

Sarah lay on the bed and Natasha covered her.

**N: Close your eyes.**

Sarah closed her eyes and Natasha kept her promise, she stayed until Sarah fell asleep.

Natasha left her bedroom on tiptoe and closed the door, she was still shaken from the dream she had and it was undeniable the state her panties got wet with just a dream. Natasha went to the living room and watched Steve sleeping in the couch, she closed her eyes and made negative with her head.

Natasha took a glass of water to calm herself. Before returning to the bedroom, she watched Steve one more time and then she returned to the bedroom.

The next day, Natasha woke up before everyone else, she made breakfast and was with more good humor. It was good that she had had the dream, so she can remember that she can’t sleep with him every night and maybe the dreams will help her find the feelings that was lost during the coma.

Steve woke up and looked at her in the kitchen, he was surprised to see her eating, she’s not a breakfast person.

**N: Good morning, soldier.**

**S: Good morning. Did you make the coffee?**

**N: Yes, and I prepared James's backpack and… He's already taking a shower for the school.**

**S: Wow... What’s on you, today? Did you remember anything?**

Natasha shook her head.

**N: Nothing, at all. I'm going to work. I'll see you there.**

**S: There? Are you going to Avengers’ Base today?**

**N: Yes, SHIELD has a joint mission with you today.**

**S: And you don’t want to wait for me?**

**N: No, because you still have to get Sarah ready and you need to leave them at school. See you there. Bye.**

Natasha left the apartment and headed for the Avengers base, she met Hill in the hallway that led to the meeting room.

There were some avengers and some SHIELD agents present, but everyone was waiting for Tony and Steve to arrive to start the reunion.

Tony arrived, already making jokes about everyone, and especially about Natasha's lack of memory.

Bucky entered the meeting room and Natasha watched him. Bucky looked back at her and then he looked away immediately. Natasha never stared at him for more than 2 seconds, but today she wasn’t bothering to make eye contact with him and Bucky didn’t know how to react, because he still feels so much attraction for her but he also has a lot of respect for his best friend.

Steve arrived 10 minutes later, apologizing because the children delayed him.

Hill passed all the data on the mission they would have. She needed the Avengers to stay on guard, not to execute the mission, only if something went wrong, they would come in to avoid further damage to the population and also because they were dealing with new avengers who have no control over their powers yet.

Hill introduced Jessica Jones to the team. Steve received her, greeting her directly. Jessica shook his hand.

Steve sat down next to Hill and Natasha.

Jessica looked at everyone, as if no one there were a big deal, she wasn’t impressed or interested at all.

**S: Hill? Didn’t you say that would be 2 new members?**

**H: Yeah, that one coming in now is the other.**

Natasha and Steve watched Luke Cage enter the room. Natasha was impressed by the size of him, she frowned and Hill was watching Natasha, because she already knew she would react like this.

**H: Luke is Jessica's boyfriend.**

Natasha opened her mouth, shocked, looking at Jessica being so tiny and thin.

Natasha looked at Hill.

**N: Really?**

Hill was holding back her laughter and nodded.

Natasha couldn’t even disguise that she was watching them both, she thought aloud.

**N: My God, he must destroy her.**

Hill laughed and nodded. Steve was listening to everything and he was annoyed that Natasha acted as if he wasn’t there and as if he wasn’t her husband.

Natasha was even biting her lip, looking at Luke and Jessica.

**N: And it must be good. Oh shit.**

**H: Amen to that!**

Hill started to laugh and Natasha along, Steve got up irritably and walked away from them. Natasha watched Steve, she noticed his jealous, but ignored.

The group went out to accomplish the mission and Steve avoided eye contact with Natasha all the time, he even protected her from a shot, using his shield, despite being mad with her, and Natasha didn’t even thank him for saving her.

At the end of the day, Natasha was finishing her bath inside the Avengers Base, she came out of the stall and wrapped herself in the towel, when she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she noticed someone else in the bathroom.

Natasha smirked, sarcastic as usual and she smiled when she realized who it was. She knew he would come at some point, she teased and she irritated him all day for him not come after her.

Natasha doesn’t know why but she feels a great pleasure on making Steve angry, she thinks that he looks hotter when he is mad.

Natasha let the towel that was wrapping her body slid down to the floor. Yes, she made a promise to not have sex with Steve, but what can she do if she is feeling extremely attracted to him?

Natasha looked over her shoulder and stared into Steve’s eyes.

Steve approached her from behind and placed a hand on her belly and he is angry, but that how they were, if they got angry with each other, they ended up having a crazy and rough sex and everything turns better after that. The fact is that Steve loves her so much that can’t stop the desire he feels for her...


	8. I'll Make Her Remember

Only the sound of a sarcastic and pride-filled laugh was what Steve heard as he approached Natasha. His eyes were completely drawn to the nakedness of Natasha's body. He knows she's playing with him, he knows very well that in this game he has everything to lose, but he doesn’t care to bet everything he has.

Steve slid his fingers over the scars on her back, he loves each scar of her and he knows every scar of her body, even the details of each, whether it was a shot, some stab or a blow... He knows her body very well.

Steve tilted his head so that he could admire her body from head to toe, he slides his hands over her arms until he reaches her wrist, then he moves his hands to her hips.

Natasha's body looks like made of iron and Steve's seems to be a magnet, highly attracted to touching and feeling her skin.

The feel of sliding his hands over the skin of her belly was one of the best for Steve, he wrapped his arms around her waist and with a single movement he pulled her body back, causing her body to be  against his.

Now Steve recognized another familiar sound, it was of the air escaping from Natasha's mouth with the movement, he knows the effects on her body, he knows what drives her crazy and she still surprise to get so horny with Steve.

Does she not know that he is the master of giving her pleasure like no one else? Doesn’t she know she shouldn’t imagine herself being with another man? Doesn’t she know that he loves her immensely and that he is crazy about her?

 _She doesn’t know, not anymore and how would she know? She lost her memory. I must make her remember. I'll make her remember._ Steve thought.

Natasha closed her eyes slowly, feeling Steve' hands steadily running down her belly, and he was very confident, he knows what he is doing.

Steve wanted to feel that he was touching her, he had been one year just imagining touching her like that, he wanted to remember that she was his. Steve outlined Natasha's navel and slid his fingers down her navel until he reached the beginning of her intimate part.

Natasha could feel her breasts stiffening and she felt her intimate part throb at the feel of Steve's fingers gently stroking her clit.

Steve used one hand to keep her labium majus away from each other, so that with his other hand he could touch her clit freely, he slid his fingers up and down slowly and very lightly, then he increased the speed and strength in the movement, which made Natasha try to close her legs a little, but Steve pushed her thighs, keeping them open.

**S: Shh...**

Natasha looked over her shoulder at Steve and she tried to put her hand on the wall, to balance herself, her breath began to get a bit out of rhythm as Steve rubbed his hands hard against her clit, the strength he was using it was a bit hurtful and at the same time it increased the pleasure she was feeling. Natasha was totally surprised that Steve knows how to use the right amount of pain against her to trigger even more pleasure in her.

Steve slid his fingers down this time, reaching for Natasha's opening, he could feel she was already very wet, he returned with his fingers to her clit and Natasha was no longer able to lean against the wall, she began to search for support, because her legs were trembling.

Natasha grabbed Rogers's arm, she craved her nails on his skin, trying to control the movement he was making.

Steve decided to give her a small truce and he slowed down a bit, in fact now he was just caressing Natasha's clit, who was trying to catch her breath and trying to recover.

Steve took one hand out of Natasha's intimate part and placed it directly on Natasha's breast, leaving her nipple between his fingers and while he pressed her nipple between his fingers, he started to rub Natasha's clit hard again, this time with circular movements.

Natasha felt the temperature of her body rise, she tried to catch air, but everything that came out of her mouth were moans, which made Steve even more eager to have her.

Steve lightly squeezed Natasha's nipple between his fingers, Natasha bowed forward, and felt a tremendous heat take over her body. Steve put her on her feet again, Natasha was tiptoeing as if she could escape or make anything to control her body now, that she was having some spasms caused by the orgasm she was having. ,

After Steve noticed that she was cuming, he hugged her waist and filled her neck with kisses, but Natasha was still shaking.

**N: Wait… Wh... what... was that?**

Natasha didn’t understand how she reached orgasm so fast, not even when they had sex the other day, she got that, so fast. Steve was proud of himself, but far from finished. He removed Natasha's hair from her neck and bit the area, causing Natasha to shrug.

Steve slid his hands from her waits to her breasts and squeezed it hard, then he turned her body to face him, and he crouched down on the floor and she knew he was about to give some oral pleasure for her. Natasha wasn’t ready to another orgasm, so she placed her hands on his neck and made him get up again.

Steve got up, but his stopped at the height of her breasts, he just placed his lips against her nipple and sucked it very hard, and while that he also used his other hand on her other nipple, squeezing between his fingers.

Natasha moaned in pain and pleasure at the same time, she gripped his hair tightly and she wasn’t sure whether push him away or pull him even more to her body.

Steve released Natasha's nipple, and sucked it again, then released it and then tucked her nipple between his teeth. Natasha wasn’t sounding this time, she was staring at him, trying to breathe, she could feel her inside pulsating with desire again, she brought her own hand to her clit and massaged it, while Steve gave several hickeys on her nipple.

Natasha was in ecstasy, she was stroking her own clit, quickly, and she was just about to cum again, but Steve held her wrist and moved her hand away from her parts. Natasha frowned angrily and took her other free hand back to her intimate part and Steve held her wrist also, and took her arms behind her body and walked with her until he pressed her body against the wall.

Steve kept Natasha's hands behind her body, then he tucked his thigh between Natasha's thighs making her sit on his thigh.

Steve sniffed her neck from the root to the bottom of her ear where he nibbled at the tip of her ear and whispered a bunch of incomprehensible things. Natasha gasped for air, she was completely out of herself.

Steve could feel how wet she was, because his leg was turning honeyed and Natasha started rubbing her parts against his leg, Steve looked her in the eyes and Natasha stared at him, still with a defiant look.

Steve brought his lips to hers, but Natasha bit his lip hard, she hurted him to the point his lip was bleeding, Steve pulled his mouth away and Natasha could set her hands free, she grabbed Steve's cock tightly and he bent over in pain.

Steve bit Natasha's nipple in return, she screamed and grabbed his hair, Steve laughed and lifted her up and walked with her through the bathroom. Steve slid her body down on his, and he finally placed his cock inside her. Steve penetrated her several times, lifting Natasha's body up and down very fast while spreading kisses between her breasts and neck.

Steve didn’t know exactly what position or where he wanted to have her, so he walked nervously around the bathroom with her, leaning her against the box’s showers doors, also against the cold tile in the of the walls and against the lockers...

In fact, as soon as he leaned her back against the lockers, the force with which he threw her there made a huge noise and one of the lockers fell to the floor when Steve walked away from there.

All of their insane love ended up with Natasha sitting on the countertop of the sink, with Steve holding the taps to have more strength and stability to penetrate Natasha fast and harder. Natasha, had already cum about 4 times so far.

Natasha began to feel her body weak, she trembled and felt spasms more and more frequent.

Natasha rested her hands on the countertop, so Steve hugged her body, getting totally immersed in her, catching her on his lap again.

Steve finally kissed her lips. Natasha was not allowing his kisses, but now she can’t deny that to him anymore, and his kiss was so good and so passionate that it was impossible for her to not like it.

Steve lifted her body a little more without taking his lips off hers, he removed her from his cock and turned her body to face the mirror. Natasha looked over her shoulder at him, not believing what he wanted to do, Steve bent her over the countertop and Natasha wasn’t sure if her legs would handle that position. They’ve been in there for hours.

**N: I… I can’t, I can’t...** **I’m weak for that.**

Natasha said, trying to catch her breath.

**S: It's okay.**

Steve was massaging his cock, it was very stiff, he knows the serum helps him to hold for a long time, and her serum helps her to keep up with him, but not every time, specially when he is so horny like that.

Steve used his other hand to slid his fingers through Natasha’s buttocks till her clit. Natasha sighed, she was sure she wouldn’t be able to cum again. She laid her head on the countertop.

**N: No use, Soldier. I’m done, you never gonna make me… you… y-you…** **Oh. Oh my God!**

Said Natasha, disbelieving of Rogers' experience, she finished the sentence screaming, as she felt her inner region pulsate again, she moved her hips in circles over Steve's fingers.

The way Steve touched her was different, it seems he knew exactly how to touch her to make her cum and that's what happened, Natasha was cuming again, she stood up straight, with her body stiff.

While she was cuming, Steve introduced his cock back into her, but this time from behind. Natasha bent over the countertop again, moaning loudly while Steve pumped her, increasing the movements as he felt that Nat was more comfortable with the position. After a while, Steve finally cum too and Natasha came just after him. She crouched on the floor, her legs wasn’t working anymore.

Steve hold her, laying her on his arms, he stood up with her and walked to a bench.

Steve placed her on the bench and he opened her legs a little and stroke her clit.

Natasha closed her legs.

**N: I can’t anymore, seriously, I’m done... I'm sorry.**

**S: I know, I know. It's all right.**

Steve said giving Natasha a kiss and taking her in his arms.

**N: I need another shower, but I don’t think I can stand up now.**

Natasha smiled.

**S: It’s okay, I'll take care of it for you.**

Steve took her to the box shower and set her on her feet to turn on the shower. Natasha leaned over Steve as he washed her hair. Steve stroked her skin as he lathered her.

Steve was stroking her with so much love that Natasha frowned a little and looked at him, Steve had a sweet smile on his face and an immense tenderness in his eyes, staring at her.

 _Oh God._ Natasha thought.

**N: You know it was good, but it was just sex, right?**

**S: Yes.**

Steve consented, but the disappointment in his face made Natasha feel bad about everything. For Steve, it was as if she remembered everything, he thought he had conquered her again, but Natasha had the same cold look in her eyes.

Even if she didn’t love him, or didn’t remember to love him, after making love to him twice, it was for her to feel something at least, some other kind of love, or maybe friendship… but she seems to feel nothing. It was very frustrating the way she acts.

**N: But at least, it was a great, great sex...**

Natasha smirked, raising her eyebrow.

Steve tried to force a smile.

Natasha noticed that he had no moods for jokes now and she couldn’t give him illusions.

**N: I can dry myself. I feel better already. Thank you.**

Steve nodded as Natasha left the box and Steve took his shower.

Natasha got dressed, and went to the sink counter, to fix her hair. She looked in the mirror and she was full of Steve's hickey marks around her neck.

Natasha sighed in frustration that she shouldn’t have let that happen.

**S: Are you ready?**

**N: Yes.**

**S: Do you want me to leave first?**

**N: Why?**

**S: So no one see us and mistrusts what we've done here.**

**N: I don’t care what they think.**

Natasha said putting the brush in her bag, and she headed for the door. Steve followed her and as soon as they left, they noticed there was no one in the hall.

**N: Nobody can judge me for having sex with my husband.**

Steve nodded and glanced at his watch.

**S: My God, the children.**

**N: The nanny didn’t pick them at school?**

**S: Yes, but it's past her hour already.**

Hill entered the hallway and watched Steve and Natasha with wet hair.

Hill was already staring at Natasha, in a way, that made Natasha restrain her laughter and disguise. Steve didn’t notice anything.

**H: Steve, Tony needs you in the meeting room.**

****

**S: What? I can’t now, I need to go home. Can’t Clint go instead of me?**

**H: No, he said it's urgent and he needs you.**

**N: Alright, I'll stay the kids.**

**S: I’ll try not be long.**

**N: I hope not.**

Steve walked over to Natasha and tried to give her a kiss, but he braked himself as Natasha turned her face away to receive a kiss on the cheek. Steve sighed and ran to the meeting room.

Hill crossed her arms, looking at Natasha, a wicked smile on her lips.

**N: What?**

**H: In a public locker room? At the base of the Avengers?**

**N: It happens.**

Natasha shrugged.

**H: It turns out that I had to isolate the bathroom, claiming leak and that was in repair, so all the noise coming from there.**

Natasha couldn’t help herself and laughed.

**N: Really?**

**H: Yes. I was going to use this bathroom, I opened the door and had the worst view of my life and you both didn’t even notice me. He did you very right.**

****

**N: You have no idea.**

**H: I want details.**

**N: You're dreaming... Let me go, because I have children to care for.**

Natasha said, rolling her eyes as she walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate translate the hot scenes, I'm sorry for the bad english.


	9. Christmas' Eve

Natasha drove home, thinking about everything that happened a few hours ago, her body is still sore and exhausted, and if she touched her intimate region now, she would feel it still wet

 _He's good at it, dammit, he's really good._ _What a curse he didn’t seem to be so good at it._ Natasha thought and then she thought about Hill repeating a thousand times to not break his heart, because if she recover all her memories someday, she would never forgive herself for playing with his emotions.

"He's a good man, very boring, like really boring, but with an extremely noble heart" Hill told Natasha in many situations. _How did I fall in love with someone so decent? It’s not my type and I can’t feel anything for him but horny._ She finished the thought as she parked the car.

Natasha walked down the sidewalk to enter the building, and she noticed two small heads in the apartment window, jumping and waving at her. Natasha smiled unknowingly as she walked into the building.

Natasha entered the apartment a few minutes later, she opened the door and the children ran to hug her legs.

**J: Mommy!**

**Sarah: Mamma!**

Natasha was very tired and worried about how things are going to be now and on with Steve. Even if Steve don’t press her over the feelings, it's all very strange and the more she stays near him, the harder it will be for him to resist her.

**N: I forgot your name, sorry...**

**J: Her name is Cindy.**

**N: I'm sorry, Cindy, we had some problems at work.**

**C: No problem, just call me earlier next time. I have class and I missed the first few days. I have to go. See you.**

**N: Cindy wait! Can’t you stay a little longer?**

**C: No, I have class now.**

**Sarah: I'm hungry.**

**J: Me too.**

**N: Cindy... I'll pay double for you to stay.**

**C: I'm sorry, Mrs. Rogers, but today I can        t miss classes, it'll be all right.**

Cindy ruffled James' hair and left the apartment.

Natasha set her bag down, and the children stared at her.

**N: So... What do you want to eat?**

**Sarah: Bottle.**

**N: A Baby bottle? Again with that.**

**J: I want cookies.**

Natasha went to the kitchen and the children followed her there, she went to look at the fridge and the cabinets and there was nothing easy to cook, like to just put in the microwave, there were only things to really cook.

When Natasha turned around, she stared Sarah and James almost glued on her.

**N: Will you be following me around?**

James shrugged, and Sarah smiled.

**Sarah: Bottle!**

**N: You're too big for that!**

**Sarah: Bottle, bottle!**

**N: Stop yelling.**

**J: We are hungry, where is my father?**

**N: He's coming already, can’t you wait for him to get here?**

**Sarah: I want my bottle...**

Now Sarah began to whimper, Natasha widened her eyes. She looked at James.

**N: Do you know how to make a bottle?**

James shook his head.

Sarah started to cry and call for her father.

**J: I'm hungry.**

**N: I've heard! Give me some time, for God’s sake. Sarah stop crying!**

Sarah cried even more, she sat on the floor and began to stretch and shrug her legs.

**N: God!**

**J: You have to calm her down. What are you doing?**

**N: I don’t know.**

**J: Make her stop.**

**N: How do I do this?**

**J: Take her in your lap.**

Natasha ran her hand over the back of her neck and sighed, her body was exhausted, she took three deep breaths to be more patient, she walked over to Sarah and took her in her lap.

**N: James, please, give me the phone.**

James handed the phone to Natasha.

**N: All right…**

Natasha sat Sarah on the counter and walked to the cabinets above the sink to look for bottles.

Sarah was still crying and shaking her legs in protest, and she shook her body so much that she fell from the counter on the floor. She hit the floor with her head, Sarah screamed in pain and the crying became much worse.

Natasha turned around and was desperate because Sarah had a huge cut on her forehead.

Natasha dropped the phone on the counter and picked Sarah up again. She made Sarah lay her head on her shoulder.

**N: Oh my God, calm down. It’s gonna be okay. James?**

James looked at her mother.

**N: Do you have a first aid box here?**

**J: What?**

Natasha closed her eyes and sighed, she went to the bathroom and found the box, she sat Sarah on the toilet.

**N: Sarah... Listen, it was nothing, it's not that bad. It won’t even hurt.**

**J: It's bleeding!**

**N: James! Don’t make things worse.**

**Sarah: I’m bleeding?**

Sarah looked at James.

**N: Hey, Sarah. Focus on me, okay? Look, you need to be very brave now, okay, I'll clean up and everything will be fine. Just stop crying. Your father is going to kill me.**

**Sarah: I want my daddy.**

Sarah grunted.

**N: He's coming home, I hope he is coming soon...**

Natasha wiped Sarah's cut and put a bandage on her forehead, and Sarah didn’t stop crying.

**N: Okay, let's stop it, you want the bottle? Then stop crying!**

Sarah lowered her head and calmed down a bit. Natasha took her in the lap and when she left the bathroom, James was bringing to her a little stuffed pig, he handed it to Sarah, who grabbed the little pig and calmed down even more.

Natasha opened the fridge, picked up the milk box, opened it and handed it to Sarah, who stared at Natasha without understanding.

**N: Come on, didn’t you want a bottle?**

**J: But that's the milk box.**

**N: No, no, that's... a new bottle. Plus size bottle... Specially made for Sarah…**

James and Sarah frowned, but Sarah held the milk box and took it. Natasha found a huge pot of candy on one of the cabinets. She set it down on the counter table and opened it.

James stared at the candy jar.

**N: Weren’t you hungry? Eat.**

James seemed to be waiting for permission, he began to eat one candy after another. Natasha sat down on the couch, exhausted and relieved to have calmed both of them.

Sarah came to the couch and sat on her lap, holding the milk box and drinking of it.

Steve entered the house, also too exhausted and he looked at the scenery.

**J: Dad!**

James didn’t run to hug Steve, because he was eating the candy, he was already in the middle of the pot. Steve looked at him all smeared and Sarah drinking milk straight from the box, Steve scratched his chin.

**S: Why are they eating candy at this hour? Why is Sarah drinking milk straight from the box?**

**N: They were hungry, Sarah wanted the bottle, they kept screaming and talking nonstop on my ear.**

**S: James, enough. You're going to brush those teeth right now. Natasha, he's going to get very agitated with so much candy.**

**N: What did you want me to do? They just remain calm like that.**

Steve looked better at Sarah and he frowned to see the bandage on her head, he came over to examine that bandage.

**S: What happened?**

**N: I... I was...**

**Sarah: I was playing on the couch and I fell, daddy.**

**S: You fell? I’m so sorry, honey, but daddy asked you so many times to not jump on the couch or bed… Are you okay?**

Sarah nodded.

Natasha looked at Sarah and she was surprised at the way Sarah told a lie, Sarah seemed more sincere than herself does when she lies. Natasha was proud of her.

Steve took Sarah in his lap.

**S: No more milk for you too. It's time to go to bed.**

Steve walked with Sarah to the bedroom, she rested her chin on his father's shoulder, and she stared at Natasha.

Sarah smiled at Natasha, who blinked and smiled at her. Sarah waved, saying good-bye, and Steve put her on the bed.

Steve sat on the edge of her bed, he picked up the stuffed pig and put it next to her.

**S: You had fun today, huh?**

Sarah nodded.

**Sarah: My beak.**

**S: Beak? Look, I think Santa this year will think you're still a baby and he won’t bring any dolls for you.**

Steve took her pacifier from the drawer and handed it to her hand.

**S: Are you sure you want that?**

Sarah put the pacifier in her mouth, sighed, and removed the pacifier, handing it to Steve.

**Sarah: Tell Santa I'm already big, okay?**

**S: All right.**

Steve put the pacifier in his pocket and kissed Sarah's forehead.

**S: Good night, princess.**

**Sarah: Nite-nite daddy.**

Steve went to James' room and saw him playing with his cars.

**S: James, it's late.**

**J: I'm not sleepy.**

**S: Because you ate that lot of candy, you know you can’t.**

**J: But my mom gave it to me.**

Steve came into the room and turned on the video game for him.

**S: You can play if you lie in bed.**

James jumped into bed and took the control. Steve knew that in half an hour he would fall asleep. Steve closed the bedroom door and went to the living room.

Natasha was sleeping on the floor, her back against the couch. Steve came over and took her in his lap, careful to not wake her up. He carried her to the bedroom and laid her body on the bed. He stroked her face and looked at the picture on the portrait near the bed.

In the picture, Natasha was sitting on the grass with Sarah in her lap, Sarah was about six months old and James was about 3 years old and he was next to them, crying with a broken sword in his hands. Steve remembers very well that day and he gave a small smile.

Steve looked at Natasha again and he was startled by the fact that she was awake and looking at him. Steve was very embarrassed, Natasha looked at the photo.

**N: You have fond memories of that day.**

Steve nodded.

**N: Tell me about it.**

****

Steve was surprised for Natasha be asking for the story of that photo, he sat on the floor near the bed and Natasha lay on her side, to look at him.

**S: Well... It was very hot that day, James was very agitated, as usual...**

**N: How old was he?**

**S: Three, maybe... Sarah, I think she was with only six months... Since there are no beaches around here, you suggested we go to a forest park.**

**N: **Wait, I suggested?****

**S: Yes. We always went there, James always had a lot of energy and there he could run how much he wanted, without breaking the house. I still have the trailer we used to sleep there.**

**N: Trailer? This is so American Traditional family.**

Natasha laughed, but she wasn’t disdainful.

**N: Why was he crying?**

**S: For many reasons, James cries for nothing, and on that day everything left him emotional. This sword you bought for him, and he broke it by fighting with the tree. He came running in tears, and he wanted you to leave Sarah aside to pay attention to him. I tried to get him, but he didn’t want my attention, he wanted yours...**

**N: Why?**

**S: You're his mother, he's always been crazy about you and Sarah took the place of an only child in your life, it was very difficult for him to accept that, he felt very jealous at first.**

Natasha yawned and smiled.

**S: Well... I'll let you sleep.**

Natasha nodded and watched Steve get up and go to the door.

**N: Good night, soldier.**

Steve looked and smiled at Natasha. It was a quite sad smile.

That was Natasha's phrase for him, every night in bed, but he was sleeping next to her, and she doesn’t remember.

As he left the room, James approached his father in the hallway.

**J: Dad, tomorrow is Christmas.**

**S: Wow, is it?**

**J: Yes. Dad and our tree?**

**S: I forgot, James. We’ll buy one tomorrow.**

**J: No, we have one, let’s set up it now.**

**S: James, Dad is tired.**

**J: Please, Dad.**

Steve sighed and nodded, James was very agitated, he needed to tire him somehow.

Steve took the tree and he and James decorated the whole tree, it was only missing the star, which was a tradition that everyone should be together to place the star.

The next day, Sarah woke up early and went to Natasha's room, she approached the bed and stood watching Natasha sleep.

Of course Natasha noticed that someone was watching her, she raised her eyebrow and opened one eye, she looked at Sarah and sighed, feeling a little annoyed.

Natasha turned away, ignoring her presence. Sarah stood still, looking at her mother.

Natasha opened her eyes again and looked up, trying to find some patience, she turned her head to look at Sarah.

**N: What is it?**

Sarah shook her head.

**N: What do you want? Your father is not in the living room? Go wake him. Go.**

Natasha gestured with her hand toward the door, as if she were blowing a fly away and put her head back on the pillow.

Sarah didn’t move. Natasha took a deep breath and decided to ignore her for real, if she wants something, she must go to upset her father.

After 8 minutes, Natasha waited to hear the sound of Sarah walking to leave, but she wasn’t going anywhere.

Natasha sat on the bed and looked at Sarah.

**N: What do you want? Lost something?**

**Sarah: Nurse.**

**N: Nurse?? You want to nurse?**

Natasha frowned and looked at her breasts, then looked panicked at Sarah.

**N: You mean the bottle, right?**

Sarah nodded and Natasha felt a huge relief. She thought Sarah would want to nurse on her breast.

**N: Your father is in the living room, near the kitchen. Ask him.**

Sarah made negative with her head.

**N: Look if you're hungry, go ask your father, okay? I'm sleeping now.**

Natasha lay down again. This time Sarah moved to the door, but she didn’t leave the room, she sat down on the floor with her stuffed pig.

Natasha stared at her and hit the pillow.

**N: JESUS CHRIST!**

Natasha sat on the bed and ran her hand over the back of her neck, she grunted in anger and removed the blanket. Natasha got up and Sarah stood up, holding out her arms, asking for a lap. Natasha took her in her lap and went to the kitchen, complaining a lot.

**N: Children! It was just what I needed! What type of dark magic this man did to make me have children. I would never, ever...**

Natasha opened the fridge and took out a box of milk, she opened it and before giving it to Sarah, she took a long drink herself. Natasha walked with Sarah into the living room and sat in the armchair with her.

Natasha eventually fell asleep again, just as Sarah, who dropped the box of milk on the floor when she fell asleep.

After an hour, Steve woke up with the image of the two sleeping together in the armchair, he smiled and took the opportunity to take a picture of the two.

**N: What are you doing???**

Steve stood with the camera in his hand, looking at Natasha statically. She seemed to be asleep, that’s why he took the picture.

**S: Oh… I… I thought you were asleep.**

**N: I was, but I wake.**

**S: I'm sorry about that, it’s just… It’s been a long time that I don’t have a picture of you with the kids, so...**

**N: Whatever. What time is it?**

**S: It’s 10am.**

**N: 10??? I need to go to SHIELD. I’m so late.**

**S: No, you don’t have to. Today is day 24.**

Natasha stared at him blankly.

**S: It’s Christmas Eve... It won’t have work at SHIELD.**

**N: At SHIELD? Of course it will. It’s SHIELD.**

**S: Yes, true, but you don’t have to go.**

**N: But I want to go.**

**S: What about the children?**

**N: What do you mean?**

**S: They want their mother around, it’s Christmas, Nat.**

Natasha sighed and threw her head back.

James left his bedroom, scratching his eye and walked to Steve. James grabbed Steve's leg and Steve picked him in his lap.

**J: Let's put the star on the tree now?**

Steve stared at Natasha.

**S: You always put the star on the tree and turned on the flasher. Could you at least do that before you leave to work?**

Natasha wasn’t believing what she was hearing. She never cared about Christmas, when she was off duty, she and Hill used to go to a bar and drink all night.

Natasha thought of making up an excuse, but James's face was so cherished that Natasha couldn’t deny it.

**N: Okay. I’ll do it.**

Sarah woke when Natasha stood up. Natasha was going to put her on the couch, but Sarah grabbed Natasha's neck and spread her legs to remain on her lap.

**N: My God, this girl! Okay, give me the star.**

James stepped down from Steve's lap and handed the star to Natasha.

Steve put James on his shoulder as Natasha handed the star to Sarah.

Natasha lifted Sarah to the top of the tree and she put the star on top. Sarah was all smiling and clapping her hands.

**N: Now let's turn on the flasher.**

Natasha crouched behind the tree and turned on the flasher, the tree was a little crooked, but it looked beautiful. Natasha looked at the expression on James and Sarah's face, the two of them were delighted with the tree.

 _Okay, I would do that again to see those smiles_. Natasha thought and smiled a little.

**N: Ready? Now I'm going to take a shower and leave.**

**J: But it's Christmas!**

**N: Don’t give me those looks, James, just don’t, your father is here.**

**J: But what about my present?**

**S: I'm sure Santa Claus won’t forget you, James.**

Natasha showered and headed to SHIELD which was very empty, by the way. Hill was there and at the end of the day, Natasha asked if she would want to go to the bar like the old days.

**H: Don’t you have a family to be with on Christmas?**

**N: Oh, Hill. You know I can’t do these things, you know that.**

**H: What I know is that you loved Christmas with your kids. And I can’t go to a bar, I have something.**

**N: Wow, you're a pain in the ass now! Where is your thing tonight? Can I go?**

**H: Sure you can go, it’s in your house. Rogers invited me to Christmas there.**

**N: What?**

**H: Let's go? We're late, but let's go to the mall first, to buy gifts for them, because I know you didn’t buy anything.**

Natasha snorted and followed Hill to the mall, upon arriving home, some guests had already arrived. Sam, Carol Danvers, Tony and Pepper.

Sarah saw her mother come in with bags of presents and ran to her.

**Sarah: Mamma! Are those for me???**

**N: It wasn’t for you to have seen now, but since you're here...**

Natasha handed Sarah her present, James came running shortly after and Natasha handed him his too.

Steve was putting a tray of appetizers on the table for the guests and smiled at Natasha.

The bell rang, Natasha opened the door and Thor was dressed formally, accompanied by Jane. Natasha looked at the curly-haired, blond-haired child in Thor's lap.

**Thor: Hello, mortal. Merry Christmas!**

**Jane: Nice to see you, Natasha.**

Natasha doesn’t know who Jane is, but it's obvious she and Thor are a couple, she allowed them to come in.

**Thor: I finally brought my daughter to meet you.**

Thor came in and set the girl on the floor. James peered at her from behind his father's legs.

**Jane: Thor, she must not remind me.**

**Thor: Oh yeah, the head thing! Natasha, this is Jane, my wife and this is Torunn. Our daughter.**

Everyone present smiled at Torunn and praised her beauty. Torunn was holding her father's hand and frowned at the sight of James hidden, but peering at her. Torunn smiled and waved, but James stuck his face into Steve's legs.

**S: James, you're going to knock me down. What is going on?**

James said nothing.

The last guest rang the bell. Natasha answered the door and she and the guest froze when they saw each other. Sam was walking by and saw his friend at the door and pulled him inside, since he seemed to be hypnotized.

**Sam: Bucky! My pal! Come in, come in!**

Bucky came in, but he still looked at Natasha once again, and Natasha couldn’t stop looking at him. Sam led Bucky to greet Carol Danvers, while Steve watched Natasha’s reaction to Bucky Barnes.


	10. We Can Try

Natasha decided to stay away from both Bucky and Steve, for the rest of the night, to not create any problems, especially being Christmas Eve and having her children in there. Maria Hill, who is her closest friend and almost her boss at work, said about not hurting Steve’s feelings. Hill mentioned it just two or three times, but for Natasha it’s like she had said 100 times, so she kept that in mind, almost if it was a mission.

Natasha stayed close to Hill and later, Pepper and Jane joined them to talk. Hill was having a Martini and she couldn’t look away from both Sam and Bucky.

**N: Wow, Hill. When you’re drunk you can’t disguise when you’re flirting.**

**H: I'm not disguising, I’m making a request for Santa.**

**N: God... With Sam or Bucky?**

**H: Both, I guess.**

**N: You’re such a slut.**

Hill took the drink by the straw, smiling, and the others laughed. Hill looked at Jane.

**H: And so… Jane... Thor huh?**

Jane blushed because Hill’s tone indicated sarcasm.

**H: Tell us...**

**Jane: Oh I have nothing to say.**

**N: Nothing? With a man of that size... C’mon!**

**H: Yeah, c’mon. Share the details.**

**Jane: Would you say about Steve, Natasha?**

**N: Depends about what you wanna know.**

Natasha smirked and raised one eyebrow.

Jane was extremely red and she could only smile.

**H: So, you, Pepper... Tell... Is Tony good on bed?**

**Sarah: Good on bed? I’m too, I like to sleep a lot.**

They all looked down at Sarah, who was standing next to her mother and she is so discreet, that not even Natasha noticed when she approached them.

**Sarah: What?**

**Pepper: Oh... Nothing, darling.**

**Jane: You're so big now, Sarah. And you’re very beautiful, you look so much like your mother.**

Sarah smiled.

**N: Sarah, go play with the other kids, go.**

Sarah shook her head and extended her arms to Natasha, Natasha automatically picked her up in her lap, even though she was snorting with rage.

**N: How did I choose this life? Somebody tell me please! She just wants to be close to me, like all the time!**

**Pepper: That means she loves you.**

Pepper squeezed Sarah's cheeks.

James came running to Natasha and hid behind her. Natasha looked at Hill.

**N: See? It’s like that, everyday...**

**Jane: They love you, Nat.**

Hill laughed and watched Torunn come chasing after James.

**Torunn: Let's play!**

James didn’t respond and tried to hide behind Natasha.

**N: Go play with her, James.**

**Torunn: You don’t to play with me? Fine! So I'm going to play with Sarah. Come on, Sarah.**

Sarah came down from Natasha’s lap and took Torunn to play with dolls in her bedroom. After a while, James ended up joining them.

The night was peaceful and Natasha even had fun, they all dinned together and toasted when it was midnight and then the guests went home.

Steve was cleaning up the living room so he could sleep there, and while that Natasha checked to see if the kids were asleep. Sarah was, Natasha gave a small smile, watching her sleep. Then, Natasha went to James' room, who was awake, trying to open the box, that contained his new bike, that his father gave to him.

**N: Shouldn’t you be sleeping?**

**J: I'll be in one minute.**

Natasha entered James's room and he ran to the bed, he lay down and Natasha covered him and sat on the edge of the bed, watching him.

**J: Mom?**

**N: Yes?**

**J: Can you teach me how to ride a bike tomorrow?**

**N: Don’t you know?**

James shook his head.

**N: I have to tell you a secret... I don’t know either.**

James's mouth fell open.

**J: That can’t be true!**

Natasha smiled.

**J: My father is going to teach us, then.**

**N: I bet he will... Now go to sleep.**

Natasha left the room, and when she reached the hallway, Steve was in the living room, holding a present in his hands.

Natasha looked at him blankly.

**S: It's for you.**

_Dammit! I didn’t buy him anything, Hill didn’t say to buy. Oh my God, what now?_ Natasha thought as she approached to get her present.

**N: You didn’t need to buy me anything.**

**S: Yes, I needed.**

**N: I... I didn’t buy you anything...**

**S: I'm not giving this to you, in order to get another back.**

Natasha looked at him and smiled as she opened the box.

It was a gold necklace with an emerald.

**S: I always said to you that your eyes reminded me of this stone.**

**N: Are you flirting with me? This is a very, very cheap way of flirting, even for an old soldier like you.**

Natasha joked and smiled.

Natasha handed him the necklace and turned her back to Steve, so he could put the necklace on her.

Natasha lifted her hair and Steve placed the necklace on her neck. Steve was watching Natasha's speckles on the back of her neck. His will now was to kiss each of them, but he restrained himself.

Natasha let go of her hair and turned to Steve again, making a playful pose.

**N: How does it look on me?**

**S: It's... Very stunning.**

Natasha smiled and touched her hand to Steve's shoulder, she stood on tiptoe to reach his face and she kissed his cheek, close to Steve's lips. The kiss took longer than expected, as she pushed her lips away, Steve moved his head, taking her lips back, but with his mouth. He couldn’t resist anymore.

In fact, that Natasha kiss on the cheek was the first affection she'd made in him, after she'd returned from the coma, she hasn’t still hugged him or kissed him with passion, just with desire but she was too close for Steve to resist the temptation of her mouth, they kissed intensely and Natasha didn’t interrupt the kiss this time, even knowing it was a kiss of love, she allowed him to take the time he needed. After a while, she even regretted it, because he seemed insatiable of her lips.

 _He really loves me_. Natasha thought as she tried to catch her breath when Steve made a break, and Natasha didn’t notice they were both already in their bedroom, she didn’t notice she was being move to there.

Steve was very gentle with his kisses, he kissed her passionately. He laid her down on the bed and they made love all night and it wasn’t just rough sex, it was love.

The next morning, Natasha was the first to wake up. She opened her eyes and looked at the bedroom, then she felt a weight on her belly and it was Rogers's arm. Natasha watched him sleep. He looked calm, he seemed to be where he wanted to be.

 _I wish I could feel the same way as you_. Natasha thought, watching the gorgeous face of Steve Rogers.

Natasha sighed as the thoughts flooded into her mind, about Steve being a good guy. Hill's words pounding again and again in her mind.

 _I shouldn’t be doing this. I don’t feel anything for you, I mean I feel kindness in you and a lot of honesty. I don’t want to hurt you. I should leave, I should go away but I don’t know if that would make good or bad for you or the children._ Natasha sighed between the sighs.

_The children… they’re so beautiful, I think I like them a little. Yeah, I do like them and they don’t deserve someone cold like me around them. Not even you, Steve. I never took so long to make a decision before, especially when I know I want to leave. What is making me giving up? I don’t love you, I should leave, but I can’t. And if I can’t go, it’s because some feeling that is hidden at the moment, is keeping me here, right? Maybe I can remember everything if I accept you and the children. Maybe I should try to explore this relationship and maybe I'll regain my memory and my love for you._

Natasha was going to continue her reflection, but Rogers was awakening, yawning and grabbing her belly, to make sure she was still there in bed with him. Before he opened his eyes, he smiled at feeling her presence.

**N: Good morning, soldier.**

Steve finally opened his eyes, he stared into those immense green eyes and it was like falling in love with her for the first time all over again. Every time, it seemed like it was the first time, there was no way, it wouldn’t be intense the way he looked at her. He's totally crazy about her.

Steve didn’t answer, his gaze answered by itself. It was so sweet, that Natasha could feel what he was feeling now, so strong it makes her feel bad.

Natasha looked away, to any spot in the room. Steve noticed her discomfort and for he, she was already regretting the night they had as she regretted the other times. He was being an intruder, he must leave her alone.

**S: I'll... I'll leave you alone.**

Steve removed his hand from her body and sat up on the bed, ready to get up, but Natasha looked back at him and grabbed his arm.

**N: No...**

Steve looked at her in surprise.

**N: Stay.**

Steve frowned a little confused, but obeyed and lay down again, he looked at her with some hope.

**S: You...**

**N: No. I didn’t remember anything.**

The disappointment was evident in his face.

Natasha laid the back of her hand on Steve's face and gently stroked his cheek.

**N: I don’t remember, Steve, but I want to remember. I want to try.**

****

Steve smiled, resting his arm on Natasha's waist.

**S: We should try then. Together.**

**N: Yes, we can try.**

Steve put his lips to hers, and his tongue stroked Natasha's, intensely. Natasha put both hands on Steve's face as he moved to stand on top of her. They made love one more time that morning. They were both going to fall asleep, but there was a knock on the door.

Natasha covered herself immediately and shoved Steve aside, also covering him in a matter of seconds, because the doorknob was already being turned.

James appeared at the door, looking confused at both of them.

**J: Mom? Dad?**

**S: Hey James.**

**J: What are you doing?**

**N: Nothing.**

**S: We were just sleeping... What is it, champ? Are you hungry already?**

**J: No, I want to ride a bike, you have to teach me.**

**S: That's true. Okay, just wait half an hour, okay?**

**J: Okay.**

James didn’t move to leave the bedroom.

Steve and Natasha looked at each other, because they’re both naked, they can’t get up with him inside the room.

**N: James, can you check if Sarah's already up?**

James nodded and left the room. Steve went to the door and locked it. Natasha went to the bathroom door and she was completely naked.

**N: Half an hour? We could still use ten...**

Steve smiled at her, already understanding what she meant. They both went into the shower and of course they had a quickie in the tub.

After they got ready, they left the bedroom and James was in the hallway, watching the two of them with his arms crossed.

**J: Sarah is sleeping and you locked me out!**

**N: Did we? Did we lock him out? Steve, did you lock him?**

**S: No, I did not.**

**N: How weird! Isn’t it? Anyway, Is Sarah sleeping yet? It's almost noon.**

Natasha entered Sarah's room and shook her lightly. Sarah woke up grunting.

**N: But how lazy you are today, young lady.**

**Sarah: I want to take a nap!**

Sarah turned aside and covered herself more. Steve came into the bedroom and watched her.

**S: Well, I think you want a tickle attack.**

Sarah opened her eyes instantly and jumped out of bed.

**N: So that's how you wake up?**

**J: Dad, come on!**

**S: Calm down, James, I still have to build the bike and make breakfast.**

**N: I build and you make coffee.**

**Sarah: I build it too, mama.**

Natasha held out her hand to Sarah and James and the three of them went to James's room, to build the bike.

Natasha did it very fast. She understands very much about mechanic, it was no problem for her at all.

**Sarah: I also want a bike. Can I have one?**

**S: You are very small for a bike, princess.**

Steve said from the bedroom door.

**S: The breakfast is ready.**

They all followed Steve and sat down at the dinner table to eat.

**N: She's not that small. There’s bike for her size.**

**Sarah: I can. Yes, I can. I want a pink bike with a little basket and flowers and cats. Or puppies!**

**S: But how will you reach the pedals being as short as your mother is.**

Natasha looked at Steve with narrowed eyes, and she opened her mouth in shock. Steve was enjoying her face.

**S: You know that your mother can’t ride a bike because she's too short for that.**

Natasha took a napkin and threw it at Steve.

**N: Shut up! Your father doesn’t know anything, I may be short, but I can do everything I want.**

Sarah was smiling, proud of her mother.

**Sarah: She can do it, she is a girl! Girls are the boss!**

**N: Yes, we are, Sarah. We can do anything.**

**S: Anything except bike riding...**

**N: Steve!**

**S: Natasha!**

The two of them pretended to be angry with each other and then began to laugh.

James couldn’t even speak, with so much cereal in his mouth and he was more than happy to see his parents finally getting along, it’s like it was before Natasha's coma. James is really happy.

Natasha and Steve both stopped laughing, but kept the smile on their lips as they looked into each other's eyes.


	11. We Need to Talk

Then, after so much insistence and looks of abandoned puppy, James convinced Natasha to go to Central park, along with his father and sister Sarah to learn to ride a bike. Steve took his and Natasha's bike, though she had never used it.

**J: Wait! Mom is not wearing a helmet and gloves, why do I have to wear it?**

**N: Because if you fall and get hurt, you will cry.**

**J: And you won’t?**

Natasha just stared at him, waiting for him to realize by himself the answer alone and he understood her point.

**S: Okay, are you ready?**

Steve was holding James's bike on the handlebars and bench.

**S: You're going to start pedaling and I'll be holding you here.**

**J: Okay, but don’t let go, dad.**

**S: All right. Let's ride to where your mother and Sarah are, okay? It’s a short way.**

**J: Okay! Let’s do this!**

Steve laughed and started to push James's bike, while he pedaled normally, Steve didn’t really let go of the bike, they got to where Natasha was and made a turn to go back where they were before.

**S: You did great, James! Let's go one more time, but let's go further, to have more space for you to pedal.**

James agreed and Steve helped James to go more far this time and this time Steve held his bike just halfway, then he let go and James was doing well, but he noticed that his father was behind him.

**J: DAD!**

James got worried, so he was looking back and he ended up falling from the bike.

**N: You were so close, James. You can’t allow yourself to be distracted. Keep focus. Come on.**

**J: Dad, hold me!**

**N: You rode all this alone. You can do it.**

**J: Did I?**

**N: Yes! Come on. Go!**

James lifted and removed the dirt from his clothes and rode the bike again, it took some time for him to keep his balance on the bike by himself, but he managed to pedal.

**J: I did it! I DID IT! DAD! ARE YOU SEEING?**

**S: YES, JAMES! GOOD JOB!**

**N: That’s it, now turn back and go back to your father.**

James made the turn and rode to Steve.

**J: Dad, I got it, I'm riding a bike!**

**S: I see, champ! I knew you could do it.**

James didn’t want to stop riding, he kept riding in circles for a long time.

Steve went to Sarah and Natasha.

**S: Your turn.**

Natasha frowned at him.

**N: Better leave for another day, look how happy he is.**

**S: You said you were going to learn too.**

**Sarah: Go, Mamma.**

**S: It's okay to be scared...**

Natasha got offended.

**N: I'm not scared! Alright, let's do this.**

**S: Sarah, you sit here and do not talk to strangers. We’ll be right there.**

Sarah nodded.

Natasha took the bike and took it to the track, Steve was holding the bike to her on the other side.

**N: I can climb alone.**

Steve took his hands off the bike and raised his hands in the air, in surrender.

James realized that his mother was going to try it as well and rode to the bench where Sarah was sitting to watch. Natasha got on the bike and looked at Steve.

**N: I don’t know how to do this.**

**S: Just put your feet on the pedals and move them.**

**N: Ok, but hold it.**

**S: You said you could climb alone.**

**N: Go up, but not ride. Hold it already!**

Steve laughed and grabbed the bike.

Natasha took a deep breath and looked into Steve's eyes.

**N: Don’t let go of me.**

**S: Never.**

There was a tone of love in the way Steve answered, he was with a sweet smile on his face, while looking at Natasha.

**N: If you fool me, you're a dead man.**

**S: Okay...**

Steve was still laughing, Natasha started to pedal, with the support of her children in the background.

**Sarah: Go Mamma!**

**J: You can do it, Mom!**

Natasha couldn’t help but laugh at all this. She was feeling so stupid, but at the same time she was having so much fun.

Natasha decided to get her feet off the pedals, because Steve was carrying the bike anyway.

**S: You have to pedal, Natasha.**

**N: But that's more fun.**

**S: That's not how it works.**

**N: Okayyyy.**

Natasha pedaled again and she decided to test Steve, she started to pedal faster and make Steve run with her, when she noticed that he could follow, she pedaled faster.

**S: Natasha! I'll let you go.**

**N: No, you promised.**

**S: Go slower then.**

**N: I'm just testing the bike...**

**S: Or testing me?**

Natasha smirked.

While the two of them talked, they didn’t notice the way they were doing, they ended up going against a pole, Natasha screamed as she hit the pole, the two of them went to the floor along with the bike. Natasha ended up falling over Steve. She rested her hands on his chest, and Steve hugged her to protect her during the fall.

**S: Are you okay?**

**N: How did you let me fall?**

**S: I did?**

**N: You distracted me and made me fall.**

**S: You who didn’t stop talking and riding like if you’re the Flash.**

**N: It was for you to be protecting me from falls.**

**S: You didn’t even hurt yourself.**

**N: You don’t know that!**

**S: Who gets hurt does not keep arguing like that.**

**N: Well, I'm different.**

**S: So are you hurt?**

**N: No!**

**S: And why are you complaining???**

**N: Because you didn’t hold me!**

**S: I'm holding you so far!**

Natasha noticed at the position of theirs bodies and she held to not laugh.

**S: Why do you have to be like this?**

**N: Like what?**

****

Natasha shrugged and smiled, Steve was angry at the argument and looked at her seriously. Natasha continued to smile and she moved her body higher, making a point of brushing her body completely over Steve's body. She had her face at the same height as his, Steve knew what she was doing, trying to soften him with seduction.

**N: Like this?**

Steve looked away because he knew that if he looked her in the eyes, he wouldn’t resist for long. Natasha noticed and let out a short laugh, she leaned her face against Steve's neck and kissed lightly on the middle of Steve's neck.

Natasha looked at his arm and she could see that he was shivering, but he still wasn’t looking at her. Natasha decided then to spread more kisses down Steve's neck until reach his chin, where she stopped to bite and make him look into her eyes. And she got the attention she wanted, Steve was froze looking at her seriously, but she moved her face enough to reach his lips and start a kiss.

The way they kissed mixed up the anger that Steve was, the desire they both were, plus the teasing that Natasha likes to make. But they had to interrupt when a park guard began to cough near them. Natasha let go of Steve's mouth and looked up to stare at the guard.

**\- I'm sorry to interrupt, but this is a place with lots of kids.**

**N: What?**

Steve shoved Natasha so he could stand up and face the guard.

**S: I'm so sorry, it won’t happen again.**

**N: We were just kissing. What's wrong with that?**

**\- You were making out on the floor, kissing and about to...**

**S: I'm sorry, she had fallen on me, it wasn’t intentional, we weren’t going to do anything.**

Steve lifted the bike and helped Natasha to stand.

Natasha was mad but the guard was right, he might even have arrested the two for this kind of stuff, they didn’t notice the way they were kissing and stroking themselves on the ground, but anyone outside would be shocked.

**\- All right!**

The guard left.

**N: I want to try again.**

Steve looked at her confused and shocked, he thought she was referring to the making out thing.

**N: The bike...**

**S: Oh!**

**N: You pervert.**

Steve laughed, a little flushed. Natasha rode on the bike and Steve held her, she rode up halfway with Steve's help.

**N: Let go.**

**S: Sure?**

**N: LET GO!**

Steve let go and Natasha continued to pedal, she went in the direction where the children were. Sarah got up on the bench and started jumping at the sight of her mother riding the bike alone, James pedaled to her and then followed her.

**Sarah: Mamma take me.**

Steve came running behind them.

**S: You're coming with me, Sarah.**

Steve grabbed his bike, which already had a little pushchair in front to carry children. He put the helmet on Sarah and set her on the seat. Steve pedaled fast to reach James and Natasha. They spent a lot of time cycling and then they went home.

…

After the New Year and another week, Natasha was living well with Steve and the kids, until Natasha was sent on a 5-day mission to London.

At the end of the mission, Hill and Natasha did the usual ritual, they went to the bar to drink to relieve the tensions of the mission. They were laughing, remembering missions and past situations.

Natasha leaned back in her chair and sighed.

**H: What?**

**N: Nothing.**

**H: Natasha... I know you.**

**N: Is it too bad that in the last few days, I've felt free?**

**H: Free? Do you feel trapped when you're with Steve and the kids?**

Natasha nodded.

**N: I hadn’t noticed until I went away. These days here on mission, sleeping alone, made me feel like myself again.**

**H: It's normal, because it's the life you remember having.**

**N: Steve is really a good person, you know? He is a great father...**

**H: But?**

**N: But... that's all. I feel like I have to please him all the time, just like the kids. I don’t feel anything.**

**H: Anything? After all this weeks?**

**N: Besides my wet vagina, no, nothing.**

Hill and Natasha started laughing.

**N: It's not thaaat bad, but having to warn him where I am, what time I'm going to get home, explaining why I was late, not being able to talk what I want when I want to in my own house and I have to control myself all the time to not hurt him or the children is like driving me crazy. I don’t know if I can keep this theater for long. It’s not even a job, that I know it will end soon, this is for life.**

**H: Stop pretending, just be who you are. Steve is very understanding, he must have noticed that. Why don’t you talk to him?**

**N: Yes, he's understanding and that's what makes me feel so fucking bad with myself. I feel like shit for not loving him back.**

**H: Why don’t you get an apartment for you?**

**N: The doctor said to stay close.**

**H: Go back to work with the Avengers then, spend time with him and the kids, but don’t force yourself to live with anyone. It won’t do you any good.**

**N: I don’t know... Maybe I will. I think I should try a little more.**

Natasha tried indeed, when she returned from the mission, she was received by the children with the greatest joy, they were missing her very much, just like Steve.

As the days went on, Natasha’s patience was also running out, she started to get irritated with the smallest things in the house and everything was reason for her to leave and stay the night away. And it was all right for Steve while the fight was aimed only at him, but she became impatient and aggressive with the kids too and that’s something Steve does not tolerate.

Steve needed to have a serious conversation with Natasha, he left the kids at Sam's house and went home, as soon as he walked into the apartment, Natasha was ready to leave.

**S: Are you leaving?**

**N: What do you think??**

**S: We need to talk.**

**N: I said I'm leaving.**

**S: We'll talk right now.**

**N: Steve, I don’t want to fight.**

**S: Neither do I. That's why we need to talk.**

Natasha sighed and scratched her forehead. She went to the couch and sat down, looking at Steve without patience.

**S: I want to understand what's going on. You changed.**

Natasha rolled her eyes.

**S: See? We barely talk and you get impatient.**

**N: Because you don’t give me a break! All the time you want something from me and when I don’t want to do it, you get that look like I'm committing an atrocity.**

**S: That's not true.**

**N: It is!**

**S: That's how you feel, but it's not true, you barely have spent time with us. I don’t understand, you were so willing to try and we were getting along, we were fine.**

**N: Who were fine?**

Steve lost his voice.

**N: You were fine and you’re right, I've been avoiding be at home to not fight.**

**S: We end up fighting in the same way. And the children are watching all this. This doing harm to them.**

**N: Am I doing harm to them?**

**S: That’s not what I said, I mean our fights are doing them harm.**

**N: What do you want me to do? I'm trying! But it doesn’t seem to be enough.**

Steve sat in the armchair facing Natasha, sighing and running a hand over his chin, not knowing exactly what to say.

**N: I'm not the person you married, anymore. Steve, I'm not their mother. I'm sorry, but I can’t fake something just to please you, that's what I do for work, and it's like I got home and I’m still working.**

**S: Is that how you feel?**

Natasha took a deep breath and nodded.

 **S: I didn’t know that, I thought when you said you were going to try,** **that we were fine, you seemed happy.**

**N: I'm a spy. I can put any face I want to make anyone believe something.**

**S: I know that, I think I noticed, but I didn’t want it to end again. The last thing I want is for you to feel forced or bad in your house. I'll go back to sleep in the living room if you need space.**

**N: Steve, it’s not just that. This is not going to work. I’m sorry.**

**S: Do you want to move from here?**

Natasha was silent, thoughtful. She sighed.

**N: I think it's the best. For the children and for you. You were fine without me here.**

**S: No, we weren’t, Natasha. You have no idea how it was without you.**

**N: Do you want to keep fighting every day?**

**S: No.**

**N: So, it's better this way.**

**S: The children will miss you so much.**

**N: They can see me, this is not a problem. I’m still trying, Steve. Maybe a time away will help us improve with each other. I really need to go, I'm staying with Hill today and tomorrow I'll pick up my things. I’m really sorry.**

Natasha got up and she was about to walk to the door, Steve hold her fingers in reflex, he was desperate, he does not want to let her go, he wanted to beg for her to stay, he loves her, but he can’t do that.

Natasha stopped and looked at him. Steve didn’t look her in the eye, but his thoughts were screaming for her to not leave them, but deep down he knew that her presence in the house was hurting their children too much and he doesn’t want to see Natasha unhappy.

Natasha sighed and released Steve's hand, she laid her hand on his cheek and kissed his cheek gently.

**N: Goodbye, Rogers.**

****


	12. New Life

**N: So what do we have to do tonight?**

**H: Drink? Get laid? Maybe both if we’re lucky.**

Hill said, laughing at Natasha as she took her bag to leave the apartment.

**H: Are you sure you want to hang out?**

**N: Hill, for God’s sake. Yeah! I'm free now. Stop asking me that.**

**H: You asked for the divorce?**

**N: No, but... I didn’t even think about that, but we're not together anymore, I told you.**

**H: Oh, but did you make this very clear for him, right?**

**N: Not, exactly.**

****

**H: Natasha...**

**N: Oh my God, Hill, since when do you care?**

**H: I don’t care, but the Natasha who changed a lot for Steve Rogers,** **wouldn’t do that.**

**N: Well, I'm not that Natasha. And people don’t change. Let's go.**

Natasha walked out of the building.

**H: But you've changed.**

Hill whispered to herself while following Natasha.

They arrived in one of the crowded bars in the neighborhood.

**N: Well...**

**H: Hm...**

**N: Yep.**

They were both feeling weird when they saw the people inside the bar, most of them were women, and the men were quite normal. Most of them started to checking them up and down as soon as they entered the place.

**H: Okay, we go straight to the bar and we'll drink until everyone here looks like Thor.**

Natasha agreed and she and Hill went to the bar, and when they were about to order 2 drinks, the waiter served two margueritas for them.

**H: We didn’t ask for that.**

**\- That's courtesy from those guys over there.**

Hill and Natasha looked at the two guys. One of them was blond with brown eyes and the other was brunette with brown eyes. They both smiled at them.

Natasha and Hill looked at each other and raised their eyebrows and they made negative with theirs heads.

**N: No.**

**H: No.**

**N: No. Very early yet for that...**

**H: Yes, very early. We just arrived, but let’s not waste the drinks.**

**N: That would be a crime.**

They kept the drinks, but they didn’t sit with the guys.

After finishing those drinks, they asked for 2 more and they were just chatting about random things.

**N: So that's why I haven’t seen Fury so far?**

**H: Yes.**

**N: He cried when I got hurt?**

**H: Not exactly, but he got very emotional about your accident. We worked doubled and he practically babysat me and the agents closest to him.**

**N: Good to know that Fury has feelings, after all.**

**H: He loves you. Wait a minute, I'm going to the bathroom.**

Hill jumped off the bench and walked to the bathroom. On the way to the bathroom, there were pool tables and billiards, full of men playing, as soon as Hill passed, they whistled and flirted with her, which didn’t bother her at all, the problem was when one of them who was drunk decided to slap her butt.

Natasha watched the scene.

**N: Oh, oh…**

Natasha took a sip from the glass.

Hill stopped for a minute and didn’t move her head. She sighed, and walked into the bathroom, while the idiot's friends greeted him by the stupid action.

While Hill was in the bathroom, one of the men who had offered them drink earlier, approached Natasha.

**\- Good night.**

Natasha looked at the man and raised one eyebrow, completely serious and showing disinterest. Natasha averted her gaze and looked forward, taking another sip of the drink.

**\- I just want you to know that I noticed you.**

**N: You're not the only one, believe me.**

**\- I’m sure of that. It would be impossible to not look at a woman like you.**

**N: Like me?**

**\- Yes, you’re beautiful.**

**N: Beautiful?**

The guy nodded.

**N: Just beautiful?**

**\- Hm... You look smart.**

Natasha rolled her eyes and faced the man again.

**N: Really? And you say that based on the looks you gave to my tits or to my ass? Do you think I'm beautiful or hot?**

**\- I think you're both.**

Natasha laughed and the guy laughed along.

**\- Why don’t you and your friend join us at the table?**

**N: I'll think about it.**

The guy blinked and returned to his table, while Hill left the bathroom and decided to do exactly the same way as before and the same man who slapped her ass, stopped in front of her.

**\- You liked me, didn’t you? You look like someone who likes to take a beating...**

Hill glared at him and smiled wickedly, she grabbed the collar of his clothes and threw him against the pool table, then she took beer from one of the players' hands, broke at the table and pressed the sharp part into the balls of the guy, who began to sweat cold and look scared to Hill.

**H: Did I say, by any chance, that you could touch me?**

The guy shook his head.

**H: I could just, let the women of this city feeling safer now if I cut your balls off...**

Hill stuck the balls of the guy with the broken bottle, the guy closed his eyes and bit his lip, almost crying.

**H: And you're quite right, I do like to take a good beating, from a real man in bed, but not with a pussy like you. You wouldn’t be able to handle me.**

Hill dropped the bottle and let go of the man and she went back to where Natasha was.

**N: Well, you managed to stay 45 minutes without getting into a fight in a bar, I'm surprised. It’s a record!**

**H: It was just self-defense. Let’s order one more drink.**

**N: Actually, those guys invited us to sit with them.**

**H: Again?**

**N: They’re not ugly.**

Hill looked at them, clearly analyzing them.

**H: Yeah, they’re not, but the brunette is mine.**

**N: As usual...**

Natasha and Hill got up and went to the men's table. They talked and drank with them for hours.

Natasha looked at the clock and at the bar door.

**\- Are you waiting for someone?**

The blond man asked Natasha.

Natasha shook her head, then she seemed like she has took a fright. Hill looked at her worriedly.

**H: What?**

**N: Did you hear that?**

**H: What?**

**N: It looks like someone is crying, a child crying.**

Hill and the other two guys stared at Natasha, confused.

**H: I think she had too much drink.**

Everyone started to laugh.

**\- Well, if you want, I can take you home.**

**N: For mine or yours?**

**\- Mine, if you allow me.**

Natasha laughed and took another sip of the drink. She got up and the guy remained sit. The guy was kinda shocked, looking at Natasha, not believing this was going to happen.

**N: Will you take me or not?**

The guy stood up right away, and he was a bit scared now, because he didn’t expect her to accept and she seems to be very intimidating.

**N: But we will go to my home.**

**H: Hey, you have no home. You have just my home now.**

**N: That's right. Keys.**

Natasha held out her hand to Hill. Hill stood up.

**H: And if I want to go to my apartment, accompanied by this handsome gentleman here?**

**N: So, I think we're going to a motel.**

**H: Good idea.**

Hill pulled her partner by the collar and practically dragged him out of the bar.

**\- So...**

**N: You have to pay the bill, Jon.**

**\- Right, right... Of course, and... My name is Billy.**

**N: Ok, Brian...**

**\- It's Billy... Never mind.**

Billy opened his wallet and took out a bundle of bills and set it down on the table. He led Natasha to the sidewalk, he called a cab, and as they entered, there was an awkward silence inside the car.

Natasha looked at him and he looked away. Natasha noticed that his hands were shaking and he moved his legs nervously.

**N: Is this your first time?**

**B: Huh? No, I've had sex with a lot of women.**

**N: Is this your first time with a woman like me?**

**B: No, I've dated pretty women like you too, but you have something that...**

**N: …that makes you nervous?**

Billy nodded and Natasha laughed, highly pleased by that.

**N: Nice. I like that.**

The taxi driver parked in front of the motel they asked for. Billy got out of the car and ran to Natasha's door, to open for her to come down, but Natasha didn’t move to leave. She stared at the car seat, as if her mind was empty.

**B: Natalie?**

Natasha looked at Billy, she and Hill gave fake names so they wouldn’t find them later. Natasha put one foot out of the car and paused to reflect again, when she decided to get out of the car, she again was startled and looked to the street.

**B: What is it?**

**N: I'm listening to this crying child. Maybe I'm going crazy.**

Natasha looked at Billy again.

**N: I need to go.**

**B: What?**

**N: I'm sorry. I am too drunk.**

**B: You can’t be on the street drunk like that.**

**N: I’m alright.**

Natasha entered the cab again and closed the door.

**\- Where to, miss?**

**N: Hm…**

**\- Miss? Are you okay?**

Natasha wasn’t okay, she was very drunk and she couldn’t remind a place to go, she was a little bit dizzy so she said what came into her mind.

**N: 5th avenue, 65.**

The driver took her to the address informed.

**\- We're here.**

**N: Huh?**

Natasha was confused, she didn’t even know what place she had asked to go, in fact she didn’t even know what she was doing in a cab anymore.

Natasha paid the driver, who started to get impatient, and got out of the car.

Natasha walked down the sidewalk and looked around, she rang the door bell of a building, the porter spotted her and opened the door.

**\- Good night, Mrs. Rogers.**

**N: Mrs. Rogers?**

Natasha asked, while frowning, she entered the building and when she got into the elevator she began to regain her senses, but she didn’t know where she was yet.

Natasha got off the elevator and knocked on the door of the apartment 4B. As it was already dawn, she had to knock several times until somebody opened the door.

When the door opened, the man who answered the door frowned, looking confused.

**Steve: Natasha?**

Natasha sighed and leaned her hand against the wall, staring at Steve.

**S: What? What are you doing here?**

Natasha also seemed extremely confused.

**N: I don’t know.**

Natasha said, entering Steve's apartment and pushing him into the apartment, closing the door behind him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She went back to Steve, even without conscious. Maybe her subconcious still remembers. Who knows?


	13. First Mission Together

**N: I'm sorry, I...**

**S: Are you okay?**

Natasha looked around and still looked confused, she felt a severe headache that made her dizzy and weak, she almost fell, but Steve realized in time to hold her and take her to the couch.

**S: You're not fine, I'll call a doctor.**

**N: No, you don’t have to. I just need... I’m drunk and… Just…**

Natasha lay down on the couch and fell asleep.

Steve couldn’t sleep anymore, he sat beside her, taking care of her.

Steve just went to sleep when the day brightened, he slept on the rug beside the sofa.

Sarah woke up and went to Steve's room but didn’t see him there, then she went to the living room and saw Steve sleeping on the floor and her mother on the couch.

Sarah smiled at her mother.

**Sarah: Mamma came back, you back.**

Natasha woke up with Sarah's euphoria, she frowned and yawned.

Natasha looked around and realized where she was, she looked at Steve asleep on the floor and put her hand on her head.

 **N:** **Боже** **мой** **.** **Что** **я** **сделал** **? (My God, what did I do?)**

**Sarah: Mamma!**

Sarah climbed onto the couch and laid on top of Natasha.

**N: Sarah...**

Natasha sat down holding Sarah and placing her sitting on her legs. Natasha looked into her eyes and whispered...

**N: Do you know how to keep secrets?**

Sarah nodded.

**N: I have to go, but...**

**Sarah: But mamma, I don’t want you to go...**

**N: Shh.... Let me finish, be brave, okay? Do not tell your father you saw me leave, okay?**

Sarah nodded and she looked sad.

**Sarah: I'll miss you, mamma.**

**N: No, you won’t. I promise I'll come back to see you and your brother.**

Sarah didn’t look excited.

**N: Don’t make this face. I'll bring you a present, what do you think about that?**

Sarah shrugged.

**Sarah: Okay, I guess...**

**N: Good girl.**

Natasha kissed her forehead, she got up and put Sarah on the floor, she went to the door and before closing the door, she waved to Sarah who didn’t smile back this time.

…

Natasha arrived at Hill's apartment and rang the bell. Hill opened the door, already dressed for work.

**H: Good morning, slut. How was your night?**

**N: How was yours?**

**H: Too bad, I got rid of the guy. He was beautiful, but a bore. And yours? How was it?**

Natasha didn’t answer, she didn’t want to say she dumped the guy and went to Steve’s home, she just walked in and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower.

**H: Natasha, I'm leaving.**

Hill shouted from the living room.  

Today is Natasha's first day of work with the Avengers, since she left Steve’s apartment, her way of keeping conected with her lost memories is the work.

Natasha got ready and headed for the Avengers tower. She stopped at the front door and a screen was activated.

**_\- Hello, Mrs. Rogers. Welcome back._ **

Natasha noticed that in the corner of the screen were the initials J.A.R.V.I.S.

**N: Why does everyone call me that?**

Natasha whispered as she entered the tower and headed for the elevator. As soon as she got into the elevator, the screen activated and JARVIS continued to talk to her.

**_\- Would you rather me to call you Black Widow?"_ **

**N: That would be better or Romanoff.**

**_\- Roger that. Where do you want to go?_ **

**N: Operations center.**

The elevator began to go up, but it stopped on the third floor, which Natasha thought to be the Operations Center.

**_\- It’s not here, Mrs. Romanoff. I just stopped for more passengers to board._ **

As soon as the door opened, Natasha stared at who was about to enter, and as soon as this person saw Natasha, he was uncertain whether he should enter or not.

**_\- Going up._ **

Bucky was paralyzed looking at Natasha, there was no one else in that elevator, it would be strange to come in and be alone with her, but it would also be strange to turn away and leave.

**N: Will you come in or not? I don’t have all day.**

Bucky got into the elevator and stood in front of Natasha with his back to her, staring at the ceiling, extremely uncomfortable.

Natasha knew of his discomfort and made a point of approaching and staying on his side.

Natasha stared at him, until he create courage to look at her.

**N: How are you?**

**B: Good. And you?**

Natasha shrugged, indicating she didn’t know.

**N: So you've also become one of the good guys, huh?**

**B: Yes, thanks to Steve.**

Natasha looked away and nodded.

**N: Of course.**

Natasha whispered.

**\- Eigth floor. Have a good day, Mrs. Romanoff and Mr. Barnes.**

Bucky made a gesture with his hand, indicating that Natasha could leave first. She looked at him and smiled sarcastically as she left.

**N: Thank you, Jarvis.**

Bucky stepped out behind her and walked past her.

**N: James!**

Bucky frowned, no one calls him like that for years, it's always Bucky.

**N: You have to take me where I should go. I don’t know anything here.**

**B: Where's Steve?**

**N: I don’t know. I don’t live with him anymore.**

**B: You don’t?**

Natasha shook her head. Bucky sighed.

**B: Come on, I'll show you.**

As they walked along the corridor, Natasha bring up subjects about the work routine, so Bucky would be less tense being around her.

**N: I like this tower, it looks very advanced. This Jarvis is of incredible intelligence. Stark made a good job.**

**B: I can’t disagree with that. Our weapons are much more powerful and we have more efficient non-lethal weapons options.** **Steve's Requirement.**

**N: That suits him.**

**B: He thinks everyone should be tried before being punished.**

**N: And what do you think?**

Bucky shrugged.

**B: I have no right to disagree with him on this, if it wasn’t for him, I would be in jail or dead now.**

**N: You’re always owing your life to someone, James Barnes.**

Natasha smiled at Bucky, who finally smiled back, but still avoided eye contact with her.

**B: It's here.**

**N: Aren’t you coming?**

**B: I am more of action than planning, if they need me, they call me.**

Natasha nodded, Bucky headed for the fighting center and Natasha entered the meeting room.

In the meeting room were Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Clint Barton and Steve Rogers.

Steve already looked at Natasha with reproach and at the same time concern. Everyone stopped talking when she arrived and everyone was watching her.

Natasha walked slowly around the room, irritated with all attention.

**N: They told me I should come here, did they make a mistake?**

**T: Well...**

**C: Of course not, Tasha. Sit here with me.**

Clint pulled the chair beside him, Natasha sat down beside him and turned her attention to the big screen.

Steve and Tony were the ones standing, explaining about the mission.

**T: So, this little guy here is called Daniel Williams. He will be carrying the pen drive we need.**

**N: What's on it?**

**B: All locations of the secret bases of the United States.**

**S: So you can imagine, how dangerous this can be in the wrong hands.**

**N: Where did we find this guy Daniel?**

**T: There was an auction for this pen drive last night. The buyer's name is Liu Xen. They will make the transaction tomorrow.**

**C: How will we intercept the pen drive?**

**S: We thought of arriving by surprise in the restaurant where they set the transaction, we would wait them to leave and we will have 2 groups, one to chase the buyer and recover the pendrive and another to chase the seller.**

**N: These guys will probably be heavily escorted.**

**T: Yes, but we have the Hulk.**

**C: The Hulk in the middle of a noble neighborhood, with thousands of civilians around?**

**S: Clint is right... Too risky for Hulk.**

**N: Clint?**

Clint turned the chair so he could look at Natasha.

**N: Do you remember Budapest?**

**C: How could I forget?**

**T: I don’t remember...**

**S: Neither do I.**

**C: Everyone knows what happened in Budapest, people.**

Clint stared Natasha.

**C: Do you want me to repeat what happened there again?**

**N: Not everything, but remember what I did at the hotel?**

**C: Yeah, that might work.**

Steve was impatient with the parallel conversation between Clint and Natasha.

**S: What do you have in mind?**

**N: We don’t need such a big deal to get the pen drive. This guy... Daniel Williams, right?**

Tony nodded.

**N: I can do it myself.**

**S: How?**

**T: She's a spy.**

**B: She is.**

**C: The spy.**

**S: You're going to take a chance alone.**

**N: I've always worked alone.**

**S: Will you seduce him?**

**N: Probably.**

**S: And you'll go to the room with him, because that's where the pen drive must be.**

**N: I still don’t see where the problem is.**

**S: Will you kiss him?**

**N: I will do whatever it takes to complete the mission.**

Natasha and Steve exchanged accusatory glances, while the rest of the group felt uncomfortable with the tension between them.

**S: I can’t allow that. We can do it another way.**

**N: The other way is risky, we can lose team members and injure civilians. I can get in and out without anyone noticing.**

**C: Cap... It’s all right, I'll be there, disguised.**

**S: I'm going too.**

**C: No, Steve, you're not a spy, and you can ruin the mission.**

**T: Steve, you, me and Sam stay in the car, watching and we'll help Clint and Natasha if anything goes wrong. So, let’s prepare everything, we better approach Daniel today at his hotel.**

**N: Can you send me his full profile? I need to analyze him better.**

Tony nodded and scattered the meeting. They scheduled to leave at 6:00 pm for the mission.

Natasha got up to leave the room, but Steve hold her arm.

**S: We need to talk.**

**N: Now?**

**S: Yes, now.**

**C: Oh, okay, let me get these cookies over here and get out.**

Clint already had some cookies in his hand and he took three more from the table and stuck in his mouth, making a sign of peace as he left the room.

Finally, Steve and Natasha were alone.

**S: What happened last night?**

**N: What do you mean?**

**S: You showed up at my house and you looked lost.**

**N: I was drunk, but I'm fine now.**

Natasha turned back to leave, but Steve held her one more time, making Natasha take a deep breath.

**S: I think you should go to the doctor, you can’t go on a mission in that state.**

**N: Steve...**

**S: Seriously, it might be something related to your accident.** **I’m worried.**

**N: I'm fine.**

Natasha finally reached the door, she opened it and before leaving, she looked once more at Steve.

**N: You don’t have to worry about me.**

Natasha left the room and went to find a place where she could analyze Daniel's profile in peace.

Meanwhile, Steve left the room and phoned the children's nanny to ask her to stay with the kids tonight.

**Cindy: I'm sorry, Mr. Rogers, but it’s the end of the semestre, I have tests, I can’t miss it.**

**S: I understand, Cindy. Don’t worry, I'll figure it out.**

**\- Captain...**

Steve hung up the phone and looked at the agent greeting him. Steve smiled.

**S: Hi, Agent 13.**

**Sharon: Is there a problem?**

**S: No, it's okay.**

**Sharon: You look worried.**

**S: It's just my kids, I have a mission today and the nanny can’t stay with them.**

**Sharon: Oh, is that it? I can watch them for you.**

Steve frowned, surprised at the offer, but Sharon seemed to be a decente person, he doesn’t know her very well, but she seems to be a lovely woman to children.

**S: Are you sure?**

**Sharon: Absolutely, it will be my pleasure.**

**S: Okay, I'll tell Cindy that you're going to replace her later.** **Thank you.**

**Sharon: That's nothing. I’m at your disposal...**

Sharon smiled and left.

Sam, who was standing in the hallway and watching the whole scene, approached Steve with a sarcastic smile.

**Sam: Dude, she's so into you.**

**S: Sam... It's Nothing like that, she's just doing me a favor.**

**Sam: I know...**

**S: And you've been watching ‘Everyone Hates Chris’ too much.**

**Sam: It's a great series, you have to admit.**

**S: It's funny, yes. Sam, I need you to help me with something, come with me.**

Now everything was settled for Daniel Williams' mission. The

Avengers parked around the corner of the hotel and hacked into their system to place a file that proves that Natasha had been staying there for one week, along with Clint. Of course, with diferente names.

Natasha stepped into the hotel lobby, holding on Clint's arm.

Natasha wore a black wig, Clint was dressed as a businessman, the two pretended to be a wealthy couple with relationship issues. They sat down at a table in the hotel restaurant and Clint opened a newspaper, to avoid eye contact with Natasha, to imply that he is the kind of guy who ignores the woman, even she being attractive.

Natasha was playing the woman who is ignored and saddened by her husband's actions.

As soon as Daniel Williams appeared in the hotel lobby, Natasha and Clint made a scene, Natasha lowered the paper, demanding a little of attention and Clint looked at her seriously, and the look he gave her made her cringe. He didn’t even say a word, but everyone around him noticed her fear of him.

**N: I'm… I’m going to the bathroom.**

Natasha stood up and put her hand on her nose and cheek, pretending to be crying discreetly. And she was wearing sunglasses, so she could see that Daniel was looking at her, and that he had at least 2 bodyguards next to him.

Natasha walked past him, ignoring him completely and heading for the bathroom.

**_T: Where is she going? What is she doing? She didn’t even flirt with him!_ **

**_C: Believe me, she flirted._ **

**_T: She didn’t even look in his face._ **

**_N: I know what I'm doing._ **

**_T: I don’t think you know, because he just walked into the elevator!_ **

**_N: He will come back!_ **

They were talking through points in their ears.

Natasha entered the bathroom and it was empty, she stopped in front of the sink and looked in the mirror. She opened her purse and reached for the lipstick, but something caught her attention.

At the last stall, she could hear the sound of some radio transmission.

Natasha looked at the door to the stall and to the floor, she could see the shadow of someone, trying to disguise the presence inside. Natasha took her pistol from her purse and walked to the door of the stall.

She opened the door in a single gesture and pointed the gun, she had her finger on the trigger and she just didn’t pull because she recognized who it was.

Natasha was furious.

**N: Steve???**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, Steve, she'll beat ur ass now


	14. Memories in the form of Delirium

**N: You got to be fucking kidding me. What are you doing here? It was for you to be in the car with Tony and the others!!!**

**S: The car is far away from here, if something goes wrong, it may not give me time to come to rescue.**

**N: Rescue?**

**_T: Oh, wait! Dorito is in there? But how come I didn’t see him leaving the car?_ **

**N: Listen to me… You're going to ruin everything!**

**S: I don’t want you to risk yourself.**

**_C: Cap, I thought we'd already solved this issue._ **

**N: He doesn’t trust me!**

**S: Of course I trust you. I don’t trust him.**

**N: Oh my God, how old do you think I am? You know what? Whatever, I need to go back there, and make my job, so don’t do anything stupid.**

**S: I can say the same for you.**

Natasha left the bathroom and returned to the hotel lobby, she walked over to Clint, and as she sat down, he yawned and stood up, announcing that he was going to bed. All part of the staging.

As Clint headed for the elevator, the door opened and Daniel was coming out of the elevator, he stared at Clint and then watched Natasha sitting alone at the table.

Natasha removed her sunglasses and placed them in her bag. Natasha walked to the bar and sat down on the stool. She raised her finger, discreetly, calling the bartender. As the bartender approached her, Daniel, the target, sat beside her.

**D: I'd like a Martini, please. Oh I'm sorry, you can write down the request of this beautiful woman before.**

Natasha didn’t look at Daniel.

**N: Vodka. Pure, please.**

**D: Vodka, huh? It's not a drink for a delicate woman.**

**N: Leave me alone, I'm with someone.**

Daniel looked around.

 **D: Really? You doesn’t seem to be. What kind of man leaves a** **woman like you alone at the bar?**

Natasha smiled almost imperceptibly, just enough to make Daniel notice and believe that he touched her somehow.

**D: Are you here as tourist?**

**N: I came to accompany my husband. Business trip.**

Natasha finally made eye contact. The look she threw was enough to catch Daniel’s attention for the rest of the night.

**D: You must be feeling very bored. Have you ever been to the city? There’s a lot of beautiful places here.**

**N: No, actually, I've only been following my husband around. When he requests.**

**D: He works on what?**

**N: With stock exchange. And you, sir...?**

**D: Williams. Daniel Williams. But call me Daniel.**

**N: And you, Daniel? Are you here to work too?**

**D: How do you know that?**

**N: You've left your security guards further, but I can tell they escort you. So you must be very important.**

**D: Yes, they are escorting me. Very clever... I like that in a woman, ma'am...?**

**N: Natalie Rushman.**

**D: Russian... Well they say the russians are the most beautiful women.**

Natasha forced a fake smile.

**D: Would you like to have dinner with me?**

**N: I said I'm married!**

**D: It's just dinner, nothing more.**

The bartender was taking longer than usual with the drinks, but Natasha didn’t notice, because she was focused on the mission and also she got a little distracted because of the unexpected meeting with Steve.

What Natasha didn’t know is that the bartender works for Daniel, helping him pick up women, so he mixed a drug in Natasha's drink.

The bartender delivered the drink of Natasha and Daniel’s. They both picked up the glasses, toasted and drunk.

Steve was coming out of the bathroom, when he noticed Natasha and Daniel at the bar, he sat on a stool, a little further from the two, and he watched what the bartender did.

Daniel continued to talk to Natasha, until she began to feel dizzy, he offered help to take her to her room, but he ended up leading her to his room. Steve followed them and waited on the emergency stairs, watching the security guards standing at the door.

Steve was impatient, he wants to act right now, he doesn’t know what Daniel was going to do with Natasha in that state.

The security guards, after ten minutes, left and entered their own rooms. Steve ran to the door of Daniel's room and noticed that it was locked.

Steve used his shield to break the lock and invade the room, when he came in, Natasha was mounted on all fours, over Daniel’s body, with a knife pressed against his neck.

Natasha looked back at Steve, she was in shock and at the same time furious.

**N: What the fuck, Steve!**

**S: I thought...**

Natasha looked at Daniel again.

**N: Where is it?**

Daniel just smiled sarcastically as Natasha began to feel even more dazed. She was strong and the serum was blocking the action of the drugs in her body, but a part of the drugs began to take effect on her.

Daniel took advantage of the moment, to take her wrist and twist it, making her release the knife. Steve came over and struck the shield on Daniel's head, making him faint in time.

**S: Nat?**

Natasha couldn’t answer, her eyes were open, but she couldn’t react. Steve noticed the briefcase that Tony presented on the big screen and took it, he tried to open but he couldn’t, not now because he is worried about Natasha.

Clint appeared at the door of Daniel’s room.

**C: Captain? But what the hell are you doing here? Is that Natasha? What happened to her?**

**S: I can’t open this to take the pen drive, let's take the whole suitcase.**

Steve threw the suitcase at Clint and picked Natasha on his arms.

**S: Come on.**

Clint and Steve ran to the hall. Clint pressed the elevator button, and when the elevator arrived, one of Daniel’s security guards opened the door and saw the three of them with the suitcase, he looked at the door of Daniel's room broken and called his partner.

Clint, Steve, and Natasha entered the elevator under a wave of shots that Steve managed to block using his shield. As they reached the lobby of the hotel, Clint noticed that the hotel security guards were approaching them, discreetly for having too many civilians nearby.

**C: This guy hired the whole hotel?**

**S: Clint, we have to go. Go! Go! Go.**

Clint opened the exit door and Steve ran with Natasha in his arms and Clint ran right behind them. The security guards began to chase them on the street.

**T: No fighting, she said… And just when I am feeling too lazy to wear my armor?**

**Sam: You don’t have to use it, open the door.**

Tony unlocked the door of the van, and Clint and Steve with Natasha in his arms entered the car. They managed to get away in time.

Inside the van Natasha fainted, Steve still held her and patted her face to try to wake her up.

**S: Natasha! Natasha!**

**C: She'll be fine.**

Upon reaching the base, Steve put her on the stretcher that was already waiting for her, he accompanied the nurses who took her to Dr. Cho's consulting room.

Cho picked up a flashlight, lifted Natasha's eyelids and tested the reflexes. She ordered the nurses to administer medication into her vein.

Cho turned to Steve and Clint who were inside the infirmary.

**Cho: She's going to get enough sleep now, but she'll be fine. It's late, I'm going home but I'm going to leave a nurse here, call me if you need anything.**

Steve nodded.

**C: Thank you, Doctor.**

**S: You don’t have to stay, Clint.**

**C: Sure?**

**S: Yes. See you tomorrow.**

**C: You mean later, it's 2:00 in the morning.**

Clint smiled and patted Steve on the shoulder to say goodbye and left the room.

Steve called home to hear about the kids.

**_S: Sharon?_ **

**_Sharon: Hi. I was worried about you._ **

**_S: We had a problem and Natasha was injured... I'm staying with her in the hospital... Do you mind spending the night there?_ **

**_Sharon: Not at all._ **

**_S: How are they?_ **

**_Sharon: They asked a lot about you._ **

**_S: I’m so sorry for that. I hope they didn’t give too much work for you._ **

**_Sharon: Well, James is very… energetic. Sarah is a sweetheart, she's in my lap sleeping now. James is sleeping on the couch._ **

**_S: I'm going to owe you one._ **

**_Sharon: And I'll charge._ **

**_S: Please do._ **

Steve smiled and hung up.

Steve sat on an chair facing Natasha's stretcher. He was also exhausted and eventually fell asleep. Two hours later, Steve awoke with Natasha moaning and shivering on the stretcher, he got up right away and went to the stretcher.

Natasha moved her head from side to side, but she was still asleep.

**N: Steve?**

**S: Natasha?**

She didn’t answer, obviously she was dreaming.

**N: That hurts so much…**

**S: What hurts?**

Steve didn’t know if she was talking to him, or talking in her dream.

**N: I can’t... I can’t do it. Will you stay with me? Steve? I can’t, Steve, help me.**

Steve leaned against Natasha's hand to try to calm her, he noticed that she had a fever and she seemed to be having some nightmare.

When Steve placed his hand on her, she calmed down, her facial expression was no longer of pain, in fact she seemed to be smiling.

**N: She's so beautiful...**

Natasha shook her head again.

**N: Sarah...**

Steve called the nurse who came running and applied medicine in her vein for her to get better.

**N: Stay with me, Steve.**

**S: She's delirious.**

**\- It's normal, her fever is very high, but she'll get better soon.**

**N: James... Don’t cry...**

Natasha went back to a heavy sleep, and after half an hour the fever disappeared. Steve moved the chair to the side of her stretcher and hold her hand all the time.

When Natasha woke up, on the next morning, she took a deep breath and looked around, trying to recognize where she was. Natasha saw Steve with his head on the stretcher and he was holding her hand.

Natasha laid her head on the pillow and fell asleep again.

Steve woke up an hour later and left her hand resting on her belly. The moment he got up, Natasha moved and let out a low moan. Steve stood still, looking at her. Natasha opened her eyes and her first sight was Steve.

**S: How do you feel?**

Natasha shook her head.

**S: I'll see if Cho has come back to examine you.**

Steve was already turning to leave, but Natasha called him.

**N: Steve?**

Steve stopped and looked over his shoulder at her.

**N: You saved me last night.**

**S: I thought you'd be mad at me now.**

**N: I am mad. You shouldn’t have followed me! Still… I owe you one.**

**S: You don’t owe me anything.**

Natasha prepared to get up, she sat down and Steve ran to the stretcher and leaned against her waist and shoulder, preventing her from getting up.

**S: Please, wait for Cho to come back.**

**N: But I'm fine.**

**S: Natasha... Please. Stay on the bed.**

Natasha sighed, but she owes this to Steve. Natasha lay down again and watched Steve.

**S: Do you remember what you were dreaming about?**

**N: Huh?**

**S: You kept talking while you were sleeping.**

Natasha frowned in confusion and tried remember about what she had dreamed about. The more she tried to remember, the more she forgot.

**N: Funny... I don’t remember now, but it had been intense. What I said?**

**S: Nothing that makes sense...**

Steve lied, feeling a bit disappointed, he knows that she dreamed about Sarah’s birth.

**N: Did you spend the night here?**

Steve nodded.

**N: But what about children?**

**S: Sharon spent the night with them.**

**N: Sharon? Who’s that**

**S: A SHIELD agent.**

**N: I don’t remember her. You need to go home, Steve.**

**S: Not until Cho shows up.**

**N: Steve, I'm fine and I gave you my word that I would wait for Cho. You can trust me.**

**S: Okay...**

Steve looked into her eyes and felt honesty in her eyes. He just agreed to leave because of the children.

**S: If you need anything...**

**N: I know, I’ll call you.**

Steve went to the door, and when he left, he came across with Bucky in the hallway. The two greeted each other awkwardly.

Steve wanted to know what Bucky was going to do there in the infirmary and Bucky was embarrassed to cross with him.

**S: Bucky.**

****

**B: Steve.**

That's all one said to the other.

Bucky knocked on the door, Natasha looked to see who was coming in.

**B: I heard what happened. Are you alright?**

**N: Thanks to your friend, yes.**

**B: I found it strange that you didn’t realize that you were being drugged...**

**N: I distracted myself... Thanks to your friend too. He is very protective.**

**B: He is.**

Bucky said bending his head a little, the sentence contained a bit of jealousy and Natasha noticed, but she didn’t care.

**N: Why are you here?**

**B: I came to know how you are...**

**N: James... I know you. You knew I was fine. Why did you come here?**

**B: Don’t ask me that, Natalia. You know the answer.**

**N: You should be a man and assume at least. I know you still feel something.**

**B: I do, always felt, but I can’t.**

**N: Why not?**

**B: Because you love him.**

**N: I don’t love him.**

**B: Yes, you do, you just.... You don’t remember. No one has ever seen you so in love before. I didn’t even know you were capable of feeling it.**

**N: Now you're just offending me.**

**B: It's the truth, you've always been very insensitive.**

**N: It's not true.**

**B: Yes, it is. Did you ever love me?**

**N: I... I was in love with you.**

**B: You never cared about me.**

****

**N: I cared, but Ivan put a lot of pressure on me. I couldn’t disappoint him.**

**B: But me, you could.**

Natasha looked away and sighed. Dr. Cho entered the room.

**Cho: Good morning. Oh, you look so much better, nATASHA.**

**N: Give me that discharge right away.**

**B: I'll leave you now...**

Bucky headed for the door, but before he took one last look at Natasha who was staring at him.

Cho measured Natasha's pressure and took a blood sample.

**Cho: I'll have it analyzed, but I think you're fine. You can go now.**

Natasha called Hill who sent a car to pick her up at the base of the Avengers and take her to SHIELD. When she arrived there, Hill persuaded her to not go on any outside assignment.

**H: I have issues to settle in Texas, I'm going to leave now.**

**N: Texas?**

**H: Yeah, Fury wants me to find him there.**

**N: Should I go?**

**H: No, he asked only me and Coulson to go. Here, take the keys of my apartment.**

**N: I'll start looking for a place for me tomorrow.**

**H: Finally, that’s good to her, I don’t have space for two people.**

**N: Wow, you’re so honest.**

**H: You know I am. See you tomorrow and Natasha… It's after 7:00 pm, go home and rest.**

**N: Actually I am leaving now.**

...

Steve didn’t return to the Avengers' base because his kids were very sensitive that he hadn’t come back home the day before.

Steve took them to school and he also picked them after, which made them both very excited.

Steve spent the afternoon with them at home.

It was already close to 9pm, Steve was sitting on the floor of the living room, next to Sarah who was scribbling a paper.

James was lying on the couch, watching cartoons on tv.

**Sarah: Look at this one, Daddy.**

**S: It's very beautiful. What is it?**

**Sarah: It's you!**

**S: Oh! Me?**

**Sarah: I'm going to do Jamie now.**

Sarah picked up a blue clayon and made a crooked ball.

**Sarah: Here.**

**S: Very nice, princess. James looks great.**

**Sarah: It's not James!**

Sarah frowned, staring at Steve seriously.

**Sarah: It's his bike**

**S: Oh, really?**

**J: Dad, I'm hungry!**

**S: I’m too tired to cook, so I’ll order a pizza.**

The doorbell rang.

Steve looked at the clock and he was surprised to have visitors at this hour. He got up and went to the door, when he looked through the Magic Eye, he was extremely surprised to see who it was.

Steve opened the door.

**S: Hi?**

**N: Hi! Is it too late? The kids are sleeping?**

**S: No... No, they're here.**

Steve was so surprised that he didn’t even move for Natasha to come in.

**N: Can I... come in? I promised I would see them.**

**S: Of course, sorry.**

Steve finally moved and Natasha entered the apartment.

Sarah and James looked at her, James got up and ran to his mother, he hugged Natasha's waist.

Natasha hugged James, then she ducked to look in his eyes.

**N: Hi, how are you?**

**J: I’m fine. I made a volcano to my school science project, do you want to see it?**

**N: Of course.**

**J: Yes! I’ll go get it.**

Natasha smiled and James ran to his bedroom.

Natasha looked at Sarah, who looked away as soon as Natasha looked at her.

Sarah began to scribble again. Natasha walked and sat on the couch behind her.

**N: This is very beautiful.**

Sarah didn’t answer, she continued to draw.

**N: I can draw a pony, you know?**

Sarah frowned and looked at Natasha.

**Sarah: Me too! Want to see? Want to see?**

Sarah took another paper from the floor and set it down on the little table, she did a random scribble and showed it to Natasha. Natasha raised both eyebrows and couldn’t help but laugh.

**N: Yeah, this one is way better than mine.**

**Sarah: I know. I'm very good at it.**

Steve took advantage of the fact that Natasha was with Sarah and he called the pizzeria, ordering pizza.

James returned to the living room with the volcano and pushed the drawings of Sarah to the floor to put the volcano on the table.

**Sarah: Hey!!! Bad boy!**

Natasha grabbed Sarah and put her on her lap so she wouldn’t start a fight with James.

Natasha analyzed the volcano, and it was really good.

**N: Did you do it yourself?**

**J: Cindy and Sharon helped me.**

**N: I bet you'll get a 10.**

**J: And it works! Want to see?**

**S: Oh no, no, no, James.** **You better activate the volcano at school, otherwise the room will get dirty and you have to leave the best for the presentation.**

**J: Are you going, mom?**

**N: Where?**

**S: There's a science fair tomorrow in his school. It will be after class.**

Natasha looked at Steve and then at James.

**N: I'm sorry, James. But I'll be working.**

**J: Oh… Yeah, I already knew that.**

James said bowing down his head.

**N: But I'll try to go, I promise.**

**J: Whatever.**

The bell rang again and Steve asked James to put the volcano back in his bedroom.

**S: It's the pizza. Do you have dinner with us, Natasha?**

**Sarah: Stay, mamma. Please.**

**N: Well, I can’t refuse pizza! Right?**

Sarah and James screamed, celebrating that Natasha was staying for dinner. They all sat on the floor around the small table. Sarah sat between Natasha's legs and was already putting her hand on the pizza, but Natasha took her hand.

**N: It's hot, remember when you got the fries and it burned your mouth?**

**S: That's true.**

**J: The first one is mine!**

**S: I thought it was the ladies first, James...**

**J: Oh...**

**N: Alright, we'll wait. Go ahead, James.**

James smiled and Steve handed him his slice and then another one for Natasha, who shared her slice with Sarah.

Steve watched as Natasha took care of blowing each piece of pizza to hand to Sarah.

After they had finished eating, Steve and Natasha put the children on the bed, and as usual, they bumped each other on the hallway, but this time their bodies didn’t collide.

Steve smiled a little, and the way he looked at her was full of love and gratitude for her coming and staying a little bit with the kids. Natasha was embarrassed because she is not used to being looked at like that.

**N: Well, I'll... I should go.**

**S: It's late. You can stay. If you want.**

Natasha looked around, she sighed and looked at Steve again. Steve felt as if he had to explain what he asked.

**S: I mean you can stay in the bedroom, I sleep here on the couch.**

**N: Thank you, but no, I'd rather go home. Thanks for the pizza.**

**S: No problem.**

Natasha was leaving, but she decided to compensate Steve giving a tender kiss on his face, she came to trust him more after he saved her.

Steve just watched her walk to the door. Natasha looked at him again before leaving and she gave a very discreet smile for Steve, before closing the door and going away.

 

 


	15. Bad News

The next morning, Natasha woke up early, and while she was having breakfast, she was looking for an apartment in the Papers, she circulated three ads that caught her attention. She contacted the three advertisers and scheduled to visit the apartments in the afternoon.

Natasha threw the dishes she used into the sink, she picked up her keys, and left Hill's apartment toward the Avengers Base.

Upon arriving at the Base, Jarvis opened the doors for Natasha and she went straight to the elevator and again halfway, the elevator stopped, for the same passenger to enter.

This time they both laughed at the coincidence of meeting again.

**N: Are you going to train?**

**B: Yes, and you?**

**N: I...**

Natasha looked thoughtful.

**N: I’m not sure, but I guess I'm going to the same place as you then.**

Bucky looked at her in surprise.

**B: Really?**

**N: Unless you don’t want my company.**

**B: I didn’t say that.**

Jarvis stopped on the right floor and announced the arrival.

Natasha and Bucky left the elevator and Bucky introduced her to the Avengers training center. There were 2 centers, one to train cadets and agents and another to the official Avengers.

As she entered the center, Natasha looked around.

**N: Where is everybody?**

**B: It's too early, and most Avengers are too lazy to come and train, I basic train here alone or with Sam when he is into it.**

**N: Well, I'll wear something more comfortable.**

Natasha headed for the ladies' locker room and there were lockers in there, and each locker belonged to one of the Avengers and had their names on it.

Natasha realized that her locker had a digital lock, and she needed the code to open it, but she doesn’t know, she doesn’t remember.

**N: Dammit.**

Natasha sighed and picked up her cell phone, she pointed the cell phone camera toward the lock and typed a code, but the atempt failed. Natasha tried again, and Jarvis took control of Natasha's cell phone.

**_Jarvis: Attempted system invasion blocked._ **

**N: But this is my locker!**

**_Jarvis: Enter the 4-digit password, please._ **

**N: I don’t know! I don’t remember.**

**_Jarvis: Then you must seek permission from Tony Stark to generate a_ ** _**new password.**_

**N: Really?**

Natasha began typing a new sequence of data on her cell phone.

**_Jarvis: You can not break into the system, Mrs. Black Widow._ **

**N: The hell I can’t!**

Natasha was able to hack the tower system and open her locker. She grabbed a pair of black gym pants and traded for the one she was wearing, she kept the black tank she was wearing and put the pants and her jacket back in the locker.

Natasha removed her shoes and went to the mirror, she ran her hands through her hair and pinned him up in a ponytail. Natasha returned to the center and Bucky was also in sportswear.

**B: Let's stretch?**

**N: Stretch? You know I don’t like foreplays. I prefer action.**

Natasha stepped on the mat and shook her head from side to side and bounced, facing Bucky.

**B: I thought we were going to train on the simulators.**

**N: Are you afraid that I will hurt you?**

Bucky laughed and stepped on the mat.

**B: Okay, but let's...**

Bucky didn’t finish the sentence because Natasha hit a punch right in his face.

**B: Auch! Shit! What was that?!**

**N: Your reflexes suck, Barnes.**

Natasha smiled sarcastically. Bucky took three steps toward her and tried to punch her in the belly, Natasha slid her body to the side and held Bucky's wrist with her both hands, then she used the floor to as support to jump, she pulled Bucky's arm down, consequently making him lower down and she wrapped her legs over his shoulders, sending him to the floor.

Natasha held the position and stretched Bucky's arm more, she was about to break it.

Bucky screamed in pain.

**N: You’re out of shape, James. You used to be better.**

**B: Or am I just letting you win?**

Bucky lifted his metal arm and grabbed the back of Natasha's neck, he pulled her so hard that made her body flip in the air easily.

Natasha fell with her back on the mat and let out a grunt of pain, Bucky managed to keep her head between his legs.

Natasha started to laugh at the blow she'd taken, she tried to fit her arm between Bucky's thighs to make him release her, but Bucky pressed her neck more tightly, making her choke a little.

Natasha soon had a red face, which made her laugh even more. She struggled to lift her butt off the mat and slowly tried to turn her body, and as she couldn’t she turned her face a little bit and bit Bucky's thigh for real, there was blood coming out of the bite.

Bucky let out a cry of pain and released Natasha.

**B: You bit me???**

**N: I know you like it.**

Natasha said, still panting, her eyes defiant, and that fatal smirk on her lips.

Bucky kicked her ankle from behind, which made her lose her balance. Bucky started to get up, but before Natasha's body hit the floor, she grabbed his shirt and brought his body along with her. Bucky ended up on top of her body.

**N: If I fall, you fall too.**

Natasha raised her eyebrow in defiance, but Bucky didn’t answer to that, he was paralyzed by the proximity between their bodies. He could feel her breast moving up and down because she was out of air and he could see all the freckles that she has on her neck and face.

Natasha was still laughing, as she tried to normalize her breathing. When Natasha noticed that Bucky was staring at her too much and with desire in his eyes, she was gradually breaking the smile and she stood there on the floor, looking into her eyes.

Natasha lifted her head a little, without looking away from Bucky’s eyes, she bent her head, bringing her lips close to Bucky's, who couldn’t resist and allowed his lips to brush against her lips.

Bucky was thirsting for those lips, he could feel his mouth throb, wanting to kiss that mouth.

Natasha closed her eyes and Bucky tried to press his lips to hers, but Natasha laid her head on the floor again and turned her face to the side, making his lips touch her cheeks.

Natasha sighed.

**B: Why are you doing this?**

Bucky whispered to her.

**N: I don’t know… It’s complicated.**

**B: Why?**

**N: I'm not with him anymore, but...**

**B: You have feelings for him.**

**N: I don’t have feelings for him, it's not that, it's just...**

Natasha rolled her eyes.

Bucky stepped off Natasha and sat on the mat, Natasha laid her hand on Bucky's arm and stroked it lightly.

**N: I feel stuck with him yet. I think it’s because I’m still married with him and I can’t do anything while I'm married.**

**B: I know. That's what I'm saying...**

Natasha frowned, not understanding the last sentence, she sat up, folding her knees and hugging them, staring at Bucky.

**B: You cheated on me.**

****

**N: Do you want me to cheat Steve?**

**B: No. He's my friend. I'm just saying that you didn’t bother cheating on me. But you do care when it’s about him.**

**N: You don’t know that! It's easier to believe that I'm a bad person. And maybe I am bad but I fell in love with you and it wasn’t fake. They forced me to do things I didn’t want to, you know they can do it.**

**B: I know. You don’t have to tell me, Natalia.**

Natasha stood up.

**B: Where are you going?**

**N: I have business to take care of.**

Natasha stepped off the mat, she stopped when she heard Bucky call for her.

**B: Nat? You should talk to him.**

Natasha turned to look at Bucky.

**B: If you don’t love him, you must be honest with him.**

**N: Do you think I should file for a divorce?**

**B: I don’t know, but if you feel something for me and… if you want to be with me… but you have to know what you want first.**

Natasha frowned a little, she seemed to be reflecting and analyzing Bucky's words, she didn’t respond to his comment, she turned her back and went to the locker room.

...

Steve and Natasha didn’t meet at the Avengers 'base that day, Steve left the children at school, then he met with Tony to solve some issues, and then he announced that he needed to take the rest of the day off for James' fair.

Tony complained a lot, but there was nothing he could do, Steve’s kids come first in his life.

Steve went to Sarah's nursery and took her there, she had her backpack and the lunch box hanging on her neck.

**Sarah: Are we going to see Jamie now?**

**S: Yes, but first we will have lunch at a restaurant near here and then we will go to his school to see him.**

**Sarah: But won’t he eat with us?**

**S: He's going to eat at school. It’s gonna be me and you.**

**Sarah: Yaaay!**

Steve walked into the restaurant with Sarah on his lap and a waiter brought a high chair for kids.

Steve put Sarah in the chair and sat down to order the meal.

After a few minutes, two young women approached Steve's table, smirking and looking at Sarah, and then the two of them squeezed her cheek.

**\- Oh my God, look at those cheeks! It’s sooo cute!**

**\- Oh, I want to bite her.**

**\- She is very beautiful.**

Steve had been scared at first, but then he smiled. He looked at Sarah with a frown.

**S: How do you say, Sarah?**

**Sarah: Thank you.**

None of them could hardly understand what Sarah said, because she practically grunted.

The girls now looked at Steve with their eyes shining.

**\- Aren’t you the Captain America?**

**S: Hm…**

**\- Of course it is him! I would recognize him anywhere!**

**\- Can I have your autograph?**

**S: Hm... Yeah, I guess… Of course...**

Steve was extremely embarrassed, but he didn’t want to be rude.

**S: Pen?**

**\- Here.**

Steve took a napkin and was going to autograph it, but one of the girls held his hand.

**\- Can be here?**

The girl lifted her shirt, exposing her belly to him. Steve scratched his forehead and looked at Sarah, then at the ladies.

**S: I’m sorry, but I prefer it to be on the paper...**

A waitress approached the table.

**\- I'm sorry, but this is a restaurant! If you won’t order anything, stop bothering my customers. Out, out.**

**\- We just want an autograph!**

**\- I know what you want! Can’t you see he's with his little daughter? You're not ashamed, are you?**

**S: It's okay.**

Steve signed two napkins and handed to the ladies. One of them grabbed Steve's neck and took a selfie with him.

**Sarah: Daddy!**

Sarah thought the girl was hurting her father.

**S: It’s okay, Sarah.**

**\- Bye, sweetie.**

**\- Bye, cutieee!**

Sarah frowned, irritaded. The crazy fans are finally gone. Steve looked at the waitress with grattitute.

**\- So what do you want? Let me guess what this little redhead princess will want... French fries...**

**Sarah: Yes!!! And a bottle!**

**\- Baby bottle? Um, I don’t think we have this here.**

The waitress joked.

**S: Sarah, there's no bottle here.**

**\- But we have a huge, delicious chocolate milk shake. What about that?**

Sarah smiled broadly and nodded.

**\- What about you?**

**S: I'll have grilled chicken and salad, please.**

**\- And to drink?**

**S: Water. And you can add a hamburger steak and some vegetables for her, please.**

**\- All right, I’ll be right back.**

The waitress walked away.

**Sarah: No vegetables!**

**S: Yes, you just want to eat junk food.**

**Sarah: No vegetable.**

**S: Or you eat vegetable, or there is no fries. No milkshake.**

Sarah folded her arms. When the waitress returned with the meals she ate the vegetables with the hamburger and then she ate some fries.

Steve finished his meal, paid the bill and went back to James' school, it was already on time and he noticed many parents entering the school for the fair.

Steve entered the school and put Sarah on the floor, who protested wanting to be on his lap.

Steve searched James's classroom and finally found him.

When Steve arrived at the door of the classroom, James's group was already the first to present their work, the volcano was on the teacher's table, the students standing behind the table and the parents sitting in the students chair and some standing in the background.

Steve first just looked at James and smiled at him. James smiled at the sight of his father.

**Sarah: Mommy, Mommy!**

Sarah let go of Steve's hand and ran to the back of the classroom, climbing onto Natasha's lap and hugging her. Steve was completely surprised that Natasha was there.

**N: Sh... let's hear James's presentation, you can’t scream here.**

Steve moved closer to Natasha and stood beside her.

**S: I didn’t think you would come.**

**N: Me too but I didn’t want to miss it.**

Steve smiled at Natasha, who smiled back and turned her attention to James.

James was so excited and nervous that he forgot the speech in his turn and when he tried to speak, a huge belch came out, which made everyone in the room laugh, including Natasha. Sarah was laughing, covering her mouth and Steve was the only one shaking his head, reproving James for his lack of education.

After that, James was able to present the work. At the end of the presentation, everyone clapped.

James got together with his parents and Natasha ruffled his hair.

**N: Good job, James!**

Natasha raised her hand in the air and James Hi-fived her.

Sarah raised her hand too and James hi-fived her also.

**Sarah: Good job, Jamie.**

Steve laughed and also greeted James.

**J: Mom, are you staying until the end?**

**N: No, I can’t, I have to see some apartments.**

**J: Oh...**

**N: But I watched your presentation. Aren’t you happy with that?**

**J: Very much!**

**N: Great! So, I'm going to deliver this little pig to her father.**

Natasha handed Sarah over to Steve's lap and then kissed her cheek. She bent down and kissed James. She looked at Steve and waved to him to say goodbye, as always Steve with the sweet eyes on her.

Natasha left the school and drove to see the apartments, she was already feeling bored imagining the search for the ideal apartment.

Natasha imagined the countless visits in various neighborhoods, until she found some that would suit her, but what she didn’t expect was to fall in love with the first one she entered.

As soon as Natasha set her foot inside the first apartment, she knew it was the one. The seller went right behind Natasha and was about to start the speech to try and win over Natasha.

**N: I'll keep it.**

**\- Will you keep it?**

**N: Yes. How much?**

**\- 3 thousand dollars a month the rent.**

**N: 3 thousand?? How many bedrooms?**

**\- Only one.**

**N: Only one? 3 thousand? What if I want to buy it?**

**\- Well, it costs $99,000 today.**

**N: Is the structure made of gold, or what? Do I have a discount paying in cash?**

**\- 10%.**

**N: Um... Okay.**

**\- Okay? You will buy?**

Natasha picked up her cell phone and unlocked the screen, then she began to type.

**N: Your name is Debora Gideon, right? Representative of Rent & Co, with Citibank bank account... I can see the agency and the account, but the digit doesn’t show up. Can you provide me?**

The seller was incredulous.

**\- Hm... 3?**

**N: Three... Ready. It's paid. The keys?**

The seller took her tablet, and accessed the company's account, and checked the money in the account. When she looked at Natasha, Natasha was with her hand towards her, waiting for the keys.

**\- You made an excellent choice, Miss. Romanoff.**

Natasha took the keys and headed for the door, opening the door for the seller leave.

The seller walked out of the apartment, and turned to look at Natasha.

**\- If you need anything, it's just...**

Natasha closed the door on the woman's face, she looked around the apartment and smiled. She went to the living room window and saw that she had access to fire escape lading.

Natasha opened the window and looked at the building facing hers, she had a view of several windows and she always had this weird habit of watching what was going on in people's homes. It was her way of spending time at home.

Natasha checked the kitchen and when she turned the tap, it came out some water and then stopped, she hit the tap.

**N: All that money and there is no water? Thieves!**

Natasha checked the huge bathroom of the apartment and then checked her bedroom, which was also huge.

When Natasha returned to the living room, there was a black cat on the floor of the room, who stood staring at her.

**N: Hey! My apartment! Out!**

Natasha shooed the cat out the window.

Natasha called Steve's cell phone.

**_S: Nat?_ **

**_N: Hey... I just bought an apartment!_ **

**_S: Already? Hm... Congratulations._ **

**_N: I need to talk to you. Can you come and find me?_ **

**_S: Hm... Sure._ **

Steve was surprised again.

**_N: Can you leave the kids somewhere? I need to talk to you, alone._ **

**_S: Alright, but... Is everything okay?_ **

**_N: Yes, it is... When you arrive, I’ll explain everything._ **

**_S: Okay, I'm leaving that school now and I'll leave the kids with Cindy and I'll go to meet you._ **

**_N: Right._ **

**_S: The address?_ **

Natasha passed the address to Steve and hung up the phone.

Natasha looked at her hand and looked directly at the ring on her finger, she touched the ring, looked away and sighed.

**N: I have to do this!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall know she'll ask for divorce, right?


	16. Do you want the divorce?

Steve went to the Nanny Cindy's house, but he called her to warn that he would drop the kids there before.

Cindy greeted Steve and he greeted Cindy's grandmother, a very nice old lady who loves Steve and his kids.

**S: Sarah and James don’t give Mrs. Johnson any work. Okay?**

**\- Oh don’t worry, they behave very well. And Grandma's going to make some delicious cookies for them.**

**Sarah: Yayyy!**

Steve smiled and waved to his kids to say goodbye, he got in the car and drove to the address of Natasha’s new apartment.

Upon arriving at the building, Steve went up the stairs, despite having an elevator. He rang the bell and waited. He rang again and noticed that the bell wasn’t make any sound, then Steve knocked on the door.

**N: One minute!**

Steve heard the noise of things falling to the floor.

**S: Natasha?? Is everything okay in there?**

**N: Yeah! It's just... Wait...**

Natasha opened the door and she was holding a broom and she was a little disheveled as well. Steve frowned at her condition.

**S: What is going on?**

Natasha put her hand on Steve's mouth for him to shut up.

**N: Sh... Did you hear that?**

Steve shook his head and raised his eyebrows, feeling confused. Natasha let go of his mouth and looked at the kitchen counter, she ran up there, while Steve came in and closed the door behind him.

**S: Natasha?**

**N: He's here, I can hear him.**

**S: Who?**

Steve understood what she was talking about, when a huge rat ran down the hall. Steve ran after him, but the rat went into the bathroom and down the drain.

Natasha reached the bathroom after Steve with the broom in her hand. Steve put his hands on his waist and looked at Natasha.

**S: He's gone. Sorry.**

**N: Are you sure?**

**S: He went down that drain, but he'll come back. You have to put a net and a lid here.**

**N: I have to do a lot of things in this place.**

Natasha said coming out of the bathroom and putting the broom against the wall. Steve followed her.

**N: I don’t even have water in here.**

Natasha turned the switch on, but there was no electricity.

**N: Dammit! And I have no electricity either.**

**S: I hope it was very cheap.**

**N: It was not! But I fell in love with this place and I didn’t want to see others, I was dumb.**

Steve looked around and walked, looking at the window and then looking at the kitchen.

**S: It’s not that bad, when you make some renovations, it will be perfect.**

Natasha watched Steve and she gave a half smile, she was analyzing him.

Natasha is frustrated, chasing a rat, with no water and no electricity in her brand-new apartment, and Steve can still see the good side of it.

 _What's his problem?_ Natasha thought.

**S: You said you have no water?**

Steve walked over to the kitchen and he looked beneath Natasha's sink, he found the valve, opened it, and stood up.

Steve turned on the water tap.

**S: Voilá.**

Natasha gaped at the sink and she came over to touch the water. She smiled excitedly.

**N: Really? I can’t believe it!**

**S: The valve was closed. I knew it was here, because this is an old apartment.**

**N: Oh, thank you so much.**

**S: Now the lights... It should be off on the switchboard. Do you know where it is?**

Natasha shook her head.

Steve looked at her and Natasha frowned a little, he's just one step away from her and that is too close. Natasha looked around.

**N: I guess… it's near the door.**

Natasha walked to the front door, and next to it, there was the switchboard. Natasha activated it.

**N: I found it.**

Natasha turned to ask Steve to test, but Steve was already right behind her, Natasha sighed with the fright she took. Steve reached for the nearest switch, turned it on, but nothing happened.

**S: You really are without electricity here.**

**N: I...**

Natasha sighed again, she could feel Steve's body behind hers and she didn’t know why he had this magnet effect on her body, it was as if she had to lean against him.

**N: I'm going to call an electrician...**

Natasha ran her hand over the back of her neck, she nodded and walked away from Steve.

**S: What did you want to talk to me about?**

**N: I...**

Natasha turned to look at Steve, she touched her wedding ring, spinning it on her finger nervously.

**N: I wanted to talk to you.**

**S: Well, I'm here.**

Natasha sighed and closed her eyes, as if she were still thinking about what to say. She was confident about what she wants, a few minutes ago, but the problem began when she saw those blue and tender eyes.

**S: Natasha, I can sense you’re nervous, you can tell me anything.**

**N: It's just that we never made it clear when I left your house, about...**

Steve was looking at her patiently, but Natasha was rambling to say what she wanted.

**N: It's just... Have you dated anyone since I left?**

**S: What? No! Of course not!**

**N: Why "of course not"? You know you can be with whoever you want, I left the house, so...**

**S: Is that what you wanted to talk about? Are you interested in someone?**

Natasha mage negative with her head, despite being interested in someone else, but now she is feeling very confused.

**N: It's just...**

**S: Well, Natasha. I'm glad you called me to talk before you did anything. We're still married.**

**N: That's right!**

**S: Do you want to get divorced?**

Natasha opened her lips to answer, but no sound came out. She didn’t expect him to understand her point so easy, without her saying everything, so that means he really knows her very well.

 _Yes, yes, I do_. Natasha screamed in her thoughts, but she couldn’t say it out loud and there was no reason for her to not be able to say it.

**N: I...**

Natasha looked down, she frowned and looked again at Steve.

**N: I don’t know. What do you want?**

**S: You know I love you, Natasha.**

Natasha looked away and sighed again.

**S: But I don’t want to be with someone who does not want to be with me. I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me.**

**N: Dammit, why do you have to be like this???**

Natasha was annoyed now. She walked to the kitchen counter and rested her hands on the counter, staring into nowhere.

**N: I don’t want to hurt you! I know you’re good!**

**S: Don’t worry about it.**

**N: I like the children. I want to keep doing things with them and...**

**S: Natasha, I won’t forbid you from seeing our children. We both have responsibilities with them.**

Steve stopped for a second before asking her, something he doesn’t really want to know.

**S: Have you been with someone else after you left our house?**

**N: No…**

Steve sighed in relief.

**S: Okay. We should get a lawyer to handle this.**

Natasha closed her eyes and she was silent, then she whispered.

**N: I'm not sure.**

**S: What?**

**N: I'm not sure what I want. It's so hard for me. Have I tried enough? Will I regret if I do it, or if I don’t? I don’t know. I don’t know** **anymore.**

Natasha sighed.

**S: It's okay...**

Steve moved closer to Natasha and touched her shoulder to comfort her. Natasha instinctively turned to Steve and hugged him, resting her head on Steve's chest.

Steve hugged her and stroked her head.

**S: I know it's hard and you've been trying. Don’t feel forced on anything.**

**N: It would be easier for me if you just hate me.**

Natasha lifted her head and looked into his eyes.

Steve ran a few fingers over Natasha's forehead, pulling her hair away from her face.

**S: I think that's impossible.**

Natasha frowned a little as Steve looked at her tenderly in the eyes. She knows she doesn’t deserve such a look. Natasha tried to look away, but Steve caught her chin and made her look at him again. As soon as Natasha looked at him, Steve glued his lips on hers, just for a quick peck, but their lips remained together for a long time.

Steve laid his hands on Natasha's face and he placed his tongue between her lips and he slipped his tongue inside her mouth.

If she's going to leave him, let him have that last kiss before.

Natasha wasn’t taken by surprise by the peck on the lips, but by Steve's tongue she was surprise and she didn’t have time to say no, she didn’t even know when she started to run her tongue through his.

Steve stroke Natasha's tongue, with his, he explored every inch of her mouth, feeling all the textures of her tongue and he took so long doing it that both of them were already out of breath, and that caused their nosed to work harder and the air that was coming out of their noses stroked their skins, which made them both feel the urge to prolong the kiss.

As Natasha was very close to the counter, Steve pressed his body against hers, causing her to bend slightly over the counter.

Steve sucked hard on Natasha's tongue, making her moan in pain. Natasha grabbed Steve's shirt firmly and she was now trying to pull move her lips away a little bit, but Steve didn’t give a break to her lips.

Natasha let go of Steve's shirt and put her hands on his chest, and Steve immediately released her lips, just because he decided to hold her waist.

Steve lifted Natasha’s body off the floor. Natasha held onto the collar of Steve's shirt and as soon as he sat her on the counter, Natasha ripped the front of his shirt and Steve started to kiss her again.

Natasha moved her lips away from Steve and he leaned his forehead on Natasha's, closing his eyes as Natasha stroked his chest, trying to calm down.

**S: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I…**

**N: It’s okay... We shouldn’t this...**

They both said slowly, because they were extremely breathless.

**S: We shouldn’t.**

**N: No...**

Natasha was saying as she makes negative with her head.

Steve opened his eyes and he moved his head away from Natasha's head, he looked at Natasha's swollen and red lips and took a deep breath.

Natasha looked at him in the same way.

**N: Fuck that!**

Natasha grabbed the back of Steve's neck and pulled him to her again, putting her lips to his.

Steve grabbed the hem of Natasha's blouse and lifted to remove from her body. Natasha had to stop kissing him to lift her arms, so Steve could take her blouse off.

As soon as Steve removed her blouse, Natasha unbuttoned the jeans she was wearing. She stepped down from the counter, and lowered down the jeans to remove it, but before she stood up fully, Natasha grabbed Steve's belt and opened it, then she unbuttoned Steve's pants and unzipped.

Natasha stood up again and put her hand inside Steve's underwear. Steve went back to kiss her with passion, while Natasha kept stroking his cock inside his pants.

Steve slid his hand from her face to her neck and then to Natasha's arms without interrupting the kiss. Natasha was going to continue teasing Steve's cock, but he removed her hand.

Steve held Natasha by the waist and lifted her up so easily, as if she was a piece of paper and put her back on the counter. Natasha couldn’t even react.

Steve pushed Natasha's shoulder and made her lie down on the counter. Steve kissed Natasha's navel and slid his hand into her panties.

Natasha lifted her head to look at Steve, but he was now focused on meticulously stroke her clit. Natasha bit her lip and laid her head on the counter again as she moved her hip in the same rhythm as Rogers moved his fingers down her clit.

Steve felt Natasha's clit growing stiffer and he decided to slid his finger on her lower, so she wouldn’t cum right away.

Steve circled Natasha's opening and she let out a moan. Steve got more horny when he felt how wet she was.

Steve put his lips on Natasha's belly and started to kiss her skin, then he came down with the kisses to her intimate part.

Natasha arched her back for a moment and laid her body back on the counter. Steve removed his hand from her and moved away his face.

Steve removed Natasha's panties and she helped him, raising her feet in the air. Steve kissed Natasha's ankle gently, then he gathered her legs in the air and held them tightly. Steve leaned and pulled her closer to the edge of the counter, he put his tongue on Natasha's opening, which made her let out a loud groan.

Natasha bit her lip hard to not scream.

Steve released one of Natasha's legs and he slid his tongue from her opening to her clit, where he frantically ran his tongue up and down, making Natasha's body squirm with pleasure.

Natasha propped her elbow on the counter as she watched Steve's face. He was loving what he was doing and that face of desire that he has it’s what makes Natasha even more horny.

After a few minutes, Natasha came and Steve quickly slid two fingers inside her opening, causing her to close her legs and moan with pleasure again.

Steve opened her leg once again and pressed his tongue against Natasha's clit again.

Natasha was trying to say something, but everything came out as a groan from her mouth, so she gripped Steve's hair tightly and pushed his head against herself, then she tried to pull, and push again, till she couldn’t hold him anymore.

Natasha scratched the counter, while Steve moved his fingers in and out of her and he also was running his tongue in circles around Natasha's clit until she came again.

As soon as Natasha came, Steve lowered his pants and his underwear, he grabbed her thighs and pulled her body down. Steve slid his cock into Natasha's opening all at once.

**N: Oh! Oh my God!**

Natasha had to sit on the edge of the counter and rest her hands on it to keep her behind her balance.

Steve pumped her down quickly and straight for over an hour, until Natasha came all over again.

Steve took Natasha in his arms and walked with her to the nearest wall, he threw her against the wall and Natasha raised her arms high and scratched the wall behind her. Steve pulled her off the wall and walked with her into the middle of the living room, he was trying to find a better position for himself, so he just crouched with her and Natasha bounced over Steve's cock several times while he was crouched, but he was very resistant to cum.

Natasha decided to get up to help him, she made him lie down on the floor and rode on him again and after fitting her opening on Steve’s cock, she moved her body back and forth several times.

Natasha removed her bra, throwing it away. Steve grabbed Natasha's legs and made her move faster, which made her breasts move with the same intensity. Steve sat up and bit on one of Natasha's nipples.

Natasha screamed in pain and pulled Steve's hair, making him move his mouth away from her, but Steve hugged her waist, keeping his cock fully immersed inside her, he gave a hickey between her breasts.

**N: Steve!**

Natasha scratched Steve's shoulder and neck and he finally came, when he heard her calling his name like that.

Natasha laid her arms on Steve's shoulders. Steve lifted his face to look at Natasha, and she pressed her lips to his and she gave him three pecks on the lips, the last one took more time to finish.

Natasha stepped out of Steve's arms and lay on the floor next to him. She was exhausted.

Steve remained sat there, trying to catch his breath.

After a few seconds, Steve lay on the floor too, he turned his face, looking at Natasha, but she was staring at the ceiling.

Steve already imagines the thoughts of Natasha after everything they did.

Steve waited a few minutes to recover, he got up, he got dressed and Natasha sat up, watching him.

**N: Where are you going?**

**S: Away.**

**N: Away?**

**S: Do you need me for anything else?**

Natasha frowned, surprised by Steve's behavior, there was a cold tone in his voice.

Natasha made negative with her head.

**S: I know a good electrician, later I'll ask him to contact you.**

Natasha nodded, while Steve was putting on his torn shirt.

Steve headed for the door.

**N: Steve?**

Steve looked at Natasha.

**S: You don’t have to say anything, Natasha. It was just sex, right? Don’t worry. It didn’t mean anything for me either.**

****

Steve walked out the door, despite seeing in Natasha's expression that she still wanted to say something.

Natasha sighed after Steve left the apartment, then she looked at the ring on her finger once more.

Natasha pulled the ring and read the inscription on the inside of the ring… “Nothing is able to break the bond between our hearts”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's in doubt, and that means a lot, but also I think Steve is tired and done with her, so...


	17. What Goes Around, Comes Back Around

Hill returned from her mission on Texas and Natasha asked her to meet her in her new apartment.

Hill left her suitcases in her car and entered Natasha’s new building.

Hill rang the doorbell and waited, then knocked on the door, because she noticed the bell wasn’t working.

Natasha opened the door and Hill was still wearing sunglasses and dressed like an executive.

**H: God, Natasha. You look awful.**

**N: You've been more attractive.**

Hill entered the apartment with her arms folded and she was trying to dodge from the many newspapers scattered across the floor.

Natasha was in jeans and with an old white blouse. Totally stained with paint.

**H: Natasha, do you need a raise, dear? Why are you painting the apartment, yourself?**

**N: I was needing to think and when I need to think I have to use my energy.**

**H: You used to have sex for that.**

**N: Yeah, but at the moment I can’t.**

**H: So you and Rogers talked about divorce... And?**

**N: I couldn’t ask for it directly. I don’t know how but we ended up having sex.**

Hill ran her hand across the counter to check the cleanliness of the place.

**N: We had sex right there.**

Natasha indicated the counter and Hill made a disgusted face and took out a small glass of gel alcohol and applied it to her hands.

**H: So you asked him for divorce and then you decided to have sex.**

**N: I didn’t get to really ask, actually he asked if I wanted to.**

**H: And you?**

**N: I said I didn’t know!**

**H: Natasha, I love you, but you're so complicated sometimes.**

**N: I kinda of feel something for James.**

**H: James? Your son?**

**N: God, no! Not my son.**

**H: James Barnes? Bucky? I noticed.**

**N: We almost kissed. I wanted to kiss him, I wish I'd gone to bed with him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t.**

**H: So you have feelings for Steve.**

**N: No, not at all, I just feel like I shouldn’t hurt him. I think the marriage is holding me back.**

Hill checked the clock, she has no problem in showing disinterest in this kind of talk.

**N: And there's more...**

Natasha took the ring from her pocket and handed it to Hill.

Hill read the inscriptions and laugh.

**H: How cheesy, that's quite Steve. He’s so romantic.**

**N: It wasn’t him. It was me.**

**H: Huh?**

**N: It's a Russian saying of love. I used to read some novels and this came from one of my favorite books. So I know it was me who asked  this inscriptions. That book has a huge meaning for me.**

**H: Just like Steve has for you too.**

**N: If so, why don’t I remember?**

**H: I don’t know, but it means something, Natasha. Will you need a lawyer?**

**N: Lawyer?**

**H: Yeah, for the Divorce...**

**N: No, I don’t know, it's all very confusing.**

**H: Well Natasha, I just got back from traveling and you call me here to tell me it's all confusing. What about Bucky?**

**N: I've been wishing him a lot, but he's Steve's best friend. And I'm tired of it, I don’t want either of them. I never needed any man, so...**

**H: But sex you need.**

**N: That was never a problem to achieve, it won’t be now.**

**H: I'm sure not. Well, I'm tired. I'm leaving and don’t call me if you need anything because I'm going to sleep all day... Bye.**

Hill left the apartment and Natasha continued to paint the walls.

Natasha’s cell phone whistled and when she checked, it was a message from Steve, sending only the electrician's contact. He didn’t say anything else and Natasha wondered if he didn’t call to not hear her voice, it was even worse that he had sent the message and nothing more.

After a few days, Natasha was already with electricity and some furniture she bought, had already been delivered, although she was sleeping directly on the floor, then she got a mattress.

Natasha didn’t have the time and patience to buy a bed, but she dedicated the day to get a refrigerator, a radio and tv.

It was already night when Natasha arrived home and the same cat was in the middle of her living room again. Natasha startled him and he hurried to the window.

**N: What the hell! I don’t want you here! Stupid cat!**

Natasha went to her bedroom and looked around, the mood in there was kind of depressing, there was nothing but the mattress, some books and a lamp directly on the floor.

Natasha sighed, then she heard the cell phone whistle and went to check. It was Steve, sending a message again.

"Are you going to see the kids tomorrow?"

Natasha replied to the message.

"Yes."

"I'll take them to your place."

"Ok."

Natasha frowned and took a deep breath, she was hating the treatment, she removed her sweater and walked into the bathroom for a shower.

Steve's being cold with her, why the hell he didn’t call her?

The next day, Steve rang the bell, it was already 11 AM and finally the bell was working, but Natasha didn’t wake up, so Steve rang the bell again.

**J: Is she here, dad?**

**S: I hope so.**

Steve put Sarah on the floor and got his cell phone, he called Natasha.

It took Natasha about three minutes to wake up and another five minutes to feel the mattress and find her cell phone.

**_N: Yeah?_ **

Natasha didn’t even look at the screen to see who it was.

**_S: Natasha?_ **

**_N: Who is it?_ **

**_S: Steve! I'm at the door of your apartment. Where are you?_ **

Natasha scratched her eye and yawned.

**_N: I'm… I’m here, just… just a minute._ **

Natasha hung up and stood up, she was only in shorts and bra, she went to the door and opened it, still very sleepy. Steve looked her up and down, then coughed to disguise, he noticed Natasha's messy hair.

**S: Were you drinking?**

**Sarah: Mamma!**

Natasha took Sarah in her lap and James hugged Natasha's legs.

**N: Yes, yesterday.**

**S: They better come back another time, then. Come on, James.**

Natasha held onto James's shoulder and looked at Steve.

**N: I drank yesterday, not today.**

**S: I don’t want them close to...**

**N: I'm not crazy. I won’t drink near them.**

Steve looked at Sarah and then at James.

**S: If you need anything, you know how to call me.**

**N: Wait! Wait, wait, aren’t you staying with us?**

Natasha frowned.

**S: No.**

**N: But what am I going to do with them?**

**S: Well, I don’t know, Natasha. You'll find a way. James, what's the emergency number?**

**J: 911.**

**S: Very well. Good boy.**

**N: What??? What the hell was that?? Why this speech? Emergency? What do you think will happen if they stay with me?**

**S: I hope nothing, but I always teach them how to get help.**

**N: Well, they won’t need any help.  They’re with their mother! If you leaving, then goodbye and fuck you!**

Natasha pushed Steve out of the apartment and closed the door in his face, extremely irritated.

Sarah tilted her head, looking at Natasha, she put her little hands on Natasha's face to make her look at her.

**Sarah: Mamma?**

Natasha raised her eyebrows, looking at Sarah.

**Sarah: My bottle.**

**N: Oh God!**

Natasha rolled her eyes.

**J: What are we going to do, mom?**

Natasha stared at James, who was overdressed, just like Sarah.

**N: I'm feeling hot just seeing you dressed like that.**

**J: I hate coat. Can I take it off?**

**N: Of course.**

**Sarah: Bottle.**

**N: No bottle!**

Natasha put Sarah on the floor.

**J: Can we watch TV?**

**N: Of course... Yeah, turn on the TV and watch it till your father come back.**

**J: Where's the couch?**

**N: I don’t have one.**

**J: Everyone has a couch.**

**N: I'm not everyone.**

Natasha took the remote and handed it to James.

**Sarah: My bottleeeee!**

**N: No bottle, Sarah! And the worse part is that I have no milk here.**

**J: I'm hungry, too.**

**N: Why didn’t your father sent your food with you??? He is a jerk.**

**Sarah: Daddy is not.**

**N: He is!**

**Sarah: He is nooot.**

Sarah threatened to cry and Natasha made negative with her head, feeling desperate.

**N: Oh my God, no, no, no. Don’t cry! Daddy is not a jerk, okay? I’m sorry.**

Sarah nodded and calmed down.

**N: I had an idea. I'm going to get dressed and we are going to the market.**

**J: Where will I sit?**

**N: On the floor, what do you think?? Wait for me here. Don’t break anything, please.**

James looked around and took a long time to decide to sit on the floor, he has a certain OCD with housekeeping standards and cleanliness, that came from Steve.

Natasha went into her bedroom and separated her clothes, then she went to the bathroom and took a quick shower, she dressed up and combed her hair.

Sarah was standing at the door, waiting for her to leave the bathroom.

Natasha opened the door and looked at Sarah.

**N: I don’t a bottle! Okay? Do you understand?**

Sarah already trembled, ready to cry.

**N: We go on the market, how about shopping with me? I’ll buy your bottle there.**

Sarah smiled and held out her arms, asking for a lap. Natasha picked her up, walked to the living room and called James to go out.

Upon arriving at the supermarket, Natasha put Sarah in the cart.

**J: I want to come in too.**

**N: You're too big, James. Where am I going to put the stuff I will buy?**

James frowned, feeling upset.

**N: But you can help me to push. I need someone with strong arms and I think you’re the right man for the job.**

**J: Okay.**

Natasha walked down the aisles and stopped at the cereal session. She turned around so she could pick a cereal and while she was distracted, Sarah stretched herself until she knocked over several cereals on the cart and on the floor.

Natasha turned frightened by the noise.

**N: SARAH! No! No! What are you doing????? Look at this mess!**

**Sarah: My bottle!**

Sarah started to cry and Natasha crouched down to pick up the boxes scattered on the floor.

**N: Stop crying!!! Take this one here and be quiet!**

Natasha opened a package of chocolate cereals and handed it to Sarah, who stopped crying to stick a lot of the cereal in her mouth. Natasha turned her attention to choosing the cereals, again.

**N: James, what cereal do you like? I like this one here…**

Natasha picked up a box of cornflakes.

**N: What about Sarah? Do you know what she likes?**

Natasha was reading the box.

**N: James??**

Natasha looked at the cart and then at Sarah and then at the hall.

**N: JAMES??? Oh shit!!! Where is he???**

**Sarah: Shit!**

**N: It's a dirty word, I can say it, you not.**

Natasha pushed the cart, running, and started looking for James.

An employee approached her.

**\- I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you lose your son?**

**N: I didn’t lose him, he ran away. It’s different!**

**\- Don’t worry, kids usually go to the toys area.**

Natasha ran to the toys area, she didn’t even thank the guy who helped her, she was desperate.

Arriving in the toys are, Natasha saw James trying to catch a basket ball.

Natasha was so worried and now she is so mad with him, that she wanted to spank him.

**N: Are you crazy???**

**J: Can I take this ball?**

**N: No! Of course not! James I was looking for you! You scared me to death! Why did you run away?**

**J: I wanted to see the toys.**

**N: You have to warn me! Oh my God! Don’t ever do that again!**

Natasha was screaming with him, then she doesn’t know why, but hugged him tightly for a long time.

**J: I’m sorry, mom.**

**N: Okay…**

Natasha sighed and finished the shopping, then she took them back to the apartment. She gave Sarah a box of milk and James ate cereal. Natasha shared the cereal with James.

**J: What are we going to do now?**

**N: Don’t you never sleep?**

James shrugged, saying he didn’t know.

**Sarah: Meow, meow!**

Sarah pointed to the window, the black kitten was there.

**J: Cool! You have a cat, what's his name?**

**N: I don’t have a cat, he doesn’t leave here.**

Natasha frowned

**Sarah: He's so cute.**

James ran to the window and picked up the cat and brought it to the floor, so Sarah could pet him.

**N: James no, he'll get used to be in here.**

**J: I guess he's hungry.**

Sarah put the milk box on the cat’s face and spilled some on the floor.

**Sarah: Take a bottle, take a bottle, kitty.**

...

It was lunch time, and Natasha was actually giving breakfast as lunch for the kids, she didn’t notice it was past 1:00 pm.

While Natasha was with the children, Steve decided to go to the diner near James' school, since it was on the way to the Avengers Base. Despite being a weekend, he decided to keep his mind occupied to not worry so much about his kids being with that Natasha.

As soon as Steve sat down, the waitress approached.

**\- So, Captain America, where's the little one?**

****

Steve looked at the Waitress and smiled, he recognized her from the day she saved him from the crazy fans, who were harassing him and Sarah.

**S: She's with her mother today.**

**\- Oh... So you split up?**

Steve looked away for a second and the waitress tapped her forehead.

**\- Oh. I'm so sorry, it's just that I have this habit of deducing things in my mind and I end up talking loudly. Please don’t get mad at me.**

**S: It's okay, really.**

**\- Okay, so what do you want to eat today?**

**S: It would be nice to have the menu...**

****

Steve said with good humor, the waitress closed her eyes tight, punishing herself by the this flaw. She handed the menu to Steve, who checked and ordered a Peruvian breast sandwich and a natural orange juice.

**\- Very healthy. I'll be right back with your order.**

**S: Thank you.**

...

**N: Okay, time for the kitten to leave.**

Natasha took the cat and put him out the window.

**N: Have you ever been to Mom's or Dad's job before?**

They made negative with their heads, Natasha smiled.

**N: Great, let’s go.**

Natasha went out with the kids to SHIELD. While she was in the car, Natasha got a call. It was Bucky. Natasha activated the speaker.

**_N: James..._ **

**J: What?**

**N: No…**

Natasha made negative with her head.

**N: Not you, honey. It's the other James… Bucky.**

**_B: Hi Natasha, are the kids with you?_ **

**_N: Yes._ **

**_B: Oh..._ **

Bucky was silent for a few seconds, he didn’t expect that and Natasha had already understood why he was acting weird.

**_N: Steve is not here._ **

**_J: Hi Uncle Buck!_ **

**_B: Hi, James. Having fun?_ **

**_J: Mom fights with us all the time._ **

**_N: It's not true!_ **

**_B: N-nat..._ **

**_N: Say it, Bucky! What’s wrong with you?_ **

**_B: I just wanted to know if in the afternoon, you would be free._ **

**_N: Well, I'm not free as you can tell._ **

**_B: And at night?_ **

Natasha sighed as she stopped at the traffic light.

**_N: You know what it is, Jam... Bucky. I'm fixing my new apartment yet and I'd rather not go out today._ **

**_B: Okay…_ **

Silence again…

**_B: What about tomorrow? Can we have lunch togeter?_ **

**_N: Hm... I'm not sure, I’ll warn you if I can._ **

**_B: Okay._ **

Natasha hung up the call, even before Bucky said good-bye.

Of course the kids are too young to understand the conversation and Natasha now wants to avoid contact with Bucky or any other man.

Natasha parked in the SHIELD building. She knew there would be few people in there, for being Saturday.

Natasha opened the car door for the children to get out of the car. She had to carry Sarah in her lap and James ran off as soon as they passed the glass door and went to the desk of the receptionist. He kept trying to see who was behind the desk.

**N: Good morning, Cynthia.**

**\- Good morning, Agent Romanoff. By the way, good afternoon. It's already 15 o'clock.**

**N: Really??**

**\- Is that your daughter? I’ve never seen her before. She's so cute.**

**N: Yes, this is Sarah and this one here is James.**

**\- Hi, James.**

James smiled.

**N: I'll show them the place around.**

**\- But just a minute, the director wants to see you.**

**N: Is Fury here??**

Cynthia nodded. Natasha went to the elevator with the kids, and on the 2nd floor, Agent May was coming in the elevator, along with Agent Daisy.

**N: May.**

**May: Natasha Romanoff! How long! I heard you were back. Look how these kids grow up fast, the other day, Sarah was just a little fat baby. Oh, and by the way, this is Skye... No, Daisy, I mean...**

**D: Nice to meet you. What beautiful children you have.**

**N: Thank you.**

May and Daisy went down on the 7th floor. Natasha finally arrived on the 24th floor, which was the last of the building.

Natasha greeted the receptionist and headed for Fury’s room.

Natasha came in and James ran across the room, stirring and knocking over almost every chair at the large meeting table.

Fury stood up and looked at James seriously.

**F: James Grant Rogers!**

James stopped and looked at Fury, startled.

**F: You're going to put all this back in place, am I right?**

James nodded and began to fix the chairs. Natasha gave a small laugh and approached Fury.

Sarah looked at Fury and frowned. Fury watched her.

**F: What are you looking, huh?**

**Sarah: Your face is hurt.**

**F: Yeah, it happens when we're naughty.**

**N: Fury…**

**F: Romanoff. Glad to see you're fine.**

**N: After all this time that I’m out of the coma you come ask me if I'm** **okay.**

**F: I’m not asking, I’m stating you’re fine. I've been busy, but I've been informed about your status. I knew all the time.**

Fury glanced at Sarah, who didn’t take her eyes off the bruise in his eye, despite having an eye patch.

**F: What are you looking at??**

Sarah surprisingly extended her arms to Fury, asking for a lap. Fury frowned and picked her up.

**F: I'll get you, but I don’t like children, specially you.**

Sarah laughed and she stretched her hand straight to Fury's eye patch.

**N: Sarah, no!!**

**F: It's okay. Doesn’t she want to be curious? Let her look.**

Sarah lifted the patch and she was impressed by the aspect of Fury's eye.

**Sarah: It's pretty ugly.**

**F: I can say the same about you.**

Fury put Sarah on the floor and she started to play catchy with James while Natasha and Fury discussed some of SHIELD's issues and also about Natasha's memories.

Fury said it would be possible to use Wanda's powers to make her remember, but he doesn’t know what kind of risks would be included on the process, since nobody know the extensions of Wanda’s power.

Natasha promised to study Wanda's powers and get in touch with Steve and Tony about this possibility.

**N: All right, James and Sarah, let’s go. Say bye to Fury.**

**J: Bye, Fury!**

**Sarah: Bye, bye.**

Natasha took the kids to Steve's apartment.

Sarah was sleeping on Natasha's lap.

**N: Ring the bell for me, please, James.**

James rang the bell and Steve opened the door immediately, he was missing his kids more than anything.

**J: DAD!!!**

**S: Hey, champ!**

Steve took James in his lap and hugged him.

**S: Did you have fun?**

James nodded.

**S: Now go take a shower for the dinner.**

Steve put James on the floor and took Sarah from Natasha's lap with care to not wake her up.

Steve didn’t look at Natasha's eyes in any moment, she hoped he would start any kind of conversation, even about the kids but he didn’t.

**S: Thanks for bringing them.**

That’s all he said.

Steve just closed the door on Natasha's face, just as she did with him earlier.

Natasha gaped and she was furious. She reached out to knock hard on the door and start a fight with him, but she took three deep breaths, until she calmed down enough to walk away.


	18. Mission London - Part I

Natasha drove home feeling irritated, as soon as she arrived at her apartment the damn cat was in her room again.

Natasha was exhausted, she just took a deep breath and went to the bathroom, ignoring the cat.

**N: You know what? Whatever. Stay. I don’t give a fuck.**

Natasha took a shower and she went to sleep.

On the next morning, Natasha spent the day at home, eating ice cream and watching TV, for reason that she doesn’t know and doesn’t wanna know.

Around the afternoon, Natasha remembered Sarah and James playing together a game to guess what the other was thinking, and  James always guessed everything Sarah thought because she kept looking at the object. Sarah got was very annoyed that she didn’t find out anything on James’s turn.

Natasha was looking at nothing, laughing and shaking her head remembering the scene.

Natasha thoughts were interrupted when her cell phone rang. Natasha saw it was Bucky calling, she stared at the cell phone ringing and after a while, she hung up.

 _Time for myself_. Natasha thought.

After a fez minutes, someone knocked on the door of the apartment and Natasha frowned, as she wasn’t expecting any visitors today.

Natasha put the ice cream pot on the kitchen counter and all she was wearing was a long-sleeved blouse and panties. She looked through the "magic eye" of the door and saw who it was.

 _Oh shit._ Natasha thought, she sighed and tried to fix her hair as quickly as possible.

Natasha opened the door.

**N: Hey.**

**Bucky: Hey. Ignoring my calls?**

**N: What are you doing here, Barnes?**

**B: You said you had nothing to do.**

**N: Yeah and I said I'd let you know if I wanted to do something.**

**B: Oh… My bad. I just… Never mind. See you later.**

Bucky turned to leave and Natasha stood looking at him, she felt bad for being a bitch with him for no reason, she just wanted to have the day all to herself.

Natasha sighed.

**N: James.**

Bucky turned and looked at her.

**N: Do you want to have lunch?**

**B: Yes.**

**N: But it's just lunch, nothing more. It’s not a date**

**B: Okay.**

Natasha left the door open and Bucky came in, he stared around, while Natasha went to the bedroom, to put on her jeans. Bucky watched her discreetly.

Natasha had her back to the door, she took off her blouse and put on a bra and put a tank top on after.

When Natasha turned around, she saw that Bucky was looking at her, but then he looked away, feeling embarrassed.

Natasha found his reaction funny. She came back into the living room.

**N: Come on, let’s go.**

The two left the apartment and Natasha decided she wanted to eat something light.

Natasha's apartment is much closer to James's school and she decided to go to the diner that Steve usually goes, but she doesn’t know about that. She and Bucky sat by the window.

The waitress approached them.

**\- Good afternoon. Can I write down your orders?**

**N: A natural sandwich and orange juice.**

**B: The same for me.**

**\- OK.**

The waitress looked out the window and saw her favorite client on the way to the diner with his children, but he didn’t enter.

Steve looked at Natasha and Bucky through the window, he lowered his head and turned around.

**J: Dad, aren’t we going to eat?**

**Sarah: I'm hungry, Daddy.**

**S: Let's go somewhere else.**

**J: Why? We're already here.**

**S: How about a McDonalds?**

**J: Yay!**

As soon as the waitress left to pick up Natasha and Bucky's request, Natasha took a brief glance out the window and saw Steve and the kids walking away.

Natasha frowned and she felt this weird wish to talk to her kids and she doesn’t know that Steve saw her with Bucky there.

Natasha turned her attention to Bucky.

**N: James, you know I can’t.**

**B: I know. I just miss talking to you.**

**N: We can talk whenever you want, nothing prevents us from being friends.**

**B: You're the only one who knows me well, you know of my past, I think that's why I feel this huge attraction for you yet.**

**N: I feel the same way till certain point, but there's a lot going on in my life right now, and Fury said he'll try to make me remind with the powers of the Scarlet Witch.**

**B: Really?**

**N: Yes, I want to try before doing anything I can regret.**

**B: You're right. I just needed someone with a similar mind to mine. Steve is a good friend, tho… Sam too, but Steve doesn’t even know half the things I've been through.**

**N: And you don’t tell him?**

**B: I've never felt comfortable and I don’t seek pity from anyone. Steve is the type of guy who takes care of everyone, he would revolt and try to repair it somehow.**

**N: He's like that, isn’t he?**

Natasha smiled without noticing.

**B: Totally.**

Bucky and Natasha ate and had lunch just as good friends, they didn’t even shake hands that day, but to Steve they were having a romantic date and that hurt him doubly. First for being his wife and second for being his best friend.

Hating Bucky? No, Steve can’t hate him, but disappointed? Yes he is. A lot.

The next day, at the base of the Avengers, Tony announced that they would have a new mission and the team would be Natasha, Clint, Steve, Bucky and Bobbi.

The mission would be two days in London and they needed to leave today, right now.

Tony gave a report to each one.

Steve called to the nanny Cindy and asked her to keep the kids at her house and he would pay extra for the service.

The five of them got into the jet, Clint and Bobbi were both pilot and co-pilot.

Bobbi: Someone wants a comic book to read? We have a 6-hour flight ahead.

The jet was already in the air when Natasha realized she had forgotten to bring the food to eat on the trip.

**N: Oh shiiit!**

**Bobbi: What??**

Steve looked at Natasha, but it was a serious look.

**N: I forgot the food!**

**C: What? Abort mission, abort mission!**

****

Bobbi pushed Clint and laughed.

**C: I'm going to die, seriously. I can’t do anything without food.**

**S: Don’t worry, I have some cereal bars here.**

**C: Cereal bar? Ewww.**

**S: That's it, or you get hungry.**

**C: Damn.**

Steve searched for a seat, he picked up his pad of paper, and began scribbling a sketch he had already started earlier.

Natasha was setting the guns in her body and Bucky was talking to her about anything related to the KBG's time, but Natasha didn’t seem interested in listening, she turned to fix the knives in her boot and as she looked around, she realized that Steve was concentrating on the papers, she thought it was something about the mission.

**N: Check our ammunition, Bucky.**

**B: I'm already doing this, are you blind?**

Natasha ignored Bucky and approached Steve, she stood next to him, looking at the drawings, and frowned.

Natasha was surprised that he was drawing and not focused on the mission.

**N: I didn’t know you draw.**

Steve lifted his head and looked at Natasha, he didn’t smile, just nodded and looked back at the paper.

Natasha sat next to Steve.

**N: Can I see it?**

**S: It's not over yet.**

**N: It’s okay, I don’t mind…**

Steve handed the pad to Natasha and she took several minutes looking at the drawing, analyzing the lines.

Her silence was disturbing to Steve.

**S: You hated it.**

Natasha shook her head.

**N: No, I... Actually, you draw very well. I'm surprised. Your features are firm and well made. It's a beautiful job.**

**S: Sarah likes to draw too.**

Natasha returned the pad to Steve and smiled, but he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at the pad. Intentionally, he was avoiding her.

**N: I know, I noticed. I just didn’t know she'd been inspired by you. Have you thought about publishing your drawings?**

Steve finally looked into Natasha's eyes and watched her sitting next to him. Now she is so close, that he could look at her closely and she was so spontaneous that it was impossible for Steve to maintain the cool humor he would like to keep with her.

**S: No, this is more of a hobby.**

**N: No, I mean it! Seriously, you should show it somewhere. It's very good. Imagine in a gallery. Captain America Design!**

Natasha laughed and Steve smiled automatically as her lips curved to form the smile he loves. She looks even more beautiful and stunning when she is smiling.

**N: We'll handle it when we get back. And I'm going to want 30% of the profit.**

**S: 30% is not a little too much?**

**N: I got the idea, I think it's fair.**

**S: Well, I can’t argue with that.**

**N: Well, I'll let you finish. I don’t want to disrupt your artistic moment.**

Natasha got up and walked over to Clint and Bobbi and remained with them on a good part of the trip, wondering how they started to date and so on.

Bucky was now sitting and irritated, he felt jealous of the attention Natasha gave to Steve, and now he remembers the bad that Natasha did to him the time they dated, he hated that she paid attention to anyone who wasn’t him and she used to give attention to everyone, especially to men and that made him crazy with jealousy.

Bucky knows he has to hold back because Steve is his best friend and also because he doesn’t want to be heartbroken.

As soon as they arrived in London, local police informed them of everything they knew about a terrorist group that was holding a full train as hostage.

As Steve was the leader, he instructed everyone.

The train was standing in the tunnel between Hendon Station and Lenox. They had a tablet with a map of the train and on that map, there were spots that represented human warmth, so if someone moves, a spot on the map will move too.

Steve positioned himself with the team at the top of the train and he saw that in the middle car, there were fewer people, so fewer guards.

Bucky and Bobbi were responsible for calling attention to another wagon, so that the terrorists could concentrate there and so Steve and the others could enter and mingle with the other hostages. They were all in civilian’s clothes so they wouldn’t be discovered.

Bucky jumped in the side car, causing a small crash in the roof of the train, immediately the terrorists pointed the guns to the ceiling and began to shoot, Bucky ran moving towards the end of the train and Bobbi made the opposite way. The terrorists dispersed.

**S: Now!** **Move! Move!**

Steve opened the emergency trapdoor on the train and motioned for the passengers to remain silent.

Steve came down first and reached out his arms to take Natasha and put her on the floor. Clint came down too. Steve pointed to the other wagon and Clint obeyed him, going there. Steve looked at Natasha and told her to stay in this same wagon.

Natasha sat between two passengers, who were shaking. Natasha whispered so they would stay calm, that no one would get hurt.

Steve went to the wagon next to Natasha, one of the terrorists saw him standing up and came running back and gave a blow on the back of Steve's head that made him go to the floor.

Actually the knock didn’t affect him that much, but he had to pretend to be weak.

**\- I told everyone to stay down! Want to be clever one, huh? Do you want to be the first to die??**

Steve shrank to the floor, feigning fear and the terrorist walked away and began to speak in another language with the others.

Natasha looked at a woman who was sitting facing her and looked at her in utter alarm. Natasha looked at the woman's belly and she took a deep breath. She seemed to be 8 months or more pregnant.

 _God_. Natasha thought.

The terrorists seemed to be fighting each other, one of them was particularly violent, the one who hit Steve, he was crazy to kill someone, but the leader told him to calm down and take care of the hostages.

The violent one became frustrated and got out of the leader's wagon and came back into Steve's wagon and stared at everyone, the sense of power over the hostages, made him feel more powerful. He looked down at Steve and crouched down.

**\- You'll be the first one I'll kill.**

The gut got up and switched to Natasha's wagon, he leaned against the train door in front of Natasha's bench and stared around and began to sang a song and made an old lady next to him start to sing along and she was so scared that she sang crying, fearing for her life. The guy started to laugh and then yelled at the old lady making her shake all over.

Natasha ignored him all the time and he hadn’t noticed her presence so far. He stared at her for a few minutes, Natasha looked briefly into his eyes and turned away. He approached Natasha.

**\- Look, how come I have not seen such a beauty here before?**

Natasha continued to avoid eye contact with the terrorist and he got mad because she ignored him, so he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up.

**\- You think you're too good for me? HUH? I'll show you, bitch.**

Steve was watching from the other car and when the man pulled Natasha’s, he clenched his fist in anger.

The man now put Natasha in front of him and began to run his hand over her belly and he slid his hand up to try to reach Natasha's boobs.

**N: I wouldn’t do that if I were you.**

**\- What?**

The terrorist could only say "what" because Steve grabbed him from behind and threw him against the wall.

The terrorist turned and pointed the gun at Steve's head.

**\- Are you crazy, man??? Do you want to die? You're going to die for this!!!**

The other terrorist approached him and told him to lower the gun, and as he didn’t obey, the other terrorist tried to take his gun, but the man punched his face.

The pregnant woman screamed and Natasha looked at her in alarm.

**\- It have burst!**

The woman was with water coming down from her panties.

**N: Hold on, we'll help you!**

**S: I need to help that girl!**

**\- You're not going to help anyone!**

The terrorist pointed the gun at Steve again and he was about to pull the trigger, but the leader of the group was watching everything from the other car and fired a single shot in the air, which made people panic.

Steve approached the pregnant woman and held her hand.

**S: It’s gonna be okay.**

The terrorists came to the wagon and the leader was extremely nervous that she had gone into labor, he started cursing in another language, which Natasha understood and tried to communicate with him.

Natasha asked the leader to let Steve take the woman off the train, but he said it was out of the question. The leader also seemed extremely nervous and scared.

Natasha asked permission for her and Steve to help the woman to have the baby and he allowed.

Natasha approached the woman and Steve was talking to her.

**S: What's your name?**

**\- Patricia.**

**S: Very well Patricia, I'm Steve Rogers, I promise it will be all right.**

**\- It's hurting a lot!**

Natasha crouched down next to the woman.

**N: I know, but you have to be strong for the baby.**

**S: Is it a boy or a girl?**

**P: It's a boy. Theodore.**

**S: That's a pretty name. I have a boy too.**

Natasha paid attention to Steve’s way of talking, he was showing so much calmness to talk to the woman, that even herself could feel in his words some kind of comfort.

 _He is good_. Natasha thought.

The woman screamed at the contraction she felt.

**N: We need to get her out of here.**

**S: If I try to take her out, he will realize and kill everyone.**

**N: Steve, he doesn’t know what he's doing. I could see doubt in his eyes. He could have started to kill, but he didn’t. He didn’t allow them to hurt you, I think he doesn’t want to hurt these people.**

**S: What does he want?**

**N: I don’t know, I'll try to talk to him.**

**S: No, it's too risky.**

**N: I know how to take care of myself.**

Natasha left and the woman continued to scream desperately.

Natasha asked to speak with the leader and explained who she was and who Steve was and that there would be no way for him to get out of this impunity and the man said that it didn’t matter, because if he doesn’t have what he wants, he’d rather die, but he will ensure that more people die together with him.

About ten minutes later Natasha returned with some terrorists, carrying a blanket and water.

**N: Let's put her down on the floor.**

**S: Are they helping?**

**N: Yes. I told you he was in doubt, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. The leader's son is doomed to the electric chair here in London. According to him, the son is innocent and he was tried just for being muslin and that there were no investigation that proved his guilt.**

**S: And do you believe him?**

**N: In him, yes, but I didn’t talk to his son to know the truth.**

**S: So he wants his son to be released?**

Natasha nodded.

The woman was screaming again now.

Natasha sat on the floor and made the woman rest her head on her legs and Steve was in charge to make the birth.

Steve and Natasha were successful on the process, but both the mother and the baby needed medical care.

Steve asked Natasha to stay with the woman and the baby and he went to the leader's cabin.

Steve proposed an exchange with the leader… he would release the hostages and take him in return.

Steve also said there were four more agents with him, he told Bobbi to enter the cabin and she stepped off the ceiling and introduced herself.

The leader accepted the proposal, but they had already killed the driver of the train, so Bobbi took over the control and drove the train until the next station.

Natasha noticed that the train began to move again and she looked around for Steve.

Clint appeared in Natasha's wagon and looked at her in confusion.

When they stopped at the station the doors opened, but no one had the courage to leave. There were a lot of cops at the station with pointed guns.

Bobbi appeared in the car and announced that the hostages were free to leave. Natasha didn’t understand how Steve got everyone's freedom so fast.

Bucky and Clint helped move the hostages off the train. Natasha was helping the woman to walk out of the train, she let the woman with the baby in a care of a medical staff who was there.

Natasha looked around and there was no sign of Steve, she walked over to Bobbi.

**N: Did you see Steve?**

**Bobbi: Steve... He stayed.**

**N: Stayed? What do you mean?**

Bobbi shrugged, looking at Natasha.

**N: Did he offer himself in exchange for the hostages???**

Bobbi nodded.

 _Dammit!_ Natasha thought and stared at the doors of the train closing again.

Natasha knew that the police would strafe the train as soon as it left, so she ran as fast as she could towards the train.

Bucky and Clint watched Natasha running to the train.

**Bucky: Natasha, no!**

**C: Natasha wait!**

Natasha didn1t listen, she ran as fast as she could, she turned sideways and get into the train time, before the doors closed completely.


	19. Mission London - Part II

Natasha's luck was that she entered the penultimate car of the train and there were only two terrorists in there, so with few movements, she knocked them both out.

Natasha snuck into the next car and peered to count how many men were in the next car.

Natasha wasn’t sure why she had the urge to get on the train, but the idea of Steve being alone with the terrorists terrified her.

It wasn’t fair for just him to be left behind and she knew that if the police saw her getting on the train, they wouldn’t strafe the train.

Since there were no longer any train drivers to operate the train, nor Bobbi, the train remained in the same place.

Steve contacted the authorities via the radio in the driver's cabin, demanding that all police officers leave the station. Of course they didn’t want to leave, but they believe in Steve and he insisted it was important for them to leave.

Natasha picked up a small gas disk, which was stuck in her boots and she threw it into the car ahead, causing the 8 terrorists inside the car to faint.

Natasha waited two minutes for the gas to dissipate enough that she could move forward. As she stepped forward, on the first car, the terrorists could see all the smoke and they just started to fire.

Natasha threw herself under the seats to protect herself from the shots, and finally the attention of the leader inside the cabin was alerted. He came immediately and called a cease-fire.

Steve came right behind the leader.

When the leader walked to the junction between the first car and the second one, he looked at all the terrorists on the floor and frowned, then he looked around.

**\- Only a woman could achieve such a purpose by using such delicate movements that wouldn’t call my attention immediately. Steve Rogers, you fooled me, you kept one of yours in here.**

**S: No, I swear, I...**

Natasha rolled out of the seat and Steve looked at her with surprise, even though he knew she was the one who had knocked down all the terrorists, he knows very well his wife's work.

**N: He didn’t know. I infiltrated myself in here.**

**S: You should have stayed at the station, Natasha!**

**N: And so should you!**

**S: I made an exchange.**

**N: And I came to rescue you.**

**\- Oh, oh, oh now I see… Lovebirds, what a lovely love story, but let's deal talk about business.**

Natasha prepared to get one more gas disk, but Steve knew what she was about to do and he moved toward her and the 5 remaining  terrorists pointed their guns at Steve.

Steve looked into Natasha's eyes and motioned his hands asking for her to calm down.

**S: I have it under control.**

Natasha took a deep breath as she looked at Steve and then she looked around and she could end it all right now and easy, but the way Steve looked at her and told her to calm down, made her stand down.

**S: We're just talking about his son's accusations. Since you're here, I think you can help. Can you make a call to the minister so we can negotiate?**

Natasha nodded, but her expression was deadly serious because she is on “attack mood”, she is ready to attack if something goes wrong.

**N: Does the train have a radio?**

The leader nodded and led Natasha into the cabin, Natasha managed her way to talk with the cops outside and as soon as the commander answered her, she demanded to speak with the prime minister, otherwise the terrorists would explode the whole Train, and this would cause beyond injury, many deaths and accidents with the size of the explosion.

Natasha hung up.

**\- But we don’t have explosives here.**

**N: I know. That's why I lied, otherwise they won’t take it seriously.**

Natasha looked at Steve.

**S: What now?**

**N: We expect a return from the minister.**

As they waited for the call, Natasha sat in the driver's seat and Steve leaned against the steering panel near Natasha.

Natasha never transmits fear, she is not afraid to die. She looked at Steve with some curiosity.

**N: Why?**

Steve looked at her with raised eyebrows, waiting for her to complete the question.

**N: Why did you give yourself in return to save all those people you don’t know?**

**S: Why did you come to the train?**

**N: I don’t know.**

**S: Because you care. I'm not saying that specifically with me, but you care, you're a good person.**

Natasha laughed with a certain debauchery, shaking her head.

**N: You don’t know me.**

**S: I know you better than anyone, Natasha. You would have come in here, even if it was Clint, Bobbi or any civilian, because it’s in your instinct to want to do the right thing. So do not ask me why, knowing that you would do the same.**

Natasha looked forward and didn’t answer what Steve said.

After one hour, the radio finally rang.

First, the terrorist and the prime minister exchanged offenses to each other, then Steve had to intervene and demanded a second trial.

**\- I want him to be released!**

**S: I told you, I can’t promise that. I don’t know if he's innocent, but for me he is, until proven otherwise. You told me he didn’t have a fair trial, I'll make sure that a fair trial is arranged for him this time, and if I feel honesty on the evidences presented against your son, he will remain with his sentence. But if I don’t feel honesty, I assure you that he will walk out of this as a free man.**

Natasha was worried because Steve wasn’t offering anything but his words, and she was very impressed that the leader actually trusted Steve.

Steve managed to set up a new audience for the next day, and the audience would be televised, so the terrorist would be sure that there would be no cheating this time.

The terrorist decided to keep Steve and Natasha as hostages, though they weren’t being treated as such.

Natasha and Steve returned to the car of the train, it was past two in the morning, most of the terrorists were exhausted, except for the leader who was still a pile of nerves.

Natasha sat on one of the seats and Steve sat on the other in front of Natasha's. He sat sideways to put his legs on the seat and rested his back on the train window.

**N: You're tired.**

**S: I'm fine.**

****

**N: I can finish this now, Steve. They are tired, it would be easy.**

**S: What prevents you from doing it, then?**

Natasha looked at the leader, pacing back and forth, then looked at Steve.

**N: I think he's telling the truth. Even if his son is guilty, I think he deserves a second chance to be tried. We know society can be very prejudiced and racist.**

**S: I agree. See? You are good.**

Natasha gave a small smile, because she was tired too. She looked at the other car and sighed, then she looked back at Steve.

**N: Where are the kids?**

**S: At Cindy's house.**

**N: They must be crying now.**

**S: Why?**

**N: They must miss you, they are extremely attached to you.**

**S: Yes, they are. But when they're at Cindy's, they kind of forget me. Cindy's grandmother treats them like her own grandchildren, give them food, cookies, treats, tells stories all day long, and she still lets Sarah do her hair.**

Natasha laughed imagining the scene.

**N: Oh God.**

Natasha sighed again and looked out the window. Steve was watching her.

**S: What?**

**N: Is that weird that I think about them too much lately? Like too much?**

****

**S: You are their mother.**

**N: I know, but I don’t remember them, so how can I miss seeing them? It’s so… so weird.**

**S: Maybe it’s the maternal instinct, maybe you still have it in you.**

**N: Maybe.**

Natasha leaned her arms on the back of the seat where Steve was sitting on and rested her chin on her folded arms.

**N: Can I ask you something?**

**S: Sure.**

**N: Don’t let my children orphan of a father.**

Steve laughed and rested his head on the window.

**N: Seriously, you're a great dad, Steve. They love you.**

**S: Yeah, I try to be what they need. I just have some difficulties.**

**N: What do you mean?**

**S: Well, I mean that… Sarah is a girl, so she likes different things, like dolls, makeup and this kind of stuff and I play with her of what she wants, but I have no idea what I'm teaching her. I was terrified when you were in a coma, I didn’t know if I would know how to raise a girl by myself. I thought only a mother could make her a real… like a lady… but she turned out to be a sweet little girl anyway.**

Natasha smiled at the way Steve said “lady”.

 **N: She certainly wouldn’t learn how to be sweet with me. That’s for** **sure**

Steve smiled.

**S: True... And James, he's totally hooked up on computers, tablets and video games and he loves that I play with him, but I don’t get along with any of this, so he always gets very disappointed.**

**N: How not? It’s not that hard.**

**S: Well, you know, I've been frozen for a long time…**

**N: Oh yeah. I forgot.**

**S: So, I'm not the type of technology, I like things as they used to be. Talk looking in the eye, not through some device. All that we have today is a lot for me.**

Natasha watched Steve speaking and she was amused at his way of saying things. He looks so fresh and young, but it’s and old soul.

**N: You spoke like a grandpa now.**

Steve looked embarrassed and looked away.

**S: You used to call me Grandpa.**

****

**N: Really?**

Natasha looked confused.

**S: Yes, I hate it, definitely hate it.**

**N: Okay, Grandpa.**

Steve frowned at her, but Natasha’s smirk only made him want to smile again.

**N: So tell me about what it was like to be frozen? Do you have any ice trauma?**

**S: I don’t remember anything from while I was frozen. Just my life before that. And no, I'm not afraid of ice.**

**N: And when did you wake up, how it was?**

**S: Very shocking and very surreal. I thought I was having a nightmare. A very bad one. There were so many people in the hospital room when I wake up for real, I just came out punching everyone.**

**N: With the super serum, how did they manage to calm you down?**

**S: You did it.**

**N: Me?**

**S: Yes, you touched a taser on my skin and gave me a huge electric shock.**

**N: That sounds just like me.**

Steve and Natasha laughed.

**S: I didn’t blank completely at once, but I was in a state of lethargy, lying on the floor. The last thing I saw, before I passed out was your face. You had just tried to kill me and you were smiling.**

**N: I was trying to stop you. If I had tried to kill you, you wouldn’t be here right now.**

**S: I have no doubt of that. I dreamed about that scene all night.**

**N: About the shock?**

**S: No… About your ironic smile. It was like if you enjoying being mean to me. And that got stuck in my head.**

**N: So that’s when you fell in love, huh? A little masochist you.**

**S: No. I didn’t trust you at all. I wanted you far away from me as possible, but Fury simply made me stay with you on all missions and you spent all the day long annoying me.**

**N: Annoying you how?**

**S: Okay… I remember that on a night mission, I was giving some instructions inside the jet and you were chewing mint gum...**

**N: Mint?**

**S: Yes, I remember the taste. I would never forget.**

**N: Did you like it?**

**S: Yes. You started to make those bubbles of gum and pop them again and again. And every time you did that you looked directly into my eyes. You were always so cheeky, you knew how much that was annoying me.**

**N: I agree with that.**

**S: I couldn’t call your attention simply for a chewing gum and even more in front of everyone, so I just finished the instructions and went as far away from you as possible. I began to fix things on my bag and you approached as if you didn’t want anything. I didn’t even look at you and I knew it was you. You passed behind me and popped the bubble again and very close to my ear. I turned to face you very furious and I made a huge speech about how annoying you were and that if you popped gum one more time you would regret it.**

**N: So... What I did then?**

**S: You popped.**

Natasha laughed.

**S: I was so angry… God! So angry that my intention was to throw you off the plane.**

**N: What did you do instead?**

**S: I kissed you... And I had to hold myself very much to not tear off your clothes right there.**

**N: Wow, Captain Rogers that sounds delicious.**

**S: And it was. For me, at least, but you spread to the whole crew that I was a bad kisser. And I felt really bad.**

**N: Why? Just because you were a bad kisser?**

**S: No, it wasn’t because of that, it was because you were having an affair with Dr. Banner.**

**N: The Hulk???? What?**

**S: It was a long time ago.**

**N: That's impossible...**

**S: Believe me...**

**N: Well, at least you kiss very well now.**

Steve looked at Natasha and she kept the same smirk on her lips, with an arched eyebrow. He could kiss her now, if not for the presence of the terrorists.

**S: You need a good sleep. Sleep and I watch the first shift.**

**N: Okay, Grandpa.**

**S: Natasha...**

Natasha smiled and settled into the seat for a nap. Steve couldn’t stop looking at her, even sleeping, she's perfect for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is allowiing herself to truly know Steve Rogers and she is enjoying it a lot ♥


	20. Mission London - Part III

When Natasha woke up, Steve was already sleeping, as were most of the remaining terrorists. She looked around and then glanced at Steve.

Natasha got up and went to the cabin to talk with the leader.

**N: Can’t sleep?**

**\- Do you have kids?**

**N: Two.**

**\- Then you know that I can’t rest till get justice for my son.**

**N: I guess.**

**\- You guess?**

**N: Well, I had an accident and I was in a coma, when I woke up I didn’t remember anything. Neither my husband, nor my children.**

**\- A husband... A wife... are very easy to forget and overcome, but when it comes to children, the blood tie speaks louder. You can’t remember, but your heart can.**

**N: Maybe this is true, I feel very attached to them now.**

**\- See? This is my problem. I am a bad person, I committed many crimes my whole life, but when I had my first child, I stopped with this life, to ensure that he would be a good a boy.** **And my Christopher is a good boy. I guarantee.**

**N: You know that even if he leaves innocent, you will still have to pay for what you did here.**

**\- I didn’t want to hurt anyone again, I was fine. I don’t care that they kill me, I just want my son to be safe.**

**N: No one will kill you.**

**\- Do not say what you can not promise.**

**S: Hey.**

**N: Good morning, soldier.**

Natasha stared at Steve, who showed up at the cabin.

**S: I fell asleep. What time is it?**

**N: Almost 9, the trial is about to begin.**

**S: How will we follow from here?**

**N: On the radio.**

Natasha managed to tune the radio. After about twenty minutes she got access to the radio system.

They heard the judgment, the defense began the speech.

While they were listening to the trial, Steve pulled a cereal bar from his pocket and handed it to Natasha. Natasha looked at him.

**N: Have you eaten?**

**S: Yes.**

**N: You’re a terrible liar.**

**S: I just want you to be fed. Eat, please.**

**N: Alright, granps.**

Natasha picked up the cereal bar and ate half. She held out the other half to Steve.

**S: Nat....**

**N: I'm satisfied. Eat.**

Steve sighed and picked up the rest of the bar and ate. When it was noon the judge stopped the audience for lunch. Steve looked at the leader.

**S: The defense went very well.**

**\- Better than the last time for sure.**

**S: It will be all right.**

**\- That's what I expect.**

The leader stepped out of the cabin to stretch his legs a little, leaving Natasha and Steve alone in the cabin. Natasha sat on the floor of the cabin, and leaned her back against the wall.

Steve sat on the floor next to her.

**S: Do you think his son will be free?**

**N: I have no idea.**

The trial began again at four o'clock, it was time for the prosecution to make the speech and present evidence. They were also good, but the defense was firmer. Some witnesses were heard and when it was 5o'clock the judge asked the jury to deliberate. Three hours later the judge asked the jurors what was the verdict and they declared Christopher innocent for lack of sufficient evidence against him.

The leader immediately knelt on the floor of the cabin, feeling weakened, he cried like a baby.

Natasha and Steve stood up.

**S: I did my part.**

**\- Thank you very much!**

**N: Let's get out of here. Surrender your weapons.**

**\- I'm sorry, Steve Rogers, you're a decent man, but...**

Natasha immediately frowned and touched the back of her pants to reach for her gun.

**\- I wish I could get out of here like I promised you, but what can I do?**

**S: You have nowhere to run.**

**\- Yes, I have.**

The leader pulled a long and sharp blade from the boot he was wearing.

Natasha thought it was a gun and that he would shoot Steve, so she immediately threw herself on top of Steve knocking him to the floor, standing over him, then she aimed the gun at the leader.

Natasha put her finger on the trigger and she just didn’t pull, because the leader had just cut his own throat. Natasha and Steve stared at him in shock.

Natasha got up and Steve soon after.

Natasha handed her gun to Steve because they would probably have to fight the other terrorists now. And that's what happened. As they opened the cabin door, a lot of shots were fired in the direction of the door.

Natasha looked at Steve and as soon as they stopped firing, Natasha told Steve to wait before moving on.

Natasha could see a shadow moving toward the cabin, Natasha already hoped that someone would have to come to check if they died or to finish the job.

As soon as the guy appeared at the door, Natasha tied a thin wire rope around his neck and used the man's body as a shield to go forward in the train. Steve provided cover and managed to shoot two terrorists and Natasha was in charge of shooting on the last remaining.

Steve and Natasha were panting and looked around.

**S: Come on.**

Natasha nodded.

Steve forced the doors of the train to open and left the train, followed by Natasha.

Steve ran toward the exit staircase, but as soon as Natasha stepped out of the train, Steve heard the sound of a gunshot.

Natasha fell to the floor, kneeling down. Steve ran toward her and looked into the train, one of the guys had crawled to the door and shot her.

Steve shot five times at the guy, then he approached Natasha and crouched, holding her waist.

**S: Natasha?**

**N: I'm fine.**

**S: You're shot.**

**N: I've had worse shots.**

**S: Can you walk?**

**N: Yes.**

Steve helped Natasha to get up, luckily the shot hit Natasha's thigh, very lightly which made her fall instantly.

Steve screamed for help and some paramedics came down to rescue, as the Police, who finally invaded the station to remove the bodies.

Natasha was taken to the nearest ambulance, Steve was watching, but the authorities needed his report about everything that happened in the train.

As soon as Steve had finished his testimony at the police station, Steve headed for the hotel where the rest of the Avengers were.

Steve entered the lobby and Clint was waiting for him, he greeted Steve by shaking his hand.

**S: Natasha?**

**C: She is all right. She is already drinking in the bar. I think you need a drink too. Let's go there.**

Steve followed Clint to the bar. There were several tables, Steve's eyes quickly searched for Natasha. As soon as he saw her, his lips formed a small smile, but his smile didn’t last much when he saw her with Bucky, but they weren’t doing anything, but drinking.

**C: I'm not staying, because Bobbi's in our room and... You know how it is, Cap. Long day...**

Steve grinned at Clint.

**S: All right.**

**C: But at least you'll have good company here.**

**S: Actually, I'm pretty tired. I'll leave the drink for another day.**

**C: Okay, Cap. Here's your key.** **We're all on the same floor.**

**S: I'll go along with you.**

Steve left the bar with Clint Barton.

Natasha was talking to Bucky about how Steve conducted the operation inside the train and how she was impressed by his power of persuasion and Bucky took advantage and told her some stories of Steve's bravery for her.

Natasha took the Martini's glass to her mouth, and took a brief look around, she saw Steve and Clint at the entrance to the bar and smiled, she thought Steve would join them. Bucky turned to see who she was looking at and he saw Steve heading for the elevator with Clint.

**N: Oh… I thought he'd come here.**

**B: He must be tired.**

**N: Yeah, but… I thought...**

Natasha made negative with her head.

**N: Never mind.**

**B: He didn’t see you, for sure. Otherwise he would have come to know if you’re fine.**

**N: I think so.**

**B: One more round?**

**N: Okay.**

Natasha and Bucky continued to drink and talk until late at night.

**N: I need to go to my room, now. I don’t even know if I can walk.**

**B: You were shot.**

**N: Shhh... shut up. Just pay the bill.**

Bucky opened his wallet and left a wad of notes on the table.

Natasha got up and she was staggering a little. Bucky helped her walk to the elevator. He walked in with her and pressed the button for the elevator to come up.

**N: What the hell is that vodka? Terrible. I think I should go to Russia and you should go with me, to take real vodka. Don’t you miss it?**

Bucky smiled and held Natasha by the waist. They reached the right floor and Bucky led her to the door of her room.

**B: Where are the keys, Natasha?**

**N: Hm... Here...**

Natasha put her hand inside her pants on the front and Bucky looked exactly where her hand went.

Natasha looked him in the eye and raised one eyebrow.

**N: It was not in my panties if that's what you’re thinking.**

Natasha turned to open the door to her room, and Bucky continued in the doorway and before Natasha entered the room, he pulled her wrist and pressed his body against hers, then he put his metal arm around her waist and made her turn to face him.

Natasha rested her hands on Bucky's shoulder and looked him in the eye with confusion. Bucky approached his lips to hers and gave her a long kiss. He kind of caught her off guard, he soon moved into the room, without letting go of her body, he walked to the nearest wall and pressed his body harder against her. He bit Natasha's lip and then moved his lips to her neck.

**N: Ja-James... Wait…**

Bucky continued to spread kisses all over on Natasha's neck until she pushed his face away from her.

**N: Barnes! Stop! I can’t do this right now.**

Bucky sighed, extremely frustrated. He was slow to let go of her body, he didn’t want to let her go, he wants to have her, he’s been waiting for this moment for so long.

Natasha glanced sideways to avoid eye contact with him, she doesn’t know if she gave the wrong signals for him tonight, she was drunk.

Bucky walked away from her.

**N: Barnes… Don’t be upset with me.**

**B: I'm not.**

**N: Yes, you are.**

**B: Good night, Natalia.**

Bucky left the room and slammed the door, showing how frustrated he was.

Natasha threw her head back and rolled her eyes, punishing herself for that.

Natasha removed her clothes, she threw herself on the bed and slept for one hour and woke up around 2am.

Natasha opened her eyes, snorted and hit the bed.

**N: Damn insomnia.**

Natasha got up and opened the curtain, the window was huge and the view of the night-time London was wonderful.

Natasha decided to call Hill.

**_H: Natasha, do you know what time is?_ **

**_N: Were you asleep?_ **

**_H: No, I was dancing in a cabaret, because that's what people do at 5 in the morning._ **

**_N: Okay, Hill, just listen to me._ **

**_H: Are you going to talk about man?_ **

Natasha was silent and Hill sighed.

**_N: Bucky kissed me._ **

**_H: You kissed and what else?_ **

**_N: No, I did not kiss him! He kissed me and I practically kicked him out of my room and now I can’t sleep._ **

**_H: Did you regret that? Go knock on his door, then._ **

**_N: I can’t, I'm married! And besides it’s not him that I want now..._ **

**_H: Well, you said yourself that because you moved out of Steve’s home, you already separated._ **

**_N: Yeah, but it's not just that. I want to have sex, after missions, I always want._ **

**_H: So?_ **

**_N: So, that it's not with Bucky that I want._ **

**_H: Who do you want? If you're calling me, I hope you're not wanting me... Oh, God, do you want Steve????_ **

Natasha was silent.

**_H: Jesus, Natasha. Why are you like this? You need to decide._ **

**_N: He is very good at it, I can’t help it. He knows my body very well and we spent a lot of time together today and I… I don’t know, but I was feeling very attracted to him and I had some drinks and now I'm much more horny than before._ **

**_H: And you called me for?_ **

**_N: For you to convince me to not knock on Steve's door now. Tell me it's a big mistake._ **

**_H: You know it's a big mistake because you don’t feel anything and he does, so the next morning will come all the drama and..._ **

**_N: But the last time we did it, he was fine, maybe today he..._ **

**_H: Natasha, I honestly don’t care. No matter what I say, you're going to do whatever you want anyway._ **

**_N: Thank you, Hill. You're the best._ **

Hill hung up the phone.

 _I will not sleep with Steve Rogers. I will not sleep with Steve Rogers._ Natasha repeated in her mind as she paced the room.

Natasha opened the closet and picked her silk nightgown and dressed it on, then she put a robe over and walked barefoot to the door and let go of her hair.

 _I'm just going to talk with him a little bit. Nothing else. Chatting is allowed._ Natasha would say as she opened the door.

Natasha knocked on Steve's door and waited, she leaned her ear on the door to hear if Steve was awake and at that exactly moment Steve opened the door and she took a fright.

Steve stared at Natasha in confusion.

**S: Romanoff?**

****


	21. Mission London - Final

**N: S-Steve, I...**

**S: Do you need anything?**

**N: Yeah... I can’t sleep.**

**S: Is it your leg?**

**N: Huh?**

**S: The shot... Is it hurting?**

**N: No, I even forget about that, I'm used to the pain.**

**S: So what won’t let you sleep exactly?**

Natasha shrugged her head, looking at Steve. She bit her lower lip staring at him.

**S: Well, maybe Bucky is still awake, he can keep you company.**

Natasha frowned, surprised that Steve mentioned Bucky, but she soon realized that he saw her with Bucky at the bar and already thought something was going on between them.

**N: He kissed me tonight.**

Steve slowly inspired the air and then let it escape slowly, showing all his anger and jealousy.

Steve looked away.

**S: Did you come here just to tell me that?**

**N: No, I just wanted to talk.**

**S: I'm tired, Romanoff. Good night.**

Steve tried to close the door, but Natasha put her foot on the door to prevent him of closing it.

**N: Why are you acting like this?**

**S: What do you want me to do???**

**N: Do you think I have something with Bucky?**

Steve didn’t answer, he just looked away again.

**N: You saw him with me at the bar, having dinner and a couple of drinks… as friends, that's all.**

**S: You said yourself that he kissed you and the other day, I saw you with him in the diner, on a date!**

**N: What???**

Natasha frowned.

**N: Were you spying on me?? Steve, I wasn’t in a date with Bucky that day, although I was attracted to him, but I couldn’t date him, being married to you.**

**S: Well, you're free now, Natasha. Do whatever you want.**

Natasha sighed.

**N: Can I come in?**

**S: I don’t think that's a good idea.**

**N: I just want to talk. I can’t sleep and as for as I can see you can’t sleep either.**

Steve rolled his eyes and opened the door. Natasha came in and sat on the edge of the bed. Steve closed the door and looked at her, but he stood next to the door. He does not trust being that close to her.

**N: I'm not going out with Bucky, Steve.**

**S: You can do whatever you want.**

**N: Yes, I can and I do what I want. That's why I'm here and not with him.**

Steve didn’t answer, he looked down and folded his arms.

**N: Fury thinks that, that witch can help me regain my memory by using her powers. What do you think?**

**S: It might work.**

**N: You don’t sound too excited with that.**

**S: I'm not in the mood right now.**

**N: Okay.**

Natasha stood up, sighing. She looked at Steve.

**N: Do you really want me to leave?**

Steve still didn’t answer, he stood still, staring at the floor.

Natasha walked to the door.

**N: Then I go…**

Natasha approached Steve who was standing at the door, she looked at him again.

**N: Good night.**

**S: Good night.**

**N: You're blocking the door.**

Steve looked at Natasha and he moved to the side, but Natasha moved to the same side as him, she almost bumped into his body.

Steve had his nose and forehead furrowed with anger, but he couldn’t move his gaze away from her eyes. Natasha just opened the robe she was wearing and let it fall to the floor.

**N: Are you sure you want me to go?**

Steve moved his gaze from her eyes to Natasha's lips, then to her chin... and then to her neck, and chest and stopped to stare at her belly.

Steve let out a big sigh. Natasha now leaned her body against Steve’s and tilted her head back a little to remain looking at him, but Steve was still trying to restrain himself from touching her.

Steve hold Natasha's face with both hands and pressed his lips to hers, and as soon as their lips connected, Steve hunted her tongue with his and caressed her tongue fiercely.

Steve soon slid his hand down to Natasha's neck and rested his hands for a few seconds on her shoulders feeling the straps of her nightgown.

Steve gently slid the strap of her nightgown down one by one. The silk nightgown slid down to her feet automatically, leaving most of Natasha's body naked. She was now just with that panties and bra on.

Steve stopped to kiss Natasha and looked into her eyes, he crouched a little and grabbed Natasha's body with only one arm. Natasha wrapped her legs around Steve's waist, interlacing her feet on Steve's back, who walked with her to the bed.

Steve threw Natasha’s body hard against the bed, making all of her hair flies to her face.

Steve removed his shirt, while staring at Natasha. Natasha rested her elbows on the bed and shook her head a little bit to remove a few strands from her face.

Natasha looked at Steve and she felt a little sick in her stomach or should I say that she felt that on her intimate part, because of all the desire and jealousy stamped on Rogers' face.

Natasha crawled back on the bed while Steve took off his underwear.

Steve grabbed her ankle and on a single movement he pulled her down, back to the edge of the bed.

Steve put his hands on each of Natasha's boobs and squeezed them tightly. Natasha bit her lower lip as she stared at the look of desire on Steve's face.

Steve tore her bra apart, making those beautiful and round boobs of Natasha move freely.

Steve tossed her bra away and grabbed Natasha's breasts again, one hand on each breast, he squeezed tightly and let her nipples squeeze between his fingers, making Natasha sigh of pleasure and pain at the same time.

Steve leaned over her and put his tongue out, then he placed his tongue on the base of her boob and slid it through her skin until reach her nipple.

**N: Oh God…**

Natasha moaned as she watched Steve's action and when he repeated the same action on her other boob, she threw her head back of pleasure.

Steve released her boobs for a second and then squeezed hard again, he placed his tongue between her boobs and slid up to her neck, making Natasha almost stutter.

Steve paused his lips on her neck and began to suck and lick the area, till leave a purple mark on her skin. Natasha moaned and moved her hand to her panties, she was so horny that she coulnd’t wait anymore, she needed to touch herself, but Steve grabbed her wrist and moved her arm to over her head. Natasha tried to lift her head from the bed, but Steve began to give hickeys all over her neck, and not yet satisfied, he spread hickeys on her cleavage.

Natasha was trying to release her arms from the bed, but Steve was pressing her wrists. He bit Natasha's nipple, which made her scream and look at him with a certain anger, mixed with pleasure, she doesn’t like bites and Steve knows that.

Steve slid his teeth down to Natasha's belly and nibbled her skin, making her body bent and almost sit down with the shiver she felt.

Steve lay down next to Natasha on the bed and ran his hand over her face, removing the hair from her face, he looked into her eyes for a few seconds and then brought his lips to Natasha's and she stretched her face to kiss him back.

Steve slid his hand down to her panties.

Natasha let out a short moan so close to Steve's mouth that made him go crazy.

Steve fingered Natasha's soft clit and he could already feel how wet she was. Steve slid his fingers to Natasha's opening and she moaned even more, moving her body on bed.

Steve watched her and he was loving every reaction in her body.

Natasha laid her hand on Steve's face and pulled him back to kiss, which Steve couldn’t refuse. He kissed her and while his tongue played with Natasha's, his fingers played with her clit, making her move her hips involuntarily, Steve could feel how stiff her clit was, he slid his fingers back into her opening and pretended he was going to introduce.

Natasha immediately let go of Steve's lips and began to gasp, waiting for him to penetrate her.

Steve was looking at her now and Natasha was scratching his face, as if begging for him to put his fingers inside her.

**N: Steve...**

**S: Hmm? You want this?**

**N: Yes...**

Steve ran his fingers up again to her clit and this time he was not so gentle, he moved his fingers up and down with a certain strength and speed.

Natasha started moaning loudly and brought her hand up to Steve's wrist, trying to remove his hand, she felt she was about to cum, Steve felt it too and approached his mouth to Natasha's ear whispering and nibbling her ear.

When the first orgasm struck Natasha's body, she had no control over her body for a few seconds, she stretched her legs and feet and all her muscles seemed to be contracted, Steve continued the movements and she pushed his face and tried again to make him stop, but it was late because she was having another orgasm, she sat straight with the spasm she had and her eyes rolled. Natasha's belly trembled as she screamed with the intense pleasure she had.

Steve finally stopped to touch her and he laid on the bed with his belly up, Steve smoothed his own cock and ran his hands over Natasha's back.

Natasha was still freeze, trying to recover.

Natasha looked at Steve's cock and then at him. She stood on the bed and then she sat on top of Steve.

Natasha lowered her head as she felt Steve's cock inside her, she began to move up and down slowly and gradually, she increased speed, Steve was completely red, the veins of his neck were appearing against the skin.

Steve moved his hips up and down, causing his cock to move harder against Natasha's opening.

Steve could barely make sounds with the strength he was doing, but on the other hand, Natasha couldn’t stop moaning. It didn’t take long and Natasha came again.

Steve sat up and hugged Natasha's waist, he kissed her shoulder, then he turned her body over, laying her face down, not removing his cock from inside her.

Steve kneeled on the bed and grabbed her waist to keep her body still and he started pumping her quickly from behind, this time they both were moaning loudly. Steve was grunting more than moaning.

Natasha grabbed the sheet and then tried to hold on the headboard, she was already cuming again.

Steve grabbed her hair and pulled it tightly until she was upright and sitting on his cock straight. Natasha turned her face a little, so she could see Steve and they both kissed again.

Steve let go of Natasha's hair and then he placed his hands on Natasha's intimate area, he again started to finger her clit and she started move her hips in circles over Steve's cock, making him cum right away.

Steve released her and Natasha stayed on all fours in bed, then she turned to look at Steve.

Steve lay down and Natasha crawled over him.

Steve was exhausted, from the mission and from the sex with Natasha, but she was still turned on. She gripped Steve's cock and smoothed it.

Steve sighed and looked at Natasha, he made negative with his head.

Natasha stared him.

**N: Are you completely done?**

**S: Yes.**

Natasha let out a brief sigh and lay down next to Steve.

Steve stared at the ceiling, catching his breath and Natasha watched him, he seemed to the thinking about something.

**S: How it will be tomorrow?**

Natasha lay on her side, facing Steve.

**N: I don’t know... But we don’ have to think about it now.**

Natasha laid her hand on Steve's chest and slid her index finger down to Steve's stomach, then she placed one leg over his body.

They both fell asleep, and when Steve woke up, it was 11 o'clock in the morning, he opened his eyes and blinked a few times. He looked at Natasha lying with her head on his shoulder and hugging him.

Steve didn’t want to move so he wouldn’t wake Natasha, but half an hour later, he heard knocks on the door.

Steve turned Natasha to the other side and kissed her forehead. He got up and put on his underwear again.

Steve opened the door.

**S: Bucky?**

**B: Good morning, Steve. I need to talk to you.**

**S: Could it be another time?**

**B: It’s about something that happened last night and…**

**S: I’m sorry, Bucky, but now it’s not the time.**

Steve glanced at Natasha sleeping on the bed and then to Bucky again.

**B: I understand, but let me know when you can, because it's important.**

The door to Clint's room was opened too and Bobbi appeared in the doorway, wrapped in a sheet and yawning.

**Bobbi: Good morning, guys.**

**S: Good morning. Sleep well?**

**Bobbi: Sleeping is not exactly the right word to describe the night.**

Clint put his head on the door and smiled at Steve and Bucky.

**C: Are we already preparing to leave or? Because I'm hungry and the breakfast at this Ritz hotel is wonderful.**

**Bobbi: And I want to go to Oxford Street, you know, I need to do some shopping.**

**S: Okay, Okay, guys. You can take the morning and half the afternoon to do your things, then I'll get in touch when comes the time to go back to America.**

**Bucky: Well, are you coming down for breakfast?**

**S: Hm. No. Not now.**

**Bucky: Okay. Come on then, Clint.**

Clint kissed Bobbi's lips quickly and went with Bucky to the hotel restaurant.

Steve closed the door, he took a shower and changed his clothes, he left the room to make a video call to Tony and report on the mission, and when he finished, Steve returned to the room.

Natasha was waking up now, she yawned and stretched her arms, then she looked at Steve already dressed.

**N: Oh, are we already leaving?**

**S: No, the others wants to spend some time here in London.**

**N: What time is it?**

**S: It's 11 am.**

**N: So we have time and you're very sexy in this outfit, I want you to come back to bed.**

Natasha patted the bed, looking at Steve.

Steve smiled and started unbuttoning his shirt.

**N: No! Don’t take off that outfit yet. I want you in it.**

Steve went back to bed and made love again with Natasha, this time it was fast.

Natasha walked to the bathroom.

**N: I want to go shopping too.**

**S: Bobbi is going, are you joining her?**

**N: No, I want you to go with me. I want to buy some things for the** **kids and no one better than Grandpa Rogers to know what they like. If you’re not busy, I mean.**

**S: All right. I’ll go with you.**

Steve was happy that Natasha wasn’t cold when she woke up, and he is happy that Natasha thought about the children, without him making her remember.

Natasha took a shower and left Steve's room, wearing one of his shirts. As soon as Natasha closed the door of Steve’s room, Bucky came out of the elevator and he saw Natasha wearing only Steve's shirt. They both looked at each other and Bucky seemed to be very angry.

**N: James?**

Bucky ignored Natasha, he went straight to his room and closed the door. Natasha sighed, but she didn’t want to justify herself, she’s not married to him, so she went to her room and changed her clothes.

After 15 minutes Natasha met up with Steve in the lobby of the hotel and the two went out to shop and also to know a little of London.

**S: That bridge, James has a thumbnail of that bridge.**

**N: I bet they would love to know this place. Do they usually travel?**

**S: No, I owe that to them. You know, with our work and your coma, it was impossible to travel.**

Steve and Natasha walked into toy store and Steve showed to Natasha, the dolls that Sarah likes and the games that James likes.

Natasha bought two gifts for each and Steve bought one for each. They decided to have lunch at an Indian restaurant, that has a view to the big London Eye.

Steve felt his cell vibrating and noticed it was the nanny Cindy calling him.

**S: I’m sorry, it’s the nanny. I have to answer.**

**N: Okay.**

**_S: Hey Cindy._ **

**_Cindy: Steve, I’m sorry but are you too busy?_ **

**_S: No, did something happen?_ **

**_Cindy: No… Nothing that bad but Sarah is crying a lot and calling for you._ **

**_S: I'll turn on the video, give it to her._ **

**_C: Okay._ **

Cindy activated the camera of her tablet and Steve did the same on his cell phone.

Sarah's cheeks were red and her nose was dripping with tears. Steve looked at her tenderly.

**_S: Hey princess. Why are you crying?_ **

**_Sarah: Da-daddy!!! Daddyyy!_ **

**_S: Hush, Sarah. Calm down. It's okay, Daddy is coming back today to get you and mommy is going to be back too. She's right here with me, do you want to see her?_ **

Sarah nodded and Steve pointed the camera at Natasha, who nodded and smiled at Sarah.

**_Sarah: I want my Daddyyyy!_ **

Sarah busted into tears again.

James appeared behind Sarah and waved to Natasha who waved at him.

**_N: Hey little boy!_ **

**_J: Did you bought anything for me in there??_ **

**_N: We bought, yes. For you and for the crying lady, but she'll only win her presents if she stops crying._ **

Natasha got up from the chair and she sat down on the chair next to Steve so the kids could see them both at the same time.

Sarah was now trying to calm down.

**_S: Look, Sarah, what we bought for you! It’s a very beautiful doll._ **

**_N: It's just like you, redhead with huge cheeks._ **

Sarah smiled.

**_N: Did you like it?_ **

Sarah nodded and ran her hand on her face wiping the tears.

**_J: And what about me?_ **

Steve searched inside the bag and showed a bunch of Xbox games.

**_J: YES!!!!_ **

**_S: I'm going to hang up now, we’re about to eat. James behave and Sarah calm down. I'll be there later, I promise._ **

Cindy picked Sarah up and James grabbed the tablet.

**_J: Mom, Dad, I lost two teeth! Look!_ **

James opened his mouth and pulled the camera to his face.

**_N: Oh my God, James, we're eating!_ **

James started to laugh on the other side.

**_J: Byyyyyyeeee._ **

**_S: Bye champion._ **

James dropped the tablet and ran back to play.

Natasha ended the call and she was smiling afterwards, just like Steve.

After finishing the meal, they both returned to the hotel, they picked up their stuff and came back to the United States.


	22. A Little Black Widow

As soon as the jet landed at the base of the Avengers, the Avengers said goodbye to each other and parted to go home.

Steve followed Natasha down the hall.

**S: Natasha?**

Natasha stopped and turned to him.

**S: I'll get the kids, will you come with me?**

**N: Yeah. I'll follow you in my car.**

**S: Alright.**

Steve got in the car just as Natasha got into hers. Steve headed for Cindy's house and Natasha went right behind him.

Steve and Natasha went to the door of Cindy's house and rang the doorbell. After a few minutes, Cindy opened the door.

**Cindy: Hello, guys!**

Cindy greeted Steve and Natasha.

**Cindy: KIDS! Your parents here!**

**S: Did they give you a lot of work?**

**Cindy: Just the usual.**

James had a toy sword in his hand and he came up running to the door, like a rocket, from the kitchen and screaming.

**J: DAAAAD!**

James jumped on Steve's lap and Natasha was feeling dislocated with all this situation, it was as if she was again in the picture of the perfect family and she is not like that and this frightens her.

James stepped down from Steve's lap and hugged Natasha, who smiled at him and handed his gift.

**N: This is for you.**

**J: Oh cool! Thanks, mom.**

Cindy's grandmother was approaching in an electric wheelchair, with Sarah sitting on her lap.

Steve looked at Sarah and held out his arms, but Sarah hugged Cindy's grandmother and turned her face away.

**S: Well, I thought you were missing dad.**

**Sarah: I don’t want to leave.**

**S: But aren’t you missing Dad and Mom?**

Sarah nodded.

**Sarah: But I want to stay with Grandma.**

**\- Oh my little angel, don’t worry Grandma will always be here for you whenever you want. But your father and your mother misses you very much and you must go home to hug them very tight to your heart.**

**Sarah: Can I come back to see grandma?**

**S: Sure, Sarah.**

**N: I thought you would want this thing I brought.**

Natasha took the doll out of the bag, Sarah peered sideways and raised her eyebrows.

Sarah came down from Cindy's grandmother's lap and walked over to Natasha, but she stretched her arms asking for her lap.

Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes.

**N: I thought you would want the doll.**

Natasha picked Sarah up.

**Sarah: The doll.**

**N: But you...**

**S: She misses her mother first.**

Steve handed the doll to Sarah who hugged the doll.

Sarah laid her head on Natasha's shoulder.

**S: Come on, James! Time to go. Cindy, thank you very much. Here's your money. See you later, Mrs. Johnson.**

**\- Oh, call me Ruby, son.**

**S: Okay, Ruby. Bye. Say bye to grandma, Sarah and James.**

**J: Bye.**

**Sarah: Bye grandma.**

James ran to the car and got in the back seat.

Steve walked to the car and opened the back door, so Natasha could put Sarah there.

Natasha put the seatbelt on Sarah.

**J: Come on, Mom.**

**N: James, I... I'm going home.**

**J: Noooo, you have to go home with us. Let's play theses new games with me, please.**

**N: James, I am tired.**

**Sarah: Come on, Mamma.**

**N: Tomorrow I'll see you. I promise.**

Steve looked away, Natasha closed the car door and looked at him.

**N: I'll see you at the Avengers Base tomorrow.**

Steve looked at Natasha and nodded, already showing his disappointment for her refusing to go home with him and the kids, but Steve didn’t argue.

Natasha got into her car and left.

Sarah got hysterical inside the car as soon as Natasha left because she wanted to spend some time with her. Steve had to stay a little more there to calm Sarah down.

Natasha arrived on her apartment, feeling exhausted from the trip yet. She rested her backpack on her shoulder and opened the door.

As soon as Natasha looked at the living room floor, there was pee and cat feces. Natasha looked at the open window and sighed.

 _Your fault, Natasha. All you had to do is was close the damn window!_ Natasha thought, she kicked the door shut and propped her backpack on the counter. Natasha cleaned the living room and went to take a shower.

It was already dark outside, when Natasha was finishing her bath in the tub. She got up and at the moment she grabbed the towel to dry, she stopped and inclined her ear toward the bathroom window.

Natasha frowned and went silent to try to hear the noise that caught her attention. Natasha was certain now.

Natasha got out of the tub and wrapped herself in the towel, she ran to the living room window, then she went out to the fire escape and saw a man fighting four guys. Two of them were already on the floor, unconscious. And the other 2 took turns to fight against the other man, who by the performance has much experience with fight.

Natasha didn’t understand who was the bad guys or the good ones in the fight. Natasha came down the stairs as fast as she could.

The mysterious man was wearing a bandana on his head, which made Natasha believe he was some burglar.

Natasha jumped up from the 2nd floor to the ground. She immediately attacked the man with the bandana, and now that she was facing him she could see that the bandana also covering his eyes, which is extremely odd.

The man turned his face to the side and lowered his head a little, he was breathing heavily, as if trying to identify her through the smell.

Natasha frowned and began to fight hand-to-hand with the man and she had to manage to keep herself wrapped in the towel.

Surprisingly the fight was practically a tie. As they fought, the two other guys took the opportunity to escape. The bandana man dodged and started to run to the end of the alley, he jumped the railing and disappeared into the dark.

Natasha frowned and she was about to pursue him, but she had to help the “victims”, but they weren’t actually victims, Natasha only noticed that, when she went to check their vital signs and found guns and drugs with them.

Natasha called the police and waited for them to arrive.

The policeman wrote down her testimony, while he was very distracted looking at Natasha's cleavage all the time.

Natasha described only the four men, she didn’t mention the one of the bandana, obviously she now knows that he is some kind of vigilante.

...

The next day, as Natasha had promised, she went to Steve's apartment to get the children.

Natasha knocked on the door and heard James shouting, "It's Mom, it's Mom!" James opened the door and smiled at Natasha.

**N: Are you ready?**

**J: Sarah doesn’t want to put her clothes on.**

Natasha came in but stood in the doorway, Steve appeared in the hallway with Sarah's dress in his hand, he looked at Natasha and then at James.

**S: What did I say about opening the door for strangers?**

**N: Am I a stranger??**

**S: That's not it, he didn’t even know it was you and he already opened the door.**

**N: Oh, that’s true, James. You can’t open the door without being sure of who is.**

**S: Are you okay?**

Natasha nodded.

Steve went back to Sarah’s bedroom and Sarah ran past him in her panties, she grabbed Natasha's legs and Natasha looked down to stare at her.

Natasha raised one eyebrow.

**N: Did you become a nudist?**

**Sarah: Let’s go, mama.**

**N: With no clothes? No way I’m taking you naked, Sarah.**

**Sarah: I'm feeling hot.**

**N: It's very cold outside, and even if you’re feeling hot, you're still a girl. Do you think I go out naked on the street?**

Steve came over and handed the dress to Natasha.

**N: Come, I'll dress you.**

Natasha took the dress and Sarah raised her arms. Natasha put her dress on.

**J: Oh! I'm going to take my pillow!**

**N: Pillow? For what?**

Natasha looked at Steve with an arched eyebrow.

**S: They want to sleep there.**

**N: What???**

Natasha told Sarah to get her shoes and asked James to get his backpack.

Natasha waited for the kids to leave to talk to Steve.

**N: You didn’t say anything about sleeping in my home.**

**S: They are your children too, Natasha. They asked for it, but if you don’t want it, I'll pick them later, no problem.**

Natasha sighed.

**N: It's not that I don’t want them there, it’s just because I don’t feel prepared for that.**

**S: It's just one night.**

Natasha sighed again.

**N: Okay. Nothing bad can happen, right?**

Sarah appeared in the living room with her shoes, she handed the shoes for Steve and Steve put one in her foot.

**Sarah: My pacifier.**

**S: I put in your backpack. But remember about Santa’s rules...**

**Sarah: I know!**

**N: Well, let's go! C’mon James!**

James came running, carrying the pillow.

Sarah got up to run after James, but Steve was still about to put the other shoe on her. Natasha grabbed Sarah in time, and made her lift her foot so Steve could put the other shoe on her.

**S: Okay, guys. Have fun.** **Give Dad a kiss.**

Sarah and James kissed Steve and waved, saying Goodbye.

...

As soon as Natasha got home, the cat was in the middle of the living room again.

**Sarah: Kitty!!!!**

**J: Yay, let's get him, Sarah.**

Natasha put Sarah on the floor and placed her backpack on the chair.

**J: What's his name?**

**N: This thing has no name, I already said that he is not mine. You can put him out.**

**Sarah: His name is Kitty!**

**N: Don’t give him a name because he will not stay.**

**Sarah: Mama, please. Please.**

**N: No!**

**J: We take care of him!**

**Sarah: Yes, we take care of Kitty.**

**N: You're not even here every day! When you’re not here who will take care?**

**J: We take him with us.**

**N: Look, I don’t pets.**

**Sarah: But he likes you, mama, don’t you Kitty?**

**N: Stop calling him like that, he won’t stay.**

**Sarah: He will! Yes!**

Natasha stared at Sarah, who practically threw the same defiant look back at her.

**N: I said no and I won’t repeat it again!**

Natasha approached the cat, she picked him up and put him out the window.

When Natasha turned around, Sarah was frowning and her face was all red, Natasha frowned.

**N: What is that? What she has?**

**J: Oh oh...**

**N: Oh oh?**

As soon as Natasha took a step, Sarah opened her mouth and just started screaming. Natasha's eyes widened, and she was almost chocked because she wasn’t expecting that, it seemed that she was being murdered or something.

James covered his ears.

Natasha approached Sarah who began to run in circles around the room until Natasha could get hold of her.

Sarah dropped herself on the floor and began to struggle with Natasha.

Natasha didn’t know what to do, she stood still and couldn’t reason anymore. She looked at James.

**N: What the fuck is happening???**

One of the neighbors knocked on Natasha's door.

Natasha opened the door and the woman looked inside the apartment and looked at Sarah making a scandal on the floor.

**\- Sorry, but I just heard those screams and I was scared, is everything okay here?**

Natasha glared at the woman and nodded.

**N: Yes, everything is fine.**

The woman didn’t believe everything was okay, she stepped inside and approached Sarah.

**\- Calm down, honey. My name is Christina. What happened? This woman hit you? Hurted you in any way?**

Sarah was so fake, that she stopped crying and nodded, confirming the question. Natasha almost had a stroke.

The woman looked at Natasha with a judgmental look.

**N: Stop lying, Sarah!**

**J: She's lying! Daddy said we can’t lie, Sarah!**

**N: And you can leave my apartment now.**

The neighbor inspected Sarah's body, looking for marks. Natasha approached the woman, ready to hit her and she herself stood up.

**\- If I hear them screaming again, I'll call the social service.**

**N: Do it! Do it and you will see what will happen to you and your family and all those pets that you have in your house. 10 puppies inside an apartment, does the law allow that? What about those birds, I’m pretty sure come of them are not even from America. Do you have the licenses? Well, I don’t think so, eh? Go take care of your yourself, goodbye.**

The woman became mute and stepped to outside the apartment, she raised her finger to talk, but Natasha closed the door on her face.

Natasha turned and looked at Sarah who was now smiling.

Natasha was shocked at Sarah's ability to change the expression on her face so easily, she looks like someone Natasha knows very well and that person... is herself.

**N: What the hell was that, Sarah???**

**J: You said a curse!**

**N: You never, ever do that again! Do you hear me? Never again. I swear I'll never let you come here again. It’s not this way that you can get things, much less lying. If she believed I beat you, the police would take you away from me and you'd never see me again. Would you like that to happen? Would you???**

Sarah made negative with her head.

**N: I am very disappointed with you, Sarah. I can’t even look at you right now. That was bad, you were a bad, very bad girl!**

Sarah lowered her head, it didn’t take long and she started to cry softly and this time the cry was real.

**N: Don’t!**

Natasha rolled her eyes and walked to her bedroom.

 _If she is thinking that I am moved by her tears, she is very much mistaken._ Natasha thought.

James appeared at the bedroom door.

**J: Hm… Mom?**

James was a bit scared of Natasha. Natasha was with her back to James and didn’t answer him.

**J: Can I watch TV?**

**N: Yes. Go…**

James came back in the living room and Sarah was curled up on the living room floor, hugging her knees.

James turned on the TV and looked at Sarah.

**J: Sarah? Do you want to seethe cartoon?**

Sarah made negative with her head, not looking at James.

**J: C’mon. Don’t be sad. I’ll put it on the channel you like.**

Natasha was doing her best to ignore Sarah. She went to the window and took a pair of binoculars to look at the street and the other buildings.

 _What the fuck, what am I feeling?_ Natasha didn’t understand the suffocation sensation she was having in her chest, it was as if she couldn’t breathe right.

Natasha walked to the door and then looked at Sarah standing in the same place on the floor, huddled and sniffing from crying.

Natasha rolled her eyes and walked around the room.

 _No, no, what she did was wrong. She has to learn. No, Natasha, no. Damn it, Natasha!_ Natasha thought as she walked into the living room, she caught Sarah in her lap and laid her head on her shoulder.

Natasha stroked Sarah's back until she stopped sobbing. Then she sat down on the couch and left her sitting on her leg.

Sarah still had her head on Natasha's shoulder. Natasha looked at her.

**N: Do you know why I fought with you?**

Sarah nodded.

**Sarah: The cat.**

**N: Yes, because of the cat and because you lied about me hurting you. You can’t do that and I don’t want to fight with you again and I don’t want you to cry, but you can’t dare me like you did, I'm your mother. Understood?**

Sarah nodded and her last tear rolled down her face, Natasha wiped her cheek with her hand and kissed her forehead.

**N: Do you want to watch the cartoon?**

Sarah nodded.

**N: Okay, let's watch with James.**

James lay down on the couch and laid his head on Natasha's leg. Natasha let out a small sigh and she smile, feeling cozy with their children with her in there.

**N: I'm hungry. Who wants pizza?**

**Sarah: Me, me!**

**J: Me!!!**

**N: Alright. I'll order now.**

Natasha ordered for two pizzas over the phone for them to have lunch and in the evening she asked for two more for them to dine.

The kids were enjoying eating so much crap in one day.

Natasha played video games with James, she helped Sarah draw, she kept very busy with them. L

Later at night, Natasha was on the phone with Hill, and James as always, was in front of the TV. Sarah had gone to Natasha's bedroom for over one hour, but Natasha didn’t even care to go there to check her, she thought Sarah had fallen asleep or something.

Natasha left the phone and looked at James.

 **N: Okay. I guess it’s time to sleep, so I'll fix everything here for you** **to sleep.** **Where's Sarah?**

**J: In your bedroom, I guess.**

Natasha walked into the bedroom and she widened her eyes, seeing that Sarah was scribbling across the walls of her bedroom.

Sarah looked at Natasha and smiled broadly.

**Sarah: Look mama, I made it for you.**

Natasha put her hand on her forehead and she was going to fight Sarah, but there were so many hearts on the wall and Sarah's smile was so sincere… Sarah really wanted to do something special for Natasha and that touched Natasha immensely.

**N: I…**

Natasha sighed.

**N: I loved it.**

Sarah smiled even more. She asked for a lap and Natasha picked her up and hugged her tightly.

Natasha walked into the living room with her and put her on the couch.

Natasha took out mats and bedding. She spread the mats on the floor.

**J: Will we sleep on the floor?**

James was already twisting his nose.

**N: Yes.**

**J: But...**

Natasha looked at James.

**N: Would you rather go home?**

James shook his head.

Natasha arranged everything.

**N: You can lie down.**

Sarah took off her shoes and jumped from one mat to another.

**N: Sarah it’s time to sleep now. Stop jumping.**

Sarah sat down and then lay down. James lay down beside her. Natasha was going to turn out the light, but she looked at James and identified fear in his eyes.

She turned on the hallway light and turned off the living room lights. James was totally relieved now. Natasha winked at him and he smiled.

Natasha went to the bedroom and the kids went to sleep. Everything was going very well. Better than the expected.

Natasha was already in bed, trying to sleep, it was about 1am. Suddenly Natasha hears Sarah crying, Natasha ran up and went into the living room.

**N: Sarah?**

**Sarah: Daddy!**

Natasha approached her and took her in her lap, placing a hand on her head.

**N: Shh... you're going to wake James up.**

Natasha took her to her bedroom and sat with her on the mattress.

**Sarah: Daddy, Daddy.**

**N: Sarah, shhh… Daddy's home, tomorrow you'll see him.**

It didn’t do any good for Natasha to say that, Sarah cried even more. She never spent the night in a strange place before, either she sleeps at Cindy’s house or at home with Steve.

Natasha reached for her cell phone and called Steve. Steve answered the call almost immediately, he was kind expecting that something would happen during all day.

**_S: Nat, did anything happen?_ **

**_N: Yes! Sarah has woken up now and she is crying, wanting you._ **

**_S: Okay, just get her pacifier in her backpack._ **

**_N: Okay, but don’t leave the phone._ **

Natasha left Sarah on the mat and ran to the living room to pick the pacifier.

Sarah picked up the phone, that Natasha left on the mattress and started crying again, calling Steve.

**_Sarah: Daddy! I want to go home._ ** **_Come pick me..._ **

**_S: Sarah, listen to me, it's okay, Mom's there. Stop crying. I'll get you tomorrow morning very early. You will sleep and when you wake up I’ll be right there with you._ **

Sarah totally ignored what Steve said and continued to cry and louder.

Natasha came back running and stuffed the pacifier in Sarah’s mouth, but when Natasha picked up the phone and called Steve's name, Sarah spat the pacifier and started crying again.

**_N: Oh my God! Oh my God! Steve, you have to come here!_ **

**_S: Natasha..._ **

**_N: Please! Come here!!! I don’t know what to do! I need your help! I’m desperate! Pleaseee!_ **

**_S: Okay. Give me half an hour and I’ll be there._ **

**_N: Okay._ **

Natasha hung up and took Sarah in her lap again. She gave her pacifier again and laid her on her lap.

**N: Okay, done, Daddy's coming. Don’t cry anymore Please, I can’t stand you crying.**

Now Sarah was just grunting, looking at Natasha.

Natasha went to the living room and rocked her in the lap, because that made Sarah quieter. Fifteen minutes later, Sarah fell asleep again.

Natasha breathed a sigh of relief.

Steve rang the bell.

Natasha put Sarah back on the mat and opened the door.

**S: Emergency.**

**N: Oh, thank God, Steve!**

**S: Where is she?**

**N: She just fell asleep.**

**S: See? That's how it is, she is not used to this apartment, but having** **you here she would go back to sleep for sure. No need to panic.**

**N: I almost died!**

Steve laughed at Natasha. He didn’t even enter the apartment.

**S: Well, I'm going then.**

Natasha hold Steve's wrist and he looked into her eyes instantly.

**N: Please don’t.**

**S: She's fine.**

**N: She can wake up. It would be better if you were already here.**

**S: Natasha...**

**N: Steve... Please. Just this time**

Steve sighed and Natasha's eyes were pleading.

**N: Don’t go.**

Steve nodded, he came in and closed the door.

Steve looked at James and Sara asleep on the floor and smiled, then he looked at the two-seater couch and was already wondering how badly he would sleep there.

Natasha was watching him and understood what he was thinking.

**N: You can sleep with me.**

Steve looked at her with raised eyebrows.

**N: I mean just sleep. It’s one night... There is no problem, right?**

**S: I don’t think so.**

Natasha was a little embarrassed and even regretted to mention only sleeping, because she knows herself very well. Natasha walked into her bedroom and Steve followed her.

**S: You need to buy a bed.**

**N: On the floor is better.**

_Dammit, Natasha._ Natasha blamed herself for releasing that phrase, it was totally double-entender, so much that Steve is flushed now.

**N: It's safer. But I'll buy one when I have time.**

**S: I can help you with that.**

**N: Are you my husband or savior?**

**S: Maybe both.**

****

They both grinned at each other until they could no longer smile, just to look at each other. A heavy tension took place in that bedroom.

Natasha let out a long breath and walked to the mattress, lying down on it. Steve remained still watching her for a while, he was sure he could reach her now if she hadn’t looked away. It seems that she forces herself to block him in her heart.

Steve took off his shoes and shirt.

Natasha saw him shirtless and opened her mouth.

**N: I think you better get your shirt on.**

**S: I can’t sleep dressed.**

**N: It's just that...**

Steve picked the shirt and put it back. He lay next to Natasha and she placed the duvet covering them both.

Natasha lay on her side, with her back to Steve, and Steve lay with his belly up, but he watching Natasha and she could feel it.

Natasha closed her eyes tight and everything that went through her mind was: No, Natasha, no way this will happen again.


	23. Was that a dream or a memory?

"Sounds of the engines of cars and motorcycles on distance, followed by the loud sound of an ambulance siren. But the sound is far away. There are voices talking. Talking? No. Not talking, arguing. Yes... They are arguing. The sound of the siren increases more and more, my body jolts so much. Why the fuck are they arguing so much? You're all making me nervous, please stop. I open my eyes and I see lights, I feel my breathing being altered. Why are you shaking me so much? Come on! This pain in my belly. That siren. Am I injured? Why does it hurt so much? You guys are arguing but I need help, please help me. It really hurts. I close my eyes and I feel my hand being hold very tight, I sigh and open my eyes again. Who are you holding my hand? Why is your face erased? Why do you your touch make me calmer? I can handle this pain for you. Who are you? This pain... Can you make it stop? Help me, please help me. Why are they yelling at me like that? Push? They want me to push? I can’t! I can’t push! It’s hurting a lot. I'm so sorry. I can’t see anything else, I can only hear people running around me. My hand. He's still holding my hand. Who's crying? Is there a baby crying? Is it a girl? A baby girl? Why is she crying? Why is she crying? Make her stop."

**N: Don’t let her cry. Don’t cry... Don’t cry. I’m here…**

Natasha moved her head on the pillow, she was having an intense dream.

**N: I’M HERE!**

Natasha screamed.

**S: Nat??? Natasha?**

Steve laid his hands on Natasha's shoulders and she abruptly opened her eyes and sat down. Natasha was breathless and sweaty. She tried to catch her breath as Steve sat down and looked at her with extreme concern.

**S: Natasha? Are you alright?**

Natasha closed her eyes for a few seconds and then nodded.

**N: I... It was just... just a dream.**

Natasha opened her eyes and looked at Steve, but she stared at him different this time, she seemed confused.

**N: It was you.**

**S: Me?**

**N: You. You gave me your hand in my dream. I was inside of an ambulance, then I was in the hospital and you were there with me. Holding my hand and there was a baby crying.**

**S: Do you think it might be a memory of Sarah's birth?**

**N: I don’t know.**

**S: For what you described it seems like her birth.**

Natasha rubbed her forehead and Steve put his arm around her stomach and made her lay down again.

**S: Calm down… It was just a dream. Take a rest. I'm here, it's okay.**

Natasha looked at Steve and sighed.

Steve lay on his side, turned to Natasha, and he spent the night stroking Natasha's arm, who closed her eyes and tried to sleep again.

Natasha managed to sleep for an hour, but she began to dream again and she had to force herself to wake up again.

Natasha opened her eyes and Steve's eyes sparkled even in the dark, he was looking directly at her and stroking her belly with this anesthetic effect.

**S: You can’t sleep anymore, huh?**

Steve whispered.

Natasha made negative with her head.

**S: Do you want me to stop?**

Natasha shook her head again, looking at Steve. Steve laid his hand on Natasha's belly and used the other to stroke her forehead.

**N: I want to try to remember. I really want.**

Natasha bit her lower lip.

**S: I know.**

**N: Steve…**

Natasha sighed while looking him in the eye.

**N: I wish I could feel right now everything that you feel for me, but...**

**S: Sh... You don’t have to explain. You're not guilt for losing your memories.**

**N: I know that, but… I just don’t want you to think that... It's complicated to explain. I thought it was just sex that attracted me to you, but it's not. Steve… I like being close to you. I love you when you touch me, I love you when you kiss me and I love you like you always stroke my hair and my skin…**

**S: But...?**

Natasha pulled the air to speak, but she didn’t utter a word.

**S: That's not enough.**

**N: No. Not to be with you, only you. I feel attraction for other people too.**

Steve looked away, showing a trace of jealousy. Natasha reached up to Steve's shirt and laid her hand on his chest.

**N: Listen to me. Steve?**

Steve looked at her, somewhat unpatiently.

**N: I just think you deserve someone better than me.**

Steve laughed mockingly.

**S: Better than you? You don’t understand, Natasha. I always have to remind you of the wonderful person you are. You don’t have to think that you’re not good enough for someone, even if that someone is me.**

**N: It's just that I'm not a good person.**

**S: Yes, you are. And I will not admit you’re saying the otherwise. I would never fall in love with you if you were bad. You may not remember everything, but your essence hasn’t changed because of the accident. You got on the train and even tried to save me because there's a lot of kindness in you, Natasha Romanoff.**

**N: Not as much as you.**

****

Natasha smiled and Steve smiled back.

Natasha placed her hand on his face and she stroke his face a little bit. Steve was looking straight into her eyes.

Natasha lifted her head from the pillow and brought her face closer to Steve, who was not even moving. Natasha kissed Steve's cheek and closed her eyes. She opened her eyes slowly, staring into his eyes and then she kissed the corner of Steve's mouth, closing her eyes again.

Natasha's lips parted slightly and she brushed them lightly over Steve's lower lip, who automatically opened his mouth, but he couldn’t stop looking at Natasha yet.

Steve could feel Natasha's breath caressing his lips and Natasha's equally. Natasha fit her bottom lip between Steve's lips and touched the tip of her nose to Steve's nose. Their breathing was now just one, and she could swear that their heartbeats were also in the same rhythm.

Steve waited as long as he could, until he could no longer contain himself and he sucked hard her lip and stroked the tip of her tongue, with his. Steve pressed his mouth against Natasha's, making her lay her head back on the pillow, so he was more comfortable exploring her mouth.

Steve put both hands on Natasha's face and tilted her face to one side only to be able to dip his tongue into her mouth and explore in depth the length of Natasha's tongue. Natasha stroked Steve's arm as she returned his touches.

Steve kissed her for so long, that Natasha was already out of breath, she was pulling air through her nose with a certain force, just like Steve was and it was inevitable to feel the air of each other like that and not get chills all over theirs bodies.

Steve ran his hand down to Natasha's neck and she was still stroking his arm. Steve moved his body to be over Natasha’s, leaving only some space to move his hand through the silhouette of her body.

Natasha took her other hand to Steve's back and slid her hand under his shirt, stroking and pulling Steve's back, making him press his body more against hers.

Natasha lifted her thigh slightly, leaving it between Steve's legs. She lifted her thigh until she could feel his cock through his pants and then she moved her leg up and down, brushing against him. Automatically the kiss began to mingle with involuntary groans.

Natasha moved her lips away from Steve’s and then placed her mouth on his neck, to nibble and kiss the area.

**S: We can’t make much noise.**

**N: So don’t make me scream.**

**S: This is a bit difficult.**

**N: It's not. I’ll show you...**

Natasha pushed Steve to lie down next to her with his belly up. Steve stared at Natasha without knowing what she was going to do.

Natasha got to her knees and opened Steve's pants, he was without his underwear and his cock was already erect. Natasha lowered Steve’s pants a little, with his help, she gripped his cock and looked at his face to see his reaction.

Natasha gave a smile because Steve was completely red. He wasn’t even looking at her anymore, he laid his head on the pillow and looked up, as if trying to control himself as much as possible.

Natasha bit her lower lip, still smiling, and began to smooth Steve's cock up and down slowly. Steve lifted his arms over his head and bit his arm, breathing heavily as Natasha was doing her thing.

Natasha continued the movement and increased the strength and speed with which she smoothed Steve's cock. Steve was completely stiff he looked at Natasha with spark in his eyes.

**S: N-Nat... I want you.**

**N: Shhh... I can’t.**

**S: Why?**

**N: Because you're going to make me scream.**

**S: Oh... But I really need you right... I… you...**

Steve couldn’t speak right.

**N: Sh...**

**S: I'll go slow. Please… Let me have you.**

**N: But I won’t go slow, just be quiet, I don’t want to wake the kids.**

Steve had to be quiet because his body became even more stiff when he finally came. Natasha slowed her moves as Steve began to cum. She only massaged his cock while Steve relaxed his back on the mat.

Natasha lay next to Steve, smiling. Steve could only move his head to the side to look at her.

**S: You're very good.**

**N: I know.**

Natasha smirked.

**N: You need to take a shower...**

**S: I know...**

**N: I mean now, because it’s already dawning. And if the kids wake up...**

**S: Oh... Right. Just a minute. I can barely move.**

**N: Stop being exaggerated.**

**S: You saw the amount...**

**N: Yes and I'm impressed with that. That's probably why you got me pregnant so easy.**

They both laughed.

Steve got up and removed his pants. Natasha threw a pillow for him to put in front of his cock and Steve ran into the bathroom and took a shower. He came back into the bedroom and put on the clothes that he came with.

**S: It's almost 7 and Sarah hasn’t woken up again, it's a record.**

**N: Does she usually wake up all the time?**

**S: No, only when she sleeps outside. Because she's not used to it. I must go now.**

Natasha looked at Steve without understanding.

**S: It's daylight, they won’t cry.**

**N: Are you even going to pay me breakfast after I made you cum that way? I mean, I think I deserve it.**

Natasha joked as she stood up.

**S: They didn’t see me here, I don’t want them to get used to me coming every time they sleep here.** **They have to think that their mother is not a fearful mother.**

Natasha was tidying up the bed as Steve spoke, she took another pillow and flung it into him. Steve laughed, grabbing the pillow.

**N: You're right. I walk you to the door.**

Natasha walked into the living room with Steve and they said their goodbyes formally, without drama, without resentments on both sides. Natasha saw Steve going downstairs.

**N: The elevator is working.**

**S: I prefer the stairs.**

Steve ran downstairs and Natasha closed the door, smiling at herself. She looked at the sleeping children and she was about to return to her bedroom when she heard the doorbell rang.

Natasha frowned.

 _Steve forgot something_. Natasha thought.

Natasha opened the door and it wasn’t Steve.

There were two men in front of Natasha. One of them was obviously blind, he was holding a stick and had a pair of red sunglass in his face and the other was a blond man with a big smile on his face.

**N: Can I help you?**

**\- Good morning, Mrs. Romanoff?**

**N: Yes.**

Natasha frowned suspiciously.

**\- Hi, my name is Foggy Nelson, and this is my partner Matt Murdock.**

Natasha was still frowning.

**\- We are lawyers at Nelson & Murdock Attorneys at Law, and we are  here today representing Steve Rogers.**

Natasha was still staring at them in confusion.

**N: Steve? Representing him in what?**

**Matt: The Divorce Process.**

****

**N: What???**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, Steve, just when Natasha admitted she was starting to feel something!


	24. Remedy

**Matt: Can we come in?**

Natasha looked at the children sleeping and then at the two men in front of her.

**N: My kids are asleep. I... I didn’t ask for a divorce.**

**Foggy: Actually, Steve came to us and asked to initiate the paperwork and he said that you were both agreed on that, so all you have to do is sign the document.**

Natasha frowned, somewhat incredulous that Steve had entered the divorce process and didn’t comment about it with her.

Natasha was sure she wanted to divorce, but she didn’t go to the lawyers, but he did. So that means he doesn’t love her that much anymore. Maybe she caused that when she left his home and flirted with his best friend.

**Foggy: Here, we wait here for you to sign. We don’t want to wake the kids.**

Natasha held the paperwork in her hands and stared unremittingly.

Matt could feel Natasha's altered breathing and her heartbeats.

**Matt: Let's do this way. I have another appointment now, you keep the document and tomorrow I return to pick it up. Okay?**

Foggy looked at Matt confused, because they had no appointments at all.

Natasha nodded.

**N: Okay...**

Natasha sighed.

Foggy and Matt said good-bye and Natasha closed the door, she looked at the document and then at the children.

Natasha is so angry at Steve now for not saying anything to her. She set the document on the counter and James woke up.

James sat down and looked at Natasha.

**J: Mom?**

James yawned and scratched his eye. Natasha stood with her back to James, she was so angry now that she didn’t want to deal with anyone, even more with children.

**J: Mom?**

**N: Yes, James?**

**J: Good morning.**

Natasha took a deep breath, trying her best to stay calm, after all the kids have nothing to do with it.

Natasha turned and looked at James.

James is very handsome, he has red hair, a bit lighter than hers, half flat and half curled hair, he has more freckles on his face than Sarah, and he looks like he has much energy to spend. Natasha smiled involuntarily staring at him.

**N: Good morning.**

**J: Can you lie down here?**

**N: Hm...**

**J: Just a little bit. Please.**

**N: Okay.**

Natasha was in doubt if she should, but she walked over to the mattresses and lay between James and Sarah. As she lay down, James hugged Natasha's waist and laid his head on her belly. Natasha stroked James' hair and looked at Sarah, who was holding the pacifier in her mouth and drooling the entire pillow.

Natasha completely forgot that she was angry, in fact she never felt so calm and at peace as now. She didn’t even realize that the children are the ones who make her feel better. Natasha ended up sleeping again and James too.

A few hours later Natasha's cell phone started ringing, which made her wake up. Natasha stood up, trying not to wake the children, but Sarah began to grumble.

Natasha went to the counter and saw that it was Steve calling her, and she decided to ignore the call.

**Sarah: Daddy?**

Sarah was still with her eyes closed, but she sat down, grunting.

**N: Sarah, please do not call for him now.**

Sarah threatened to cry, but Natasha took her in her lap and made her lay her head on her shoulder. Sarah stopped crying and it took her about ten minutes to really wake up. She lifted her head and looked at Natasha.

**Sarah: Mommy?**

**N: A bottle? I know. I'm going to prepare for you.**

Natasha placed Sarah on the couch and took her bottle from her backpack. As Natasha always handle her the box of milk, she didn’t even heat the milk, she put it straight into the bottle and handed it to Sarah, who took the bottle and lay on the couch to feed.

Natasha's cell phone rang again and it was Steve again.

Natasha rejected the call again.

Steve noticed that she hung up and decided to send a message.

"Did the children wake up? Are they fine?"

"Why wouldn’t they be?"

Natasha replied.

...

Steve was slow to answer, because Natasha was being cold, he doesn’t know the reason for the aggressive tone, but she changes her mood so easy that Steve thought it was normal.

"We need to go to Base, we have a meeting. Can you leave the kids at Cindy’s?"

"Yes."

Natasha replied.

"Okay. I'll see you there."

Natasha felt like throwing her cell phone against the wall. Why is she so angry anyway? That's what she wanted.

Natasha sighed in anger. It's one thing to dismiss someone, another is to be dismissed by someone.

 _Who does he think he is?_ Natasha thought.

**N: James? James! Wake up! Come on!**

**J: What?**

**N: C’mon. Get up, wash your face and let's go.**

**J: Where?**

**N: Cindy.**

**J: I need to take a shower.**

**N: No, take a shower there.**

**J: I can’t go dirty.**

Natasha frowned and sighed.

**N: Okay, James go take a shower. But be quick.**

**Sarah: I don’t want to take a bath.**

**N: Great, because I'm in a hurry.**

James ran to the bathroom and locked the door.

Natasha and Sarah looked at the window because the cat was scratching the glass, wanting to get inside. Sarah looked at him.

**Sarah: Kitty! He is hungry**

**N: No!**

Sarah: But he's hungry. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, please, Mommy.

**N: SARAH!**

**Sarah: Just a bottle for the kitten.**

**N: Oh! Okay, Sarah. But put the milk there in the window, don’t let him come in.**

Natasha knocked on the bathroom door.

**N: James? Let’s go.**

**J: I'm finishing.**

**N: Okay.**

James fumbled with the knob and he couldn’t open the door.

**J: Mom?**

**N: What, James?**

**J: I can’t open the door.**

Natasha stirred the doorknob, and she couldn’t open it either.

**N: Did you lock it?**

**J: I think so.**

**N: So unlock it!**

**J: I'm trying, but the key does not spin.**

**N: It was just what I needed! Look, James. I want you to go far away from the door. Stay there in the tub, without moving.**

**J: Okay.**

**N: Are you in there already?**

**J: I am.**

Natasha stepped a few inches from the door and kicked it hard, breaking the lock. James looked at her, shocked but proud.

**N: Come on, go to the living room. I'll get ready.**

James went into the living room and Natasha was in her bedroom, grabbing a suit and towel.

When she came back into the hall to go to the bathroom, she faced James.

**J: Mom, where's Sarah?**

**N: In the living room.**

**J: She's not.**

Natasha rolled her eyes impatiently and went into the living room. She looked around and didn’t see her.

**N: Sarah? Are you playing hide and sick? You know I don’t like that...**

Natasha went to the kitchen counter to see if she was hiding there, but she was not. Natasha frowned and went into the bathroom and into the bedroom again.

**N: SARAH!**

**Sarah: Mommy!**

Natasha could hear Sarah calling her, but the sound didn’t come from inside the apartment. Natasha looked at the open window and her heart froze. She looked at the fire escape and Sarah was sitting there with the cat on her lap.

**N: SARAH!**

Natasha pulled her by the arm and then put her inside the apartment again.

**N: Are you crazy? Never! Never get out of here without telling me! This ladder is dangerous. You could have fallen down there!**

**Sarah: I'm sorry, Mommy.**

**N: It’s the second time you do something very wrong... Next time, I swear I’ll beat your ass.**

Sarah lowered her head and started to cry, but Natasha ignored her, she closed the window and went to take a shower and when she finished the bath, she took the children to Cindy's house.

Natasha headed for the Avengers' base. She was the last to arrive for the meeting.

As soon as she entered the Base, JARVIS greeted her on the entry screen.

**_JARVIS: Miss. Romanoff, you're late._ **

**N: Don’t tell me, really?**

**_JARVIS: I must remind you that Mr. Stark does not tolerate delays._ **

**N: JARVIS?**

**_JARVIS: Right?_ **

**N: Will you do me a favor? Reminds Mr. Stark to fuck off.**

**_JARVIS: This is an unusual reminder. Is it urgent?_ **

**N: Yes, it is. Please deliver to him immediately.**

Natasha boarded the elevator, and while the meeting with all the Avengers was taking place in the mini auditorium, JARVIS took over the display.

**T: JARVIS? What is it?**

**_JARVIS: Sorry to interrupt, but I have an urgent message from the Black Widow for you, Tony._ **

Steve, Tony, and the others silenced themselves by paying attention.

**_JARVIS: She told you to fuck off._ **

Clint Barton and Sam Wilson began to laugh, hysterically. Tony frowned as Natasha finally entered the room, she looked at Clint and Sam laughing like crazy.

**N: Well, apparently you got my message.**

**T: Very funny, Romanoff.**

Natasha forced a smile and then she searched for a place to sit.

Natasha sat down in one of the first row chairs. Steve smiled as soon as he saw Natasha entering the auditorium, but she didn’t make eye contact with him.

**S: Well, as we were talking about... The government is controlling our actions more closely, wanting to check how we are spending our money and our time.**

**T: Oh... Just a minute… Our money? My money.**

**S: Anyway… The prosecutor Ellie, verified that there are exaggerated expenses with food.**

**C: Food never hurts.**

**Thor: Food is what keeps us active!**

**S: Actually guys, this is just about you two this topic. Ordering 12 pizzas every night will not happen anymore.**

**C: Oh! But what? We ask 12 pizzas because we like 12 different flavors!**

**S: Pick a flavor and ask just that, Barton.**

**C: But I love all 12 flavors.**

**S: Thor, it was also talked about the amount of broken ware for no apparent reason.**

**Thor: It means I'm happy!!!**

**S: That has to stop.**

Natasha holds up her hand.

**N: I have a question.**

Steve looked at Natasha, who finally looked at him, but it was a cold look.

Natasha raised her eyebrow.

**N: How was your last night, Rogers?**

Steve frowned and blushed, not understanding Natasha's question.

**S: Normal, I think.**

**N: Oh... Normal? Only normal?**

**S: Natasha...**

**N: The funny thing is that it didn’t seem to be just normal to you last night.**

**T: Ooooh! Oh my God!!! Are we making sex puns??? She is talking about sex, isn’t she???** **JARVIS?**

**_JARVIS: Yes, Mr. Stark?_ **

**T: Can you film this?**

**_JARVIS: Yes sir._ **

**S: Natasha, what are you...**

**N: Oh...**

Natasha placed her hand on her mouth, pretending to be shocked.

**N: I said too much. I’m so sorry.**

**S: I don’t understand.**

**N: Oh you don’t?**

Natasha removed the pile of paper that was folded into the inside pocket of her jacket, then she looked brief to Carol Danvers, who was sitting right next to her.

**N: Do you have a pen?**

Carol handed her a pen.

Natasha signed the last page of the document. She got up, walked to Steve and set the papers on the table, right in front of him, she was still looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

**N: Do you understand now?**

Steve looked at the title on the first page of the document. It was the divorce paperwork. Steve's heart froze instantly, he completely forgotten that he had filed for divorce, and he only did that because that was what Natasha wanted.

Steve stayed a long time, staring the papers until he looked up at Natasha again. Natasha still stared at him with a raised eyebrow.

**N: You’re a divorced man, now. Congratulations.**

Natasha turned around and left the auditorium.

All the Avengers were now mute, looking at Steve, not knowing what to say.

**T: Well, I think...**

**Pepper: Tony, shut up, for God's sake!**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. It's done, guys


	25. I Don't Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I got so many comments that I decided to update faster. Thanks

**S: Excuse me.**

Steve apologized to his Avengers colleagues and ran out of the room after Natasha. He saw her walking quickly through the corridors.

**S: Natasha! Natasha wait!**

Natasha didn’t stop, she turned in another corridor and Steve ran until he reached her. He took her by the arm and made her turn to him.

**S: Natasha!!!. What was that?**

****

**N: That what? Oh, actually, I was wondering the same thing. What was this shit, Steve? You had fun last night, enjoying yourself in my hand and the next day handing me the divorce paperwork? That was so fucking low and dirty! I thought you were honest, I thought you were different. They told me you were and I believed and now I feel so stupid to have fallen for the story that you're a good man, but  you are a man, just like the others.**

Natasha pulled her arm to free herself from Steve and tried to walk away, but Steve grabbed her arm again. He took both of her arms and leaned her against the wall. He wanted so badly that she would stop to listen to him, that he didn’t measure the strength that he held her.

**S: You have to listen to me!**

**N: I don’t have to do anything!**

**S: Natasha, I just...**

**N: Let me go!**

**S: You have to let me explain.**

**N: I don’t want to hear! You are hurting me. Let go of me!**

Steve looked at his hands in Natasha's arms and was red around where his hands are, he didn’t realize the strength he was wearing. He released her immediately.

**S: I'm sorry. I’m so sorry.**

In fact, that didn’t hurt Natasha but she knew that he would let her go and even feel bad thinking that he really hurt her, and the more she can hurt him now, better.

Natasha walked to the elevator.

**N: The worst thing is that I was willing to try again. I was about to call Fury for him to schedule with the witch Wanda, but now...**

**S: Won’t you try anymore?**

**N: I don’t know, Steve. Probably not.**

Natasha stepped into the elevator and left behind a frustrated and disappointed Rogers.

Steve punched the wall angrily and it still took him a few minutes before returning to the auditorium.

As soon as Steve returned to the auditorium, Tony was crazy to make jokes, but the look of sadness on Steve's face made him remain quiet. So did all the other Avengers, who were quietly listening to what Steve had to say about the Avengers Base spending cuts.

After the meeting, Steve got in the car to pick his children, but now he was too angry to deal with them, they don’t have to go through this stress with him.

Steve decided to take a break at the usual diner, near James’ school he walked in and sat down, the usual waitress saw him come in and approached Steve's table.

**\- Though day at work?**

****

**S: I guess so.**

**\- What will you want today?**

**S: A beer.**

**\- Sorry, we don’t sell alcohol here and I saw you driving. Alcohol and direction do not match...**

**S: I know. It doesn’t matter, these drinks have no effect on me.**

**\- You know, I think I know what you need I'll be right back. And... Elisa.**

**S: Huh?**

**\- My name… is Elisa.**

...

Natasha drove to a bar, where she and Hill used to go all the time. Natasha ordered a drink and then sent a message to Hill, asking her to meet her there and Natasha only said it was something urgent.

Hill arrived at the bar and sat on the bench next to Natasha.

**H: I hate it when you start drinking without me. And if you're drinking, it's not about work, so let me guess... Steve? Bucky? The kids?**

**N: He filed for the divorce, Hill.**

**H: Oh. That's good.**

**N: Good?**

**H: Is not that what you wanted?**

Natasha opened her mouth to speak, but no word came out, she seemed to be thinking of an answer. After a few seconds, she spoke.

**N: We slept together last night.**

**H: Wow, you really don’t know how to keep your legs closed for him.**

**N: I... I was myself with him last night. I was about to surrender, you know? Then he left and then his lawyer came to leave the divorce paperwork, as if nothing had happened the night before. I don’t know why I'm so angry.**

**H: Because you have feelings for him.**

**N: That's not it. I just thought he was different. I expected this from any man but I really thought he was different.**

**H: He is, Natasha. Look, I’m sorry, but... You’re the one who left his home, you tried to stay with other men, you wanted the divorce. What did you want Steve to do? He sure was thinking the best for you, anyone who knows Steve, knows he's crazy about you. Crazy enough to let you free to go on with your life without him, if that means your happiness.**

**N: Hill, you're not helping! You're trying to make me feel bad.**

**H: No, I am exposing the facts, if you feel guilty, it is because you are.**

**N: You know I hate you for being honest.**

**H: I think the only person who loves me is myself, and that’s fine for me.**

Hill ordered a drink while Natasha looked thoughtful.

Natasha sighed.

**N: I told him that I feel something for him, but I don’t feel enough to be with him. I think divorce was the best option for us. I can’t decide anything right now.**

Natasha sighed.

**N: But I'm still so angry! I know he's right, but...**

**H: But you're going to make his life a hell.**

**N: No... Maybe. I have difficulties on this things, I end up hurting everyone around me. I need to get away from him.**

**H: You have children, you will always be communicating.**

**N: No, necessarily. I can have them picked and delivered.**

**H: What about how they will feel?**

**N: I'll talk to them after I talk to Steve.**

**H: Uh...**

**N: We need to talk, I don’t want to walk away from him without explaining my reasons.**

**H: Okay, but try to talk with your panties on...**

Natasha and Hill still had a few drinks, then they ate and went to SHIELD. Natasha helped Hill's team break data codes collected on SHIELD's mission.

At the end of the day, Natasha drove to Steve's apartment. She rang the bell and Steve opened the door, after checking who it was through the magic eye.

**N: Hi.**

**S: Hi.**

**N: Can we talk?**

****

**S: Of course.**

Steve opened the door wider and gestured for Natasha to come in. As soon as she entered, James ran to hug Natasha.

**J: Mom!**

**N: James... Can you go to your room?**

**J: I'm not sleepy, it's very early.**

**Sarah: Mommy, Mommy.**

**N: James, why don’t you teach Sarah how to play video games?**

**J: No, she will break it.**

**N: No she won’t, if she breaks, I promise to buy another one for you.**

**J: Hmm...**

**S: Go, James. Listen to your mother.**

James was reluctant, but he felt a heavy mood between his parents and he knew he had to go to his room.

**J: Come on, Sarah.**

James took Sarah’s hand and led her to his bedroom. Natasha followed them and after they entered the room, Natasha closed the door so they wouldn’t hear the conversation.

Natasha came back into the living room and she could barely look at Steve, she sat down on the couch and Steve sat facing her on the other couch.

First the silence dominated the room. Steve felt that he needed to apologize and explain what had happened.

**S: Natasha...**

**N: Please don’t. Don’t say anything.**

Natasha finally met his eyes.

**N: You did the right thing. I was surprised by the divorce, I wasn’t expecting it.**

**S: I asked the divorce when you left home and you said that I was free to go out with other people, I understood that you wanted to go out with other people and just forwarded the process for you. I was kinda angry, but I was thinking about you.**

**N: I know, I know that. But I felt so angry when I received the paperwork right after the night we had and...**

**S: Natasha, I swear I didn’t remember the divorce any more, I didn’t know he was going to deliver that day. I would never do that to you.**

**N: It doesn’t matter now. You were right to ask. We can’t stay like this anymore, I don’t want to hold you with false expectations.**

**S: False? You said you felt something.**

**N: I lied.**

**S: You did not lie. I know you.**

**N: Yes, I lied. You know I'm a spy.**

**S: I don’t believe, you're lying right now.**

**N: It doesn’t matter what you think, what matters is that I have already signed and I hope you do the same.**

**S: Aren’t you going to try with Wanda at least?**

**N: I will.**

**S: So let's wait.**

**N: No! If it doesn’t work...**

**S: What if it works?**

**N: Well, so I'll regret it and I'll have you back again.**

**S: It may be late.**

**N: I'd rather take a chance.**

Steve got up and went to his backpack and picked up the divorce document, he returned to the couch and placed the document on the table.

Steve picked up a pen and looked at Natasha.

**S: Are you sure about this?**

****

Natasha looked him in the eyes when Steve asked if she was sure, she looked away and nodded.

Steve sighed and prepared to sign.

A few minutes before, James and Sarah were in the bedroom, James turned on the video game and then went to the door and opened it quietly and stared through the doorway.

**Sarah: Jamie? Let's Play.**

**J: Shh...**

**Sarah: Where's the control?**

**J: Sarah, be quiet.**

**Sarah: But mommy said I could play.**

**J: I know, I'll let you play, but you have to be quiet.**

**Sarah: What are you looking in there?**

**J: Dad and Mom.**

Sarah opened the door wider and tried to look too.

**J: I think they're fighting.**

**Sarah: Fighting? I do not like when they fight.**

**J: Me neither.**

****

**Sarah: Mommy!**

James covered Sarah's mouth so she didn’t call for Natasha.

James listened to the whole conversation until he heard they were going to divorce.

James closed the door. Sarah was listening too, but with only three years olds, she does not understand what is happening.

...

Steve signed the document.

**S: You're free.**

**N: I don’t think we should see each other for a while.**

Steve sighed and felt his heart freeze. Beyond the divorce, he will have to be without seeing her? Doesn’t she know that this would kill him?

**N: We should see each other just for work.**

**S: But the children...**

**N: I'll have someone to get them and bring them back to you.**

**S: That's an overreaction.**

**N: No, it’s not. You need to get over it and move on.**

**S: But I don’t want to.**

**N: Steve... Please.**

**S: Natasha, you expect me to sit and watch you walk away from my life?**

**N: There's nothing you can do now, Steve. I don’t love you!**

Steve was ready to start a speech about his motives to not let her go, that he loves her and needs to be with her, but that final phrase struck him like a hail of arrows piercing the skin of his body. “I don’t love you”. Steve lowered his head and put his hand on his forehead.

Natasha sighed, she knows how much that hurt Steve, so much that even she felt her chest tighten and that has never happened to her before.

Natasha had already hurt people she liked before, like Bucky himself, but that never made her feel that pain she is feeling now, but now the phrase is said, Natasha needs to be strong on her decision.

**N: We should talk to the kids together.**

Steve nodded, and he just didn’t cry because the kids were in the apartment.

Natasha knocked on the bedroom door and called them to come to the living room.

Before Natasha knocked on the door of James's room, he was talking to Sarah explaining what Steve and Natasha were talking about.

**J: They are separating.**

**Sarah: Separating?**

**J: Yes, Sarah. It means that Mom will never go back to live with us.**

Sarah frowned and lowered her head.

**Sarah: But I want Mommy here.**

**J: Me too.**

...

**N: Come. Sit here.**

Natasha sat down on the couch and asked the children to sit next to her. Steve looked at his children and just sighed, creating the courage to speak to them.

**J: You can’t separate! Please! Mom!**

Natasha and Steve looked at each other, apparently closing the door didn’t help, they listened.

**Sarah: You can’t leave me, Mommy.**

**N: I'm not leaving you, Sarah. We'll always see each other.**

**J: It's not the same thing! Dad, you said she was going to come back someday.**

**S: James, it's complicated. You have to understand that we both love you two very much and that will never change.**

**J: I don’t want anything to change! Was it something I did?**

**N: No, James... of course not.**

**S: This is between your mother and me.**

Sarah hugged Natasha's waist and began to cry softly.

**N: Don’t cry, Sarah. I promise we'll see each other. We'll have a lot of fun.**

**J: I don’t understand!**

Natasha ran her hand through James's hair.

**N: You're very young, but one day you'll understand.**

**J: Did Dad do something wrong?**

**N: No, James.**

**J: Why then?**

**S: James...**

**J: I don’t want you to separate.**

**Sarah: Me neither.**

**N: We were already separated, James. Don’t worry, you can stay in my home whenever you want, I promise. Nothing is going to change.**

**J: Everything has already changed! Since you came back! You’re very different and I hate that!**

James got up and held Sarah by the hand.

**J: Come on, Sarah. Let’s go.**

Sarah looked at Natasha and released her, following James to his bedroom.

Natasha sighed and looked down.

**N: I thought they would understand.**

**S: They will someday but not now, but they will be okay.**

**N: I… Hum... I should go now.**

**S: Okay.**

Natasha still stared at Steve for a few seconds, then she got to her feet. Steve got up and opened the door for her. Natasha walked past him and before leaving, she whispered.

**N: I'm sorry.**

****

Natasha headed for the elevator and Steve closed the door.

Steve sighed and paused for a few seconds, he can’t deal with his own pain now, because his children are in pain too, so Steve went to James’ room and knocked on the door.

Steve opened the door and saw James and Sarah playing the video game, but the sadness on their faces was very visible, especially since they were not even talking.

**S: Do you want to eat something?**

James and Sarah didn’t look at Steve, they just shook their heads.

**S: Are you guys okay?**

They did not respond, just ignored Steve and continued to play.

Steve wanted to talk to his kids better, but the truth is he needs time to take in everything that's happening, he watched them for a few minutes, then he went to his bedroom.

**Sarah: Jamie, I don’t like it when Daddy is sad.**

**J: I have a plan, Sarah.**

**Sarah: Plan?**

**J: Do you want Daddy and Mommy to be together again?**

Sarah nodded.

**J: Then you have to help me. You'll do as I say. Okay?**

Sarah nodded again.

**J: We're going to make them stay together again, you and me.**

Sarah smiled and James smiled back at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the kids can help


	26. Cupid Operation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments, so happy that I'm updating now for you. Keep them coming!

**J: Sarah, go check if dad's sleeping.**

Sarah nodded and went to Steve's room, the door was already open, she slipped in and saw Steve lying on the bed, she approached him and saw that he was with his eyes closed.

Sarah leaned over on the bed and kissed the tip of Steve's nose and then she pulled the blanket over him, she just wanted to do for him what he does for her every day.

Sarah went back into the hallway and closed the door to Steve's room. James was waiting for her in the living room.

**J: So?**

**Sarah: Sleeping.**

James picked up the phone and stared at it.

**J: What's the number of Dad's work?**

Sarah looked at him confused and raised her hands in the air, indicating she doesn’t know.

**J: Well, Dad says 911 is always to help, so…**

James dialed 911.

**_\- 911, emergency._ **

**_J: Hello?_ **

**Sarah: Helloooouuuu.**

**J: Sarah, shhhh... The lady can’t hear you.**

**_\- Hi, who am I talking to?_ **

**_J: James._ **

**_\- James, are your parents around?_ **

**_J: My father is in his bedroom._ **

**_\- And what can I do for you, James?"_ **

**_J: I want to talk to the Avengers._ **

**_\- With the Avengers? Why? Do you need help?_ **

**_J: Yes._ **

**_\- Can you tell me your address?_ **

**_J: Hm... I can’t, because my dad don’t let me say it to strangers._ **

**_\- Can I speak to your father?_ **

**_J: No. He's sleeping._ **

**_\- Tell me the problem that I'm going to help you._ **

**_J: I just need the Avengers._ **

**_\- What do you need the Avengers to do for you, James?_ **

**_J: To help mom and dad get together again._ **

**_\- Oooh! Awww, now I understand. Well, James, I can’t put you to talk with the Avengers now, but I'll pass your message for them._ **

**_J: Okay, but talk to Uncle Tony first._ **

**_\- Tony Stark? Oh yes, indeed. Leave it to me. 911 thanks your call._ **

**_J: But..._ **

The call ended and James frowned.

**J: She didn’t even write down what it was to say to Uncle Tony. We have to go there, Sarah.**

**Sarah: How?**

**J: Cindy. Let's ask her to take us to dad’s work. Tomorrow. Let's go to sleep.**

**Sarah: But I want a bottle.**

**J: We're not going to wake Dad up now. Go sleep without a bottle!**

James pushed Sarah into her bedroom and before he went back to his room, he took Steve's cell phone and removed the battery, hiding it in his backpack.

Sarah lay down and couldn’t close her eyes. After half an hour she got up and went to James's room.

**Sarah: Jamie? Jamie?**

**J: Hmm?**

James was already sleeping heavily. Sarah saw that it was useless to get James's attention now, so she returned to Steve's room and whispered so James wouldn’t hear she waking Steve.

**Sarah: Daddy?**

Steve opened one eye and saw Sarah, he took a fright and sat down in a hurry. He didn’t notice that he fell asleep, he looked at the clock and it was almost midnight.

**S: Sarah? Are you alright, baby?**

**Sarah: I want a bottle.**

**S: Yes... Come on...**

Steve yawned and stood, picking Sarah up and going into the kitchen. Before re reached the kitchen, he opened the door to James’ room and noticed that he was already asleep.

Steve took Sarah's bottle from the refrigerator and set it on the microwave to heat it up. As they waited, Sarah placed her hands on Steve's face and made him look at her, which caused a smile on his face.

**Sarah: Daddy?**

**S: Yes, princess?**

**Sarah: Don’t be sad.**

**S: I'm not sad, sweetheart. Don’t worry.**

**Sarah: I love you, daddy.**

**S: I love you too, baby. Very much.**

**Sarah: Mama loves you too daddy. She’ll come back.**

**S: Sarah...**

Steve heard the microwave whistle, he took the bottle, checked the temperature and put the bottle in Sarah's mouth. He went to the couch with her and lay her down on his lap, he already know that she will sleep as soon as she finished nursing.

It took half an hour for Sarah sleep. Steve took her to her bedroom and covered her up.

The next day, Steve left the kids at school and warned Cindy to pick them up later.

Upon arriving at the Avengers Base, Steve headed to the operating center, Natasha had already arrived half an hour earlier and joined Bobbi and Clint on training new members of the team.

**N: Where do you guys find these people?**

**C: They're not that bad.**

**N: You're right, they suck!**

...

Early this afternoon, Cindy came to pick James and Sarah at school.

**Cindy: Did you have fun today?**

**Sarah: Yes!!!**

**Cindy: And you, James? Why are you sad?**

**J: Oh, I'm not feeling very well.**

**C: Oh no...**

Cindy stopped and crouched down to look at James.

**Cindy: What do you have? What are you feeling? You never got sick before.**

Cindy laid her hand on James's forehead.

**Cindy: You don’t have a fever. What are you feeling?**

**J: My head hurts a lot.**

**Cindy: Oh, James, I'm going to call your father.**

Cindy got worried and called Steve's cell phone but it seemed to be turned off, she tried several times.

**Cindy: Oh God, what do I do? What medicine do you take when you’re in pain?**

James shrugged, indicating he didn’t know.

**Sarah: You have to call Daddy.**

**Cindy: I’m trying but it’s turned off and I don’t have your mother's new number yet. Oh my God!**

**J: I feel so bad.**

**C: Oh James.**

**J: Take me to my father, Please.**

**Cindy: At the Avengers Base? Oh I think I can’t do that.**

**J: Yes, you can, please, my head hurts. I want my father!**

**C: Jesus!**

Cindy had her heart in her hand, if she had medically treated James and he had some allergic reaction, it would be her fault, she can’t give medicine for him.

Sarah and James had already planned this dramatic scene.

Cindy had no choice but to try to go to the Avengers Base.

When Cindy arrived at the base, a scanner passed through her body and then on the children.

**_JARVIS: James Grant Romanoff Rogers and Sarah Grant Romanoff Rogers, direct descendants of Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff. Third person, identify yourself please._ **

**Cindy: Hm… My name is Cindy… Cindy Johnson, I'm the nanny of James and Sarah. I need to talk to Steve Rogers, please.**

**_JARVIS: I'll have to request permission, please wait a moment._ **

JARVIS accessed the science room monitor of Tony Stark and Bruce Banner.

**T: JARVIS, you need to stop appear like this.**

**_JARVIS: Sorry, sir, it’s that the descendants of Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff are at the entrance with the nanny, named Cindy Johnson, claiming urgency to talk to Steve._ **

**T: Well, then let Steve know.**

**_JARVIS: I can’t right now, Rogers just got into the bathroom, I don’t have access there. And Miss Romanoff left ten minutes ago with the cadets for field simulation._ **

**B: Tony, if it's the nanny, something serious could have happened.** **Better check.**

**T: Let them in.**

JARVIS opened the base doors and Cindy walked in with the children.

Of course that all the Avengers' agents walking by the reception were amazed at the presence of the children. They have never been there before.

**T: Open a communication video for me please, JARVIS.**

JARVIS designed a screen in front of Cindy and the kids.

Cindy took a fright.

James smiled.

**J: Uncle Tony!**

Sarah stood on tiptoe, waving at Tony who was smiling and waving at them.

**T: What do you guys want?**

**J: We need to talk to you!**

**Cindy: He's got a lot of headaches and I can’t make contact with their dad. I don’t know what to do.**

**J: No, I’m not in pain. I was just pretending for you to bring me here.**

**Cindy: JAMES! I can be fired for that!!**

**T: At this age and already knowing how to pretend to get what he wants... Oh! These children make me so proud! Relax, Cindy. I will not tell them if you don’t. By the way... Are you babysitting only children? Would you take care of a millionaire, philanthropist, and Avenger man?**

**Cindy: No, thank you.**

****

**T: Well, I had to try. JARVIS, set Miss Cindy in the waiting room and bring the children here, please.**

Tony ended the call and 15 minutes later the door to the lab opened and two little redheads ran desperately across the room, touching everything they could.

**Sarah: What is that?**

**J: And that?**

**Sarah: Can I squeeze that?**

**T: No!**

**J: What does that do?**

Bruce fixed his glasses on his face and looked at Tony.

**B: It's not safe for children here, Tony.**

**T: No, I think children are not safe for this place.**

Sarah ended up knocking a glass of blue liquid onto the floor, which made a small explosion, but then quenched.

Sarah panicked and threatened to cry. She was looking at Bruce who started to get desperate.

**B: Er... Tony... What she... hmm**

Sarah began to sob and her eyes filled with tears. Bruce approached her.

**B: It's okay... It's nothing. Look...**

Bruce threw another glass on the floor that also exploded and in the end made a pink smoke.

**T: Hey! That costs money. My Money!**

Sarah stopped grunting and gave a small smile, she strectched her arms to Bruce, who stepped away.

**T: Wow, Banner. She just wants a lap.**

**B: Oh... it's... It's not safe.**

Sarah approached Banner again, arms outstretched. Bruce took her in his lap, but he was terrified of her. He is not used to children.

**T: So, mini-Doritos... What do you want? I'm thinking of calling you Baconzitos and that one there Cheetos.**

**J: Uncle Tony, Dad and Mom broke up.**

**T: Oh, I heard about that, buddy... I'm sorry. Would you like to have me as your new daddy?** **Now that your mother is single.**

**Sarah: NO!**

**T: Okay, it was just a joke. What do you want? A consolation lollipop? A robot that replaces Romanoff? The robot would still be more affectionate than sh eis, tho...**

**J: We want them together again. You can help.**

**T: Oh James...**

**J: You just have to put them on missions together.**

**B: They already go on missions together.**

**J: Yeah, but you have to leave them alone.**

**T: Look, I know how sad all of this are for you, but your parents are adults and they know what they do. But I promise to try to help. Ok?**

James nodded.

**J: Uncle Tony? Can we blow things up?**

**T: Oh, boy! But of course! You're so smart, that sometimes I think you're my son... Hey... Wait a moment, what if you really are mine...**

**B: Tony, don’t put things in his head, you know that would be impossible.**

**T: Maybe she made me drunk and I did not remember anything... We know about Romanoff's attraction to me.**

**J: What?**

**T: Nothing. Come on... Let's blow things up.**

**B: I don’t think that's a good idea.**

**T: Of course you don’t think it is, that’s why we will do it.**

Tony took Sarah and James to one of the lab's simulators and placed the Iron Man's glove in James's hand. Tony was impressed by James' aim, very good for a child at his age.

**Sarah: I want it, I want it.**

**T: Hm... Don’t get me wrong, little widow , but you're too small. But I'll let you have an ice cream. What about that?**

Sarah smiled happily and Tony walked around the Avengers Base, introducing Sarah and James as his children, but everyone already knows Sarah and James very well and they know who their parentes are.

**Sarah: Look at Uncle Sam. UNCLE SAM!**

Sarah screamed as she saw Sam through a glass corridor.

**T: He can’t hear you.**

**J: Look at Uncle Bucky, too.**

Clint appeared in the hallway and looked at Sarah and James.

Clint frowned.

**C: What are they doing here?**

**J: Uncle Clint!**

**C: Hey, guys. What’s up? Does your father know you're here?**

**T: But of course... not. But they are already leaving.**

**Sarah: My ice cream!**

**J: I'm hungry!**

**C: It's time for lunch. Let them eat here.**

Tony, Clint and the children went to the refectory. Before entering, Natasha was arriving from the mission with the cadets and frowned at seeing the children. Sarah threw herself at her lap.

Natasha picked Sarah up.

**N: Sarah? James? What are you doing here?**

**T: Natasha, are you sure they're Steve's kids?**

**N: What are you talking about, Stark?**

**C: They look so much with Steve.**

**T: Oh I think James has some traits of mine.**

**N: My son is handsome, Stark, he is nothing like you.**

**T: That's what I'm saying, he's handsome, he can only be mine... Look at Steve, now look at me...**

Tony removed his sunglasses and smiled.

Natasha rolled her eyes.

**C: They're hungry, we were going to the refectory.**

**J: Come with us, Mom.**

**N: I... Okay.**

Natasha feels like she can’t deny anything to the children after the night before, when she divorced from Steve.

When Natasha entered the refectory, Carol Danvers and Jessica Drew rushed to approach her, but to talk to Sarah.

**JD: Oh my God! Is that Sarah? What a cute little thing!**

**Carol: You’re so big now.**

**JD: Look at Sarinha's cheeks. What a beautiful thing.**

**Carol: And those sardines. Oh, I want to bite her.**

Sarah frowned and put her hands on her cheeks to protect herself from being pinched.

**JD: Come here, come here, come here with your Aunt Jessica.**

Jessica took Sarah from Natasha's lap and Sarah tried to hold herself on Natasha’s clothes, but it didn’t work, because Jessica had already taken her to sit at the table with her and Carol.

Natasha looked at James.

**N: Do you want to eat?**

James nodded.

There was a queue to pick up the meal, James walked out the front and picked up a tray, Natasha pulled him by the shirt and took him to the end of the line.

**N: James, didn’t you see there's a line?**

**\- It’s all right, let him go first.**

**N: No way. He will wait.**

**J: But mom... I'm hungry.**

**N: Everyone in the queue is hungry. You have to respect the line.**

**J: I'm sorry.**

Natasha helped James to pick his food and in her tray she put enough to share with Sarah. Natasha and James joined Carol and Jessica's table.

James sat next to Natasha and began to eat. Natasha looked at Sarah, smothered by Carol and Jessica, who were inventing several hairstyles for Sarah.

**N: She has to eat, girls.**

**JD: Ounnn... Let me give food for her? Pretty Please!!!**

**Sarah: No! Only Mommy.**

**JD: Oh, but can I get a kiss first?**

Sarah kissed Jessica's face.

**Carol: I want too.**

Sarah kissed Carol's face as well.

Jessica placed Sarah on the bench next to Natasha.

**Sarah: Mommy? My bottle?**

**N: Sarah, don’t! It's 2:00 p.m. It's time for food. It's very tasty, pasta. Open that mouth!**

Sarah opened her mouth and Natasha gave the first spoonful to Sarah.

Steve arrived at the refectory, but he didn’t notice the children, he came in line with Sam.

James saw his father and climbed onto the bench and shouted with his mouth full of food.

**J: DAAAAD!**

Steve frowned and turned to the tables and saw James on the bench, then he looked at Natasha with Sarah.

Steve almost had a heart attack, he never takes the kids to work, he thinks it's too dangerous.

Steve walked over to the table and soon realized that Natasha had brought them.

**S: Are you out of your damn mind, Natasha?**

Natasha frowned and looked at Steve.

**N: Excuse me???**

****

**J: Dad?**

**S: Bring the kids to the Avengers Base? Do you know how dangerous this is?**

**J: But dad...**

**S: Quiet, James!**

Steve kept talking, or better saying yelling to Natasha.

**S: You may not even remember, but with a little of discernment you would realize that here is no place for children.**

**J: Dad, but it wasn’t...**

Steve was screaming and gesticulating at Natasha. James tried at all costs, explaining that it wasn’t Natasha's fault, but Steve wouldn’t let him talk.

Natasha took a deep breath.

**N: First thing first... Stop screaming! Second, who said I brought them here? I thought it was you. Thirdly, if you talk to me like that ever again, you will never be able to utter a single sentence in your life ever again. Have I made myself clear?**

**S: Of course I didn’t bring them, we agreed to never bring them to work!**

**N: We agreed?**

Steve sighed irritably, he forgets Natasha's lack of memory.

**J: DAD! It was not Mom! Stop fighting!!!**

**Sarah: It was Cindy.**

**S: Cindy?**

**J: Dad, don’t fire her, I was feeling sick**

**N: Feeling sick?**

**J: I'm better now.**

**S: And why didn’t she call me?**

**J: She tried!**

**S: My phone didn’t ring.**

Steve took the phone in his pocket and saw that it was turned off. He tried to turn on and he couldn’t.

**S: Damn!**

**N: Ooooh, so it's very clear now who's the one to blame for the kids being here!**

**S: I didn’t know.**

**N: And you're already accuse me?**

**S: What would you think of in my place?**

**N: That some emergency happened! But I would not come accusing you like you did to me!**

**S: Of course you would!**

****

**N: No, I would not!**

**S: Yes, you would, because you’re a rude person.**

**N: I’m a rude person?** **Okay, that’s it!**

Natasha got up and she got in a fierce discussion with Steve, in front of all the refectory. They just stopped screaming with each other when Sarah screamed.

They both looked at Sarah, startled.

Pepper came over and took Sarah in her lap and laid her head on her shoulder.

**P: Oh, my God, guys. What’s wrong with both of you? Fighting like that in front of your children?** **Are you crazy?**

**S: I'm sorry... I’m so sorry. Sarah it’s all right.**

Sarah continued to cry and buried her face in Pepper's neck.

**P: Poor thing! She’s scared. It's okay, my love. Come with Aunt Pepper.**

Sarah raised her face and held out her arms to Natasha. Pepper was going to take Sarah away from there, but Sarah wanted to stay with Natasha.

Natasha took her in her lap.

**P: Steve, get back in line. They are already here, whatever you two have to discuss, do without the children being present.**

Steve didn’t argue anymore, of course he felt bad about the fight with Natasha in front of the children. He stepped back to avoid conflicts.

Natasha left Sarah on her lap and continued to give her food. When Sarah was satisfied, Natasha ate what was left on the plate.

**N: Where's Cindy?**

The children couldn’t tell, but Natasha asked JARVIS and he informed her where she was.

Natasha handed the children over to Cindy. Natasha knew that James lied about being ill and explained to Cindy, and Cindy took them both away.

At the end of the day, JARVIS called Steve, Natasha, Clint and Bobbi into the meeting room. When they got there, Tony was in the room with Bruce.

**T: We have a mission.**

**B: In Saudi Arabia.**

**S: What mission that am I not aware of, Tony?**

**T: This came out when you were having catfight in the refectory.**

**B: A group of officers and an American senator are being held hostage by an organization.**

**T: The president himself called me asking for our help, the media doesn’t know about this incident yet nd they can’t know. We need you to do the rescue, with the greatest discretion possible.**

**S: The four of us? We're going to need more than that. Probably the team STRIKE from SHIELD.**

**T: Yes, they are already aware and preparing to leave. I suggest you do the same.**

**N: Is it necessary four Avengers to go?**

**T: Yes.**

**N: Banner should go in my place, it will be much easier.**

**B: I can’t, I'm busy in the lab with a new project.**

**N: So you, Tony.**

**T: I'm on the same project as him. I'm sure you're capable. Or are you busy, Romanoff?**

Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes.

**N: No problem. I'll get ready.**

Clint and Bobbi waited for Steve and Natasha before taking off.

After they entered, Clint handed one tablet to Steve and another to Bobbi.

**C: Tony separated two places for us to camp. Bobbi and I are staying in Shelter 1.** **You and Natasha in Shelter 2.**

**N: What?**

**S: You and I should be together, Clint.**

Bobbi and Clint looked at each other.

**C: Don’t get me wrong, Cap, but Bobbi and I work better together, just like you and Natasha, except that she's my girlfriend and...**

**Bobbi: Look, guys… We know you're both fighting...**

**N: We're not.**

**S: We're cool.**

**C: Well, then we won’t have any problems. Let’s go!**

The four of them went on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, Steve was close to lose some teeth. A guy must have balls to scream at Natasha


	27. Ambush

**C: Bang bang bang bang♪**

**B: Dututu Tururu Tutu...♫**

**C: Bang bang bang bang♪**

Natasha snorted and rolled her eyes as Clint and Bobbi hummed the opening song from Two and a Half Men.

Steve was standing behind them and smiling, watching them both.

**C: This series is very good, have you watched Cap?**

**S: No, I'm not a TV guy.**

**B: The series is not so good after Ashton came in. But Clint is hooked and forces me to watch it anyway. If you want a good series, I recommend House of Cards.**

**C: This series is totally Steve.**

**B: Right? And How to Get Away with Murder is totally Natasha. Do you watch it, Nat?**

Bobbi and Steve turned their faces to see Natasha, but she ignored the question and continued to fix her gear.

**C: Someone is in a bad mood...**

**B: Thank God, it's not in our shelter that she's going to stay.**

**C: Poor, Cap!**

**S: I'm used to it.**

**C: You have to be.**

**S: I like to see you two together. You are a beautiful couple.**

Bobbi and Clint blush, smiling.

**B: Awwwn, Steve. You're making me blush.**

Natasha was listening to the conversation and rolled her eyes again put her tongue out, mocking their conversation, without anyone noticing.

Natasha approached Clint, Bobbi and Steve.

**N: How long until there?**

**C: Hm, 8 hours.**

**N: So Steve and I are going to sleep, and in four hours you and Bobbi can asleep.**

**S: I'm not sleepy.**

**N: If you want to stay awake and exhausted for the mission, it's your problem.**

**C: Ouch!**

Natasha said dryly and went to the end of the jet.

Natasha pulled the bed and lay down near the jet wall.

It took Steve another ten minutes to go where she was and he pulled out another bed and lay down.

As soon as Natasha noticed his presence, she lay on her side to turn her back on him. Steve was lying with his belly up, he turned his face to the side and stared at Natasha. Steve sighed and waited a few seconds.

**S: Natasha?**

Natasha didn’t answer.

**S: Natasha, are you awake?**

**N: How will I sleep with you talking, Steve?**

**S: I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I shouldn’t have accused you without knowing what happened and I shouldn’t have screamed at you. I'm sorry for the way I treated you.**

Natasha heard Steve's apologies, but didn’t respond.

**S: Well... that's all I wanted to say.**

Steve closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but he only dozed for an hour, then he sat on the bed and picked up a pad of paper to draw.

Natasha didn’t sleep as well, as soon as Steve moved on the bed, she opened her eyes but didn’t move, she was silent trying to hear what he was doing.

Natasha closed her eyes again and turned her body on the bed, lying with belly up. Steve looked at her for a few seconds and drew again. Natasha opened her eyes and turned her face to the side so she could see what Steve was doing. She thought it was something of the mission, but he was drawing.

 _Stupid drawings._ Natasha thought, closing her eyes again and trying to sleep again.

After 8 long hours, they finally landed at the point set by Stark, along with the SHIELD intelligence team, called STRIKE.

The teams were split into Alpha 1, led by Bobbi and Clint, and Alpha 2, led by Steve and Natasha.

**B: Our shelter is here near the landing area. Yours is on the other side of the enemy territory.**

Clint showed on the map.

The shelters were located in the only 2 available exits of the enemy territory.

Steve ordered that at that same night they would make a silent attack, dividing the team again, forming 4 attack groups. The groups would separate and spread around the territory, so they would be more likely to succeed in case they need to be rescued.

**S: Did everyone understand?**

**C: Yes.**

**B: Yes.**

**S: So, come on, Alpha 2. Let’s move to our shelter.**

Steve and Natasha's team rode with bikes and cars to Shelter 2.

Shelter 2 was made up of several huge tents, which served as storage, infirmary, and dormitory.

The largest of the tents was reserved for Steve and Natasha and  when they looked at their names at the entrance of the tent, they both felt weird to be sharing the same tent.

**N: I can’t believe Stark didn’t give me my own tent.**

**S: Tony always put us together, he must have forgotten. Don’t worry, I'll stay with STRIKE.**

**N: No need. It's big enough, you can sleep on the floor.**

Natasha entered the tent and was more relieved to see that actually there was two beds in there.

**N: Well, seems like you don’t have to sleep on the floor.**

**S: Yep.**

Steve said, not very cheerfully, putting his pack on the bed. After setting up completely in the shelter, everyone had a meal and got ready for the mission.

Before leaving, Steve reminded that the operation would be the quietest and with the least loss possible.

**N: Do you still have the map?**

**S: Yes, in the tent.**

**N: I want to look at it again. Can you come with me?**

**S: Sure.**

Natasha returned to the tent and opened the large map on the table. Steve followed her and stared at Natasha, who was looking thoughtfully at the map.

**S: Something wrong?**

**N: I don’t know yet.**

Steve approached the table and consequently Natasha. He looked at the map trying to understand what she is seeing that he didn’t.

**N: It's the shape of their territory.**

**S: Round?**

**N: Yeah, but with all these mountains around...**

Natasha looked at Steve.

**S: Easy to set up a trap.**

**N: Exactly. If we get inside, we might get trapped in there.**

**S: Do you think we should wait?**

**N: I think we should be prepared.**

**S: How?**

**N: Mentally, for whatever comes. I know this group, Steve it's very similar to Russian groups. They want something.**

**S: Money.**

**N: I think it's more than that. The senator is of no use for them.**

**S: What do you mean?**

**N: There is only one way to find out. Moving on.**

**S: So we should go, even if it has a trap?**

Natasha nodded.

**S: I'll let Clint know.**

**N: Oh that’s it!**

**S: What?**

**N: Tell him to wait.**

**S: Why?**

**N: We’ll go alone.**

**S: It's risky.**

**N: It's riskier if everyone falls into the trap. They need to be our element of surprise. Tell them to move on, only if we don’t return in 5 days.**

**S: Five days???**

**N: They won’t kill us before that, trust me.**

Steve took a deep breath, looking at Natasha. She knows what she does and that place really seems to be an ambush. He will have to take a chance.

Steve warned Bobbi and Clint to not attack tonight, and warned them about the five days thing.

After midnight, the Alpha 2 team moved into enemy territory.

Natasha asked Steve to divide their team into 4, even though it was only 80 men and Steve followed Natasha's advice, separating them.

They went up the mountains in a matter of 1 hour. From the top, Steve and Natasha watched the enemy base with a technological binocular. There was a fence surrounding their basis and a huge steel structure on the floor.

**S: It's underground.**

**N: Yes.**

**_S: Let's move on, Alpha 2._ **

Steve warned the team, touching the device in his ear.

Natasha and Steve went down the mountains, watching the movement around them. They reached the bottom of the mountain and Natasha frowned.

Steve looked around.

**S: Nothing. Doesn’t seem to have anyone here.**

**N: That's the problem.**

Steve's team had no more visual contact with the others Alpha 2 teams.

**_S: John?_ **

**_John: Yes, Captain._ **

**_S: In position?_ **

**_John: Yes, sir._ **

**_S: Mark?_ **

**_Mark: In position, Captain._ **

**_S: Daniel?_ **

**_Daniel: In position, Cap..._ **

Daniel interrupted the transmission, actually somebody interrupted him. Steve could hear the sound of machine-gun shots in the distance.

Natasha smirked and raised her eyebrows.

**N: Surprise, surprise!**

**S: Hide!**

Steve ordered, but as soon as the team turned to return to the mountains, a lot of men cornered them, pointing their guns at them. There was the double of men on the ground with them and Natasha looked up and saw some archers and snipers around the mountain.

**N: If we fight, we will die.**

**S: Everyone stand down.**

Steve ordered his team, he and Natasha raised their hands in the air. The men approached, taking the shield from Steve and the guns of the team. They were handcuffed and taken into the underground base.

They went down through a platform that works as an elevator.

Upon reaching the base, there were three aisles and a man with a leadership aspect. The men reported to him in their language and the leader had the STRIKE team and Natasha to go through a corridor and Steve on the other.

When Steve saw Natasha being pulled away from him, he immediately reacted, punching the guard with his elbow and slapping the other. He prepared to attack more, but he heard the sound of the trigger being prepared to shoot. Steve looked around and there were several men pointing guns at him.

Another man appeared in the hallway, telling the terrorists to lower their weapons. He looked straight at Steve and smiled.

**\- Steve Rogers, Captain America. Sorry for the bad reception.**

The man motioned for the terrorists to proceed with the team into the hallway, but ordered for Natasha to stay.

**\- I understand that you'd like to be close to the Black Widow, I'd like that, too.**

Natasha rolled her eyes.

**\- Get his handcuffs off. This is not how we treat our guests.**

The men were suspicious, but obeyed the command of their leader. The leader looked at Natasha.

**\- I'm sorry, Widow, you're too dangerous to not be handcuffed. In fact, I was not expecting your presence, but I'm glad you're here. Come on.**

The man led them down the long metal corridor, with lights failing, to a large hall with several iron doors, it looked like a prison. And it was.

**\- I apologize for the place you're going to stay, we don’t have much luxury around here.**

**S: Where's the senator?**

**\- Oh, he's fine. He is human trash, you shouldn’t have come for him.**

**S: What do you want?**

The leader just smiled sarcastically. One of the terrorists opened one of the cells and threw Natasha inside that fell to the ground with the force they used.

The leader held out his hand, indicating the cell to Steve, to enter.

**\- I will not separate you. Love is something that I admire deeply, but poor of the man who loves, he is destroyed by the object of his worship. Especially when the object is this one over here.**

Steve stepped into the cell and helped Natasha to her feet.

**S: Are you okay?**

**N: Yes.**

The cell door was closed. A small window at the door was opened and they threw a key inside.

Steve took the key and Natasha stood with her back to him to open her handcuffs.

**N: You can’t react like this just because they were going to take me away.**

**S: I didn’t know what they would do with you.**

**N: I know how to take care of myself, Steve. And they would be dead anyway.**

**S: Who?**

**N: Our team, they took them to execute.**

**S: And you still complains that I brought you here.**

**N: They would not kill me. I have something they want.**

**S: Are you what they want with this kidnapping?**

**N: No... they want you. I don’t know exactly what or why. But they need you. They won’t kill you. Not now.**

**S: But... I don’t understand why they want you.**

Natasha laughed in mockery.

**N: I was just joking.**

No, she's not joking, being a former Russian spy and having intelligence and a lot of information about the US, that organization will certainly try to get some information from Natasha, a lot more about Russia, since it's a much more difficult country to have info about.

Natasha didn’t tell that to Steve, because he would do anything to protect her and may end up being killed for it. And she has to make sure that the father of her children, come home safe and sound to take care of the children.

Natasha looked around and the cell only had a mattress on the floor, with a duvet covering it, all very dirty.

**S: You can have the mattress, I'll sleep on the floor.**

**N: Such a gentleman...**

Natasha mocked.

**S: Wow, all you have to complain about, Natasha. I’m just being nice.**

**N: And everything you have to act like a perfect savior prince, this pisses me off, I can’t stand it. I don’t want and I don’t need it. I'm not a Disney princess, is it hard to understand that?**

Natasha raised her voice slightly, and held on to not speak more, since Steve didn’t answer back.

 _Congratulations on hurting Steve again, Natasha. Good job_. Natasha thought as she walked to the door to see if she could find any flaw that could get them out. She found nothing. Steve sat on the floor in the corner of the cell.

Natasha touched the walls, trying to identify what they were made of, to see if they could be broken with anything.

**N: They will come back.**

Steve looked at Natasha, not understanding. Suddenly they heard the sound of a key in the door lock.

**N: Don’t do anything stupid.**

Natasha whispered to Steve.

The door opened and four men entered the cell.

Two men grabbed Natasha's arms and Steve stood up immediately, but Natasha looked at Steve and made negative with her head, for Steve not react.

The other two men searched Natasha's body completely, finding two knives hidden in her clothes. They started laughing at each other, speaking in their language, but Natasha understood perfectly what they were talking about, and they were laughing, because they were going to undress her.

As soon as the man started taking off Natasha's clothes, Steve reacted again.

**S: Hey!**

**N: Steve, don’t!**

Steve looked at Natasha and he clenched his fist. The men left Natasha completely naked and of course they took the opportunity to ran their hands on her body also.

The reason they were doing that to her, it’s because they have already seen Natasha in action and they know that her outfit has some gear attached to it and to not take chances, they took her clothes off, but they gave her a dress to wear. It was a pretty black dress. Natasha got dressed while the men went out and locked the cell again.

Steve wanted to die for having witnessed other men touching her, unable to do anything. Jealousy and anger consumed him.

Natasha knows Steve's level of jealousy, but she couldn’t help it either, she knew she would be searched that way. She would do the same to any enemy.

Natasha lay down on the mattress and looked at Steve sitting on the floor, his back and head resting against the wall of the cell.

**N: You can’t sleep there, we both fit here.**

**S: I'm good.**

**N: It's too cold, Steve, and it will be even more later.**

**S: No problem for me.**

Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes.

 _This asshole will freeze at night_. Natasha thought. _Maybe he really likes being frozen._ But Steve is being stubborn, because they're not in good terms, but Natasha can’t leave him in the cold.

Natasha sighed again and tried another approach to convince Steve to go to the mattress.

Natasha pretended to fall asleep and about 40 minutes later, she began to tremble, especially her lips. Natasha cringed and Steve, who was almost asleep, awoke and looked at Natasha. He moved to be next to her and touched her arm.

**S: Natasha?**

**N: Steve?**

**S: Yeah, it’s me. Are you okay?**

**N: I’m… It's too cold. Can you lie here with me?**

**S: Yes, sure, of course.**

Steve lifted the duvet and lay down to hug Natasha all over to try to warm her up. Natasha hugged Steve's waist to keep him warm and leaned her cheek against his neck, which was frozen.

They both fell asleep quickly and Natasha still hasn’t noticed how she sleeps better in Steve's arms. But she will notice.


	28. Negotiations

Steve and Natasha were still asleep when someone knocked on the door three times with strength, causing them to wake up.

**\- Breakfast, little birds!**

The door was opened and they put two plates with a thick yellowish porridge. The door was closed shortly after.

Natasha yawned and Steve opened his eyes and watched Natasha stretch out as she woke up slowly. He can’t hide the passion he feels when he looks too much for her, even more having slept with the warmth of her body.

Natasha finally opened her eyes and stared Steve, who immediately tried to disguise that he was staring obsessively at her. Natasha sat up and looked at the porridge.

**N: I'm starving.**

**S: Let's not eat this, it may be poisoned.**

Natasha laughed at Steve and got up, straightening her dress. She took the plate and the spoon and ate a generous portion of the porridge.

Steve frowned at her. Natasha smirked.

**N: They will not kill us yet. Eat. And other than that, if they will kill us the execution will be public and filmed for the whole world to see. Believe me.**

Steve sat down and picked up his plate, he smelled the porridge next.

Steve frowned.

**N: Just swallow it. You don’t have to savor it, you just need something in your stomach.**

Steve and Natasha finished the meal.

Natasha looked at Steve.

**N: They'll make you some proposal, Steve. Listen to what they have to say.**

**S: Why are you talking as if you wouldn’t be there?**

**N: They won’t bargain with me. They need you.**

Steve and Natasha turned to the door because it was being opened. The leader appeared and smiled at Steve.

**\- Good Morning. I hope you slept well. You were fed by what I see. Don’t worry, the taste improves over time. I need you to come with me, Captain Rogers.**

Steve looked briefly at Natasha who subtly nodded, indicating for Steve to go with him.

Steve walked to the door.

**S: What about her?**

**\- Oh. She'll be safe as long as we make a deal.**

Steve took a deep breath, feeling bad for leaving Natasha, he knows she can defend herself alone, but he doesn’t want to leave her there.

When Steve stopped at the door, Natasha knew he was hesitating.

 _Go Steve_. Natasha thought.

Steve looked back again to look at Natasha, but soon they closed the door. Steve was led by long corridors until he arrived in a room where the American senator was, but not as a hostage but as an ally of that organization.

**\- I said you shouldn’t have come for him.**

**Senator: Captain.**

**S: Senator Davis.**

Steve was looking serious and angry at the senator for this betrayal.

**S: Where are the other officers?**

**Senator: Safe.**

**S: All five?**

**Senator: I assure you.**

**S: What do you want?**

**Senator: Well, Steve Rogers, sit down, it's a long story.**

...

As Steve listened to the demands of the Senator, who basically wanted to apply a coup on the state, Natasha was in the cell, trying to empty her mind.

Natasha noticed the door being opened again and she stood up.

Two men came in, the two who ran their hand on her body the night before. They were smiling and staring up and down at Natasha’s body. Natasha smirked, raising her eyebrows.

**N: You shouldn’t be here alone, boys. You can get hurt.**

****

Natasha said sarcastically, blinking her eyes sweetly.

The men began to laugh and one of them removed his belt and opened his pants. Natasha crossed her arms, sighed, and rolled her eyes.

**N: Well, I tried to warn you...**

**\- Shut the fuck up, bitch!**

**\- Leave her, I know how to shut her up. Her mouth is going to be very busy with what I have here in my pants.**

**N: Uh, dirty!**

The man who first approached Natasha pointed a gun at her.

**\- You have no weapons, if you try anything, I'll blow your head. Just be nice and do what we say, everyone can enjoy, just be nice.**

Natasha was standing there observing that he had two guns, the one that was pointing at her and one at the side of his pants. The other was only with two knives.

**\- Lay down. The less you move, the less it will hurt.**

Natasha lay down on the mattress and the one who had already removed his pants, opened her legs and bent over her. Natasha stared at him seductively, which made him want to kiss her. As he moved his face close to hers, Natasha slammed her head on his, causing him to feel dizzy, and causing a cut on her forehead.

Natasha acted in a matter of seconds, she took the knives from the one who was on top of her and threw it against the head of the one who was armed. They guy knelt and fell dead on the floor.

The one who was on top of Natasha staggered and she pushed him to the side and climbed on top of him, pressing the other knife against his throat.

**N: Didn’t your mother teach you to not play with knives? It’s too dangerous for a naughty boy like you. Do you know what can happen?**

Natasha slid the knife from his neck to his chest, causing a shallow cut, the she slid it to his belly, and the guy began to growl in pain.

The guards outside, noticed suspicious noises inside the cell and they opened the door, Natasha looked at them and she had two options now: cut off that disgusting throat, or cut off his manhood.

Because he is a rapist, Natasha knows that the best punishment would be to leave him without his genital and that is what she chose before being seized by the other guards who came to immobilize her and remove the two guys from there. The manager of the guards appeared in the cell and saw two of his men being removed and he looked at Natasha immobilized on the floor by other men.

**\- Let her go, you jerks. I didn’t send anyone in here!**

The man said in his language to the guards who released Natasha and left the cell.

The manager continued to yell at the guards outside, he was complaining that they shouldn’t hurt Natasha yet, because they would have plenty of time for it after they got what they wanted.

The manager approached Natasha’s cell and stared at her through the window on de the door, and while he was looking at her, he was holding the head of the guy who had his dick cut off, he was crying and screaming in pain.

The manager gripped his head and twisted his neck, killing him instantly. Then he had the bodies taken away.

Natasha watched the scene through the little window. The manager looked at her and spoke again to the guards.

**\- If someone is going to hurt her, that someone is me. Understood?**

The guards nodded and dispersed. The manager still stared at Natasha.

**\- And that will be soon, princess. Sleep well, it's your last night of peace.**

Steve spent the morning arguing with the senator, they had lunch together with the leader and the manager. The meeting did not end until around eight o'clock. Steve thought he would be taken back to his cell, but the leader still wanted to talk privately with Steve.

**\- I have a proposition for you, Captain Rogers.**

**S: I'm not interested in making any deal with you.**

**\- You're not afraid to die, I know that. But what about your beloved Natalia Alianovna?**

Steve punched the table and pointed the finger at the leader.

**S: Don’t dare threaten her.**

**\- I am not. Don’t worry. I'm just reminding you that you need to be alive to get her out of here. And I promise to not touch her as long as we have our agreement.**

**S: You want me to betray the US government and pass on sensitive information. I can’t do it.**

**\- No, the senator wants that, to be able to take off the credibility of the president and his assumption, but like I said, he's human trash. I'm not interested in your precious sensitive information.**

The leader smiled and walked over to a small table and served himself some Scotch.

**\- I would offer it to you, but I presume America's darling does not drink.**

Steve was watching him.

**S: What do you want?**

**\- Do you have a family, Rogers?**

Steve did not answer.

**\- I know you do. And you have friends that you would protect anyway. We are not as bad as you are. We attack and warn you before. But you Americans do not listen. You ignore us and bomb us, and when we attack you, you call us terrorists.**

**S: I'm getting impatient.**

The leader activated a screen and appeared images of a city being bombed, then scenes of schools and religious temples being bombed. Soon after the image of the rescues of civilians who survived the bombings, mostly children and women.

**S: What is this?**

**\- That, Rogers, is my family. My people are my family,**

**S: That's not American troops...**

**\- I know. They are Russian troops.**

**S: Do you want my country to be involved in this war?**

**\- See this on the bright side... I want your country to save mine.**

**S: Peace is something I want for all countries, but the US government won’t want to fight against Russia, this could lead to World War III.**

**\- That’s it! If this is the only way, then be it!**

**S: They would never hear me.**

**\- It’s good that they listen to the most beloved man in America... For his sake and for the sake of whom he loves... You and Romanoff are my guests of honor as I have said, as long as you respect the rules of the house...**

**S: You don’t dare...**

**\- Relax, Captain Rogers. You need some time to plan your conversation with your president. Don’t force your mind yet, as I said, everything will be fine, as long as I have what I want. Guards!**

Steve was taken by the guards back to the cell. As soon as he came in, he was looking down, thinking how he would do to convince the president to interfere in that war and if he really can do it, lead everyone to war. But if he didn’t do it and they kill Natasha, he would never forgive himself.

Natasha watched Steve's expression.

**N: What does he want?**

Steve shook his head and still looked down.

**S: He wants to cause a war.**

**N: A war?**

**S: Yes. Russia is dominating an Arab province and they...**

Steve was talking and interrupted when he looked up at Natasha. He saw the cut on her forehead and frowned.

**S: You're hurt. Natasha! What they did?**

Steve walked quickly and rested his hands on Natasha's face, who took Steve's hands away, turning her face to his side.

**S: That son of a... He said he wouldn’t hurt you!!! What they did to you?**

**N: Nothing, Steve. I got anxious and hurt myself.**

**S: Don’t lie to me.**

Steve looked into Natasha's eyes so intensely that she couldn’t lie to him. She lowered her gaze.

**S: They... Did they touch you?**

**N: They just tried.**

**S: Natasha...**

**N: I swear. I didn’t let them. They would have to kill me to get this.**

Steve felt sincerity in Natasha's words, he sighed.

**S: We have to get out of here.**

**N: You said that Russia is in an Arab province and what?**

**S: They want America to get involved.**

**N: Against Russia? He's crazy. The president is not going to get into this. And even if he got in...**

**S: It would lead to a world war.**

Natasha nodded.

**N: You'll try, but you will not succeed.**

**S: I have to.**

**N: It's impossible!**

**S: He threatened to kill you if I fail.**

Natasha looked at Steve and sighed.

**N: It's a life, against thousands. You can’t possibly have thought of hesitating.**

Steve put his hand on the wall, he looked at Natasha for a while, and looked at the wall.

Natasha approached him, somewhat angry.

**N: Steve, you know the choice you have to make!! It doesn’t matter, because the United States is not going to attack Russia. It's too risky!**

**S: Not if I fool them.**

**N: You can’t be serious.**

**S: I just hope Clint can get here in time.**

**N: Just do what they ask, Steve. Don’t worry about me.**

**S: You talk like if it's easy.**

**N: I imagine it’s not.**

Natasha laid her hand on Steve's back, which made him look into her eyes again.

**N: We should do what is best for the civilians, we are disposable, Steve. You need to keep that in mind.**

**S: You're not disposable for me.**

Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes and walked away from him. Steve unclenched his hand from the wall and looked at her.

**S: You don’t understand.**

Natasha turned her face a little bit to the side, but she didn’t look at Steve.

**N: I do.**

****

**S: Did they feed you?**

**N: Yes. And you?**

**S: Yes.**

**N: I wish I could take a shower, tho.**

Natasha smiled and turned more, looking into Steve's eyes.

**S: You're not smelling so bad.**

Steve teased, smiling back. Natasha looked serious again, a little thoughtful, and approached Steve again.

**N: Promise me something?**

Steve just stared at her, waiting for her to say what.

**N: Don’t do anything stupid. And let's sleep, I liked you as my personal pillow.**

**S: I even liked you as a personal blanket.**

They both smiled at each other and all Steve wanted was to giver her a peck on the lips now, but he has to content himself.

Steve lay down and Natasha lay practically on top of him, with her head resting on Steve's shoulder, her hand resting on his chest. She could feel the beating of his heart pulsing in her hand and she immediately felt bad for it.

Steve covered them and left an arm over Natasha's back, he looked down to try to see her face and noticed she was still with her eyes open.

**S: Is it hurting?**

Natasha had her mind elsewhere, thinking about what would happen in the next few days, the threat the manager made saying it was her last night of peace... She knows it will be terrible days for her and she has to do her best for Steve does not notice, because the pain he feels when he sees her hurt, it hurts her too.

 _Is this what they call empathy?_ Natasha wondered, trying to justify why she bothered that Steve was distressed by her.

It took Natasha a few seconds to get back to her and understand what Steve was saying.

**N: No, I don’t even remember the cut is there.**

**S: I don’t want you to think I am diminishing you, I just don’t like the idea of you getting hurt.**

Natasha lifted her head from Steve's shoulder so she could look into his eyes and she gave a slight smile, but with a sad look.

**N: I know. But I am fine. Don’t worry.**

Steve nodded and the two of them stared at each other with nothing more to say.

Steve looked away from her eyes, just to admire the features of Natasha's face, the lines that form her face appear to have been drawn to attract him and any other man. She is simply a beautiful woman. Even without makeup.

 _I love you, Natasha Romanoff._ Steve said in his thought, and looked at Natasha's eyes again.

For a few seconds his eyes stared her lips and he felt, as always, this terrible and insistent attraction to her mouth. He was no longer thinking about anything, he just felt the need to stick his lips to hers and kiss her for the rest of his life. He would do it if it were possible and he would totally try if Natasha allowed it.

Steve moved his lips toward Natasha's, but when he got too close, Natasha looked down and laid her head on Steve's shoulder again.

**N: We... We should sleep. Good night, Rogers.**

**S: Good night...**


	29. They can't break me

Natasha tried her best to sleep or at least rest. At least she was able to remain laying down, the night was very cold, but Steve's body and the duvet helped keep her body warm.

Natasha nodded slightly to watch Steve, he is sleeping heavily.

Natasha knows the weight on his back at the moment. If Steve could take it any longer, before deciding anything. It's not about her life, it's her children's lives.

If he saves her, the children will be lost in the midst of a war. Steve can’t choose between her and the kids, but if he has to choose, he will make the decision she would make. The children. The children need a future.

Natasha was more relieved when she came to this conclusion. Steve will come to the same conclusion and understand that it is necessary to preserve peace, no matter what happens to her.

When Steve awoke, Natasha closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. Steve tried to stretch himself without moving too much of Natasha's body, so as not to wake her. He yawned and brought his hand up to Natasha's shoulder.

Steve was staring at her, and he stroked her face gently.

And, as Natasha was already expecting, he began to think about everything that was happening and came to the same conclusion as she did. War means losing his children, destroying their home.

Steve sighed and Natasha yawned, pretending to be waking up just now.

**N: You must have slept very badly.**

Natasha said coming out of Steve's body and lying next to him. Steve smiled a little.

**S: I slept well.**

**N: I know you're going to do the best you can.**

**S: Nat, what if you...**

**N: Break the door and leave? Then I would be a dead woman. I can dominate a group of guards at once, but not all of them. One hour they would hit me and they would hit you as well.**

Steve looked at her in disappointment.

**S: Maybe the two of us together.**

**N: Steve... I'm sorry, but you don’t even have your shield, we have no guns, I can’t risk it. You have to go back to them.**

Steve looked at her, already understanding that she was referring to their children.

**S: I'm getting us out of here. I swear!**

**N: I know you will try.**

Natasha sat on the mattress and laid her hand on Steve's chest, smiling. Steve sat too, but a little further back. He watched Natasha's back and rested his hand on the mattress behind her. Natasha felt Steve's movement but she didn’t move. Steve has tried something with her the night before and he is stupid enough to try again.

Steve leaned closer and brought his face to Natasha's shoulder, and she was looking forward, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

Steve put his face between Natasha's hair and pulled the air to smell her scent. He let his face move through her hair forward until his lips touched Natasha's ear. Steve kissed her ear and Natasha immediately closed her eyes and let out a sigh.

Steve was testing the terrain, seeing if he tamed the beast.

Natasha reacted well to the first approaching attempt. Steve brought his other hand up to Natasha's belly and leaned gently on it, making her belly have a little spasm at his touch.

Steve watched her, while Natasha kept her eyes closed. He kissed her ear again and slid his nose lightly to her cheek, placing another kiss, but on her cheek this time.

Steve felt more confident to approach his mouth to Natasha's mouth and he kissed the corner of her mouth. Steve now tried to kiss her lips, but Natasha lowered her head, making the kiss catch on the side of her forehead.

She won’t take that from him. Not now. Steve wants and he will have that kiss.

Steve didn’t know if he was crazy, but he didn’t give up, he hold  Natasha's chin and made her lift her face. Steve made her turn her face to him and at that time, Natasha opened her eyes and everything she didn’t want to see, she was seeing now... All this desperate love in Steve's eyes.

Natasha likes that, she can’t deny it, but It feels weird for her because she has never felt anything like this before.

Steve lowered his hand to Natasha's neck and made her tilt her head back a little. He took a good time just staring at her face with love. When Natasha couldn’t stand his gaze, and stared to somewhere else, Steve stroked her face, until she looked back at him.

Steve knows why she tries so much to not look into his eyes, it’s because he's reaching her, he’s reaching her heart and she's doing everything to prevent it.

And it was with open eyes that Steve approached Natasha's face again. He brushed his lips over hers lightly, and he could feel the hot air from her mouth on his lips.

Natasha was also looking at Steve and then she looked at his lips, closing her eyes.

Natasha's slightly parted lips was assuring for Steve that she was giving herself to him in that moment. Finally.

Steve gave Natasha a slight suck on her lower lip and released it, looking back in her eyes, he sucked her lower lip again, and Natasha joined her upper lip to his, sealing the kiss, she herself had the initiative to introduce the tongue on that kiss, squeezing it against Steve's lips and making him catch her tongue with his mouth and suck gently.

Natasha lifted her hand up to Steve's face and let it rest on his face as Steve quickened the rhythm of the kiss, which started hyper-calm, but Steve felt a bit insecure, a fear of not being able to kiss her again and he wanted to the kiss to last forever, he pressed his lips to hers and ran his tongue over hers, as if it were the first time. So intense, so hungry, that Natasha's body didn’t react, her body softened completely, as Steve owned her lips.

Natasha and Steve were pulling air through their nostrils and it wasn’t enough to breathe. Natasha had to push Steve's chest so she could breathe a little, just a little because he kissed her again with all his might.

The kiss didn’t last longer, just because they heard somebody knocking the door.

**\- Breakfast!**

The two stopped and stared at their lips, now super red lips, then they stared at the door being opened. The guard looked at them, already judging that the two of them were actually fucking and smirked. He dropped 2 plates of porridge again and before leaving he announced…

**\- The chief wants to talk to you, Captain. As soon as you finish the breakfast or whatever you two were doing here...**

Steve nodded.

The door  was closed and the two looked at each other, feeling a little awkward. Natasha wiped the corner of her mouth and took the plate and she ate only 3 spoonful.

Steve looked at her.

**S: Aren’t you hungry?**

Natasha now had a serious countenance, she made negate with her head, she got up and walked inside the cell, trying to empty her head. Steve was surprised by her behavior, he would say something about it, but they knocked on the door again and opened it.

**\- Captain.**

**S: I'm not even finished.**

**\- It's time.**

Steve sighed and set the plate on the floor, standing up. He looked at Natasha coming toward him and hugging him tightly. Steve thought it was strange, because she was shaking a little, but it must have been just an impression. Steve stroked her face and gave a peck on her lips, before leaving.

Steve was taken back to the leader's presence.

**\- So, Mr. Rogers...**

**S: I need to say I don’t agree with this, but I'll try...**

**\- Try?**

**S: I am not a man of false promises. I'll do my best.**

**\- You're a smart man, Mr. Rogers, I'm going to put you in touch with the Avengers base, but don’t try to fool me.**

**S: I'll have to fake other reasons for you to get what you want.**

**\- How you're going to get your country into it, it's your business. I only want the results.**

...

Natasha was leaning against the wall, her feet crossed, just waiting, until they finally opened the door.

Three guards entered.

**\- Bath time, princess.**

Natasha didn’t change her expression, she showed no fear, no courage, no sarcasm. She was no longer present, because she knew what was coming.

The guards took Natasha to a room with a warmer temperature than where she was. The manager was facing two large metal tubs, he turned and looked at Natasha.

**\- The dreaded Black Widow.**

He moved closer to Natasha and touched her chin.

**\- They say that the training of Russian spies are the most efficient. I suppose you've been through a lot of tests, but let’s see how much you can handle.**

**N: You can’t break me.**

The manager smiled.

**\- Let's find out. Remove her clothes.**

The guards ripped off Natasha's clothes, and she didn’t resist, they grabbed her arms and put her close to the first bathtub. Natasha barely had time to prepare, they shoved her into the tub, holding her wrists and ankles as the manager sat on the edge of the tub and slowly sank her head into the water.

He looked into her eyes and Natasha stared at him underwater still with a defiant look, which faded the manager's smile.

Natasha blinked her eyes, trying to clear her eyes and felt the air drain from her lungs. When the air was over, she bounced with her body, trying to get back to the surface, but the general kept her head in the water and he could smile again as she struggled to breathe.

Natasha was losing her body movements and her eyes rolled up and the last little bubble of air escaped from her nostril. She was fainting, at which point he pulled her out of the water, Natasha was taken out of water for only a few seconds, he put her head back on the water, causing her to choke on the water as she tried to breathe.

The manager repeated that several times, until Natasha fainted for good.

They removed her body from the water, but she was still unconscious.

**\- She resisted more than I expected. Hand me the electric cable.**

The guards stretched out an electric cable and the manager grabbed the tip and pressed the cable on Natasha's rib, causing a huge electric shock in her body. Natasha woke up right away with the shock. He removed the cable for a few seconds and put it back into her belly, making her shake like crazy again.

When the manager finally got tired of playing electrician, Natasha bowed to the floor, the tears that fell were involuntary. She looked at the manager, her body still spasming.

**N: Y-you... You d-didn’t... You didn’t ask.**

****

The manager looked at her, not understanding.

**N: You didn’t ask anything. You didn’t try to take any information from me...**

The manager smiled.

**\- I know. I'm not interested in information, I'm interested in your pain.**

Natasha closed her eyes with the tiredness she was feeling.

**\- Put her in the second tub.**

The guards held Natasha's body and she did not see that she was being placed in a tub filled with ice. She tried to get up in vain because her body was weak. This time nobody had to sink her, the weakness did not allow her to try to stay on the surface. She tried her best to keep her head up for breath, but the manager leaned her forefinger on Natasha's forehead and made her sink.

Natasha's body clashed with the icy water and she had a hypothermic crisis. They took her out and as soon as she recovered she was put back, and shocked her belly again.

...

**Sarah: MOMMY! MOMMYYYY!!!!**

**Cindy: Sarah? Sarah!**

Sarah was calling out loudly for Natasha in the middle of the night. Cindy laid her hand on Sarah's face and shook her lightly until she woke.

Sarah opened her eyes in fear and she was completely sweaty.

**Cindy: Sarah, you were dreaming. It was just a nightmare.**

**Sarah: Mama!**

**Cindy: Oh my God, you're shaking so much and you’re cold.** **Come here.**

Cindy hugged Sarah who cried for almost half an hour, until she went to sleep again.

When Cindy tried to put Sarah back in the bed, she woke up again and started crying desperately, this time calling for Steve. Cindy tried to calm her down anyway, but it only got worse. Sarah was getting hysterical. James, who was asleep on the couch, awoke and he got scared.

**J: Sarah, what is that? What is going on?**

**Sarah: Daddy.**

Sarah was sobbing.

**Cindy: Sarah, calm down, please. You know, he's coming back soon, he was supposed to be here today, but he must be late, but tomorrow he will be back, you will see.**

No use, Sarah screamed even more. Cindy's grandmother appeared in the living room, leaning on the walker.

**Cindy: Grandma, what are you doing standing up? You know it's dangerous.**

**\- The little girl is crying. What is it, sweetie? Come here with Grandma.**

Mrs. Johnson sat in the chair and Sarah climbed on her lap, still crying a lot. Cindy had already called Steve earlier but she could not get in touch with him and Steve always calls to hear from the kids and to warn that he will be late.

Cindy's grandmother calmed Sarah and she slept again. James slept sitting up, not understanding what was happening. Cindy laid him down on the couch and put Sarah on the mattress.

...

Steve had no idea what was going on with Natasha, in the morning, the leader put his technicians to connect him with the United States, but the signal was very bad. Only in the middle of the afternoon, Steve got a direct connection with the Avengers Base. JARVIS reported that Stark was asleep and if he should wake him up. Steve said yes and waited.

**_T: I hope you have a good reason to wake me up._ **

**_S: Stark, listen to me, there was a problem. Not here, at a place called Hassam. Can you locate it?_ **

**_T: I'm in bed, but... JARVIS. Put it on the screen for me._ **

**_JARVIS designed a screen, showing the place._ **

**_T: What's in there?_ **

**_S: I need you to send a team there. And end the conflict in that region._ **

**_T: What? Conflict?_ **

The signal started to fail and the call was ended. Tony was confused and asked JARVIS to gather information about the city that Steve quoted. Tony saw that the place was at war with Russia and didn’t quite understand why Steve wants them to get into a war that is not theirs, but being Captain America, there must be a good reason.

...

The guards dressed Natasha in another dress and took her back to the cell late in the afternoon. She was fainted when Steve returned to the cell.

Steve saw her lying down and thought she was asleep. He was surprised that she changed her clothes.

Steve wondered if Tony was really going to do what Steve asked, he was intending to say something for him understand that this is a trap, but the call was ended too early, but if Tony thinks about it, he'll see that Steve has barely passed information and will be suspicious of anything, but if Tony relies blindly on Steve, he'll move his sticks to send more avengers and the US Army into this isolated war.

Steve sat on the floor so as not to disturb Natasha and he couldn’t stop thinking about what he did, if he causes a war, he will never forgive himself.

A few hours later, Natasha regained consciousness and woke up startled, sitting up abruptly and letting out a kind of muffled cry. Steve looked at her in surprise.

**S: Natasha?**

Natasha looked at Steve in a frightened way, but she tried to disguise so she wouldn’t worry Steve.

**S: Are you all right?**

Steve frowned.

Natasha now felt a severe pain in her belly caused by the shocks she received, she frowned but didn’t show more than that.

**N: I'm fine.**

**S: Are you sure?**

**N: Y-yes... I had a nightmare.**

Steve got up and approached Natasha, sitting on the mattress beside her.

Natasha looked away.

**S: Do you want to tell me about it?**

**N: No... It was just a dream. It’s silly.**

Natasha tried to smile.

**N: Anyway, how was there today?**

**S: I talked to Tony.**

**N: And?**

**S: I told him I had a problem in that city and that he needs to solve.**

**N: Oh, God, Steve! He's going to send people there and...**

Natasha felt a terrible pain as she exclaimed and she showed on her face. Steve looked at her, concerned and leaned against her back, causing Natasha to back away.

**S: What is that?**

**N: Nothing! I just ate something that didn’t do me good.**

**S: Natasha ...**

**N: I'm fine, Steve!**

Natasha looked him in the eye and repeated that she was fine.

**S: I hope Tony understands that something is wrong, I didn’t mention the mission here and I expect it to pop into him.**

**N: If Clint comes the day after tomorrow, he's going to be cornered.**

**S: Let's hope he will not and Tony sends reinforcements here.**

Natasha tried to move on the mattress to be more comfortable, but the pain was really bothering her. She lay down again and Steve sat, looking at her.

**S: You seem to be in pain.**

**N: I told you. My belly hurts.**

Steve sighed looking at Natasha.

**N: Come and lie with me.**

Natasha looked into his eyes and she never ask something like that.

**N: Please.**

Steve lay on his side and watched Natasha looking back at him trying to hide the pain she was feeling at all costs.

**N: I have to ask you something.**

**S: What is it?**

**N: Kiss me again like you kissed me this morning…**

Steve stared her.

**N: I need to feel something. I need to feel anything.**

Steve looked at her a little confused, why is she so emotional? Looks like he's saying goodbye to her.

 _I won’t let her die._ Steve thought, as he brought his lips closer to Natasha's, kissing her as she wanted.

This time there was no one to interrupt the kiss, causing the intensity to increase rapidly, causing sighs and small groans of satisfaction and pain, in Natasha's case.

Steve instinctively leaned his body over Natasha's and grabbed her waist.

Natasha saw stars with the pain she felt, she choked on the kiss and Steve interrupted the kiss to look at her worriedly.

 _This is not a simple bellyache_. Steve realized.

Natasha returned to herself in seconds and Steve looked at her inquiringly. Steve frowned and looked at Natasha's belly, he put his hand on her dress to lift, but Natasha put her hand over his.

Steve looked into her eyes.

**S: You lied to me.**

Natasha just sighed.

**S: Let me see.**

**N: Steve, don’t...**

Steve pulled Natasha's hand away and lifted her dress, watching the marks that the electric cable left through her belly. Steve felt his throat dry and his heart break. He turned her slowly to see how far the bruises went, and saw that even her back was bruised.

Natasha looked at him worriedly.

**N: Steve...**

Steve couldn’t answer, he was in shock, how could he be so dumb to have left her alone there. He will never forgive himself for it.

**N: There was nothing you could do.**

Natasha justified.

Steve clenched his fist, he looked at the cell door and sat up, staring at the door with hate. Natasha sat up and laid her hands on his face.

**N: Steve! Steve, please. Look at me. Don’t do anything. Don’t do anything stupid.**

Steve didn’t look at Natasha, his breathing was altered and all he thought was to kill everyone in that environment. Steve got up and Natasha tried to hold his legs and his hand.

**N: Steve, please don’t!**

Steve started pounding on the door and shouting for the guards. Natasha struggled to get to her feet, and when she managed to stand, the door opened. The first guard Steve saw, Steve grabbed him by the throat and others came aiming guns.

Natasha walked with difficulty until she reached Steve.

**N: Steve, listen to me, don’t do this. Don’t face them. They will kill you!**

**S: I don’t care.**

**N: But I do!**

Steve stopped and looked at Natasha's eyes.

**N: I care about you. Please… Think about the kids, let him go, please.**

Steve took three deep breaths to loosen the neck of the guard who was carried out. The door was closed and Natasha nearly collapsed, Steve took her in his lap and laid her back on the mattress.

**S: I'm sorry.**

**N: It's not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. I can handle this.** **You have to trust me.**

**S: I can’t allow this to happen again.**

**N: It's not in your hands.**

Steve lay next to Natasha again.

**S: I don’t know how to make your pain go away.**

**N: I just need to distract myself. Tell me anything… Tell me about the kids.**

**S: I...**

**N: Please.**

**S: Okay.**

Steve reached into his uniform pocket and pulled out a folded photo from inside his pocket. Steve unfolded the photo and showed Natasha who held the picture and smiled.

**S: That was in the camping. James was only 3 years old and Sarah was about 5 months old, I guess. You took this picture, you were the only one who could make James smile…**

Steve smiled as he remembered that day. Natasha stopped looking at the photo to look at Steve's expression as he spoke of her children. Love was too obvious.

**S: James looks so much like me, you know, though redheaded and Sarah reminds me a lot of my mother. Her name is in honor of my mother.**

**N: I didn’t know that... Or rather, I didn’t remember.**

**S: James was named in honor of Bucky. James was so jealous of Sarah at the time, when she came home for the first time. Not of me, but of you with her. He couldn’t see you nursing that he'd get some bruise to get your attention.**

**N: So he's pretty dramatic… like his father.**

Steve looked away from the photo at Natasha and smiled.

**S: I'm getting us out of here.**

**N: I know.**

Steve kissed Natasha's forehead and laced his fingers in hers before they both fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nat is about to suffer a little more =[


	30. End of Mission

As soon as dawn broke, Cindy called the Avengers tower.

Tony, who was still drowsy when he heard Steve's request, was already preparing to assemble the team and warn the American government about the military intervention in Hassam.

**_JARVIS: Sir..._ **

**T: JARVIS, dammit! I have to reprogram you, you just call me out of nowhere.**

**_JARVIS: I'm sorry, sir, it’s just because Miss Cindy Johnson wishes to speak to you._ **

**T: Cindy? Who the hell is that? Is she hot?**

**_JARVIS: She's the Rogers' nanny._ **

**T: Oh, again? You can transfer the call, she must have changed her mind about my proposal.**

**_JARVIS: Yes, sir._ **

**_Cindy: Mr. Stark?_ **

**_T: The only one._ **

**_Cindy: You have contact with Steve, right?_ **

**_T: Did you call to talk about Steve?_ **

**_Cindy: Yeah, actually, about his kids. Why else would I call?_ **

**_T: Er... You're right._ **

**_C: I wanted to know if everything is okay._ **

**_T: Yes, sure. Why?_ **

**_C: He always calls to know about the kinds and he said he would be back home yesterday, but he didn’t come back and didn’t even contact his kids any of those days, Sarah doesn’t stop crying wanting her parents._ **

**_T: CINDY!_ **

**_C: What???_ **

**_T: You're absolutely right! You're right. The mission was suppose to end yesterday. Didn’t Rogers call to hear about his children?_ **

**_C: No, that’s what I’m saying…_ **

**_T: Um... Thank you, Cindy. Don’t worry, tell my son that his father is fine and Steve is too._ **

**_C: Your son?_ **

Tony hung up the phone.

**T: JARVIS!**

...

Well, finally a light went on in Tony Stark's head after the nanny’s call. Steve would never not call to know about his kids, so there's something wrong.

Tony tried to communicate with Steve's shelter and no one answered, then he called Clint's.

**_C: Hey, boss?_ **

**_T: Barton, have you heard from Steve's team?_ **

**_C: Ham... they invaded the base and asked me to wait at least 5 days._ **

**_T: It was an ambush._ **

**_C: So I'm going to rescue them right now._ **

**_T: No. If it were simple like that, Steve, Natasha and the STRIKE team would have solved it by themselves. Don’t go there. I'll send reinforcements._ **

**_C: Will I sit while they are in danger?_ **

**_T: I'm sorry, but if you go there alone, it will not help at all. I'm sending reinforcement as soon as possible._ **

**_C: I hope a certain man with glasses who turns into a green monster, will come._ **

**_T: He will._ **

...

Meanwhile, Steve refused to leave the cell, despite Natasha's protests.

The guards got angry and threatened to shoot Steve if he did not leave and they just didn’t shoot because the leader gave strict orders to not hurt Steve. The guards got out of the cell and went to report what happened to the leader.

Natasha and Steve stayed in the cell all morning, no meal this time.

**N: Steve ...**

**S: I know what I'm doing, Natasha. Just trust in me.**

**N: Do you think this will stop him? I told you I can handle it.**

**S: You don’t have to handle anything.**

In the early afternoon the leader opened the door and looked at them both. Natasha was feeling better already.

**S: We had an agreement. You hurt her!**

**\- I did not hurt anyone. I did not even give orders for it.**

**S: Lie!**

**\- I'll prove it to you. Come with me.**

Steve did not move. The leader rolled his eyes.

**\- You can bring your wifey along!**

Steve and Natasha followed the leader into the room where Natasha was tortured. Steve looked at all the instruments of torture and felt like throwing up when he imagined Natasha going through that kind of stuff.

Steve saw the manager being pulled out of the tub, passed out.

**\- I'm a man of my word, I only knew what happened this morning, and he's going to pay for what he did.**

**S: That's not what I had in mind.**

After all, Steve is a good man and thinks no one deserves to be tortured.

**S: If you're going to kill him. Do it at once.**

Natasha frowned and looked at Steve.

 _He said kill him?_ Natasha saw hatred in Steve's eyes, he's not in favor of executions, why is he talking about it? Is he capable of something like that?

**\- Do you want to finish this, yourself? You have the right.**

The leader handed Steve a gun.

Steve took the gun, which shocked Natasha even more.

Steve pointed the gun at the manager's head.

**N: Steve...**

Steve could only remember the marks on Natasha's body.

**N: That's not you…**

Natasha whispered.

**N: This is your anger commanding. Don’t be like that.**

Steve touched his finger on the trigger, but he did not shoot. He sighed and lowered the gun.

Natasha felt relief for Steve to back away. He is a good man, he can’t become vengeful.

Natasha approached Steve and slid a hand down his arm to reach his hand.

Natasha took Steve's gun and she herself pointed to the manager’s head and shot him and then she shot more five times through his body.

Steve froze.

**N: ... Don’t be like me.**

Natasha turned her face stained with bloodstains, looking into Steve's eyes, who was still perplexed.

 **\- Well, I've always admired that kind of woman. Now... Let's go to** **business.**

**S: I already did what you asked for.**

**\- Ha! Steve Rogers. Do you think I'm a fool? Do you think I do not know about your friends waiting here on the side?**

Natasha and Steve looked at each other.

**\- I trusted you, Captain. But you're trying to save time. Then I have to take more drastic measures.**

Steve got hit on the back of his neck, just like Natasha was and they both passed out and then, they woke up tied.

Steve was tied up in a chair and Natasha on a sort of pole in the living room, arms outstretched and tied.

Steve looked at Natasha, who was not showing any fear. She kept repeating to Steve in her mind that she was okay, that she could handle whatever it would come, Steve understood

**\- Well, this time we'll stream live a statement from you that your country will be intervening in Hassam.**

**S: I can’t do that.**

**\- Oh yes, you can.**

The leader approached Natasha.

**\- This business of electric shock, icy baths are only for questioning. I'm more practical.**

The leader grabbed Natasha's wrist and threatened to twist her arm.

**S: No!!**

Steve tried to pull himself out of the chair.

**\- So let's shoot!**

**N: Steve, it's okay! Don’t do it. If this is transmitted, it will be enough for Russia to attack the United States, it would be an endless war. Don’t do it! I can take it!**

**\- Shut up!!!**

The leader punched Natasha's face hard, causing a cut in her mouth and her nose to bleed. Steve squeezed the arm of the chair and he was still trying to break free.

**\- Shall we make the video or not?**

Steve looked at Natasha before answering. Natasha shook her head.

**S: I won’t do it.**

The leader raised his eyebrows in surprise.

**\- Well, I thought you loved her... Well, that's the way it is, so…**

The leader punched Natasha's belly with full force, making her bend her body as she could, she only moaned at the time of the punch and then she spat blood on the face of the leader.

**\- You are very bold, Black Widow. I know you don’t fear death.**

**N: You can’t kill me.**

**\- What makes you think that?**

**N: You're not man enough for that.**

The leader smiled and struck Natasha's rib directly, causing a fracture on it. He pulled Natasha's hair and forced her face up.

The leader looked at Steve, who was not looking at the assaults to stand firm.

**\- Look at her! Let's go! Look at the woman you love! Do something!!!**

Natasha started to laugh and hit her head on the leader’s head who was very close to her. Soon the men pointed their guns at Natasha.

**\- No! No! Don’t point at her. If he will not give me what I want, we don’t need him any more.**

**N: You know that if you kill him, your head will have a price and all your relatives. I'll make sure of that, you can bet your big white ass.**

The leader laughed again and suddenly a group of guards rushed in, shouting and the leader did not understand what was happening, but Natasha and Steve understood.

They understood after hearing the roar that they know well.

It was the Hulk. They could hear the screams and shots being fired at him.

The Leader flushed with anger and began to curse in his language.

An arrow with a blinking red light was fired and hit the wall and caused a mini blast.

The explosion hit the leader's legs and also hit the pole where Natasha was tied, causing her to fall over her foot, making it  twist during the fall.

Bobbi and Clint entered the room and looked at Steve and Natasha.

**C: Dude, you don’t even call me to party!**

The rest of the guards fired at Carol Danvers, Jessica Drew, Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, and a US Army elite.

Bobbi helped untie Natasha.

**N: You made me break my foot, Barton.**

**C: It's not broken, it's twisted.**

**N: Which is worse!**

**Bobbi: I have to put it back in place, okay?**

**N: That will be like tingling. Go ahead.**

Well, it was not ticklish, it was an excruciating pain.

Clint and Sam helped to free Steve.

**Bucky: Steve!**

Steve stood and looked at Bucky.

Bucky threw the shield for Steve to catch.

**S: Thank God Tony understood my message!**

**C: Well, we took this base but we don’t have time to chat, we need to go because the Hulk is going to put this place down.**

Bobbi helped Natasha to her feet, but she could barely support herself because of the punches she took and the newly twisted foot. Steve came to her and took her in his lap.

**N: I can walk!**

**S: I know!**

The avengers and the troops moved to the exit.

Steve left the shield in front of Natasha's body, but they both fell to the ground as they approached the corridor to leave the room.

Clint turned and looked at Steve and Natasha lying on the floor.

Natasha looked at Steve, confused and noticed that his eyes were responding.

**N: Steve???**

Natasha felt her arm get wet from something and when she looked at it she saw that it was blood. Natasha's lips parted, staring at the hole on Steve's chest from the shot he received from the leader, who, even dying on the floor, pointed the gun and shot Steve when no one else was paying attention.

Natasha looked at the leader behind Steve, then back at him.

**N: Steve???**

Natasha was shaking.

Steve closed his eyes and fell forward. Natasha did not know how to react, her breathing was altered and her first reaction was to shake Steve.

**N: STEVE! We have to go. Steve! You bastard, do not you dare die! CLINT! PLEASE!**

Natasha screamed for help and Clint approached and studied the wound.

**C: Danvers! Get Steve out.**

**N: Clint! It's very close to his heart! If got on his heart…**

Natasha was screaming.

**C: Calm down, Natasha. Let's get out of here.**

Bucky approached Natasha and took her in his lap. Natasha just watched Steve's body being carried by Carol Danvers out of the base.

The group left in time, before the Hulk destroyed everything it had on that base.

**N: Where did Carol lead Steve?**

**C: To the jet. Don’t worry.**

**B: He's very strong, Natasha.**

**N: Not for a bullet in the heart!!!**

**C: You don’t know if it hit his heart.**

**N: You saw the wound! I need to see him!**

Natasha tried to get down from Bucky's lap, but as she set foot on the floor, she staggered and fell. She couldn’t walk without being immobilized. And her fractured rib is not helping at all.

They took Natasha to Clint's shelter, which made her angry.

**C: Natasha, you need to be taken care of by the doctors.**

**N: CLINT! I have to go with him.**

**C: You can’t help him now, Natasha.**

**N: Clint, he needs to survive. Please. Help him.**

**C: Natasha, I guarantee they're doing what they can, you don’t remember but we have a great team of doctors, Steve is being operated on the jet on the way to the hospital. He will be all right.**

The shelter's doctor injected directly on Natasha's leg, a tranquilizer. She was very agitated.

When Natasha woke up, she was already back in the United States, on the infirmary of the Avengers Base. She sat on the stretcher and pulled all the strings and tubing attached to her body.

**B: He's fine!**

Natasha looked at the only person inside the room with her.

**B: He is very lucky, the bullet passed too close to his heart.**

**N: Where is he?**

**B: In the hospital. But he is out of risk.**

**N: I need to see him.**

**B: Wow, it looks like your memory is back.**

Natasha looked at Bucky, not understanding this quote.

**N: I don’t know what you're talking about.**

**B: All your concern about him…**

**N: Really, Barnes? Don’t come with jealousy now, I'm worried about him how I would be worried about any friend who was shot.**

**B: You would worry, but not like that.**

Natasha shook her head and sighed as she stood up.

**N: Maybe you're right.**

Natasha started looking for clothes to wear. Her foot was immobilized and her rib as well. She removed what immobilized her rib.

**N: Maybe I'm more worried because the fact that he's the father of my children.**

**B: You don’t have to be aggressive. I was just making an observation.**

**N: One that does not suit you.**

Natasha left the room, leaving Bucky behind, she crossed with Dr. Cho on the way, who tried to talk to her, but Natasha ignored her completely. She went to the locker room and got a change of clothes, got dressed, got the address of Steve's hospital and headed there.

Natasha found Sam in Steve's room.

**Sam: You should be resting.**

**N: How is he?**

Natasha approached Steve's stretcher.

**Sam: He will survive.**

**N: Has he woken up yet?**

**Sam: Yes. He asked about you and the children.**

Natasha looked at Sam.

**N: My God, the children!**

**Sam: They’re okay, I called to hear from them, they just miss you.**

**N: I have to go pick them. What day is Today?**

**Sam: 15.**

**N: 15? I was off for 2 whole days?**

Natasha snorted.

**N: Stay here with him, I'll get the kids.**

**Sam: All right.**

Natasha looked at Steve asleep on the stretcher and left the room. She called Cindy and Cindy told her that the children were at school. Natasha warned that she was going to get them and she apologized for the delay in returning.

Natasha took a cab and asked the driver to wait, while she would pick the kids.

Natasha went to the entrance of Sarah's nursery and the other mothers stared at the bruises on her body and face.

The bell rang and the children came out in a row.

Natasha approached Sarah and smiled at her, who smiled back, excited to see Natasha. Sarah ran and jumped into Natasha's arms that groaned in pain over the fractured rib.

Sarah's teacher approached Natasha.

**\- Natasha. I've been trying to contact you and Steve.**

**N: We were busy.**

**\- Yeah, I know. I saw the news.**

**N: Any problem?**

The teacher looked at Sarah and then at Natasha.

**\- Sarah has always been a great kid, but in recent days she has refused to do classroom activities and she has not done her homework. I am worried.**

Natasha looked at Sarah, who looked away.

**N: I understand. I'm going to talk to her and her father. I'm sorry, I need to get her brother.**

**\- Of course. See you tomorrow, Sarah.**

Natasha put Sarah on the floor and took her hand. The two of them walked to James' school.

**N: Why didn’t you do the homework, Sarah?**

Sarah shrugged her shoulders and said nothing.

**N: I missed you, you know that?**

Sarah looked at Natasha and smiled.

**Sarah: Where's Daddy?**

**N: Ham... Daddy's a little sick.**

**Sarah: I want my daddy.**

**N: I know, I'll take you guys to him, do not worry.**

When Natasha arrived at the entrance of James' school, the students had already left. James was waiting with the inspector.

James was also excited to see Natasha, he hugged her and also asked about his father.

**N: We'll see him now. Let's go.**

Natasha got into the taxi with the kids and inside the car, James looked at Natasha's face.

**J: You hurt, Mom?**

**N: Yes. Just a little.**

**J: My dad didn’t protect you?**

**N: He protected me yes. But it turns out that sometimes it's difficult to protect everyone.**

**J: And do you have any news?**

**N: News?**

**J: Yeah...**

Natasha frowned in confusion and shook her head.

**N: I don’t think so.**

James lowered his head, disappointed, he thought this mission would make his parents together again.

**N: What? Did you want a gift? I forgot. I’m sorry.**

**J: No... It's okay.**

When Natasha arrived at the hospital, Sarah was asleep. Natasha tried to carry Sarah in her lap, but the pain was too much. She called Sam and he came to help carry Sarah to Steve's room.

When they arrived in the room, Steve was awake.

James ran and hugged his father.

**J: DAD!**

**S: Champion! I missed you!**

Steve was very weak. He just ran his hand over James's head.

**N: James, please don’t jump at your dad like that. He's sick... Remember what I said?**

**S: It’s alright... Leave him, I was missing you.**

**J: Yeah, me too. Sarah cried every day. Like a baby! I did not, dad. I only cried one day and very little.**

**S: You're a very brave boy. And Sarah is very young, that’s why she cries.**

**J: Can we go home? I can’t sleep on the couch anymore.**

**S: I guess I can’t leave yet, James.**

**J: But I thought...**

**N: You will go home, James. I'll stay there with you until your father comes back.**

**J: Just until he comes back?**

Natasha looked at James and then at Steve. She didn’t know what to say. She looked away and Steve tried to dispel the tension in the room.

**S: James? And your baseball game? Did Cindy take you?**

**J: Yes! But my team lost.**

**S: We don’t always win.**

**J: Can I buy a soda? There's a machine in the hall.**

**S: I don’t have any money.**

**N: Here, James. Go and come back, okay?**

Natasha handed the money to James and he dashed out the door.

Steve looked at Natasha and she looked back at him.

**N: You scared the shit out of me.**

**S: I'm so sorry for that.**

**N: I do not apologize you. I would not have anything to say to them, if you...**

Natasha couldn’t say the words.

**S: Nothing much happened.**

**N: I cursed you a lot.**

**S: I'm already used to it.**

Natasha smiled and Steve smiled back.

**Sam: Guys, I need to go home. I need a shower...**

**S: Put Sarah here by my side.**

**N: No, you're hurt. Put her on the couch.**

Sam set her on the couch, but Sarah woke up. She didn’t open her eyes, but she began to cry.

**Sam: I'm sorry, I didn’t want to wake her up.**

**N: Alright.**

**S: You can go, Sam. Thank you.**

**Sam: Not for that.**

Sam left the room.

Natasha approached Sarah.

**N: Sarah, Daddy's here. Didn’t you want to see him?**

Sarah stopped crying and kept mumbling, she opened her eyes and looked at Steve on the stretcher. Steve smiled at her, and Sarah screamed again.

**S: It's okay, Sarah. Come here on dad.**

Sarah stood and walked over to Steve. She tried to climb onto the stretcher and Steve tried to pull her up.

**N: Steve you can’t pick her!**

**S: She will not calm down if I do not get her.**

Natasha helped Sarah up on the bed, she lay on top of Steve and laid her head on his shoulder. Steve kissed Sarah's forehead and she stopped the screaming. She still wept silently a little more.

**S: She gets very scared when we’re not around.**

**N: I don’t know what I'm going to do with her later without you.**

**S: Take the pacifier in her backpack, please.**

Natasha took Sarah's pacifier and handed it to Steve, who put it in her mouth.

**S: You just have to do this. Leave her on your lap and with the pacifier, she calms down. Or give her a bottle.**

**N: Oh God. It’s exhausting to be a mother.**

Natasha sat down on the couch and sighed, James returned in the room, taking the soda. Sarah lifted her head and held out her hand to James, wanting to take some.

**J: Oh no! It's mine.**

**S: Just a little bit, James.**

Sarah started to breathe heavily and opened her mouth again, letting the pacifier fall, crying again.

Natasha stood up.

**N: Oh my God, I'll buy one for you, Sarah! Wait, OK?**

Natasha left the room and came back a few minutes later with a soda can. Sarah put her hand directly over the wound on Steve's chest, making him bend with pain.

Natasha almost let the soda fall and approached quickly, holding Sarah's arm that looked at her frightened, trying to understand what she did wrong.

**N: It's bleeding!!!**

Sarah stared at the blood and began to cry, thinking that she had hurt Steve to that point.

**N: It's okay, Sarah!**

Natasha took Sarah in her lap and went into the hall to call a nurse. They came running.

**S: Take the kids out of here, Natasha.**

Steve said feeling even weaker, after bleeding again.

**J: But I want to stay!**

Steve was no longer able to speak because of the pain. The nurses began removing his hospital gown to check the stitches of the wound.

**N: Come on, James.**

**Sarah: Daddy. Daddy.**

**N: He's fine, Sarah. Here's the soda. Come**

Sarah grabbed the can and threw it to the floor, crying non-stop. Natasha was angry at her attitude but she controlled herself.

**N: Where's the damn pacifier?**

Natasha almost died to put Sarah on the floor, she returned in the room and saw the open wound of the shot that Steve took.

Natasha took Sarah's pacifier and looked at Steve who was fainting again. Natasha wanted to stay with him, but there's no way the kids could stay in the hospital.

Natasha went back to the kids, she put the pacifier in Sarah's mouth and took them home.


	31. This is Elisa

In the cab, Sarah was still shaking and her eyes watering. Natasha looked at her and felt her heart tighten.

**N: Sarah?**

Sarah looked at Natasha and threatened to drop the pacifier to start crying louder.

**N: Daddy's all right, okay? It was nothing, you saw there was several doctors taking care of him. It was just an accident.**

**J: What happened?**

Natasha looked at James and shook her head.

**N: Nothing, just a fright that Sarah took.**

**J: When does Dad come home?**

**N: I don’t know, James. I hope it doesn’t take too long.**

The taxi parked in front of Steve's building. When Natasha went out with the children, Sarah soon asked for a lap, but it was impossible for Natasha to carry her all this distance, she is hurt too.

**N: Want to bet a race?**

Sarah frowned. James started jumping.

**J: Yes! Yes!.**

Sarah smiled to see James excited.

**N: I'll count to 3 and you run. 1, 2, 3 and GO!**

Sarah and James started running and of course James arrived at the building's front door much faster, Sarah has short legs and she is extremely clumsy running, always folds her arms and swings them back and forth, trying to gain more speed with no success.

Natasha arrived at the lobby a few minutes later, dying of pain. She greeted the doorman and entered the elevator with the children.

Natasha forgot to take the key from Steve's apartment, but that was no problem for her, she managed to open it with a hair clip.

The children rushed into the house. James kicked the air, removing his shoes from his feet, throwing them away. Sarah took off her pacifier and put it on the floor and began to remove her uniform.

**J: Let's play cops and thieves, Sarah.**

Sarah laughed and started to chase after James, who climbed on the couch and jumped onto the coffee table, knocking a vase to the floor.

**N: James, no climbing things!**

**J: But I have to run away.**

**Sarah: I'll get you!!! HAAAA!**

Sarah spread her hands out in the air to frighten James.

Natasha grabbed her by the waist and lifted her off the floor.

**N: Sarah, you need to take a shower, come on.**

Natasha let go of Sarah in the hallway and she ran back into the living room, trying to catch James again, who ran behind the kitchen counter.

**N: I give up. I'll take a bath alone.**

Natasha left them alone in the living room and went to bathe in the bedroom’s bathroom. She took only ten minutes on the shower, she put on a Steve's shirt, since she did not have any clothes at his house.

Natasha frowned when she noticed the kids were extremely quiet.

 _They must have slept._ Natasha thought as she walked down the hall.

As she approached the living room, Natasha now heard them whispering. Natasha smiled, imagining them playing, but as soon as she arrived in the living room, the sight was chaotic.

How could two kids do all of that in ten minutes? There were rolls of toilet paper all over the room and on top of the kitchen counter. The floor was wet with milk, Sarah and James completely white with so much wheat flour in their hair and face.

Natasha couldn’t scream or speak.

James and Sarah looked at her and smiled.

**J: We made dinner, Mom.**

**Sarah: It's for you, Mama.**

Natasha still stood unmoved and incredulous. James and Sarah showed a bowl with a lot of things they mixed up in an attempt to cook.

**J: I did not put it in the oven, because Daddy does not allow us to touch the stove.**

**Sarah: Did you like it, Mama?**

The strangest part is that Natasha liked it. Of course she wanted to kill and shake these kids upside down for destroying the living room and the kitchen, but they did that to do something for her, and it's just stupid the feeling Natasha felt when she saw those two blue pairs of eyes .

 _How could I fight them if they are so proud of themselves?_ Natasha just smiled and nodded. She approached the bowl and set it on the counter.

**N: We will only agree, that next time, you will let me know beforehand.**

**J: But it was a surprise!**

**N: What about the toilet paper?**

**J: We wanted to decorate with tapes, but I did not find.**

**Sarah: Then I got the toilet paper.**

**N: I don’t know what I do with you two. Actually, I know. Go take a bath, both of you.**

**Sarah: Both?**

**N: Yes.**

**Sarah: We can not.**

**N: Why can’t you?**

**Sarah: Because Jamie is a boy.**

**N: Oh... Well, it's true. So you go ahead.**

**J: Oh no, she takes too long.**

**N: Then go you first, James.**

James ran into the bathroom and showered in less than 3 minutes. He left the bathroom, wrapped in the towel. Natasha looked at him with a frown.

**N: James, what was that bath? Let me see if you really took a shower.**

James went to Natasha, who was cleaning up the mess in the living room with Sarah.

**N: James there is ketchup on your neck. And look at those ears! They are filthy. You can go back to the bathroom, just leave when you're really clean.**

**J: Oh mom!**

**N: Oh nothing, go, move.**

James went back to the shower, and after he finished, it was Sarah's turn, and she insisted for Natasha to fill the tub for her to bathe.

Natasha filled the tub and called Sarah for the shower.

Sarah came in and Natasha was about to leave the bathroom.

**Sarah: Mama!**

**N: What?**

**Sarah: You have to stay.**

**N: Why???**

**Sarah: Daddy said I can’t be alone in the tub.**

**N: Why?**

**Sarah: He says I can drown.**

Sarah laughed at Natasha's impatience and began to play with the foams.

**Sarah: Mama?**

**N: What is it, Sarah?**

Natasha sighed and sat at the toilet

**Sarah: Get my Barbie?**

**N: Oh Sarah, you won’t be playing forever in there, will you?**

**Sarah: Please, Mama.**

Natasha sighed and called James. She asked him to get Sarah's Barbie.

Natasha handed her the doll, after James brought it.

**Sarah: Mama?**

Natasha just looked at Sarah.

**Sarah: You wash my hair?**

**N: Good God!**

Natasha sat on the edge of the tub and James ran into the bathroom with Natasha's cell phone in hand.

**J: Here, Mom, it’s Maria.**

James handed the cell phone to Natasha.

Natasha answered the call.

**_N: Hill..._ **

**J: Can I play video games? Can I? Can I, Mom? Please? Please, mom!**

**_N: Just a minute, Hill..._ **

Natasha took a deep breath.

**N: Go James, go!**

James ran to his room to play video games.

Natasha went back to talking to Hill.

**_H: So I heard about the mission, how is Steve?_ **

**_N: Getting better, I hope._ **

**_H: Um, that voice... Are the kids close?_ **

**_N: Yes. It was very difficult._ **

**_H: Really? What happened?_ **

Natasha took the shampoo and started to put on Sarah's hair, who decided to keep moving in the tub, Natasha held her hair tightly, unintentionally.

**Sarah: Ouch, mama!!!**

**_H: Poor girl, Natasha. Are you killing Sarah there?_ **

**_N: No, they're trying to kill me!_ ** **Sarah, stay quiet! _Hill, things are more complicated now, I need to talk to you._**

**_H: When you don’t need me?_ **

Some of the shampoo slipped into Sarah's eyes and she began to scratch her eyes and grumble.

**_N: Oh. Dammit!... Hill, I have to go._ **

**_H: Where is the nanny?_ **

**_N: I can’t leave them with the nanny again for so long._ **

**_H: But at least they would be safer._ **

**_N: Shut up._ **

Sarah was grunting louder now.

**_ N: Shit! Calm down, Sarah. Wait. _ **

Natasha had to hang up on Hill's face.

Natasha washed Sarah’s face.

**N: Don’t cry, please.**

Sarah looked at Natasha with her red eyes from so much rubbing, she just made a sad face and took the Barbie back to play.

Natasha rinsed Sarah's hair and emptied the tub. Sarah yawned as Natasha wrapped her in the towel and lead her to the bedroom.

**N: Bedtime?**

Sarah nodded. Natasha helped Sarah put on her panties and her pajamas.

Sarah yawned again, she walked to the door and Natasha watched her.

Sarah went to Steve's room.

**Sarah: Daddy?**

_No, no, no._ _Don’t call him now, please._ Natasha screamed in her thoughts, already approaching Sarah.

**Sarah: Daddy? Daddy?**

**N: Sarah...**

Sarah didn’t look at Natasha, she went to Steve's bathroom, looking for him.

**N: You know your father is not here. He is in the hospital.**

Sarah looked at Natasha and her eyes filled with tears. Natasha immediately picked her up.

**N: We'll see him tomorrow again, I promise.**

**Sarah: Daddy...**

**N: I know, I know. It’s alright.**

Natasha walked to the kitchen and tried to put Sarah on the floor, but she spread her legs, wanting to stay on her lap. Natasha even forgot the pain she was feeling, the most important thing was to prevent Sarah from crying.

Natasha took her bottle from the refrigerator and warmed up in the microwave.

Natasha handed the bottle to Sarah and walked Sarah’s room.

Sarah laid her head on Natasha's shoulder. Instinctively Natasha kissed Sarah's forehead and rested her chin protectively against her forehead.

Sarah took half of the bottle and fell asleep without crying. Natasha laid her on the bed and as soon as she moved away, Sarah opened her eyes, but she was not threatening to cry.

Natasha stopped and stared at her, very apprehensive.

**N: What?**

Sarah said nothing, she lay on her side, and closed her eyes again.

Natasha raised her eyebrows, Sarah is really crazy, but there's something very charming about her. Natasha stroked Sarah's hair, covered her up, and kissed her forehead.

When Natasha walked out of Sarah’s room, she ran into James, staring at her accusingly.

Natasha closed the door to Sarah's room and James was still staring at Natasha.

**J: Sarah is very whiny.**

Natasha was now analyzing James's attitude in observing her with Sarah and he is always saying that Sarah cries a lot and he always teases her, especially when Natasha is around.

Natasha concluded that James is extremely jealous as Steve is, but he is tough as she is, he is very proud to say that he does not cry like Sarah, but he probably missed having her around more than Sarah.

**N: You know what, it's true. She cries a lot.**

James frowned, he hoped Natasha would defend Sarah.

**N: Do you want to sleep with me?**

**J: I'm big!**

James frowned.

**N: I know, but I'm afraid to stay in that big bedroom without your father. You’re the man of the house now, you can protect me.**

James continued to frown.

**J: Okay. But wait.**

James ran into his bedroom to turn off the video game and he picked up his toy gun.

**J: Now we can go.**

Natasha smiled and went to Steve's room with James.

Natasha couldn’t sleep right away. James hugged her so tightly that it only proved Natasha's theory, he still wants cuddle and hugs, but he doesn’t know how to ask or express it.

After James fell asleep, Natasha picked up the cell phone and called Steve's hospital, wanting to know some news about him and they reported that the bleeding was controlled.

**_\- He's awake now, do you want to talk to him?_ **

**_N: Hm..._ **

Natasha didn’t know what to answer, but she already called, so it's better talk to him.

**_N: Yes..._ **

**_\- Just a moment._ **

The nurse transferred the call to Steve's room, reporting it was Natasha.

**_S: Natasha? What happened?_ **

**_N: Nothing..._ **

**_S: Something with the kids?_ **

**_N: No, they're fine. They are sleeping. James is sleeping here in bed with me._ **

**_S: How was with Sarah?_ **

**_N: First I thought it was okay, she and James started to play, but at bedtime, she started calling for you, making me desperate._ **

Natasha smiled and Steve smiled too, imagining the scene, and they both could sense that the other was smiling, just by the way they spoke.

**_S: Did they eat?_ **

**_N: Sarah took a half bottle and James... Oh, I forgot to ask if he wanted to have dinner. I'll wake him up._ **

**_S: No, if he's already slept, leave it. In the morning he eats more._ **

Soon an awkward silence remained on the line, but neither of them hung up or made mention of it.

**_S: Has your foot improved?_ **

**_N: Are you in pain?_ **

They both spoke at the same time, after the long silence.

**_S: You first..._ **

**_N: No, you, please._ **

**_S: No, I’m not in pain, they're giving me painkillers. I wanted to leave tomorrow, but they said only in four days. But I could leave after tomorrow if I'm not alone at home. I'm seeing if Sam or Carol can stay at home to help me._ **

**_N: I can stay, Steve._ **

**_S: Hm..._ **

**_N: If you want..._ **

**_S: I don’t want to give you any work._ **

**_N: After all you've done to protect me, it's the least I can do._ **

Again the silence took place in the conversation. They didn’t even felt weird for just being listening to each other's breathing.

**_N: I'm going to sleep._ **

**_S: Okay._ **

**_N: I promised the children I would take them to see you tomorrow._ **

**_S: Alright, I'm already much better._ **

**_N: Okay._ **

**_S: Okay..._ **

Weird silence again...

**_S: Good night._ **

**_N: Good night._ **

Natasha hung up the phone.

 _What the fuck was that?_ Natasha thought. _Why all this drama on the phone? Imagine when he's here._

Natasha fell asleep and the next day she struggled to get the kids ready for school, after leaving them, Natasha returned to the Avengers Base infirmary and took a scolding from Dr. Cho.

Natasha insisted that she needed some painkillers, that she was taking care of her children and that she was going to remove the immobilizer from her foot.

**N: You know I'm being nice to ask, I might as well pick it up, without anyone knowing.**

**Cho: Taking medicine indiscriminately can be dangerous.**

**N: I know, so I came to consult the best doctor at the base, according to what I was told.**

Cho sighed ended up handing the medication to Natasha.

**N: You know, I should take for Steve too...**

**Cho: Don’t force your luck, Natasha. The Captain is in the best hospital in town, they'll prescribe pills for him.**

**N: I'm just saying that I trust you more and I don’t say that to everyone.**

**Cho: Not really, but leave the doctors who took care of Steve, decide what he should take. I need to go. And take just 1 pill per day. If you feel a lot of pain, 2 at the most.**

Natasha nodded and as soon as Cho walked away, she took 2 pills at once and removed the immobilizer off her foot.

Those painkillers were developed by Cho and Banner and have a much more potent effect without leaving the person doped. Soon after that, Natasha headed for SHIELD, she had agreed with Hill to meet her there.

Natasha arrived in Hill's office and knocked on the door, even though it was open, just to alert her presence.

Hill was talking to Fitz and Jemma.

**H: So you already know, I want this ready until the end of the day.**

**Fitz: Impossible, if we accelerate the process, the particles can explode.**

**H: Let explode then.**

**JE: B-but...**

**H: We've created a room that's proof of just about everything, just for that. Go.**

**JE: Yes, ma'am.**

Jemma and Fitz got up and looked at Natasha.

Fitz prodded Jemma repeatedly.

**Fitz: T-t-the b-bla...**

**JE: Black Widow! Yes, it is her.**

**N: How are you?**

**Fitz: D-did she talk to us?**

**JE: Yes. Uh, and we are fine, Widow, thanks. And you?**

**H: Omg stop fangirling the Black Widow. You have job to do, so move.**

Natasha stepped out of the way for Jemma and Fitz to pass.

Natasha entered Hill’s office and closed the door.

Hill looked at Natasha, analyzing her.

**H: Should I order a drink before this conversation starts? I think I should get a drink.**

**N: Hill, me and Steve...**

**H: Okay, okay, I'm gonna need a drink to hear this conversation.**

**N: Hill, stop.**

**H: Have you had sex again?**

**N: No**! Of course not. He just kissed me.

**H: Hm... I don’t understand you.**

**N: Neither I do, this time it was... It was different.**

Natasha approached the chair and sat down, spinning it.

Hill leaned across the table and folded her arms.

**H: Did you feel anything?**

**N: I don’t know. Well, I did, but... I don’t want to feel that again.**

**H: You're remembering maybe.**

**N: No, I don’t remember anything. And I was the one who asked him to kiss me, I wanted him so much at that moment.**

**H: You're obviously still very attracted to him.**

**N: Yes, I never denied it.**

**H: What about the Witch?**

**N: That’s why I’m here, I need you to schedule with her.**

**H: Are you sure?**

**N: Yes. When I'm away from him it's so much easier. I feel free. And when I'm around him, it's like I'm stuck, and it's like I can’t escape.**

**H: Because you can’t or because you don’t want to escape?**

**N: I really don’t know anymore.**

**H: You talk like you're in love. Are you in love?**

Natasha looked at Hill and Hill looked back at her with raised eyebrows. They both laughed.

**N: You know I'm not.**

**H: I don’t know, you just talk about hi,.**

**N: I know... But if I remember it will be good for everyone.**

**H: It seems so.**

**N: I mean everyone, but Bucky. He's in love with me.**

**H: When wasn’t he?**

**N: But he was on his own, without expressing it and I started to poke him all the time, I made his feelings come back to the surface and I made a promise to Steve. I can’t ever get involved with Bucky.**

Natasha and Hill had a lot of talk, until it was time to pick the kids at school. Natasha picked them up and took them to the hospital to visit Steve.

Upon arriving in the hallway of Steve's room, Natasha could hear Steve talking to someone, whom she deduced, it was Sam or even Bucky.

When Natasha arrived at the door of his room, she had a surprise, it was not Bucky or Sam.

**Sarah: Daddy!**

**J: Dad!**

James and Sarah ran to the bed, but they didn’t touch Steve for fear of hurting him again.

Natasha remained still at the door, trying to figure out who is that  visitor in Steve's room.

**S: Hey, guys! I missed you. How was school?**

**Sarah: Good.**

**J: Boring**

**S: Do you guys remember Elisa from the café near the school?**

Sarah and James looked at Elisa, who was smiling at them.

**E: Hello children! How beautiful you look today in those uniforms.**

Sarah and James didn’t say anything.

Steve frowned, surprised at their seriousness.

**S: James, Sarah, answer Elisa, c’mon.**

**James: Hi.**

**Sarah: Hi.**

Elisa glanced briefly at Natasha and her smile broke. She looked at Steve and smiled again.

**E: I need to go, I used my lunch time to come bring those cupcakes. I hope you enjoy.**

**S: I'm sure they're delicious and let me introduce you... Elisa this is Natasha. Natasha, this is Elisa.**

****


	32. Sarah and the longing

**Elisa: Hi. How are you?**

Natasha had a serious expression on her face, she nodded to Elisa's greeting.

**E: Well, I have to work now. See you soon, I hope. Get well.**

**S: Thank you, Elisa.**

Elisa left the room. Natasha still stood at the door and folded her arms, watching Elisa leave.

Steve kept talking to the kids and Natasha approached the package that Elisa had left, she opened and saw several cupcakes with the design of Steve's shield and instead of stars in the center, had white hearts.

Natasha frowned.

**N: Who is she?**

**S: Huh?**

**N: That girl who was here.**

**Sarah: It's the waitress.**

**S: Her name is Elisa, Sarah.**

Steve corrected Sarah and looked at Natasha.

**N: A waitress and she randomly decided to visit you?**

**S: Yeah... I didn’t even expect it, she was very kind to come here. She said she saw the news about the shot I took and brought these cupcakes. I usually go with like kids to have lunch at her diner.**

**Sarah: Can I eat?**

**S: Of course.**

**N: She's your friend, then?**

**S: I can’t say we're friends. I hardly know her.**

**N: You never talked about her before.**

**S: Because there was no reason to.**

**N: She came to visit you, Steve.**

**S: Yes... What's wrong with that?**

Natasha took a deep breath.

**N: Did you ask her to stay at home with you?**

Natasha asked with her eyebrow raised.

**S: No…**

Steve frowned.

**S: Why would I ask her that? I said I don’t even know her.**

**N: Well, you should.**

Steve looked at Natasha, completely confused. He is too slow to notice signs of jealousy and anger. Well, Natasha's anger he noticed, but he doesn’t understand why she is angry.

**N: She likes you.**

**J: I don’t like her**

**S: What? She doesn’t like me? No, no... And James, what do you mean you don’t like her? You don’t even know her right.**

**J: But I don’t like her.**

**Sarah: I like her. She's nice, she looks like a Barbie, and she always gives me lots of fries for me.**

Sarah said with her mouth full of cupcake.

**S: James, this is very bad thing to say.**

Natasha walked to the door.

**S: Are you leaving?**

**N: No.**

Steve stared at her, not understanding why she was so far from them. If by the phone yesterday she seemed to be closer to him, it must have been just a wrong impression.

**S: Alright, Sarah, share with your brother.**

Sarah grabbed the box of cupcakes.

**Sarah: Mine!**

Sarah frowned.

**S: It's not yours, it's Dad's and I'm telling you to share it.**

**Sarah: But you said...**

**S: That you could eat one, not everything.**

Sarah pouted and Steve took the box from her, he offered to James who was looking, trying to control himself to not eat, but it was very tempting, he took one and sat in the armchair to eat.

Sarah still had one in her hand, she took a big bite and even with her mouth full, she reached out her hand to get another one. Steve pushed the box away.

**S: Sarah. Enough, your mother didn’t eat.**

**N: Give it to her, I don’t want to.**

**S: Okay.**

Steve handed the box to Sarah and there were still 3 cupcakes left. Sarah took another and held two in her hand, biting one at a time.

**S: Sarah, slow down. What is it?**

**Sarah: It's very yummy.**

Steve couldn’t help but laugh at Sarah's smeared face. Health food she doesn’t like to eat, but junk food, she’s totally up to...

Dr. Cho appeared in the hallway and greeted Natasha. She entered Steve's room followed by the doctors who operated Steve.

Natasha stared at the watched them from the door.

**Cho: Good evening, Captain America, how are you feeling?**

**Sarah: Hiiii.**

Cho looked at Sarah and smiled.

**Cho: Hi. How are you?**

Sarah nodded and moved the bitten cupcake toward Cho and the doctors.

**Sarah: Do you want?**

**Cho: No, my love, thank you very much.**

The other doctors also declined and thanked Sarah.

Cho looked at Steve smiling.

**Cho: She's a sweetheart.**

**S: Thank you.**

**Cho: I have good news. You can leave the hospital today.**

**N: He was bleeding yesterday!**

**Cho: It was nothing serious, don’t worry. I've looked at all your exams, you only have to be careful, you can’t push yourself, no stairs, no standing with the children on your lap, only if you be seating and no sex too, I must say...**

Steve flushed slightly and Natasha folded her arms, half closing her eyes because when Cho talked about sex, she kind of turned around referring to Natasha.

**Cho: Look, buy those medicines. And take it as prescribed, if you feel too much pain you can double the dose of dipyrone.**

**N: Cho, are you sure about him going home?**

**Cho: Steve has a greater regenerating power than ours, bigger than yours even, because of the serum...**

**N: I understand. So we can go now?**

Cho nodded.

**Cho: The nurse will come to help you with the bath so you can leave. Okay?**

**S: Okay.**

**Cho: I have to go, I just came by quickly to check on you. See you around soon.**

**S: By and thanks.**

Cho and the doctors left the room and a nurse entered.

**\- Come on, Mr. Rogers.**

**S: I feel good to shower by myself.**

**\- If you want to stand and shower by yourself, no problem. But alone you can’t stay. There are movements that can be difficult to perform in the first few days.**

**S: All right.**

Steve got up and Sarah dropped the cupcakes on the floor, thinking Steve was leaving.

**Sarah: Daddy, Daddy!**

**S: I'm just going to take a shower, Sarah. I'll be right back.**

**Sarah: Daddy...**

Sarah started to cry because she didn’t want to stay away from Steve again, Natasha approached her and took her by the hand.

**N: Let's buy a soda. Come, James.**

James jumped out of the chair and followed Natasha out of the room. Sarah was still crying outside, even after she had the soda can in her hand.

**N: Sarah, Daddy is going home with us, stop crying.**

Sarah tried to answer, but she cried so much that the air was missing and she couldn’t speak.

**N: Shhh... Calm down. Breathe...**

Sarah looked at Natasha and tried to control herself, she sobbed but the tears ceased. James walked down the hall to the glass of the railing.

**J: Come and see, Sarah. Come here quickly!**

Sarah ran to James inquisitively, but still sobbing from her crying. Natasha approached the two and there was nothing too much to see. It was the view of the floors below where they were.

Sarah put her hand on the glass and the other one she held out to James. James hold her hand and knelt to stay on her high.

James started to blow on the glass, making it fuzzy and Sarah smiled.

**J: Go on and try.**

Sarah pressed her mouth to the glass and tried to do the same. Natasha looked at the two of them and gave a small smile. When James wants, he knows how to calm his sister like Steve does.

They came back in the room and Steve was already out of the shower and he was packing things in his bag. Sarah ran up to him and grabbed Steve's legs.

Steve stroked Sarah's hair and smiled.

Natasha realized that Steve was having difficulties to put his things into the bag and approached him.

**N: Let me do it.**

**S: It's okay.**

**N: No pushing yourself, remember?**

**S: That's not what I'm doing.**

**N: Don’t be stubborn.**

Natasha wrapped Steve's clothes and put them in the bag.

Sarah held out her arms to Steve.

**Sarah: Up, up, daddy.**

**N: Sarah no, your father can’t get you.**

**Sarah: Up, Daddy. Please.**

Steve looked at Sarah and he hates to say no to her, he wants to get her on his lap.

Natasha closed the bag and held Sarah by the hand for her to walk with her out of the room, but Sarah pulled her hand and hugged Steve's legs again, now crying again.

**Sarah: Up, Daddy, up.**

Steve looked at Sarah and sighed, he looked at Natasha and shook his head.

**S: I have to get her.**

**N: No, Steve! She has to understand that now she can’t have your lap. She is very spoiled.**

**S: She is just missing me.**

**N: James is missing you too and he is not crying over it.**

**S: But she's a baby.**

**N: Three years old, she’s no longer a baby, she can understand.**

Natasha looked serious at Sarah.

**N: Sarah you can come hand in hand with me or with your father. Or you can stay here in the hospital alone, no one will carry you around, you’re a big girl now.**

Sarah looked at Natasha and still held Steve's legs and pushed him back. Natasha left the room with James, Sarah felt that now she could touch Steve to the point of getting what she wanted, she started to sob and looked at Steve, who avoided looking at her to not feel sorry.

Sarah made a scandal that caught the attention of who was passing in front of the room.

Natasha heard the screams and returned to the room door.

**N: That is inadmissible! Steve, come on! Leave her in there!**

**S: Natasha...**

**N: Steve!**

Natasha never spoke so serious in her whole life. Steve sighed again and pulled Sarah away from his legs.

It seemed that Steve was cutting all the bonds between him and Sarah, he would never ignore her that way and it was painful to have to pretend he didn’t care.

Steve left the room and Natasha closed the door, leaving Sarah inside, which made Sarah even more desperate to be alone in the room.

**S: Natasha, don’t do that.**

**N: I know what I'm doing.**

Steve, Natasha and James could hear Sarah knocking on the door, crying wanting to leave. Not that it didn’t hurt Natasha, but Sarah had to understand that she can’t have everything she wants whenever she wants.

Natasha kept the door closed for only a few seconds, but for Sarah and Steve it seemed hours of confinement.

Natasha opened the door and Sarah was devastated, she looked at Steve, extremely hurt.

**N: Stop crying!**

****

Sarah tried to pull the air to speak, but she only began to cry louder again, Natasha threatened to close the door and she held the door to not be left alone.

**N: Stop it. Will you come hand in hand or will you stay there alone?**

Sarah did her best to stop crying and held out her hand to Natasha.

Steve thought she was going to want to go with him, but she certainly hates him now. At least that's what Steve thinks, he's full of guilt and remorse now.

When they got out of the elevator on the first floor, Sarah had stopped crying, but her nose was dripping and her eyes were still full of tears. The four of them got in the car and Natasha drove to the pharmacy closest to Steve's house. She took the prescription from Steve and got out of the car to buy the pills.

Steve looked briefly back and Sarah turned her head, staring out the window. Steve looked forward again, very upset.

Natasha came back a few minutes later and drove to Steve's apartment. The four of them boarded the elevator and Natasha reached for the keys in Steve's bag.

**S: It's here.**

Steve took the keys in his pocket and reached out to open the door, but he felt a pinch during the movement, he grimaced and Natasha looked at him worriedly.

**N: Steve? What is this? Let's go back to the hospital right now.**

**S: No, it was just a bad way to move, I can’t use the arm on the side I was shoot.**

Steve handed the keys to James who opened the door and held for them to come in.

As Sarah was the last to come in, James pretended to close the door with her outside, Sarah started to cry again and Natasha slapped lightly on James's head, who began to laugh.

**N: Come on, Sarah, get in.**

Steve sat on the couch and held out his arms to Sarah, who was suspicious if she should or not to go to him... But of course she went, she hugged Steve and sat on his lap.

**N: Okay, only when daddy is seating. Do we have a deal?**

Steve and Sarah nodded, Sarah laid her head on Steve's shoulder and he extended his other arm to James, who was just staring at them. James came over and Steve hugged him, kissing James on the forehead. Sarah tried to kick James.

**Sarah: Move!**

**J: No, you move!**

**Sarah: Na-ahh, you move!**

**S: Sarah, no. Don’t do that, James can be here too.**

**N: Is anyone hungry? I am hungry.**

**J: Ask for pizza, Mom.**

**N: Surely I will ask. But first you and Sarah need to take a shower.**

**J: I'll go first!**

James ran to the bathroom.

Steve looked at Sarah.

**S: Do you want to take a bottle first?**

Sarah nodded.

**S: Natasha?**

**N: The fucking bottle... I know, I know.**

Natasha already knows the right times Sarah asks to take a bottle, she warmed up the milk and put it on Sarah's bottle, then handed it to her, who became sleepy and actually slept soon after.

**N: I'll put her to bed.**

Natasha approached Steve and the moment she stepped down to get Sarah, she also felt her body complain, she had a brief expression of pain in her face and Steve could noticed.

**S: Are you okay?**

**N: Yeah, I just picked her in a bad way.**

Natasha took Sarah in her lap and then headed to the hall, she knocked on the bathroom door.

**N: Are you done in there, James?**

**J: Yeah.**

**N: So change your clothes in your room, Sarah needs to take a shower now.**

James left the bathroom, leaving his school uniform on the bathroom floor. He went to his room and changed his clothes, then he stayed with his father in the living room, watching TV.

Natasha woke Sarah up for her shower. It was a quick shower, Natasha wrapped her in the towel and carried her to her bedroom.

Natasha put Sara's pajamas on and laid her on the bed. Natasha covered her and kissed Sarah's forehead.

**N: I'm sorry I yelled at you today.**

Natasha whispered.

Sarah didn’t hear Natasha's apologies, she was much more sleepy. Sarah is very sweet and it is difficult to really fight with her, but if no one gives limits, what kind of adult would she be in the future?

Natasha heard the bell ring and was the delivery man.

Natasha received and paid for the pizza.

**J: PIZZA!**

**N: Should I wake Sarah up?**

Natasha asked as she set the pizza on the table.

**S: No, let her sleep, tomorrow she has class. James is going to eat and go to bed too.**

**J: But it's early.**

**S: It's not early.**

**J: But Mom lets us stay awake till we want.**

Steve looked at Natasha, who shrugged.

**N: I didn’t know they had curfew.**

**S: During the week, they sleep early because of the school.**

**N: You're the boss.**

Natasha took a knife and napkins in the kitchen, then she came back and cut the pizza. Natasha handed one slice to James and another to Steve.

Natasha sat on the floor to eat the pizza, and when she looked at Steve, he was laughing alone.

**N: What?**

**S: Nothing... Just  something I remembered.**

****

**N: About?**

**S: About us. Our pizza’s night.**

**N: Pizza’s nights?**

**S: Yeah, almost every weekend, we would come home and order some three or four pizzas.**

**J: Oh yeah, it was so nice! Can we do it again?**

**S: Who knows, James.**

**N: Well, I love pizza, I wouldn’t say no for that.**

Natasha smiled.

**S: The children used to ate so much that they just slept heavy soon after.**

**N: And what about us?**

**S: Well, we were soon turning into a night of pizza and wine after they slept.**

**N: Wine is not my favorite drink.**

**S: Vodka is. But we drank wine for being more romantic.**

**N: Oh, definitely.**

**S: I never got drunk. Alcoholic beverage has no effect on me.**

**N: No?**

**S: Not those from here. I got drunk only twice, with the drink that Thor brought from Asgard.**

**N: Wow, it must be horrible not being able to get drunk.**

**S: You can survive.**

Steve and Natasha smiled, looking at each other and then the subject was over and the smiles faded away.

James was being like, totally invisible, he didn’t dare to say a word his parents talked, he was just staring at them talking and he felt good with it.

James forced a yawn.

**J: I'm going to bed.**

Natasha and Steve finally remembered that James was present and their eyes were disconnected.

James hugged his father and then  kissed Natasha.

**S: Good night, buddy.**

James went to his bedroom and Natasha sighed, forcing a smile again. She just couldn’t look at Steve straight in the eye anymore.

**N: Well, they slept...**

**S: Yes.**

**N: So, do you have any wine?**

****

Natasha joked and Steve smiled.

**S: Can you give me one more slice please?**

**N: Of course.**

Natasha cut another slice of pizza and handed it to Steve, who put his hand underneath hers, and took a few seconds to get the pizza. Natasha looked into Steve's eyes and wanted to punch him for doing this to her.

Steve's flirtatious moments are rare, but very accurate, Natasha was completely out of herself with his touch on her hand, it was as if he was sliding his hand through her intimate part.

Natasha closed her eyes, and tried to push away the memories of Steve's touches, especially what he could do with his tongue. Natasha felt a shiver go through her body. She got up and closed the pizza.

**N: I'm going to leave your bed ready for you.**

**S: I'm going to sleep here, you get the bed.**

**N: Of course not, you just came from the hospital. I'll take the couch.**

**S: No. I'll stay here, I'm used to it.**

**N: You're too big for that couch, Steve.**

**S: It's no use insisting.**

Natasha took a deep breath and decided to change strategy.

**N: The bed is huge, it fits us perfectly.**

Steve said nothing, pretended not to understand what Natasha was suggesting.

**N: If you don’t mind.**

**S: I don’t.**

**N: Good.**

Natasha and Steve went to the bedroom, James who was not sleeping at all, was behind of his bedroom door, peeing at the and he closed the door in time before Natasha and Steve passed by his room.

James started jumping up in bed to celebrate that his parents were going to sleep in the same room.

Natasha straightened the bed and looked at Steve.

**N: Do you need help to change your clothes?**

**S: No, I can do it alone.**

**N: Okay, so I'm going to take a shower and I have not been at my home yet, so can I wear one of your shirts?**

**S: Sure.**

Natasha took a shirt on the closet, then went into the bathroom.

Steve suffered a little to change his clothes, he decided to not put on any shirt to not make sudden movements and also because he hates sleeping with shirts on.

Steve switched off the light from the bedroom and lay down on the bed, covering half of his waist.

Natasha finished the shower a few minutes later. She opened the door and the only light was from inside the bathroom, but Steve could still see her, perfectly. He loves when she wears his clothes, she gets extremely sexy, Steve was trying to fend off any sinful thoughts, but it gets very difficult when she is dressed like that, with her hair wet, her face pure and unmasked, just perfect, in the way he likes.

**N: James left a mess in the bathroom, I'll have to clean up.**

**S: Leave it for tomorrow.**

**N: I would, but it's his school uniform, he has one for tomorrow, but I need to get those to wash today. I'll be right back.**

Steve nodded.

Natasha went to the bathroom and picked up James's clothes, just as she took Sarah's in her bedroom. Natasha put everything in the washing machine, she returned in Steve’s room and went back to the bathroom, to dry her hair. Steve doesn’t tire of looking at the movement of her legs when she walks.

Natasha switched on Steve's dryer and dried her hair as best she could. She hung up the bath towel and returned to the bedroom, turning off the bathroom light before.

Natasha lay down next to Steve.

**S: You're making it all harder.**

Natasha looked at him blankly.

**N: What do you mean?**

**S: Nothing...**

Natasha shook her head and lay on her side, her back to Steve. His eyes roamed the waves of Natasha's hair, then down to her neck, arms, waist... legs, and feet... Steve could barely breathe, all his concentration was on Natasha's body.

**N: I'm feeling hot. I can’t sleep like this.**

**S: It's cold, Natasha.**

**N: Not for me. Do you mind if I change the temperature?**

**S: No.**

Natasha took the control and increased the air conditioner. She lay down again and closed her eyes, but Steve was still looking at her. Natasha knows, so she can’t sleep.

**N: Do you want to tell me something?**

**S: Huh?**

**N: You're looking at me... All this time.**

**S: I'm sorry.**

**N: It’s alright but you need to rest.**

**S: Okay. Good night.**

**N: Night.**

Steve was still lying belly up, he looked once more at Natasha and then he looked at the ceiling of the room. Steve closed his eyes without realizing it.

They both fell asleep.

Natasha always moves during the night, she ended up laying sideways again, but facing Steve, she extended her arm a little and could feel Steve's arm.

A few hours later, Natasha had her arm across Steve's body and her face against his shoulder. Steve instinctively lifted his arm a little bit, Natasha moved closer to Steve's body and he hugged her back.

Natasha was totally sleepy, she just forgot Steve's bruise and laid half of her body over his, and the pressure of her body on the wound made Steve wake up abruptly, with the pain.

Natasha also woke up startled, she sat up in bed, looking at Steve.

**N: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I’m so sorry!**

**S: Calm down, it's okay. It’s okay.**

Natasha was really frightened of the possibility of hurting Steve. Steve sat on the bed.

Natasha knelt on the bed and tucked her hair behind her ear, she put her hand on Steve's shoulder.

**N: I’m sorry, I hurt you.**

**S: No... I’m fine. It's okay.**

**N: No, it’s not.**

**S: Yeah, it was just a fright.**

Natasha's lips trembled and Steve laid a hand on her face to calm her down.

**S: Natasha is all right.**

Natasha looked into his eyes and nodded, sitting on the bed again.

**N: Do you want to take the medicine for pain?**

**S: No... No need, the pain is over.** **I’m really fine.**

Natasha sighed and Steve could feel the tension she was, he slid his hand down to Natasha's neck and he saw a small bruise on the back of her neck.

**S: What is this?**

**N: From the mission yet.**

Natasha put her hand over Steve's hand and removed from her, but Steve didn’t give up, he put his hands on her neck again.

**S: Let me see.**

**N: It's nothing, Steve.**

**S: It's very purple.**

**N: It doesn’t hurt.**

**S: Are you sure?**

**N: Yeah…**

**S: Okay...**

Steve was going to remove his hand from her neck, but he ended up looking into her eyes and he knew that he couldn’t stop approaching his face to hers, at least not now...


	33. If I hurt you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I took so long for posting it.

Despite the darkness in Steve's room, Natasha could still see the blue of his eyes, they are always shining.

Natasha closed her eyes and she could feel her face getting warmer by the proximity of Steve's face.

Natasha opened her eyes and lips as she felt Steve's breath hit beneath her nose, she turned her face away and Steve ended placing his lips against Natasha's cheek.

Natasha put her hand over Steve's hand and whispered.

**N: Steve, we can’t.**

Steve sighed in frustration. He didn’t even remove his lips from Natasha's cheek. He kissed her cheek again and placed another longer kiss near Natasha's ear, which made her bit lip hard.

**S: I know, but...**

Steve kissed Natasha's ear as she bent her neck, feeling a little shiver. She turned her head away again and looked into his eyes.

**N: You're recovering.**

Steve nodded.

**S: But If I wasn’t, what would happen here, right now?**

**N: I don’t know.**

**S: Yes, you know. Would you reject me?**

Natasha looked away and shook her head.

**N: We should just sleep. Please, Steve.**

**S: I just... I need a kiss… I need you.**

**N: Steve...**

**Natasha sighed.**

**S: Just...**

Steve insisted that he needed this kiss, he grabbed the back of Natasha’s neck and hold it tightly, Natasha closed her eyes and sighed, but the grip on the back of her neck is a way to completely overwhelm her, she can’t resist and Steve knows that very well.

Steve brought his face close to Natasha's, who kept her eyes closed. Steve watched her for a few seconds, then he kissed Natasha's eye, then gave her another kiss on her cheekbone, then he kissed the corner of her mouth.

Natasha tried to push Steve's mouth away, pressing her forehead against his and moving her lips in the other direction, which was a terrible choice, because now Steve could see the length of her neck, and he took the chance, to nibble her chin and neck.

Fatal blow. Nibbling, sniffing and kissing her neck, always leaves Natasha ready for anything. Her breath was already out of control, because she was struggling mentally to remain still.

 _He needs to rest, he took a shot close to the heart, he can’t do it. We can’t do it. Not at all._ Natasha thought.

Natasha was neither excited nor thinking of having sex with Steve when she decided to stay in the apartment to take care of him, but this Steve's endless desire for her body makes her feel extremely horny and sexy.

Natasha already likes to dominate men, to turn their lives upside down, Steve just made more difficult for her to deny sex to him because she knows he will not get tired easily, he can handle her for hours straight. Actually she is the one who can’t handle him.

 _Not today, Natasha_. Natasha was still trying to convince herself mentally.

Natasha sighed once more as she felt her body shiver as she felt Steve's teeth nibbling at her neck.

**N: We know we will not stop at the kiss. We can’t, Steve.**

Natasha whispered that, but her body said otherwise because her neck was so much more exposed to Steve that he couldn’t detach his mouth and nose from her skin.

**S: I can handle it.**

**N: No, you can’t. It's not safe!**

**S: What if I don’t push myself?**

**N: How could you not push yourself?**

Steve finally removed his mouth from Natasha's neck, they looked into each other's eyes, both with red lips and burning eyes.

Steve lay back on the bed, belly up. Natasha watched Steve put his hand inside his shorts and massage his already stiff, cock.

Natasha looked at Steve's face and laughed.

**N: Are you asking me to ride you?**

**S: I know you like it.**

Natasha raised her eyebrow and smirked somewhat surprised by Steve's naughty insinuations.

**N: What did they give you at the hospital that left you like this?**

**S: Natasha...**

Natasha sighed deeply.

**N: Damn, Steve. I'll regret it.**

Natasha got to her knees on the bed and removed her panties, she looked at Steve and she was still undecided.

**N: If I hurt you...**

**S: You won’t. Trust me.**

Natasha shook her head lightly just to move her hair back and then she rested her hands on the bed, one on each side of Steve's body, moving to be on top of him.

Steve was already panting and Natasha didn’t even begin to do anything.

**N: I will not touch you and you will not try to get up, otherwise I will stop everything. Understood?**

Steve nodded, he couldn’t speak at the moment. Natasha was still afraid of hurting Steve, she lowered Steve's shorts enough to expose his cock.

Steve gripped Natasha's thigh and she gently held Steve's cock as she looked into Steve's eyes to watch his reaction.

Natasha loves that Steve always turns red when he's horny, the veins in his arms and neck get so thick that they look like they're going to pierce his skin. Sometimes it feels like he's really bad, like about to have a heart attack or something but he always goes on, wanting more and more of her. It’s very difficult to resist.

Natasha massaged Steve's cock with both hands, until his cock get completely rigid, she slid her body down on bed, until her face be near to Steve's waist.

Natasha didn’t stop looking into Steve's eyes in anytime, she lowered her head slowly resting her lips on the head of Steve's cock.

Natasha could feel Steve's body trembling, which made her smirk.

Natasha let Steve's cock slide inside her mouth, and Steve threw his head back, trying to breathe, but the air was getting missing every time more.

Steve closed his hands tight and gritted his teeth as he groaned as he felt Natasha's mouth slide up and down on his cock.

**S: Oh, Natasha!!!**

Natasha smiled through her eyes, she loved Steve's reactions and she knew how crazy that would drive him.

Steve propped his elbows on the bed and forced himself to lift his upper body, he felt a huge pain in the stitches, but he didn’t even care about it anymore. Lucky for him that Natasha was watching him and she immediately stopped and poked his shoulder to make him lie down again.

**N: If you try anything, I'll stop. I mean it!**

**S: It's difficult. You're very good at it.**

**N: I know that.**

Natasha smirked and Steve was angry now, not because of Natasha's false modesty, but because she must have done it in other men to do so well, even if it was before him, he still feels jealous.

But Steve didn’t have much time to think about it, Natasha put her lips back on his cock.

He could not wait any longer, not after that scene.

Steve held Natasha's hair tightly and made her move faster, which made Natasha even more pleased by it, she loves it when Steve pull her hair.

Steve pulled her hair harder, making her body move to come on top of him.

Steve needed have her body as quickly as possible and Natasha understood what he wanted.

Natasha pulled Steve's arms out of her body and made him lie on bed again, she got on all four and then she spread her legs a little bit and sat directly on Steve's cock. Natasha groaned as she felt Steve inside her, so as did Steve, who ran his hands over Natasha's thighs.

Steve was dying of pain and at the same time of pleasure, and he had to do his best in the performance so as not to let Natasha realize that.

Steve sat back down on the bed and Natasha hugged his neck as she moved slowly up and down on Steve's lap.

Steve stroked Natasha's back, wanting to feel every inch of her skin in the palm of his hand. Then he slid his hands to Natasha's belly and then to her breasts, Steve squeezed each of Natasha's breasts tightly, making Natasha moan.

Steve hugged Natasha's waist again, and turned on the bed with her, standing over her. The only problem is that this movement was fatal to Steve's stitches, there was no way to disguise this pain, he couldn’t even move.

Natasha looked at Steve's face and frowned.

**N: Steve?**

Steve couldn’t speak. Natasha moved away from Steve’s body and sat beside him.

**N: Steve! Lie down. I said we shouldn’t! Dammit!**

Steve lay down on the bed again. Natasha stared the stitches area and they were not bleeding.

**N: The stitches didn’t open, but we'd better go to the hospital.**

**S: No...**

**N: Steve.**

**S: I'm fine, it was just a bad way to move.**

**N: Damn! I’m so stupid! I’m so sorry for that. I shouldn’t...**

**S: Don’t apologize, Natasha, I insisted.**

**N: But I should have said no.**

**S: Get that painkiller that Cho prescribed, please.**

Natasha got up and she went to the living room to pick the medicine, then she came back with a glass of water.

Steve took two pills and drank the water, he that Natasha’s face was showing remorse and concern.

**S: Thank you.**

**N: Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?**

**S: Yes. I’m fine, we can go back to do it again.**

Natasha looked at Steve in shock.

Steve smiled.

**S: I'm just joking.**

Natasha made negative with her head.

**N: You’re a fucking idiot.**

Natasha took Steve's glass and put it on the table. She turned off the light and went back to bed.

Natasha lay on her side and watched Steve.

**N: Is that better?**

**S: Yes. Don’t worry.**

**N: I'm not.**

**S: Liar.**

Steve joked.

Steve yawned and in a few minutes fell asleep, but Natasha couldn’t sleep for hours, she was checking whether the stitches were going to open or if he was going to feel sick. Natasha just went to sleep very late in the morning.

...

In the morning, Natasha woke up with the alarm clock called Sarah. Steve also woke up, but Natasha already ran to her room.

**N: Sarah?**

**Sarah: I want Daddy.**

**N: Sarah, you scared me. Why are you crying?**

Sarah yawned and scratched her eye. Steve appeared at the door.

**S: Good morning, princess.**

Sarah held out her arms asking for Steve’s lap. Natasha looked at her.

**N: You know you can’t have a lap from dad now.**

Sarah began to grumble ready to give her usual scandal, but she stopped to see the way Natasha was looking at her with disapproval.

**N: C’mon let’s take a shower and go to school.**

Steve left Sarah's bedroom and knocked on James's door.

**S: James, it's time for school.**

**J: Ahhh, just five more minutes.**

**S: James…**

**J: Pleaseeee.**

**S: Only while your sister is taking a shower.**

Steve walked into the living room and headed for the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Natasha crossed the hallway, holding Sarah by the hand and leading her into the bathroom.

Natasha saw Steve in the kitchen.

**N: What the fuck you think you're doing???**

**S: Breakfast. They need to eat and watch your language.**

**N: Steve, I'll do it.**

**S: They're late.**

**N: I can do it. You can sit you ass down on that couch.**

**S: I...**

Natasha gave the same look she gave to Sarah a few minutes ago and Steve understood that he shouldn’t argue.

**S: Alright.**

Natasha put Sarah to take a shower and went into the living room.

**N: Did James wake up?**

**S: James?**

**_J: I’m up._ **

James screamed from his room.

**S: Yes, he is awake now.**

Natasha began to prepare a super fast breakfast, she put cereals and milk in two bowls and placed the spoons. She put Sarah's bottle to warm up, then she ran down the hall and knocked on James's door. Then he knocked on the bathroom door.

**N: Come on, Sarah.**

Natasha came back into the kitchen and the bottle was already warm. Steve watched Natasha in action and in a record time. Exactly like before the accident. He smiled and shook his head.

The smile soon faded away when Steve remembered that Natasha was doing all of that without any notion that she used to be like this before.

James left the room, yawning and scratching his butt.

Sarah came out all wet from the bathroom and went to her bedroom.

**Sarah: Mommy, my dress.**

**N: I'm coming! James... please, take a bath now.**

James went to bathe while Natasha helped Sarah to put on her uniform, Natasha returned to the kitchen.

Sarah picked up her socks and shoes and came into the living room.

**Sarah: Daddy.**

Sarah gave her shoes for Steve.

**N: Sarah, he can’t.**

**S: It’s all right, Nat. I can do it.**

Steve looked at Sarah and smiled, he tapped the coffee table.

**S: Sit down.**

Sarah sat on the coffee table and stretched her feet. Steve tickled Sarah's foot and she began to laugh. Steve put the socks and the shoes on Sarah.

**S: Now you're going to eat.**

Sarah went to the kitchen and asked for Natasha's lap. Natasha picked her up and handed her the bottle.

**S: JAMES! Let's go!**

**J: I'm going!**

After giving breakfast to James and Steve, Natasha took the car keys and went out with them to school. Steve had to go along because the kids insisted he take them to school. Natasha left James at his entrance and then drove a few yards to the entrance to Sarah's nursery.

**N: Come on.**

**Sarah: Daddy, take me there.**

**N: Sarah...**

**S: Alright, I can walk, no problem.**

**N: But she goes walking, no lap.**

Natasha said with a pointed finger. Sarah nodded.

Steve got out of the car and Sarah took his hand. Natasha walked beside them on the school lawn, Sarah reached out to Natasha to hold her hand and Natasha looked at Sarah's hand and was reluctant, but she ended up holding her hand too and Sarah was so happy to arrive at the nursery with her parents, that she started to jump instead of walking.

**Sarah: Can I hang?**

**S: Yes, you can.**

Sarah held tightly in the hands of her parents and lifted her feet in the air to be carried, then she walked normally and then started to do it again.

It was a stupid thing, Natasha thought. _Why is she so happy about it?_

Steve and Natasha arrived at the front door of the nursery and waited for the signal for the kids to enter. Not even standing still, Sarah wanted to let go of her parents' hands.

**\- Steve?**

Natasha and Steve turned to see who was talking to them.

Steve smiled and Natasha frowned.

**\- How were the cupcakes?**

**S: Very delicious, Elisa. Although, who really ate were my children.**

**Sarah: Is there more?**

**E: Do you want more?**

**Sarah: Yes, I do want more, but only for me, with hearts and stars.. Oh and with bears!!!**

**E: Well, I don’t have here with me now, but I promise to do more for you. Okay?**

****

Elisa said smiling at Sarah who smiled back.

Elisa looked at Natasha, but the way Natasha looked at her made her feel embarrassed and Steve complete naïve was smiling as if were normal for Elisa to show up at the door of Sarah’s nursery.


	34. Memories

**E: How is your recovery?**

**S: A little slow in my opinion.**

**E: Oh, you don’t even look like you got shot, you look great. Very great. I have course in nursing and massage. If you need help getting medication, or need a session, you can talk to me. I will not charge anything.**

**S: Oh no way, I make a point of paying.**

Natasha cleared her throat.

**S: Nice to know that, Elisa. Right, Nat?**

Steve looked at Natasha, smiling. Natasha just nodded, with the same serious expression.

**N: Do you have children, Elisa?**

**E: No, no. I don’t.**

**N: So, why are you walking by here?**

Elisa smiled.

**E: Oh… It's just because I work in that cafeteria next to here and I saw Sarah and I decided to say hello.**

Elisa pointed across the street and Natasha looked where she was pointing.

**S: You need to try the chicken sandwich Elisa does.**

**E: Ah, stop it, Steve. I don’t even prepared for other costumers, I did for you… and Sarah, of course.**

Natasha rolled her eyes and sighed.

**N: I bet it's delicious.**

The nursery bell rang. Elisa said goodbye and went to work. The kids went to the entrance queue, but Sarah hugged Steve's leg.

**S: Sarah? What's it?**

**Sarah: I don’t want to go.**

**S: What do you mean? You love school.**

**Sarah: I don’t want to go, I want to be with you.**

Sarah's teacher approached after realizing she didn’t want to come in.

**\- Hi Sarah. Lets go in?**

Sarah buried her face in Steve's leg.

**Sarah: No!**

**S: Sarah.**

Steve pulled her away to look at her.

**S: Why don’t you want to stay?**

**Sarah: I don’t want you to leave.**

**N: Sarah, your father will be here when you leave.**

**Sarah: He disappears and so do you.**

Natasha crouched and looked at her.

**N: What do you mean?**

**Sarah: Daddy says he's coming back, but he doesn’t, it’s always Cindy.**

**S: Sarah, you know it's only when Daddy has work, but I always come back home.**

Sarah shook her head. Natasha held her hands.

**N: I promise you that when you leave today, me and your father will be here...**

Natasha looked into Sarah’s eyes.

**N: Do you trust me?**

Sarah nodded.

**N: All right, now… You're a lady and you go with the teacher. No crying…**

Sarah held the teacher's hand and entered the school, but she kept looking back to see if Steve and Natasha were really waiting for her until the time of leaving.

Steve and Natasha stayed until the doors got closed and then they walked back to the car.

Steve was silent for much of the trip. When they stopped at the traffic light, Natasha looked at Steve.

**N: What's bothering you?**

**S: Nothing.**

**N: Oh, c’mon… All thi silence, your forehead is frowned…**

**S: I’m just thinking about what Sarah said.**

**N: She'll be fine.**

**S: Yes, she will... But she's right.**

Steve looked at Natasha.

**S: I never have time to warn them that I'm going on a mission, we just go and suddenly they have to stay in the house of strangers, until we can return.**

**N: We have a job.**

**S: I know. It's part of work, of my life and yours, but it shouldn’t be of our children’s life. Every time I went on a mission, half of me remained here, worried about them. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I didn’t come back from a mission.**

**N: Steve...**

**S: Hypothetically speaking. It's not hard to happen, we both put ourselves at risk all the time.**

**N: In order to protect the lives of thousands, including our children.**

**S: Yes. But...**

Steve sighed and looked out the window as Natasha continued driving.

**N: I know what you mean. Are you thinking about retiring?**

Steve shook his head.

**S: I don’t know.**

**N: I can sense that you feel guilty every time you leave the kids and you also feel guilty about leaving the team. From what I knew, you owe nothing to this world, Steve Rogers. The world is who owes you.**

**S: It would be selfish.**

**N: Steve? Look at me.**

Steve was clearly tormented by these doubts. He looked at Natasha, who had just parked the car in front of her building.

**N: If there's one thing I'm sure you're not. It's selfish. You're just being a good dad. I understand and I support whatever you decide about the job, do what is best for you and the kids.**

Steve and Natasha continued to look at each other for a few seconds. Natasha laid her hand on Steve's shoulder and smiled a little, empathizing with what he was feeling.

Natasha got out of the car.

**N: Wait here, I need to get some clothes.**

Steve nodded and a few minutes later, Natasha returned with a backpack.

Natasha drove to Steve's building. They were both silent for the rest of the trip.

Upon arriving at the apartment, Steve opened the door, and came in after Natasha.

**S: I need to take a shower.**

Natasha looked awkwardly at Steve.

**N: Are you going to need me for... the shower?**

**S: Oh no, it's okay.**

Natasha felt a certain relief, it would be very weird to give a bathe in Steve. Weird and dangerous. She does not want to send him to the hospital again.

Steve went to take a shower in his bathroom, inside his room, while that Natasha noticed that the living room was a mess, with toys scattered around and she decided clean it up and put things back on place.

After that, Natasha searched for the control of the TV and spotted it on the shelf. As Natasha stepped closer to get the control, she noticed the books on the shelf and looked at the titles to see Steve's reading style.

Steve came back to the living room and leaned against the edge of the wall and crossed his arms, watching Natasha, who sensed Steve's presence.

**N: You're an Agatha Christie fan. I like her books.**

**S: Me? No. These are your books.**

Natasha turned her head and looked at Steve over her shoulder, then she looked at the books again.

**S: I'm sorry, I forgot to let you know about them. You can take them with you when you leave.**

**N: It’s alright.**

Natasha ran her fingers through the books, trying to remember which books she had read and touching one of them, in particular, she had a sudden illness, her sight darkened, and she almost fainted.

Steve ran toward her, and held her.

**S: Natasha?**

Steve led her to the couch, Natasha looked stoned. Steve made her lie down and he ran to pick ice water and a compress.

He leaned the cold compress against Natasha's forehead.

Natasha slowly blinked a few times and looked at Steve.

**S: Are you okay?**

**N: You gave me that book.**

Steve looked at the bookshelf and looked at the books.

**N: The Mirror Crack'd from Side to Side... You gave me that book.**

Steve frowned and looked at Natasha confused. He gave one of those books to Natasha, but since he's not a fan, he does not remember the title. But anyway, how does she know that? Is she asking or remembering about it?

**N: You gave it to me. I saw. I remember you handing me a gift. It was my birthday…**

**S: Yes... Do you remember that?**

**N: Not much, that's all I remember, but I’m confuse because it wasn’t really my birthday. I don’t know…**

**S: Well, that’s because no one knew what day was your birthday. And we made bets to find out the date, you never revealed, never let us make parties for you.**

**N: I hate birthdays, it's unnecessary.**

Steve smiled and sat down on the edged of the seat of the couch.

**S: That's exactly what you told me back then. We were not together as a couple yet, but I was already in love with you, and I remember that I wanted to know your birthday, because I knew you were a fan of Agatha Christie.**

Natasha frowned.

**N: I didn’t tell anyone about it. I’m pretty sure of that.**

**S: I know.**

**N: Did you spy on me?**

**S: Not exactly...**

... Memories of Steve Rogers ...

**Clint: She'll be fine.**

Clint said as he opened the door to Natasha's room. Steve entered the room with her in his arms and laid her on the bed.

Natasha was anesthetized after being injured on a mission. Steve refused to leave the room. Clint put his hand on Steve's shoulder and warned that it was useless be there, because she was already medicated, they could only wait.

Clint left the room.

Steve watched over Natasha's sleep all night to make sure she was okay. Steve sat in the armchair and began to look around her room. There was nothing decorative, nothing to say that was her home.

 _How cold can she be?_ Steve thought.

Steve noticed only a few books on the shelf. All the books were from Agatha Christie.

Steve looked at Natasha's and smiled as he realized that he had found something that Natasha likes.

... Current times ...

**N: What a stalker, Steve Rogers. Should I be worried now?.**

Steve laughed.

**S: I didn’t mean to be invasive.**

**N: I know, I'm just teasing you. Tell me about the next day you discovered my taste for books... Was that, the same day that you gave me?**

**S: No, no. I bought the book after you recovered, the next day, but I** **didn’t know how to give you the book, without raising suspicions of you or our friends.**

**N: You're getting red.**

**S: Yes. I can’t avoid.**

**N: I think that's lovely.**

Natasha smiled and Steve looked away, extremely embarrassed.

**S: I kept the book for one year.**

**N: One year?? Oh my God, how hard can it be to give me a book?**

**S: Yes. I thought I would never give it to you...**

... Memories of Steve Rogers ...

**S: Natasha, can I talk to you?**

**N: Of course. What's it?**

Steve waited a few seconds to answer, he took a deep breath and just showed a present he was hiding behind his body. He held out to Natasha.

**S: I just wanted to give you that.**

Natasha frowned, looking at the present.

**N: For me? What is it?**

Natasha opened the present.

**S: Happy birthday.**

Natasha looked at Steve and made negative with her head.

**N: It's not my birthday.**

**S: Yes, it is.**

Natasha looked at him confused.

**S: You never told me. I asked Tony to investigate, and neither he nor Clint knew how to tell me what day it was your birthday. So… I decided that your birthday is today.**

Natasha was surprised, she looked at the present again and saw that it was a book Agatha Christie.

Natasha frowned and didn’t show if she was happy or if she hated the present and that was killing Steve inside.

Natasha seemed to be looking at the present too much. Natasha walked a little and Steve watched her.

**N: Come with me.**

Steve followed Natasha through the halls of the Avengers Base.

Natasha stopped in a place that Steve didn’t use to go often, and she pressed a button on the bracelet device she wore and a secret passage on the floor opened. Natasha came down and Steve looked at her in surprise.

**N: Come on.**

Steve seemed uncertain whether to enter that place or not. If she kills him in this hiding place, no one will ever find his body.

Steve came down with fear. Natasha pressed the button again and the passage closed.

**S: It's too dark here. I can’t see anything.**

It really was completely dark. Natasha didn’t say another word, nor did she seem to be there anymore, Steve began to suspect that she was gone and left him there alone.

**S: Natasha? Natasha?**

**N: Sh...** **Hush… Did you think I'd leave you here alone?**

**S: It's just... I can’t see anything.**

Steve could hear Natasha's footsteps in his direction and for some reason his heart was beating very fast, it seemed that his death was imminent.

Natasha has such a strange and mysterious way to act, you never know what she's up to.

And Steve was surprise when Natasha stood in front of him and took his hand.

Natasha led Steve's hand up to her face. Steve couldn’t see anything yet, but to feel her skin, it was extremely comforting,

**N: You can’t see, but… Can you feel it?**

Steve didn’t answer, he couldn’t reason at the moment. He thought it was some kind of trick, that the lights would turn on and all the Avengers would be there laughing at the silly role he played.

Natasha left her hand over Steve's hand on her face and she used her other hand to pick up Steve's other hand and place on her waist. Natasha could feel that Steve was nervous, by the way his hands were shaking and the way he was breathing.

Natasha stood on tiptoe and lifted her face further toward Steve's face. She put her hand on his neck and made him tilt his head toward her.

**N: How long have you wanted this?**

**S: What?**

****

Natasha touched her lips to Steve's, as soon as their mouths got a good fit, Natasha let her tongue slip into Steve's mouth, who seemed a little desperate to feel her tongue.

Steve didn’t know what to do with a woman’s body, especially with someone as intimidating as Natasha is.

Natasha ended up smiling during the kiss, it was funny the way Steve just declared himself with a kiss.

Steve grabbed the back of Natasha's neck and then her waist. He pressed her tightly against his body, which made Natasha put her hand on Steve's chest to try to push him a little but without any success. She couldn’t breathe, he was being too intense on sucking her tongue.

Steve then was no longer acting like a gentleman. He slid his hands down to Natasha's back. He gripped the collar of Natasha's leather uniform and simply tore it all up in front.

Steve moved his lips away from Natasha's, so he could see her body.

Natasha was surprised and at the same time she was feeling horny about Steve's reaction.

Steve lowered the sleeves of her uniform, but for being very tight, Steve was having difficulty on removing it, so he ripped her uniform again.

Natasha threw back her head to straighten her hair, then she smile and put her hands on Steve's chest.

**N: Easy, Rogers.**

Steve was breathing heavily as if he had run a marathon. Natasha stepped away from Steve and turned on the lights of that place.

Now Steve could see Natasha. He wanted to run up to her and finish tearing her clothes off, but he's still a gentleman.

Natasha walked back to Steve, she grabbed a chair and put it behind Steve. She walked in front of him and put her hands on Steve's shoulders and pulled him down, making him sit on the chair.

Steve didn’t take his eyes off Natasha's breasts.

Natasha gave one step back, just to finish removing her uniform. Natasha approached Steve's chair and made him tilt his head back. Natasha made Steve keep his legs close and she stood next do him, with his legs between hers.

Natasha looked at Steve and he automatically began to spread kisses all over Natasha's belly. Natasha sat on Steve's legs and let Steve run his tongue over her nipples. Natasha let out a sigh as she felt Steve’s greedy tongue touching her breast.

Natasha placed her hand at the back of Steve's neck and then laid her hands on his face, moving his face up so she could kiss him again.

Natasha opened the belt and the button of Steve's pants. She lowered the zipper of his pants, without removing her lips from his mouth.

Natasha glanced at Steve's cock quickly, he was already more than ready for her, and he was not wearing underwear.

Natasha stood up a little and sat on Steve's cock. Steve seemed to have stepped into another dimension when he felt his cock dipped in Natasha. He didn’t even do anything, he stood still as Natasha started to move her body up and down on his cock.

Natasha slid her lips to Steve's ear and she bit the tip of his ear, then she let out some groans in his ear. Steve couldn’t stand it for long, it was too much pressure, too much pleasure, he came in half an hour later.

Steve was immediately embarrassed by this and by the fact that he didn’t take off before he came.

Natasha was smiling and having fun with Steve losing control.

Natasha gave a peck on Steve’s lips and then she leaned her forehead against his, while he was trying to recover.

**S: I'm… I’m sorry.**

**N: For what?**

**S: It was very fast. I didn’t mean it.**

Natasha shook her head.

**N: It was perfect.**

**S: It was not... I don’t think you... You... Did you… You know… Did you  come?**

**N: Hm... No, I did not.**

Steve looked away, frustrated. Natasha inclined her head and made him look at her again. Natasha was smiling and stroking his face.

**N: But don’t worry, you're still going to make me cum lots of times. You just need to practice, and I'm a good teacher.**

Steve went completely red again.

**S: Does that mean we'll do it again?**

**N: Why not?**

Natasha shrugged and got up. She dress her uniform again. Well part of the uniform that lasted.

**N: Give me your shirt.**

Steve looked at her blankly.

**N: I can’t leave here with my boobs out.**

**S: Oh, yes, I’m sorry.**

**N: Stop apologizing.**

Steve took off his shirt and handed it to Natasha who dressed with it and looked at Steve again.

**N: You didn’t answer me.**

**S: What?**

**N: How long have you wanted this?**

**S: Hm... Long time.**

**N: Why didn’t you say anything then?**

**S: I don’t know, I was afraid that you would laugh at me if I declared myself.**

Natasha shook her head, she approached Steve and gave him another peck on the lips.

Natasha looked into Steve’s eyes.

**N: Are you in love with me?**

Steve nodded and Natasha smiled.

**N: Good.**

****

Natasha activated the secret passage again and left.

Steve didn’t understand if Natasha's reaction was good or bad.

Steve left the secret passageway and Natasha closed the passage. Sam appeared in the hallway and looked at Steve without a shirt and Natasha in Steve's shirt, he frowned and looked at Steve, then at Natasha, then at Steve again and then at Natasha.

Sam started to laugh and shook his head.

**Sam: It was about time!!!**

****

**N: I agree.**

Clint appeared in the hallway too and looked at Steve, Sam, and Natasha.

**C: Hey... Steve lost his virginity?**

**S: I was not a virgin.**

**N: Yes, you were.**

Steve looked at Natasha in shock. Natasha raised an eyebrow and shrugged. She walked and disappeared into the hall.

Sam hugged and shoved Steve.

**Sam: My man!!! That's right. Tell everything to your friend here.**

**S: Sam... There's nothing to tell.**

**Sam: Of course there, Clint and I want to know everything.**

**C: Ewww not me... I don’t. I don’t want to know. Natasha is like my sister, and I don’t want to have to punch your face, Steve.**

Steve looked at Clint in surprise.

Sam pushed Steve, making him walk with him and forced Steve to tell him everything and Sam gave Steve some tips, which made him very uncomfortable with that conversation.

Steve said good-bye to Sam and went to his bedroom.

Steve opened the door and as he entered, he saw the light from the bathroom and the sound of shower water.

Steve closed the door of the room and took his shield from the table, he approached the bathroom door and entered abruptly.

Natasha closed the tap and frowned. She stepped out of the shower area and wrapped herself in Steve’s towel.

**S: I didn’t know it was you.**

**N: You took too long, if it was an enemy, you would be dead by now.**

**S: I'm glad it's not.**

Natasha walked by Steve and went back to the room, she let the towel fall and she turned to look at Steve, she was completely naked.

**N: I said that you need to practice.**

Steve looked at her in confusion.

**S: But we just... Are we going to do that again? Like now?**

Natasha laid on bed and raised her eyebrow.

**N: Only if you interested…**

Steve dropped the shield immediately and ran to the bed.

...Current time...

**N: Wow!**

**S: Yeah... It was pretty intense.**

**N: Well, I can say that I have a master's degree. I taught you very well.**

**S: You’re always so convinced...**

**N: Prove that I'm wrong...**

Steve smiled and shook his head.

Natasha lay down on the couch and looked at Steve. She broke the smile and slowly brought her face closer to Steve's.

Natasha placed her lips against Steve’s lips very gently, giving him a short kiss. Steve closed his eyes and opened again, as Natasha moved her lips away. The two remained staring into each other's eyes and they didn’t notice that their faces began to move toward each other again.


	35. The Scarlet Witch

Do you know those moments in a movie that are so sublime, that everything that happens around two people that are in love turns completely obsolete? Even if you ask their name, they wouldn’t know how to answer that. In fact, they won’t even be listening. You can have a TV on, you can have a crowd around them, they don’t hear anything. They are deaf when they look into each other's eyes, and that’s just because there are too many details to be seen in each other eyes and face, there is no time for distraction, the mind concentrates only on admiring and analyzing the features of the face and eyes of that person, that object of desire and admiration.

It is quite possible that spending so much time only staring at each other, make them memorize some characteristics imperceptible in the routine of the day to day.

If you ask Steve how many pores Natasha has on her face, he will think and know the answer. Okay, he'll know approximately, but he'll even remember in what spots on her face she already had blackheads and pimples, he knows everything, everything about that face and about that body.

Do you know those moments that you feel strange when the subject of a talk ends and you have to continue near that person? It’s extremely uncomfortable. And it was to be like that with Natasha, but something is wrong. Natasha doesn’t understand why she doesn’t feel uncomfortable about being silent next to Steve. She may be silent next to him for hours, without feeling anxious. _And this is absurd. It doesn’t make any sense._ For Natasha...

Some people say that when you leave your fingers away on purpose, they will remain like that, but from the moment you relax, your fingers will come together again, slowly one moves towards the other, with no one forcing anything. You can experiment with your thumb and index finger. They will join, they will approach.

This is the effect that Steve and Natasha have when they are together and alone. They are relaxed, not forcing anything, but the attraction to each other's face happens unintentionally.

_That is very dangerous._ Natasha thought.

As Steve and Natasha's faces approached, it was harder to keep their eyes from staring on each other's lips. The breaths were already mixed by the proximity, there was no way to know the individual space of each.

The moment their eyes closes, it was the best part, because it was for sure that those lips will lean on each other, that the tongues will intertwine and they will become just one person for all the time that that kiss lasts.

It would have been a wonderful kiss if they had kissed, it would have been one of the best kisses between them, but the doorbell interrupted all the connection they had established at the time.

The moment they both disconnect from that passion, it generates a some kind of frustration.

Steve and Natasha smiled uncomfortably, Natasha tried to get up, but Steve made her lie down.

**S: I'll answer. Don’t worry.**

Steve got up and walked to the door, he opened the door and he was very surprised to see who it was.

**S: Bucky?**

**B: Hi... Sorry I didn’t come before, I was on a mission. I heard you got hurt, how are you feeling?**

**S: I... I am fine.**

Steve was glad to see his friend, who was worried about him and at the same time, he was so frustrated by the interruption and more for being Bucky, the man who makes him feel jealous because of Natasha.

The silence of Steve made Bucky uncomfortable, he cleared his throat.

**S: Oh, I’m sorry! Sorry… Do you want to come in?**

Bucky entered the apartment and saw Natasha lying on the couch, who immediately sat down to notice that it was Bucky. There was some disappointment in his gaze.

**B: Oh, I see you're already being taken care of.**

**S: Yes, I'm in good hands. Can I get you something to drink?**

**B: No, I... I just came to know if you needed anything.**

**S: No, I'm fine.**

Natasha got up and looked at Bucky.

**N: Actually, Bucky can help.**

Natasha looked at Bucky.

**N: Do you mind staying with Steve this morning?**

**B: No...**

**N: I have to leave to do some stuff.**

**S: Natasha, you're not well.**

**B: She’s not? Why?**

**S: She almost fainted a few hours ago.**

**B: I can take you to a hospital.**

**N: No, thank you. I am fine.**

Natasha took a jacket from her bag.

Bucky looked at her bag and deduced that Natasha was coming back to Steve, to live with him again.

Natasha headed for the door and looked at Steve before she left.

**N: I'll come back to get the kids at school.**

**S: I need to be there.**

**N: I know, I'll get you first.**

Steve nodded and Natasha left the apartment.

Actually Natasha left to give space and privacy to Steve and Bucky, she knew that being there, neither he nor Bucky would be comfortable and they are friends, she doesn’t want to be the stone in the shoe of their friendship.

In the apartment, Steve and Bucky were in an uncomfortable silence, Bucky didn’t take his eyes from Natasha's bag. Steve noticed and let him think what he wanted.

**S: Sit down. Please.**

Steve pointed to the couch.

Bucky sat down and Steve sat on the armchair.

**B: Are you okay?**

**S: I'm fine.**

**B: And the children?**

**S: They are very naughty, but both well.**

Bucky smiled and Steve too. But Bucky's smile was a sad smile.

**B: So, news?**

Steve shook his head.

**S: Well, actually, I was thinking about the activities as Captain.**

**B: What do you mean?**

**S: I can’t be Captain America and father of James and Sarah. I just can’t.**

**B: What are you talking about, Steve? You're a great dad and the best Captain I've ever met. You can be both.**

**S: I'm not being a father when I'm being the Captain.**

**B: Are you going to quit?**

**S: I don’t know.**

**B: We need you.**

**S: There are many new Avengers nowadays.**

**B: But I don’t think any of them can take your place.**

**S: Not anyone, just the best one can.**

Steve raised his eyebrows slightly, staring at Bucky. Bucky broke his smile and was serious when he noticed that Steve was referring to him.

**B: Ohh… No… Steve... I… I never could be. I mean they would never accept it.**

**S: It has to be someone I trust. Someone I know is capable.**

**B: They would never accept me, especially Tony.**

**S: Yes, they will accept. You have already shown your worth and you are willing to make up for the things you did in the past, even if you weren’t even responsible for it.**

**B: Steve...**

**S: Calm down, like I said, I don’t know yet.**

**B: Sam would be your only option.**

**S: I disagree. I have three options. You, Sam and Natasha. The problem is that Natasha would never accept that and she also needs to be present for the kids.**

**B: Natasha will never retire to stay with family.**

**S: I didn’t say that.**

**B: I thought that's what you meant.**

**S: No...**

**B: Are you two… together again?**

Steve frowned and took a moment to answer.

**S: No. She came to help me with the kids while I recover, that's all.**

Bucky listened and Steve noticed a small expression of relief on his face.

**S: I know you have feelings for her, Bucky.**

**B: Steve...**

**S: It's okay. I know about your past with her. I know she's attracted to you and if she wants to be with you, I will not interfere. I will not hate you because of that.**

**B: No, Steve, she... She may not remember, but whoever sees her realizes she still has feelings for you.**

**S: She does not. She feels attraction.**

**B: Not only that, I know her very well.**

Steve felt his throat dry, this "very well" seemed like he knows her better than Steve and the probability of that being true is high, which causes jealousy in Steve.

...

**N: Hey.**

**H: There you are, nurse. Applying lots of injections on that sexy ass?**

**N: So you think Steve's ass sexy?**

**H: Who doesn’t?**

**N: Who shouldn’t think that, in case. You are my friend.**

**H: Yeah, but I thought you are separated.**

**N: We are, but he is still my ex.**

**H: Now we have that thing that we can’t go out with the ex of the other?**

**N: Oh, so you want to go out with him?**

**H: Well, why not? I’m sexy, he is sexy. I’m single, he is single, so…**

****

Natasha laughed and Hill too. Natasha knows it's a joke.

Hill walked into another room and began to pick her weapons and ammunition. They were in her apartment.

**H: I'm going on a mission to Georgia. Want to join us?**

**N: No. I can’t.**

**H: Why? Mission of the Avengers?**

**N: No, I promised to get Sarah at school. And Steve can’t be alone with them yet.**

**H: Ohhhh, I see…**

**N: What? Why you’re looking at me this way?**

**H: You're reminding me of what it was like just before the accident. Natasha’s mode family.**

**N: Aff, how you make me feel discouraged, Hill.**

**H: Sorry. It's cute, who knows when I'm about 50 I think about having something like that for me.**

**N: You're an idiot. Hill... Did you talk to Wanda?**

**H: Yes. But she's out of town. As soon as she return, we will try.**

Natasha nodded.

**H: Why this face?**

**N: I feel so weird lately, I don’t feel myself anymore. This happens when I stay with Steve at his house and the kids.** **It's like it's not me.**

**H: But that's exactly who you are. Are you unhappy there?**

****

**N: No, that's not the word.**

**H: You don’t remember what it's like to have a family because you've never had one before you remember. You're experimenting like it's the first time and that’s what scares you most.**

**N: I'm not a little girl.**

**H: I know. But you need to lose that fear. You are afraid of wanting and enjoying having this family.**

**N: I don’t want to!**

**H: I know you don’t want to want that family. And I know you're starting to like to have a family and I know you're going to run away from it.**

**N: I hate it when you’re right. But I can’t get away without trying to remember with Wanda. Steve told me about how our novel started. If I could feel everything he describes…**

Natasha sighed.

**H: Maybe you feel like you remember. Maybe all this discomfort you feel means something.**

**N: What do you mean?**

**H: Natasha... For you to bother with someone, it's because you care. It’s no use saying that it is just because of the children and so on. If you really wanted to stay away from Steve, you'd stay.**

Hill kissed Natasha on the cheek and left the bedroom. Natasha spent some time inside Hill's apartment until it was time to pick the children and at that time she was there, she thought about everything she and Hill had talked about.

Natasha left the building and went to get Steve in his apartment. Bucky had left only a few minutes ago.

Natasha waited for Steve inside the car, she just called and asked him to come down, and when he arrived, Steve got in the car with Natasha and they headed off to school.

As soon as the signal hit the smaller children lined up. Sarah was tiptoeing, looking for her parents outside, but she didn’t see them because they were farther away.

Sarah saw the children leave one at a time and when it was her turn, she was already feeling discouraged, waiting for Cindy to pick her up.

**S: Hi princess.**

Sarah turned her face sharply with the shock she had when she heard her father's voice.

Sarah ran to Steve and hugged his leg.

**Sarah: DADDY! You came!**

**S: Of course.**

**N: I promised, didn’t I?**

Sarah smiled and nodded, she looked up to see Steve.

**Sarah: Up?**

Steve shook his head, and reached out to hold her hand, Sarah didn’t even try to argue this time, she held Steve's hand and reached out to Natasha, who this time claimed a pain in her arm to not hold her hand and play the happy family role.

Sarah understands now that with pain, it’s not possible to give or to do what she wants.

They walked to James's school, he had already left and he was waiting at the door of the school with the inspector, he was super excited to see his parents together.

James ran downstairs and hugged Steve.

**S: Hey, champ? How was school today?**

**J: Oh, we had test today.**

**S: And you didn’t study?**

**J: I forgot I had test.**

**S: Wow, James, you're big enough to know when you have a test.**

**J: But I forgot.**

**S: Alright, let's wait for the grade and let’s not let this happen again.**

**Sarah: I want my bottle.**

**N: Bottle only in the morning and at bedtime, remember we talked?**

Sarah looked at Natasha and sighed.

Steve looked at Sarah.

**S: If you're hungry, let's eat something.**

**Sarah: Let's go to Elisa, daddy! I want cupcake!**

**S: No cupcakes, we’re going to eat food.**

**Sarah: Crap!**

**S: Sarah! It's ugly to talk like that.**

**N: It was not even a dirty word, Steve.**

**S: But I don’t want her with those languages, neither she nor James.**

**J: I'm not even doing anything and you already speak my name.**

**S: Well, let's eat there in Elisa's diner.**

Natasha took a deep breath, watching Steve.

**S: What?**

**N: Nothing.**

Steve frowned a little bit.

**S: Come on.**

Steve walked holding James and Sarah by the hand. Natasha followed them a little farther back.

Steve walked into the diner, James and Sarah ran for a window seat. Of course James arrived first, Sarah was disgusted and began to cry. Steve and Natasha arrived shortly afterwards and sat down.

**N: Sarah, stop crying.**

**Sarah: But Jamie...**

Elisa approached the Rogers table and covered Sarah's eyes from behind, which made her startle and stop crying. Steve smiled and Natasha cleared her throat and looked impatiently out the window.

**E: Let's see if you know who it is?**

**Sarah: I don’t know.**

**E: Don’t you know? What if I give you a cupcake?**

**Sarah: ELISA!**

Elisa took of her hands of Sarah's eyes, and Sarah turned look at her.

Elisa as always, with a gentle smile on her face, she looked at Steve who smiled back.

**E: Well, we have a throne for princesses here, you know?**

Sarah frowned. Elisa walked away and came back with a highchair for children.

**E: Please, Your Highness.**

Sarah smiled and positioned herself in front of the chair, Elisa took her in her lap and sat her in the chair.

**S: Look, if we didn’t have a babysitter you would be perfect for this job.**

**E: Actually, I worked as a babysitter when I was younger.**

**J: Not you! We already have Cindy!**

Steve looked at James who was in a bad mood now.

**S: I’m sorry, James. Where are your manners? Is that the way you talk, James?**

**E: It’s alright. Kids are like that. Can I write down your orders?**

**S: Natasha, what do you want to eat? Can I suggest the chicken with salad?**

Natasha just nodded. Steve looked at Elisa again.

**S: Let's get 2 chickens with salad, and for the children, you can bring a steak with vegetables.**

**Sarah: No veggies!**

**J: Yuck, vegetables not.**

**S: Vegetables yes.**

Sarah: I want fries and happy meal!

**S: No fries today. Maybe tomorrow.**

**Sarah: Aaaaa.**

**J: Mom!!!**

Natasha looked at James and looked out the window again.

Elisa retired to provide the orders.

**J: Mom?**

Natasha looked at James.

**S: No use, James. I said no.**

**Sarah: Crap!**

Sarah closed her hand and hit the table. Steve looked at her in surprise.

**S: Sarah! I already said it's bad talk like that. What’s up with you, huh?**

Sarah crossed her arms.

When the food arrived, she only ate after Natasha gave her a reproving look. Natasha no longer needs to talk to Sarah to make her do the right thing, just by the look, Sarah already knows she can’t argue.

...

Four days later, Natasha took Steve to the doctor, he was completely healed from the wound, thanks to the super serum. At the end of the appointment, Steve looked at Natasha.

**S: I think you're free from me now.**

Natasha gave a small smile.

**N: I'm glad you're okay.**

****

They were silent for a few seconds.

Steve wanted to ask Natasha to not leave, that all these days with her, it's been wonderful, but he knows he has no right to do it.

**N: Well, I have good news.**

**S: Oh yeah? What?**

**N: The thing with that witch, is today.**

**S: With Wanda?**

Natasha nodded.

**N: The problem is that it’s when the kids are leaving the school.**

**S: Cindy can pick them.**

**N: But...**

**S: I want to be present.**

Natasha sighed and nodded. The two of them left the hospital, got in the car, and headed for the SHIELD building.

Fury and Hill were waiting with Wanda and Dr. Cho in a room reserved for the experiment.

As soon as Natasha came in and saw Wanda, she was surprised because she was very young and because Wanda was clearly nervous.

Wanda approached Steve and hugged him.

**S: How are you?**

**W: I’m fine. I’m a bit nervous, but I hope I can help you.**

**N: Is it not 100% guaranteed?**

**Cho: Natasha it’s very complicated. Wanda has never had intense training, she recently started, we don’t know everything she is capable of. We know that she is very powerful and can awaken memories.**

**W: I can’t determine what part of your past I will lead you to. We can** **try several times until we find what they are looking for.**

**N: My past?**

Steve watched the look of concern on Natasha's face.

**S: If you don’t want to do that, that's okay.**

Natasha shook her head.

**N: No, I… I'll do it.**

Natasha looked at Steve and sighed, she headed for the stretcher in the middle of the room and lay down. Cho approached her and Wanda too.

**Cho: Natasha, I need you to relax, it will seem like if you’re living all of that again, you may even feel something, but remember that it's just memories, you're here with us, you’re safe.**

**S: That sounds dangerous. I didn’t know it would be like that, I’m not sure if we should proceed anymore…**

**N: Steve, it's okay.**

Steve looked into Natasha’s eyes and she nodded.

Steve sighed and went silent.

Cho stepped back a bit and Wanda positioned herself at the head of the stretcher.

Wanda took a deep breath to concentrate, she made movements with her hands and fingers that resembled a kind of dance. A red wave-shaped light began to form around Wanda's fingers, she brought her hands closer to Natasha's head.  

Natasha immediately felt her head and her body heavy, her eyes turned red, and now Wanda was in complete control of Natasha's mind.


	36. Don't you forget about me

**Steve: What's happening?**

**Fury: Captain, stay calm.**

**S: She looks doped.**

**F: She is. Did you think it would be a hypnosis session?**

**S: No, but...**

**Hill: Steve, relax.**

**S: But nothing is happening!**

**W: There’s too many voices.**

**Cho: People, silence, Wanda needs to concentrate.**

Wanda struggled to rummage through Natasha's mind, she could see what Natasha was visualizing in the form of a dream. But the images are being showing to her, is still from the last few hours.

**Cho: Wanda?**

**W: They're still recent memories.**

**Cho: Focus, Wanda. Look for more into the past.**

**W: I'm trying!**

Wanda closed her eyes for a few seconds and began to turn back the time in Natasha's mind, she managed to see the memories of the day before that, and the one before, and more before that.

**W: I'm getting there, but...**

Wanda frowned.

**W: So slow…**

**Cho: It’s fine, you're doing great.**

Wanda felt her body get more tired, but she has a huge affection for Steve Rogers and she will do anything to bring his wife back.

Wanda arrived in the memories of the mission in Saudi Arabia, then she jumped to the one of London, that jumped to the day of the coma, and then the memories started to come one after the other, successively and very fast.

Wanda's head hurt.

Cho watched her.

**Cho: Wanda?**

**W: It's going too fast!**

**Cho: Wanda, the control is all yours. Remember that. It’s not your** **powers that command your body. You command them.**

**W: It's very strong, I can’t!**

Natasha's body trembled a little, then Natasha's face moved side to side and her arms began to shake. Steve was ready to run to Natasha, but Fury and Hill grabbed his arm.

**F: Captain, I told you to calm down.**

**S: There's something wrong, can’t you see?**

**F: Cho is here so if you interrupt Wanda, it can cause more damage in Natasha's mind. You don't want that, do you?**

Steve looked at Fury and as much as he wanted to know what was happening to Natasha, it was true that he could make it everything worse interrupting.

Wanda sweated and gritted her teeth, trying to take control of her powers. Natasha's body calmed down a few minutes later.

Wanda managed to make Natasha's mind stop pulling back.

**Cho: So, Wanda?**

**W: I see a baby.**

**Cho: A baby?**

**S: James... or Sarah.**

Wanda shook her head.

**W: No. It's her.**

**S: Sarah?**

**Cho: Natasha...**

Wanda nodded.

**W: She's very small, they're taking her somewhere.**

**Cho: Wanda, is not this memory we're looking for, can you go any further?**

**W: I'll try.**

Wanda took a deep breath and struggled to make Natasha's mind move forward.

**W: I see a redheaded girl. She is 6 years old at the most. She's stealing food. She hasn’t eaten in days.**

**Cho: Wanda, move on.**

**W: They got her. The police. She's going to an orphanage.**

Steve sighed, impatient, he doesn’t know about Natasha's past, but he knows it was painful for her.

**W: She's 8 years old, she's dancing ballet and… and they are making her repeat a dance step, again and again. They want her to be perfect, but she is exhausted.**

Cho watched as Natasha's breathing grew heavier and faster.

**W: She missed one step. Oh my God!**

**Cho: What???**

Natasha moaned loudly and bent her knees, then relaxing again.

**W: They're hurting her so she doesn’t make another mistake. They're hurting her too much….**

Wanda was feeling hurt for seeing those scenes, she was almost crying.

**W: She is just a child…**

****

**Cho: It's okay, Wanda. Advance more. Get out of there.**

Wanda nodded and concentrated again.

**W: They're celebrating her 10th birthday. There are 10 children invited to the party.**

Wanda smiled, feeling finally relieved with a happy memory of Natasha.

**W: There's a man next to her… He handed her a gun and… Jesus, he’s making her point the gung to the kids and…. Oh, no! Natasha! NO!!!**

Wanda lost her breath and all her focus, she began to shake herself.

**W: Oh my God! She killed them all. The cake is covered in blood... Oh, Natasha. She is very young. They are celebrating.**

**Cho: Wanda, I know it's difficult, but you need to work harder to go forward.**

**W: I can’t go faster!**

**Cho: Okay, Okay... Take your time.**

**W: She's 12 years old, she's a great sniper. She has classes in etiquette and languages. She never smiled... Now she is 15 years old and they brought 15 boys and girls for her birthday. Oh God, Natasha is with a knife... I DON’T WANT TO SEE THAT**

Wanda interrupted the speech to scream, Wanda lost the strength in her legs.

**Cho: Wanda! Please focus.**

Wanda had to kneel down to keep control in Natasha's mind.

**Cho: Move forward, Wanda, move!!!**

**W: She's in a red room and…**

Wanda frowned.

**W: I think I know that man.**

**Cho: What man?**

**W: I know him. He has a metal arm.**

**S: It's Bucky.**

**W: He's feeling sorry for her, he's helping her.**

Steve frowned and took a deep breath. It's just a memory of the past, but it still hurts him.

**W: He's her only friend, he wants to get her out of there. Someone is coming and fighting with Natasha and the man. He grabs Natasha's arm and Bucky defends her. The other man tells Natasha to attack Bucky.**

Steve looked at Wanda, puzzled.

**W: She has her gun pointed at him.**

Steve doesn’t want to hear that Natasha shot Bucky.

**W: She can’t shoot him. The man takes her gun and shoots Bucky anyway, Natasha is crying, they are taking her away. She thinks he is dead**

Natasha started to get her body agitated again, she clenched her fist tightly and her lips trembled.

**W: She's trying to push me out of her mind.**

**Cho: You're stronger, Wanda.** **Control her!**

**W: She's in a room, there are devices attached to her head. Oh God! Why are they doing this to her? They have to stop, this is killing her.**

**Cho: No one is killing her, Wanda, remember it's her memories, it's not happening now.**

Natasha let out more groans and her breathing changed again.

Cho watched Natasha's nose bleed.

**Cho: She's bleeding. We need to stop.**

**F: No, she can handle it!**

**Cho and Steve looked at Fury in shock.**

**F: I know she can handle it.**

**W: They're trying to make her forget things. They're playing with her mind.**

Steve took a deep breath and closed his hand, he was no longer able to hear it all, to know that Natasha is suffering and he can’t allow that to continue. Even with Fury's protests, Steve walked over to Wanda and ordered her to stop immediately.

**Cho: Steve, it's not that simple.**

**S: I don’t care!** **Stop right now!**

**W: I'm feeling weak, she’s not letting me in anymore.**

****

**Cho: It’s all right, Wanda. You have done enough for today**

Wanda removed the powers from Natasha's mind and sat down on the floor, trying to recover. Natasha opened her eyes at the same time and sat down, feeling her heart beat very fast.

Natasha remembered all the horrors she had made and what she did to several people, innocent and guilty ones. It was a lot of information that she kept hidden in her mind so she wouldn’t suffer over it.

Natasha couldn’t help the tears, her whole body shivered involuntarily. Steve stared into Natasha’s eyes, but she was looking through him, it was like she wasn’t there.

**S: Natasha? Natasha?**

Cho approached and checked Natasha's vital signs.

**Cho: She'll be fine, she just need to rest. We can try another day.**

**S: No! I don’t want her to remember that way. I won’t allow this to happen again!**

Steve was very angry, he took Natasha in his arms and left the room.

Steve put Natasha in the car, and she quickly fell asleep, he took her home and asked Cindy to pick up the children and stay with them  in her house until the next day. Steve doesn’t want the kids to see their mother in that state

Steve carried Natasha in his arms all the time, it was difficult to have to deliver her to bed. Yes, even to bed it was hard, because no one can take better care of her than he, nothing is reliable enough.

As soon as Natasha felt her body touch the bed, she awoke. Her eyes were heavy and she was slow to open her eyes. When she opened a breach, it was very foggy.

**S: Shhh...**

Steve sat on the bed next to Natasha and laid a hand on her forehead. Natasha seemed to struggle to stay awake, she began to pull the air hard, trying to reinvigorate herself. Finally her view cleared and she managed to look at Steve.

Natasha knows she couldn’t get to the end of that experience and she is very sorry to have finished with Steve's last hopes of getting her memories back.

**N: Steve?**

**S: I'm here. Take a rest.**

**N: I'm sorry…**

**S: It's okay, don’t worry about that.**

****

**N: I wanted to remember... I really wanted to.**

Steve stroked Natasha's face and showed empathy with his gaze.

**S: I know.**

Natasha struggled to get up and became extremely agitated.

**N: The children! We have to get them.**

**S: No… Calm down, Cindy picked them for me.**

Steve made Natasha lay down on the bed again

**N: You should have gone.**

**S: I'm not going anywhere until you’re okay.**

Natasha looked at Steve and she wanted to smile, but she was weak and too disappointed with herself.

Natasha sighed and closed her eyes.

**N: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.**

Steve noticed that Natasha was still sleepy. He took her hand and stroked the back of it.

Natasha dozed for another half hour and woke up more aware, Steve was still sitting on the edge of the bed looking at her.

Natasha doesn’t understand how he can smile at this moment, he must be devastated and yet he wants to make her feel good. No one can think so much about someone else. It’s not normal.

**S: Are you hungry? I can prepare a soup...**

Natasha made negative with her head.

Steve ran a hand over her forehead, removing a few strands of hair from Natasha's face.

**S: Are you feeling better now?**

Natasha nodded.

**S: I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.**

**N: It's not your fault.**

**S: I didn’t want you to go through that.**

**N: It’s alright. I am fine.**

**S: And I'm sorry for everything that happened to you...**

Now Natasha has changed the look on her face, she doesn’t talk about the past, it's too painful and she doesn’t want anyone's pity. She gets annoyed when someone ask too much about it and she was afraid Steve was going to try to talk about what happened, but all he said was that. He didn’t insist. Natasha breathed a sigh of relief.

**N: Steve?**

Natasha looked into his eyes.

Steve raised his eyebrows.

**N: Can you lie here with me? Just a little bit.**

Steve looked at her and nodded.

Steve took off his shoes and settled next to Natasha. Steve lay with his belly up and Natasha lay on her side, hugging Steve's waist and laying her head on his chest.

Steve sighed and hugged Natasha's back, he stroked Natasha's arm as if to say it was okay, and she felt the comfort he was giving to her.

Who should have been comforting someone, it was Natasha, she knows his heart must now be tight and knows that he probably lost all hope of her recovering any memory of the life she had with him. He's so good, he's just too good for someone like her.

 _Even if I am feeling something now, what right would I have to be with such a man? At the end of it, I know very well how it will end. He'll end up like Bucky, like Alexei and like Clint Barton. Shattered and doomed to suffering. I can’t do that to him._ Natasha thought with her eyes open, but Steve couldn’t notice she was still awake.

 _I need to give it up on him_. Natasha thought again and this time she felt her heart tighten because she, now, realizes that she has grown some feelings for Steve and this feeling grown each day she spends with him.

But her feelings for the other guys grew up too, and that didn’t stop her from getting rid of them, with no remorse at all.

Natasha turned her face to Steve's body, she let her nose rest against Steve's chest, and she pulled the air hard enough to smell him, as if it were the last time she could do that. Natasha sighed once more and lifted her face, Steve was still awake and he gave a small smile as they met each other's eyes.

Natasha rested her hand on the bed and moved her body higher, she leaned her face in the direction of Steve and he in hers. The two kissed tenderly, Steve reached a hand up to Natasha's neck and slid down to the nape of her neck.

Steve kissed her for almost forty minutes straight, deep down he seemed to know what was going on, he knew it was a goodbye and the way he was kissing her was a way to ask her to not do that, to not leave him.

Natasha placed her hand over Steve’s and pulled lightly to her face, she released Steve's lips and kissed the palm of his hand, then she looked into his eyes and moved her body over his.

Natasha sent over Steve's legs and removed her shirt over her head. She removed her bra and Steve unbuttoned her jeans.

Steve hugged Natasha's waist and turned her body, laying her down on the bed, he kissed Natasha's neck, then her belly and she ran her fingers through Steve's hair.

Steve continued to spread kisses down on her body.

Steve grabbed Natasha's jeans and kissed her navel as he forced to remove the pants from her body. Natasha lifted her legs up in the air to help Steve. He removed her jeans and then held the sides of her panties.

Steve kissed beneath Natasha’s navel and slowly slid her panties down.

Steve made love to Natasha almost all night long, he doesn’t even remember when they both stopped and fell asleep. Steve only knows that the next morning, he woke up on the floor of the bedroom, covered with a comforter and alone.

Steve looked around and didn’t see Natasha and he didn’t look for her in the apartment because he knows that Natasha is gone.

**_♫_ ** **_Don't you forget about me_ **

**_Don't don't don't don't_ **

**_Don't you forget about me_ **

****

**_Will you stand above me?_ **

**_Look my way, never love me_ **

**_Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling_ **

**_Down, down, down_ **

****

**_Will you recognise me?_ **

**_Call my name or walk on by?_ **

**_Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling_ **

**_Down, down, down, down_ **

 

**_Don't you try to pretend_ **

**_It's my feeling we'll win in the end_ **

**_I won't harm you or touch your defenses_ **

**_Vanity and security_ **

 

**_Don't you forget about me_ **

**_I'll be alone, dancing you know it, baby_ **

**_Going to take you apart_ **

**_I'll put us back together at heart, baby_ **

 

**_As you walk on by_ **

**_Will you call my name?_ **

**_As you walk on by_ **

**_Will you call my name?_ **

**_When you walk away ♪_ **

Simple Minds – Don’t You

 

 


	37. Losses

Steve spent the next few hours in a long bath in the tub, he just sat for hours in there, letting the hot water comfort his body.

Steve ran a hand through his hair and heard the phone of the house ring. Steve got up and wiped himself, he wrapped a towel around his waist and went into the living room to answer the phone.

**_S: Yes?_ **

**_C: Steve Rogers?_ **

**_S: Yes. Who’s that? Cindy?_ **

**_C: Yes, Mr. Rogers, it’s me, you said you would get the kids early._ **

Steve forgot the schedule, he was reflecting on Natasha and lost track of time.

**_S: I'm so sorry, Cindy. I'm going to pick them right now._ **

**_C: No need, I'm getting there now. I just wanted to make sure that you’re at home._ **

Cindy hung up.

Steve heard the doorbell ring, he opened the door and Cindy looked at him in amazement because Steve was only with the towel hiding his parts.

Cindy blushed and handed Sarah who was sleepy for Steve.

**S: I'm sorry, Cindy about the delay and…**

**C: Mr. Rogers…**

Cindy sighed and gesticulated for Steve to wait.

**C: You know that I really love the kids, but when you and Natasha disappear like that, it really mess up with my life. I have a lot of stuff to do, I'm at an important stage in college right now. Do you have any idea of how many classes I have lost because I had to be with them for you? I should be graduating this year, but… God knows when I will be able to graduate now.**

**S: Cindy, I know all of that. We are always taking too much of your time, I'm so sorry for that, it won’t happen again.**

**C: It really won’t, because I can’t take care of them anymore.**

****

James looked at Cindy and she looked at him briefly and looked away.

**S: Cindy, what are you talking about? You can’t take care of them anymore because of my delays? I understand your frustration and you’re absolutely right, but I'm sure we can get to an agreement about that...**

**C: No, Mr. Rogers, I'm sorry.**

**J: Cindy?**

James was desperate with that talk, he already lost his mom for one year, now she is here, but with no memories, e and also Cindy wants to leave him.

**S: They love you, Cindy. They are already used to you. They need you.**

Cindy shrugged her shoulders and held herself so she wouldn’t cry. She made negative with her head.

**S: Is it about the salary? Because I can increase.**

**C: No! It's about my life!**

Steve went silence for a few seconds, then he sighed and nodded.

**S: I understand. I’m sorry it has to be this way.**

Cindy came into the apartment just to talk to James, she crouched, looking at him, and James was serious.

Cindy held James’ hands.

**C: Hey, James... Be a good boy, okay? Take care of your sister.**

James nodded and looked down.

**J: Are you leaving because I broke Grandma's vase?**

**C: No, my love….**

Cindy stroked James’ face.

**C: It wasn’t your fault, this has nothing to do with you.**

**J: It was Dad's fault?**

**C: No... it’s no one’s fault, I just need some time to straighten out my life, but I'll visit you and Sarah whenever I can. I love you very much. Can I get a hug?**

James let his head fall the side and hugged Cindy. Cindy hold James for a few minutes, then she got up and wiped the tears, and before leaving she looked at Sarah who was already sleeping on Steve's arms.

**C: Tell her I… That I left a kiss for her. See you around, Mr. Rogers, take care of yourself and these kids, they’re very special.**

**S: Thank you, Cindy. You too.**

Steve nodded, closed the door, and sighed. He looked at James who was clearly very sad.

**S: Hey champ.**

**J: Where is my mom?**

Steve forgot that Natasha is not there anymore. James and Sarah knew that Natasha was there only for a few days to help Steve, but still, it would be a difficult when she left again.

James went to Steve's room, searching for Natasha.

**J: Mom?**

James ran to the bathroom in Steve's room, then he went into the hallway calling Natasha. He looked in the bedrooms and came back into the living room.

James looked at Steve.

**S: Sorry, champ.**

**J: Why?**

**S: She had to go.**

**J: No, she had not!**

**S: James... You know that your mom just came to stay a little, she has her own home and you will see her soon.**

**J: I want to see her now! I want her here!**

**S: I know, James. Please, don’t scream to not wake Sarah. I know you're upset.**

James covered his ears and ran to his bedroom.

**J: They all leave! They all left me alone!**

James shut the door with anger, causing a huge noise, which wake Sarah.

Steve walked after James and tried to open the door to James's room.

**S: James? Open the door.**

**J: No!**

**S: James, you know the door can’t be locked.**

**J: Go away! Go away you too and leave me alone!!!**

**S: No, James. I'm not leaving, you son. I will always be with you.**

**J: Liar!**

Steve could hear James crying. He hardly cries in front of his parents, he's like Natasha, playing the strong.

Steve didn’t expect Cindy to resign on the same day that Natasha had decided to leave him for good, he was devasted.

**Sarah: Daddy?**

**S: Yes, Sarah.**

Steve was trying to control his own emotions so he wouldn’t scare the kids.

**Sarah: I want a bottle.**

**S: Bottle only at bedtime.**

Sarah laid her head on Steve's shoulder. Steve put her on the bed in her bedroom and Sarah went back to sleep.

Steve went into the bedroom and dressed up, then he reported that he wasn’t going to be on duty work at the Avengers Base this weekend because he needed to stay with the kids and that he might not even show up during the whole week until he found another nanny.

Steve looked at the floor of the room and noticed a small piece of black clothing under the bed, he approached and took the clothe. It was Natasha's bra, she forgot or didn’t find it before she left. Steve felt his whole chest burn, he sniffed the bra and sighed. He needed to do something about it, he looked at his cell phone and thought about calling her.

**Sarah: Daddy?**

Steve looked away from the cell phone to little Sarah. He raised his eyebrows.

**Sarah: I am hungry.**

Steve nodded, he walked over to her and gave her a hand to hold, Sarah stretched out her arms, wanting a lap, but Steve ignored it, to not forget what Natasha taught her about limits.

Sarah didn’t cry, she hold Steve's hand and went into the living room with him.

Steve went to check the pantry and had nothing to cook, he even looked if he had milk in the refrigerator so he could satisfy Sarah until he could prepare lunch, but there wasn’t either.

Steve asked Sarah to dress another clothe, because they would go out.

**Sarah: We go where, daddy?**

**S: At the supermarket.**

**Sarah: Yay!**

Sarah jumped and ran to her bedroom.

Steve took his wallet in his bedroom and put it in his pocket. Steve tried to get into James's room, but it was still locked. Steve knocked on the door.

**S: James? James? Can you answer if you’re alive?**

**J: I'm dead!**

**S: Great! We need to go to the supermarket, there's nothing to eat here.**

**J: I won’t got!**

**S: James, you can’t be here alone.**

**Sarah: I'm ready, I'm ready.**

Steve looked at Sarah with her blouse on the wrong side. He took off her blouse, turned it over, and put it back on her.

**S: Go get your shoes, Sarah. James? Sarah needs to eat. You need too. Come on, hurry.**

**J: No!**

Steve took a deep breath.

Steve got a call and it was Sam Wilson.

**_S: Sam. I'm glad you called._ **

**_Sam: What happened?_ **

**_S: I need you to come here as soon as possible._ **

**_Sam: I'm close, I'll be there in 10 minutes._ **

Steve hung up and turned on the TV for Sarah. Ten minutes later, Sam rang the bell.

**Sam: What happened?**

**S: Nothing. James locked himself in his room.**

**Sam: Uh, can’t you break it in?**

**S: No. He needs time and space.**

**Sam: Is he upset?**

**S: Yes. Natasha came back here these days to help me recover.**

**Sam: Yes, I know that.**

**S: She left today.**

**Sam: I'm sorry.**

**S: I’m sorry too. And the nanny resigned. James was very attached to her.**

**Sam: Too much for the kids. What’s up, little Sarah?**

Sarah smiled at Sam.

**S: Stay with them for me? I need to buy some stuff.**

Sarah jumped off the couch.

**Sarah: I’ll go with you daddy!**

**S: Don’t you want to be here with Uncle Sam?**

Sarah took Steve's hand and shook her head.

Sam tickled her.

**Sam: Ha! So, is that how it is?**

**S: I'll take her with me. Just try to make James open the door, he likes you.**

**Sam: Leave it to me, pal.**

Steve and Sarah left the apartment.

Steve was walking to the supermarket. When he's angry and sad, exercises help him a lot.

Halfway through, Sarah stopped and put her hand on her knee, she was tired of walking. She turned to Steve and held out her arms. Steve caught her in the lap this time, just because they were walking too much.

About twenty minutes later, they reached the supermarket. Steve took the cart and put Sarah inside.

**S: You almost doesn’t fit there anymore.**

Steve walked by the halls, beginning the shopping.

**Sarah: Cookie, cookie.**

**S: I'll buy, but you can only eat after I pay.**

Sarah reached out, trying to get the cookie from the shelf. Steve took it and handed it to her, Sarah tried to open the package.

**S: What did I just say?**

**Sarah: Pay...**

**S: Yes, so?**

Sarah looked at Steve and put the package in the cart. Steve was very pleased that she didn’t make a scandal for not having what she wanted. Usually he has to go to the cashier and pay for her to eat what she wants.

After picking rice, some pasta and cleaning products, Steve headed for the vegetables, he put the cart down on the potato stall and went to get plastic bags to bag the vegetables.

Steve was distracted taking it all at once, then he returned to the cart and saw a woman talking to Sarah. Steve came over and put the vegetables in the cart.

**\- I can’t believe we met here!**

Steve recognized the woman when he saw her face.

Steve smiled.

**S: Elisa. How are you?**

**E: Very well. I saw little Sarah and I recognized her red hair from far away.**

**Sarah: She'll give me cupcakes!**

**S: Sarah, you asked? It's not nice to ask.**

**E: No, I offered. I know she likes it very much, but I’ll only prepare some for her, if you don’t mind.**

**S: I don’t mind at all. This is very nice of you. Thank you.**

**E: It’s alright. I'm going to finish my shopping.**

**S: See you later.**

**E: Sure. Bye Bye, Sarah.**

Sarah waved. Steve pushed the cart to the meat part, he picked what he needed, and went to the cashier area.

...

Many hours ago, when it was still four o'clock in the morning, Natasha woke up in Steve's arms, she stepped out of his arms carefully. They were lying on the floor.

Natasha reached for her clothes and put them on. She straightened her hair, watching Steve asleep on the floor.

Natasha sighed, she took the duvet and covered Steve. She left his apartment and half an hour later she was knocking on Hill's door.

Hill took ten minutes to answer the door.

**H: Natasha? What are you doing here at this hour? What is going on?**

Natasha entered Hill's apartment and saw a man, half naked on the couch. He looked at Natasha and raised his eyebrow.

**\- Oh, you brought a friend to have fun too. Well, this is going to be interesting.**

**N: Hill, send him away.**

**H: Send him away? Are you kidding me? Do you know how long I’ve been without...**

Hill stopped talking when she noticed Natasha's expression.

Hill looked at the man.

**H: Bill you have to go.**

**\- My name is Mike.**

Hill frowned.

**H: That's what I said. Go. Go.**

Hill pulled the man's arm, making him rise from the couch. Hill picked up his clothes and shoes and handed them to his hand.

**\- May I use the bathroom first?**

**H: Oh you may not**

Natasha opened the door and the man walked by her, winking at her before leaving. He still stopped in the hallway and looked at Hill and Natasha.

**\- I still think the three of us could have a lot of fun tonight...**

Natasha closed the door at his face and rolled her eyes, she looked at Hill

**N: Where do you find these jerks?**

**H: Not everyone has a Steve Rogers to satisfy themselves.**

Hill noticed that Natasha's expression grew darker after mentioning Steve.

**H: So... What happened?**

**N: I think I like him...**

Natasha blinked a few times and stared at the ceiling.

**N: Like I, uh… I don’t know, maybe I'm in love. That is stupid.**

**H: What??? That's great, Natasha. I mean, why aren’t you happy about it?**

Natasha didn’t answer, Hill analyzed her.

**H: Did you leave him again?**

**N: I never came back to him.**

**H: Yes you did. Now that you’re creating feelings, will you get him out of your life?**

**N: I don’t love him, I just ...**

**H: You’re in love.**

**N: I don’t know if I truly am.**

**H: You don’t have to push him away, you should take advantage and make everything to...**

**N: To force a love?**

Natasha interrupted Hill.

**N: A love that he wants and that I can’t give to him? I'm not the woman he fell in love with. I’m not that Natasha.**

**H: Of course you are!!! You're the same.**

**N: I'm not! You know me, I'm only going to hurt him.**

**H: But don’t you think you should let him decide for himself? What if he wants to go through this pain? He is an adult, he knows what he wants.**

**N: No! He's not using his head.**

**H: And you are?**

**N: If I was using my heart, I...**

Natasha sighed and went silent. Hill looked at her with raised eyebrows.

**N: I just need him to let go of me.**

**H: That's impossible.**

**N: He just have to meet another woman. Actually, I already know one.**

**H: Who?**

**N: There's a waitress that Steve knows and has been doing some visits to him. She's very close to Steve and sh eis pretty.**

**H: Did she hit on him in front of you?**

**N: No, at least not deliberately.**

**H: I think Steve will suffer more if he sees you pushing him to another woman, you’ve tried that move before.**

**N: And that's why I came to talk to you.**

Hill looked at Natasha, confused, then she understood what she meant and shook her head.

**H: I can’t, Natasha.**

**N: It's just to encourage.**

**H: Oh Natasha, no! No way, I'm sorry I won’t do that.**

**N: I thought you wanted to help me.**

**H: I do, do you need a tissue box to cry on? That's the kind of help I can offer.**

...

Back to the supermarket

**\- That's $39, ma'am.**

**E: Just a minute, please.**

Steve approached the cashier and noticed that Elisa looked nervous and was looking for something in her purse.

**S: Elisa? Is everything okay?**

**E: Hm? Steve? Oh, yes.**

Elisa stared at Steve and she was blushed.

**\- $39!**

**E: Just a minute!!**

**S: Can I help?**

**E: I can’t find my wallet. I must have left it at home. I’m just so stupid!**

**\- Please, lady, get out of line then.**

Steve opened his wallet and Elisa blushed again.

**E: Oh no! Steve, no.** **Don’t do that.**

**S: Don’t worry, it’s fine.**

Steve handed a $50 bill to the Cashier.

**E: Oh my God, I feel so ashamed**

**S: That’s not a problem, I know where you work, so... I can get the money back.**

Steve joked. Elisa smiled.

**E: I’ll pay it back. I promise.**

**Sarah: Can I open the cookies, Daddy?**

**S: No, I haven’t paid yet.**

**\- Here's the change, sir.**

Steve got the money. Elisa took the shopping bags out and looked at Steve again.

**E: Thank you very much.**

**S: No problem.**

Elisa smiled and waved to Sarah before she left. Steve started putting his stuff on the cashier table and the cashier was looking at him with a big smile on her face.

**\- You're Captain America, aren’t you?**

Steve was embarrassed and nodded.

**\- ANNA! IT'S HIM! I said so!**

Steve noticed that all the cashier began to whisper and look at him. Steve sighed and he was apprehensive because Sarah was with him and it was already forming a group of people taking pictures of him and of her.

**S: Can you just charge the shopping, please?**

**\- I'm your fan, Captain. When I saw a man so handsome like, I knew you had to be famous! But first I thought you were from TV or a singer, but it's better than that. You’re the Captain America!**

**S: Thank you, that’s very nice but I have my daughter here. I need to hurry.**

**\- Oh! Of course!**

A paparazzi reporter emerged in the hallway with a professional camera and took a series of photos of him and Sarah. Steve noticed, but he didn’t react to not cause any trouble, that was until the reporter approached Sarah.

Steve leaned against his chest and spoke calmly.

**S: Please, sir. She's just a kid. We're just shopping. I'd like you to respect my privacy, please.**

****

The journalist nodded and walked away, but anyway two teenagers came right away and asked for an autograph.

Steve signed her notebooks and people in the street, noticed the movement inside the supermarket and camein to find out what was happening.

A crowd of people formed around Steve. Sarah looked at Steve, startled.

**Sarah: Daddy?**

Steve tried to get Sarah from the cart, but there were people coming in his way.

Steve had to be a bit rude when Sarah started crying. People were amazed at how he spoke. Steve took Sarah in his lap and looked at the cashier, clearly irritated.

**S: How much?**

**\- The manager said it's courtesy.**

**S: I don’t accept that. I'll pay. How much?**

**Sarah: I want to go home, daddy.**

**S: We're leaving, Sarah.**

**\- $120.**

Steve placed his credit card in the machine and entered the password. He put the shopping in the cart and still couldn’t get through the crowd, but the supermarket security came to help. They alienated the people and allowed Steve to leave the place.

Steve had to take a cab, to not be followed home by the fanatics and press.

Steve arrived at his building and picked up the bags.

**Sarah: I'll help, Daddy.**

**S: It's too heavy for you.**

**Sarah: I'll take it, I'll take it!**

Steve handed the bag with toilet paper for Sarah to carry, since it was very light.

Upon arriving at the apartment, Steve found James sitting on the couch next to Sam, watching a game.

**S: Glad you left the room.**

James didn’t look at Steve. Sam got up and greeted Steve by squeezing his hand.

**Sam: I have to go.**

**S: Thank you very much, Sam.**

**Sam: Whenever you need...**

Sam smiled and waved to say goodbye to the children. Sam left the apartment and Steve put the bags on the kitchen counter.

**S: James, have you taken a shower?**

James kept looking at the TV.

**S: James?**

James ignored Steve.

**S: James, I asked you a question.**

**J: No!**

**S: Why don’t you take a shower right now as I prepare something to eat?**

**J: No!**

**S: James. I'm telling you to take a shower.**

James turned up the volume of the TV, ignoring Steve completely. Steve was so stressed out with Natasha's departure, Cindy's dismissal and media harassment even with Sarah that he gave up insisting on James to not be too rude.

Sarah watched the way James responded Steve and she was impressed. She looked at Steve and saw how sad he was.

**Sarah: Daddy?**

Steve looked at Sarah, still impatient.

**Sarah: I'm going to take a shower, Daddy, okay?**

Steve nodded, Sarah went to the bathroom and Steve took a deep breath, looking at James.

 _It's not his fault._ Steve thought.

Steve started to prepare the dinner, and then he served the food on the table and helped Sarah get dressed.

Sarah and Steve sat down at the table to eat.

Steve looked at James.

**S: James, come eat.**

James continued ignoring Steve. Steve got up and turned off the TV.

**S: I told you to come eat.**

James got up and sat down on the table. He held his fork, but he didn’t touch the food. Steve sat down again and took a bite.

Steve watched James.

**S: Aren’t you going to eat?**

James didn’t look at Steve. Steve took a deep breath and wiped his mouth on his napkin, trying to be patient.

Sarah was feeling bad about this thing between Steve and James. She held the spoon with food.

**Sarah: I'm eating, Daddy. Look!**

Steve was still staring James.

**Sarah: Daddy!**

**S: I know. Well done, baby.**

Steve said dryly, without looking away from James.

**S: James you need to eat. You have been without food since you arrived. Eat, please.**

James looked at Steve, dropped his fork, and crossed his arms.

**S: James, I'm warning you...**

**Sarah: Look, Daddy, I'm eating! Everything!**

Sarah put another spoonful of food into her mouth, trying to avoid a fight between Steve and James, Steve didn’t even look at her. Sarah was upset now.

**S: If you're not going to eat or take a shower, then you can go to your room and stay there to the rest of the day.**

James got up and went to his bedroom, he slammed the door and Steve propped his elbow on the table, running his hand over his forehead.

Sarah stared at Steve and noticed he was sad in some kind of way.

**Sarah: Cut my steak, please?**

Steve looked at Sarah's plate, then he cut the steak for her, without even looking at her face. He returned the plate for Sarah in an angry way and Sarah didn’t eat, she didn’t understand his agressiviness towards her too if she was eating like he wanted James to do.

**S: It's already cut! Eat!**

Sarah didn’t say anything.

Steve took a deep breath.

**S: What?** **Are you not going to eat too?**

Sarah frowned and started to cry because Steve was being rude to her and she was just trying to help.

Steve took a deep breath.

**S: Sorry... I’m sorry, princess. Come here.**

Sarah remained in her place. Steve pulled her into his lap.

**S: Dad didn’t want to fight with you. Dad's just a little sad today.**

Sarah stopped crying and looked at Steve. She put her hand on his face and then grabbed Steve's fork, put food in it, and stuck it in Steve's mouth. Steve looked at her and smiled, eating the food.

**Sarah: You be better, daddy.**

**S: I will baby, thank you. Your turn now.**

Steve also fed Sarah. When they finished dinner, Sarah asked to see some TV and Steve allowed.

Steve was doing the dishes when the doorbell rang. Sarah looked at the door excitedly.

**Sarah: Is it my mamaaaa?**

James opened the bedroom door, also hopeful of being Natasha. Steve frowned, wondering about the hour. As much as he wanted it to be Natasha, it would be difficult.

Steve opened the door and it was Elisa.

**S: Elisa??**

**E: Hi! I'm sorry to show up like this.**

**J: What is she doing here?**

**S: James! Go to your room.**

James slammed the door.

**E: I just came to give your money back.**

**S: It didn’t have to be today, Elisa. You souldn’t have bother.**

**E: I couldn’t sleep with such a debt.**

Steve took the money and Elisa kept standing in the doorway, as if she was still expecting something, but Steve doesn’t understand these things.

**E: Well... I... I think I’m going now.**

**S: Thanks for bringing the money. Have a good night.**

Elisa smiled and nodded. Elisa left Steve's apartment and when she walked by the lobby of the building to leave, Natasha was arriving with her car, she parked in front of Steve's building and she watched Elisa leave the building at that hour.

 _Wow, so Steve is faster than I thought._ Natasha thought.

Natasha thought about going up to see the kids, but when she saw Elisa, she gave up.

Natasha thought that if Steve and Elisa are already getting closer, she won’t mess this up.

Natasha looked at the window of Steve's apartment and saw that the lights were still on. Natasha sighed and closed her eyes, then she made negative with her head, turned on the car, and drove away.


	38. Dealing with Reality

The moment Natasha stepped into her apartment after all these days that she was at Steve's home, she felt how empty her life was. But in fact, her life has always been this way and it's always been good this way, from what she can remember, but something seems wrong this time.

Natasha stood in the same place, staring at Nothing for almost five minutes. She closed the door and dropped her bag on the floor. Natasha went to the refrigerator, searching some alcohol to drink, and it had only milk, juice, and water in there.

Natasha rolled her eyes, remembering that when she did the shopping she only thought about feeding the children. Just as Natasha was about to close the refrigerator, she felt something slip over her foot. Natasha looked down and saw the intruder cat again. Natasha wanted to kick him, but she wasn’t going to hurt the cat that Sarah likes so much.

**N: I don’t want you here! Why don’t you understand that? Go away! Go!**

Natasha pointed to the window and noticed that it was closed.

**N: But how did you get in here this time? Shit!**

The kitten sat down and listened to Natasha complain about his presence, he let out a small meow at the end of Natasha's speech, which made her snort and roll her eyes.

**N: You hungry, huh... That’s sour problem. I'm not going to buy you some food.**

Natasha switched on the TV in the living room, she sat down on the couch, and the cat followed her.

Natasha raised her eyebrow at the cat.

**N: Great, I have a shadow now.**

Natasha leaned back on the couch and changed the channels trying to find something she liked. She didn’t find anything, she ended up watching a UFC fight and fell asleep half an hour later.

...

**S: Sarah, it's time for bed.**

**Sarah: My bottle.**

**S: Go to the bed that I already take there for you.**

Sarah got off the couch and went into the bedroom. She changed into her nightgown and laid on the bed. When Steve arrived in the room ten minutes later with the bottle, Sarah was already asleep. Steve covered her and turned off the bedroom light.

Steve looked at the door of James's room and approached.

**S: James?**

Steve didn’t hear TV noise or James.

**S: James are you awake? Son, you need to eat, please. James?**

Steve knocked on the door lightly and he spoke as calmly as possible, but James wasn’t responding.

Steve went into the kitchen, picked up some cookies and a glass of milk. Steve returned to the door of James's room and left the plate of cookies and milk on the floor near the door.

**S: I'll leave a snack here if you feel hungry, okay?**

Steve sighed in silence and went to his bedroom.

Steve left the door a little bit open and watched the hallway. Five minutes later, James opened the door and pulled the plate of cookies and the glass of milk into his room and closed the door.

Steve gave a small smile of satisfaction and went to bed, but it cost a lot for him to sleep, he was thinking about all the events of the past days and how the children are going to be without their nanny, how he was going to be without Natasha, how the Avengers will be without him.

...

Natasha felt something wetting her foot, which made her frow and tremble her eyebrow, trying to wake up. Then she felt ticklish and let out a low laugh.

But wait, who's wetting my foot and tickling me? Natasha thought and woke up, already sitting down and putting her hand on her pants in search of her gun, she looked down at her feet and saw the cat on the couch.

Natasha blushed with anger. This cat, motherfuc...

**N: You son of fucking bitch! I swear you're going to end up dead by me sometime! Go away!**

Natasha got up angrily and opened the window, she pointed out and the cat looked at her. He let out a meow and Natasha kept pointing outside.

**N: Get the fuck out! Jesus!**

Natasha sighed, took the cat in her arms and put him out, she noticed that some snowflakes were falling. The cat growled louder.

**N: You are very hairy, it’s on your nature to be selfprotected from the cold, Okay?  And don’t fuck look at me like that. I don’t care about you at all. The kids are not here!**

Natasha closed the window and lay back down on the couch. The cat remained standing in the window looking at Natasha. He was just there doing nothing, but Natasha gets annoyed knowing that someone is watching her.

Natasha sighed and closed her eyes tightly.

 _No. No. Nooo._ Natasha thought.

Natasha sat down again and looked at the window.

**N: If you think that you can touch me, you’re deceived.**

Natasha turned off the TV and went to her bedroom, where she could sleep peacefully without the cat watching her.

Natasha lay down on the mattress and she covered herself with a sheet. She tried to sleep, but she couldn’t anymore, it was very cold. Natasha pulled the duvet up over her body and felt better.

 _Now yes._ Natasha thought.

Natasha turned on the mattress trying to find a better sleeping position and was already irritated by not finding it, but at last she found a good position when she put the other pillow on top of hers. Natasha took a deep breath and felt good.

 _Something is wrong_. That scent made Natasha feel too good. Natasha turned her face to the pillow and pulled the air in full force, smelling the pillow better.

 _I know this smell from somewhere_. Natasha felt an enormous comfort feeling that smell, but that perfume is not hers, and if it’s not hers, it can only belong to the only person who slept on that mattress with her.

Natasha opened her eyes immediately, she sat up, took the pillow and flung it against the wall. _No!_ Natasha doesn’t want anything associated with Steve, it's not just him who has to forget her, she also has to forget him now.

Natasha tried to sleep once more, she dozed and came to have a little dream with Sarah and James... In the dream, Sarah and James were feeding the kitten and Sarah carried him up and down in her arms, but suddenly the cat seemed dead in Sarah's arms and she asked what was wrong with him, James was terrified screaming that the cat was dead and Natasha was watching without knowing how to act.

Natasha opened her eyes immediately and felt her heart racing.

**N: I can’t believe I had kids!**

Natasha got up and picked up the sheet.

**N: I can’t believe I'm doing this... Like I can’t believe it!**

Natasha scratched her head and went into the living room. She looked out the window and the cat was lying there covered by snow. Natasha rolled her eyes.

**N: I don’t care.**

Natasha went to the window and opened it. She took the cat that was completely frozen and wrapped him in the sheet. Natasha left him in the corner of the room near the heater.

**N: Just because it's snowing! Don’t get used to it! I don’t like animals and especially you.**

The cat let out a weak meow and went back to sleep.

Natasha went back to the bedroom and looked at the pillow lying on the floor. Natasha took the pillow back and sniffed it. Damn, that smell is good for her!

 _If no one knows about that, then there's no problem sleeping with it_. Natasha found herself lying down again, hugging the pillow with Steve's scent.

...

The next morning, Steve slept until nearly ten o'clock in the morning. He yawned and stood up feeling less worse than the day before. He has no other choice, he has two kids to raise.

Steve opened the bedroom door and noticed the silence coming from the children's bedrooms. He took advantage of the fact that they were still sleeping and went to take a shower.

As he came out from the shower, Steve looked at his cell phone hoping to have some missed call or message from Natasha, to even ask about the children. Today would be her day to stay with them, but he will not call her so it doesn’t look like he's suffocating her somehow.

Steve left the room and checked the door of James, it was unlocked. Steve opened it and saw him sleeping and the empty glass beside the bed. Steve also checked Sarah and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

Steve's cell phone rang and he soon thought it was Natasha, he ran up to his room and was disappointed that it was Tony Stark calling.

**_T: Dorito, are you on vacation?_ **

**_S: Good morning, Tony. I called and warned that I'm out of Nanny._ **

**_T: Did you miss that hot babysitter?_ **

**_S: Tony more respect please, her name is Cindy._ **

**_T: Well, did you get another one?_ **

**_S: No, it's not that simple._ **

**_T: I know, I know, you have to find someone who is trustworthy and that the children get along well, but let me tell you about a new project. You know JARVIS, right? You know he's been like a nanny to me for years._ **

**_S: What do you mean, Tony?_ **

**_T: I have a similar program that can take care of your children._ **

**_S: Do you want me to leave a computer to take care of my children?_ **

**_T: Not a computer, The computer. Or it could be JARVIS itself, we have several rooms, we reform one, we paint drawings on it like Peppa Pig or something and they will feel like in a nursery._ **

**_S: Tony..._ **

**_T: Wait! You have not even heard it all. JARVIS can interact with them, teach school lessons, tell stories, provide food..._ **

**_S: Tony..._ **

**_T: Diapers? JARVIS can’t change their diapers._ **

**_S: They do not wear diapers anymore, Tony. Thanks for what you're trying to do, but I need to take care of this first._ **

**_T: You know we need you. Alone here in charge, I ruin one thing every day. You know that rebellious teenage avenger?_ **

**_S: America Chavez?_ **

**_T: That’s her. So... We lost her._ **

**_S: How do we lost her? She just came in._ **

**_T: Well... I have no tact to deal with cadets like you._ **

**_S: But this is to be done by Sam or Clint._ **

**_T: They're out on a mission. You see, Papa Steve, your little children here need you too._ **

**_S: Tony, I'm sorry. If Natasha stays with them today, I'll go and try to come up with some questions, but I'll have to work from home and part time during the week._ **

**_T: What a housewife, you are! I always knew you were the woman in that relationship._ **

**_S: Tony!_ **

**Sarah: Daddy?**

**_S: Tony, I have to go. Sarah is awake now._ **

**_T: Okay, Daddy. We'll wait for you here._ **

Steve hung up the phone and ran his hand over Sarah's head.

**S: Good morning, baby.**

**Sarah: Bottle?**

**S: Your bottle is ready, princess.**

Steve took Sarah in his arms and led her into the kitchen, he handed her the bottle and James appeared in the hallway.

Steve looked at him.

**S: Good morning.**

James didn’t answer, he looked around, then looked at Steve.

**J: Is my mother coming today?**

**S: I don’t know, James.**

James threatened to return to his room, but Steve had an idea.

**S: James? I'll call her to come pick you, okay?**

James stopped at the door and stared at Steve.

**S: But you have to eat all your cereal first.**

Steve pulled the bowl of cereal and put it on the dinner table. He put Sarah in the chair and James approached the table, he sat down and began to eat the cereal.

Steve doesn’t promise what he can’t keep, but he can’t call Natasha now. So he decided to call Hill.

**_H: Agent Hill._ **

**_S: Hill, it's Steve._ **

**_H: I know, Rogers._ **

**_S: Can you get in touch with Natasha and ask if she's coming to see her kids today?_ **

**_H: Oh God, guys! Really? Do you need to get to that point where I have to be the mediator between you two?_ **

Hill noticed that Steve was embarrassed by the silence.

Hill sighed.

**_H: Alright._ **

Hill ended the call and then called Natasha who was slow to answer the phone.

**_N: Hill?_ **

**_H: Look, your ex-husband wants to know if you're going to see the kids today._ **

**_N: Huh?_ **

**_H: James and Sarah... The two little redheads that came out of_ ** **_your vag..._**

**_N: Hill! I understood! I want to see them but... You'll have to get them for me._ **

**_H: I’m not a delivery girl._ **

**_N: Please, Hill. I can’t meet Steve._ **

**_H: This is stupid, one hour you'll have to see each other. You work together._ **

**_N: I work for you._ **

**_H: Yeah, but with the Avengers too. Look, Natasha, just this time, Okay?_ **

**_N: I'd say I love you, but you would not believe it._ **

**_H: Not really._ **

**_N: Thank you._ **

Hill hung up the phone and headed for the car. She went to Steve's apartment building, and rang the doorbell.

**Sarah: AAA! MAMA! It's mama!**

James and Sarah looked at the door excitedly and anxious as Steve felt his whole body freeze.

Steve looked through the "magic eye" and saw that it was Hill, again a tip of disappointment appeared in his heart.

Steve opened the door.

**H: Good morning, are you guys ready?**

**Sarah: Maria.**

**J: I thought it was my mom.**

**H: But I came here to take you to her.**

**S: They just woke up.**

James dropped the spoon and was about to rush to get ready, but Steve stopped him.

**S: I said you would have to eat it all. Sarah you can go ready, since you already finished the bottle.**

**H: Baby bottle? How old is she?**

**S: Three.**

**H: She's too old for that.**

**S: She's young, she couldn’t breastfee for long because Natasha had her accident, so she has some shortcomings, even her doctor said it's normal she wants the bottle yet.**

**H: Well I don’t understand anything about children, but if you say so...**

**S: You will understand when you have yours.**

Hill laughed hysterically and stopped laughing when she noticed that Steve was serious without understanding the laughter.

**H: Oh my God, were you serious about that? Oh no, no, Rogers. I will never have these things.**

**S: You mean children.**

**H: Yeah. That. Stuff.**

Steve laughed and shook his head. James finished eating and stood up.

**S: Sarah showered yesterday, but you didn’t, you only go after you shower.**

**J: You said it was just cereal!**

**S: But I've changed my mind.**

James frowned and went to the bathroom. Hill checked the time on the clock.

**H: Rogers, I have a thousand appointments today.**

**S: I'll rush them. Sit down and get comfortable.**

**H: I'll wait right here, I'm in a hurry.**

Steve went to check on Sarah and she was already dressed, all she needed was the shoe and her hair. The only hairstyle that Steve can do in her is a ponytail, and Sarah hates it.

**Sarah: Oh noooo!**

**S: Do you want to go or not, Sarah?**

Sarah shrugged, and Steve sighed.

**S: Go like that and there you ask your mother to comb you, okay?**

Sarah nodded. Steve tidied up her backpack and led her into the living room. Sarah went up to Hill and hugged her legs. Hill stood with her arms crossed and looked down to see Sarah.

Hill raised her eyebrows and frowned.

**H: What's that?**

****

**S: A hug, Hill.**

**H: Oh... Right... Ok... Thanks... That’s enough, sweettie...**

Hill shoved Sarah with one finger, as if dreading her. Sarah started to laugh.

**Sarah: You're funny.**

**H: And you're small.**

**S: I'm going to check James.**

Steve rushed James out of the bathroom and asked him to dress quickly. James was in a good mood now, he got ready quickly.

**S: Do you have homework to do?**

**J: Yes.**

**S: So you gotta do it there.**

**J: But I don’t know how to do it alone**

**S: Your mother will help you. She's good with numbers.**

James left his room and went into the living room. Steve followed him and saw Sarah was singing a song and whirling around Hill.

**H: How do you turn her off?**

**S: Sarah, behave yourself, okay?**

**Sarah: Okay, Daddy.**

**S: Come give me a kiss.**

Sarah ran to Steve and jumped to hug him. Steve hugged her and kissed Sarah's forehead.

Steve looked at James.

**S: See you later, champ. Okay?**

James did not answer, he went to the door and opened it, waiting for Hill to come.

**S: I love you, James.**

**Sarah: And me, daddy?**

**S: I love you too, my baby. Go...**

**H: Yes, yes, let’s go.**

Hill left with difficulty because Sarah didn’t stop running around her legs, laughing a lot like it was the most fun thing in the world. James looked at Steve but didn’t nod, he left and closed the door.

Hill got down with James and Sarah by the elevator, she put them in the back seat of the car and went to the driver's. Hill started the car and started to drive to Natasha’s home.

James approached Hill's seat and stared at her. Hill looked sideways at James.

**H: What???**

**J: You're the police?**

**H: Police? Not exactly.**

**J: Oh... So, is this for real?**

Hill looked at what James had just picked up and braked the car abruptly, making the car from the back almost hit the back of her car.

Hill almost had a heart attack, she took her gun from James's hand.

**H: James, don’t you never, ever, ever... mess with anything in this car. Actually don’t touch anything, don’t move.**

**J: I'm sorry. So, is that real?**

**H: Well, yes. And don’t tell this to your parents. Never.**

Hill drove again, the car behind her passed in front of her, honking and screaming at her.

Hill lowered the glass of the car.

**H: Oh shut your mouth, cunt!**

**\- Learn how to drive, bitch.**

**H: I'll show you the bitch! Your son of a bitch.**

Sarah and James opened their mouths in shock. Hill closed the car window.

**Sarah: You said a bad word.**

**J: My father will not like it.**

**H: It's just a word. Doesn’t mean anything.**

**J: But Dad says it's ugly.**

**H: Ah, your father is full of morals. I've heard him speak dirty words.**

**Sarah: Momma talks all the time.**

**H: Yes, see? There is nothing wrong.**

**J: So I can talk bad words?**

**H: Why not? Which do you know?**

**J: Oh...**

**H: C’mon. Let it out.**

**J: Shit.**

James laughed and Sarah covered her mouth, looking at James.

**H: And you, Sarah? Do you know any?**

Sarah looked at Hill in the rearview mirror and she was thoughtful.

**J: She doesn’t know any, she's a baby.**

**Sarah: Yeah, I know!**

Sarah frowned.

**J: No, you don’t.**

**Sarah: I know! Look! Fuck, shit, son of a bitch, damn, cunt and there’s what mommy says to daddy, it’s fuck off or fuck you!!!**

**H: OH MY GOD, Sarah!**

Hill and James were shocked.

Hill started to laugh.

**H: Look, let's agree that I didn’t teach this to you, okay?**

**J: We hear Mom say that.**

**H: I knew it! You can blame your mother.**

**Sarah: Auntie Maria?**

**H: Auntie? My name is Maria Hill. You can call me Maria or Hill.**

**Sarah: Maria, can you sing?**

**H: No, I can not sing.**

**Sarah: So let's play guessing?**

**H: Let’s not.**

**Sarah: Can we do something?**

**H: No.**

****

**Sarah: But... Here is boring, let's play something!**

**H: How about playing silence?**

**J: Silence?**

**H: Yes.**

**Sarah: How is that game?**

**H: Oh it’s like... Let's see who can stay longer without talking.**

James and Sarah frowned in confusion.

**H: Ready? Go!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want Hill to babysit me haha


	39. James' Choice

Hill rang Natasha's bell and waited for her to answer. Then Hill remembered that the doorbell doesn’t work, she rolled her eyes and knocked on the door.

**N: I'm coming!**

Natasha left the bathroom brushing her teeth, she went to the living room, and opened the door for Hill.

Natasha looked at James and Sarah, pushing each other to come in and hug her, all in silence.

Natasha frowned and watched them both run to the couch and sit still.

Natasha looked at Maria Hill.

**N: What did you do with them?**

**H: Hm, it’s a game.**

**J: YOU LOST!**

**Sarah: You lost! You lost!**

Natasha looked at the two confused. Hill rolled her eyes.

**H: Silence game, it works. You should use with them Always.**

**Sarah: Mama, can Maria stay with us?**

**H: No.**

**N: If she wants to...**

**H: I don’t.**

**N: Oh come on, Hill, they like you.**

Natasha smirked sarcastically.

**J: Yeah! Stay, Maria!!**

**H: Nope! I'm going, delivery done. Don’t call me anymore.**

Natasha laughed and closed the door. Natasha looked at James and Sarah and gestured for the two of them to wait. Natasha went into the bathroom to rinse her mouth and heard Sarah scream. Natasha came back into the living room and saw Sarah clutching the kitten and he licking her face.

**Sarah: Kitty!!!**

**J: Is he yours now, Mom?**

**N: No.**

**J: But he has even a bed now.**

**N: Just a sheet because it was cold.**

**Sarah: I love you so much, kitten.**

**N: Love? You only saw him once.**

**Sarah: I love him! I love, I love, I love him too much.**

**J: Let him stay, Mom.**

**N: Even if I don’t let him, he comes in here anyway. But I won’t take care of him and I won’t spend a penny with him also.**

**J: We will take care of him! Can we stay with him then?**

Natasha nodded. James jumped and ran to Natasha hugging her waist. James went back to Sarah and stroked the cat's head.

**N: James?**

**J: Yes?**

**N: How is your father?**

James shrugged, indicating he didn’t know. Sarah looked at Natasha.

**Sarah: Daddy is sad. I don’t like it when Daddy is sad.**

Natasha frowned.

**N: Why is he sad?**

**Sarah: I think he wanted you there.**

**J: I want you there too.**

**N: That's it? I’ve been gone a while, it can’t be about me anymore...**

**Sarah: Well... He's sad with James too.**

**J: Liar!**

**Sarah: I’m... I’m telling the truth! James was a bad boy, he was mean to daddy.**

**N: Oh yeah?**

**J: She’s lying.**

**Sarah: I’m not.**

**J: Liar!**

**Sarah: You liar! Bad Jamie!**

**N: Hey, hey, you don’t need to fight. James, what you did?**

**J: I was upset.**

**N: Upset... With me?**

James didn’t want to confirm, so he was silent.

 **N: I'm the one who left, James, it's not fair for you to be angry with** **your father for this.**

**J: Then why did you leave?**

**N: James, we've already talked about this...**

**J: You seemed happy when you were there. Does dad make you sad? He made you go away, didn’t he?**

**N: No, James. Oh my God... Listen, your dad didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t want you to blame him for anything, he loves you too much and you're going to hurt him. Is that what you want?**

James bowed his head and shook his head.

**N: Good. So, I thought we could do something really fun today.**

**J: What?**

**N: Ice skating.**

James's eyes widened and he smiled.

**J: Yes! Let’s go!**

**Sarah: We're going out, kitty.**

**N: No, the cat can’t go.**

Sarah frowned.

**Sarah: But the kitten is going to be alone and sad.**

**N: He always stays, he's a cat, Sarah. He is used to it.**

Sarah frowned even more. Natasha watched her hair all disheveled.

**N: Wow, Sarah. What happened to your hair?**

**Sarah: Daddy told you would fix it.**

**N: Well, it seems pretty messy. You'll have to wash first. Come on, let’s give you a treat.**

Natasha held out her hand to Sarah, who left the cat with James.

Natasha helped Sarah to wash and comb her hair while she was still with conditioner in her head.

**Sarah: I wish I had hair like yours.**

**N: But yours is a thousand times cuter then mine, I love your curls.**

**Sarah: I don’t really like it.**

**N: Do you want to see how yours looks straight?**

Sarah looked at Natasha excitedly.

**Sarah: Can I?**

**N: Yeah. Of course.**

Natasha dried Sarah's hair with a hair dryer and used a brush to straight her strands.

At the end, Sarah's hair wasn’t completely straight, but it wasn’t so curly, Natasha showed the mirror to Sarah and she didn’t know if she liked or not.

**N: Natural was prettier, don’t you think?**

Sarah nodded.

**N: Well, now we have to go like this, when we get home we wash again and your curls will come back.**

Natasha came back into the living room, she called James, and the three of them went out to the mall near Natasha's apartment.

When they arrived at the mall, the three walked by an ice cream stand. Sarah pulled Natasha's hand toward the stand.

**Sarah: Icyyyy cream! Mamma!**

Natasha approached the stand and ordered three ice cream and let the children choose the flavor they wanted, and the three of them chose chocolate.

**J: That's my favorite.**

**Sarah: Mine too.**

**N: Mine too.**

James and Sarah smiled and Natasha smiled back as well. Sarah got all messed up with ice cream, because she's slow to eat. Natasha had to sit in the food court to help Sarah eat the ice cream.

**N: You can’t just be licking what flows, you have to suck all the ice cream. Look how James is doing.**

Sarah looked at James and tried to imitate.

**N: Yes, that way. See? You're smart.**

Sarah smiled.

After finishing the ice cream, the three of them walked to the ice skating rink. Natasha asked for the skates and protective gear for James and Sarah.

**N: Have you ever skated?**

**J: Yes, with you and Daddy.**

**Sarah: I never.**

**N: With me?**

**J: Yeah... When we were all together...**

James lowered his head, fading his smile. Natasha frowned.

**N: Hey! Smile... I'm glad we're going to do this now, together... Right?**

**Sarah: Yeah, but I wanted daddy here.**

**J: Me too.**

**N: Well, I can take you guys back to him...**

**J: No! Let's skate!**

Natasha was only joking to make them smile and forget about Steve.

Natasha stepped into the ring with the kids and James started to skate quickly around the rink.

Natasha grabbed Sarah's two little hands and helped her into the rink. Sarah slipped and Natasha stopped her from falling.

Sarah made a face of despair that made Natasha laugh.

**N: Calm down, I'm here. You’re fine.**

**Sarah: I don’t want any more.**

**N: But you didn’t even try.**

**Sarah: I don’t want to.**

**N: Why? Are you scared?**

**Sarah: Yeah.**

**N: You don’t have to be. I prevented you from falling now and I'll hold you all the time. I won’t let you fall.**

Sarah sighed and was still suspicious.

**N: Look at these knee pads, elbow pads, gloves and helmet... Do you know why you’re using all this stuff?**

Sarah made negative with her head.

**N: So you don’t get hurt when you fall.**

**Sarah: But my ass will hurt on this icy.**

Natasha laughed.

**N: It won’t. I promise. Andy ou should say butt, Okay?**

James approached the two of them, shouting excitedly.

**J: Come on, Sarah!**

James distracted himself and bumped into another child and they both fell to the floor.

James looked at Natasha, who looked at him as if it was not a big deal, and it wasn’t. Natasha pointed upward, motioning for him to get up.

James looked at the girl he had run into and they both laughed, they got up and went back to skate.

Natasha looked at Sarah.

**N: See? Doesn’t hurt. Trust me. OK?**

Sarah nodded. Natasha stood in front of Sarah, skidding slowly back to help Sarah, who threatened to fall all the time. After about four laps, Sarah got used to ir and Natasha started to skate by her side, holding only one hand of hers.

Sarah saw the other children running alone and she wanted to play with them, she pulled her hand, trying to let go of Natasha’s hand.

**Sarah: I'm going alone.**

**N: Really? OK.**

Sarah took a few steps on her own to make sure she could, and then she skated along the ends of the rink where she could hold onto the bars if she lost her balance.

Natasha took the opportunity to go faster and reach James.

Natasha overtook James.

**N: On your left!**

James smiled and struggled to reach Natasha.

**J: Mom!**

Natasha skidded very fast until she was able to do a little pirouette in the air and turn her body, one foot only resting on the ground. She finished the act, sliding on her back and watching James's reaction. He was speechles and amazed, just like other kids who were around.

**J: Mom! How did you do that? I was amazing.**

**\- She looked like a ballerina!**

Another child said.

**N: I learned practicing in Russia.**

Said Natasha still skating on her back, smiling at James who skated fast, but not enough. James reached out to hold Natasha and she slowed down, holding James's hand. She pulled him through the ice and James was overjoyed.

Sarah was fine until she saw Natasha giving James a lot of attention. She tried to pull away from the bars and ended up slipping and falling on the ice. It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t matter to Sarah, she screamed and cried anyway.

Natasha saw her on the floor and ignored her.

**J: Mom, Sarah fell.**

James pointed at Sarah.

**N: I know.**

James stared at Natasha without understanding. Sarah turned around looking for Natasha and stopped crying, but as soon as she saw Natasha, she cried again.

**N: See? It’s nothing.**

One of the instructors went to Sarah and got her to her feet.

**\- Are you all right?**

Sarah wiped away her tears and nodded, grunting. She crossed her arms and stared at Natasha with James, her eyes filled with tears.

Well, Natasha is tough and likes to teach her kids to not to be sneaky. She doesn’t soften easily, but seeing Sarah in that state, alone in the middle of the ring with her watery little eyes left her heartbroken.

Natasha skidded to Sarah and crouched next to her.

**N: Did you get hurt?**

Sarah nodded.

**N: Where? Show me.**

Sarah pointed to her knee, but she didn’t fall on her knees. Natasha kissed her knee anyway.

**N: Are you feeling better now?**

Sarah nodded. Natasha doesn’t know why but she hugged and kissed Sarah's face. Natasha got up and took her hand and James' hand. James reached out to Sarah and the three of them played with their skates.

After the skating, Natasha took them to eat at McDonald's and even let each of them pick a toy to buy and take home.

When they left the mall, only James was awake in the back seat of the car.

James looked at Natasha in the rearview mirror and he was silent. Natasha noticed and looked at him too.

**N: What?**

**J: It was very fun today, mom.**

Natasha gave a small smile and nodded.

**N: Yeah...**

Natasha was a bit thoughtful.

**N: It was fun indeed.**

**J: I wish my dad had seen us.**

Natasha smiled and sighed.

**N: I know.**

Natasha parked the car in front of her building. James ran to the entrance of the building, while Natasha took Sarah in her lap. The three went upstairs to Natasha's floor and as soon as they entered home, James started to look for the cat.

Natasha took Sarah to her room and laid her on the mattress.

...

Steve was at the base of the Avengers, resolving the issues that Tony couldn’t solve in his absence. Actually Tony didn’t even try to solve.

There is a paperwork that needs to be filled out that Tony has no patience to do it, he wants everything computerized and Steve likes to keep a physical file for safety.

**S: Tony, I did the best I could today. The rest I'm taking home.**

**T: No problem, Dorito.**

**S: I'm just going to need a ride, because I came with my bike and I  can’t carry everything in tehre.**

**T: All right. I'll take you.**

Tony gave Steve a ride and helped him carry the files to his apartment.

**T: Where are the brats?**

**S: They're with Nat and don’t call them that.**

**T: Oh yeah, you said that. And how are you doing?**

Steve shrugged.

**T: Do you know what we should do? We should go out, you and me. Drink somewhere, play a pool. We can call Sam and Barton...**

**S: No, Tony, I’m not in the mood for that.**

**T: C’mon, Steve. You need to get your head out of this thing, this love about Natasha. Staying at home will not help you at all. I'm trying to help you.**

**S: I know that, Tony. I appreciate it.**

**T: Well, at least let me buy you a dinner.**

Steve raised an eyebrow.

**S: Are you going to buy flowers for me too?**

**T: There you go! Making jokes. Finally some good humor. Do you know a good place to eat? I'm in the mood for a hamburger.**

**S: Actually I know a place for that.**

Steve took the keys and left the apartment, accompanied by Tony. Steve guided Tony to Elisa's diner. The two of them came in and Tony lowered his sunglasses a little, judging the place.

**T: Well it’s not what i had in mind but I think it will do.**

Steve and Tony sat at Steve's favorite table.

A waiter approached and Steve looked at him and then at the rest of the diner, he was surprised that Elisa didn’t come to meet him.

**\- Good night, gentleman.**

The waiter handed over the menus. Tony and Steve started to look at it.

**\- I'll be back to take your orders.**

**T: What do you usually eat here, Dorito?**

**S: I really like the natural chicken sandwich and the turkey breast sandwich.**

Tony grimaced.

**T: Groos!**

The waiter approached a few minutes later.

**\- Have you decided?**

Elisa walked into the diner, without the waitress's uniform, the manager has already come to her to fight over the delay. Elisa apologized several times. Tony lowered his glasses again, checking on Elisa, and Steve turned to see what was happening.

Elisa's boss threw the apron at her. Elisa took the apron and when she walked to go to the kitchen, she came across with Steve’s table. First she was embarrassed that he had witnessed this, then she smiled at him.

**S: I was missing you around. I got here and you weren’t.**

Steve smiled.

**E: I had a little problem.**

**S: What kind of problem?**

Steve frowned, worried.

**E: Oh...**

Elisa sighed.

**E: Nothing importante, really... An ex who doesn’t know how to listen a no.**

**S: If you need help with that...**

**E: No... No... It's Okay, really.**

Elisa smiled uncomfortably. Tony was still staring at her, but after he noticed the conversation between them, he stared into Steve's face and into Elisa's face, analyzing them both.

**E: Jake, I make a point of attending them. You can leave that with me.**

**\- Feel free.**

The waiter went away.

**E: Just a minute.**

Steve nodded and smiled.

Elisa went into the kitchen, dressed in her uniform.

When Steve turned his attention to Tony, Tony was eyeing him with raised eyebrows.

**S: What?**

**T: You flirting.**

**S: WHAT???**

**T: Steve, please ...**

**S: You're crazy. She's a friend.**

**T: A friend? I've never heard you talk about her.**

**S: Not exactly a friend, I always come here with the kids. This flirtation does not exist.**

**T: But she's totally into you and let me tell you, she's cute. Really cute.**

**S: Tony...**

**T: Seriously, if you don’t hit that, I will.**

**S: She's not like the women you went out.**

**T: See? You're defensive.**

**S: No. I just know that Elisa is a nice girl, she deserves someone who treats her with respect...**

Elisa returned to their table smiling and with her notebook.

**E: Have you decided?**

**T: Yes. How much does it cost your boss to release you to go out with me today? I can take you to Paris, tonight... Rome, maybe? You choose.**

Steve frowned and looked at Tony. Elisa was embarrassed and smiled to be kind.

**E: Very kind, Mr. Stark, but I'm not available. At least, not for you.**

Elisa looked at Steve.

**E: I'm waiting for the right guy.**

Steve for the first time felt that Elisa was flirting with him, Steve never imagined anything with Elisa, he was very embarrassed now.

**T: Well, in that case, bring me that hamburger here and whip up the bacon and cheddar.**

**E: You got it. What about you, Steve? The usual?**

Steve nodded. Elisa left to prepare their requests.

Tony started to laugh alone.

**S: What???**

**T: Dude, she's so into you that if you call her to go to the motel right now, she would.**

**S: Tony...**

**T: I'm just warning you, but if you'd rather stay at home, just masturbating alone thinking about the redhead...**

**S: TONY!**

**T: All right!**

Steve and Tony ate and then Tony left Steve at home again, then Tony went to his house.

Steve looked at the time and it was time to get the kids. Steve came downstairs and got into the car.

...

Natasha was in the living room, helping James with his homework. Sarah woke up and came to the living room looking for Natasha.

**N: Hey, sleepyhead.**

Sarah was scratching her eyes and yawning, she walked over to Natasha and sat on her lap. As Natasha explained math for James, she braided Sarah's hair.

The doorman in Natasha's building intercepted her apartment. Natasha stood up, leaving Sarah sitting on the floor. Natasha answered and the doorman reported that Steve was going up to pick up the children.

**N: Your father has arrived.**

**Sarah: Yaaay!**

**J: Mom?**

**N: Yes? Sarah, go pack your things.**

**J: Mom?**

**N: Say it James.**

Natasha asked James to talk what he wanted, while she closed James' notebooks and put them in his backpack.

The bell rang and Natasha got up.

**J: Mom?**

**N: Sarah! Come on!**

**Sarah: I'm here.**

Sarah came to the living room running.

**N: James, what is it?**

Natasha paused with James' backpack in her hand, watching him.

**J: I want to stay here with you.**

Natasha frowned, surprised at the phrase.

**N: What?**

Sarah went to the door and tried to open it. Natasha went to the door and opened it.

Sarah jumped to Steve's lap.

**Sarah: Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! We have a cat, his name is Kitty, we went to the mall, we went on skates, we had ice cream, we bought a toy! James called me Liar!**

Sarah babbled, but Steve barely heard anything she said, he was now looking at Natasha and she was looking back at him.

James approached the door and looked at Natasha and then at his father.

Natasha and Steve didn’t know how to act, Natasha didn’t want to see him now, but they were destined to always see each other.

Natasha's heart froze and then crashed, searching for something to be said, a hello, a good night, a how are you... Anything, but Nothing was coming to her mouth. Natasha didn’t have to think too much because Steve provided the first speech, but it wasn’t for her.

Steve looked at James.

**S: Let's go?**

James reached out to Natasha and hold her hand.

Natasha looked at James, confused.

Steve looked at Natasha and then at James.

**S: James, come on.**

**J: I'm staying with my mom.**

**N: Wait... W-what? What?**

**S: James, I’m not joking. Let's go.**

**J: I won’t go. I will live with my mom.**

****

Natasha was taken by surprise, just like Steve. Natasha didn’t even know how to act, it even seemed that she had influenced something by the way James spoke.

Natasha crouched down and looked at James.

**N: James, you know you can’t live here.**

**J: Why?**

Natasha sisghed and took a few seconds to find words to explain to him.

**N: James here is no place for kids, here you don’t have a nice room like you have in your dad's house. Not even a bed...**

**J: I can sleep on the couch again.**

**N: James...**

**S: James. Let's talk about this at home. Come on.**

**J: I’m not going!!! Mom, please.**

Natasha glanced briefly at Steve and looked back at James.

Natasha sighed.

**J: You don’t want me anymore, Mom? Why don’t you want us any more?**

**N: James! It’s not that. I... I'll always see you.**

**J: Only on the weekends.**

James said discouraged.

**N: I promise I'll see you during the week. I’ll see you more often.**

**J: It's not the same thing!**

**N: James, you can’t stay here. You have class tomorrow.**

**J: Then you take me to school!**

**N: James... What about your father? He'll miss you.**

**J: But I also miss you.**

**N: James...**

Natasha sighed once more.

**S: James, I don’t like this behavior. You can’t live here.**

**J: You stay with Sarah!**

**S: No, son. I can’t stay without you.**

Steve looked at Natasha quickly, but it wasn’t a friendly look. Natasha could see that Steve was very hurt with James’ request.

**N: How about I let you two sleep here tonight this time?**

**S: They have class tomorrow.**

**N: I know... I'll take them to school. I live closer.**

Steve took a deep breath and his face was still serious.

**S: So you want to stay, James?**

James nodded.

Steve looked at Natasha again, this time accusingly. It's like she's stealing everything from him, his heart and even his son. She can’t do that. She can’t take everything that is his.

Sarah laid her head on Steve's shoulder.

Sarah: I'm staying with my daddy.

Steve stroked Sarah's back and Natasha could see he was struggling to not cry.

Steve looked again at James and said before going...

**S: See you tomorrow, then.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh James you broke your dad's heart


	40. What Happened to Sarah?

In the car on the way home, Steve drove silently and seriously. Sarah looked at Steve in the rearview mirror.

**Sarah: Daddy?**

Steve was too upset, not with Sarah, but with James and Natasha. He ignored her because he was not patient at the moment.

**Sarah: Daddy?**

Sarah understood Steve's silence, she looked down and remained quiet, even when they arrived at home. By then Sarah had fallen asleep. Steve just laid Sarah on her bed and went to the hallway.

Steve looked at James' room and he was feeling uncomfortable for James saying that he wants to stay with Natasha, after he been taking care of him for all this time.

Steve sighed and went into his bedroom.

During the night Sarah woke up and called for Steve. Steve woke up and looked at the hour. It was too early for Sarah to wake up and he still does not have the mood to deal with her now. Steve decided to ignore her, even though Sarah started crying.

Steve knows that Sarah doesn’t leave her room at night alone because she is afraid of the dark. Steve waited a few more minutes and Sarah stopped crying, then Steve closed his eyes and slept again.

In the morning when Steve woke up, he was already feeling better. Especially because he came to the conclusion that James would only spend one night more with Natasha, he would be back today and be with him for the resto of the week.

Steve got up and looked down the hall, the silence indicating that Sarah was still asleep. Steve decided to take a shower before he woke her to school.

As soon as he got out of the shower and got dressed, Steve knocked on Sarah's bedroom door and opened the door.

**S: Sarah? Baby, let's wake up? It's school time.**

Steve went to the kitchen and made Sarah's breakfast and bottle. As he set the breakfast on the table, he looked down the hall and heard no movement from Sarah. Steve went back to the bedroom and saw that Sarah hadn’t even moved.

**S: Sarah? We have to go to school, come on, princess.**

Steve walked in and approached the bed.

**S: Sarah?**

Steve looked over at the other side of the bed and noticed that the floor was filled with vomit, Steve's heart sped up.

**S: Sarah??**

****

Steve saw that she didn’t move, he leaned against her forehead and Sarah was with high fever.

**S: Sarah? Sarah? Talk to me, baby. Sarah?**

Steve shook her lightly and Sarah was sweating but with no reaction at all. Steve was desperate and feeling very sorry for ignoring her calls at night.

Steve ran into the bedroom, took his wallet, his cell phone and his jacket, took Sarah in his arms and went to the elevator.

When Steve arrived at the first floor carrying Sarah, some neighbors noticed Steve was very worried and Sarah's seemed to be faited. The porter came running.

**\- What is it, Mr. Rogers? What happened?**

**S: She doesn’t wake up, she's with a high fever.**

A neighbor approached and touched Sarah's forehead.

**\- Poor thing, she's too hot.**

**S: And she vomited and I didn’t hear her...**

**\- You want me to call an ambulance?**

**S: No time, I'm going straight to the hospital.**

The neighbor called her husband who was outside and he came running.

**\- Daniel, Please take Mr. Rogers to the hospital, Little Sarah is sick.**

**S: No need, I'm with my car.**

**\- Look, you're too nervous to drive, Mr. Rogers. Our car is already out on the street, I'll drive you. Let's go.**

**S: Thank you.**

Steve and his neighbor got in the car and rushed to the hospital as quickly as possible. Steve still tried to wake Sarah on the way, but she didn’t react.

As soon as they entered the emergency, the nurses placed her on the stretcher and carried her into the room. Steve followed them and didn’t even say goodbye to his neighbor. The doctor approached them.

**\- I'm Dr. Oliver. What happened here?**

Said the doctor taking the stethoscope to hear Sarah's breathing and heartbeat.

**S: D-doctor, she called me at night and... and I... I didn’t check her. I'm sorry. I’m so sorry.**

**\- That doesn’t help now, what did she have?**

**S: I don’t even know, she was like that when I Wake up. I found the room vomited and she had a fever. And she does not wake up. Why?**

The doctor checked Sarah's temperature.

**\- 42º fever. She may convulse. Let's medicate her right now. I need you to wait outside.**

**S: I'm not going anywhere.**

A nurse took Steve's arm.

**\- Sir, follow me.**

**S: No! I'll stay with her!**

The doctor gestured for the nurse to let Steve stay. They applied an injection to Sarah and then attached a tube to her arm, connecting it to the serum.

**S: What is this?**

**\- Dipirone. To lower the fever. She will be observed for us for now.**

**S: What does she have?**

**\- I don’t know yet.**

**S: How you don’t know ???**

**\- We only know about the fever and vomit. I'll make some exams to check for flu or some infection.**

**S: But will she be okay?**

**\- Sir, it is probable that you have to be calm for her. Let's wait for the results.**

Steve looked at Sarah and now he was crying everything he hadn’t cried yet. He put his hands on his head and crouched, feeling lost.

The doctor leaned against his shoulder, he didn’t understand Steve’s reaction to this fever, sinceshe is already being medicated, but the doctor also doesn’t know that Steve is suffering for a lot of things, Natasha, his son, his job, now Sarah... It’s a lot to process.

**\- It's no use to be that way right now... See, children are delicate, you did right by bringing her here.**

**S: It could have been too late.**

**\- But it was not. I need to go and proceed her exams, but while that it would be good to warn her mother.**

Steve nodded. The doctor withdrew.

Steve walked over to Sarah's stretcher and hold her hand.

**S: I'm sorry, Sarah.**

****

Steve kissed Sarah's hand and didn’t call Natasha, he called Hill and explained what had happened. Hill said she was going to contact Natasha immediately.

...

Natasha had just left James at school when her cell phone rang.

Natasha answered the call and Hill explained what happened.

_**N: Which hospital?** _

_**** _

_**H: St. Mary.** _

_**N: I'm on my way.** _

Natasha felt her heart clench, she didn’t even know what had happened to Sarah, but sh eis totally scared with the possibility of Sarah being hurt or sick. She'd never felt it before, she drove as fast as she could, and dropped the car on the sidewalk. A guard approached.

**\- Ma’am?**

Natasha ignored the guard.

**\- I’m sorry, ma’am? You can’t leave the car here.**

**N: It's fine. Just send the fine.**

Natasha walked by the guard and ran into the hospital. She went to the front desk.

**N: Sarah Rogers?**

**\- She's in the emergency room.**

Natasha turned to go there. The receptionist stood up.

**\- Ma’am? There is already someone there, you have to wait. Ma’am?**

Natasha ignored her and kept walking until she reached the emergency room. As soon as she stepped in she found Steve in front of the stretcher, he looked at her and Natasha approached the stretcher. She looked at Sarah and saw a nurse collecting her blood.

**N: What is it?**

**\- Collecting blood for exams.**

Natasha put her hand on Sarah's forehead and felt it warm. She looked over her shoulder at Steve.

**N: She has a fever.**

**S: Yes. They medicated her and it's gradually lowering.**

**N: What happened?**

Steve raised his hands in the air and shook his head.

**S: She vomited and when I went to check she didn’t wake up.**

**N: She still hasn’t Wake up?**

**S: No...**

Natasha sighed and looked at Sarah again. Natasha slid her hand down to her arm.

**N: She's so little and so fragile...**

**S: I know. I'm so sorry.**

**N: Why do you feel sorry about?**

Natasha looked at Steve, confused, she frowned.

**S: Sh-she... She called me at night, and... I just... I didn’t get up to see her, I just ignored her calls.**

**N: Why??**

**S: I was upset.**

Natasha frowned even more and stared at Steve in shock.

**N: With me? Because of James spending one more night with me??**

Steve was silent and Natasha gave Steve a disapproving look.

**N: Did you ignore her, feeling sick and vomiting, just because you were angry with me????**

Natasha was about to murder Steve.

**S: No, I... I didn’t know she was feeling bad.**

**N: What kind of dad does that??? What the fuck is wrong with you??**

****

Steve sobered and took a deep breath.

**S: I didn’t know she was sick!**

**N: You didn’t know because you didn’t check her! All because you were with a fucking heartbroken? Jesus!**

**S: At least I was there for her! We can’t say the same about you. You were never there for her or for James. Were you?**

Natasha took a deep breath. Her forehead was wrinkled and her vein in her neck jumped with anger.

**N: How dare you??? I was in fucking coma!**

**S: Exactly, and when you woke up, you didn’t even want to stay with them.**

**N: B-because I didn’t know them, I didn’t remember about them, I lost my fucking memory, I... I didn’t feel anything.**

**S: You barely see them and now you feel like you have the right to judge me as a parent?**

**N: You know I don’t remember anything, how did you want me to react by waking up and discovering that I'm married and have two kids???**

A nurse approached Steve and Natasha because they were both screaming and there were other patients in the room.

**\- I need you to leave.**

**S: I'm not going anywhere.**

**\- You can’t fight here. Think of your daughter. She may be hearing all this.**

Steve would argue, but he realized that it was true, Sarah could be listening to them arguing like that. Steve immediately felt bad. He looked at Sarah and left the room.

Natasha stood still a few more seconds and left the room.

Steve sat in the waiting chair outside the room. Natasha leaned against the wall facing the emergency room door. Steve shook his head, thinking to himself of the acusations he made, he wasn’t supposed to have said those things, but he was defensive because Natasha was accusing him of negligence.

Steve stared at the ground, but turned to Natasha.

**S: What about James?**

**N: I left him at school.**

A silence followed. The two acting awkwardly, and they both knowing that they had made mistakes with what they said to each other, and none of them would apologize, because the pride was too big for that.

Natasha started the conversation because Steve was in a deplorable state.

**N: He called for you.**

Steve looked at Natasha.

**N: James...**

Natasha nodded.

**N: At night, he woke up and called for you.**

Steve looked away again, Natasha approached slowly and sat down next to him.

Natasha sighed, staring at the floor as well.

**N: He loves you too much, Steve. He just... He misses me, because I’m her mother. It doesn’t mean that he loves me more than he loves you. As you said yourself before, you've always been here for them, I have not.**

Steve looked at Natasha and felt a hint of remorse, now that admited that.

**S: I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.**

**N: It's okay. It’s true. I exaggerated because I was worried about Sarah.**

Natasha made negative with her head.

**S: It's good to see you like this.**

Natasha now met his eyes.

**S: Worried, caring about them.**

**N: I care about you too.**

Steve looked away for a few seconds and looked at Natasha again.

**S: I just hope she's okay.**

**N: She is as strong as her father.**

Steve gave a small and sad smile. Steve sighed.

After two hours of waiting, the doctor appeared at the door, Steve and Natasha got up immediately and approached the doctor.

**\- Her condition is steady. We were able to reduce the fever.**

**N: What does she have?**

**\- It's just a simple flu.**

**S: Will she be okay?**

**\- Yes. You can take her home now. I'm going to prescribe medicine but it’s only if the fever comes back, she needs to drink plenty of water and rest a bit.**

**S: She's very agitated, she won’t want to be laid on bed.**

**\- That's where the parents enters in action. You both can come in, she's already awake.**

Steve thanked the doctor and walked with Natasha into the emergency room.

Sarah looked very pale and looked at her parents. Steve came running up, he kissed Sarah's forehead and took her hand.

**S: She's still warm.**

Natasha touched Sarah's forehead and it really was still warm.

**N: I'll call the doctor.**

**Sarah: Mamma?**

Sarah coughed and called out to Natasha in a very weak and tearful voice. Natasha stopped and looked at Sarah.

Sarah: Stay here with me, please

**N: I would just...**

Natasha sighed and walked back to Sarah's stretcher, she sat on the edge of the stretcher, looking at her.

**S: How do you feel, baby?**

**Sarah: I’m tired. I want to go home.**

**S: Yeah, you're sick. But the doctor said you're going to be all right.**

**Sarah: Did they give me an injection?**

Steve shook his head.

**S: No. I didn’t let them.**

Sarah seemed relieved at the lie Steve told her. Natasha just watched.

A nurse walked past them and Natasha called him, warning that Sarah was still warm. The nurse checked her temperature and Sarah was 38° fever.

**\- I'll get the doctor.**

Steve and Natasha looked at each other worriedly. Sarah began to cough.

Sarah: I want to go home.

**S: We are going soon, my love. The doctor will just check you. Are you feeling anything?**

**Sarah: My head hurts.**

Steve caressed Sarah's forehead.

**S: It will pass, princess.**

The doctor approached.

**\- The flu is still present in her, and the fever has returned.**

**N: But so fast like that?**

**\- It's unpredictable. I'm going to give her one more dose of medicine.**

The nurse approached with a syringe, Sarah looked desperate at the syringe. Sarah tried to get up. Natasha laid her hand on Sarah's forehead and made her lie down and looked into her eyes.

**N: Sh... Calm down, this is not for you.**

**Sarah: No?**

Natasha shook her head, Steve watched Natasha.

 **N: No. He's going to give the injection in this tube that is attached to** **your arm.**

**Sarah: What for?**

Natasha shrugged.

**N: I don’t know, it’s a doctor thing. But it won’t hurt you, I promise. Trust me?**

Sarah looked at Steve, then back at Natasha and nodded. The nurse applied the medication to the tube attached to Sarah's vein and moved away.

The doctor handed Steve a prescription.

**\- Don’t worry. Here is the prescription for medicines. If she has a fever again, a cold bath and dipyrone will lower the fever, but I believe she will no longer have a fever. This antibiotic I prescribed is very good.**

**S: So we can go?**

**\- Yes.**

The doctor removed the tube from Sarah's arm. Steve caught her in the lap and Sarah laid her head on Steve's shoulder. Natasha escorted them to the exit.

**S: I'll call a cab.**

**N: Didn’t you come by car?**

**S: No, a neighbor brought me.**

**N: My car is on the other sidewalk. I'll take you guys.**

Steve and Natasha crossed the street. Natasha saw the fine on the car's glass, kneaded it and threw it away. Steve put Sarah in the backseat and sat next to Natasha.

Natasha took Steve to his building. When Steve went to get Sarah she woke up and looked at Natasha.

Sarah held out her hand.

**Sarah: Mama.**

Sarah was still weak, could barely keep her eyes open. Natasha was feeling very bad to see her like this.

**Sarah: Mama... Stay with me, mama.**

**S: She's going to sleep again, don’t worry.**

Steve closed the car door and turned to enter the building. Natasha sighed, turned off the car, and stepped out of it. Steve turned and saw Natasha coming up behind him.

As soon as they entered, the porter approached them.

**\- So, Mr. Rogers. She got better?**

**S: She's getting better.**

**\- What does she have?**

**S: A flu. The doctor said she'll be fine.**

**\- Ah yes, yes. Sarah is very strong, soon I will see her running and playing around here.**

Steve smiled and headed for the elevator with Natasha. When they arrived at the apartment, Steve was having difficulty picking up the keys. Natasha helped him and opened the door for him.

Steve came in and went to put Sarah on his bed. Natasha shut the door and followed him into the bedroom.

Steve sat down next to Sarah stared at her. Natasha looked at him and then approached the bed too.

Natasha covered Sarah, and Sarah opened her eyes, she looked at Natasha, and sighed.

**Sarah: Mama.**

**N: I'm here, Sarah.**

**Sarah: Don’t go away...**

Sarah grunted, threatening to cry, already getting agitated. Natasha laid her hand on Sarah's forehead, which was already cold now.

**N: I'm not going anywhere until you get better, okay?**

Sarah yawned and went back to sleep. Steve didn’t take his eyes off Sarah, he sighed, causing Natasha to turn his attention back to him.

**N: It wasn’t your fault, Steve.**

**S: It's very difficult to know I could have helped her before.**

**N: I know. But you helped her as soon as you could.**

**S: But if I couldn’t help her in time, what if she have di...**

**N: Sh... No! No, no... She didn’t even get close to something like that, don’t overdo it. Don’t punish yourself like that. She's here now and she's safe. The doctor said she'll be fine.**

Steve nodded. Natasha sat down on the opposite side of the bed where Steve was. Natasha laid beside Sarah and she and Steve stood ther, watching their daughter's sleep.

Almost two hours passed. Steve noticed that Natasha dozed off, he got up carefully to not wake her or Sarah, but Natasha is always on alert mode, she opened her eyes startled and frowned.

**S: Sorry to wake you up.**

**N: No, I was not sleeping. Is she okay?**

Steve laid a hand on Sarah's forehead.

**S: The fever is gone. I need to get James at school.**

**N: Do you want me to go?**

**S: Actually, I'd rather you to stay with her, I still have to buy the medicine.**

Natasha nodded.

Steve kissed Sarah's forehead and left the apartment. He drove to James' school and waited for his release. As soon as James got out and saw his father, he looked for Natasha.

**S: Sorry, James, your mother had to stay with Sarah.**

**J: Okay... I missed you, dad.**

Steve gave a small smile and took James's backpack to carry.

**S: I missed you too, Son.**

**J: Where's Sarah?**

**S: Sarah is sick. I'm going to buy lunch for us at Elisa's diner and we have to go to the pharmacy and then straight home.**

Steve and James walked into the diner.

Elisa was cleaning the tables, she saw Steve and smiled.

**E: Good afternoon, gentleman. I just cleaned your table.**

**S: Thank you, Elisa, but we won’t stay.**

**E: And why not? Where's the little girl?**

**S: She woke up super sick.**

**E: Oh poor thing. How is she?**

**S: I left her sleeping at home, but I'm very worried. I just came to buy lunch to take home. Can I ask you a favor?**

**E: Of course.**

**S: If you can expedite our orders... I hate to have to ask for this, but...**

**E: You don’t have to say anything else.**

Elisa wrote down the orders and ran into the kitchen to ask for Steve's food.

Elisa returned ten minutes later with the food. She handed it to Steve.

**E: If you need anything, call me. I wrote my number on the package.**

**S: Thank you.**

**E: And if you don’t mind, I'd like to visit her.**

**S: That’s very kind of you. You can show up whenever you want.**

**E: I'll take the cupcakes she loves. It will make her feel better..**

James frowned all the time, Elisa didn’t even try to talk to him because she knew he was going to react badly.

Steve and James went to the pharmacy and then straight home.

Upon arriving at the apartment, Steve found Natasha on the living room, sitting on the couch with Sarah in her lap, wrapped in a blanket.

James approached the two.

**J: Mom!! You're here!**

**S: She came to see Sarah, James.**

Steve looked at Natasha, already making it clear to James why Natasha was there.

**S: I brought food.**

**Sarah: Daddy.**

Sarah held out her arms to Steve. Steve left the food on the table and went to Natasha. He picked Sarah in his lap and felt the temperature on her forehead.

**S: She's getting hot again.**

**N: I checked her temperature just now, it was 36.5º.**

**S: Let's eat a little?**

Sarah shook her head.

**S: You need to eat to be better.**

**Sarah: I don’t want to.**

Natasha got up and straightened Sarah's hair.

**N: And if I give the Food for you, will you eat?**

Sarah looked at Natasha and scratched her eye.

James watched Steve with Sarah on his lap and Natasha trying to convince her to eat. Everything seemed like before the accident.

James approached them and looked at Sarah.

**J: I'll give you my fries, Sarah.**

Sarah looked at James.

**J: Eat.**

Sarah nodded, Steve and Natasha went to the table along with James.

Sarah refused to sit in her chair and because she was sick, Natasha and Steve let her stay on the lap.

Steve turned a little to Natasha because she was feeding Sarah.

James was trying to cut the meat, but it was a little hard and the meat ended up leaving the plate.

Steve watched.

**S: Watch out. I cut that for you.**

Steve cut the steak while Natasha gave the second spoonful of food to Sarah, she was slow to swallow.

**S: Here.**

**J: Thank you.**

Steve took some time to eat. Natasha prepared the third spoonful and took it to Sarah's mouth that closed her mouth and turned her face away.

**N: Sarah? Let's eat, okay?**

Sarah shook her head.

**N: You ate too little.**

**S: Sarah, you need to eat.**

**Sarah: I don’t want to.**

Sarah said already starting to cry.

**N: James even gave his fries to you.**

**S: Only the fries then.**

Sarah shook her head. For Sarah to refuse fries is because she is not well.

Natasha looked at Steve.

**N: She didn’t eat nearly anything.**

**S: Sarah, just one more spoonful and I promise you that's fine.**

**Sarah: Nooo.**

Sarah grunted, crying now.

**N: Please.**

Sarah opened her mouth, Natasha put food in her mouth, Sarah chewed for a long time, but didn’t swallow. Natasha stared at her.

Natasha frowned because Sarah's expression was different.

**N: Oh God.**

Natasha stood up and turned Sarah's face away from the table. Sarah vomited more than the amount she ate. Steve hurriedly picked her up and took her to the bathroom. Natasha followed him concerned.

**N: Why did she vomit?**

**S: I don’t know.**

**Sarah: I don’t feel good, daddy.**

Sarah said weakly and vomited a lot again. Steve was already shaking. He leaned against her face and Sarah was feverish again.

**S: The fever has returned.**

**N: The doctor said to give her a cold bath.**

Steve handed Sarah over to Natasha's lap and went to the bedroom to separate clothes and a towel for her.

Natasha undressed Sarah and put her in the shower, but Sarah could barely stand. Natasha left her sitting in the bathtub and felt sorry for Sarah's shaking.

**N: Steve???**

Steve didn’t answer.

**N: Steve?? Hurry up!**

**S: I'm coming.**

**N: She's shaking!**

**S: God, we should go back to the hospital!**

Steve arrived at the bathroom.

**N: No, easy. Did you bring her medicine?**

**S: Yes. I'll get.**

Steve prepared Sarah's medicine.

James ran in the bathroom.

**J: What's going on?**

**N: Your sister is sick, but she'll be fine.**

Steve arrived with the medicine mixed in the water. He tried to make Sarah drink, but she shoved the glass.

**S: Sarah, you have to drink to get better.**

Steve was shocked by what Natasha did next.

**N: Hold her. Give me the glass.**

Steve held Sarah's arms, but he was suspicious. Natasha got up, and pressed Sarah's nose, preventing her from breathing, which made Sarah open her mouth.

Natasha didn’t think twice, se gave the medicine to her in the moment she opened her mouth. Sarah choked a little, but she swallowed the medicine, and of course she started crying over the way she was forced to take the medicine.

Steve was still shocked.

**N: She will get better.**

**J: Why Mom did that to Sarah?**

James was scared too.

**S: Because Sarah needed to take the medicine.**

Steve wrapped Sarah in the towel. Natasha helped dry and dress her.

Steve put her back on the bed.

**N: Let's wait for the fever go away. If she doesn’t improve, we'll go back to the hospital.**

Steve nodded. Fortunately the fever subsided a few minutes later and Sarah continued to sleep.

Steve looked at Natasha who was standing with her arms folded, staring at Sarah.

**S: You didn’t eat anything, either.**

**N: I'm not hungry.**

**J: Can I play video games?**

Steve looked at James and nodded.

James went to his bedroom while Steve and Natasha stayed with Sarah, both extremely worried.

At the end of the day, the doorbell rang, waking Sarah.

**N: I'll go check. Stay with her.**

Natasha left Sarah's room and went into the living room.

Natasha opened the door and ran into a woman holding a little box of cupcakes.

Steve went into the living room with Sarah on his lap to see who it was.

**S: Elisa?**

Steve asked in surprise.

**E: Good night, Steve.  Hi, Sarah!**

Steve stared at Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, Elisa is in everywhere!  
> P.s.:What if I tell u guys, that Nat and Steve will only get together after a big loss??


	41. Taking the own poison

**E: Good evening, Natasha.**

**N: It's Romanoff for you.**

****

Natasha corrected and Elisa was embarrassed.

**E: Sorry, is that...**

**N: It’s fine. Are you coming in?**

**E: I... I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have come without calling. It's just that I got really worried when Steve said that little Sarah was sick.**

_Little Sarah? Who let you call my daughter like that?_ Natasha screamed in thought.

Elisa nodded to Sarah who didn’t smile because she wasn’t feeling well.

**E: Hi baby girl... I brought you a cupcake.**

**S: You shouldn’t bother coming here so fast, but thank you for your concern.**

**E: It's no problem for me at all.**

**S: Sorry, I have nothing to offer you besides water.**

**E: No, no, no, I'm already going. I just came to see how she is. And don’t forget to call me if you need anything.**

**N: Very good to know of your availability, Miss... Uhm?**

**E: Baker.**

**N: Baker...**

Natasha gave a fake smile.

Elisa was embarrassed again by the way Natasha answered in an ironic tone, which Steve didn’t notice.

Elisa smiled and said good-bye.

Natasha closed the door and looked at Sarah.

**N: Do you want eat one?**

**S: I don’t think she should eat sweet now, her stomach is sensitive.**

**N: But she's got nothing in her stomach.**

Sarah laid her head on Steve's shoulder. Steve laid his hand on her cheek.

**S: She's not long with fever.**

**N: Thank God. Oh! The baby bottle!**

Natasha walked over to Steve and looked at Sarah.

**N: Do you want a bottle, baby?**

Sarah stared at Natasha without answering.

**N: I'll make one for you, okay?**

**Sarah: With chocolate??**

**N: Do you want with chocolatte?**

**Sarah: I do.**

**N: So it'll be with chocolate. Okay?**

Natasha kissed the tip of Sarah's nose and went to the kitchen counter to prepare her bottle.

Steve remained on his feet holing Sarah in his arms. Natasha looked at him.

**N: Don’t make her sleep now.**

**S: I just...**

**N: She can’t sleep on an empty stomach. She is already too weak.**

Steve nodded and sat down on the couch. Steve turned the TV on and put on the cartoon channel to distract Sarah.

Natasha came to them with the bottle and handed it to Sarah. Sarah took almost all the bottle and the tone of her skin improved a lot.

**N: How are you feeling?**

**Sarah: My head hurts.**

**N: Yet?**

Natasha and Steve stared at each other.

**S: It was supposed for the medicine make the pain go away.**

**N: But maybe it didn’t work because she vomited and needed to eat something. It will pass.**

**Sarah: Will you stay with me?**

**N: Of course, I promised, didn’t I?**

Sarah nodded.

Natasha looked at Steve.

**N: If you don’t mind.**

**S: Of course not. It's time for the antibiotic.**

After Steve gave the medicine for Sarah, he turned off the TV and took her to her room, Natasha was right behind them.

Steve laid Sarah in the bed and Natasha covered her.

Natasha sat down beside Sarah's bed.

Sarah closed her eyes and fell asleep. Steve looked at Sarah for a few seconds, then turned to Natasha.

**S: You can have the room.**

**N: No.**

**S: Natasha.**

**N: No way.**

**S: But...**

**N: I want to stay here.**

**S: Here??**

Steve frowned.

**N: Yes. I won’t be able to stay away from her now. I... I just wanna be here.**

Steve stared at for a few seconds, he nodded and left the room.

Steve knocked on the door to James's room and stepped inside. James was asleep sitting on the floor with the video game controller in his hand. Steve turned off the TV and put James on the bed. James woke briefly.

**J: Is Sarah Okay, dad?**

**S: She's getting better.**

James went back to sleep, Steve went to his bedroom, he took a pillow and a duvet, he returned to Sarah's room and handed it to Natasha.

**N: Thank you.**

Steve just looked at her gently. Steve left and went back to his room. Natasha spent hours watching Sarah sleep, and Sarah slept well all night.

During the night Natasha felt hungry, she got up carefully and opened the door. She looked down the hall and the door to Steve's room was open, she struggled to see if he was asleep but she couldn’t see right.

Natasha went to the kitchen and didn’t turn on the light to not wake anyone, she opened the refrigerator and searched something to eat. There was only healthy food, Natasha rolled her eyes.

Natasha decided to check the cabinets and found a box of cornflakes. Natasha opened and ate almost half of the box. Natasha tucked the Box of Cornflakes back and when she turned she knocked the cutlery over the floor, that was on the counter.

**S: I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.**

Natasha knocked over because she didn1t notice Steve arrive in the kitchen and she always notices any kind of movement. Her heart quickened with the fright and then she calmed down to see it was Steve.

**S: I didn’t know you were here.**

**N: I... I felt hungry and came to eat something. I'll replace the Cornflakes tomorrow.**

**S: No need. You didn’t have dinner, so you were going to feel hungry at one time or another. And they don’t use to eat that at all.**

Natasha and Steve looked at each other and they were embarrassed that they had nothing more to say. They didn’t know if they should find a subject, ignore each other or leave.

Well, Natasha has nothing else to do there in the kitchen, so she has to leave. And Steve was in the kitchen to get a glass of water, and if he didn’t get the glass of water it would be very weird.

Since neither moved, the two took initiative at the same time and ended up bumping into each other.

**N: Sorry.**

Natasha said unsteadily, Steve tried to get out of her way, but Natasha had already decided to change course and the two met again and ended up laughing at their stupidity.

**S: Please, you first...**

Steve stepped aside and held his hand in the air, motioning for Natasha to pass. Natasha smiled awkwardly and took the first step, standing in front of Steve, she looked at him briefly, but it was enough to make Steve feel the urge to kiss her.

Steve put his hand on the counter in front of Natasha to stop her from passing. Natasha looked at Steve and broke the smile, already feeling her heart racing.

Steve didn’t kiss her, didn’t move his face, he just blocked her way and looked into Natasha's eyes. If Natasha wanted to reject him, she would just have to ask and Steve would allow her to go, but Natasha stood there staring at Steve with a frown.

For Natasha, Steve was going to kiss her and she wasn’t going to stop him, but Steve made no mention of kissing her, which irritated Natasha. Why did he stopped her for? To tease and only that? Is that a joke? Natasha is not the type who likes stupid jokes.

 _Steve is an asshole_. Natasha thought.

Natasha became impatient with Steve, she literally hung on his neck to reach his mouth. Natasha stuck her lips to Steve's and already invaded his mouth with her tongue. Steve took his hand off the counter and wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her upright.

They made love again, as usual.

They made love right there in the kitchen, they also did in the hallway do the room, and continued at Steve’s room.

Steve did his job so well done, that Natasha ended up screaming when she was about to cum.

**S: You're going to wake them up.**

**N: Then stop.**

**S: Do you want me to stop?**

**N: I'll kill you if you stop!**

Steve used the headboard of the bed as a way to dig deeper into Natasha, Natasha could no longer react, she came right after that and again straight after.

Natasha was not even moaning anymore, she shook her head and looked at Steve begging.

**N: I can’t anymore...**

**S: I'm almost there. Do you think you can hold a little bit longe?**

**N: If you cum right now, it would be better...**

**S: Hold on. I'm almost there.**

Steve wanted to have more time, but he couldn’t continue with Natasha already exhausted.

**S: Put your hands on my neck.**

**N: Steve...**

**S: It will help.**

Steve said breathlessly. Natasha wrapped around Steve's neck and he lifted her body from the bed, leaving her hanging on his neck. Steve grabbed Natasha's waist and moved her up and down quickly, and he came at once and this time he was the one who screamed. He released her body and lay down beside her.

Luckily the kids did not wake up, maybe some neighbors had woken because the bed was hitting the wall so hard.

The two fell asleep in seconds and during the night, Natasha turned to Steve and laid her head on his chest.

In the morning, Steve woke up first, but as soon as he moved to try to get up, Natasha opened her eyes. She was about to start with the thoughts of "What did I do??" all over again, but Steve looked at her differently this time, Natasha couldn’t read it because it was a quick glance.

Steve soon got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Natasha stayed on the bed and tried to doze some more. Twenty minutes later, Steve left the bathroom, Natasha looked at him, but Steve didn’t look at her, he went to the closet and got a suit to get dressed.

Natasha thought it was weird, because Steve gets very clingy after having sex with her and he didn’t do it this time, he wasn’t giving her those lovely and intense gazes, the morning caresses... Natasha sat on the bed and covered her breasts with the duvet, watching Steve get dressed.

Steve finished dressing and went to the bedroom door.

Natasha frowned indignantly.

**N: Steve?**

Steve turned and looked at Natasha, raising his eyebrows, wondering what she wanted.

**N: Is everything okay?**

**S: Yes. I'm going to check on Sarah.**

Natasha nodded, surprised at Steve's coldness. Natasha got up and took a shower, she dressed in the same clothes that she came and left the room. When she went into Sarah's room, she was sitting up in bed, laughing and talking to Steve.

Sarah looked at Natasha and smiled.

**N: I can see that your are much better today.**

**S: Yes, sh eis great, no fever.**

**Sarah: Mommy, your neck is hurts.**

Natasha put her hand on her neck, right in the area where Steve gave her a hickey last night.

**N: Oh, it's Nothing, honey.**

**Sarah: I'm hungry.**

**S: Good, let's have a great breakfast!!**

Steve smiled and tickled Sarah.

**Sarah: Yeah! Let's go, Mommy.**

**S: Your mother can’t stay.**

Natasha was smiling at Sarah, but Steve answered in her place, and made Natasha broke her smile and look at Steve with a frown.

Steve wasn’t paying atention to her, he was looking to Sarah.

**S: She has to go to her home.**

**Sarah: Oh mommy. I wanted her to stay.**

**S: She has her business to take care of.**

Natasha didn’t respond, she was hating Steve for having practically ousted her.

Sarah stood up and hugged Natasha. Natasha stroked Sarah's hair.

Sarah ran to the living room, Steve got up to leave the room, but Natasha stepped in his front and shoved Steve’s chest to make him go back. Natasha closed the door.

**N: What fuck was that???**

**S: That what?**

**N: You answering for me...**

**S: Is not that what you were going to say in the same way? That you need to go your home, or that you have to work, that it meant nothing, that it was only attraction and so on. Right??**

Natasha couldn’t believe what Steve was saying. She was going to say those things indeed, but he has no right to throw that in her face. At least that's what she thinks.

Natasha took a deep breath, then she laughed sarcastically.

**N: So that's how you want to play, huh?**

**S: I'm not playing Natasha. I wanted to have sex, you wanted to have** **sex. We did sex, so... There's nothing wrong with that. Let’s move on.**

**N: Yeah, yeah... Let’s do it...**

Natasha took another deep breath, she opened the door and ran into James. Natasha didn’t know if he heard her conversation with Steve.

**J: Are you leaving?**

**N: Yes.**

**J: Can I see you later?**

**N: I don’t know, but I'll try, okay?**

Natasha went into the living room and opened the door.

**Sarah: Bye, Mommy.**

Natasha nodded to Sarah and left, slamming the door.

Steve still stayed in the room, pensive and afraid of what he did. He wanted to run after her right now, but it would be him running after her and Natasha running away again. Maybe it's better that way, if she doesn’t love him, she won’t get hurt with this.

Steve left the room and tickled James.

**J: Stop it, Dad!**

**S: Let's eat, James has to go to school.**

**Sarah: What about me?**

**S: You're staying with Daddy until you're completely healed.**

**Sarah: But I'm good.**

Sarah really was a lot better, but just to be sure, she spent the day with Steve. On the next day, Steve took her back to the doctor, who examined her quickly and said she could go back to school, tha she was fine.

Steve let Sarah go to school the next day and he went to the Avengers Base to work.

**Sam: Is Sarah better?**

**S: Yes. She's already back to class.**

Sam and Steve were walking down the corridor from the Avengers base toward the cadet center. By mid-morning Steve helped train the cadets along with Sam and Clint. But the morning's work was interrupted, by JARVIS.

**_JARVIS: Mr. Rogers, the school of one of your kids is on the line and says it's urgent._ **

Steve and Sam looked at each other.

**_S: I'll meet outside._ **

Steve left the room and in the hall, he asked JARVIS to pass the call to his cellphone.

**_\- Mr. Rogers?_ **

**_S: Yes?_ **

**_\- It's Sarah, I don’t know what happened, she was fine ad sunddely she passed out._ **

**_S: What??? I'm going there right now._ **

**_\- No, Mr. Rogers. I’m sorry, you need to go to the hospital, we had to call an ambulance._ **

**_S: Why? What happened?_ **

**_\- Look, Mr. Rogers, she was also bleeding, by her nose._ **

**_S: Bleeding????_ **

**_\- You'd better go to the hospital immediately._ **

Steve finished the call, Sam appeared in the hallway and was startled by Steve's pallor.

**Sam: Steve? What happened?**

**S: It’s Sarah...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Sarah... I'm so sorry.


	42. Sarah

**Sam: I'll go with you.**

Steve and Sam rushed to the car and rushed to the hospital as fast as possible.

Once inside the hospital, Steve tried to get into the emergency room, the nurses and Sam prevented Steve.

**\- Sir, she's not there.**

**S: How not?**

**\- She's at the ICU.**

**S: ICU?**

**Sam: What's wrong with her?**

**\- The doctor will talk to you as soon as possible.**

Steve saw the doctor who had treated Sarah the last few times they went there and ran up to him, the doctor was startled by Steve's approach.

**S: Doctor, you said she was fine, that it was a simple flu. What is going on not?**

**\- Mr. Rogers, it happens that some diseasdes has very similar symptoms, and when you brought her here, I treated her and she was fine, she was with a good color, speaking well, I saw no reason to keep her at rest or hospitalized.**

**S: So you don’t know what she has?**

**\- No. She's being taken care of by the doctor of ICU and they will examine her again.**

**S: But how is she now?**

**\- I have no idea, you'll have to wait until the ICU doctor comes to see you.**

Natasha arrived at the hospital running, she was also warned by the school about what happened to Sarah and she soon approach to Steve and Sam.

Natasha said nothing as she approached, she just punched the face of the doctor who was talking to Steve.

Steve and Sam had to hold her.

**\- What does that mean???**

The doctor asked, putting his hand on his face.

**N: It means you should do your job right!**

**S: Natasha, please.**

**N: Let me go, Steve!!! You said she was fine!**

**S: That's what he told me.**

**N: He did not examine her properly and she got worse. It's his fault! I should fucking kill him right now!**

**Sam: Natasha, calm down, they're with her in there, if you stay so exalted, they will forbid you from entering the hospital.**

**N: The hell they will!!!**

Natasha pretended to be calmer. The doctor moved away to put ice on his face.

Natasha called Hill.

**_H: Hill._ **

**_N: Hill, I need to transfer Sarah from hospital immediately._ **

**_H: Hospital?_ **

**_N: She passed out and they brought her back to this damn hospital that did not diagnose her right. Damn fucking idiots!_ **

**_H: I'll arrange it right away._ **

**S: How do you ask Hill to transfer her, without even consulting me first???**

Natasha looked at Steve furiously.

**N: Do you want her to stay here where she was released and got sick again??**

**S: I don’t know what she has.**

**N: Exactly! I want to put her in the best hospital with the best professionals. Do you have something against it?**

**Sam: Hey, hey, guys! Are you crazy? Your daughter is hospitalized and you’re fighting. This is no time for this. Steve, SHIELD can get the best doctors to take care of Sarah, it’s true.**

Sam looked at Natasha.

**Sam: It doesn’t mean that Sarah will be removed if she is in a delicate situation. Let's wait and please be calm. She needs you.**

Steve and Natasha looked at each other and they decided to be silent. Everything Sam said was true and they know it.

Steve ran his hand over his face, trying to wake up from the nightmare. Sam leaned against Steve's shoulder.

**S: Sam, I’m sorry, I need you to pick up James at school for me.**

**Sam: Sure, no problem, man.**

**S: Don’t tell him what's going on. Take him to your house. I’ll get him later.**

**Sam: Don’t worry. Can I really go or are you going to start another fight?**

**N: You can go.**

Sam retired and a few minutes later, Maria Hill arrived at the hospital accompanied by Dr. Cho.

**Cho: What are her symptoms?**

**S: A few days ago she vomited and had a fever, I brought her here and the doctor said she was a simple flu. We medicated her right at home, when we came to check if everything was okay, the doctor released her to go to school. I still waited the next day to make sure she was okay.**

**Cho: And she was talking? Eating?**

**S: Yes, she was excited as always. She looked healthy.**

**Cho: I'll go upstairs to see her status and I'll let you know.**

**N: I'll go along.**

**Cho: You can’t, Natasha. Let me learn her statu and I promise I'll let you know soon enough.**

Cho introduced herself and had the entry authorized for the ICU. Half an hour later, Cho came downstairs.

Steve and Natasha ran to her.

**Cho: All you need to know is that she's stable now.**

**S: I want to see her.**

**Cho: You'll see. She's coming down. I asked for a transfer to the hospital that I work, we will have a better look at her case**

**N: But what does she have?**

**Cho: So that's the problem. There's nothing in her exams.**

**S: How is this possible?**

A male nurse appeared in the hallway, carrying Sarah's stretcher. Steve and Natasha approached her immediately and touched Sarah's hand, but she was unconscious.

N: You said she was stable.

**Cho: She is, don’t worry. You can come in the ambulance with us.**

**H: I'll follow you in my car.**

Steve and Natasha entered the ambulance, along with Cho.

**Cho: All the tests we did, didn’t point out anything that might be causing this, but I have other suspicions that I can only confirm after completing tests.**

Natasha was shaking without noticing and her skin was extremely cold.

Steve looked at Natasha's hands and put his hand over hers. Natasha looked at him and the anger that she was feeling for him, ended immediately.

Sarah began to tremble involuntarily.

**S: What's happening???**

Sarah opened her eyes, but they soon rolled over and she began to foam through her mouth.

**Cho: She's convulsing!**

**N: Do something!!!!**

Cho ordered the rescuer to apply a specific medication to Sarah, who soon calmed down.

Sarah closed her eyes and opened them slowly, blinking a few times trying to regain consciousness.

Steve took Sarah's hand, and she looked at him in alarm.

**Sarah: Daddy? Why are you crying?**

Sarah asked in weak voice.

Natasha looked at Steve and saw tears rolling down his face. Natasha laid her hand on Steve's back and looked at Sarah.

**N: He's just happy to see you. Just that, baby.**

**Sarah: What are we doing here?**

**N: We're going to the hospital.**

**Sarah: Why?**

**N: Because you got a little sick again.**

**Sarah: I do not want to go, mama.**

**N: We'll be there with you.**

Sarah calmed down to see her parents with her, but as soon as they arrived at Cho's hospital, Cho asked Steve and Natasha to wait in the waiting room.

Sarah tried to stand up and held out her arms to Steve.

**Sarah: Daddy! Please, Daddy.**

**S: Sarah, honey, it’s okay, we'll see each other soon.**

**Sarah: I do not want to go. Daddy, please.**

**Cho: She'll be fine. Don’t worry.**

Cho and the nurse took Sarah to the elevator. Steve put his hands on his head in despair. Natasha was nervous too, but she knew disguise better.

**N: She's the best doctor in the country. Hill assured me.**

**S: I know, but no one knows what Sarah has and it makes me nervous. She's too young to go through with it.**

**N: I know. Why don’t you sit down?**

Steve looked at the chairs, sighed, and decided to sit down.

**N: I'll get you some water.**

**S: No, Please...**

Steve looked at Natasha.

**S: Stay here with me.**

Natasha looked at Steve, the affectionate and loving Steve was now asking her to stay after all that coldness of the other night.

Natasha sat down a chair away from Steve.

**N: Since you're crying, you better cry everything you have to cry now.**

Steve looked at Natasha.

**N: You can’t cry in front of her, it will make her nervous.**

**S: I'm fine.**

**N: You're a terrible liar.**

Hill arrived in the waiting room. Natasha got up and hugged Hill.

**H: She'll be all right. Cho's great, you'll see.**

**S: Thank you, Hill.**

**H: Do you need anything? I've already left an agent here in case if** **you need water, food, clothing, he'll arrange it.**

**N: Thank you.**

**H: I wanted to stay, but I have urgent matters. Keep me informed.**

**N: Right.**

Hill withdrew, Natasha sat down again beside Steve. They waited three long hours, until Cho entered the waiting room.

Steve and Natasha stood up.

**S: So? How is she?**

**Cho: She's stable for now. But she can collapse at any moment.**

**N: What?**

**S: Oh my God! Did you find out what she has?**

**Cho: I'm 70% sure that she's got an autoimmune disease, but it's not any disease we know of.**

**N: 70%?**

**S: Is it cancer?**

**Cho: No, we checked because it was my first suspicion.**

**S: So what is it?**

**Cho: I can’t lie to you, guys. We've never dealt with a case like Sarah's before. You two have a superserum in your blood. But your serums are different and I suspect that Sarah's body does not quite match that combination.**

**N: What does that means?**

**Cho: I strongly believe that this is making Sarah's defense system attack her own body, so she keeps getting worse.**

**S: But... Are you not sure?**

**Cho: No, but I believe that's it. Otherwise, I have no idea what's going on.**

**N: Let's say it's what you suspect... How is that treated? Is there a cure?**

**Cho: I can’t say I have a cure for that, understand that this is new to me too. What I'm thinking of doing to know if it's going to work is a blood transfusion.**

**S: That's it? You can collect mine. Collect it right now.**

**N: Mine too!**

**Cho: So it can’t be yours, since it was what started this attack on Sarah’s body. We need someone 100% compatible. Sarah is O-, and none of you are. We need someone from your family. And maybe only the blood is not enough, but the first test I'll do is that.**

Natasha and Steve frowned and looked at each other.

**Cho: I know you've been frozen, Steve and you don’t have any relatives still alive, but I don’t know if Natasha would have anyone.**

**N: I was left in an orphanage! In Russia! I have no idea who my Family is.**

**S: Oh God!**

**Cho: I figured. But you still have a relative in common.**

**S: Who?**

**Cho: James... He's Sarah's brother.**

Steve sighed and ran his hand over his mouth.

**S: James is just a kid.**

**Cho: I know. But if he's O-, he's more likely to be compatible with Sarah.**

**N: But what if it's not just blood, what else would he have to donate?**

**Cho: I'd rather test the blood first.**

**N: You're making me nervous.**

**S: I'm going to ask Sam to bring James.**

**N: I’m not sure about that, Steve.**

**S: If it's just the blood, there's no risk for him, right?**

**Cho: Right.**

Steve walked away from Cho and Natasha, he called Sam and asked him to bring James to the hospital.

**Cho: We had to sedate her because she was very agitated, but you can come in to stay with her, I left her in an exclusive room. It has accommodation for two. The nurse will take you to her.**

Steve and Natasha followed the nurse.

The nurse opened the door, Steve and Natasha entered and the nurse withdrew.

Steve moved closer to Sarah's bed and caressed her face. He just didn’t cry again because Natasha was there and he didn’t want to make Sarah nervous.

Natasha didn’t approach the bed, instead of that, she came inside the room, but remained with her back to the bed and her arms folded. Steve looked at Natasha and was surprised by her attitude.

About forty minutes later Sam arrived in the room with James. James ran to Sarah.

**J: Sarah? Wake up! Sarah?**

Steve looked at James and shook his head.

**J: What's going on? Why is she here?**

James grabbed Sarah's arm and shook her hard.

**J: Sarah! Sarah!**

Steve walked around the bed and held James. Steve pushed him away from the stretcher and crouched, looking at James.

**J: Is she dying?**

**S: No, no, James. She's going to be fine, okay?**

**J: Mom?**

James looked at Natasha who was still on her back and arms folded. Natasha turned her face a little, but didn’t let anyone look at her.

**N: I'll be right back.**

Natasha left the room. Steve looked at Natasha and felt something was wrong.

**S: Sam, stay here with them.**

Steve ran out of the room and saw Natasha heading toward the elevator.

**S: Natasha!**

Natasha didn’t stop, nor did she look back. She pressed the button to call the elevator. Steve ran to her.

**S: What’s going on?**

**N: Nothing.**

Natasha said dryly, yet withou looking into Steve’s eyes.

**N: I need space.**

**S: I need you. We need to talk to James together.**

**N: I can’t! I can’t do it, okay? All of this... This is too much for me. I can’t go through with this.**

The elevator arrived, Natasha came in and avoided any eye contact with Steve. The doors of the elevator began to close but Steve put his hand to prevent it. He looked at Natasha.

**S: I know you're worried and scared. I know you, Nat.**

Natasha sighed and ignored Steve.

**S: Running away will not make you feel better. Believe me, you're worried and now you're blaming yourself for what Cho said. It's not your fault for not knowing your family, not mine.**

**N: It’s who’s fault, then? We shouldn’t have children. I was not made to have children.**

**S: But we already have.**

**N: I can’t, Steve...**

Natasha whispered.

**N: I can’t be here, I don’t want to lose her. I can’t think about that, I can’t do it...**

Natasha was about to broke in tears, her lips were trembling.

**S: Just because you're going away doesn’t mean you can avoid the loss. Will you be able to disappear and ignore all this, to pretend that it’s not happening? I'm suffering too and I can’t do it without you. Please don’t go away. We need you.**

Natasha took a deep breath and looked into Steve's eyes.

It took Natasha a few seconds, but she left the elevator.

**S: Come on.**

Steve put his arm around Natasha's shoulder and led her back into the Sarah’s room.

Steve talked to James about the blood donation and he agreed right away, he just wasn’t too sure about the niddle, he asked Natasha to accompany him. They went to the lab.

**J: Do you cry when you get injected?**

Natasha shook her head.

**N: No... I'm very brave. Are you?**

James nodded.

The nurse approached with the syringe to collect the blood. James reached out to Natasha.

Natasha hold his hand and James closed his eyes, but didn’t cry when the nurse pierced his skin with the needle.

**J: Is it over?**

**\- Yes, sweetheart.**

James opened his eyes and stared Natasha.

**J: I was brave, mom.**

**N: Yes. I am very proud of you.**

James and Natasha returned to Sarah's room, after the procedure.

Cho returned twenty minutes later, claiming that James has the same blood type as Sarah.

Cho prepared everything for the blood transfusion. Steve and Natasha followed the process that lasted for some hours. Sam stayed to the end as well, he took James to his house when he finished.

Cho explained that James should return the next day for another session.

Steve and Natasha slept in Sarah's room.

At dawn Sarah woke up, calling Steve. Natasha woke up and walked over to her.

**N: Hey...**

**Sarah: Mommy? Where is Daddy?**

**N: He's over there...**

Natasha showed Steve.

**N: Sleeping... we're here all the time.**

Natasha stroked Sarah’s hair.

**N: Are you feeling something?**

Sarah shook her head.

**Sarah: I want to go home.**

**N: I know... soon, okay? Are you hungry?**

**Sarah: No.**

**N: Are you scared?**

Sarah nodded. Natasha sat on her stretcherbed and took Sarah's hand.

**N: You know, what? I feel scared sometimes.**

**Sarah: Do you?**

**N: Yes, baby, it's normal. But do you know what helps me?**

**Sarah: What?**

**N: Think of good things. Like, uhm... the kitten.**

**Sarah: My Kitty! I love him.**

Sarah smiled.

**N: I know...**

Natasha smiled back.

**Sarah: Bring him here for me?**

**N: I can’t, but when we leave here I'll take you to see him.**

Sarah yawned and Natasha smiled.

**N: Are you tired?**

**Sarah: Yeah.**

**N: So sleep. I will stay here with you.**

**Sarah: Don’t leave, mama.**

**N: I won’t leave, baby...**

Sarah looked at Natasha for a few seconds and then closed her eyes. Natasha kept holding Sarah's hand, she couldn’t move away from her.

When Steve awoke in the morning, Natasha was lying next to Sarah on the same bed.

Steve covered the two and a few minutes later, Cho entered the room.

**Cho: Good morning.**

**S: Good morning.**

Natasha woke up with Cho's voice, she got up from the bed.

**Cho: Look, after the transfusion we noticed an improvement in Sarah's clinical condition. But I don’t think the blood transfusion is enough. It's a blood deficiency she has.**

**N: What do you mean?**

**Cho: I mean that what will guarantee her recovery is the donation of bone marrow.**

**S: What?? From who?**

**N: James?**

**S: Not from James, I hope.**

**N: Can’t be from one of us?**

**Cho: No, James is more compatible. As I explained, it was your blood that caused this imbalance. James is the best choice for Sarah.**

**S: Sorry, I can’t submit him to this.**

**Cho: We can try to find another donor, but it can take months, even years to find someone compatible.**

**N: We'll think about it.**

**Cho: We don’t have much time.**

**S: How long?**

**Cho: One week at the most.**

Cho left the room.

Steve paced nervously around the room.

**S: I can’t! I can’t do that to him!**

Natasha was silent and looked thoughtful.

**S: He is too young...**

Natasha looked at Steve.

**N: I think he should decide.**

**S: He's too small to understand, I'm going to have to put him at risk to save her.**

**N: Do we have another choice?**

**S: We can try to find some donor.**

**N: One week Steve. From what I know about bone marrow, a relative has 35% chances of being compatible, as for not related only 0.1%. Do you know what that means???**

**S: Oh no, I can’t think right now.**

**N: I think you need to talk to Dr. Cho, to know if this procedure will affect James's life in any way.**

**S: It's a piece of him, Natasha.**

**N: I know.**

**S: You don’t care.**

**N: Of course I care. Don’t be stupid. I'm using my head.**

Sarah woke up with the discussion of Steve and Natasha.

Sarah grunted because she knew they were fighting.

**Sarah: Daddy, why are you fighting?**

Steve approached the bed.

**S: I'm sorry, princess. We were not fighting.**

**Sarah: I want to go home.**

Steve sighed.

**Sarah: I want to see my friends from school.**

**N: You'll see them soon. You just have to get well.**

Nick Fury knocked on the door and entered the room. He brought a stuffed bear with an eye patch on.

Sarah looked at the bear and smiled excitedly.

**Sarah: Is it for me?**

**F: No.**

Sarah laughed at Fury, he didn’t even smile. He came over and put the bear on her bed.

**N: Thank you, Fury.**

**F: No problem.**

**N: Can you stay with her a little? I need to talk to Steve outside.**

**Sarah: Are you going to fight?**

**N: No, I promise.**

Natasha and Steve left the room. Fury sat on the edge of Sarah's stretcher and looked at her with a serious face.

**F: You look awful.**

Sarah frowned.

**Sarah: You're not handsome either.**

**F: I'm more than you.**

**Sarah: Uh-huh. Daddy said I'm the most beautiful girl in the world.**

Fury laughed sarcastically.

**F: He is a terrible liar.**

****

Sarah was still frowning.

**Sarah: You're a very bad man.**

**F: Thank you.**

Sarah looked at Fury, confused.

**Sarah: Can you just sit me down?**

Fury looked around, then at Sarah.

**F: I don’t think so.**

**Sarah: My back hurts.**

Fury got up and took the control of the bed, he pressed a button that makes the bed bend in three. He managed to get the bed to on sitting position.

**Sarah: I'm sick, you know?**

**F: So what?**

**Sarah: Well, I fainted.**

**F: I've already had three stab wounds. One in the eye. Fainting is nothing.**

Sarah was amazed and startled, she was silente, thinking abou what to say.

**Sarah: My nose bled. Like too much!! There was a pool of blood!!**

**F: I took three shots. One in the belly, one in the back and one in the leg.**

**Sarah: And I... I... I already grazed my whole knee, it broke and my bone was out and... and I also hit my head and my brain left my head!!!!**

Fury looked at Sarah and suddenly began to laugh hysterically.

Natasha was outside the room, and she never heard Fury laughing like that, so she opened the door and looked at both of them.

**N: What's going on?**

**F: Nothing. This girl is very special.**

Sarah smiled, looking at Fury. Natasha closed the door again.

**F: You're not that bad.**

**Sarah: You too.**

They both smiled.

...

Natasha and Steve were talking to Cho, who assured that the transplant process was highly safe, it wouldn’t hurt at the time, just a little after the donation and that the marrow of James wouldn’t be affected, in a few weeks, he would be fully recovered. That made Steve more relieved.

**S: He has to decide.**

**N: I know. Let's talk to him after school.**

...

Steve and Natasha explained to James as best they could that his sister was very sick and in need of his help.

**J: If I do not donate, does she die?**

**N: It's likely.**

**S: But it wouldn’t be your fault. You only have to do it if you want.**

**J: Okay.**

**N: Will you donate?**

**J: Yes.**

**N: You're a great brother, James.**

Natasha kissed James's forehead. Steve hugged him next.

**N: They will do some exams on you, to see if you really are compatible.**

**J: Will it hurt?**

**N: Just a little bit. I'll be there with you.**

**S: Me too.**

James's battery of compatibility tests took 24 hours. And luckily he was compatible with Sarah. A day later, the two were sedated and operated.

At the end of the surgery, Cho went to the waiting room of the operating room.

**S: So?**

**Cho: The surgery was a success.**

Steve and Natasha breathed a sigh of relief. Steve couldn’t contain himself, he cried right away, smiled and hugged Natasha, who comforted him by stroking his back.

Steve stared doctor Cho again.

**S: Is she going to be Okay, now?**

**Cho: I hope so.**

**N: What do you mean, “I hope so”?**

**Cho: Guys, this was never 100% sure, I talked to you about it, but I'm confident that this will work. James is free to go home, but Sarah will stay with us for a few more days until we're sure it's working.**

**N: Can we see them?**

**Cho: Sure. They were taken back to the room.**

**S: Thank you, Cho.**

**Cho: It was nothing.**

Cho smiled.

Natasha and Steve ran upstairs to the room. They found Sarah and James still anesthetized.

Steve and Natasha took turns all week to stay with Sarah at the hospital and stay with James at home.

Today, Cho came to the hospital to released Sarah and tell the good News, that the treatment worked. Cho pointed out that Sarah should make appointments periodically to see if everything is okay.

Natasha and Steve were in Sarah's room. She was ready to leave. Steve took Sarah in his arms.

**S: Let's go home.**

**Sarah: Yayyy let’s go home!**

Sarah said, swinging her legs and hugging Steve's neck, excited. When Steve and Natasha left the room, the hospital corridor was practically deserted.

Sarah saw one of the nurses who took care of her.

**Sarah: Bye Rosa.**

**\- Bye, baby. Take care. I will miss you here.**

**Sarah: Me too! Send Julie a kiss!**

**\- I will indeed.**

**Sarah: And to the broom’s uncle too!**

**\- Oh I’ll certainly send your kiss for him.**

Sarah smiled.

Steve thanked Rosa for the care and love that she treated Sarah, while she was hospitalized.

Steve got into the elevator with Natasha and Sarah.

Natasha stared at Sarah and smiled.

**N: Are you happy?**

**Sarah: Yeees! But I miss my Kitty and Jamie and my teacher, and my friends Theo, Mia, Lola, Charlotte, John, Jack and the chinese one... I forgot his name!**

**N: Oh my! How many people!!**

**Sarah: But I'm not going to school today, am I?**

**S: No. Just tomorrow. Do you miss your friends a lot?**

Sarah nodded.

**N: Maybe you'll see them sooner than you think.**

The elevator reached the ground floor, as soon as the door opened, Sarah opened her mouth shocked with the amount of people with balloons and gifts for her there.

All her friends from the nursery were there, along with the teacher and most of the Avengers.

In addition, most of the hospital staff were also present at the surprise party for Sarah, they all got used to Sarah during the time she was hospitalized.

Steve put Sarah on the floor and she went straight to hug James, then her school friends came to hug her.

Sarah looked at Steve and Natasha.

**Sarah: I think this is the best day of my lif!!! Oh, daddy, is it my birthday today??**

**S: Not yet.**

Natasha and Steve smiled at Sarah's happiness and went to greet the Avengers friends who came to support.

Natasha kept talking to Carol, Bobbi and Clint. Steve walked away to talk to Bucky, Sam and Tony.

**Tony: I already knew that my kids would be fine.**

Steve laughed at Tony, then felt someone poking at his shoulder. Steve turned and smiled to see who it was.

**S: Elisa.**


	43. Maria & Sara

**E: Sarah has recovered, I am very happy.**

**S: Yeah, me too.**

**E: I imagine. Well, I got your message about the surprise for Sarah and I took a break from work to come here, but I need to go back now.**

**S: No problem.**

Elisa smirked and turned to leave.

At that moment Natasha noticed the presence of Elisa, but she pretended not to be paying attention.

Steve decided to call Elisa again.

**S: Elisa?**

**E: Yeah?**

**S: Thank you very much for coming.**

**E: Oh, it was nothing. I adore Sarah, really.**

**S: Thanks again.**

Steve smiled and for the first time he considered the possibility of approaching someone, since Natasha and he are divorced and Natasha has made it clear that she has only sexual attraction for him.

Maybe it's time to invest in someone else, so maybe he forgets that love he feels for Natasha.

After saying goodbye and thanking everyone, Steve, Natasha, James and Sarah went to Steve's apartment.

Natasha went along to help with the gifts that Sarah received.

**J: It's not fair! Only she got gifts.**

**N: Your gift is to have your sister safe and sound.**

**J: Not funny.**

**Sarah: I'll share with you, Jamie.**

**J: There's only dolls and these stupid bears.**

**Sarah: You stupid!**

**N: Okay, you're delivered. Now, give mom a kiss, cause she has to go.**

**Sarah: Aren’t you staying with me, mama?**

**N: I said I would stay until you get well.**

**J: Can I go with you?**

**N: Not today, James. Tomorrow I promise to pick you up at school and we'll spend the whole afternoon together. If your father allows it.**

Natasha looked at Steve and he nodded.

Natasha kissed Sarah's forehead and then James. She went to the door and, before leaving, she looked at Steve.

**N: Call me if you have any emergency.**

Steve nodded.

**N: You don’t have to put Hill to call me in your place. Just grow some fucking balls and be a man.**

Steve took a deep breath, Natasha teased him on purpose, she left and closed the door.

Steve gave the children dinner and put them to sleep.

Steve called Sam for advice.

**_Sam: Is Sarah okay?_ **

**_S: Yes, she's okay. That's not why I called you._ **

**_Sam: What's up?_ **

**_S: Remember Elisa? The waitress I mentioned._ **

**_Sam: Tony said she's fallen for you and he said that she is cute._ **

**_S: Well, Tony is a big spunk. But anyway, I..._ **

Steve was silent, as if it were sin to say what he had in mind, he still feels married to Natasha.

Sam understood why he was hesitanting to say what he wants to say.

**_Sam: Look, Steve, I think it's time for you to move on. Everything we could do to regain her memory, we did. She’s moving on, so you better do the same._ **

**_S: Sometimes I think she likes me, she even said she feels something, but that is not enough. That is just attraction and it makes me angry, it seems the time we were starting to date and she mistreated me on purpose to see if I walked away._ **

**_Sam: Yeah, I know you love her, Steve. But I don’t like to see my friend in the hands of a woman like Natasha. No offense, but she's not the Nat you fell in love with._ **

**_S: I know. But I still love her. A lot, but I don’t want to love anymore. It's so hard._ **

**_Sam: Then call Elisa, ask her out._ **

**_S: I don’t know, she seems like a good girl._ **

**_Sam: So..._ **

**_S: I'm just afraid I can’t forget Natasha and just use Elisa. It wouldn’t be fair._ **

**_Sam: Look, be honest with her. And you don’t need to immerse yourself in any new and deep relationship. Sometimes having her as a friend will be enough to get Natasha out of your head, you still have very few friends. You need someone outside your circle of work._ **

**_S: I think you're right._ **

**_Sam: I just want you to be happy, with or without Natasha. But you're a great man. You don’t deserve to be chasing after any woman. I know at least 50 girls, crazy, to go out with you._ **

Steve laughed.

**_S: Do not exaggerate._ **

**_Sam: I'm not. I get a lot of woman saying that I am your friend and that I can present them to you._ **

Steve laughed again.

**_S: Thank you, Sam._ **

**_Sam: You're welcome. And if you want to go out on a double date, you know. Just call._ **

**_S: I will._ **

Steve hung up the phone and had a bad feeling. In his mind, he was still married, so it was hard to think about kisssing and doing stuff with other women, but he knows that he needs to move on.

Steve slept, and the first thing he did in the morning was take out his ring. He placed it inside the nightstand. He will no longer use the ring, since Natasha is not using hers anymore.

Steve felt a little better with his confidence, he got up and went to Sarah’s room to check if Sarah was really okay, he saw her sleeping and decided to take a shower before waking the kids.

After the shower, Steve woke them up and had them shower. Now they were sitting at the table, having breakfast.

**Sarah: I'm not going to take any more bottles, Daddy!**

**S: Oh, really? Why?**

**Sarah: No. Because I... I’m, I’m making...**

Sarah was thoughful, she was raising her finger to be sure.

Sarah showed four fingers.

**Sarah: This! I’m going to be a big girl!**

Steve smiled.

**S: That's right, honey. So we can donate this bottle to some baby that needs it more?**

Sarah nodded.

**S: Are you sure?**

**Sarah: Uhm... Yah!**

**S: Very well. James, you've missed two days of school, I want you to pay atention in class, no talking with your friends while still in class, all right?**

James nodded, finishing the cereal.

**J: Can I take the video game?**

**S: To school?**

**J: Yes, so I can take it to my mom’s house later.**

**S: James, you can’t take the video game to school, I’m sorry.**

**Sarah: Dady, you have to meet Kitty.**

**S: Kitty?**

**J: Yeah, Mom let us stay with him.**

**S: Really? She hates animals.**

**Sarah: But she said he is mine now.**

**J: And mine!**

**Sarah: Oh, I miss him so much!!!**

**S: You'll see him today. Now you two go brush your teeth so we can go to school.**

Sarah and James went to the bathroom, and when they got out, they grabbed their backpacks and went with Steve to school.

Steve left James at his entrance and he was a bit afraid to leave Sarah at hers, he fears that she might get sick again, but Sarah was so excited to go to class that he didn’t dare to keep her home for more days. Steve asked the teacher to watch Sarah and at any problems, to call him.

**\- I will, of course. Let’s go, Sarah! Say bye-bye to your dad.**

**Sarah: Bye, daddyyyy!**

**S: Bye, my love.**

As soon as Sarah walked to inside the school, Steve walked down the sidewalk and looked at Elisa's diner. She was inside, Steve could see her through the window.

Steve was still embarrassed, he took a deep breath and decided he needed to try. He walked into the diner and sat down at his usual table.

Elisa approached.

**E: Well, well, well, good morning, Captain. You came so early today.**

**S: Yes...**

**E: Did you come for coffee?**

**S: No, I actually came to know if...**

Steve lost his voice. Elisa was confused.

**S: I wanted, I mean, I want to know if you have something to do tomorrow.**

Elisa raised her eyebrows, surprised at the question.

**E: Are you... asking me on a... date?**

**S: No. No, no, no...**

**E: Oh, okay... because it seemed that way.**

Elia smiled awkwardly.

**S: I'm sorry.**

**E: If you had asked me on a date, I would say yes.**

****

Steve got all flushed.

**S: It's just that I haven’t done this in a long time.**

**E: What? Calling girls to go out with you?**

**S: Yes.**

**E: So... you were really inviting me?**

**S: Yes. I think so.**

**E: Okay.**

**S: Okay?**

**E: I leave at 16 o'clock tomorrow.**

**S: Okay. I... I will be here.**

Steve stood awkwardly and walked away without even saying goodbye to Elisa. Steve was already even regretting his decision, but now it's done.

Steve headed to the Avengers Base, he sent a message to Natasha asking if the kids could sleep in her house and if she could stay with them over the weekend. Natasha replied that she could stay with them until Sunday, and Natasha also could tell by the way Steve typed the message that he was feeling guilty about something and Natasha soon figured out that it was something related to Elisa.

Natasha figured that, because Steve never has anything to do on weekends, except the missions, he Always prefers to stay with his kids, so he may just have invited Elisa to go out. Or she invited him and he accepted. Natasha concluded that Elisa must have invited, since she seems to have a huge crush on Steve.

Natasha just imagined Steve kissing Elisa and making thing with her body and that made Natasha very, very angry.

Actually, now, it doesn’t matter who invited who. Natasha reaffirmed to herself that this was what she was planning, so Steve forgets her and she does not hurt him anymore, but it is horrible the feeling of losing someone who belongs to you.

Natasha feels like she owns Steve, just because he's always been 100% available to her, and it wasn’t actually the jealousy that bothered her so much, it was the fact that she was not having complete control over him anymore.

In the afternoon, Natasha went to pick up the children at school. Sarah was the first to leave, she saw Natasha and passed at the front of the children's queue to be able to leave first, the teacher tried to hold her, but she dodged and ran to Natasha. Natasha took her in her lap and set her back on the floor.

**N: You're growing up!**

**Sarah: I'll be this soon, mama.**

Sarah extended her four fingers to Natasha.

**Sarah: My friend Thia is going to celebrate her birthday and she called me to her party!**

Sarah handed the invitation to Natasha.

**N: So we have to buy her a present. Right? Let's get James.**

Natasha went with Sarah to the entrance of James' school, he was leaving at this very moment, he ran to Natasha with a paper in his hand.

**J: Mom, look! I was called to be on the school's baseball team!**

**N: Congratulations. Is that what you wanted?**

**J: Yes! My first practice is tomorrow. Will you come?**

**N: Yes, actually you're going to sleep at my home today.**

James and Sarah celebrated and went with Natasha to her home. As soon as she arrived, Sarah rushed to pick the cat.

**Sarah: Can I take the cat to the party?**

**N: No, Sarah. You can not**

**J: What party?**

**Sarah: Thia’s party. I was called! Not you!!!.**

**J: I didn’t even want to go!**

**N: Is not the invitation for two?**

**Sarah: No, it's going to be a girls' party! We will do our nails, hair, make-up, there’s going to be a runway and teas and cakes, pinck cakes! And...**

Natasha looked at Sarah and imagined herself at a party of this kind, with only young girls and their fancy moms. She didn’t know if the torture would be to talk to those mothers, or to be among the little girls.

**J: And I could not go anyway, I got game.**

**N: Oh yeah... Let me see the hour of the game.**

Natasha noticed that the party and the game were at the same time and day. Since she didn’t want to go to the party, she soon had an idea.

Natasha called Hill.

**N: Hill, I need a favor.**

**H: Name it.**

**N: I need you to come here tomorrow.**

**H: For what??**

**N: I can’t comment on the phone, I need you to come here at 1p.m. It’s urgent.**

**H: Okay...**

Natasha hung up and smirked, imagining the hatred that Hill will feel when she know the truth.

Natasha looked at Sarah.

**N: What do you think about Maria Hill taking you to the party?**

Sarah frowned and then smiled, excited.

**Sarah: Oh, she's funny!**

**N: Do you want her to take you to the party, then?**

Sarah nodded.

**N: But look, you're going to have to do this ...**

Natasha explained to Sarah that she could not say they were going to a party, that it was up to Hill to believe that she was just going to leave her there and leave. But then Sarah could convince Maria to stay and even use her as a model for the games at the party. Sarah was super excited and agreed with everything.

At night, Natasha searched for Sarah's bottle in her backpack, sh eis already in the “mom mode”, so she knows the time Sarah would ask for a bottle.

Natasha didn’t find the bottle and got worried.

**N: Oh no, I think your father forget to put your bottle here...**

**J: He didn’t. Sarah asked to not put the bottle n there.**

**N: Why would she do that?**

**Sarah: No, mama, I don’t take bottles anymore.**

**N: How not?**

**Sarah: I'm big now. Daddy said that he will donate to children who have nothing.**

Natasha was surprised by Sarah's attitude.

**N: That’s very nice, Sarah. So, what are you going to eat?**

**J: HOW ABOUT PIZZA!**

**Sarah: Yeah!!!**

**N: Oh guys, look... I know we always eat that when we’re here, but you can’t just eat pizza everyday. I'll order some food.**

**Sarah: But pizza, mama.**

**J: Pizza is good.**

**Sarah: And it is Food!**

**N: No pizza.**

Natasha ordered food over the phone, she asked at her favorite restaurant, since Sarah and James love Russian food. They went to sleep and the next afternoon, Hill appeared in Natasha's apartment in her SHIELD leather suit. She saw the children there and immediately crossed her arms, looking at Natasha with a frown.

**N: Hill...**

**H: No.**

**N: Listen to me.**

**H: No. I'm going away right now. I thought it was something serious when you called me.**

**N: And it is.**

**H: I'm not a nanny.**

**N: Hill, James has a game. And Sarah has this school event. At the same time.**

**H: So what? They have 2 parents. Rogers take one of the and you take the other.**

**N: He's busy today, and Sarah really wants to go to this event...**

**H: Do you want me to leave her there?**

**N: Yes. And you can stay there and bring her back, or come back to get he at the end...**

**H: Okay, but why don’t I take James to the game and you take the weirdo to the event?**

**Sarah: Because I love you more.**

Hill looked down and Sarah was hugging her legs. Hill rolled his eyes.

**H: God! I should take James.**

**N: Noooo, she loves you, Hill. Right, Sarah?**

Sarah smiled and nodded. Natasha handed the present to Sarah to give the birthday girl and everyone left the apartment.

Hill put Sarah in the back seat and got into the car next.

**Sarah: Maria?**

**H: Yes, let's play the game of silence?**

**Sarah: No, that is boring.**

**H: That's all I know.**

**Sarah: I'll teach you othe game, that's the way it is... I see with my little eyes a thing with the letter S.**

Hill rolled her eyes as she started the car.

**H: Steering wheel.**

**Sarah: Yeah! You are good. Your turn.**

**H: No.**

**Sarah: Why not?**

**H: Because I'm not in the mood.**

**Sarah: Do you want to play catchy?**

Sarah released her seatbelt and patted Maria Hill on the shoulder.

**Sarah: It's up to you! You don’t catch me! Nananana...**

Sarah laughed and ran back to sit down. Sarah cringed, amused, as Hill continued to drive seriously.

**H: I'm not playing.**

**Sarah: Yes you are.**

**H: I'm not.**

**Sarah: Yes, you areeee.**

**H: I’m noooot.**

**Sarah: Yes...**

Sarah said in a tearful voice.

**H: My God, you’re so boring.**

Sarah opened her mouth in shock.

**Sarah: You called me boring!**

**H: E?**

**Sarah: I'm going to tell my daddy and my mommy, and my teacher...**

Hill noticed that Sarah looked like she was going to cry. Hill sighed.

**H: God in heaven...**

Sarah stood on her sit and leaned over to Hill's sit.

**H: You have to stay seated, I won’t take a ticket because of you.**

**Sarah: I'm just playing alone because you don’t want to play with me.**

Sarah started to jump on her seat and holding on Hill’s seat, made her seat tremble.

**H: Oh my God! Okay, Okay!!! I see with my little eyes something that starts with the letter Z.**

Sarah sat down and was thoughtful, she was trying to find a word that starts with the letter Z. Sarah stayed quiet for the resto f the trip and didn’t even notice arriving at her friend's house.

**H: We’re here.**

Hill came down the car, and took Sarah out too.

**Sarah: Okay, I give up. What is the word?**

They talked, while they walked to the entrance of a huge house.

H: It doesn’t exist, I told you that so you could be quiet.

Sarah frowned.

Hill rang the bell,  and a woman answered the door and looked at Hill. The woman was surprised by the suit that Hill was wearing, she tried to disguise herself smiling awkwardly and then looked at Sarah.

**\- Sarah, welcome! Come in!**

Sarah came in and tried to pull Hill in to join her.

**H: No, I will not stay.**

**\- Oh, don’t be silly, of course you’re staying.**

Hill looked at the woman, confused. Another mother approached.

**\- Oh, so you came to play with little Sarah? Great! It's time for the crafts! Let's go!**

**H: Crafts???**

Hill frowned.

**\- Yeah, let's make flower baskets.**

**H: What??**

**\- Come, come!!**

**H: No, no. I, uh... I just came to leave her because her mother had another appointment, and I'll come back later to get her back.**

The woman smiled at Maria Hill in a way, that Hill wanted to punch her.

**\- You can’t go, the invitation was very clear, the mothers and daughters to do things in pairs.**

**H: I'm not her mother.**

**Sarah: Maria, come on.**

**\- If you don’t stay, she'll be the only one alone. Don’t be silly, you will love it. Come come.**

**Sarah: Pretty Please, Mariaaa!**

Hill peered inside the house, it looked like a movie scene, everything pink and white, the women wearing patterned dresses, radiant at being with their spoiled daughters. Hill wanted to vomit, Natasha would feel the same way in there.

The two mothers pulled Hill inside and closed the door.

**\- Hello, let's get Sarah and...**

The woman looked at Hill, waiting for her to say her name. Hill folded her arms and sighed.

**Sarah: Maria!**

**\- Oh and Maria, a big welcome to our party!**

**\- Welcome Sarah and Maria!**

They all responded together.

 _I'm going to kill Natasha._ Hill thought as she entered the party room and sat with Sarah at one of the tables.

The mothers stared at Hill's suit, somewhat annoyed. Especially the one who owns the house, because her husband didn’t take his eyes off Hill's ass every time she got up.

Sarah looked at Hill, all excited.

**Sarah: Let's do our basket, Maria!**

Hill just watched Sarah pick up the basket and paste flowers all over it. Sarah's friend approached and they both began to whisper and laugh, looking at Hill, who raised her eyebrow.

**H: What is it?**

**Sarah: Nothing.**

They both laughed again. _God, I hate kids. Especially girls_. Hill thought.

**\- Well, now that we've finished our beautiful little baskets, it's time to go to the next room and do makeup!**

They all started clapping and screaming, excited. Hill just wanted to die. Hill accompanied Sarah and the other girls to the other room, there were several chairs.

**\- Now the moms sit down and our makeup artists are going to be in action!**

Hill's eyes widened and she shook her head.

**H: No... No...**

**Sarah: Maria, please. I'll make you look pretty.**

**H: No. That's not happening.**

**Sarah: Pretty pleeeeease.**

**\- Come on? Sit down, Maria.**

Hill just wondered how the best way to kill Natasha with a lot of pain, by making her go through it.

Hill sat down and Sarah celebrated. She took the makeup case.

**Sarah: Close your eyes.**

**H: No.**

**Sarah: Close it!!!**

Sarah frowned.

Hill took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Sarah chose a sparkling blue to pass in Hill's eye. Then she took a pink lipstick and passed it in Hill's mouth, making everything blurred. Sarah put a lot of blush on Hill's face.

**Sarah: I'm done! You look beautiful!!! Look!**

Sarah took the mirror and showed it to Hill. Hill almost choked.

**H: Jesus Christ!**

Sarah started to laugh, her friend approached and said that she needed to put some more. The two worked hard to put more makeup on Hill’s face.

**\- Very well, girls! Now it's hair time!**

**H: I will not let you cut my hair. No way!**

**Sarah: I'm just going to brush it him, you silly.**

Sarah went behind Hill and realeased her hair. Sarah picked up the brush and brushed Hill's hair.

**Sarah: Your hair is very beautiful.**

**\- Yeah, it really is! Can I comb it, too?**

Sarah's friend asked and Hill nodded. The two were combing Hill's hair and for the first time she liked something at the party, free hair massage is a marvel.

**H: They don’t serve food at this party? When we eat?**

Another friend of Sarah approached.

**\- There’s food in the other room, do you want some? I'll get it for you.**

**H: Oh, you will? Yes, I want...**

The girl ran into the other room and brought a hot dog to Hill.

Hill smiled in satisfaction.

**H: Thanks... And by any chances, do they have beer here?**

**\- Hm...  Yeah, I think so. I saw daddy taking like 5 today.**

**H: Oh, yeah? Would you bring one for me?**

**\- Oh, could it be me this time?**

Another girl offered.

**\- I'll help too.**

Another girl approached and offered to get more Food for Hill and she nodded.

The kids started to pick drinks and Food for Hill and she smirked.

 _So, if I want something, I just have to say and they go there and bring it to me? That's really good._ Hill thought, smiling, feeling in a spa now.

**H: Hey, you.**

Hill called another girl.

**H: Would you like to massage my foot?**

**\- Yes!!**

**\- Me too!**

**H: Okay, I have two.**

Hill took off her boots and the girls massaged her feet while the mothers looked at her in disgust.

**Sarah: All right, I’m done here. You look beautiful. My turn.**

Sarah handed the make-up case to Hill.

**H: Okay.**

Hill painted Sarah the same way Sarah painted it. She also combed Sarah's hair, who insisted on straight hair to look like Hill.

At the end of the party, everyone was singing Happy birthday. Hill and Sarah grabbed their slices of cake and headed for the car.

Hill glanced at Sarah in the rearview mirror.

 **H: You know what? I loved this party. Children can be very helpful. I** **had a good time today.**

**Sarah: Me too!**

**H: Do you know how to wash dishes?**

Sarah shook her head.

**H: And sweep the house?**

Sarah nodded.

**H: Look... I'll let you go to my house once in a while or maybe I have a son, and he can do everything for me. It's for free and you even enjoy do things for me. That’s very nice. I have to go to the mall, do you want to go with me?**

**Sarah: Yes!**

Sarah smiled.

Hill drove to the mall, she went to buy new sunglasses, Sarah asked if she could have one two and Hill bought one for her.

**Sarah: What about Jamie?**

**H: He's not here.**

Hill frowned.

**Sarah: But you have to give him one.**

Hill bought a pair of sunglasses to give to James. As they were leaving the store, Sarah asked Hill to buy some juice for her.

 **H: You just ate a whole cake and drank like 100 sodas, and you still** **want a juice?**

**Sarah: Yeah!**

Hill sighed.

**H: All right.**

Hill decided to stop at a cafeteria, she left Sarah at a table and went to Cash to order.

**H: I’ll have a cinnamon cappuccino and...**

Hill didn’t know what kind of juice to buy for Sarah, and Sarah was sitting away from there.

**H: Hm... What kind of juices do you have?**

**\- All those on the panel, ma'am.**

The attendant answered impatiently.

**H: And what do children uses to  like?**

Hill spoke to herself.

A man standing in line offered her help.

**\- Excuse me... Order the grape one.**

Hill looked at the man and raised her eyebrows, he was extremely attractive.

 **\- My daughter Lily loves that juice. I saw you coming in with your** **daughter, it's for her, isn’t it?**

****

**H: Uhm... Yes. I mean... Yeah, it’s for her.**

Hill nodded.

**\- They're the same age, I guess.**

The man smiled and his smile was even more attractive, he was gorgeous, Hill wasn’t even thinking straight anymore. She made the request and waited to be ready. The man made his request and approached Hill again.

**\- Is she your only child?**

**H: Huh?**

Hill stared at Sarah, then to the man.

**H: Yes...**

She nodded.

**\- I can tell... Lily is my only one too. How old is yours?**

**H: Hm...**

Hill took some seconds to answer, she’s not so surte abou her age...

**H: Four...**

_I guess..._ Hill thought.

**\- Lily, too. My name is Henry.**

He reached for Hill, and when she squeezed his hand, they stared at each other for a long time, smiling.

The requests of the two were delivered and they both were embarassad to say Goodbye, but Henry asked if he could sit down with Hill, so his daughter Lily could meet Sarah and she nodded.

**H: Yes! Yes...**

Hill smiled and nodded. They went to the table, and Hill introduced Henry and Lily to Sarah .

Sarah stared at Henry, impressed with him as well.

**Sarah: You look like superman.**

Henry started to laugh and Hill too, but she didn’t even find it funny, she was just, desperatly flirting with Henry.

**Lily: Everyone says that about my dad. How old are you?**

Sarah raised three fingers.

**Henry: I thought you said she's four.**

**H: No, she has 4! I mean, she’s three, but she’ll be four soon, right babe??**

Sarah frowned and looked at Hill, confused by Hill calling her “babe”. And she was even more surprised when Hill stroked her hair.

Henry smiled and looked at Sarah.

**Henry: Your mother is very beautiful, Sarah.**

Sarah was surprised the man complimented her mother and she is not even there.

Hill smiled.

**H: Thank you... You're very kind...**

Sarah looked at Hill.

**Sarah: But she's not my m...**

Hill covered Sarah's mouth and continued to smile at Henry.

Henry: Well, we have to go now. I'll leave my card with you if you'd like to take your daughter Sarah to play with my Lily any day.

**H: Oh yes. I'll take her. Definetly.**

Hill smiled and waved goodbye. She uncovered Sarah's mouth, after Henry left.

**Sarah: Why did he say I'm your daughter?**

**H: He's crazy, Sarah. So I let him believe you're my daughter. By the way, do you want to go play with Lily some day?**

**Sarah: I don’t know...**

**H: How do you not know?**

**Sarah: Am I going to earn anything if I go?**

**H: But you're a totally skank, Sarah Romanoff. You’re totally your mother and I am very proud. And yes, you will get whatever you want if you go.**

**Sarah: Okay, then.**

Sarah put on her sunglasses and stood up. Hill got up and walked with Sarah to the car.

When the two arrived at Natasha’s building, Natasha was arriving with James as well from the game. Hill got out of the car and Sarah stretched out her arms, wanting her lap.

**H: Oh no, Sarah...**

**Sarah: Do you want me to be your daughter or not?**

**H: Damn! Are you blackmailing me? I think I'm starting to love you.**

Hill was amused at Sarah's blackmail, she took her in her arms and walked with her to Natasha.

Natasha was surprised by Hill's countenance, she seemed to be quite happy, when she must have been wanting to kill her.

**N: And then?**

**Sarah: It was so fun, mama!**

**H: It was...**

Natasha frowned, looking at Hill.

**H: By the way, I'll take Sarah to walk around more often.**

Natasha was surprised.

**N: Why? You don’t even like her.**

****

**H: What??? Who said that? I love Sarah.**

**Sarah: She loves me, mama!**

Hill and Sarah took the juice at the same time, staring at Natasha, through their sunglasses. Natasha found it all very bizarre.

Sarah came down from Hill's lap.

**J: We'll bet race to Mom's floor. When I count to three, One... Two...**

Sarah ran out t inside the building, laughing.

**J: I said on THREE!**

James ran after Sarah.

Natasha looked at them, then she stared Hill with a frown.

**N: What happened??**

**H: Nothing. I'm just thinking about having kids, now. Children can be very helpful. You made a great deal by having two. Bye Bye.**

Hill waved and went back to her car. Natasha entered the building and went upstairs to the apartment.

...

Steve was taking care of his watch, he would never leave a woman waiting. He was ready, about two hours earlier, and half an hour before the time he agreed with Elisa, Steve was already in front of the diner, waiting for her to leave.

Elisa was a little late to getting out from worl, she wanted to make herself look beautiful for Steve.

Steve checked the clock and finally Elisa appeared at the diner door. She walked over to Steve and smiled.

**E: Sorry, did I take a long time?**

Steve smiled and shook his head.

**S: Should we go now?**

Elisa nodded and they walked to Steve's bike. Steve took her to a museum and then Elisa suggested a record store, where she showed Steve her favorite artists.

Later, when it was quite dark at night, Steve asked if Elisa would like an ice cream. Elisa accepted. They both picked up the ice cream and went to sit on a bench near Elisa's house.

The two of them talked a lot about various subjects, but Steve related everything to his children or about what Natasha liked or did not like in the past.

As much as Steve tried not to talk about her, something made him remember Natasha.

Elisa finished the ice cream and looked at Steve. Steve still had the ice cream in his hand and was embarassad with the way Elisa looked at him.

Steve looked away and finished the ice cream.

**E: So... What about now?**

**S: So... I guess that's it. I'll walk you home...**

Elisa couldn’t hide the disappointment of Steve not trying anything with her, she nodded and stood up.

Steve walked Elisa to her door.

Elisa put the keys in the lock and turned to look at Steve.

**E: I had a lot of fun today. It was nice to meet you a little better.**

**S: Me too.**

**E: I was wondering if you were going to kiss me at some point, but you don’t seem interested in it.**

****

**S: Elisa... I’m sorry, you... you are a beautiful woman. I...**

Steve didn’t finish the sentence because Elisa threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to Steve's. Steve was so surprised that he didn’t even opened his lips. He just held her waist and pulled her away slowly.

**E: Oh my God! I’m so sorry!**

**S: No, no...**

**E: I shouldn’t... I thought.... I’m so stupid! I’m really sorry for that.**

**S: That's fine. It's just... It's not your fault.**

**E: You still have her in your head.**

Steve sighed and was silent.

**E: She is too beautiful to forget so easy. But I have patience. If you want to try to really forget her...**

Elisa opened her door, she stepped inside, and stopped at the door, motioning for Steve to come in. Steve took two steps toward the door, but suddenly froze.

**S: Maybe another day...**

Elisa smiled a little sadly and nodded. She closed the door and Steve got on the bike to go home.


	44. Clint's Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter ahead, sorry.

**Sarah: I miss my daaaad. My dad is sooo cute. My little daaaad... ♫**

Natasha was finishing to clean the dishes and she listened to Sarah humming a song that she herself created the lyrics.

Natasha rolled her eyes.

Sarah became silent, playing with the kitten.

Sarah's cat came out of her lap and ran to the window. Sarah went to the window and saw the cat climbing the stairs.

**Sarah: Kitty!!! COME BACK! MAMA!**

**N: Sarah, he comes back later. Cats are like that.**

Sarah sat down and crossed her arms.

**Sarah: I...**

Natasha looked at Sarah, but Sarah didn’t dare say what she had in mind.

**N: What is it?**

**Sarah: Nothing. You’re gonna fight me.**

**N: Maybe not, why don’t you tell me?**

**Sarah: I... I miss my daddy, I wanna see him.**

**J: Oh Sarah is such a baby!**

**Sarah: You a baby!**

Sarah showed her tongue to James and James did the same.

**N: Why would I fight over it? It's normal to miss your father.**

**Sarah: Because I miss you too, when I'm with him.**

**N: All this is normal.**

**Sarah: Yeah, it's just that I wanted to...**

**N: You wanted what?**

**Sarah: Nothing. Can we play outside?**

**N: Just a little bit. We'll have lunch soon.**

James and Sarah rushed to the door, Natasha wiped her hands and opened the door of the apartment. The three of them ran into Steve.

Natasha didn’t expect Steve to appear so early, she stared at him in astonishment.

Sarah ran into his lap.

**Sarah: Daddy!!!**

**S: Hi princess.**

Steve kissed Sarah's forehead and extended his arm to James, who hugged his father also.

**J: Dad, I joined the baseball team! I played very well, and my Mom watched and the coach praised me and he said that I will participate in the next championship.**

**S: Really? That’s great, champ.**

Natasha was still standing serious, not understanding what Steve was doing there. Steve heard the whole story of James, then looked at Natasha.

**S: Sorry to show up like this without warning. I was missing them so much and since I forced you to stay with them since yesterday, I came to pick them up sooner.**

Natasha kept her expression serious and shook her head, not knowing what to say.

Forced? No, she wasn’t forced to stay with them. She actually wanted to spend more time with her children, but Sarah had already complained of missing her father and Natasha didn’t know how to tell Steve that she wants to spend more time with the kids. She was even going to cook lunch for them today.

**S: Is it okay if I take them?**

Natasha made negative with her head.

**S: Go get your things, guys.**

Sarah and James entered the apartment and grabbed their backpacks. Sarah went to the window and saw the cat on the fire escape.

**Sarah: Kitty!!! Daddy! Daddy! Run here. Come and see!**

Steve and Natasha looked at each other in a strange way. Steve apologized and entered the apartment, he went to Sarah and she pointed the cat.

**Sarah: Oh there, it's my kitty.**

**S: Oh, so that’s the famous kitty.**

**Sarah: Yah, isn’t he cute?**

**S: He's very cute, babe**

**Sarah: Yes. And he's mine, right, Mama?**

Natasha nodded.

Steve took Sarah in his lap and went to the door.

**S: James?**

James came running with his backpack, he looked at Natasha and gave her a hug.

**J: Thanks for taking me to the game, Mom.**

Natasha looked at James and nodded, giving a small smile.

James took Steve's hand and they went to the elevator. Natasha looked at them from the doorway.

**N: Steve?**

Steve turned to look at Natasha.

**N: I... uh... I've been thinking that... Maybe I can pick them up at school. You already take them there everyday, so I could pick them and took them home.**

**S: No need. It’s Okay....**

**N: But I want to.**

Steve raised his eyebrows, a little surprised.

**S: Okay...**

**N: Did you find a new babysitter? I can help with this. We could take turns to watch them.**

**S: I'll think about it. See you around.**

**N: Yah...**

Steve stepped into the elevator. Sarah waved at Natasha and James smiled at his mom.

Natasha was already missing the children and they are not even gone yet, she doesn’t know what is this that she is feeling, but she wants to stay with them forever.

...

On Monday, Hill and Natasha were at SHIELD and Natasha commented on the difficulty of working because the nanny resigned.

Hill promised to find someone of extreme confidence to help Natasha and Steve.

In the middle of the week, Hill announced that she had found someone to look after the children. Natasha was at the Avengers Base and Hill took care of taking the nanny there for her and Steve to meet.

Natasha was with Pepper and Carol Danvers hitting details about the operations of the Avengers. Hill asked Natasha and Steve to meet her in the waiting room next to the lobby since the new nanny was not allowed to enter the Base facilities.

Natasha and Steve met in the hallway, on the way to the elevator. Steve pressed the button to call the elevator and was in a bad mood.

**N: Why do you have to make everything a big deal?**

**S: I didn’t even say anything.**

**N: Now you’re not, but I just said I got us a new nanny and you got all moody. You think I don’t care about Sarah and James?**

**S: I didn’t say that. I just don’t know if that person you got is trustworthy.**

**N: And would I get someone who is not trustworthy to take care of my children? I trust Hill and I’m sure she investigated the nanny’s whole life before introduce her to us.**

Steve and Natasha got into the elevator, they basically just argued every time they met. The two of them were silent until they reached the room where Hill was. As soon as they entered, the nanny got up and smiled. Natasha and Steve looked at her and liked her right away. There was just something sweet about her way, that made them a lot more comfortable now.

**H: Guys, this is Laura, she was a teacher in her hometown and now she takes care of children.**

Steve squeezed Laura's hand to greet her.

**Laura: It's nice to meet you, I saw you all the time on TV.**

Laura smiled.

**H: I'm sure she's a great professional. I checked all her references.**

**S: I just think we should arrange a visit for you to meet the kids.**

**Laura: Of course, they have to approve me or not, since they gonna spent a lot of time with me.**

Steve smiled and nodded.

Natasha and Steve asked a series of questions and at the end of the interview, Steve and Natasha were very pleased with Laura. Since it was time to get the children at school, Steve suggested that Natasha take Laura to his apartment while he pick the children at school, so he would have time to tell the News and presente them.

Natasha nodded and left the room with Laura.

Steve also left and went to get the car.

Natasha led Laura to her car. As they passed the front door, Clint was arriving at the base, he simply stopped at the sight of Laura.

Natasha looked at Clint and snapped her fingers.

**N: Barton?**

**C: Hi?**

****

Laura smiled and looked away, feeling a little embarassad.

**N: Are you going to stand in front of us?**

Natasha frowned.

**C: S-Sorry...**

Clint stepped aside and Natasha passed with Laura, who before entering the car, looked back and saw Clint still looking at her.

**L: Who is that guy?**

Natasha looked at Clint and then at Laura.

**N: Oh, that's Clint Barton. He has a girlfriend.**

**L: Oh... I-I... I wasn’t asking b-b-because of that...**

Laura shook her head.

**N: We never know, right?**

Natasha started the car.

Clint entered the base and spotted Hill.

**C: Who was that woman with Natasha?**

**H: Laura? She's the new baby sitter.**

**C: Laura? Is that her name?**

Hill frowned at Clint.

**H: Yes, why?**

**C: N-nothing...**

**H: I think Bobbi is waiting for you.**

Clint glanced at Hill, who was judging him by the way he was impressed with Laura. Clint went upstairs to meet Bobbi.

...

**Sarah: Daddy!**

**S: Let's run and get James. I have a surprise for you.**

**Sarah: What is it?**

**S: I'll tell you when we get James.**

Steve picked up James at the entrance to his school.

**Sarah: Daddy has a surprise for us. It’s a big present!!!**

**S: Well, it's not a present.**

**J: What is it?**

**S: We found a new nanny for you.**

Sarah and James broke the smiles.

**S: She's really nice, you'll like her.**

**J: No.**

**S: James...**

**J: I want Cindy!**

**S: Cindy can’t work for us anymore, son. You already know that and you have to meet Laura before you say you don’t want her.**

**J: All right.**

**S: Let's get lunch at Elisa and take it home.**

Steve walked into the diner, Elisa smiled as she saw Steve and the children. She approached them.

**E: Your table is ready.**

**S: Actually, we’re not staying.**

Elisa didn’t disguise the disappointment.

**S: We found a new nanny and she's waiting to meet the kids.**

**E: Oh yes, I understand. And why didn’t you call me back?**

Steve frowned, confused.

**S: Well I...**

**E: I thought you had fun that day.**

**J: What day?**

James frowned.

**S: Elisa... I'm sorry, of course I had fun. I told you, I'm not used to these date things and I didn’t remember to call you. I’m really sorry.**

**E: I hope you have at least thought of me a little bit...**

Elisa smiled and Steve smiled back.

**J: No! He was thinking about my mom!**

**S: James!**

Steve looked serious at James, then he looked back to Elisa.

**S: Don’t care about him. I’m sorry.**

**E: Alright. I'll prepare your orders.**

Elisa looked sad and moved away.

Steve felt bad, he didn’t call her because he didn’t feel the need. When Elisa returned, Steve took the food and looked at her again.

**S: How can I apologize myself to you?**

**E: A dinner. In my house.**

**J: No!**

**S: James!**

**J: No!**

**E: It's okay if you can’t...**

**S: Yes, I can. Tomorrow. It is okay?**

Elisa nodded. Steve paid and retired with the children.

Steve looked at James reproachfully.

**S: James, that was very bad. That was not polite. You can’t talk to adults like that.**

**J: I don’t like her.**

**S: But why??? What has she done to you?**

James crossed his arms, feeling upset. Steve was also upset, he drove home and upon arriving, Natasha was already inside the apartment with Laura.

Sarah came running and hugged Natasha.

**Sarah: Mama. Mama! Who is this lady?**

Laura smiled at Sarah.

**L: My name is Laura. And who are you?**

**Sarah: Sarah.**

**L: What a beautiful name you have, Sarah. And you’re such a pretty girl with this orange hair and freckles...**

**S: How do you say it, Sarah?**

**Sarah: Thank you.**

Sarah smiled at Laura.

**L: You are welcome.**

James came in the apartment, still upset and he was already going to his bedroom.

**S: James? We have visit. Say good afternoon...**

**J: Good afternoon.**

James whispered with folded arms and angry face.

**S: I didn’t listen...**

**J: Good afternoon!**

James shouted angrily this time. Steve was startled by his aggressiveness.

**S: James! I...**

Laura motioned for Steve not discuss with James.

Laura looked at James.

**L: I think James is upset at the moment.**

**S: But he can’t be disrespectful.**

**L: Not at all, I agree... but maybe James needs to be alone for a while, until he calms down. Right, James?**

James looked at Laura and didn’t answer.

**L: I think James can go to his room, he will calm down, then he will come back here and apologize for being rude, or he can just be punished and stay in his room anyway for the resto f the day.**

James was looking Laura.

**L: If it was me, I'd calm down and apologize... What do you think, Sarah?**

**Sarah: I would say sorry. I don’t like to be alone. No, no, no.**

Laura smiled at Sarah, then looked at James.

**L: What do you think, James? Apologize or be grounded?**

****

**J: Apologize.**

**L: Good! So you can play when you're calmer. Go to your room and come back when you think you’re ready.**

James looked at Laura, then he took his backpack, went to his bedroom and closed the door.

Steve was amazed.

**S: You're good.**

Laura smiled.

**Sarah: Can you make cakes?**

**L: Not just cake, little Sarah! I also can make like ice cream and cookies. And flowers! I can teach you everything. Do you want to learn?**

Sarah nodded.

**Sarah: Yeeesss!!**

Natasha looked at Steve.

**N: I think we have a nanny.**

Steve smiled and nodded.

**S: When can you start?**

**L: Tomorrow.**

Steve nodded, they settled the pay and schedules, Steve explained about the activities as Avenger and that Laura would have to sleep sometimes there, since he doesn’t know her as he knew Cindy to let the children go to her house.

Natasha said she would pay half of Laura's salary.

**N: Well, I'll leave you at home.**

**S: See you tomorrow, Laura.**

**L: See you. Thank you very much. Goodbye, Sarah.**

Sarah nodded.

**L: Bye James!**

Laura said louder, James appeared in the doorway of the room, his face still upset.

**J: Bye.**

Natasha got up to leave and Steve's cell phone rang.

When Steve picked up his cell phone he noticed it was Elisa and he was embarrassed to answer the call there in front of Natasha.

Natasha did not see the caller on the display, but Steve was so nervous that it could only be another woman.

Again the feeling of possession bothered Natasha, so she left the apartment soon so she wouldn’t have to hear anything that did not please her.

...

The next day, at the base of the Avengers, Tony announced that he would throw a birthday party for Clint Barton at his mansion. Natasha has tremendous esteem for Clint and would have to go.

Tony also announced that it would be a kind of dance, so everyone should bring a pair.

The party was set for Saturday.

...

At the end of the day, Steve went to Elisa's house. He bought a wine for dinner. He rang the bell and Elisa answered the door, and she smiled broadly at Steve.

**S: Wow... You look beautiful.**

**E: Oh, thank you. You too. Please, come in.**

Steve smiled and walked into Elisa's house.

Elisa's dog barked at Steve.

**E: Easy, Mimi.**

**S: I didn’t know you had a pet.**

**E: I have, this is Mimi. She always reacts when a man arrives, she** **thinks it’s my crazy ex and she'll have to defend me.**

**S: Defend you?**

**E: Yes... My ex was... a bit aggressive.**

**S: Did he hurt you?**

**E: Sometimes, but I left him. I’m already over it. He’s not a problem anymore. Come and sit please.**

Elisa went to the dining table and sat down with Steve, the food was already served. The two had dinner and talked about Elisa's aggressive ex-boyfriend who still haunts her once in awhile.

Steve has that sense of heroism and has already volunteered to talk to her ex so he would leave her alone for good. Elisa acepted and got even more attracted to him.

After dinner, Elisa took a bottle of wine and sat down on the couch, Steve wiped his mouth on the napkin and sat down next to Elisa, looking at the floor, because he was feeling very awkawrd there.

Elisa found Steve's shyness very funny and charming, she served the wine for them both. She handed Steve's glass and sat on her side, her body turned to Steve.

**E: So what's it like being a hero?**

**S: I don’t like the hero title. We don’t do too much.**

**E: Don’t do much? You only save thousands of lives everyday... c’mon!**

Elisa laughed and Steve smiled uncomfortably.

Elisa reached up to the back of Steve's neck and stroked lightly. Steve was going to take her hand away from him, but he knows he has to try, so he allowed her affection.

**E: I think you're a very brave man, Steve Rogers. You’re a great dad and a great man and yet you are very humble, I think that's what I admire most about you. Your courage, kindness and honesty.**

Steve shook his head and blushed.

Elisa moved closer to him and Steve looked at her, he took a deep breath and this time, he took the initiative to kiss Elisa.

As he took the initiative for the kiss, the kiss was more intense than the first time, Elisa let the wineglass fall to the floor and threw herself at Steve, which made him stop kissing her.

**E: Wh-what? What is wrong?**

**S: Nothing... I just... I’m sorry, I can’t.**

**E: And why not? Your ex?**

**S: No... It’s not that, I swear it, but I can’t spend the night here because of my children...**

**E: Oh yes, I understand...**

**S: But I want to, but not today.**

**E: Okay...**

**S: I have a party at the end of the week, all the Avengers will be there. Do you want to go with me?**

**E: Me? As your date?**

**S: Yes, as my date.**

Elisa was surprised and smiled, nodding. Taking her to meet his friends is a step higher than taking her to bed, actually.

Steve corrected the posture on the couch and gave Elisa a weird peck on the lips.

**S: I have to go.**

**E: Okay. Thank you for the wine.**

Steve and Elisa got up.

**S: Thank you for dinner.**

Elisa threw herself back into Steve's arms and kissed him again, it was hard to let him go, having him there in her house and doing Nothing. She wants to go to bed with him, but Steve was firm to his decisiou, he finished the kiss giving her two pecks on the lips and then he walked to the door.

Elisa sighed and opened the door, Steve kissed her cheek and left.

...

Laura called Natasha's cell phone, asking if Steve was going to be long, because it was too late and she needed to go.

Natasha offered to stay with the children while Steve wouldn’t arrive, she got there in twenty minutes, Laura said goodbye and left.

Natasha looked at Sarah and James.

**N: How was the first day with Laura?**

**J: She's ok.**

Sarah: She's really nice. She hold my bag and look what she did in my hair!

Natasha noticed Sarah's hair full of flowers and braided.

**N: You look beautiful, honey.**

Natasha looked at the clock and didn’t understand Steve's delay, he has not gone on missions, she knows because she was at the Avengers Base.

**N: Do you know where your father is?**

**J: No...**

**Sarah: Yes, we knoe. He went to dinner with Elisa in her house, but he didn’t let me go with him!**

Sarah complained.

**J: Shut up, Sarah.**

James frowned at his sister.

**Sarah: You shut up!**

Natasha heard what Sarah said and it was hard to believe that Steve is really dating Elisa. If he is going out with her again, that means he likes her and is investing on her.

Natasha automatically became in a bad mood.

Twent minutes later, Steve arrived at home and he was surprised to see Natasha there and not Laura.

**S: Natasha? You’re here... What happened?**

**N: It happened that you have forgotten your children.**

**S: I didn’t forget my children, I am just late.**

**N: I don’t care. We will end up losing this nanny too, because of you. Have a good night, Rogers!**

Natasha passed by Steve, left the apartment and slammed the door.

Natasha didn’t even say goodbye to her kids, and Steve was still trying to figure out why she was so aggressive with him.

...

Natasha went straight to Hill's apartment because she needed her heartfelt words.

Hill opened the door, wrapped up in a sheet, with nothing else below.

**N: Hill? There is someone here with you?**

**H: What do you think? I’m naked...**

**\- Do you want me to leave?**

Hill looked into the apartment and watched Henry, the guy she met the other day with Sarah. She made negative with her head.

**H: Natasha, I really can’t right now. This guy is hoooot! You woulnd’t believe it!**

**N: Damn! Alright. I guess I’m just going to a bar and drink myself to death!**

**H: Yah, yah, yah. Do it!**

Hill closed the door on Natasha's face, which made her even more upset.

Natasha went to a bar near her house. As soon as she entered the bar, she went straight to the counter and ordered pure vodka.

**\- I think I know you.**

Natasha looked at the man.

**\- Now, I’m sure I know you... I saw you on that place of heroes.**

The bar owner was serving Natasha. He handed her the drink and Natasha acknowledging him as well.

**N: Luke, right?**

**Luke: Yes. Luke Cage. You seem to be on a bad day.**

**N: Yes, I am.**

**Luke: You’re on the right place, then. Excuse me, I have to atend the others.**

Luke moved away.

**\- Perhaps a little company would make you feel better, Miss Romanoff.**

Natasha looked at the guy next to her and recognized him. It was the lawyer of the divorce, Matt Murdock.

**N: This bar is more popular than I imagined.**

**M: It seems so. Can I seat here?**

**N: Well, the bar is a public place, so...**

Natasha turned to not look at Matt, showing indifference.

Matt sat up and rested his guide on the counter.

**N: Are you alone here?**

**M: Yes.**

**N: But is it safe for you? I mean, you blind walking around alone at this hour... The night is not safe to walk.**

**M: That’s why I love it.**

**N: Have you been born blind? I’m sorry, is that wrong to ask that?**

Natasha was being sarcastic.

**M: No, I lost my vision as a child.**

Matt answered normally.

**N: Uhm...**

Matt ordered a beer and took a sip, with his face in Natasha's direction.

Natasha stared at him and she got the feeling that Matt could actually see her.

**N: Luke? Can I have another shot, please?**

**M: There are few women who like pure vodka.**

**N: I'm Russian and how do you know I’m drinking Vodka?**

**M: I know you’re. I noticed the accent and I know you’re drinking vodka because I can smell it.**

**N: I don’t have an accent.**

Natasha felt offended.

**M: You speak English very well, but I can hear very well too.**

Matt smiled and took another sip of his beer. Natasha was annoyed at how calm Matt is, no one asked him to talk to her or try to talk to her.

**M: Do you like pool?**

Natasha looked at him, her eyebrow raised.

**M: It's very relaxing. You seem to be needing to be distracted.**

Natasha took a deep breath and concluded that it was true.

**N: How does a blind man play pool?**

**M: There's only one way to find out...**

Matt got up and used the guide to walk to the pool tables.

Natasha watched as Matt put the balls on the pool table and he put the balls in the right place, he took two cues that were hanging on the wall and extended one of them in the direction of Natasha.

Natasha was again suspicious of Matt's blindness, she took the resto f the drink in once and stood up.

Natasha went to Matt and got the cue, she was surprised to lose for Matt, already in the first match.

Natasha and Murdock played pool for hours.

**N: Okay, alright! You won.**

**M: I didn’t know you’re a good loser.**

**N: I have a good heart and let you win for pity.**

**M: Keep trying to convince yourself of that.**

****

Natasha laughed and Matt too.

Natasha looked at Matt a little more and she decided that he was and attractive man, even being blind and Natasha thought that she had only been in bed with one man since the accident, Steve, and that’s not how she is.

And, Natasha thought about Steve dating Elisa, if he got late tonight it was because he was having sex with Elisa, maybe he is having sex with her all those days, and she is just being a mom and a worker and it’s time for her to have some fun. It was time for her to go to bed with someone else, she is single, so why not Matt?

**N: Matt?**

**M: Hmm?**

**N: Do you live nearby?**

**M: Yes, in a block away from here.**

**N: Good.**

Natasha was in the tenth glass of Vodka, she drank it at once, then she placed the glass on the bar counter, and pulled Matt by the hand to leave the bar.

Matt paid the bill in a hurry before being dragged out of the bar.

As Natasha stepped out the door of the bar, Natasha held Matt's suit collar with both hands and threw him against the wall, Matt didn’t even have time to react, Natasha slid her body into his and then placed her mouth on his.

Matt let the guide fall to the floor and hugged Natasha's waist, he slipped the palm of his hand under Natasha's blouse to try to get to know her body, he could feel that Natasha has a beautiful body and that she has a body marked by scars.

Natasha frowned as she kissed Matt because he was already with his hands under her shirt and he seemed to be the good, shy and decent guy, but he knows exactly what he's doing. He’s good at it!

Matt held tight to Natasha's waist and lifted her a little from the ground, he turned her body, making her stand against the wall and pressed his body against hers, he let his scaped from Natasha's mouth and slid down to her neck.

Matt touched Natasha's body, as if he was seeing her body through his hands. And all of Matt Murdock's touches were extremely firm. Natasha felt that he was very experienced with women.

**M: We should go to my apartment... I mean... we're on the street... we can be arrested.**

Matt walked away a bit from Natasha and she agreed to go to his home, the two of them were walking to Matt's apartment but they stopped every 5 minutes to make out on the street, there was no one on the street at that hour and Natasha don’t care at all to be seen like that.

The two went up costly to Matt's apartment and they had sex until morning. Natasha didn’t feel any remorse, because in her head, Steve had been having sex with Elisa for a long time, and neither of them owed anything to each other, they’re single, so...

That’s what Natasha repeated all the time to herself.

In the morning, Natasha woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door. She opened her eyes and blinked a few times. She looked around and didn’t recognize where she was, but she remembered everything she did.

Matt yawned and woke up right away.

**N: You have a visitor.**

Matt was slow to wake up fully, he got up from the bed and found a pair of underwear. As he put on his underwear, Matt walked out of the bedroom and went into the living room.

Matt opened the door and it was his assistant Karen.

**K: Matt. Good Morning.**

**M: Karen...**

**K: I came to get you, but you're not even dressed yet...**

****

**M: I'm sorry, I...**

Matt stopped talking because Natasha appeared behind him, wearing only her bra and panties.

Natasha saw her clothes on the floor, she picked it up and got dressed.

Karen looked at Natasha in surprise.

Natasha went to the door, while fixing her hair.

**N: Excuse me.**

Natasha said to Karen and walked by her and Matt.

Natasha left Matt’s place as if nothing had happened, nor did she say goodbye to Matt.

Karen opened her mouth to say something, but the disappointment she was feeling was enormous and she just closed her eyes.

Matt knows that Karen feels something for him, he never corresponded, but also never implied that nothing would ever happen between them.

**K: I think... I'm going.**

**M: Karen...**

**K: It's okay, Matt. I'll ask for a taxi to pick you up when you ready.**

Karen walked away.

...

Natasha stopped by her apartment for a shower, then she went to SHIELD. When she got there, Hill was in a good mood.

**N: You’re so obvious when you finally get some dick.**

**H: I don’t hide it from anyone.**

**N: Well, I spent the night with somebody too.**

Hill rolled her eyes.

**H: Oh let me guess... Steve? Again? And now you’re regret...**

Natasha shook her head and Hill's eyes widened.

**H: It’s not Steve?**

**N: Steve is fucking the waitress now. I told you.**

**H: He is already banging her?**

**N: Of course, why would he wait??**

**H: And how are you with that?**

**N: What do you mean??? I'm great! I had a great night!**

**H: Who? Do I know him?**

**N: I don’t think so. He was the divorce lawyer.**

**H: My God, Natasha. The lawyer who divorced you, that’s so low...**

**N: And he's blind.**

**H: Wow, oh my God. Are you up fot charity now?**

**N: Don’t make jokes, Hill.**

**H: I can’t control myself. I mean, I'm glad you're having fun. So is Steve, so there's nothing wrong with that...**

Natasha smiled faded away a little and Hill noticed.

**H: But of course he still loves you.**

**N: Why are you saying that?**

**H: The love he feels is not easy to just erase from his life. He may be dating someone else, but it's just his cock asking to be sastified. His heart belongs to you.**

**N: You're disgusting, you know that?**

**H: That's true. He's a man, he needs sex more than we do. It surprises me that Steve took so long to go out with another woman...**

**N: Whatever.**

**H: By the way, I want to take Sarah out for a walk on Sunday.**

Natasha frowned.

**N: Why??**

**H: Because... Because... I like her company.**

**N: Hill...**

**H: Seriously. She's funny, I enjoyed that day with her.**

**N: Uhm... it’s okay... I guess.**

Natasha thought it is weird to let Sarah go walk with Hill, just because Hill hate children, but maybe Sarah has soften her heart, just as she softed hers.

**H: Do you know the guy who was with me yesterday?**

**N: Yes.**

**H: Oh God, Natasha...**

Hill rolles her eyes and bit her lower lip.

**N: That good, huh?**

**H: Oh yes!!! So good and I'm going to take him to Tony's party.**

**N: Geez, is that serious?**

**H: No, not that serious, but he is handsome and I want to impress everybody with him. Who are you going with?**

**N: I don’t know if I will.**

**H: It's Clint's birthday!**

**N: I know. Maybe I'll invite Matt.... I don’t know.**

Natasha shrugged.

**H: So it’s gonna have round 2? That’s my girl.**

Hill smiled.

...

Matt accepted Natasha's invitation.

On Saturday night, she arrived with Matt at Tony's mansion.

Tony turned the house into a nightclub practically, lights, smoke, DJ, pole dance, all of more expensive.

As soon as Natasha stepped inside the room, in her fair and low-cut dress, she attracted the attention of men and women, especially Steve’s who was with Elisa, Bucky, Sam and Sharon chatting next to a wall.

Steve stared at Natasha from head to toe involuntarily, and when Natasha arrived the first thing she did, was search for Steve to see his reaction to the way she is dressed.

Natasha noticed the look Steve gave her and felt happy with that.

If he thinks the waitress is better than her, she'll prove to him that she is not.

Natasha grabbed Matt's arm and walked over to Clint Barton. Natasha disguised herself to look over her shoulder at Steve again, to see if he was still looking at her, and he was. Natasha smirked and she made a point of flirting and talking only with Matt Murdock for hours.

Steve was overcome with anger at seeing Natasha with another man, he could barely disguise how uncomfortable he was.

**E: Steve???**

**S: Huh?**

**Sam: Hey, are you in the moonlight, man?**

**S: Sorry. What did you say?**

**E: I was asking if you could get me a drink.**

**S: Oh yeah... Sure.**

Steve moved away to go to Tony's impromptu bar. Rhodey was serving the drinks along with Luke Cage.

Natasha saw Steve at the bar and asked Matt to wait for her that she would pick a drink.

**S: Can you give me a Martini, Rhodey?**

**N: Your date is looking beautiful tonight...**

****

Steve looked to the side and saw Natasha, she was with those fatal stares on him, and she said it in a sarcastic tone. Steve felt his body freeze.

**S: She is indeed.**

**N: What about me?**

**S: What about you?**

**N: Everyone came to compliment me. What about you?**

**S: I don’t have to tell you that you look beautiful, Natasha. You know that.**

**N: Yes. I know...**

Natasha smiled, she gestured to Luke and he served Vodka for her. Natasha took the glass and took a long drink, looking at Steve, who tried as hard as he could to look away from her.

**S: I didn’t know you got so close to my lawyer.**

Natasha shrugged.

**N: It happens...**

**S: Yeah... it does... Excuse me.**

**N: Sure.**

Steve stepped away and moved closer to Elisa again.

Natasha grabbed a beer and took it to Matt.

Thor approached Steve with a bottle.

**Thor: Steve Rogers! Look what I brought for you.**

**S: No, no, I’m not drinkin it.**

**E: And why not? Everyone should have fun.**

Said Elisa hoping that if drunk, Steve would definitely go to bed with her tonight.

**Sam: Relax, Steve, it's a party. Have a drink, man.**

**S: Okay.**

Steve took Thor's bottle and took a sip. Thor smiled and hit Steve on the shoulder.

Later on, Steve eventually got a little drunk because he was drinking slowly.

Tony put on more agitaded songs, Natasha, Carol Danves and Jessica Drew were dancing with the other guests on the dance floor. No matter what Natasha did, she found Steve staring straight at her and that was what she loved.

A little later, Natasha left the dance floor, she went to the bar and ordered a glass of champagne. She took a sip, and even with her back to the party, she could feel someone watching her and she knew it, it was Steve.

Natasha walked to one of the hallways of Tony's mansion, there was no one in there, so she continued to walk slowly, then she turned around and looked directly at Steve, he was following her with his gaze.

Natasha turned her back again and walked down the hall, leaving the party. Atractting her prey straight to her spiderweb.

**E: Oh God, you're so funny! Steve, your friend is a comedy! I am loving this party.**

**S: Huh? Yes. Sam is very funny.**

Steve forced a laugh. He approached his face to Elisa's ear.

**S: I'll be right back.**

Elisa looked at Steve and nodded. She turned to continue the conversation with Sam and Sharon.

Steve took another sip of the Asgard's drink and put the bottle on the table, he approached the hallway where Natasha got in and looked back to see if somebody was watching him go in the same direction as her.

Steve came into the hallway and it was a long one, but there was no sign of Natasha.

There were several doors along the hallway, Steve opened them all and didn’t find Natasha in any of them.

At the end of the corridor, Steve saw a long staircase and on top of it, Natasha was leaning against the handrail, with a glass of champagne in hand.

Natasha looked at Steve and turned her face, she finished going up the stairs and entered one of the bedrooms.

Steve doesn’t know why he was going after her, he couldn’t reason right, he just knew he had to go ater her.

Steve went upstairs and saw the bedroom door open, he approached the door and when he came into the room, he found Natasha standing next to a dresses with her back to him.

Natasha placed the glass on the dresser and looked at Steve over her shoulder.

Steve stared into her eyes, then he closed the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you read my first romanogers stories here? I made a trilogy... even thor, there 4 parts of it, but now I'm translating the 5 part, it's called New Secret Avengers - The Legacy. http://archiveofourown.org/works/12060594  
> I hope you read this one if you had read the other parts, but if you haven't read the others parts, I suggest you to read it. It starts with "Kiss me in the Rain", you cand find on my profile.


	45. I can hate you

**S: What are you doing?**

Natasha turned and looked at Steve, she raised her eyebrows, not understanding the question, or rather pretending not to understand.

**S: Why the lawyer?**

**N: Why the waitress?**

****

**S: Natasha this is completely different.**

**N: How is it different?**

Steve took a deep breath, trying to find an answer to Natasha's question.

**N: Are you liking her? For real?**

**S: Yes.**

Natasha smirked. She took another sip from the glass and Steve was getting more and more annoyed with her behaviour, she was showing that she didn’t believe that he is truly liking Elisa.

**N: I wonder how long it will take for her to know that she means nothing to you.**

**S: What are you talking about?**

Natasha laughed, took another sip and walked to the door, she stopped beside Steve and bumped into him on purpose. She stared at him closely.

**N: You know exactly what I'm talking about.**

Steve was breathing heavily, his nostrils were dilated, and the vein in his forehead was jumping with irritation. Why does Natasha think she knows everything about him?

**S: You're wrong.**

**N: Am I?**

Natasha walked to reach the door, but Steve grabbed her arm. Natasha was forced to stop walking and almost spilled the drink with the way that Steve hold her.

Natasha smiled and frowned at Steve.

**S: Why did you come here?**

**N: Why did you follow me?**

**S: You called me.**

**N: I don’t remember that.**

**S: Why do you have to be like this? I sometimes think I'm capable of hating you.**

Natasha watched Steve's tone and there was truth in his words. Natasha brought her face close to him and brushed her lips over his lips.

**N: I think it would be better for everyone if you hate me. Right?**

Natasha said with her lips close to Steve's. She pulled her arm away from Steve and walked to the door. As she opened the door, Steve put his hand on the door and slammed it to close again.

**S: You're dating him to tease me!**

**N: Me? Do you think my life revolves around you?**

**S: Apparently not.**

Natasha tried to open the door again, but Steve still had his hand on the door, keeping it closed. He used his other hand to hold Natasha's waist and make her turn to him, in a single movement he turned her around and pushed her against the door, making even Natasha's head slam against the door.

Natasha shoved Steve's hand around her waist, Steve shoved Natasha back against the door, she again shoved his hand away and then shoved Steve's body out of the door. Steve took a step back and lost his balance, Natasha pushed him again, making Steve almost fall against an armchair, but she grabbed his jacket and made him stand again.

As he regained his balance, Steve put his hand on the back of Natasha's head and ran his fingers through Natasha's hair and held it tightly, pulling her head back. Natasha struck Steve's wrist with hers, causing him to release her. She pushed him aside and made Steve bump into a desk.

Natasha made Steve lean back on the desk and rode over him. Natasha pressed her lips to Steve's and he bit her mouth hard, this time he made her mouth bleed.

Natasha took her mouth off his. Steve knows she hates bites, and she made him angry, now it's his turn. Steve put both hands on the neckline of Natasha's dress, he held it tightly and tore the front of the dress, ripping Natasha's bra together, leaving her skin all marked with the force he used.

Natasha couldn’t help but smile, even if well disguised. Steve hugged Natasha's waist and pressed her lips to hers again, he moved the tip of his tongue across Natasha's mouth and then he stroked her tongue with his. Steve stood up with her in his lap, he turned her and made her sit down on the table.

Natasha laid her hands on the table as Steve desperately ripped off what was left of her dress, he left Natasha only in her panties. Steve had to stop for a few seconds to catch his breath and be able to admire Natasha's body.

Steve held onto the bar of Natasha's panties and fit his body between her legs. Natasha stretched her neck and Steve rested his nose on her neck, sniffing hard the entire length of her neck. Steve could feel every inch of her skin getting chilled.

Steve grabbed the sides of Natasha's panties firmly and lifted them tightly as he came up with his lips to Natasha's mouth, he sucked on the blood that was dripping from the bite he had given, then gave a quick kiss on the injured lip her, as if apologizing for it.

Steve made Natasha stand up, lifting the sides of her panties and pulling forward. As soon as her feet touched the ground, Steve turned her body, so he would face her back.

Steve's eyes drifted from Natasha’s head to her neck to her shoulders, then down to the perfect lines of her back. Steve lifted her panties further, making her stand on tiptoe.

Natasha bit her lip and tried to look over her shoulder at Steve. She put her hands on the table to balance, since Steve was almost lifting her off the floor.

Steve finally let go of her panties and he patted Natasha's ass. As soon as Natasha felt the spanking she turned and looked at Steve, startled by his attitude.

Steve didn’t even look in her face, he is not sorry and he loves that body too much to want to hurt it. Steve crouched down and massaged the area where he patted, then he kissed her butt and decided to bite it hard.

Natasha screamed in pain and tried to turn again, but Steve hold her hand to keep her from turning.

**S: Sh...**

Steve saw her skin turn purple and kissed repeatedly the area. He lowered Natasha's panties and turned her around, leaving Natasha facing him. Natasha took a deep breath and looked at Steve briefly. The way he looks at her when he's about to fuck her is devastating, she had chills all over body and her body involuntarily shook.

Steve kissed the inside of Natasha's thigh. He ran his teeth through her thigh and threatened to bite, but he was just teasing her. He nibbled on Natasha's thigh until he reached her groin, where he could feel Natasha trembling again.

Steve smiled, he knows she likes it, he knows she likes it when he eats her out and she knows there is no man in this world who will devote himself like him to make her come.

Natasha dug her nails into the desk when she felt the hot air of Steve's mouth touching her clit, she didn’t even notice that she barely breathed, even with her mouth open as it was now.

Steve still lingered a little until he finally touch his lips to Natasha's clit and as soon as he did that, Natasha bowed and struggled to keep her posture.

Steve noticed that Natasha was staring at him all the time, he laid his teeth against Natasha's clit and he could feel that the fear and pleasure she was feeling were so mixed up that she couldn’t react.

Steve didn’t bite, of course, but he slowly dragged his teeth through Natasha's clit from one end to the other, which made Natasha moan and move her hip forward, wanting to feel more of Steve's mouth.

**S: You have to breathe...**

****

Natasha let go of the air she was holding and pulled more air, she was really red from holding her breath for so long.

Steve stuck his tongue out and leaned into Natasha's opening, he licked her clit slowly and slowly increased the intensity.

Natasha scratched the desk and her eyes flipped, she threw her head back and her hips began to move involuntarily, Steve had never made her cum so fast before.

Natasha grabbed Steve's hair and pulled his head away and she felt a temporary weakness in her legs which made her crouch down.

Steve was already crouched, he grabbed Natasha's thighs and made her sit on his lap. Steve grabbed one of Natasha's breasts and sucked hard, causing Natasha to moan higher.

Steve released her breast and did the same on the other breast.

Steve got up holding Natasha and walked with her across the room throwing her into a huge bed. Steve stood in front of the bed and removed his pants, along with his underwear and then his shirt.

Natasha sat down on the bed and brushed her hair off her face, then she stayed on all four and crawled to the edge, pulling Steve closer to her.

The two began a torrid night of love and sex, they completely forgot about the party and with whom they came to the party.

Steve hugged Natasha's waist as he penetrated her, he pressed his lips to Natasha's neck, just below her ear and he began to whisper that she belonged to him and that he hates her for coming with another man to the party and that no other man has the right to touch her, except him.

Natasha turned her face a little and hearing Steve's words of jealousy made her even more horny, she felt involuntary spasms on her body that made her move forward, but Steve pulled her back, he buried his teeth in the shoulder of Natasha and while she whispered in Russian things he couldn’t understand, he finally came.

Natasha came at the same time as Steve, when she felt his thrusts inside her getting much stronger.

Steve sat down, completely exhausted, Natasha couldn’t stay awake as soon as Steve released her body, she lay down and immediately fell asleep.

**S: Natasha?**

Steve was scared to see Natasha that way, he crawled and lay next to her, he brushed the hair off her face.

**S: Nat?**

**N: Hmm...**

Steve heard Natasha moan and he was relieved, he laid her properly on the bed and covered her. Steve sat on the bed and he spent almost an hour watching Natasha sleep, he could tell that her lips were almost smiling.

She is so beautiful that it is hard to believe that she can end his life in a snap.

_Damn the day I laid my eyes on you, Romanoff. Damn day._ Steve thought and lay down next to Natasha, he eventually fell asleep a little later as well.

...

At the party, Elisa looked around and didn’t see Steve anywhere.

Sam: He must have gone to the bathroom, I'll check for you.

Sam went to the bathroom and Bucky kept talking to Elisa. Sam returned ten minutes later.

**Sam: Has he come here yet?**

**B: No.**

**E: Where could he have gone?**

**Sam: I don’t know, he's not to disappear like that.**

**E: I'll call him.**

Elisa called Steve repeatedly, she was worried and irritated at the same time.

**Sam: Something happened to make him go away like that. He would never leave you here like this for no reason, I bet that soon he appears here.**

Elisa folded her arms and she was more worried than feeling abandoned, she wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it.

Sam and Sharon kept company for Elisa until 3 in the morning and when Elisa finally got tired of waiting, she said she was going home, so Bucky offered to take her home.

Matt noticed that Natasha had left the party very earlier, he sensed that she was movingo to a corridor and he could hear when another person followed her there. Matt also sensed that Natasha wouldn’t come back to the party, and as he has nothing romantic with her, he didn’t care.

Matt talked to several people, he enjoyed the party and around midnight, Pepper called a cab for Matt to leave.

Now that it's 4 o'clock in the morning, the few remaining guests are drunk and thrown on the couches and even on the floor.

Bobbi and Clint were making out on the wall next to the bar, both super drunk.

**B: I have a birthday present for you...**

**C: Oh yeah? What is it, babe?**

Bobbi moved away from Clint, staying with her back to him, then she leaned a bit, making her butt go up a little, and she tried to look at it, indicating the presente for Clint.

Clint raised his eyebrows and hugged Bobbi from behind, filling her neck with kisses.

**B: Shh... Not here, Barton!**

**C: Then let's go home.**

**B: No... I want to give your birthday present at your birthday party.**

**C: Wow, naughty!**

Bobbi grabbed Clint's shirt and pulled him into the hall.

**C: Bobbi! Hey, Bobbi, Bobbi... this is Stark's house, we can’t... Bobbi...**

**Bobbi started to laugh and released Clint as she started to go up the stairs.**

Bobbi stumbled and Clint ran to her.

**C: Babe, are you okay?**

Bobbi started to laugh and nodded, she was too drunk and thought that was funny.

**B: Sh...**

**C: Shhh...**

**B: Let's...**

Bobbi got up and Clint followed her up the stairs, looking back to see if there was someone coming after them.

Bobbi leaned against the first door of the hall and turned to Clint, who grabbed her waist and kissed her.

**B: Open the door...**

**C: Okay!**

Clint was trying to find the door handle.

**B: Open it!**

**C: I'm trying!**

Clint couldn’t find the doorknob, when he finally found it, he opened the door and forgot that the two were leaning on it, the two fell to the floor and began to laugh.

**C: Jesus Christ, we’re too drunk!**

Clint looked around and noticed that the room was destroyed, he frowned and then stared at Steve, who was sitting on the bed looking at them both with a look of astonishment.

**C: Uh... Bobbi?**

**B: What??**

**C: I... I think I'm gay.**

**B: What???**

Clint shook his head and looked back at Steve.

**C: Steve? Are you really here?**

****

**S: Yes! What are you, guys, doing here?**

**C: Oh, thank God you’re really here! I thought I was having sexual fantasies with you and that you were my imagination...**

Clint was very relieved, he really thought Steve was part of his imagination and right in the moment that he is about to get his birthday present. Alcohol does those things.

Clint got up and helped Bobbi to get up, Bobbi didn’t look at Steve, Clint pushed Bobbi out of the room, he put his finger in front his mouth, looking at Steve, while closing the door

**C: Sh... Don’t tell Stark. You didn’t see me.**

Clint closed the door, then he opened it again to look at Steve, and then to the woman in bed, beside him.

**C: Oh! Wait! Is that...**

**B: Clint!!!**

****

Clint looked at Bobbi in the hallway, who had already taken off her dress and tossed it away on the floor. Clint gave up knowing who was with Steve and ran after Bobbi shoving her into the next room.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm reducing the sex scenes, bc in english it's too weird to describe since I don't dominate the language. Sorry.


	46. Sorry

Early the next morning, after insisting for Pepper Potts stay and sleep with him, Tony Stark gave up when she firmly said no. They both were the last at the party, and they talked until dawn.

Tony asked the driver Happy to leave Pepper at her home, Tony stopped and looked at the completely ruined and filthy room of the party.

**T: JARVIS, run the cleaning servisse, please.**

**_JARVIS: Yes, sir._ **

**T: I'm going to sleep, I'm out for anyone who may call.**

Tony took the glass of whiskey off the counter and drank. He walked slowly down the hall and by the staircase, removing his tie.

When Tony arrived on the second floor, he walked straight to his bedroom, he opened door and frowned to see his room all messy.

**T: Damn party-goers! They came to party here! In my private suite.**

Tony complained for himself.

Natasha woke up when she heard Tony's voice and as she started to move on the bed, she ended up waking Steve up too.

Natasha sat up, yawned, and looked at Tony, feeling a little confuses abou what happened and where she was.

Tony didn’t pay atention to his bed and just now that Natasha was sitting on the bed, that he noticed that he wasn’t alone.

Tony looked at Natasha, completely naked and his eyes widened. Tony looked back to the door and back to Natasha again, feeling confused too about what was going on..

**T: Are you... really naked in my bed?**

****

Tony frowned, confused.

**T: Alright, alright, I get it... I knew that this day would come... But I'll warn you that I'm very very tired of the party, so my performance won’t be that great but we sure can enjoy and...**

Tony said, unbuttoning his pants, but he stopped when he saw Steve sitting down, he had only seen Natasha, Steve was under the duvet. Tony held up his hands in the air, feeling upset.

**T: Oh no, goddammit, Dorito!**

Steve sat up and looked at Natasha, he saw that her breasts were almost exposed and he pulled the sheet covering her, Natasha looked at him with a frown.

Tony pointed to the bed, then he laid his index finger on his chin.

**T: I'm trying to understand what is going on here, guys, because you...**

Tony pointed at Steve.

**T: ...came with the hot waitress and you...**

Tony pointed at Natasha.

**T: ... with the blind guy... And now you're here together. What are you doing here?**

**N: I think you know the answer to that question.**

Steve frowned and when Tony mentioned the waitress, he remembered Elisa and that he left her alone at the party, Steve felt extremely guilty.

Steve looked at Tony.

**S: Is Elisa still there?**

**T: Of course not.**

**S: When did she leave?**

**T: I don’t know. I was not paying attention, but hang on... Did you have sex in my bed?**

**N: Not just in the bed.**

Tony had his hand on his desk, then he removed his hand and tried to clean rubbing on his clothes, making a disgusted face.

Steve got up and searched for his clothes to wear, Tony spotted Steve's ass and seemed like he was going to vomit.

**T: Yucks! I've seen Dorito's ass and I'm still going to have to have this room burned and make another.**

Tony left and closed the door, Steve started to dress in a hurry, but he paused for a moment and looked at Natasha.

Natasha gave a small smile and Steve felt guilty again, for getting up quickly and already getting ready to leave, without saying anything to her.

**N: It meant nothing, right?**

****

**S: That's not it.**

**N: I know. You're together now.**

**S: I shouldn’t have done that. Not because of you, but it's wrong because of Elisa.**

Steve continued to get dressed and when he was on his way to the door, Natasha called him.

**N: Steve?**

Steve stopped and turned to look at Natasha.

**N: What are you going to tell her?**

**S: The truth.**

Natasha chuckled and shook her head.

**N: That will only make her hate you.**

**S: I don’t know what to say, I'll think about something on the way. I am so sorry to leave you like this...**

Steve doesn’t know why he is apologizing if Natasha had done this to him, several times, but he can’t help to feel really sorry about it.

**N: It's okay. Just tell her that the kids had an emergency while you were in the bathroom and you had to rush to rescue them.**

Steve nodded. He turned to walk away.

**N: Steve?**

Steve stopped again and looked at Natasha.

**N: I know she's nice and good, she seems to be the right one for you.**

****

**S: You talk like if you're not.**

**N: We both know I'm not.**

**S: I don’t know anything about that. I really need to go. Excuse me.**

**N: Alright.**

Steve left the room, but when he reached the stairs he stopped and returned to the bedroom.

**S: Natasha?**

Natasha stared at Steve, hoping that he has change his mind and will stay with her, beg again for her love, she looked at him with hope.

**S: Can you get the kids and stay with them for me, please?**

Wow, what a cold shower he gave on her now. Natasha was hurt, but she disguised well.

**N: On the weekends they're mine, so... don’t worry.**

Natasha nodded, Steve left her and went straight to Elisa's diner.

When Steve arrived there, the manager informed him that Elisa hasn’t showed up for work, that she called, claiming she wasn’t feeling good. Steve was worried even more now, so he went to Elisa's house.

...

Elisa answered the door when the doorbell rang. She looked at Steve without reaction.

**S: Elisa...**

Elisa threatened to close the door, but Steve held the door, preventing it.

**E: Do you have any idea how I felt? I didn’t know anyone at that party! Everyone saw that you left me there! I felt like the most idiot person in the world!**

**S: Elisa, I'm terribly sorry, I have no words to describe how sorry I am.**

**E: Why did you do it???**

**S: Elisa, I...**

Steve was determined to tell the truth, that he disappeared with Natasha and that was wrong with her, but he could see how much Elisa was already devastated.

Steve took a deep breath and decided to use the excuse Natasha made for him...

**S: I'm sorry, but Sarah, my daughter... She had a fever, I left a minute to hear the call better and the nanny told me she was desperate and I... I’m sorry, I should have come back and warned you. There is no excuse for my actions.**

Elisa remained quiet and watching Steve, she was still mad, but if the kids are the reason, she can’t be that mad.

**E: I could have gone along with you. How is she?**

**S: She... she's fine, she's with her mother.**

Elisa was silent again, analyzing Steve and his story, she concluded that it was true, what other reason would he have to leave her there alone, anyway?

**E: I felt very rejected, Steve.**

**S: I'm sorry.**

**E: I understand that your children are a priority, but can you guarantee that the problem is not with me?**

****

Elisa was still threatening to cry, Steve had to lie once more.

**S: I assure you, it's not you.**

**E: And your ex?**

Steve frowned and felt his heart race.

**E: Is she still a problem for both of us? If so, tell me now, because I won’t want to see you anymore, I don’t need this drama in my life.**

Steve opened his mouth and no word was coming from it, he can’t lie that much, so he put his hand on his waist and everything he could do was make negative with his head.

Elisa seemed relieved.

**E: Do you want to come in?**

**S: W-well... Yes.**

Elisa stepped out the door and Steve stepped inside.

...

In the afternoon, as agreed, Hill went to get Sarah at Natasha's apartment.

Hill rang the bell and waited... and waited.

**H: Oh for God’s sake! Fix this fucking bell, Natasha!**

Hill remembered that the doorbell didn’t work, so she knocked on the door and Natasha opened the door, holding Sarah in her lap.

**Sarah: Maria!!!**

**H: Hi. Hi, come on, let’s go.**

Hill was going to get Sarah from Natasha's lap, but Natasha stepped back with Sarah and looked at Hill with a frown.

**N: Where are you going?**

**H: What do you mean?**

**Sarah: To the park!**

Hill looked at Sarah who winked. Hill nodded.

**H: Yes, yes, to the park.**

Hill tried to get Sarah again, but Natasha again moved Sarah away.

**N: Hill...**

**H: What??**

**N: This is just so weird.**

Hill looked at Natasha and sighed.

**N: Should I worry? Are you putting her in danger? Are you with some mini-spy programa t SHIELD?**

**H: Natasha! SHIELD is not KGB, you know that. Besides, she's your daughter, so it means she's part of me...**

Natasha frowned and then smiled.

**N: Aw, that’s nice, look at you being a sweetheart.**

**H: Shut up and I'll be late. Give me her!**

Hill finally got Sarah in her lap.

James came running from the room.

**J: Why can’t I go?**

Natasha and James looked at Hill, waiting for an answer.

**H: Because after the park, we going to the... to the.... What’s the name again?**

**Sarah: Mall!**

**H: Yeah, yeah, the mal and to the hair saloon, we’re going to have our nails done and our hairs and... and we're going to buy dresses and stuff, we just thought you wouldn’t want to go along.**

James was thoughtful.

**J: You're right. That’s a girl thing. I will stay here.**

**H: Oh, good boy!**

Hill was relieved.

**H: Bye, Bye everyone!**

**Sarah: Bye Jamies, by mama.**

Sarah waved at Natasha. Hill set her down, and after she left Natasha's building, she took her to Henry's house.

Hill rang the bell, and as she waited to be answered, she looked at Sarah.

**H: Remember to call me Mommy or mom...**

**Sarah: All right, Mom.**

Sarah started to laugh.

Henry opened the door and smiled to see Hill, Hill approached to give a quick kiss in Henry, but he turned aside and looked at Sarah.

**Henry: Does she already know about us?**

Henry whispered, but Sarah listened.

**Sarah: You're mom's new boyfriend, right?**

Henry was embarrassed and smiled.

**H: She already knows. We tell each other everything.**

**Henry: Well, that’s... great. So, come in.**

Henry smiled.

**Henry: My daughter is waiting for you, Sarah.**

**Sarah: Nice!**

Sarah ran to play with Henry's daughter, Hill hugged Henry and finally was able to kiss him.

After having their momentos, the two of them approached the girls and while they were watching the kids playing, they talked on the couch for hours.

Henry prepared the table for them to eat and when everyone sat down to eat, Sarah put the cake on the plate, lowered her head and looked very sad.

Henry and Hill looked at her, worried.

**Henry: Sarah? Is everything all right?**

Sarah shrugged then made negative with her head.

****Sarah: I don’t know... I guess I'm a bit sad.** **

****** **

Hill frowned, looking at Sarah suspiciously.

**Henry: What happened?**

**Sarah: It's just... It's just that my mom promised that she was going to buy me the new Barbie mansion today. But she said she won’t anymore just because she has to go out with you...**

Sarah was already crying now, Hill was glaring at Sarah, schocked with her invented story.

Henry was worried.

**Henry: Oh no, don’t cry. Don’t worry, we're not going out, Okay? Right, Hill?**

Henry looked at Hill and she had to pretend to be worried about Sarah.

**Henry: Or... We can all go out now and buy your Barbie mansion. My daughter already has one of these.**

**Sarah: Really?**

**Henry: Yes. You know what? I'll give you the Barbie Mansion. What about that? Are you Happy now?**

Sarah smiled and clapped her hands.

**Sarah: Oh, yeah!!! Thank you, Henry, you’re the best.**

Sarah looked at Hill and the smile on her face was so similar to someone Hill knows. Hill could swear that her smile was the same as Natasha's when she's being sarcastic.

Hill didn’t know if she wanted to kill Sarah or if she really wanted her as her daughter.

When they went to the mall to buy the toy Sarah wanted, she persuaded Hill to buy something for James, otherwise Natasha would be suspicious.

In the late afternoon, Hill was returning Sarah.

Natasha saw Sarah with a huge bag and Hill handing a gift to James.

Natasha looked at Hill.

**N: Hill...**

**H: She insisted and she's very very annoying, I had to buy it, it has nothing to do with feelings.**

**N: You love her.**

**H: I don’t.**

**Sarah: She loves me!**

Sarah smiled.

**H: I need to go.**

Hill left and Natasha went to see what Sarah and James had won. Natasha checked the time and it was already for Steve have appeared to pick up the children.

Natasha still waited another three hours to call Steve's cell phone, and when she called, he didn’t answer. Only at the octave attempt it was stablished a conection.

**_E: Hello?_ **

Natasha changed her expression as she heard Elisa's voice answering Steve's cell phone. So he really went after her and they already made up and God knows what else they did during all the day, and right after he spent the night with her.

Natasha couldn’t answer, she was too angry, she hung up the phone.

...

A few minutes earlier, Elisa saw who was calling Steve’s phone and she made a point of answering the call, since Steve was in the Bathroom.

Steve left the bathroom and looked at Elisa with his cell phone in her hand.

**S: Who was it?**

**E: Oh... nobody.**

Elisa lied and smiled.

**S: Nobody?**

Steve frowned.

**E: It was a mistake. The person was looking for someone else or some service... I don’t remember.**

Elisa smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elisa does not want to share Steve's atention


	47. Barack Obama

Steve showed up late at Natasha's apartment to pick up the kids.

**S: Sorry I'm late.**

**N: They are asleep.**

Steve looked at Natasha with guilty and she could tell that, she thought that he must have slept with her and soon after he had slept with her herself.

Natasha tried to remember that it was her who provoked all this, that she helped him to be with another woman so she has no right to be angry.

**S: I’m sorry, can I...?**

Natasha walked out of the door and Steve came in, he looked at the kinds lying on the couch, he stopped and turned to Natasha.

**S: Natasha, I...**

**N: You don’t have to apologize, Steve. For anything.**

**S: It's just...**

**N: I know. It's okay, I'm with Matt and you with Elisa...**

Natasha shrugged and made it look like she has something solid with Matt, and she has not.

**N: We both drank and made a mistake.**

****

Steve was about to say that the night hadn’t been in vain, that meant something for him, but when he heard Natasha mention about Matt it was enough to break Steve's heart and make him angry again.

Steve took a deep breath and just nodded, he was right to insist on Elisa, Natasha is not coming back to him.

Steve got James on his lap and then Sarah, he is was already used to carry both of them without difficulty.

Steve walked by Natasha and didn’t look at her before leaving, when he reached the elevator, Natasha went to the door.

**N: I'll pick them up at school tomorrow.**

Steve turned and nodded.

Natasha closed the door and felt hungry, she ordered a pizza and while waiting, she was trying to understand why she always says things that she knows it will hurt Steve. If he saw her with Matt yesterday, she didn’t have to repeat about being with him. Maybe, deep down, she's sabotaging Steve's relationship with Elisa.

After half an hour when the bell rang, Natasha received the pizza, she paid and ate the pizza almost all of it, then she remembered what she did with Matt.

**N: Shit!**

Natasha sighed and thought to leavabout going out to see Matt, but she is not in condition for that at the moment, she is still tired of the night with Steve and Matt would not to let her come back or be with her there withou doing something.

Natasha also concluded that she does not have to apologize to Matt, in any relationship she had to apologize for her acts, if somebody is upset with her she just move on to the next person.

Natasha went to sleep and in the middle of the night, she woke to go to the bathroom and when she left the bathroom, she felt her stomach snoring again. Natasha ate the rest of the pizza and still ate half a pot of sweet milk she had in the fridge.

...

In the morning, Steve woke James and then Sarah, and gave breakfast for them and had them ready to go to school.

**J: But Dad there is no class today.**

**S: How not?**

Steve frowned.

**J: It's a holiday, Dad.**

**S: Holiday?**

Steve got up and looked at the schedule of James's school, then he looked at Sarah's.

**S: Oh my, you really don’t have class today.**

**Sarah: Yay! Let's go to the park!**

**S: I can’t, babe, I have an urgent appointment at work. I'll call the nanny to be with you.**

Steve called Laura who said she was busy for half a morning, but that she could pick them up at 10 o'clock. So Steve asked Laura to pick them up at the Avengers Base because he would have to take them there.

Steve looked at James and Sarah.

**S: Alright. You’re going to work with me.**

**J: Wow, really dad?? Awesome! I want to go to Uncle Tony's lab.**

**S: No. No way, you're going to sit quietly at the reception, waiting for the babysitter to arrive, okay?**

**J: But he let me.**

**S: But I don’t.**

**J: Why?**

**S: Because it's dangerous. Let's go.**

Steve got ready, and went with the kids to the Avengers Base, as soon as they arrived at the front desk, Carol Danvers and Jessica Drew approached Steve and the children.

**Carol: Hiiii cutie pies.**

Sarah already covered her cheeks and tried to hide behind Steve.

**Carol: Hey, don’t you like Aunt Carol and Jess anymore?**

**S: She does not like when you keep squeezing her cheek. And you two always do this...**

**Carol: Awn, I'm sorry. She's so cute. I can’t avoid.**

**Jess: James, you're getting so handsome, I think I'll wait for you to grow up to date you.**

**Carol: Jessica, for God’s sake. He's going to date my daughter.**

**J: I hate girls!**

**\- But girls are better than boys!!!**

James turned back and spotted Thor's daughter, her nose up, her eyebrown raised and her arms folded.

Thor approached Steve and greeted him, shaking his hand. Tony arrived shortly after and stared at the children and frowned.

**T: Hey, JARVIS, please check if we can already call this Avengers Daycare Base.**

**S: They won’t cause any trouble, Tony. The nanny will pick them up in about one hour.**

**T: My kids don’t cause any trouble. Well... maybe just this one.**

Tony laid his hand on Sarah's head, who frowned and straightened her hair.

**T: She is a girl and a little annoying, you know, she must be yours for real, Steve. What about the other kid here...**

Tony looked at Torunn.

**T: Yucks, it’s a girl too, so... Ooouch!!!**

Tony bent over to put his hand on his ankle. Torunn kicked him hard and for being Thor's daughter she has a tremendous strength for her age.

**T: But what did you give to this child?**

**S: Tony, let's start the reunion soon!**

**T: Come on, Bucky and Sam are already up there, just missing Barton.**

**S: Let's get ahead.**

Steve crouched down to stare at James and Sarah.

**S: Behave, okay? The nanny is coming.**

**Thor: Nanny? Great, can she stay with Torunn?**

**S: I... I don’t know, Thor.**

**Thor: At least she would be distracted by playing with her little mortals friends.**

Sarah looked up to look at Thor.

**Sarah: You're huge!**

**Thor: I am a God!**

**Sarah: God? But your daughter is a girl!**

**J: What's wrong with that?**

**Sarah: Son of God is Jesus, how can she be a girl?**

Saraha was confused.

Steve sighed.

**S: Sarah, later daddy will explain that to you. Give me a kiss.**

Sarah kissed Steve's face and he left with Tony and Thor for the meeting.

Sarah, James, and Torunn stood at the reception looking at each other.

**Torunn: I am stronger than you and when I grow up, I will be stronger than everyone else.**

**J: No more than my father.**

**T: I will be more than him.**

**J: You will not!**

**T: Yes, I will, my father is stronger than yours.**

**J: No.**

****

**Sarah: He's not!**

**T: Yes he is! He's stronger than everyone else.**

**J: Don’t mind her, Sarah.**

James and Sarah walked away from Torunn, who frowned and went after them.

**T: How dare you leave me alone?**

**J: You're boring.**

**Sarah: We don’t like you.**

**T: What? Of course you like me, play with me.**

**J: No!**

**T: You can’t say no to me.**

Hill and Natasha were coming to the meeting with the Avengers and they were surprised to see the three children at the reception.

**Sarah: Mama!**

**N: Shouldn’t you be at school?**

**J: We do not have class today.**

**N: And Steve brought you here?**

James nodded.

**N: If I had done that, he would be making a fuss!**

Natasha felt her hand being shaked, she looked at the small, blonde-faced figure.

**T: James's mom, James said he will not play with me.**

Natasha frowned, not understanding why Torunn is complaining about this with her. Torunn stood still, waiting for Natasha to react.

Hill cleared her throat, Natasha looked at her and Hill signaled that Natasha should solve the issue, but Natasha didn’t know how.

**N: Hm...**

Natasha let go of Torunn's hand.

**N: You know what, Hill will talk to you about it, because... I have a very important meeting and... and... Excuse me.**

Natasha saw the door of the elevator about to close and ran in time to get in, leaving Hill outside. Hill cursed Natasha in her mind.

Hill looked at Torunn and then at James.

**H: Why you don’t want to play with her?**

**J: She's boring. She said her dad is stronger than mine.**

**H: Is that true, Torunn?**

Torunn shrugged, saying she didn’t know. She does not understand human reactions, she's just used to her parents and Asgard.

**H: James, did you know that Torunn came from another planet?**

**J: Huh?**

James looked at Torunn who nodded.

**J: Lie.**

**H: True, they come from a place called Asgard.**

**J: What's in there?**

**T: Too much gold.**

**J: Are you rich?**

**T: I think so.**

**J: Do you have lots of toys?**

**T: Yes.**

**Sarah: Really? Well, if you let me play with your toys, I play with you.**

Torunn looked at Sarah and nodded.

Hill shook her head, because Sarah is always wanting something in exchange for something else... Hill took the oportuninty that the kids were starting to get along, to board the elevator and go to the meeting.

**T: But I'm not with the toys here.**

**Sarah: Oh...**

**J: But we can play something else.**

**T: Like what?**

**Sarah: Of being mom, dad and baby.**

**J: Oh God, no, Sarah.**

**T: You would be the baby, because you’re the youngest and that means I would be the mom and James the father.**

Torunn made a disgusted face.

**J: Yucks!**

James also made a disgusted face.

**T: Yuckes twice!!! Let’s play other, what else do you like to play?**

**J: Catch!**

**T: Okay! I like that!**

Torunn and James smiled to each other.

**Sarah: But I don’t like it.**

**J: Then you don’t play.**

**Sarah: But I'm going to be alone?**

**J: Yes.**

Sarah scratched her head and threatened to cry.

**Sarah: Jamie.**

James pushed Sarah close to the reception table and put his finger in her face.

**J: Don’t start it, Sarah. Don’t cry, if you cry, I'll tell Dad that you didn’t stay quiet and he'll fight you.**

Sarah lowered her head, ready to scream, because when she wants to cry for real, she cries so loud that Steve would be able to hear her from any place at that Base, but she didn’t scream because the receptionist looked at Sarah.

**\- Honey, don’t care about them, they're big and silly. Here.**

The receptionist held out a jar of candy for Sarah and she picked three candys.

**\- Better?**

Sarah nodded.

**\- And how about you being my helper while your nanny does not arrive? Would you like that?**

Sarah nodded and smiled, the receptionist placed a chair next to her, and Sarah sat down.

Soon after the receptionist, named Rose, saw the blue telephone ring and she was startled, because only the president of the United States calls to that number.

The receptionist picked up the phone and when she was about to say a “Hello, Mr. Presidente”, she saw Torunn running all the way to a glass partition, without stopping.

Torunn bumped into the glass, which broke instantly because she is very Strong. The receptionist gasped and dropped the phone to help Torunn, because there was glass falling everywhere and she was afraid it would hurt her and James who was around.

Sarah looked at the mess Torunn did, and noticed the phone dropped on the table and as she was the helper, she had to help by answering the call for the recepcionist.

Sarah picked up the phone.

**_Sarah: Hellooooouuu? Helloooouuu._ **

**__ **

**_President Barack Obama: Hello? Wait... Is it a child? Did you call it right, Joe?_ **

The presidente was speaking to his helper in the background.

**\- The number is correct, sir.**

**_Sarah: Hello? Hello?_ **

**_Barack Obama: Hi._ **

**_Sarah: Hi! Who is it?_ **

**_BO: Me? I am... Barack... I think I called the wrong number..._ **

The president checked with his helper once again and he confirmed it was right.

**_BO: Hello there. What's your name?_ **

**_Sarah: Sarah._ **

**_BO: Sarah?_ **

**_Sarah: Rogers. Sarah Rogers._ **

**_BO: Sarah_ ** **_Rogers? Is your father Captain America?_ **

**_Sarah: Yes. Who do you want to talk to? Do you wanna talk to him? He is not here right now._ **

**_BO: Oh, I see._ ** **_Is Rose in there?_ **

Sarah nodded and forgot she was on the phone and the president couldn’t see her.

**_BO: Sarah? Can I talk to Rose?_ **

**_Sarah: Hm... She's busy._ **

**_BO: Busy? Even for me?_ **

**_Sarah: Yes._ **

**_BO: But I am the president._ **

**_Sarah: So what? Goodbye._ **

**_BO: Sarah, Sarah, do not hang up. Wait!_ **

Rose was helping Torunn to get up, who was laughing and started chasing after James again, she didn’t suffer any scratches.

Rose saw Sarah talking on the blue phone and nearly fainted, she ran and took the phone from Sarah hands, she apologizes and transfered the call to the Avengers' meeting room.

**Tony Stark: Mr. President, you are on the speaker, all avengers are present.**

**_BO: What about SHIELD?_ **

**Hill: We're here, sir.**

**_BO: Great. Tony, you can go ahead and tell them about our little problem. I count on you all to solve this problem for me and the country._ **

**T: Alright, sir.**

**_BO: And Rogers?_ **

Steve was startled when the president spoke directly to him.

**_BO: Your daughter seems to be quiet a figure. I want you and your wife and children to come and visit me for dinner._ **

Steve and Natasha looked at each other.

**S: Sir, I...**

**_BO: I do not take no for an answer._ **

The president hung up and Steve was wondering how he knows about Sarah.

...

Clint was arriving at the Avengers Base by car, he saw the Rogers' nanny walking down the sidewalk, he honked, smiled and waved to Laura. She was startled at first, but then recognized him, she waved back and tucked her hair behind her ear.

Barton opened the car door, offering a ride.

**L: Oh! Thank, but I'm getting closer.**

**C: Come on, I make a point of driving you there.**

Laura stopped for a second and seemed to be thoughtful, then she smiled and nodded.

**L: Okay. Thanks.**

Laura stepped into the car awkwardly and smiled, she noticed a boy in the car.

**L: Oh, is that your son?**

**C: Oh... No, he's my nephew, he's going to spend a few days with me, his mother is a bit sick.**

**L: Is that so? Poor thing.**

Laura stared at the boy.

**L: What is your name, sweetheart?**

The boy was in a bad mood and didn’t answer.

**C: Francis. His name is Francis.**

**L: How old is he?**

**C: Six.**

**L: I love children.**

Barton looked at Laura and smiled.

**C: Do you have how many?**

**L: Me? You mean of my own?**

Clint nodded.

**L: None.**

**C: How not? You love kids.**

**L: I still can’t afford to having it.**

**C: How many do you want?**

**L: I guess, at least four.**

****

Clint gasped and widened his eyes.

**C: Four? At least?**

**L: Yes. All girls, if possible.**

**C: Good luck to your husband.**

**L: I am not married.**

**C: You’re not married??**

**L: No...**

Laura smiled and Clint parked in the Base garage. Francis got out of the car with his arms folded.

**L: Are you bringing him to work?**

**C: His mother took me by surprise, I have no one to watch him.**

**L: I can watch him for you.**

**C: Oh no, you already have the Rogers kids.**

**L: One more makes no difference, they can play together.**

**C: Thank you. How much does this cost?**

**L: I'm not charging.**

Laura smiled at Clint who couldn’t help but be silly with her smile.

Bobbi was at the receptcion desk playing with Sarah when she saw Clint, she ran up to him and kissed his lips, causing Laura to look away.

**Bobbi: I was waiting for you to go to the meeting. Let's go?**

**C: Yes. Francis, behave okay? Obey Laura.**

Francis didn’t answer, Clint handed Laura a card.

**C: For any emergency.**

**L: We’ll be fine.**

Clint went up with Bobbi.

Sarah ran to Laura and hugged her legs.

**Sarah: Laura!**

**L: Sarah. Are you Okay, honey? Where is your brother?**

**\- Thank God you're here!**

The recepcionista said, she seemed relieved.

**\- I can’t take it any more, please take them with you.**

**L: Who is that girl?**

Laura frowned at seeing Torunn.

**Sarah: She's Jesus.**

Laura looked at Sarah and frowned, confused.

**Sarah: But she's also called Torunn.**

**L: What do you mean, Jesus?**

Sarah shrugged her shoulders and raised her hands in the air.

**Sarah: I don’t know, daddy said he'll explain later.**

Laura called James and Torunn, who came running.

James looked at Francis who ignored all of them.

**Torunn: Who is he?**

**L: This is Francis Barton.**

**T: Hi.**

**J: Do you want to play?**

**F: I don’t play with losers.**

Francis pushed James to the floor.

Sarah and Torunn opened their mouths in amazement. Sarah started to laugh then.

**Sarah: Well done, that’s what you got for being mean to me, James.**

**L: Francis, that was very bad. You don’t hit a friend. Apologize now.**

**F: Make me.**

**L: Apologize right now, I’m not kidding, you won’t like when I get mad and I’m getting mad, do you wanna try me?**

Francis was serious, he was facing Laura, but her way of talking made him unconfortable, he looked down.

**L: Apologize and we can all have icecream.**

**F: Sorry...**

Francis rolles his eyes.

**L: Nice.**

Laura smiled.

**L: Don’t do that anymore, okay? Let's go now.**

The receptionist watched Laura's ability to control all the children.

**\- Shall I call a car to take you?**

She asked.

**L: No, we'll get the bus.**

**T: Bus? I don’t walk on buses.**

**L: Neither do I. I just sit on a bus and the driver takes me to places.**

**F: It's dangerous.**

**J: I like to go on bus trip.**

Torunn and Francis frowned, but as soon as they entered the bus for the first time, they sat on all the seats and couldn’t stop running around, they were very excited.

...

Natasha looked at Clint.

**N: Clint? Give me your chocolate.**

**C: What?**

**N: I know you have. Give it to me.**

**C: It's mine.**

**N: I'm hungry, please.**

Natasha reached out and Clint put the chocolate in her hand.

Natasha ate the chocolate and Hill made negative with her head, Natasha eating in the middle of the meeting is a sign that she’s not concentrated and that is very rare, something was going on.

As soon as Tony explained the mission, everybody started to get up to leave.

Natasha told Hill that she needed lunch.

**H: Let's go to a decent restaurant, I don’t want eat here.**

**N: There's no time.**

**H: How not?**

**N: I'm very hungry.**

**H: Natasha, you had like four pancakes on the way over here.**

**N: I know, I'm just very hungry. If you don’t want to eat, at least wait for me. I'll be right back.**

Natasha ran to the dining room, Steve saw Natasha running off and stood next to Hill.

**S: What's happening?**

**H: I don’t even want to imagine what's happening.**

Hill shook her head and Steve frowned, not understanding what she was talking about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops... what is going on with Natasha, any guess?


	48. Pre Obama's Mission

**N: Like what?**

**H: Hungry all the time, and you're feeling hungrier than you used to be when you were...**

Natasha frowned, confused.

**N: What? I was what?????**

**H: Pregnant.**

Natasha grinned, then laughed, she leaned her head against the seat, and laughed even more, but gradually she stopped, because Hill was not laughing.

Natasha looked serious and looked Hill in the eyes. Hill didn’t have to repeat what Natasha asked in her mind. Hill just nodded and noticed the seriousness on Natasha's face.

**H: I'll be here.**

Natasha sighed and looked at the hospital, it took minutes before she opened the car door. Natasha left the car, she took a step, and stopped. She turned to look at Hill.

**N: I can’t do it.**

**H: It's the only way to know.**

**N: I don’t want to know, I don’t want to be pregnant!**

**H: You can face this now or later, but at some point, you will have to know if you are or not.**

Natasha took a deep breath and went to the hospital, she went up to the third floor and waited for Cho, who appeared a few minutes later to call her inside the room.

**Cho: So... What are we feeling today? Something in the head? Any pain?**

Natasha shook her head.

**N: Hill thinks... I should do a checkup.**

**Cho: Yeah, I asked you to come so many times, why now? What** **made you change your mind? Feeling something different?**

Natasha was super serious, she shook her head.

**Cho: Well, I'm going to schedule your exams for another day then, Hill told me it was urgent, but if you’re not feeling anything... Just go to my rsecretary and schedule these exams, once ready, you'll call me. All right?**

Cho wrote the exams on paper and handed it to Natasha, who seemed to be in a state of lethargy.

When Cho turned to leave, Natasha called for her again.

**N: Doctor?**

Cho stopped and looked at Natasha.

**N: Let's just say that I’m... I mean... Hill thinks I'm pregnant... What are the chances of this being true?**

Cho looked at Natasha and understood her nervousness, it was the same thing with James and Sarah.

**Cho: Well if you have an active sex life, there is a 50% chance. Weren’t you taking contraceptives?**

**N: Yes! Yes!**

Natasha breathed a sigh of relief and smiled to herself. How could she forget that she was on the pill? It is impossible that she is pregnant.

**N: Sorry for the scare, I had forgotten.**

**Cho: Natasha, there is still a possibility.**

**N: Huh?**

**Cho: Contraceptives fail. And when you got pregnant with James, you were on pill, right?**

**N: I don’t know, I don’t remember! How is that possible???**

**Cho: Honestly I don’t think the pill failed, I think Steve's serum was able to break the effect of the pill on your body.**

_What the fuck???_ Natasha thought.

**N:** **Господи** **!! (My God).**

****

**Cho: Come on, we can be sure of that in a moment, thanks to our technology.**

Cho took Natasha for exams and confirmed Natasha's worst nightmare.

**Cho: You want me to call Steve? He'll be so happy, I remember he kept smiling at each session of James and Sarah's ultrasound. When he heard James's little heart for the first time, he cried so much. I wish you could remember.**

**N: I think I'm going to throw up.**

**Cho: Don’t exaggerate, he has always been na emotive person and you loved him.**

**N: No, I mean I will vom...**

Natasha bent over on the stretcher and threw up the floor. Cho was amazed at the amount and called the cleaning staff.

**Cho: I'll call Steve now.**

**N: No!!!**

**Cho: No?**

**N: I don’t want him to know. We're not married anymore and it's my body, right? I don’t want anyone to know.**

**Cho: Okay...**

Cho sighed.

**Cho: I just need you to come follow up this gestation, twice a month and you will take Folic Acid and many natural vitamins.**

**N: Twice a month? I don’t have time for that.**

**Cho: Your pregnancies were risky before so, I want to keep up with the development of this one. The tests showed that you are pregnant for two months by now.**

**N: Two??? Shit. I need to go.**

Natasha got up in a hurry and ran out of the hospital, Hill was in the car as promised. Natasha came in and slammed the door.

**H: So... For your face, you really are pregnant.**

Natasha didn’t answer and didn’t look at Hill.

**H: Steve is going to freak out!!!!**

**N: Don’t tell him!**

**H: Not me, you will.**

**N: No, the son is not his.**

**H: No? Are you pregnant from the blind dude?**

**N: I don’t know.**

**H: How come? Are you pregnant of how many time?**

**N: A month, almost a month.**

Natasha lied, because Hill could make the count and knows that she wasn’t going out with Murdock yet at that time.

**H: Yeah, you may be pregnant with Matt or Steve.**

**N: Don’t tell any of them. Let's just eat something, because I am starving.**

Hill started the car.

...

Steve already knew that the next day, he would be busy with President Obama's mission, not only the next day, but the next five days after too. And Steve foresaw that he probably won’t sleep at home during these two days of the mission because of the seriousness and complexity of the mission.

Although Steve vowed not to take long travels on missions, because of his children, this time he has no option, he would have to go.

All the Avengers had a break in the afternoon and tonight, as tomorrow they would begin the mission with SHIELD.

Before going home to see his kids, Steve decided to go to Elisa's job to see her before he stay out for some day. Elisa was Happy to see him, received him with a kiss and a big smile.

**E: Everything okay? You have a serious face on you.**

**S: Are you ready to leave?**

**E: Yes. I'm just going to get my bag.**

Elisa went to the staff area, said goodbye to her colleagues, and joined Steve.

Steve gave Elisa a helmet, she put it on and say behind Steve on the bike. Steve took her home, and decided to spend some time with her, since the mission would take days.

As they sat down on the couch, Steve explained about the mission that would take days.

Elisa nodded.

**E: I'll miss you.**

Steve smiled uncomfortably.

**E: It was for you to say "Me too..."**

Steve patted his head lightly and smiled.

**S: I will too, of course.**

Elisa smiled and sat on Steve's lap, she put her arms around his neck and kissed Steve's face, then his lips.

**E: I think if you're going to spend days without seeing me, you should at least spend the night with me tonight.**

Steve sighed.

**S: I know it's going to sound weird, Elisa. I'm not rejecting you, but I have children, I can’t stay.**

**E: Well, you’re with them, everyday.**

**S: I know... but they kind miss me when I’m nota round.**

**E: They can stay with their mother, then.**

**S: It's complicated, because I should have warned her before.**

Elisa took her cell phone and handed it to Steve.

**E: Then call her and ask her to stay with the kids.**

**S: I can’t do that. I don’t know what she is doing tonight, if she can be with them or not, it’s not fair.**

Elisa broke the smile.

**S: And I really want to spend time with them too before I go, I can never say goodbye before the missions and it hurts them. Please, try to understand.**

Elisa sighed and rolled her eyes, then she nodded.

**E: Well, will we at least have a few hours just for us now?**

Steve nodded.

**E: Okay.**

Elisa got up and walked to her bedroom, she unbuttoned her blouse and turned to look at Steve.

**E: That's enough for me, for now.**

****

Steve looked at her, removing her clothes and he's a man, he won’t deny it to Elisa, especially when she strips off in front of him.

Elisa entered her room and Steve stood up. Steve followed her into the bedroom and Elisa closed the door.

...

Hill and Natasha were sitting in a restaurant, eating.

Natasha was drinking her milkshake, watching the movement on the street through the window, ignoring everything around her.

Hill is a good friend and company, she does not keep pushing unnecessaries conversations to break the silence, she knows that Natasha is reflecting about the changes that the pregnancy will cause in her life.

**N: I can’t have it.**

Natasha said after many minutes of silence.

**H: Huh?**

**N: I can’t have this baby.**

Hill didn’t look at her with judgements, she had abortion herself before and she knows Natasha has already had an abortion as well, so she won’t judge her.

**H: Are you sure?**

Natasha was slow to respond, which made Hill think Natasha was uncertain and needed encouragement to do it or to give up.

**H: If you do it, don’t tell the father. He will not forgive you.**

**N: Are you talking about Steve? He may not be the father!**

**H: The fact of your uncertainty in taking the baby or not, makes me believe that it is his. You don’t care about Matt. You don’t even know if he wants a baby or not, you probably don’t even know him that well.**

Natasha was silent again.

**N: He would hate me, right?**

Hill nodded.

**N: I can’t have children, Hill. I had two, that took me a lot to get used to them and I love them, Hill, very much, they’re my life now, but I can’t have another baby. No... I can’t have the baby and he can’t know about it.**

**H: So you're going to take it?**

****

Natasha nodded.

...

Afters two hours, Steve said goodbye to Elisa and went home, he opened the door and Sarah ran to hug him.

**Sarah: Daddy!!! You’re home!**

**S: I am, princess.**

**Sarah: I missed you, daddy.**

**S: Me too, baby.**

Steve looked at the amount of children in the apartment and he frowned, then he noticed the presence of Clint, who got up and greeted Steve.

**Laura: I'm sorry, Steve. I should have asked if I could bring the kids here, but they behaved very well, nothing was broken. I promise.**

**S: All right, Laura, I like that they were playing with other children, here in the building there none for them to play. And I apologize for being late.**

**L: No problem. They already had dinner and we left some food for you.**

**S: Really? You really are great.**

**C: I'm even thinking about stealing her from you.**

Clint smiled, flirting with Laura, she smiled and looked down.

**S: Don’t even dare.**

Steve answered without noticing that Clint was flirting with Laura.

**C: Francis, come on. Let's give Laura a ride home.**

**L: No need to bother with that, I can take the train.**

**C: It's a pleasure to be in your company.**

**L: Well, so thank you...**

Laura smiled again.

**C: Let’s go, then. Good night, children, good night, Steve.**

Clint went out with Francis and Laura.

Steve looked at Torunn.

**S: What about your father?**

Torunn shrugged her shoulders, indicating that she did not know.

**S: It's a bit late. Your father doesn’t have a cell phone, so I'll call your mother.**

Steve telephoned Jane's cell phone, but it was falling into the mailbox.

**S: Well, I'll try again later.**

**J: Can we play video games in my room while Thor doesn’t come to pick her?**

**S: Yes.**

Steve sat down to dinner and he tried to call Jane again and again. Steve tried ten times and started to get worried. Steve called the Avengers Base, asking if Thor or Jane was there and they said no.

Steve looked at the time and he needed to explain to his kids that he was going to be away for a few days, but he didn’t want to do that with Torunn there.

Steve called Hill. Hill said she was going to find Jane, and she managed to locate her cell phone position, and as Jane didn’t answer the call, Hill called Darcy, who was wondering how Hill got her phone number.

Darcy said that Jane was coming back from a research field with her, and Dr. Erik, Jane was yelling in the bakground, compliaining about Thor not going to pick up their daughter.

**_Darcy: Jane, stop screaming, I’m trying to talk to Hill!_ **

**_H: Will you go pick her there, then?_ **

**_Darcy: Wait! Okay, Jane! I will ask. Shut up!_ **

Hill was hearing.

**_Darcy: I’m sorry, Hill, but Janes wants to know if you could take Torunn there and take her to your home, because it’s on our way home._ **

**_H: But what about Thor, can’t he pick her there??_ **

**_D: Thor had to go to Asgard to solve something urgent. Listen, Hill, can you do that? Jane is hysterical here, she would be calmer if you say you will take her._ **

**_H: Uhm, sure... I can do that, but don’t take too long. I’m alergic to kids. And I will drive her straight to Jane’s home._ **

**_D: Oh will you do that? Amazing!_ **

**_H: Yeah, I don’t want kids ruinning my place._ **

**_D: Haha you’re funny._ **

Hill ended the call.

**H: I need to go, Thor's idiot went to Asgard, Jane was doing research out of town and they left their daughter with the new daddy of the year.**

Natasha looked at Hill in disgust, and Hill began to laugh.

**H: Sorry, I couldn’t resist.**

Hill hurried out of the restaurant, and drove to Steve's apartment and rang the bell when she arrived.

**H: So, where's the delivery?**

**S: Delivery?**

**H: The blond Asgardian kid.**

**S: You mean Torunn... Torunn?**

Torunn came into the LIVING room.

**S: Do you already know Maria Hill, right?**

Torunn nodded.

**S: She's going to take you to your mother.**

**H: Come on.**

Torunn waved to say goodbye to James and Sarah, she held Hill's hand and left.

Steve sat on the living room floor and finally called James and Sarah to sit with him and talk about the mission.

**S: I want to talk to you.**

Sarah knelt beside Steve and James sat facing him.

**S: Look, Dad's going to have to spend a few days out.**

James rolled his eyes and threw himself back, putting his hands to his face.

**Sarah: Why, Daddy?**

**S: I have an important job to do.**

**J: Save the damn world!!!**

James was still with his hands on his face

**S: Yes, you live in it. James?**

James looked at Steve and sat down again.

**Sarah: Can we go with you, daddy?**

Steve hugged Sarah and placed her on his lap. Steve shook his head.

**S: You can’t, princess, it's very dangerous.**

**J: Are you coming back?**

**S: Of course I will come back.**

**J: But you're mortal, you can die!**

**S: Yes, but James... Why are you saying that? Who told you that?**

**Sarah: Jesus said.**

Steve looked at Sarah.

**S: Jesus?**

**Sarah: Yah, the God’s daughter.**

**S: No, she's not Jesus, Sarah. It happens that there are several beings in the planet and out of the planet, that some people call gods and they like to call themselves gods, but it’s not the same God you’re thinking.**

**Sarah: Oohh...**

Sarah seemed to understand better now.

Steve looked at James, then to Sarah.

**S: And don’t worry, I'll get back to you. I will always come back, right?**

James sighed and Sarah nodded.

 **S: Well, I want a very, very tight hug and a big kiss before bed from** both of you.

Sarah hugged Steve's neck and kissed his cheek. James didn’t hug Steve, he just got up, went to his bedroom and slammed the door.

Steve sighed at his reaction, but he can’t blame him for being upset that he is going to stay out, he made a promise and is breaking it now.

Steve put Sarah in bed and she sat up, taking a small doll in the drawer.

Sarah gave the doll to Steve and laid down again.

**S: What is this?**

**Sarah: Stay with you.**

**S: Aren’t you going to play with this one?**

Sarah shook her head.

**Sarah: It's my favorite doll, and now you know that you have to come back to give it to me.**

Steve smiled.

**S: I said I will come back, princess.**

**Sarah: Then take it with you.**

Sarah covered herself. Steve kissed her forehead and left the room, he went to James's bedroom, who pretended to be asleep. Steve covered him and kissed his forehead.

**S: I love you, James. Very much. Take care of your sister.**

Steve stroked James' hair and went to sleep.

...

Hill was checking the GPS for the best way to Jane's house, she was already close, she stopped at the intersection because the signal was blinking in the "yellow" non-stop.

Hill decided to check her messages while the cars were passing. A car pulled up beside Hill and honked. Hill glanced to see who it was.

**Torunn: MOTHER!!! It’s my mother!**

****

Hill noticed Jane’s car, Dr. Erick and Darcy were in there too, smiling at Torunn.

Torunn was smiling and waving at her mother, Jane. Jane smiled and nodded at Torunn, then Jane looked at Hill, and told her to turn right after a block, so she could get Torunn, it was impossible to do it now on that avenue where they were.

Hill nodded, and turned her attention to her cell phone again, she received a new message and it was from Henry, which made her smile.

Jane honked lightly once more, and pointed to the traffic light, which was now green. Hill looked at the traffic light and decided to answer Henry’s message before start to drive again. Althought Hill was surprised because the traffic light seemed broken and suddenly came back to work, she listened Jane’s car going foward, and just typed na answer to Henry.

After a few seconds, Hill put the cell phone on the seat next to her to start driving again and she heard the sound of cars skidding, trying to break and then a great light blinded Hill and everyone around for a few seconds.

When Hill's vision returned to normal, she looked at the intersection and a truck had dragged Jane's car into the corner and sandwiched it against the wall of a building.

Maria Hill could not believe the scene, because it happened so fast, in a matter of seconds. Worst of all is that Hill was slow to remember that there was someone else in the car with her and that someone was the daughter of the woman who just died in that terrible accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry guys, so much pain for everybody. Not sure if Nat will keep the baby or not, if she will tell Steve or not and I alson want to remeber you that there more death to come, I said once Steve and Nat will get together after losing someone special for both oth them, but don't forget that there is a death of one principal character as well...


	49. In Memory of Jane Foster, Darcy Foster Erik Selvig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you expect me to update so fast? Thanks to the comments I received, so enjoy it!

It was after midnight when Steve heard the doorbell ring about three times until he managed to wake up and get up.

Steve opened the door, still drowsy, but woke immediately to see who it was.

**S: Natasha???**

**N: We have a problem.**

**S: What happened? Come on in.**

Natasha came in and Steve closed the door, Natasha folded her arms and stared at Steve, she was angry for being pregnant with him, but none of that mattered now.

**N: Are the children sleeping?**

**S: Yes, do you want to talk to them? To say Goodbye?**

**N: To say Goodbye??**

Natasha frowned.

**S: Yeah, because of the mission tomorrow.**

**N: Jesus...**

Natasha sighed and made negative with her head because she didn’t remember about the mission.

**S: I can wake them up.**

**N: No, no, let them sleep. Steve, it's Torunn.**

**S: Torunn? The one who was here today?**

Natasha nodded.

**N: Yes, Hill just called me telling me there was an accident, a truck hit Jane's car.**

Steve's eyes widened and he frowned.

**S: Oh my God. Is she okay??**

**N: She's dead. We couldn’t reach Thor yet, I guess he’s in Asgard.**

**S: Thor surely already sensed.**

**N: Yes, it's what Fury and Hill thinks and as he has not yet appeared, they're kind scared of what he can do... But I don’t quite understand the reason for this fear.**

**S: Thor, he loved Jane too much and he is somewhat explosive and impulsive, he won’t forgive this death, he will want revenge.**

**N: There's one more problem.**

**S: What?**

**N: Torunn watched the accident.**

**S: God... Where is she?**

**N: She's with Hill and Fury.**

**S: Jesus, this poor child.**

Steve sighed and Natasha noticed that he was suffering from all this, of course she also feels for Torunn, but Steve takes the pain of others for himself.

Natasha could see that Steve was already thinking about how to solve the situation and it's not even his problem, why does he act like that every damn time? He's always putting himself in the shoes of others, she's never met someone so empathetically like that, but she still doesn’t know if it's something she admires in him.

**S: I... I have to pick Torunn.**

**N: Why?**

**S: She must be very scared, Hill and Fury will not know how to deal with a child. Jane was my friend too. Here she can be safe and get distracted with James and Sarah. Only this mission of tomorrow...**

**N: Forget about it, we'll postpone the start.**

**S: Impossible, it is a mission of the President.**

**N: He will have to understand.**

Steve looked at Natasha and saw that she was determined.

**N: How can I help?**

**S: Stay here while I go there and pick her.**

Natasha nodded.

Steve went to his bedroom, he changed his clothes, and when he came back into the living room, he noticed that Natasha was a little crooked and protecting her belly, as if in pain.

**S: Are you okay?**

**N: Yes... I'm just hungry.**

**S: There's food in the fridge, just warm up, make yourself comfortable.**

Steve ran to get the car and go to the scene of the accident, obviously Hill didn’t volunteer to take Torunn out of there, she was accompanying the police and the paramedics and she has no notion that there is no place for children to stay.

When Steve arrived, he approached Fury and greeted him, he asked for Torunn and Fury indicated the other side of the street. Steve spotted Hill sitting on a bench, with Torunn on her lap, who seemed to be sleeping, a blanket covering Torunn's back.

**S: Is she sleeping?**

**H: What do you think??**

**S: Is she Okay?**

**H: Obviously not.**

Steve came closer and Torunn was awake, but with tears in her eyes and an empty stare. Steve stroked Torunn's head and crouched to stay on her high.

**S: Hey... I'm so sorry you've seen all this.**

**Torunn: I'll never see my mother again?**

Steve shook his head and almost cried with Torunn.

**S: Do you want to stay at my home, until your father came to get you?**

Torunn grabbed Hill's arms and shook his head.

**H: You'll be better with Steve, Torunn.**

**S: You can sleep in Sarah's room. And you can play with James in the morning, too. Would you come with me?**

Torunn shook his head.

Hill looked at Steve.

**H: I don’t know why she refuses to leave me.**

**S: You were here with her all the time. She trusts you. She need's you.**

**H: Oh, God, Steve...**

**S: Hill... She just lost her mother, you can do that. It's only until tomorrow, so Thor can appear here. Anything you need, you can call me.**

Steve left and went back to the apartment, he opened the door and didn’t find Natasha in the living room, he went to the hall and saw Natasha sitting next to Sarah's bed.

Natasha had her back and head resting in the closet and seemed to be sleeping.

**S: Natasha?**

Steve was surprised that Natasha didn’t wake up with the noise of him opening the door, even more with him calling her name.

Steve came over and crouched next to her, he leaned against her arm.

**S: Natasha??**

Natasha took a fright and Steve made a gesture with his hands for her to calm down.

**S: It's me. It’s Okay.**

**N: S-sorry, I...**

Natasha yawned, still very sleepy. She leaned against the cupboard and struggled to her feet. Steve noticed.

**S: Natasha, are you okay?**

**N: I'm just sleepy, but I'll be fine.**

Natasha yawned and staggered to get to the door, Steve ran to help her.

**S: You can’t go out like that. Sleep here.**

**N: No...**

Natasha was half awake and half asleep, so she didn’t know whether she was dreaming or whether it was real.

**N: You.... You...**

**S: Sh... It’s Okay.**

**N: It’s not Okay...**

Steve took Natasha out of the room, so she didn’t wake Sarah, Steve took her in his arms and Natasha laid her face on Steve's shoulder. Natasha closed her eyes and yawned again.

**N: No...**

**S: Come on, Natasha. It's fine.**

**N: You... I don’t want... Don’t want another baby... I need to go.**

Steve frowned, not understanding what she was talking about, but by her condition, she can only be drunk, which irritated Steve a little, he put her on his bed and covered her. As he moved away from the bed, Natasha opened her eyes again and looked at Steve.

**N: Are you going to hate me?**

Steve stopped at the door and turned to stare into Natasha’s eyes.

**S: I would never hate you, Natasha.**

****

Natasha took a deep breath and closed her eyes again.

**N: Yes, you'd hate me. You will hate me for what I will do...**

Steve shook his head, he left the room, and slept on the couch.

The next morning, Sarah woke up and went straight to her father's room, she opened the door and saw Natasha on the bed, she opened a huge smile and climbed on the bed.

Sarah lay down next to Natasha, her face close to hers, watching her.

Of course Natasha woke up feeling that she was being watched, as soon as she opened her eyes, Sarah began to laugh. Natasha sighed and turned to the other side, her back to Sarah.

Sarah climbed on top of Natasha and was still looking at her face and laughing.

**Sarah: Mommy??**

**N: Sarah...**

**Sarah: Hi, mama!**

**S: Sarah!**

Natasha opened her eyes, startled at Steve's voice, she and Sarah looked at him.

**S: Let your mother sleep.**

Natasha sat on the bed, trying to figure out what she was doing there.

**S: Come on, Sarah.**

Sarah threw herself at Natasha, hugging her neck.

**Sarah: No, I want to stay with my mommy.**

**N: What?? What the hell am I doing here? Why am I in your bed? Oh God, did we....**

Natasha frowned.

**N: Oh God, not again...**

**S: No, you slept alone in my bed, I was in the living room. You fell asleep yesterday and I brought you here, don’t you remember?**

Natasha shook her head, then made a confused look.

**N: Maybe... I, uh... I thought I was dreaming.**

**S: Were you drunk?**

**N: What? No!**

**S: You weren’t saying anything that makes sense, you talked about not wanting another baby.**

Natasha panicked and pulled Sarah away as she stood up.

**N: Did I say that?**

**S: Yes.**

**N: I was not drunk, just very sleepy. Anyway, how is Torunn?**

**S: She wanted to stay with Hill.**

**N: Hill? And you left her?**

**S: What could I do?**

**N: She doesn’t know how to deal with children.**

**S: Torunn who wanted, I tried.**

Natasha phoned Hill who complained that Thor had not shown up yet.

**_H: We have to go to the mission in a few hours._ **

**_N: No, we don’t._ **

**_H: Of course we have._ **

**_N: Jane will be buried today, we'll be there._ **

Steve looked at Natasha and was surprised that she wanted to show support for Thor and Torunn.

**_H: But it's the president!_ **

**_N: Hill, we'll postpone another day. Tomorrow we board._ **

**_H: You know you shouldn’t even go on the mission because you are... you know..._ **

**_N: I can’t talk about it right now. Steve and I are going to the funeral, and so are you._ **

Natasha hung up and appeared to be angry, she was more upset than the usual, she rubbed her forehead and sat on the bed, feeling dizzy.

**Sarah: Mama?**

**S: Natasha? You don’t seem fine.**

**N: I am. I'm just tired.**

**S: Yesterday you were feeling bad and today also, something is wrong.**

**N: I'm fine!**

Natasha took a deep breath and looked at Steve, who felt her gaze steady.

**N: Let's take the kids?**

**Sarah: Where?**

**N: To the funeral.**

**S: No... of course not.**

**N: Why not?**

**S: Natasha, they've never seen...**

**Sarah: What, what?**

**N: They have to know that this happens.**

**S: Not like that, it can traumatize them.**

Natasha rolled her eyes.

**J: What happened?**

Natasha and Steve looked at James, who also woke up and appeared in the bedroom.

**S: I'll talk to him. Can you give breakfast to Sarah?**

Natasha nodded and went into the kitchen with Sarah, James stayed in the room with his father.

**S: You know your new friend, Torunn?**

**J: Yes.**

**S: So, she lost someone she loved very much yesterday.**

**J: Lost how?**

**S: Her mother is gone, James.**

**J: To heaven?**

Steve nodded. James looked thoughtful and serious.

**S: James...**

**J: I want to see her.**

**S: She's getting ready to go to her mother’s funeral.**

**J: I want to go.**

**S: No, James, I don’t think you should go.**

**J: I want to go, Dad.**

Steve noticed that James was determined, the same expression that Natasha makes when she is decided.

Steve went into the living room with James.

**Sarah: Daddy...**

Sarah was crying, Steve was startled and picked her up.

**S: What happened?**

**N: I told her that Torunn's mother died and now she thinks I'm going to die too.**

**S: You should not have told her, Natasha.**

**N: She asked what happened to Torunn, did you want me to lie to my daughter?**

**S: She's very Young to these stuff.**

**N: Steve, next week she'll be four. Stop treating her like a baby.**

**Sarah: I don’t want Mommy to go to heaven.**

**S: She won’t, princess. Don’t worry, it's all right.**

Steve looked at Natasha with reproach, who showed no regret.

Tony Stark called Steve and told him where the funeral would be. Steve ended the call and looket at Natasha.

**S: James wants to go.**

**Sarah: Me too.**

**S: No, you're going to class. Laura's going to stay with you, Sarah and James comes with me after class.**

**Sarah: Not fair!**

**N: I'll meet you there. I have to resolve the postponement of the mission.**

Natasha kissed Sarah's face and Sarah hugged her mother tightly.

**Sarah: Mama don’t leave me!!!**

Sarah threatened to cry.

**N: Sarah, I'm not leaving for good. Okay? Stay calm.**

Natasha crouched down and asked for a kiss from James who kissed and hugged Natasha.

**N: See you later.**

Natasha took a fruit from the basket and left the apartment.

Steve left the kids at school and when he walked out, Elisa was waiting for him on the sidewalk near his car.

**E: Good morning... I thought a certain soldier would be on a mission for days, you know... I think it was just an excuse to not see me. I’m very disappointed.**

Steve did not smile.

**S: Elisa, the wife of a friend passed away yesterday. She was a mother of a little girl, we are all very sad with what happened.**

Elisa broke the smile.

**E: Dear God...**

**S: Their daughter watched everything and we had to postpone the mission.**

**E: I'm so sorry, honey.**

Elisa leaned against Steve's arm and stroked to comfort him.

**E: When is the funeral?**

**S: Today, later.**

**E: I'll go with you.**

**S: You don’t... you don’t have to do that.**

**E: No, I want to be there for you. I will always support my man.**

**S: But what about your work?**

**E: My boss will have to understand that my boyfriend comes first.**

Steve was surprised by the "boyfriend", he didn’t actually asked her to be his girlfriend, but if he slept with her, it means that now he is in a more serious relationship with her, he was embarrassed to correct her about that.

**E: Come on, I'll cook you some breakfast.**

Steve followed Elisa to the diner.

...

Natasha met with Fury at SHIELD.

**N: Maria?**

**F: She’s babysitting the girl.**

**N: Yet?**

**F: I told her to stay home with the girl. She just wants to be with Hill and Thor didn’t show up.**

**N: That’s very weird, from what Steve told me, he is very vindictive.**

**F: Yes, I am monitoring the accesses to Earth, so we will not be caught by surprise. The truck driver is in the protection program, because we do not know how irrational he can be.**

**N: From what Hill told me, it wasn’t his fault, the traffic signal was’t working right.**

**F: Yeah, we'll just keep him on the program until we're sure Thor understands it was not his fault.**

**N: And if he understands that it's not his fault, does he go after another responsible one?**

**F: Probably....**

**N: How do we fight against gods?**

**F: We don’t fight them. I'm counting on your ex-husband for this issue.**

**N: Steve? No...**

Natasha was extremely concerned, Fury raised an eyebrow, surprised at Natasha's reaction.

**N: You can’t get Steve to fight Thor.**

**F: He's strong.**

**N: He is, but Thor is a god! Are you kidding me? He could kill Steve with one hand, or leave him drooling for the rest of his life with a lightining!**

**F: Easy, Natasha. They would never fight like that. Thor has a huge admiration for Steve and Steve is good with words, he can convince Thor to give up revenge.**

Natasha looked relieved.

**F: That your reaction...**

Natasha rolled her eyes.

**N: He is the father of my children, I was thinking about them.**

**F: Yeah, right. Have you found a clinic to take care of that matter?**

Natasha looked at Fury, confused, then she realised that Hill had already told him about her pregnancy. Or Dr. Cho who works for him.

**N: Not yet.**

**F: Do you want me to call the clinic for you? I can get a time for you to do it today.**

Fury picked up his cell phone and started looking for the clinic contact on his cell phone. Natasha looked at Fury's cell phone, she frowned, and she got extremely angry at him.

**N: I'll figure it out! That’s my bussiness!**

**F: Right...**

****

Natasha took a deep breath, angrily.

Fury seemed to be being ironic. Does he doubt she will do the abortion? She will do it, but not today, she needs to go to the funeral and ensure the safety of whoever is there.

...

Toward the end of the afternoon, Natasha was already arriving in the cemetery, she got out of the car in a black dress and Hill was with Torunn on her side, receiving many people who hugged and tried to comfort Torunn in some way.

As Natasha walked toward the entrance to the chapel, she heard James call.

**J: Mommm!**

Natasha turned and smiled at the sight of James running toward her.

Natasha glanced at Steve as he got out of the car and she couldn’t help broke her smile as she saw Elisa got out of Steve’s car and held onto Steve's arm in a possessive way.

Steve looked rather unconfortable and embarassed at Natasha, who turned her back on them and entered the chapel with James.

Natasha approached Hill and bent down to talk to Torunn.

**N: Hi...**

Torunn looked at Natasha.

**N: I'm so sorry for what happened. How are you, darling?**

Torunn shrugged and she was not crying anymore, but anyone could tell she'd cried a lot, through her red eyes and red nose.

James took Torunn's hand and said nothing, just stood beside her. Natasha got up when she noticed Steve approaching with Elisa.

**E: Hello, I'm sorry for your loss. Poor thing, watched everything.**

**S: Hill, this is Elisa. Elisa, this is Maria Hill.**

They both shook hands. Natasha was a little on her back, pretending not to notice the presence of Steve and Elisa.

**E: Hello, Natasha.**

Natasha turned and looked at Elisa. She nodded and stepped away from them again.

**J: Why are three boxes there?**

**Torunn: They are coffins. My aunt Darcy and my uncle Erik went to away too.**

**J: My dad said we can see who goes to heaven again.**

**T: Really?**

**J: Yes. When we go too.**

**T: But this can take too long.**

**J: Yeah, I know. But it is not better to know that we will see them again, than to know that we will never see again, don’t you think?**

Torunn took a deep breath and nodded.

**T: I wish my father was here.**

**J: He will come.**

The priest entered the chapel, and they all sat down as he prayed for the souls. At the end, the coffins were closed and all the avengers and friends followed in procession, behind the car that carried the coffins to the burial area in the cemetery.

James held Torunn's hand all the time, and Elisa hung on Steve's arm all the time as well.

As soon as the priest said the last words, a gale began, with thunder and lightning. It started from nowhere.

They all looked up at the sky, frightened.

**S: He's coming.**

A huge lightning struck a tree that burned down. Then a meteor was heading toward the graveyard field. It was not a meteor, it was Thor coming at full speed and causing a great overflow to land on the ground.

Thor's condition was regrettable. He looked horrible like someone who had cried a lot.

People drew back in fear of him, he approached the coffin, opened it, and looked at Jane. Thor sobbed again and touched Jane's face.

Steve released Elisa and approached Thor. Natasha watched Steve and positioned herself to act, since Thor was out of himself and Steve is stupid enough to not care about it.

**S: Thor... I'm so sorry...**

Thor stopped crying and his look was pure hatred, he looked at Steve with hatred, as if everyone there was guilty of Jane's death.

**S: Thor, you're scaring everyone right now.**

**Thor: Am I?**

**S: Your daughter...**

**Thor: My daughter? She was there! She saw her mother die!**

Thor looked at Hill and pointed his Hammer towards her.

**Thor: You! You let her watch, you're going to die!**

Thor positioned himself to head for Hill, but Steve stepped in his front.

**S: Thor!**

Natasha approached Bucky.

**N: Barnes...**

Bucky looked at Natasha.

**N: You need to get my son out of here.**

**B: What about the girl?**

**N: He won’t hurt his daughter.**

Bucky nodded and approached James, who was still holding Torunn's hand.

**B: James, come with me?**

**J: I can’t.**

**B: Your mother told you to.**

James looked in the direction of Natasha who nodded at him.

**J: Come on, Torunn.**

**T: No!**

**J: You need to come.**

**T: No! My father is here!**

Bucky picked James up, so he would free Torunn’s hand, but James pulled her by the hand anyway.

**T: No, James! Let go!**

**J: Bucky, we need to get her too.**

**B: No, James, let her go.**

Thor turned his attention to his daughter and thought Bucky was trying to take her away.

Thor lifted the hammer in Bucky's direction and threw a bolt of lightning at him, and Steve had to throw himself on Thor to prevent him of hiting Bucky and his son.

Bucky grabbed James and ran away with him. Hill ducked down to protect Torunn, while Carol Danvers, Jessica Drew, and Sam helped the civilians to move away and seek shelter.

**T: FATHER!**

**Thor: TORUNN!**

Thor pushed Steve to get to Torunn.

**Thor: Stay out of it, Rogers!**

**S: Thor, Hill is helping Torunn. Try to reason!!!**

****

Thor didn’t want to know, Steve was what preventing him from reaching his daughter, so he is the enemy now. Thor raised the hammer to hit Steve, but before he lowered his arm, Natasha threw a thin steel rope around Thor's rist and she had to ran around a tree and pull the rope to prevent him from hitting Steve.

Thor didn’t look at who was trying to stop him, he didn’t know it was Natasha, he just wanted to get rid of the rope, so he pulled his arm hard, dragging Natasha along, making her crash against the tree.

Natasha's body crashed against the tree and she fell to the ground next. She couldn’t move, she was extremely dizzy. Steve noticed that Natasha was not well, especially with the early episodes. She has already suffered worse blows and has not been paralyzed as she is now.

Steve was running toward Natasha, but Thor grabbed him by the throat.

Torunn struggled to break from Hill, until she managed to run to Thor, she hugged his father's leg and cried non-stop.

**T: FATHER! Father, please. Stop, father!**

****

Thor snapped when he felt Torunn embrace him, his heart ached so much that he turned his mourning into hatred and hatred blinded him to what made sense or not.

Steve was his friend and Torunn needed him.

Thor released Steve and grabbed Torunn in his lap. He hugged her and kissed Torunn's forehead.

Steve coughed as he was released, he fell to his knees and was still staring at Natasha.

Thor flew back to the sky, disappearing with Torunn.

Steve finally got up and ran to Natasha.

Tony, Wanda, Clint and Vision rushed over to Steve and Natasha.

**S: Natasha?**

Natasha couldn’t speak, she just had an expression of pain. Steve tried to move her and she moaned.

**Tony: Don’t move her, she may have broken something.**

**N: It hurts... It hurts a lot.**

Natasha was breathing heavily, and the words came out faintly. Steve touched her hair, desperate to see her in pain. Natasha put her hand to her belly and tried to breathe, but the air seemed to be missing more and more.

Wanda and Vision approached. Wanda was astonished to see Natasha.

Hill ran to them with her cell phone in her hand.

**H: I already called an ambulance.**

**W: She's losing...**

**Vision: Losing what?**

Wanda was staring at Natasha’s belly.

**W: The babies...**

**S: Babies??**

Steve frowned and looked at Wanda

**W: She is pregnant.**

****

Steve opened his mouth in surprise and schock, than he stared at Natasha, who was out of herself right now.

**H: Babies? Plural? It’s just one, right?**

**W: It's not just one. There are two babies. I can feel them.**

Steve was even more schocked.


	50. Truths - Part 1

When Natasha woke up, she was already on a hospital bed. She moaned still in pain before opening her eyes. Steve was dozing on the couch, but he awoke instantly when he heard Natasha moaning and approached her bed.

Natasha blinked her eyes slowly until she was able to really open them. Her first sight was Steve's worried face, Natasha still felt pain and she couldn’t hide the pain in her face.

**S: How are you feeling?**

**N: With pain.**

**S: I'll call the nurse!**

**N: No...**

Natasha said weakly. Steve didn’t move, he put his hand on her forehead, and showed concern.

**S: Wanda told me you're pregnant, Natasha.**

Natasha didn’t have the strength to look astonished, but there was sadness in her eyes.

**S: Why didn’t you tell me?**

**N: It was not for you to know about it.**

**S: Why not? It’s not mine?**

Natasha got a little frustrated from Steve asking if it was his or not. She knows it is his, but leave that idiot think it’s not his, since he thinks it's not, to be asking that.

Natasha looked away.

**S: I’m sorry, it really doesn’t matter now, you need to recover, but...**

Steve sighed.

**S: I want you to know that I'm happy any way for your pregnancy.**

Steve had this little but sweet and proud smile on his face, showing how much he is already in love with this new baby, which worried Natasha.

**N: I didn’t tell you before, because I’m not keeping this pregnancy.**

Natasha was straight, to not let Steve get attached to the idea of having a new baby. Steve immediately changed his expression to shocked and disappointed and soon he became angry and frowned.

**S: What???**

**N: I don’t want a new baby.**

**S: What do you mean you don’t want a new baby?? How can you say that??? That's why you were asking me if I would hate you, right?**

Natasha looked at Steve and then looked away again.

**S: Yes, Natasha. I'd really hate you if you do that.**

**N: I'll do it.**

Natasha answered coldly. Steve was silente for a few seconds.

**S: No, you won’t do it!**

**N: I will, it’s not for you to decide that.**

****

Natasa frowned, getting angry too.

**N: You might not even be the father!**

Well, now Steve is hurt, it was like Natasha cutting his hear with an axe, he couldn’t even look at Natasha anymore, he moved away and sat on the couch, Steve rubbed his face and sighed.

Natasha watched him and her heart ached from the way Steve reacted, he hates her now. She thought it would be easier to deal with his hatred than with his love, but no... Having his hatred is devastating, she felt her heart tighten.

As the minutes passed, Steve's silence bothered her more and more. _What is he thinking about? Why he does not speak? Why am I so bothereded with it?_   _Scream with me, Steve. Do something. You’re killing me.._. Natasha thought.

After half an hour, Steve spoke without looking at Natasha.

**S: I don’t care if those babies are mine or Matt's or any other man's. These are lives, Natasha. You won’t take it.**

Natasha rolled her eyes and tried to move in bed, but her whole body was weak and aching.

**N: If the baby is not yours, you don’t have any right... Why are you speaking in the plural about the baby, anyway?**

Natasha frowned.

**S: Natasha...**

Steve shook his head and looked at her.

**S: All that's going on in my head right now is Sarah and James. Do you have any idea how much I love them?**

**N: I know.**

**S: No, you don’t. Natasha, when you suffered that accident and the doctor said you might never wake up again, my world crashed. I thought I wasn’t going to live anymore, I mean... How could I survive and have a life without you, you were my world, I thought it was the end, but I couldn’t give up, I couldn’t because I had two beautiful children who helped me to overcome and move on. I don’t know what would be of my life without my children, so you can take everything from me, but not my children.**

**N: Steve, I...**

**S: Even if they're from this other guy, you ca’t do that to him. Does he, at least, knows about it? I bet not. If you don’t want them, just hold on, just hang on till the delivery and I'll stay with them, you can do whatever you want in your life after that.**

Natasha sighed and didn’t notice she was crying until she felt a tear roll down her face. She felt the pain she was experiencing was from the blow she suffered, but it was in her chest, it was the pain of seeing Steve say he didn’t care about her. At least that's what she interpreted from his words, he cares about the baby, but not about her.

The equipment attached to Natasha chest to monitor her heart beats, started to beep suddendly, so the nurse entered the room, and Steve got to his feet.

**\- Her pressure is dropping.**

Another nurse came in.

**S: What's happening?**

**\- Sir, wait outside.**

**S: No...**

The doctor came in, and Natasha was no longer conscious even though her eyes were open. The nurses shoved Steve out of the room.

Steve is angry with Natasha for many reasons and he is right to have this anger, but at the same time the concern for her well-being and for the babies consumes he. All he is thinking now is if he’s the one who unleashed this crisis on her.

Yes it was him. Any stress harms the health of Natasha and of the babies, because her body tends to reject any weird presence in her organismo, and he sees a pregnancy as an enemy, when they don’t recognize the sérum, that’s why James’ pregnany was easier than Sarah’s, he has the sérum.

The doctor anesthetized Natasha and she will not wake up in the next 24 hours.

And the reason no other avengers were there, it was because only Natasha woke up three days after the incident with Thor, everyone had to go to the mission, but Steve refused because he needed to stay with Natasha.

The next afternoon Natasha was still under anesthesia.

**Sarah: Why she does not open her eyes?**

**J: Is she sleeping or is she dead?**

**Sarah: Is she dead???**

Sarah went into despair.

**S: No, guys, she's just sleeping.**

**J: Why does she have to stay here all this time?**

**S: Because she's not well.**

**J: And you? Why you have to stay here too?**

**S: I have to stay to take care of her, James. I miss you every day. But I can’t leave mom here alone.**

**J: Okay.**

Someone was knocking on the door, this person opened the door slowly and looked to see if it was the correct room.

Steve was astonished when he saw who it was, he couldn’t belive that Elisa was in the hospital, he warned her where he would be and the reason of him being without seeing her, but he thought Elisa would be sensible enough to not show up there.

James frowned when he saw Elisa and folded his arms.

**E: Hi?**

Elisa smiled at Steve and whispered.

**E: How is she?**

Steve looked at Elisa and he didn’t even let her into the room, he walked to the door, then move her to the corridor, but he closed the door before that.

Elisa was annoyed for this treatment..

**S: What are you doing here???**

**E: Wow...**

Elisa seemed to be very outraged.

**E: I came to see you, because you haven’t showed up to see me and I wanted to know how Natasha is... But I see that was a bad idea! You're never happy to see me!**

Elisa turned and walked away, but Steve grabbed her arm.

**S: Elisa...**

Steve sighed and felt guilty, he knows he is stressed with all this going on, he can’t even understand if it is normal Elisa showing up in every place he goes, or not. He just thought he was being rude or too negligente with her.

**S: I'm sorry, okay? It's just that things are very complicated right now.**

**E: They always seem to be complicated.**

**S: Unfortunately it's the reality. It's nothing to you, but I... Look, Natasha at the hospital, I've been away from my children, my job and Natasha's situation is very delicate, she can’t stress and your presence here...**

**E: Am I a stress for her? Why? I thought the situation between you was solved!**

**S: It is, Elisa. At least it was, but everything changed now.**

****

**E: Because of an accident???**

**S: Not only that. We need to talk. Come with me, the children can’t hear about it.**

Steve led Elisa into another hallway, away from Natasha's room.

...

James was watching Steve and Elisa through the keyhole, but when Steve walked away he couldn’t hear the conversation anymore. Sarah was behind him, curious to know what was going on.

**Sarah: Jamie, did Elisa bring cupcake?**

James turn to look at Sarah.

**J: No, and you're not going to accept cupcakes from her anymore! Sarah: Yes I will!**

Sarah frowned.

**J: You won’t!**

Sarah: You don’t rule over me! You’re not my daddy!

**J: Don’t be stupid... Don’t you want Mom and Dad to be together???**

**Sarah: You stupid! And yes, I want!**

Sarah nodded.

**Sarah: But I do like Elisa.**

**J: You can’t like her, Sarah! Either you like Mom, or you like her! Who do you like more?**

Sarah frowned.

**J: For Mom to go back to stay with Dad, he can’t date Elisa and we have to help Mom.**

**Sarah: How?**

**J: Not accepting gifts from Elisa! And not being nice to her!**

The two stopped conspiring when they heard Natasha moving on bed. They approached the bed.

**J: Hi Mom.**

Natasha opened her eyes and sighed. She smiled a little at the sight of her children, but she was still sleepy.

**Sarah: Mommy, let's go home to see my Kitty?**

**N: I wish I could go, Sarah. How are you, guys?**

**J: Good. We miss you.**

**N: Me too. You came with whom?**

**J: With Dad.**

**N: Where is he?**

**Sarah: He's out there with...**

James covered Sarah’s mouth.

**J: With Laura.**

Natasha knew it was a lie for the way James reacted, it could only be Elisa. Their relationship must be very serious, since she accompanies him in everything, even here in the hospital she is in, it seems sick this relationship. Natasha thought if Elisa was the reason Steve was being so cold with her.

**Sarah: Mommy, I'm going to dance at school.**

**N: Are you?**

**Sarah: Yes, next week, will you come to watch me?**

**N: I will do everything to be there.**

**J: I'll also have a game over the weekend, but you won’t be able to take me, right?**

**N: I don’t know, James, Mom is feeling very tired. I bet your father won’t miss this for anything.**

**J: He has not even gone home anymore.**

**N: How not?**

Natasha frowned.

**Sarah: He said he has to take care of you, so I'm not even crying.**

**J: Liar! She cried yesterday!**

**Sarah: But it was just a little bit.**

Natasha laughed and closed her eyes, then she looked at Sarah.

**N: There is no problem crying for missing somebody you love.**

**Sarah: Do you cry, mommy?**

**N: No. But I wish to, sometimes. I wish I could cry as easy as everyone else does.**

**J: Why?**

**N: Because after you cry, you feel more relieved. The pain lessens every time you cry.**

**J: So you keep feeling pain, mom?**

Natasha paused for a moment, thinking about the answer. Yes, she keeps feeling hurt, she keeps everything inside her, but she can’t say that to her children.

**N: No, I get better in another way.**

**J: How?**

**N: Fighting.**

**Sarah: I want to fight too!**

**N: When you grow up...**

...

**E: Is she pregnant???? Of you?**

**S: I don’t know.**

**E: Twins... And you don’t know if you’re the father? And, from what people used to say of her, anyone could be the father.**

**Elisa raged, feeling angry and jealous, but Steve didn’t like that phrase at all.**

**S: I think you should go.**

**E: If the children are not yours, why are you still here???**

**S: She is the mother of my children.**

**E: Steve, wake up! You can come to visit her, but stay here for days?**

**S: Elisa, that's what I feel I should do.**

**E: Well, I miss you, so I don’t matter for you? Don’t I deserve your attention?**

**S: Of course you matter for me.**

**E: You’re Always with your kids, or with Natasha.**

**S: Elisa you need to understand that the situation is delicate.**

**E: I’m sorry but I don’t see this as something urgent that needs your presence 24 hours. It is quite clear that your feelings for her remain the same.**

**S: I assure you, that this is not true.**

Elisa stopped talking and looked at Steve, he was an honest person, identifying a lie was easy. She noticed sincerity in his words.

**S: I do feel something for her, maybe I will always feel, we had a life together, for many years and we have the kids that keep us in touch, but things have changed a lot, since we divorced, I no longer feel dependent on her, so I asked you out and started to... date you. I wasn’t going to get involved with you, if I wasn’t sure that I could stop loving her. But I never lied to you about still having feelings for her.**

**E: Yeah, I know. But I think I'll never get over it. I’ll never be like her in yout life**

**S: You don’t have to overcome anything. I have to overcome, and you are free to go on with your life without me if you want. You’re Young and you don’t have to be stuck with a man with a complicated story like mine.**

**E: You talk like if it's easy to leave you... I like you, Steve, and I feel like I'm in love with you and I think I've been since I saw you at the diner for the first time.**

**S: Look... I don’t want you to expect the same retribution now or later, I don’t know how will I feel in the future. You called me boyfriend the other day and Elisa, we're not, I'm sorry. I can’t be your boyfriend without being sure of what I feel. I don’t want to deceive you, you're a good girl.**

**E: Cut it out, Steve! I need some time to think.**

Elisa finally left and Steve stood watching Elisa leave, but he was relieved to have clarified what he feels at the moment, she has every right to not look in his face anymore, but if she decides to continue with him, she will also be aware of the truth.

Steve came back in the room and didn’t expect to see Natasha awake. He was still mad with her, but he can’t see her weak like she was, it always soft his heart.

Natasha is also resentful, they looked at each other briefly, then looked away.

**S: Guys, I told you to not let you mother tired.**

**N: They’re behaving.**

There were more knocks on the door, this time it was Laura.

**L: Hello. I came to get the children. How do you feel, Natasha?**

**N: Bored.**

**L: I suppose so.**

**Sarah: Dad, let us stay.**

**J: Please!**

**S: Hospital is not a place for you.**

**L: Look, there's a delicious chocolate cake I made and is waiting for you at home.**

**N: Really?**

**L: I brought a piece for you.**

Laura smiled and handed a pot to Steve.

Sarah and James kissed Natasha, then Steve, and they left with Laura.

Steve set the pot on the table beside Natasha's bed.

**N: You didn’t tell them.**

**S: Huh?**

**N: They didn’t ask about the baby.**

**S: No, I thought it would be better wait. We don’t know what will happen.**

**N: Steve... I'm sorry for everything that happened when I suffered that accident and for waking up withou memories. I’m sorry for disappointing you.**

**S: I don’t blame you for this, Natasha.**

**N: I know. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that I lost the memory of our life together.**

****

Steve looked in Natasha’s eyes and she seemed to be so honest and calm right now.

**N: I tried, I really tried but... it everything still seems very surreal to me, I think every day that this is some kind of prank, you know? Not that it's bad, but I feel lost every day. There are people who greet me on the street and I have no idea who they are. And there are other people who even seem to be intimate with me and I don’t... I don’t know who they are, and I can’t reach their expectation of friendship, but I don’t actually care about any of them. What worried me the most was reaching your expectation of love and the children’s. I can’t stop thinking about it. Everything I do, it always seems to contribute to your suffering, or to give false hope to the children. I feel as if.... If it were wrong to be in your life, it’s as if I didn’t belong or fit in your lives.**

Steve heard everything Natasha said, in the end, he reflected and understood everything she was saying.

**S: Natasha, the children... They are just happy to have you awake again, if it were only for them to see you a little, like it was when you were in coma, they would still be Happy, because you are their mother, they love you, they have no expectations to be reached. They are simple children, they are the best thing in this world that has ever happened to us.**

**N: But what about you?**

**S: Me? Natasha, I never demanded anything from you, you said you wanted to try and you did and when you couldn’t anymore, you preferred to move on with your life. I missed you, of course, I loved you, but I'm an adult, I can deal with it.**

**N: You loved? You dont anymore?**

**S: I don’t know.**

Natasha again felt a pain cross her chest and squeeze her heart. All she did, get away, be colder, go out with others, was so that Steve could live his life in a better way, without having to face the woman he loves and lost her memory every day, that sounds a lot more agonizing and she couldn’t take the risk of just trying and trying, unable to feel anything, for in the end drop him and the kids again, causing the same loss they once had, but how could she explain it to him? It doesn’t matter now, because she got what she wanted. About the feelings for her, Steve already puts it in the past, as if he doesn’t feel it anymore and it wasn’t for that to be causing so much pain in her, so much that she wants to cry now.

But no, wish to cry, Natasha feels from time to time, difficult is the action of crying itself. Maybe because she can’t cry and always hold her emotions and feelings that are much more painful.

Natasha's pressure automatically rose after these thoughts and emotions, the equipment started to beep again and in a few minutes they put her under anesthetic effects again.

Steve again felt guilty, even more because this time, she didn’t wake in 24 hours, not even in 48 hours, not even a week after that...


	51. Truths - Part 2

A month and a half. This is the time that Natasha is in an induced coma due to her fragile situation.

Today, Fury and Hill were in the hospital, accompanying Cho to inform Steve about the health of Natasha and the babies.

**Fury: Captain? Could you come out here for a minute?**

Steve, who was still in Natasha's room, got up from the couch and went into the hall. Hill looked at Steve's expression, it had no despair, it had concern and he seemed very calm with all that is happening, and this is not normal for Steve.

Cho closed the bedroom door and led Steve into another room. Hill and Fury accompanied them.

**Cho: Steve, Hill talked to me about the abortion, that Natasha stated that she wants that.**

Hill watched Steve, but his face was focused, as if he were only using reason at the moment, which is very rare, since that when it is about Natasha, he only thinks with his heart.

**S: Are the babies killing her?**

**Cho: N-no... that was not what I was going to say.**

Cho was surprised by the direct question.

**Cho: They... They make her more fragile indeed, but we're managing to control her and the babies' health. She is more than three months now and having an abortion now, it would be a bit risky, since she is too weak at the moment, but you being the father... You can decide if we interrupt as she wants.**

Steve heard Cho and walked to a corner of the room, he folded his arms and seemed to be thinking. Everyone respected the silence and the time Steve needed.

**S: If she remaings pregnant, will she be okay?**

**Cho: Based on the tests and the response that she has given to the treatment we are doing, yes, she will be fine.**

Steve took a deep breath and shook his head. He didn’t think in anything else for the month that passed. As much as he hates abortions, that's what she's already decided, and he's not sure whether or not he has the right to authorize it.

He feels as if the twins were his children and allowing this to occur, it hurts him too much, and on the other hand, he does not want to impose the pregnancy on Natasha.

The anger he feels about her for not wanting the babies increased every day, even though she was in a coma and that changed his feelings and his way of acting.

**Cho: You seem in doubt.**

**S: Yes. I want the babies, but she doesn’t. It's complicated to decide without her.**

**F: Captain... She wants it.**

Steve looked at Fury, surprised.

**F: She won’t say that, tho, she would never admit it, and maybe she doesn’t know, but she wants the babies.**

**H: That's true.**

**F: She aborted Clint’s child once.**

**S: I know.**

**F: She discovered the pregnancy in the morning and in the afternoon she was no longer pregnant. It was quick and easy like that. She discovered this pregnancy and didn’t end it.**

**H: I'm her friend, Steve. I know her, maybe better than you. If she wanted to take them off, she would have taken them off. At first, she didn’t want to have James too, but then she loved him immensely.**

**S: So, do you think if she was awake she would keep them?**

**F: I think she was going to say she would not keep it, but she would come up with countless excuses to postpone the abortion until someone said that abortion would no longer be possible. Myself, I offered to help her and she turned it down promptly. She is in doubt because she wants the babies.**

**H: Maybe not the babies themselves, but I don’t think she wants to kill a part of you that lives inside her.**

**S: I don’t know... I mean, she doesn’t know if they are mine.**

**H: It's okay, Steve.**

**F: She will remaing pregnant.**

Fury looked at Cho and decided instead of Steve. Steve looked a little more relieved.

**F: You should go home and stay with the kids for a bit, get some rest and stay away from this environment.**

**H: I'll stay here with her.**

Steve looked at Fury and Hill, then nodded. He needed a good night's sleep and needed to stay with his children. Steve left the hospital and went home.

When Steve arrived, he opened the door and as soon as Sarah and James saw him, they were super happy to have their father at home.

**J: Did you come to take a shower?**

**S: No, I came to sleep at home.**

**Sarah: Really???**

**S: Really.**

**J: What about Mom?**

**S: She's still in the hospital, but she's getting better.**

**Sarah: Why can’t we see her today?**

**S: Because she was a little sick, but she'll wake up and I'll take you there.**

**L: Steve, I didn’t know you were coming and I didn’t leave lunch ready.**

**S: Laura, don’t worry. You can take the rest of the day off, I'll stay with them.**

**L: You must be exhausted.**

**S: I'm fine. Don’t worry.**

**L: Are you sure?**

**S: Yes, yes, I am.**

**L: Okay ... Bye, bye guys. See you tomorrow.**

Sarah and James waved to Laura, who left.

Steve sat on the couch and opened his arms, Sarah and James sat on the couch next to Steve, hugging their father. Steve kissed their foreheads.

**S: You know there's nothing that I love more in this world than you two, right?**

Sarah smiled and nodded, but James analyzed Steve's behavior.

**J: What happened, dad?**

**S: I can’t hide anything from you anymore, James, can I? You’re becoming a very smart boy...**

Steve smiled.

**S: Let's say that dad is a little tired.**

**J: Why?**

**S: Things of life, James. You're too young yet to understand.**

**Sarah: Are you sad?**

Steve looked at Sarah and he was going to nod, but no, he's not sad, he's just dispirited.

Steve actually feels more confident and determined about what he wants in his life, what he needs to have in his life. Unfortunately, he sees Natasha as an evil to his emotional state now. It is still impossible for him to not love her, he loves her too much, but he no longer needs to love her with every bit of his soul. The basics he needs to live are his children.

**S: No, Daddy is tired, but not enough to not do a lot of tingling on those tummies.**

Steve tickled Sarah and James, they both laughed a lot

**S: I'm going to take a shower now and when I get back, let's watch a movie and eat popcorn.**

Steve got up and went to his bedroom.

James was still confused with Steve.

**J: Daddy's strange.**

**Sarah: Strange how?**

**J: I don’t know. Different.**

It's no use trying to talk to Sarah because she's too young to understand.

After the shower, Steve went into the living room and then in the kitchen, preparing a microwave popcorn.

James chose the movie and the three spent the afternoon watching the movie.

After the movie, Steve helped each with their homework, he even played ball with James a little, inside the same apartment, breaking a few stuffs and then he spent some time teaching Sarah drawing tricks, since she is also fascinated by drawing, just like him.

**Sarah: I'm going to draw a heart for Mommy. Are you going to give it to her?**

**S: Of course I will.**

****

Steve smiled and then made the dinner, the three of them dined together, as usual, and Steve noticed James's ear that was all black with dirt.

**S: James, did you shower?**

**J: I did.**

**S: And that ear, boy?**

James shrugged, Steve went to the bathroom and noticed that it was all very dry and James's towel dry too.

**S: James...**

**J: Oh, I took a shower in the morning! I don’t need two.**

**S: But you played, went to school, you did a lot of things and if you got dirty, you have to bathe again. Come on, go take a real shower.**

James complained and crawled into the bathroom.

Steve looked at Sarah.

**S: And you, lady?**

**Sarah: I did!**

**S: Really? Let me see.**

Steve tickled Sarah's neck and she laughed a lot.

**S: It's time for bed!**

Sarah ran into her bedroom and threw herself on top of the bed. Steve came in shortly after and he missed the days when she asked to go to bed, but with Laura sleeping there for days, Sarah got used to going to bed alone, just as she was getting independent in other things, like tying shoes, brushing the teeth, tidying the hair.

Steve stood for a while at the door, looking at Sarah, he was smiling and Sarah was intrigued.

**Sarah: You look like a fool, daddy.**

**S: Am I?**

Sarah nodded, Steve approached her and covered her, he knelt beside Sarah's bed and stroked her face.

**S: Would you like to have a little brother?**

**Sarah: Yes! Jamie!!!**

**S: No... Not James, I mean another brother, a baby...**

**Sarah: A baby?**

Steve was afraid of Sarah's reaction, she was too thoughtful, but then she grinned and nodded.

**Sarah: I love babies!**

**S: What if it's 2?**

**Sarah: Who's going to have two babies?**

**S: Your mommy.**

Sarah was thoughtful again.

**Sarah: Well... Okay, I guess, if it's just her.**

Steve smiled relieved.

**S: What do you mean?**

**Sarah: I can share mommy, but I don’t want to share my daddy.**

**S: You share me with James.**

**Sarah: Yeah. Only him!**

**S: Sarah...**

**Sarah: The babies are yours too??**

Steve nodded and Sarah frowned.

**Sarah: Then I don’t want to!**

**S: Don’t be silly, that does not make you stop being my daughter** **and my princess. Now go to sleep, it's already late.**

**Sarah: Daddy?**

**S: Yes?**

Steve was already on his way to the door.

**Sarah: Did you call Mérida for my party?**

Steve looked at Sarah, confused, not knowing what she was talking about.

**Sarah: Princess Merida.**

Now Steve realized that tomorrow is Sarah's birthday and she has been talking since last year that she wanted a party with the theme of Brave and that she wanted to get to know Mérida.

Steve completely forgot about Sarah's birthday.

**S: Sarah... I'm going to bring Merida to you. But could it be another day?**

**Sarah: But it's my birthday.**

**S: I know, princess. I just need to find the little bears.**

**Sarah: Merida’s brothers?**

**S: Yes. You'll want them at your party, won’t you?**

Sarah smiled and nodded.

**Sarah: I've already called everyone from my school.**

**S: Did you? For tomorrow?**

**Sarah: Yeah.**

**S: Sarah...**

Steve did not know what to say, the feeling of guilty for forgetting her birthday was too big.

**Sarah: It's going to be really nice, right, daddy?**

**S: Yeah, yeas, it will... Nite-nite, baby.**

**Sarah: Nite-nite pretty daddy mine.**

Sarah smiled then closed her eyes.

Steve could not deny a party anymore, he will have to give this party somehow. Steve turned off the bedroom light and entered James's bedroom.

**S: James... I need to tell you something, son.**

James looked at Steve.

**S: What do you think about having another sister?**

**J: Another Sarah?**

James frowned.

**J: God forbid that from happening!**

**S: James, she loves you, don’t talk like that.**

**J: She's very boring, I don’t want another.**

**S: Listen, your mother is pregnant.**

James's eyes widened.

**S: Of twins.**

James snorted in anger, but then he became pensive, and changed the look on his face.

**J: Actually, I want brothers. Will be nice.**

Steve frowned, surprised by the sudden change, but he was glad James accepted it fast.

James thought systematically... If his parents have more babies, they'll have to take care of them together and they'll get married again, that's the logic for him.

...

The next day Steve asked the help from Sarah’s teacher to have her party at the school, she agreed right away. The other moms from school who are crazy for Steve, volunteered to help arrange everything for Sarah’s party, they were going to provide candy and snacks. Steve thanked them very much, he had a lot of help, but he still needed to take care of the birthday cake.

As Steve looked across the street to see Elisa's diner, he had an idea.

Steve walked into the diner and Elisa noticed, but she didn’t rush to greet him, nor did she smile, because he didn’t look for her in these last few days, not even a call.

Steve waited for her to finish serve a table and approached her when she went to the counter.

**S: Elisa... How are you?**

**E: I’m good, what about you?**

**S: I’m ok. I want to say that I'm sorry if I hurt you.**

**E: Steve, yes I am hurt, but at least you were sincere with me, which most men are not. This is the loveliest and most hateful thing about you! If you were a jerk, it would be easier to not have feelings for you.**

Steve smiled.

**S: I know it's not my right to ask you this and in a rush, but today is Sarah's birthday and I completely forgot about. I already got a space for the party, it will be at her school, but I need a cake and I was wondering if you could do, kind of urgent...**

**E: Um... Yes, but just because I love Sarah. Cake with a shield on it?**

**S: No, she likes a movie of... I forget her name. She uses arrows and the brothers turn bears, she has red hair too...**

**E: Oh yes, I know what is it. You can leave that to me, she'll be happy with the cake I'll make.**

**S: Thank you. And I want you to come with me to the party.**

**E: Me? Are you sure? But what about her mom...**

**S: Elisa, I'm not dating Natasha, I’m just keep company to the mother of my children in the hospital, I told you that. You have to believe me.**

Elisa was thoughtful, but she nodded, after all taking her ans his date to his daughter's party is a big step and she's already full of hope of winning Rogers' heart again.

Steve called Maria Hill and explained about Sarah's birthday, and Hill said she would solve the princess's issue and the bears to show up at the party.

...

Hill hung up the phone.

**H: Your ex.**

Natasha looked at Hill.

**H: It's Sarah's birthday today.**

**N: Today is already 4th?**

**H: Yes.**

**N: God! I didn’t buy her anything.**

**H: Of course you didn’t, you were in a coma until a few hours ago. But Steve forgot about her birthday and her party, but he's running after everythin to do it on time. By the way I have to go and get a princess Merida for the party.**

Hill rolled her eyes and prepared to leave the room.

**N: Hill? Can you do me a favor?**

Hill stopped and looked at Natasha.

**N: I need to buy her something.**

**H: Do you want me to buy what for her?**

**N: She likes Merida so much, so I think you could get the same dress as the princess for her to wear at the party. I know she will love it.**

**H: Oh, and a bow and arrows!**

**N: Only if it's a toy, Hill...**

**H: Boring! That's not funny at all.**

Natasha looked at Hill, who began to laugh.

**H: I know. Is it okay if you stay here alone while I run after those things?**

**N: Yes, sure.**

**H: There's something sad about you.**

**N: I'm fine and I'm not alone.**

Natasha pointed to her belly that was already huge.

…

One hour after Hill left, Steve entered Natasha’s room. He didn’t even knock before coming in because he thought she was still in a induced coma and it was a shock to see her awake.

Steve could not even say anything, he was just standing there looking at her.

Natasha decided to break the ice.

**N: Hi...**

**S: Hi...**

Steve finally moved and walked closer to the bed, he kept looking her.

**S: How… how are you? Since when, you’re awake...?**

**N: Just a few hours ago.**

**S: And the pain?**

**N: I'm feeling nothing.**

**S: Natasha, look… about the babies... Fury told Cho to keep the pregnancy, I...**

**N: It's okay.**

Steve approached Natasha even more and stared at Natasha's belly,

Natasha stared at Steve.

**N: It's yours.**

Steve looked in Natasha's eyes.

**N: They are yours. I mean… the babies.**

**S: Are you sure?**

Natasha nodded.

Steve started to smile, even though he didn’t want to. Steve took a deep breath, showing relief, he almost cried..

Natasha reached for a glass of water and in that movement, she felt a little bit of pain. Steve approached and made her lie down on the bed.

**S: Don’t move, please.**

**N: I'm just thirsty.**

**S: I’ll take it for you.**

Steve took the glass of water, and put the straw. Natasha lifted her arm to take the glass, but Steve himself placed the straw in Natasha's mouth, she took a sip and laid her head on the pillow.

The slightest movement still tires her.

**N: Hill told me about Sarah's party.**

**S: Yeah, I forgot, but I figure out something.**

**N: It's your specialty, isn’t it? Solve things...**

Natasha gave a small smile.

**N: I want to go to ther paty.**

**S: No way. You can’t leave the hospital.**

**N: She'll be sad if I'm not there.**

**S: She will understand. I'll bring her here later. I promise.**

Natasha nodded and suddenly she opened her eyes wide and opened her mouth too. Steve was startled.

**S: What??**

**N: I don’t know.**

**S: Pain?**

Natasha shook her head.

**N: Something strange. I don’t know.**

Natasha frowned and then put her hand on her belly. She returned to feel normal, but a minute later the same strange sensation again bothered her.

**S: I'll get help.**

Steve called a nurse who was passing by in front of the room, she entered the room and checked Natasha's vital signs.

**\- She is fine. What did you feel exactly, honey?**

**N: I don’t know how to explain, it was something weird, like... uh… a tingling in my stomach, I don’t know...**

Natasha made the same expression again and put her hand on her belly.

**N: It’s happening now!**

The nurse put her hands on Natasha's belly and then smiled.

**\- Is this your first pregnancy, right?**

**N: Yes.**

**S: No.**

Steve and Natasha responded at the same time, the two looked at each other.

**S: It's just... Yes, technically it's like her first pregnancy, but she has two other kids, but she lost part of her memories.**

**\- Oh, it’s fine! Don’t worry, the babies are just moving inside you. It feels new to you, but you get used to it fast. That's the best part, you can be sure they're alive.**

**N: Do them already have legs?**

**\- Oh yes, for sure, honey.**

**S: Is he moving yet?**

**\- Yes, they are both. They are very agitaded. Do you want to feel, dad?**

Steve was smiling so hard he looked as if he was going to tear his face, he looked at Natasha who nodded, allowing him to touch her belly.

**\- I'll leave the couple alone.**

Steve and Natasha were extremely embarrassed and the nurse withdrew.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed and laid his hands on Natasha's belly. Steve waited minutes and the babies seemed to have gone to sleep.

**S: They don’t want to move for me.**

Steve removed his hands, but Natasha took his hand and put it back on her belly. They both looked into each other's eyes when their hands touched. Natasha didn’t remove her hand from Steve's.

**N: You have to wait and be patient.**

And they waited... Almost ten minutes until one of the babies kicks. Steve smiled again and Natasha smiled, charmed by Steve's happiness with beings that are not even yet born.

**N: You were like this in the pregnancy of James and Sarah?**

**S: Like what?**

**N: Smiling like that.**

**S: I don’t know. It's likely.**

Steve smiled and Natasha smiled back.

Natasha sighed and she had something important to say to Steve, but his cell phone rang just when she would open her mouth.

**S: Just a minute.**

Steve walked to the couch.

**_S: Batman balloons? But it's a princess party, Sam. She is a girl. Sam... Sam... All right, it’s all right, if you only found these, take it anyway? I know it's late, I’m sorry and thank you._ **

Steve hung up.

**N: Batman?**

Natasha questioned afe listening to his call. Steve looked at her.

**S: That’s what he could find for the party...**

**N: I bet she won’t even notice that.**

**S: Certainly not.**

**N: Steve?**

**S: Yes?**

Steve was answering messages on his cell phone, which made him ignore Natasha.

**N: Steve?**

**S: Hmm? Just a minute.**

Steve got into another call.

Natasha kept noticing Steve's way, he was extremely happy to feel the babies, but he didn’t show the same happiness at seeing her awake.

Steve asked the person to wait and looked at Natasha.

**S: What is it you were going to say?**

Natasha opened her mouth to speak, but she needed his full attention, so she made negative with her head, since he didn’t end the call.

Natasha felt bad for Steve not directing all his attention to her, he is always extremely atencious with her. She first, the others later.

Steve stayed for almost twenty minutes, just making calls and receiving calls. When he finally stopped, Natasha felt irritated by the lack of attention, and couldn’t say what she wanted.

**S: I'm sorry, I've never had a party so fast in my entire life.**

**N: I believe so.**

**S: Did you think of a name?**

**N: Huh?**

**S: For the babies...**

**N: No... I don’t even know what they are.**

**S: I think they're girls.**

**N: Both?**

**S: Yes. I love the name Charlotte. And Lindsay.**

**N: What if they are boys?**

**S: Boys? Well, I don’t know, I think I'd like to pay homage to Sam, since he complains that Bucky was honored and both are my best friends.**

**N: Samuel? No... Not my son, sorry.**

Steve laughed.

**S: Didn’t think of a name?**

Natasha shook her head.

**S: I'm already thinking about moving to a bigger house. You should think of a bigger apartment for you too.** **You gonna need it.**

Natasha was serious again as Steve got another call.

Why is he making plans without her? She's going to have his babies, so why is not he including her in his future? He seems happier now than during all this time that she was living with him. Could his love be finally over? Is he in love with Elisa? Does he hate her now?

Being in love with another woman, Natasha can handle it. Not having his love anymore... well, she can also handle it. To have his hate... It's difficult, but she could bear it, there's only one thing she can’t stand and it's hurting her immensely: Steve's indifference.

When one person loves or hates someone, it is still all about feelings, and having feelings means that that person means something, otherwise it wouldn’t have a feeling of hatred or love.

Indifference hurts a lot more than hatred, it’s the level that a person does not make any difference in another person's life anymore, there is no link that connects them anymore. It’s like no matter if the person is alive or dead, sick or well, sad or happy… it doesn’t matter at all and it’s highly devastating.

Natasha frowned and looked down, thinking exactly about it. Did she provoke it? Did she provoke Steve so mucht that he reached that point with her? Was the abortion thing responsible for this wall of ice that Steve built against her?

Is she hurrying? Is it too soon? Is it too late? Why does it hurt, anyway? This is hurting her so much, she can even feel her heart shrink.

 _What is this, Natasha?_ Natasha thought she was so emotional, she was not hadleling this situation well, she can’t find a logic in all of that pain. Why is she in pain?? Is the pregnancy making her feel more emotional than she should?

The answer is yes because Steve is busy with Sarah's party and Natasha can’t judge his actions for just one day. The problem is that it was not just that particulary day, it was the next day, and the day after that and the next...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha got what she wanted...


	52. Truths - Part 3

Hill took a long time to return to visit Natasha again, and when she finally visited her, Natasha understood her reason. Hill was sad, like extremely sad and if she didn’t show before, it’s because she was sadder than she looks now and she doesn’t know how to deal with her emotions, just like Natasha, but Natasha has learned how to trust people and how to express her emotions to those who are closest to her, but Hill doesn’t know how to do that yet.

**H: I thought I'd find Steve here.**

**N: He had more important things to do.**

**H: You look better.**

**N: Yeah... I am, I guess that’s why Steve doesn’t stay here for long anymore. I’m okay but you’re not. I haven’t seen you since Sarah's birthday. Steve said he didn’t see when you left the party.**

**H: Do you remember the guy I was dating for a while?**

**N: Henry, right?**

**H: Yeah…**

Hill sighed.

**H: Well, it's over now.**

Natasha frowned.

**N: What happened??**

**H: I was at the Sarah’s party and...**

…

*During Sarah's party *

**H: Hey, birthday girl, your mom asked me to give you this present.**

Sarah gave a huge a smile, she took the present and unwrapped it, ripping the whole package in a hurry, she saw the Merida dress and she was astonished.

**Sarah: This is the best present of all time!!!! I have to show daddy! DADDY!!!**

Sarah ran to Steve who was talking to Elisa, Sharon and Sam.

**Sarah: Look what Mommy gave to me.**

Steve frowned.

**S: Is your mother here?**

Steve felt his heart freeze, Natasha is not well enough to leave the hospital yet.

**H: I brought it for her. Natasha asked me to…**

Hill said when she saw Steve all schocked.

**Sarah: There's still a bow and arrow!!!**

**S: Why don’t you show it to Uncle Clint? He will teach you how to use it.**

Sarah nodded and ran to Clint, who was calling Francis's attention in a corner, because he was beign a naughty boy.

**C: Hi birthday girl! Congratulations.**

**Sarah: Look, Uncle Clint. Same as yours.**

**C: Just the same! Can you use it?**

Sarah shook her head.

**C: I can teach you.**

**Sarah: But I have to put on my princess costume first.**

Sarah ran back to Steve and ran out of breath this time, she was running through all the party for hours.

**S: Sarah, slowly, it's your birthday, I know you're excited, but try to be calmer.**

**Sarah: My dress, my dress, daddy.**

**Elisa: I'll help you get dressed, Sarah.**

Sarah looked at Elisa and James approached and frowned at Sarah. Sarah looked at James and she was a bit upset because James said she can’t be nice to Elisa.

Sarah ignored Elisa and looked at Sharon Carter.

**Sarah: Will you help me, please?**

Sharon nodded and smiled.

**Sharon: Of course.**

Sarah looked at Elisa who was surprised that she ignored her.

Sarah felt too bad for doing this, she likes Elisa and she doesn’t understand why she has to treat her badly. Sharon retired with Sarah and took her inside the school to change her clothes.

**Sharon: There you go. You are ready and you look beautiful, Sarah.**

**Sarah: I'm not Sarah, anymore. I'm the Hawkeye!**

Sarah picked up the bow and arrow and hurried back to the party.

Hill approached Elisa because she seemed to be out of place at the party and Steve had gone to pay attention to other guests.

Sharon returned to the party and joined Hill and Elisa, and so did Sam who approached and kissed Sharon on the lips.

Sam looked at Maria Hill.

**Sam: Hill, there's a dude looking for you at the entrance.**

**H: What dude?**

**Sam: Oh, look at him, right there.**

Hill turned to look at who it was and she nearly choked on the whiskey she was drinking. Of course the whiskey was in a disposable cup to look like soda to the eyes of everyone else.

Henry waved at Hill, before entering the party. Hill walked to him and she frowned, startled.

**H: Henry!? What are you doing here??**

**Henry: Well, I came to Sarah's party...**

Hill still looked astonished.

**Henry: She invited my daughter, since you forgot to invite me to the party of your daughter.**

Hill opened her mouth to speak, but her mind went blank. What could she say? To make everything worse, Sarah came running around and screaming for Steve.

**Sarah: Daddy, Daddy!**

Henry frowned and watched Sarah run over to Steve and he picked her up.

Henry looked at Hill.

**Henry: Oh... Now I get it.**

**H: What?**

**Henry: Your ex is here.**

**H: Huh?**

**Henry: I thought you told me he lives in Canada, but... He's here and he is the captain America…**

**H: Uhm...**

Steve approached Henry and held out his hand to greet him.

**S: Hi! I don’t think we've met yet. I'm Steve Rogers.**

**Henry: Yeah, I know, my name is Henry.**

Sarah looked at Henry and raised her eyebrows, then she looked at Hill, who seemed to be wanting to kill her. Sarah raised her hands in the air, indicating that she forgot she shouldn’t have called Henry's daughter.

**S: Please, excuse me and enjoy the party...**

**Henry: Thank you.**

Steve left with Sarah.

Henry looked at Hill.

**Henry: Does he know that we...?**

**H: Oh yes, yes, he does know, of course.**

**Henry: He seems to be okay with that.**

Henry seemed surprised.

**H: Yeah, we've been separated for a long time, you know...**

Hill had to make her moves to prevent Henry to talk to her friends in common with Steve and Natasha, and she was relieved to have been all right during all the party until the time of the singing Happy Birthday.

When everyone was gathered around the cake table, the lights went out, the candles lit, and everyone was singing Happy Birthday, Sarah was smiling, she looked at James beside her, then at Steve and then at the crowd around her. Many people there, but none of those faces, was her mother's, and she wanted Natasha there.

Sarah's smile broke off quickly, she started to blink and stopped to clap her hands along with everyone else, Sarah lowered her head and Steve watched her and got worried.

Steve put his hand on Sarah's back.

**S: Hey, baby… What happened?**

The Happy Birthday singing finished and the candles were still burning. The guests were silent, watching Sarah and she began to cry.

**Sarah: I want my mommy!!!**

Sarah cried out loud.

**Henry: Wait, she's right here.**

Henry shouted and pointed at Hill, who turned sideways and pretended to not be with her. Steve and the other guests looked at Henry, confused, it sounded like a bad joke because everyone knows Natasha is in the hospital.

Henry was extremely embarrassed and lowered his hand.

Steve looked into Sarah’s eyes.

**S: Honey, we'll see Mom as soon as we get out of here, okay?**

**Sarah: No! I want her now!!!**

**S: Can we serve the cake for everybody and go?**

**Sarah: No! I want mommy!!! I want mommy, daddy!**

Sarah cried even more.

**S: Alright, alright, no problem. Listen, I have to serve the cake for the guests, so you blow the candles, we serve the cake and then we go to the hospital to see mommy, okay?**

Sarah nodded and wiped her tears, she leaned over the cake to blow the candles, but Francis Barton blowed before she could and he started to laugh of sarah’s expression.

**Torunn: Francis, you idiot!**

Torunn punched Francis in the face, who started to cry because Torunn is very strong. Francis was going to push Torunn, but James came forward and ended up being pushed by Francis, and Francis got angry because James interfered so he grabbed James' shirt and Torunn grabbed Francis's, trying to get him off James.

Sarah found it funny and began to laugh, while Clint, Laura and Steve separated the three.

Henry looked at Hill.

**Henry: So, is there anything you want to tell me?**

Hill was too embarrassed to face Henry now.

**Henry: You're unbelievable. I thought I had found the right woman this time... I thought you were different and I thought you were like me.**

Henry smiled, but it was pure sarcasm and sadness.

**Henry: I guess I was wrong about you.**

****

Henry turned to leave, he picked up his daughter, and withdrew from the party. Hill wanted to run after him to say at least that she is sorry, but it seemed as if she had glued her shoes to the ground and she couldn’t move or speak.

...

*Current days*

**N: Why did you pretend Sarah was your daughter? That’s just so stupid.**

**H: I know!!**

**N: Anyway, why are you feeling bad for this? It’s not like you like this guy, I mean… c’mon…**

**H: I like do like him, Natasha.**

**N: Do you like him? For real?**

Hill nodded.

**N: Hill... please. You never like anyone. Like no one, you never feel anything, you’re like my inspiration…**

**H: Yeah...**

Natasha watched Hill and though she would laugh, or make fun of it, but she was really sad, so Natasha frowned.

**N: If you really like him, why didn’t you go after him when he left the party? Why didn’t you call him, or tried to show what you were feeling?**

**H: For the same reasons you have to not admit that you are in love with Steve.**

Natasha went silent and Hill too. They both looked at each other and sighed.

**N: We are very fucked up.**

**H: Yes, we are.**

****

**N: Why can’t we deal with what we feel?**

**H: I don’t know. Part of the job, I guess…**

Hill shrugged and Natasha frowned, thinking about something, she looked at Hill.

**N: Hill... Listen to me. Maybe it's not late, you should look for him.**

Hill laughed and shook her head.

**H: Are you kidding?**

**N: No.**

**H: I can’t, you know that. That’s absurd.**

**N: Yes, you can.**

**H: I’m not running after any man, c’mon, are you going to run after Steve by any chance?**

Natasha was silent again.

**H: That's what I thought!**

**N: Maybe! I don’t know… He's different.**

**H: Are you sure of what you feel for him now?**

Natasha sighed again and shook her head.

**N: I don’t know. I mean, I know, but I'm afraid.**

**H: Of loving him?**

**N: Fear of failing to love him.**

**H: I don’t understand.**

**N: It’s like I’m afraid to not love him in a while. How will I know how I will feel in a few months, or years… What I mean is that I think I am in lov...**

Natasha stopped talking when she heard knocks on the door, Natasha hoped it was Steve, but it was her friend, Clint Barton.

**C: Did I disrupt a SHIELD gossip?**

**H: Screw you, Barton. I need to go.**

Hill just left the room, she wasn’t in the mood for talks, but that’s what is always expected from her.

Clint approached Natasha.

**C: How you doing?**

**N: Surviving.**

**C: Good… The babies?**

**N: They’re okay.**

**C: Listen, Tasha… I need to tell you something.**

**N: What is it?**

**C: It’s about Laura.**

**N: The nanny?? God!! I knew it! I knew it! Have you told Bobbi yet?**

**C: Are you crazy? If I tell her, I wake up in a mysterious place with my bag of arrows stuffed into my ass.**

**N: But did anything happen between you and Laura?**

**C: No, of course not.**

**N: Clint... I need to ask you something.**

**C: Say it...**

**N: Have you seen Steve?**

**C: Yes.**

**N: How do you think he is?**

**C: Oh… what do you mean by…**

**N: I mean how he is feeling, does he seems fine, or sad, or worried?**

**C: Oh he is fine. Actually, I haven’t see him that fine for so long.**

Natasha took a deep breath, feeling her heart hurt. How can Steve isbe fine if he hardly visits her now, who is making him happy than not her?

**C: Why are you asking?**

**N: Nothing...**

**C: Uhm...**

**N: Is he dating Elisa yet?**

**C: I don’t know, I think so, every once in a while they go out together. Must be.**

Natasha snorted and Clint noticed Natasha's jealousy.

**C: Wow... Is this happening again?**

**N: What?**

**C: You're falling for him.**

**N: Shut up.**

**C: Wow Natasha, it took a while, don’t you think?**

**N: I'm not.**

**C: I know you. My mother always said that soul mates will always be in love. You have lost your memory, but not your heart.**

**N: Well, your mother is wrong.**

**C: About what?**

**N: He's not in love with me, not anymore.**

**C: But you consider him to be your soul mate, then?**

**N: What?**

Natasha was confused by Clint's questions, she frowned and pushed him.

**N: You're going to make this equipment beep. Get out of here.**

**C: You know if you snap your fingers, he comes back pretty fast for you.**

**N: It’s not like that anymore.**

**C: If it was, as soon as he arrived here, you would reject him.**

**N: Yeah, you know me that well. Barton… why didn’t we work out? You and me?**

Clint started to laugh.

**N: I mean, besides the abortion that made you hate me at that time... but... We got along just fine, right?**

**C: I would make jokes, you would not laugh, I would tinker you and you would beat me, I would say anything and you would roll your eyes.**

Natasha laughed, remembering the moments when she and Clint were in a love relationship.

**C: You always wanted to show that you don’t care enough about anyone or anyone you date. I'm not trying to make you feel bad... I’m just trying to make you see the same as me, I only saw you demonstrate real love and passion for one person...**

**N: You're going to say Steve...**

**C: See? You already know the answer.**

**N: That's what everybody says.**

**C: That's how everybody saw, Natasha.**

**N: When we first made love after the coma I was in. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced.**

**C: I don’t want to hear about it, spare me.**

**N: Shut up, Clint. I'm serious. I could feel his love through his touch and when he looked at me, he left me naked, more naked than I already was. I couldn’t accept it.**

**C: Then you ran away.**

**N: I didn’t feel anything. It felt good to feel his love, but I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t know him. But even feeling nothing, I felt that at some point he would realize that and get hurt, and I didn’t want this to happen. The most impressive was that even after we divorced and I left his house, he still loved me at the same intensity, it was difficult to keep away from what attracted me so much.**

**C: Just attraction?**

**N: Just attraction.**

**C: But something has changed...**

**N: Yeah... I don’t know how or when. I didn’t even notice it, just now.**

**C: Then you want him back.**

**N: I want him to be happy. How can anyone be happy with me?**

**C: He was happy with you, Natasha and if you're feeling this way, you should be honest with him.**

**N: I can’t, he doesn’t want me anymore, he's overcoming and moving on.**

**C: But he's not quite gone yet.**

**N: I'm afraid to make him come back and then give up again. What if I don’t feel the same in a month or a year? What if I'm only proudly wounded?**

**C: I don’t know. These are questions that only you have the answer.**

**Clint kissed Natasha's forehead and left the room. Natasha rested her head on the pillow and half an hour later, she fell asleep.**

...

About a month later, Steve and Elisa were talking at the door of the diner at night. The diner was already closed.

**S: So tell me about this new guy who wants to steal you from me.**

**E: Stop, Steve.**

Elisa laughed and Steve smiled.

**E: He's just an idiot who has not left my side since I got into college.**

**S: Is he handsome like me?**

**E: You know that’s impossible.**

**S: Well, then keep looking.**

Elisa laughed and Steve too.

**E: Don’t be silly. I'll never find a man like you.**

**S: I don’t think so. You can find some better.**

**E: Maybe. Likely...**

Elisa laughed again.

**S: I'm just kidding, I think you should give the idiot a try.**

**E: Really?**

**S: Yes...**

**E: And you?**

**S: Me? I am fine.**

**E: Are you going to have another woman?**

**S: No... I have no intentions and no interest in anyone right now.**

**E: Except for a certain redhead...**

**S: No... I told you, that passed. I’m over it.**

**E: It does not look like it.**

**S: Do you want to know if I still love her? Yes. If I want to be with her? No. I'm finally feeling good, alone.**

**E: No one is well alone.**

**S: Well they say that I am different from everybody... And I am not alone, I have two beautiful children and two more on the way.**

**E: And where are you going all charming like that?**

**S: My friends want to take me to a bar. By the way, I have to go. Do you want a ride home?**

**E: No, go have fun, I'll take a cab.**

Steve kissed Elisa's face and got on the bike, he honked before leaving. Elisa waved and motioned for a cab that was passing on the street.

A few weeks ago, Elisa and Steve decided that they couldn’t date anymore, and after much insistence, Steve managed to make Elisa accept to be friends with him and they have been good friends. Only.

...

A few days later...

**N: Can I go home now?**

**Cho: No... Not yet.**

**N: I feel fine!**

Steve knocked on the door and entered the room.

**Cho: Hi, daddy of the year.** **Welcome.**

**S: Hello, Dr. Cho. How are you, Natasha?**

Natasha looked at Steve and nodded.

**S: How are the babies?**

**Cho: They gave us a little fright this morning.**

**S: What do you mean??**

**Cho: Natasha had a little bleeding, but she's under control now.**

Steve looked at Natasha worriedly.

**N: They're fine.**

**Cho: Yes, they are fine. Excuse me.**

Cho left the room, Steve walked over to the bed and looked at Natasha's belly.

**S: Can I?**

Natasha sat better on the bed and nodded to allow Steve to touch her beely. Steve sat on the bed and laid his hands on Natasha's belly, which still makes her sigh.

**S: It's huge.**

Steve smiled.

**N: I hope you're talking about the babies.**

Natasha frowned a bit. Steve looked in her eyes.

**S: Yeah... You’re Okay, don’t worry.**

Steve bent over and kept his ear pressed to Natasha's belly.

**S: Hey, babies? Are you listening? It's Daddy here. Get out of there safely, okay? And stop scaring us.**

Natasha laughed softly at Steve talking to the babies.

**N: My navel is not a microphone, you know that, right?**

**S: Who said no? Yes it is.**

Steve spoke to the babies again.

**S: Tell Mom that you guys are listening to what I say.**

The babies kicked Natasha's belly, and both Steve and Natasha were surprised.

**N: It was just a coincidence.**

**S: No, no, no, they heard. And they answered me. They answered dad.**

Natasha and Steve laughed and Natasha looked to her belly.

**N: Okay... Babes, are you listening???**

Natasha put her hands on the sides of her belly, this time the babies didn’t move. She raised an eyebrow, looking at Steve.

**N: See?**

**S: No, no, they talked to me.** **I'm sure.**

Natasha and Steve laughed.

Steve sat up correct again and continued to caress Nat’s belly. Natasha broke her smile and looked to the side for a few seconds, then she looked back at Steve, who was admiring the shape of Natasha's belly and she felt a chill run through her body, uncertain of what to do or not about what Hill and Clint told her.

Natasha frowned and took a deep breath, making the decision to try. She slipped her fingers imperceptibly until she reached Steve's hand, and when she touched his fingers, she lost her breath, she wasn’t sure about how he would react and it was like if her heart had stopped of fear of what could happen.

Steve looked at Natasha's fingers in his hand and he stopped moving his hand and he was just staring at their hands for a minute.

Natasha didn’t know what Steve was thinking now and she was feeling stupid to have had the initiative to touch him. Steve sighed, keeping his stare to their hands and then he moved his finger down on Natasha's hand, caressing one of her fingers.

Natasha finally breathed again, it was a relief to see that he accepted this small, but significant, gesture of love of her. Natasha waited for Steve to look to her eyes now, but he took a few more minutes to finally look in her eyes.

All that Natasha wanted and expected was for Steve to kiss her right now, as he always does, showing love and desire for her and all that longing he feels for her and now she shares the same longing, but Steve only removed his hand from her and got up.

Natasha felt as if he had taken her heart from her chest, she is not an affectionate person, she never has the initiative to start things like cuddles, stroking, kissing, etc, but she decided to do it for Steve and even being afraid of doing it, she had the courage to do it, but Steve did not respond the way she expected.

Steve walked away from her bed and remained silent and with his back to Natasha, he turned his face a little to the side, but not enough to look into her eyes.

**S: I… I have to go.**

****

Natasha felt her eyes fog when Steve left the room and left her alone, when she rubbed her eyes, she noticed that her vision was fog by the tears that were blurring her eyes, she opened her lips, because breathing only through her nose, was not enough. If he had just shot her, it would hurt less than that.

_♫ I see you making mistake and this is not a sin_

_Except when it makes another person bleed_

_I see you dreaming and it scares me_

_Lost in a world that I can’t get in_  
  
You are walking out of my life

_And it looks like it's going to take a while_

_If you don’t know how to come back_

_At least send news_

_Do you think I'm crazy?_

_But everything will fit_

_  
I'm enjoying every second_

_Before everything turns into a tragedy_

_  
And it's no use even looking for me._

_In other tones, in other laughs_

_I was here all the time_

_Only you didn’t see_

_  
You're always coming and going, that's okay_

_This time I already put on my armor_

_And even if nothing works_

_I'll be standing, chin up_

_Then you see me red and thinks it’s funny_

_But I wouldn’t look good on your shelf_

_  
Just for today I don’t want to see you anymore_

_Just for today I will not take my dose of you_

_I'm tired of crying about wounds that do not close, that do not heal_

_And this abstinence one hour will pass_

_♪_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song at the end in from a singer from my country, her name is Pitty and the song's title is "Na Sua Estante", just in case you want to know the song, check on youtube.


	53. Let's go Home

Steve left Natasha's room and closed the door. He stood outside, trying to understand what had just happened. Natasha stroked his hand, or it was just an impression? Was she really caressing his hand, or was she just trying to make him feel the babis? Steve is pretty aware that he can understand any signal coming from her in the wrong way, the way he wants it to be and not what it really is.

**\- Are you alright, sir?**

Steve looked at the nurse who thought something was wrong with him.

Steve nodded.

**S: Yes, thank you.**

If Natasha is trying to get close to him, it could be just a pregnancy effect, or it could be for real, or she might not be trying anything. In any case, in what of thos situations, Steve wouldn’t ended up hurt? That was his though, and he always comes to the same conclusion: he would get hurt.

Natasha trying something, now that he's so close to his freedom... No... no way. He can’t take a chance, so he can’t even have any form of contact with her now, because if she is really trying something, he still not that strong and if he looks into her green eyes, it becomes much easier to give in to her charms.

Steve left the hospital and did not return to visit Natasha, despite going to the hospital to know about her condition and the babies’. Cho said that Natasha had a little bleeding at night, but that was normal and didn’t offer risk to her nor the babies.

…

A few weeks later, Natasha was already able to walk around the room and around the hospital corridors and from time to time she would threaten to leave the hospital for good, but she ended up beind conviced to stay by the nurses and also because she feels pain when she walks too much.

Natasha heard knocks on the door, she waited for the person to come in and she always thinks it will be Steve, but it was not him. Again.

 _If it wasn’t him yesterday or the day before yesterday, why would it be him today, you stupid?_ Natasha fought with herself.

Nick Fury entered the room.

**NF: Romanoff, how are you?**

**N: Huge.**

**NF: Indeed. So, boys or girls?**

**N: Both.**

**NF: A boy and a girl? Interesting. What are the names?**

**N: I don’t know.**

Nick looked confused.

**N: Their father didn’t decide and didn’t even show up around here anymore, so I don’t know.**

Natasha sighed and sat down on the bed. Fury approached.

**NF: He's hurt, Natasha. He's moving on.**

**N: Yeah, without me.**

**NF: Yes. Sometimes people get tired of chasing someone. I'm not saying you made him chase after you on purpose, life threw a big prank on you when you had that accident and woke up without any memory, but try to see his side too.**

**N: I see his side! I always did and I'm sorry! I really am, but I didn’t love him, Fury. Should I have lied?**

**NF: No. I’m not saying that, but now you do love him, and why don’t you tell him?**

Natasha laughed and shook her head.

**N: He doesn’t even show up here anymore. I think he lost the love he claimed he had for me.**

**NF: That does not happen easy.**

**N: What do you know about love?**

**NF: Nothing, I'm just a good observer. And when I see Steve, when he comes to ask me about you and the babies, I observe love. But I also observe reluctance, he does not want to feel it anymore, and if he continues like this, he'll get what he wants and you're not doing anything to stop him.**

**N: I can’t do anything.**

**NF: You're the only one who can do something about it.**

**N: How? Would I tell him that I love him now and would ask him to try again? We tried and it didn’t work, I can’t tell him that, it's the dumbest thing anyone can do.**

**NF: Stupid assume you love someone?**

**N: Sounds stupid even when you repeat that. I can’t, I'm not like that. I'm not romantic as he is, I... He should be with someone who is what he wants and needs.**

**NF: You're what he wants, in the way you are, you're no different as you think. He loved you when no one else did or felt safe enough to do it. He loved you just as you are, cold, gross and stupid, not to mention proud.**

**N: Did you come here to insult me?**

**NF: No, I came to alert you.**

Nick Fury got up and approached the door. He looked at Natasha.

**NF: Sometimes a little sacrifice can make the game turn. Wouldn’t it be worth sacrificing your pride and saying what you feel just once, even if it sounds stupid? Is he not that worth it?**

**Natasha didn’t respond to Fury and he just wanted to make her think. Nick left the hospital room and a pensive Natasha back.**

Natasha imagined her saying romantic words, and began to laugh alone, but it was not so funny, because what she has to lose without doing it, is much bigger.

Natasha lay on the bed and put her hand on her head, then punched the bed.

**N: That's stupid! I can’t say that!**

**S: Can’t say what?**

Natasha took a fright, she didn’t notice that Steve was in the room, she looked at him frightened.

**S: I'm sorry, I didn’t knock on the door, I thought you were asleep.**

Natasha has a hard time letting go of what bothers her aside, and Steve has been missing all those days makes her forget she should not fight him when she wants him around. But damn it, anger first, love after.

**N: What are you doing here?**

**S: I came to know how you are...**

**N: Apparently you have done this without having to come see me. If you'd rather meet the nurses, be comfortable, I don’t need you to come and see me.**

**J: Mom?**

Natasha looked at James, who was entering the room, after Steve and she was surprised again, she sighed and was speechless.

**S: Like I said, I brought the kids to see you.**

Natasha looked at Steve and she was so angry. So not even to see her, he came, he just came to make the sacrifice to bring the children for her? _Okay, Rogers, I hate you now._ Natasha thought.

**Sarah: Mommy, look. Let me pass.**

Sarah shoved James, who pushed her back.

**S: Stop it.**

**J: She started.**

**Sarah: He started!**

****

**J: You.**

**Sarah: You!!!**

Natasha was not patient at the moment, she took a deep breath and looked around. Sarah approached the bed and showed her knee with two band-aids.

**Sarah: I fell, mommy.**

Natasha wanted to roll her eyes. _So, you fall? So what? You’re alive,  why are you showing me this as if it were something really bad?_ That's what Natasha thought, until she looked into Sarah's eyes. It was as if she had just fallen and needed her help, because the look of desperation she made, touched Natasha’s heart.

Natasha sighed.

**N: That seems bad. Is it hurting?**

Sarah nodded.

**Sarah: But I did not cry.**

**J: But you wanted to cry.**

**Sarah: But I did not cry!!!**

**N: It's okay to cry if you feel pain, Sarah, but if you haven’t cried this time, it means you are growing.**

Natasha leaned her finger against the tip of Sarah's nose, which made her smile. Natasha didn’t notice her mood improving almost immediately.

**N: What about you, James? And the games?**

**J: Well, I was just on the bench in the last game.**

**N: Really?**

**J: Yes.**

**N: Maybe next time, you will play.**

**J: Will you be there?**

**N: Yes.**

**J: Then I'll make a point for you.**

**N: I will charge that.**

Natasha smiled.

Sarah kept her eye on Natasha's belly.

**N: Do you want to touch my tummy?**

**Sarah: Uhm...**

**N: They kick.**

**J: Yeah? Are they playing ball in there?**

**Sarah: Are you dumb? It doesn’t fit a ball in there with two babies already inside.**

****

**J: But maybe the ball is little.**

**Sarah: Oh... Is there a ball in there, mama?**

Natasha was amused and shook her head.

**N: But they'll probably enjoy playing ball.** **You can teach them.**

**J: Yeah. I'm not so good at soccer.**

**N: It could be baseball.**

Natasha lifted her blouse and Sarah laid her hand on Natasha's belly. James put his hand on the other side.

**J: They're not doing anything.**

**S: That's because you're not talking to them.**

**Sarah: He's in there, how's he going to listen?**

**S: They listen. Pay attention.**

Steve stood by Natasha's feet, beside the bed, he bent down to face her belly, then he stroked Natasha's belly.

**S: Babies? It's Dad here. Talk to me.**

The babies kicked hard at the sound of Steve's voice. Sarah and James opened their mouths in shock.

**Sarah: Oh my God, they kicked! They kicked !!!**

**J: I felt it!**

Natasha and Steve smiled and both looked at each other and looked away.

**Sarah: Oh, Mommy, Daddy bought lots of stuff for the babies and nothing for me!**

**J: Not even for me!**

**S: It's not your birthday.**

**Sarah: Is it their birthday?**

**S: It will be when they are born.**

**J: Dad took us to the new house.**

**Sarah: We will have children as neighbors. There are girls!!!**

Sarah clapped her hands and lifted her feet, excited.

**N: Really?**

Natasha looked at Steve.

**J: There's a room only for the babies.**

**N: Sounds nice.**

**J: Yes, you will love it.**

**Sarah: When does Mommy go home with us?**

**S: I don’t know, children and I talked to you about that...**

**J: It's not fair, you're going to have two babies, you have to be together.**

Natasha and Steve were embarrassed.

**S: James, we talked about it several times. Do not start.**

**J: So babies are no good! They don’t serve for anything!**

James crossed his arms.

**N: They will play with you. Don’t forget it.**

**J: Blergh.**

James grunted.

**S: Cho told me you can go home. You just have to rest.**

**N: Really??? Finally!**

**S: I just... I want you to stay with me until the babies are born.**

**N: No.**

**S: Natasha, you will not rest if you're alone. Let me take care of the babies and of you. Please.**

Natasha looked at Steve when he mentioned about taking care of her, she didn’t expect that phrase and of course it touched her heart, especially in this delicate situation. She was about to enter on the seventh month of pregnancy and she can’t stand being in that hospital room any more.

**S: I will not force you, but I would feel better if you...**

**N: Okay.**

**S: Okay?**

Natasha nodded.

**Sarah: Mommy's going home!!!!**

Sarah celebrated.

**Sarah: Come on, come on, mommy, get up.**

**S: Easy, Sarah.**

Steve looked at Natasha.

**S: Do you need help getting your things?**

**N: No, I can do it.**

Natasha lowered her shirt and her movements are much slower and harder because of the size of her belly. She got off the bed and went to pack her clothes. As she closed the suitcase, James ran and grabbed it for her.

**J: I'll take it.**

**N: No need, James.**

**J: I want to, Mom.**

Natasha ran her hand over James's head and smiled. Cho was entering the room with the discharge papers, she reminded Steve and Natasha about the total rest that Natasha needs.

**S: Don’t worry, she will behave.**

**Cho: And you know you can’t have...**

Steve and Natasha frowned uncomprehendingly. Cho didn’t want to talk about sex because of the children.

**Cho: You know... That thing...**

**N: Oh.**

**S: Huh?**

**N: We won’t do it.**

**S: We won’t do what?**

**N: Sex.**

Natasha walked out of the room, leaving Steve embarrassed back.

Steve thanked Cho and the nurses as Natasha waited for the elevator to arrive without even looking in anyone's face. _Why does he have to be so polite? So annoying!_ _I hope I never see these people ever again._ Natasha thought.

As they entered the elevator, Natasha sighed in relief.

**N: I can’t believe I'm walking.**

**S: I can’t imagine how hard it is for you.**

**N: I will survive.**

The elevator doors opened and they all left to go to Steve's car.

**S: The belt, Natasha.**

**N: No.**

**S: I'm not leaving here without you putting on your belt.**

Natasha snorted and put on her seatbelt, which bothered her even more because of her belly.

**S: Well, I was going to leave to move the house after the babies were born, but I think you'll be more comfortable in a house than in an apartment.**

**N: Do not worry.**

**S: I worry because is not always that the elevator of my building works and you can’t climb the stairs. Anf the new house is fully furnished, it’s everything ready for us to move in.**

**N: If you say...**

Steve drove to the new house and when they arrived there, Natasha was shocked by the huge living room, her whole apartment could fit in there.

James and Sarah came in and started running around.

**J: You have to see my room, mom!**

**Sarah: No, mine first!**

**J: My!**

**Sarah: Miiiiine!**

**J: My, my, my, my.**

**Sarah: My, my, my.**

**S: Guys! Guys, please.**

**N: I'll see everything. I hope I can see everything today.**

Natasha looked around, still amazed at the size of the house.

**N: That's too big, do not you think?**

**S: I don’t think so. James and Sarah have a lot of energy, they can play a lot in this house, they can bring their friends and the twins are going to need space too.**

**J: We have a pool!!!!**

James tried to move into the backyard, but the door was locked.

**S: The pool, it’s only when have an adult around.**

**Sarah: We can have a puppy!**

**S: Kitty is enough.**

**Sarah: He'll love it here.**

Steve turned his attention to Natasha, who was looking out the backyard through the glass door.

**J: Let's show her the house, Dad.**

**S: Come on, Nat, otherwise they will not be quiet.**

Steve guided Natasha into the kitchen, that is connected to the dining room and the living room.

**N: Huge too.**

**S: I like to cook, so...**

Natasha gave a small smile and Steve smiled back. Steve crossed all the room and got into a wide hallway. Natasha followed him, and so did the kids.

At the first door, there was a social bathroom, and on the opposite wall, there was another door, and inside was a small studio.

**Sarah: It's mine and Dad's to draw.**

**N: That's too much, Steve.**

**S: It’s not. Come here.**

Steve opened the next door and it was James' room, James showed the whole room decorated with new furniture. A little farther down the hall, there was another room, Sarah's. Everything was just like her.

**N: Did you decorate this house by yourself?**

**S: No, I swear. I called a designer just for the children's rooms. When I arrived here, I saw that this house was ideal for us… I mean for me and the kids.**

Natasha looked at Steve and nodded.

At the end of the corridor, there is an access staircase to the second floor. Natasha and Steve went up alone, because the kids were distracted by other activities.

Steve opened the first door to the hall.

**N: This is your bedroom, I bet. It suits you.**

**S: Really?**

**N: Yeah, there's nothing too much or extravagant about it. It's totally you.**

_And totally me_. Natasha thought, but she thought it was better not to comment about it.

**S: The bathroom in this suite is even bigger, there’s a bathtub in there.**

Steve opened the bedroom door further down the hall.

**S: And this belongs to the twins.**

Steve gestured for Natasha to come in, and when she entered the bedroom, she wasn’t expecting anything, but upon seeing the room, she was impressed. She has seen several rooms of babies before, but that one was for her own babies, so there's no way she coulnd’t feel anything, she got emotional, but disguised well.

The whole room is decorated in yellow and the furniture is all white.

Natasha came in and watched every detail, the wallpapers, the chandelier that projects images of animals when it's dark, the cabinets, the cribs.

Natasha walked to the first crib, all white and there were pink laces on the bedding, Natasha smiled unintentionally and Steve didn’t take his eyes off her in any moment, he was also touched with her good reaction.

**N: Clint made these cribs…**

**S: How do you know?**

**N: I know his work.**

Natasha looked at Steve, still not noticing that she was smiling. She approached the other crib, identical to the first, but with blue little bows.

**N: That's his.**

Natasha slid her hand down the crib and looked at Steve.

**N: I want him to be named Nicholas…**

**S: Fury ...**

**N: Yeah...**

Natasha sighed.

**N: If you don’t mind.**

Steve didn’t seem very pleased with the choice, but he chose the names of their first children, so it was fair to let Natasha choose the name of the twins.

**S: What about the baby girl?**

**N: You said Lindsay.**

**S: Or Charlotte.**

**N: I think I like... I don’t know.**

Natasha laughed.

**S: We can decide that later.**

Natasha nodded and sighed again.

**N: This is incredible. This room…**

Natasha sighed and looked around on more time.

**N: The rocking chair… It even almost made me want to breastfeed.**

Natasha smiled.

**N: Almost!**

Steve laughed, this Natasha happy to see the babies's stuff and making jokes about it, this is exactly the Natasha he married. A happy Natasha who loves her children.

Steve smiled a little and he already feel like he was lowering his walls for Natasha again, so he just walked out of the room. Natasha frowned, noticing the change in his mood.

Steve went downstairs.

**N: Steve?**

**S: I just... I have to get some clothes for you and for the children. Please try to rest. You get the bigger room.**

Steve said, Natasha looked at him from the top of the stairs and nodded.

**S: James, Sarah. Let's go.**

**N: No...**

Steve looked at Natasha.

**N: Leave them here.**

**S: They will bother you.**

**N: They won’t.**

**S: Okay.**

Sarah and James walked into the living room.

**S: I'll be back soon, remember what we talked about, don’t fight, don’t give any work to your mother and behave.**

Sarah and James nodded.

**S: I'll bring Kitty for you, Sarah.**

**Sarah: Yes!!!**

Steve left the house as fast as possible and it was not because of the rush to get their clothes, it was the rush to get away from Natasha and the love he feels and will always feel for her.


	54. New Neighborhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some happy stuff, but also sad coming.

**James: Poop face!**

**Sarah: You poop face.**

**J: You.**

**Sarah: You. You’re horrible.**

**J: You’re horrible!**

**Sarah: No, you horribleee!!!**

**N: Hey! Hey! You two… how about you stop fighting and come here for a moment?**

Sarah and James ran up the stairs, while pushing each other. Natasha walked to the bedroom and the children followed her.

**N: There is a way for you to stop fighting so much.**

Natasha took a sheet from the cupboard.

**N: So… you can stop fighting one another or I'll tie you two together that you'll never be able to get free again.**

Sarah frowned.

**Sarah: What if I had to pee?**

**N: You're going to have to go with him.**

**J: Ewww, and how would we sit in the toilet?**

**N: I don’t know, you will figure it out.**

Natasha approached with the sheet.

**N: What do you prefer?**

Sarah and James looked down and muttered the answer.

**N: What?? I did not hear!**

**J: We will not fight anymore.**

**N: Great!**

Natasha yawned and her back complained of standing for so long.

**N: I need to lie down for a bit. Can I trust you to behave?**

Sarah and James nodded. Natasha wasn’t very confident, but she needed a lot of rest.

**N: Don’t you two want to lie down a bit too? You can lie here with me.**

**Sarah: Okay.**

Natasha lifted the blanket and lay down, James lay by one side and Sarah by the other, cuddling with their mom. The three of them fell asleep quickly and easy, but it didn’t last much.

Sarah and James slept for only 20 minutes because they heard the bell ring. They sat on the bed and looked at each other, then at Natasha.

**J: Mom?**

**Sarah: Let's see who it is.**

Sarah whispered and James nodded, he got up and walked down the stairs, along with Sarah.

James does not have enough height to see who it was, so he went to the window to check and saw that it was a kid.

**J: It's a child.**

**Sarah: Really?**

**J: I think he wants to play.**

**Sarah: We can’t open the door.**

**J: But he's a child.**

**Sarah: He’s a stranger.**

**J: Strangers only hurt us if they are adults.**

**Sarah: Oh yeah?**

**J: Yeah!**

James opened the door.

**\- Hi!**

**J: Hi.**

**\- I saw you moved here, do you want to play?**

**Sarah: We can’t!**

**J: Shut up, Sarah!**

James stared at Sarah with a frown, then looked to the boy.

**J: Our dad is not at home, we can’t go out.**

**\- Oh... but can I come in then?**

**Sarah: No!**

**J: Sarah!**

James frowned again then smiled.

**J: I’m sorry. Yes, you can.**

**\- I'm just going to tell my dad.**

**J: Okay.**

The boy ran to his house and returned in less than five minutes.

**\- My dad allowed it because it's Captain America's house.**

James smiled.

**\- My name is Mike.**

**J: James. Come in…**

The kid came into the house and James closed the door.

Sarah stared at him.

**Sarah: Let's play what?**

The boy was even older than James, he looked at Sarah and frowned.

**\- Is she going to play with us?**

**Sarah: Yeah!**

**J: No!**

**Sarah: I will.**

**J: No, you will not!**

**Sarah: Yes, I will!!!**

**J: No, we don’t want to play with you. You little.**

Sarah lowered her head and threatened to cry.

**Sarah: I'll tell my mommy...**

Sarah ran up the stairs and opened the door to Natasha's bedroom already crying.

**Sarah: Mamaaaaa...**

Sarah climbed on the bed, sobbing and shook Natasha to wake her, but Natasha was in a very heavy sleep, she took a while to wake up.

**N: Wh-what ? Sarah?**

Sarah: James doesn’t want to let me pla with him!

Natasha sighed, and she didn’t even open her eyes.

**Sarah: Mama! Jamie...**

Sarah was still crying.

**N: Sh... hush, hush…**

Natasha pulled Sarah by the arm and made her lie down beside her. Natasha was still sleepy and stroked Sarah's back until she calmed down and fell asleep again.

About one hour later, Steve parked the car in front of the house. James knows the sound of his father's car.

**J: It's my father!!!**

****

**Mike: Captain America? How cool!**

**J: He's going to kill me, we have to clean it up.**

**Mike: There's no time for that. Don’t be silly.**

**J: Oh no, he's going to be so angry with me. I'm going to get in trouble!**

**Mike: Well, I have to go now.**

**J: You said you were going to help me clean up.**

**Mike: Yeah, but I have to go home now, bye.**

Mike left the house and Steve didn’t even see the boy leaving, because he was distracted taking a lot of baggages out of the car, the female neighbors came to their porchs and simply stopped to watch Steve carrying those baggages, and they sighed when he lifted the baggages up to his shoulder, and his defined abdomen got a bit exposed.

Steve knew he was being watched, but he thought it was only curiosity because he is new in the neighborhood or because he is the captain america, he even looked at two neighbors who were together on the sidewalk and smiled at them to compliment them. They smiled and waved back.

Steve put some baggages on the porch floor so he could open the door to his house and as soon as he came in and placed the baggages into the living room, he closed the door and noticed that the house was too quiet.

Steve looked around and went into the kitchen and he was shocked because the kitchen was destroyed, everything was dirty, he didn’t even know what to think about what had happened there.

**S: James?? Sarah??**

Steve got worried now and started to scream for them.

**S: Nat??? JAMES! SARAH!**

…

Natasha woke up with Steve calling James and Sarah, she frowned and left Sarah on the bed, who was still sleeping.

Natasha walked slowly down the stairs, she placed her hand on her belly and then approached Steve in the kitchen and she was still yawning.

**N: Steve?**

Steve looked at Natasha.

**S: Are you okay??**

**N: Yeah, why you were screaming?**

Natasha noticed the kitchen and she was shocked.

**S: What happened here?**

**N: I... I don’t know.**

**S: You don’t know??**

James peeked over Steve and Natasha from behind the counter and he was feeling bad for seeing their parents initiating a fight.

**N: I was sleeping upstairs and they were with me.**

James stepped out from behind the counter, completely dirty with food.

**J: Dad?**

Steve put his hand on his waist and looked at James. Natasha rubbed her face, trying to wake up and understand what had happened.

**S: Can you explain this, James?**

**J: Dad, it was my friend Mike.**

**S: Mike? What Mike?**

**J: He came to play here and said he was going to help m to clean everything after, but he left.**

**S: Hey, hey, hey! Slow down… He was in here?? A stranger came here??**

**J: He was not a stranger, he was a child.**

**S: James, I don’t know him, so he's a stranger. Did your mother know about that?**

**J: No, she was asleep.**

**N: I thought you were in bed with me.**

**S: Didn’t you hear anything?**

**N: No, I swear...**

**J: It's not her fault, Dad. I...**

**S: I'm not blaming her, James. I'm blaming you, I taught you so many times, no strangers at home. You disappointed me today.**

**J: But dad...**

**S: It could be some trap. You put your sister and mother at risk. Never bring anyone here again without us knowing and authorizing.**

**N: What were you doing here anyway?**

**J: He said he knew how to make ice cream of everything and I helped him.**

**S: Look at all the dirt I'll have to clean! I'm very disappointed, James.**

**N: You will not clean it, Steve. James, you're going to clean up. I want this kitchen shining like new. Did Sarah know about that?**

**J: No.**

**N: Good. Start cleaning!**

Steve didn’t take away Natasha's authority, but the kitchen was too filthy for James to clean on his own. Steve felt pity because James spent the whole afternoon cleaning and complaining that he was tired and he never had to clean anything in his life before.

Natasha sat at the kitchen door, reading one of the books Steve brought her.

**J: I'm tired.**

****

**N: That’s your problem, not mine.**

**J: Dad??**

**N: Your father will not get you out of this, it's no use calling him.**

**J: But I'm hungry!**

**N: Well, me too! Finish cleaning the kitchen, otherwise we won’t have food today.**

James grunted and went back to clean the kitchen, when he finished he went into the living room.

**J: I finished.**

**S: Good, now take a shower and pack your things in your room, your bag is already there.**

**J: Aren’t you going to do it for me?**

**S: No.**

**J: You'll do it for Sarah!**

**S: No, she'll do it herself when she wakes up.**

Natasha watched Steve taking a little more attitude in educating their children and gave a small smile. She got up to go to the kitchen, Steve noticed and followed her.

**S: What are you doing?**

Natasha was staring at the fridge, but it was empty, just like the cabinets.

**N: Looking for something to eat.**

**S: Damn, I didn’t buy anything. I'm going to the market, right now.**

**N: Steve, calm down…**

Natasha frowned.

**N: It’s okay, we can order food.**

**S: But you're hungry now, if they delay...**

**N: I will have to wait. I won’t die for it. Don’t worry.**

Steve is already naturally careful with Natasha, and being pregnant with two babies, he is more than careful with her.

**N: What do you want to eat?**

Natasha took her cellphone in her pants pocket and approached Steve, she placed her hand on the counter and Steve was instantly embarrassed by the proximity between them. Steve avoided eye contact.

**S: Whatever you want it’s fine for me.**

Steve turned to leave the kitchen, but Natasha stepped forward and stepped in front of him, she put her hand on his chest and looked at him.

Steve only looked directly into Natasha's eyes for two seconds, then he looked away. Natasha frowned and she was trying to understand his behavior.

**N: Steve?**

**S: What?**

**N: What's going on?**

**S: Nothing…**

Steve was avoiding eye contact again.

**N: Steve? C’mon, look at me.**

**S: Why?**

**N: Because I'm talking to you.**

Steve looked at Natasha.

**N: Why… why are you so different with me?**

**S: What do you mean?**

**N: You're… you’ve been distant…**

**S: Is not that what you wanted?**

**N: Are you punishing me?**

**S: No. I just don’t want any more.**

**N: You don’t want what?**

Steve opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t say anything, he looked away again.

**N: Speak, Rogers. Are you talking about me?**

**S: Natasha, we don’t have to do this. We are fie, ok? We will have these babies, you will move on with your life and I will with my life.**

**N: Is that what you want?**

**S: Do I have a choice?**

**N: Yes!**

Steve looked at Natasha, trying to figure out if she's meaning to want to stay with him or if he's misunderstanding her, he's already so pessimistic that he'd rather thinks that he's misunderstood.

**S: Natasha.**

**N: I want this!**

Natasha said firmly.

Steve shook his head and tried to walk out of the kitchen again but Natasha pushed him back and made him look at her.

**N: I want us.**

**S: You want us?**

**N: Yes.**

**S: Why???** **Why now?**

**N: Because...**

**S: You said you didn’t love me, you accepted the divorce and left me!**

Steve interrupted Natasha.

**N: Because I did not love you! I did not know you!**

Steve took a deep breath and became static, still hurts to hear that phrase and he even noticed that the verb to not love him anymore is in the past.

**S: That's what I mean. We tried, you tried and it didn’t work. It's okay, Natasha, I overcame the fact that you dn’t love me anymore. I don’t hate you, I’m not angry, I just...**

Steve sighed.

**S: I think it's better for everyone if we avoid seeing each other...**

**N: Shut up, Steve!**

Natasha screamed and slap the counter.

**S: Wow, that's rude, I'm being nice to you.**

Natasha stepped away from Steve and she was a little red and also shaking. Natasha took three deep breaths and ran her hand through her hair. Natasha was on her back and Steve was watching her, still trying to figure out what was going on.

**S: Natasha?**

**N: Steve, please don’t say anything.**

Steve became silent.

**N: I didn’t love you, it’s true. I couldn’t be with you. It wasn’t fair to you, I never meant to hurt you. I was trying to protect you from me.**

**S: I understand, really. I didn’t want to force you to stay with me, I never wanted to force anything with you.**

**N: I know that.**

**S: But like I said, now it's okay.**

**N: You can’t keep your damn mouth shut for a minute, can you? I'm trying to tell you, Steve...**

**S: Tell me what?**

Natasha put her hand to her mouth, as if she could hold the words she wanted to say, she shook her head, then turned and looked at Steve.

**N: I didn’t love you because I didn’t know you.** **And now I...** **I realize that I... I lo...**

****

Natasha didn’t finish the sentence, because she felt a strong pain in her belly, she placed her hand in the belly and leaned on the counter with the other hand. Steve hold her instantly.

**S: Nat?? What are you feeling?**

**N: I... Steve.**

**S: Sh... be quiet, dn’t say anything.**

**N: But I have to say it, you need...**

**S: Nat, please, stay quiet.**

**N: No… you need to know that I…**

**S: Natasha, it's okay, I'm going to take you to the hospital now.**

Natasha was breathing slowly, she couldn’t reason anymore to say anything now, the pain was terrible. Steve took her in his lap.

Steve shouted, calling the children, the two came right away. Steve asked James to get the keys, Natasha ended up losing consciousness.

When Natasha woke up, she was back on the same bed and hospital room. When she made her first move, Steve stood up with Sarah in his arms and approached her bed.

**N: What happened?**

Sarah: Are you okay, Mommy?

**N: Yes, sweetie.**

**S: I'm sorry, Natasha.**

Natasha frowned, not understanding why he is sorry for.

Dr. Cho entered the room.

**Cho: Look who's back already.**

**N: Not for long, I hope.**

**Cho: No, you're free to go.**

**N: I fainted?**

Cho nodded.

**Cho: I need to reinforce with you that any kind of stress will affect you, Natasha. Stay calm and away from annoyances, or you'll have to spend the rest of the gestation here with us. I have to go now, please call me if you have problem again.**

**S: Thank you, Cho. It won’t happen again.**

Cho left the room and Steve looked at Natasha guiltily.

**N: Why were you apologizing?**

**S: I shouldn’t have argued with you.**

**N: It's not your fault. I was more nervous than I should have been.**

Steve sighed.

**S: Shall we go home?**

Natasha nodded and Steve put Sarah on the floor to help Natasha to stand up.

**N: You don’t have to carry me.**

**S: I'll get a chair.**

**N: Steve, I'm fine. I can walk.**

**S: Please.**

Natasha would argue, but Steve begged her with the look he gave her. She nodded and agreed to be carried through the wheelchair to the car.

When they got home, Steve insisted on taking Natasha on his arms to the bedroom bed and she accepted.

After placing Natasha on the bed, Steve covered her and stood by the bed watching her.

**N: I'm not sleepy.**

**S: But remain lie down, please.**

**N: Do I have a choice?**

**S: No.**

**N: Can I ask you something?**

**S: Of course.**

**N: Can you sleep here with me?**

Steve breathed slowly. His mind screamed it was a bad idea.

With Steve's silence, Natasha tried to persuade him once more.

**N: Just sleep... I can’t do anything with it.**

Natasha put her hands on her belly.

**S: Okay. I need to order some food, did you eat in the hospital, but are you still hungry?**

**N: Yes.**

**S: Okay.**

Steve walked out of the room, when he reached the door, he remembered the conversation they were having. Steve turned to look at Natasha.

**S: What were you going to tell me earlier today?**

Natasha looked at Steve and shook her head.

**N: I don’t remember.**

Steve nodded and left the room. Steve went down the stairs and noticed James and Sarah, kneeling on the couch, watching the children play in the street, in front of the house, through the window.

**J: Dad?**

Steve looked at James.

**J: Can we play outside?**

**S: James, I don’t think so. I don’t know anybody here.**

**Sarah: But there are a lot of kids there!**

Steve looked at the children playing on the sidewalk, he is very afraid when it comes to his children, his enemies and even his fans can put his kids at risk and he has learned that he can’t trust almost anyone, but… Steve also knows that kids need to play, and James and Sarah are kids and they need friends.

Steve approached them on the couch.

**S: I will allow it.**

**J: WWWEEEEEE.**

**Sarah: YAY!**

The two have already begun to jump, excitedly.

**S: But... What did we talk about?**

**J: To not go to anyone's house.**

**Sarah: Not talk to strangers.**

****

**J: Don’t accept anyone's candy.**

**S: And?**

**Sarah: Not fight!**

**J: And don’t eat plants!**

**S: Yes. But James, there's something else you must remember as well.**

James frowned.

**J: Take care of Sarah…**

**S: Yes. You are a big boy already and she's young.**

**Sarah: I'm big too, daddy, I know I can’t go on the street.**

**S: Yes, your limit is the sidewalk.**

**J: See? She knows this!**

**S: I know, but she forgets and she can be distracted. I'm trusting you to take care of her. Are you capable of that?**

James nodded and saluted. Steve smiled and saluted him too.

**S: Now go ahead.**

They remained still, staring at Steve, not believing he will really allow it.

**S: Go! Go!**

Steve smiled.

**J: Yes!**

They both ran toward the door.

**S: Hey!**

They both stopped and looked at Steve again.

**S: I love you.**

**J: Ufff!**

Sarah smiled broadly.

**Sarah: I love you too, Daddy!**

The two of them went out and went straight to make friends with the children. Steve was watching them from inside the house and he ordered food by the phone, then he came up to check on Natasha.

When Steve entered the room, he saw Natasha standing in front of the window, stroking her belly and looking at the children playing in the garden ans she looked so in peace.

Steve avoided making any kind of noise, he wanted to memorize every detail of that scene. She looks beautiful, even pregnant. Her body against the light, would give the perfect photo, but he is not that good with cameras, but he is great with drawings and painting.

**S: I should paint you now.**

Natasha was not startled to hear Steve's voice, she knew Steve was standing in the doorway of the room watching her. Natasha stopped looking at the children, to look at Steve, she gave a small smile.

**N: Why don’t you paint me, then?**

**S: You can’t stay still for so long, not with two babies in there, but you look beautiful.**

**N: It sucks... I can’t do anything.**

Natasha smiled and looked at her belly.

**S: I imagine it's hard for you. A few more months and they will be out.**

Natasha smiled again and turned her attention to James and Sarah playing on the garden with other kids.

**N: They're so happy. Look at them.**

Steve walked to the window, stopped in front of Natasha and looked at the children. Sarah and James were super happy to be playing outside. Moving from the apartment for a house was the best decision.

**N: Sometimes I think I'm living a dream.**

Steve looked at Natasha, who kept her eyes fixed on the children.

**N: It's so weird having kids. I think that when I was about 6, I still thought about having a house, a husband and a son, but life happened so fast for me, I didn’t have any control about it.**

**S: I know.**

Natasha smiled and looked at Steve again, she forgets he knows her to the point of knowing things she would never tell anyone. This makes Natasha sure that she loved him enough to trust him completely.

**S: I'm sorry for what happened to you.**

Natasha sighed and nodded, she looked back at the children and touched the window glass.

**N: At least I have this now...**

Natasha touched her belly.

**N: And this.**

****

Natasha smiled once more.

Steve noticed something different in Natasha, it was as if she was happy and this is so difficult to happen.

**S: You look... You seem to be attached to the babies now.**

**N: I am. That still freaks the fuck out of me.**

**S: Language.**

Steve smiled.

Natasha laughed.

**N: I think I'm quiet now. If I had these babies alone, they would be in trouble, I'm afraid of the damage their lives would be if they only had me, but when I look at James and Sarah, I just think they're so perfect, I mean they are wonderful children and it's all because of you. I know these babies will be fine, because they have you as their father.**

**S: That's very nice of you to say, but you shouldn’t belittle yourself so much. You've always been a great mother too, they're crazy about you, Natasha. Even after you've lost your memory, it took you a while, but you're back to being their mother, they respect you and admire you, they love you so much. I wish you could see.**

Natasha looked out the window and her eyes were full of tears, one tear ended up escaping and rolled down her face and Steve understands that cry, he knows everything she has been through since she was little, with no place in the world, without anyone belonging to her or her belonging to someone, it was a lonely life.

Steve placed the back of his hand on Natasha’s cheek, to prevent tear from rolling down, then he stroked her face, trying to give her some comfort.

Natasha sighed and looked at Steve.

**N: I just... I never felt alone again after knowing that I am their mother and I was so used to be alone. It’s crazy that I love them that much now.**

Natasha frowned a little.

**S: I know.**

When Steve removed his hand from Natasha's face, she took a step toward him and hugged his waist. Steve knows how dangerous this is, but she is extremely sensitive so he hugged her back. He stroked her back with one hand and with the other, he stroked her hair.

**S: You're feeling what I felt, when you had that accidente and I thought I would die and be alone forever… I survived and I had a reason to go on, beucase I had them.**

Steve instinctively kissed Natasha's forehead and rested his chin on Natasha's forehead, which made her close her eyes and take a deep breath because she was finally feeling Steve's touch after so long.

...

James was playing with that kid Mike again, climbing on his skate behind him and James lost his balance and fell to the ground, but because he fell on the grass, it didn’t hurt him.

James looked at the window of his house for a second and saw his parents hugged, James doesn’t remember smiling as much in his life as he is now.

**\- SARAAAAH!**

James moved his attention from his parents to the adults who were coming running in his direction, he wasn’t understanding what was going on.

James saw the adults running by his side and he understood that it was nothing related to him but for someone else, James turned to look at what Sarah had done for everyone to be screaming her name and running so nervous.

As James looked to his sister, he understood what it was about, he had to scream her name too.

Sarah was playing with a ball with the girls, but the ball scaped from theirs hand and ended up on the middle of the street, and she was so close to the street that her first reaction was to get the ball, so she ran toward the street… the only problem was that a car was passing there at the same time.

...

Natasha and Steve also looked at the window when they listened everybody screaming Sarah’s name and a sound of a horn being pressed nonstop and the sound of a car trying to break fast...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never said Sarah was safe and you know they will have a big lost to be together...


	55. Truths - Part 4

While Natasha stood still from the shock, Steve ran as fast as he could to the street, when he opened the front door, one of the neighbors was picking Sarah up.

**\- Are you alright?**

Sarah nodded, she was crying and scared because everyone came toward her, screaming her name. Sarah didn’t run into the street, she stopped at the curb of the sidewalk because she remembered that she couldn’t go further than that.

Steve approached them and the neighbor who was with Sarah in his lap, tried to calm Steve, who was very desperate.

**\- Ease, ease... It was nothing.**

Steve took Sarah in his lap and put his hand on her face, checking her.

**S: Are you okay?**

Sarah could only cry.

**J: Dad?**

Steve looked at James.

**J: I didn’t see her.**

**S: I know. That is the problem, James.**

Steve walked into the house with Sarah, he stopped at the door and looked at James. Steve indicated for James to come in moving his head in he direction of the door.

James walked slowly, he was afraid that Steve would fight with him because of Sarah.

James came in the house and closed the door.

Natasha was finishing down the stairs, she approached Steve and stroked Sarah's back.

**N: Are you okay? Do you want to stay with me?**

Sarah wiped her face and nodded, and she moved to Natasha's lap.

**S: She's too heavy for you, Nat.**

**N: It doesn’t matter.**

Natasha walked to the couch and sat with Sarah.

**J: Dad...**

Steve looked at James, he took a deep breath, then looked to the side, he was too serious.

**S: Go to your room.**

**J: But, dad...**

**S: Now, James.**

James looked at Steve and then at Sarah, he lowered his head and went into his bedroom.

Steve sat next to Natasha and stroked Sarah's face.

**Sarah: I stopped, Daddy.**

**S: I know, baby, I saw it.**

**N: But you scared us.**

**S: You can’t run that way to the street.**

**Sarah: I didn’t want to scare anyone. I stopped because you said to not not go on the street.**

**S: You did it right, princess.**

The bell rang.

Steve kissed Sarah's forehead and got up, he answered the door and it was the food that Steve ordered before.

Steve paid and then he served dinner at the dinner table.

Natasha looked at Sarah.

**N: Are you hungry?**

Sarah shook her head.

**S: But you must eat something. Come on.**

Sarah came down from Natasha's lap and sat down at the table.

Natasha felt a slight crack in her belly, which was different from what she is used to feel, but since it didn’t hurt much, she didn’t say anything to Steve, she got up and went to the table. Steve sat down to eat too.

Natasha stared Steve, because he didn’t call James.

**N: Steve, you have to call James to eat.**

**S: James!**

James opened his door and looked at Steve from there, he was feeling very remorseful and he couldn’t look at his parents’ eyes or even at Sarah’s directly, because that makes him feel weird.

James came to the living room and approached the table.

Steve took a plate and served food for James.

**J: I don’t want to eat.**

**S: I did not ask if you want to. Grab your plate and eat it!**

Sarah looked at Steve and it was the first time she felt afraid of him, he was much more aggressive than the usual. James was also scared and he didn’t want to disobey, so he approached the chair to sit.

**S: No. You’re not eating with us.**

Natasha looked at Steve and frowned.

**S: You will eat in the kitchen. Here, take your plate. I don’t want to see you.**

Steve handed James's plate.

**N: Steve...**

Steve looked at Natasha who was making negative with her head.

James remained close to the table, holding his plate, unsure of what to do.

**S: GO! NOW!**

Steve screamed and James’ legs trembled, even Sarah trembled too. James walked slowly into the kitchen.

**Sarah: I'm going to eat with Jamie.**

Sarah didn’t understand what was happening.

**S: No! He's going to be left alone to think about what he's done.**

**Sarah: But Daddy...**

**N: Sarah, eat.**

**Sarah: But Jamie alone…**

Sarah was feeling sad for her brother, so she started to sob.

**N: He’s alright, he’s eating too, come on, I’ll help you.**

Natasha gave food for Sarah and then handed her the spoon, so she could eat alone.

Natasha got up and again she felt a crack on her belly, but again, she said nothing and didn’t demonstrate anything, so no one noticed.

**N: Aren’t you going to eat?**

Natasha stared Steve.

**S: I lost my appetite.**

Natasha sighed to see Steve such in a bad mood, she went to the kitchen and James was sitting at the table, messing the food with his fork, but eating nothing.

Natasha approached him and stroked his hair, she sat down beside him.

**N: You have to eat, James.**

**J: I couldn’t move, mom. I was so scared, but I tried to go to her, but I couldn’t. It was like my feet was glued to the ground!**

**N: I know, honey, I know...** **We're not blaming you.**

**J: My father is.**

**N: He's just... nervous, because he's had a really big fright, he would die if anything happened to your sister or to you. He doesn’t want her to get hurt and you, too, right?**

James nodded.

**J: I didn’t want her to get hurt.**

**N: I know that, baby and she did not get hurt. Nothing happened, it was just a scare.**

Natasha ran her hand over James's face to wipe away his tears.

**N: Don’t cry, okay? Just eat, so your father won’t fight with you again.**

James had to force himself to eat. Natasha got up and went back to the dining room, she finished the meal and watched Steve get up and go to the kitchen.

**N: Steve? Steve?**

Steve ignored her and walked to the kitchen, he stared at James.

**S: Are you done?**

James nodded.

**S: Go back to your room then.**

**J: Can I watch some TV?**

**S: Of course not!**

Sarah and James shivered at the way Steve responded, Natasha watched Sarah's reaction.

**S: Go to your room!**

James was so nervous that he couldn’t move.

**S: Won’t you obey me, James?**

Natasha had to intervene, she put her hand on Steve's chest and made him look at her.

**N: Steve, calm down!!!! What are you doing?**

**S: Do you want me to calm down after what he did?**

**N: He didn’t do anything!**

**S: What???**

**J: Don’t fight, please.**

**N: It's okay, James, go to your room.**

James only had the courage to get up because Natasha was between him and his father. James never got any beating in his life, but he was afraid Steve might beat him this time, he seems so aggresive.

**N: Go, James, it’s alright.**

James ran to the bedroom.

**N: You're scaring them, Steve.**

**S: Am I?**

Steve laughed, but sarcastically.

**N: Yes, you are! Look at Sarah.**

Steve avoided eye contact with Natasha and also with Sarah.

**N: Look, Steve.**

Steve looked at Sarah and she really was frightened. Steve shook his head and put his hand on his forehead, he was about to fall apart.

**N: Sarah, go stay with your brother now.**

**Sarah: Mommy…**

**N: Please, Sarah, go.**

Sarah got up and ran to James's room.

Natasha grabbed Steve hand and led him to the couch and made him sit down. When Steve sat down he immediately started to cry. Natasha ran her hand over his back.

**N: It's okay... It’s okay.**

**S: I lost my mind…**

**N: I know. Don’t worry, he's fine. They are fine.**

**S: There's so much going on...**

**N: I know…**

**S: All theses months… So much stuff… I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I can’t even look at them now. It's not their fault.**

**N: You don’t have to do anything, okay? Why don’t you go up and lie down for a bit? I'll take care of everything. Don’t worry.**

Natasha put her hands on Steve's ears and spread many kisses all over his face until Steve's breathing returned to normal rhythm. As soon as he calmed down, Natasha got up and held his hand.

**N: Come with me.**

Steve followed Natasha to the bedroom, Natasha straightened the bedding and Steve lay down, practically throwing himself on the bed, Natasha covered him and sat on the edge of the bed looking at him. Steve looked at her, too. For the first time in a while she was taking care of him, and he is the one who is always taking care of her and the kids.

**S: It should be the other way around.**

**N: No... You need to be taken care of too.**

**S: Thank you.**

**N: You don’t have to thank me. Now... Rest.**

**S: But are you okay? You ended up going through all this stress.**

**N: I'm fine, stop worrying a little, okay? Sleep.**

**S: I should talk to them.**

**N: I will talk to them. Do you still trust me a bit to do it?**

Steve smiled.

**S: Yes.**

**N: Great, so it’s handled.**

Steve sighed and continued to look at Natasha and Natasha felt a her heart freeze for a moment, because she wants to do something and she doesn’t know how he will react, but now seems to be ther perfect time for that, so she leaned over his body and placed her lips on his. Steve was paralyzed, he didn’t reciprocate and also didn’t reject the kiss, he was a little surprised.

Natasha moved away slowly and looked into his eyes, she didn’t say anything, she just got up and left the room.

Steve took long nap and he needed that.

...

**Sarah: Are you mad at me, Jamie?**

James shook his head, but didn’t look at Sarah or say anything.

**Sarah: Are you sad?**

James nodded.

Sarah sighed and sat down next to James on the floor of the room.

**Sarah: Well, I'll talk to the tooth fairy, okay?**

James looked at Sarah, not understanding.

**Sarah: I'm going to say to her that Daddy behaved badly with you and she won’t give him any money when his tooth falls.**

**J: His tooth doesn’t fall any more, Sarah.**

**Sarah: Oh…**

Sarah seemed disappointed.

**Sarah: Oh, I know! So, I'm going to talk to Santa and the Easter bunny and I'm going to talk to Cosmo and Wanda!**

****

**J: Who are those??**

**Sarah: His fairly oddParents!**

James looked at Sarah and the seriousness on her face made him laugh, Sarah laughed back. He finds her stupid for still believing in these fanciful beings, but what he doesn’t know is that Sarah no longer believes, but she knew that he would find her silly and laugh and she just wanted to make him smile.

**J: I'm sorry for not letting you play with me and Mike.**

**Sarah: Okay. Can I play next time?**

**J: No.**

**Sarah: Why not?**

**J: Because you're a girl. And they'll laugh at me if I let you play.**

****

Sarah sighed and was silent, thoughtful.

**Sarah: Okay.**

**J: But I'll play with you when we're alone here.**

**Sarah: We can play now!**

**J: Of what?**

**Sarah: With your toys!**

Sarah gave a big smile to convince James, since he forbids her from playing with his toys and Sarah is crazy to play with his action figures.

**J: No.**

**Sarah: Jamie!**

Natasha knocked on the door and opened it, they both looked at their mother.

**N: Hey guys… what are you doing?**

**Sarah: Jamie does not want to let me play with his dolls.**

**J: They’re not dolls and she will break it.**

**N: She'll be careful, right Sarah?**

Sarah nodded.

**N: You should be a good boy, James.**

**J: Am I bad?**

**N: Sometimes you act like a bad boy, but most of the time you're good.**

Natasha came in and sat on the bed, looking at the two of them on the floor.

**N: You know, sooner, your father was nervous for fear of Sarah getting hurt, it was nothing with you.**

James lowered his head.

**N: He'll apologize to you when he wakes up.**

**J: He's never going to let us go outside and play again.**

**N: Of course he will. It wasn’t your fault, you're very young. You might go when me or him could be outside to watch over you.**

**J: I miss Cindy.**

**N: Don’t you like Laura?**

**J: I do, but I miss Cindy.**

**Sarah: Me too, mommy and I want to see Grandma. She gives us cookies after lunch and she tells us stories.**

**N: Really?**

**Sarah: Yeah.**

**N: I'll talk to Steve to get you there.**

**Sarah: Really?**

Natasha nodded.

**N: Well, let's play?**

**J: Are you going to play with us???**

**N: I will if you allow it…**

**J: Yes!**

Sarah and James smiled, James picked up the big box and scattered the toys all on the floor, Sarah took one.

**J: Not that one.**

James took the toy from Sarah’s and she looked at another toy and took it.

**J: No, not that one either.**

James took the toy from her hand again. Sarah sighed and scratched her head.

**N: Hey, James, what can she play with?**

**J: With Dad. Here.**

James picked up the Captain America toy and handed it to Sarah, who opened her mouth in surprise and excitement.

**Sarah: It's Daddy!!!**

Natasha looked at the toy and smiled, then she frowned a bit.

**N: Your dad gave it to you?**

**J: No, it was Uncle Clint.**

**N: Thank God.**

**J: I have you too.**

**N: Me???**

Natasha frowned even more.

James picked up a little doll dressed in the Black Widow's outfit, Natasha picked it up and studied the doll.

**N: Jesus, is this me? It's too ugly to be me.**

Sarah and James began to laugh.

**Sarah: That's what Maria said.**

**N: She bought this for you?**

**J: Yes.**

**N: That son of a b…**

Sarah put her hand to her mouth.

**Sarah: I'll tell Daddy!**

****

Sarah looked at Natasha.

**Sarah: **No, I won’t tell him that you said a curse, mommy.****

**N: Thank you.**

Sarah took the doll from Natasha's hand and joined it with Captain America's, she made the dolls kiss. Natasha watched and started to laugh, James was annoyed and took from Sarah.

**J: That's not Barbie and Ken!**

**N: Do you have more?**

**J: Yes.**

James put the Avengers' toys on the bed, Natasha died laughing with Fury and Iron Man. All of those were horrible except for one of them, Natasha frowned and took Maria Hill's doll, it was practically the replica of her.

**N: Why is this so different?**

James shrugged.

**J: I had another one of her, but Maria said she would borrow it and then she said that she lost it and bought another one to replace, so she gave me that one.**

**Sarah: She's so beautiful!!!**

_She’s such a fucking bitch!!_ Natasha frowned and cursed Hill a lot in thought.

**N: I think you should do her make up, Sarah.** **Here.**

**J: No!!!! It's not a Barbie!**

**N: I'll buy another one for you, James.**

Sarah took the doll and took crayons to "make up" Hill.

**N: Wow nice, don’t forget the eyes, Sarah… and do me a favor, next time Hill show up here, you show that for her, okay?**

Natasha spent hours playing with the children and laughing at the crazy conversations they have with each other. Later in the evening, Steve appeared at the door. Sarah and James looked serious at Steve, uncertain if he was still mad or not.

**S: Can I play with you too?**

James smiled and nodded. Steve came in and sat down on the floor with the kids.

**Sarah: Sit here too, Mommy.**

**N: I can’t, I wouldn’t be able to get up later.**

**S: She is saying that because she's fat.**

Sarah and Natasha opened their mouths and widened their eyes in shock. Steve was only joking, of course and started to laugh.

Natasha punched Steve's arm.

**N: Repeat if you dare, Rogers.**

Steve dodged the punches, laughing. Natasha pushed him with her foot and they both laughed and looked at each other again. Sarah got up and sat on Steve's lap.

**Sarah: Look! It's you, Daddy!!**

Sarah showed the Captain America toy to Steve.

**S: Is it me?**

**Sarah: Yes.**

**S: Do you think he's cute like me?**

**N: Who said you're cute?**

Steve looked at Natasha and raised his eyebrows, Steve looked at Sarah and then at James.

**S: Yes, your mother is right. I'm not cute, I'm handsome.**

****

James and Sarah began to laugh.

**N: So convinced!**

**Sarah: He is cute! My dad’s the most handsome in the world.**

**N: Well, well, I’m not surprised, Sarah.**

**J: Yeah, Sarah always says that.**

**Sarah: My teacher also said he is.**

Steve and Natasha were surprised.

**N: Really?**

**Sarah: Yeah. The mommys of my friends, too.**

**S: She must have misunderstood.**

**N: Yeah, right.**

**Sarah: I have an idea!**

**J: What?**

**Sarah: Let's sing!**

**N: No.**

**J: No.**

**S: I think we should.**

**J: Singing is stupid.**

Natasha held out her hand to James and he hi-fived her.

**Sarah: I like to sing.**

**S: Me too.**

**N: Alright, then, let’s play the heads or tails?**

Natasha grabbed a coin and challenged Steve.

**S: Heads.**

Natasha tossed the coin and picked it up. She put it on her hand and the result was Heads, but she has some magic tricks and made the coin disappear between her fingers.

Sarah and James were totally amazed.

**S: Thief!**

**N: I didn’t see anything.**

**J: How did you do that, mom???**

**Sarah: Where is it?**

Sarah got up and pulled Natasha's hand, James also searched where Natasha put the coin.

**J: Is it Mom powerful like Auntie Wanda?**

**N: Maybe…**

**S: Do not lie to them.**

**N: Don’t ruin everything, Rogers.**

Natasha looked serious at Steve, but then began to laugh.

**N: Damn, I have to go to the bathroom again!**

Natasha sighed, held her belly and stood up, but the crack hit her again and this time with more strenght, she couldn’t disguise. Steve raised his eyebrows.

**S: Natasha, are you feeling something?**

**N: No, it's just my back... killing me.**

Natasha didn’t want to worry anyone now. She already fainted and ended up coming back home, so it's probably no big deal again, she went to the bathroom and didn’t notice that her urine was bloody, she just flushed and went straight to wash her hands.

Natasha returned to the kids bedroom but didn’t enter.

**N: I'm going to bed, okay?**

Steve nodded.

**S: Aren’t you going to have dinner with us?**

**N: No, I'm tired.**

**S: Are you sure you're feeling all right?**

**N: Yes. It was just today's scare, I'll be fine.**

**S: Okay.**

Natasha withdrew and went upstairs to the bedroom.

Steve ordered food and he had dinner with the children and put each to sleep, when leaving James's room, he looked at the stairs and sighed. Should he join Natasha or not?

Steve took two steps toward the stairs and stopped. He can’t do that. He walked to the couch and also stopped, he knows what he wants and what he wants is on the second floor of the house.

Steve decided to ignore the promise he made to himself.

…

Natasha woke briefly, feeling Steve's body next to hers, and as he didn’t hug her, she grabbed his hand and lay on her side, making him lie down in the same way and cuddle with her.

Natasha took Steve's hand under her face and used it as a pillow. Steve was sorry and at the same time he was not for letting her in again, he feels like a fool and he can’t help it.

_♫ I've been cheated by you since I don't know when  
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end _

_  
Look at me now, will I ever learn?_

_I don't know how but I suddenly lose control  
There's a fire within my soul _

_Just one look and I can hear a bell ring_

_One more look and I forget everything_  
  


_Mamma mia, here I go again_

_My my, how can I resist you_

_Mamma mia, does it show again_

_My my, just how much I've missed you!_

_Yes, I've been brokenhearted_

_Blue since the day we parted_

_Why, why did I ever let you go_

_Mamma mia, now I really know_

_My my, I could never let you go ♪_

_Abba – Mamma Mia_


	56. The Twins

Neither Steve nor Natasha were wide awake, sleep was present, but the will to touch was as well. During the night, Steve slipped his hand from Natasha's face to her belly, still sniffing her neck. Natasha made a point of leaning her body against Rogers's.

Steve rested his lips on the back of Natasha's neck and she bent her neck and turned her face a little in the direction of Steve, he took advantage of that and kissed right below Natasha's ear and he gave another kiss lower than that one, which made Natasha gradually turn her body for him.

The kisses went on and Natasha was still turning her body, until they reached the point where they were both staring at each other.

Natasha put her hand on Steve's face and lifted her head a bit, reaching Steve's lips with hers. Steve didn’t reject the kiss this time, instead of that, he placed his upper lip between hers and kissed Natasha's lower lip gently then He slowly opened her mouth with his lip.

Steve slipped his tongue into Natasha's mouth and stroked her tongue willingly. Natasha, then, slid her nails lightly over Steve's neck until she reached the back of his neck.

Steve was sinking his tongue more and more inside Natasha’s mouth, trying to feel the full extension of her mouth. She was like a drug, which he is addicted to and has been a time deprived of that pleasure and now that he is having access again, he can’t stop, he needs more, much more of that. Much more of her.

They didn’t notice the time passing, their mouths didn’t stop working, it was when their breathing began to be altered and scarce, which made them finally dissociate their lips, but only for a few seconds, because their mouths attract like magnets and soon they were giving short kisses, until they began to caress each other's tongue again and each time with more intensity.

Steve didn’t notice that he was almost bending over Natasha, she placed a hand on his chest and pushed him lightly, she moved her lips away from his.

**N: Steve…**

Steve opened his eyes, he was even feeling confused.

**N: I… I’m sorry… we can’t do it.**

**S: I know… I know, of course, but it is just so hard.**

Steve was already sticking his lips to hers again.

**N: For me too... believe me.**

Natasha said as she received Steve's kisses. Steve took a deep breath and lay with his belly up, Natasha noticed his condition, he was really horny, she could see on his underwear.

Natasha lay on her side and caressed Steve's belly, fingering the outline of his definite tan. Natasha slid her hand into Steve's shorts.

**N: I can help you with that.**

She whispered to him.

**S: No... it's okay.**

**N: Are you sure?**

Natasha slid her hand down to Rogers's cock and grabbed it firmly, Steve spasmed feeling her touch, then he took her hand.

**S: No, don’t do that.**

**N: You want it.**

**S: I want to, but you can’t have any work right now, because of the babies, Natasha...**

Natasha sighed.

**N: Okay.**

Steve looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath.

**S: I was doing well, you know?**

Natasha looked at him, not understanding.

**S: Without y, I mean… I was fine, I thought I wouldn’t feel anything for you again.**

**N: It's okay.**

**S: It’s not. Not for me.**

Natasha laid her hand on Steve's face and he looked into her eyes.

**N: I repeat what I said. I want both of us together.**

**S: But I don’t want to.** **Not anymore.**

**N: I know. You're scared and suspicious, so am I. I don’t trust myself or my feelings.**

**S: Feelings?**

Natasha nodded.

**N: I have them… for you… I missed you all those days you disappeard and I've been thinking a lot about you.**

**S: Natasha...**

Steve sighed.

**N: Seriously. I don’t see a reason for us not to be together… I mean… we love each other.**

**S: Do you love me?**

Natasha looked at him and sighed, she knows she does love him, but it's so hard to admit it, she's afraid to say it today and tomorrow the feeling disappear like magic, it's happened before with other guys.

**S: That silence of yours... you are in doubt.**

**N: No, I'm not. I love you, Steve. I’m so sure right now. I'm just afraid of how I'm going to feel tomorrow, or next week, or the week after that. I hate myself for it, but I really want to stay with you and the kids, don’t push me away again**

**S: They've been through a lot, Nat.**

**N: I know! I know!**

**S: I don’t want them to get their hopes high and then crushed….**

**N: I agree with you, but I think we could try, you and me, try to be togehter without saying anything to them. What do you think?**

**S: And if it doesn’t work out, I'll be the one to be hurt the most.**

**N: Maybe.**

Natasha was honest.

Steve looked away briefly, then he stared at Natasha again. She is being honest about the uncertainties she has, and he may refuse to try something with her again right now, but if he says that he doesn’t want to try again, he would be lying for her and for himself.

**S: We will not be a couple, we can try to understand each other. Calmly. We shouldn’t even kiss or have sex...**

**N: Okay.**

**S: Okay?**

Natasha nodded and kissed Steve's cheek.

**N: Whatever you want… I’ll do it.**

Steve looked at her, sighed, and smiled a little.

**S: Let's sleep.**

Natasha laid her head on Steve's shoulder and hugged his waist. Steve stroked Natasha's belly until they fell asleep again.

...

The next morning, Sarah awoke, thinking she was still in her old apartment, she left her room, searching for her father and she got lost inside the house, because it was much bigger than the apartment.

Sarah got terrified and began to grumble and call for Steve.

James heard Sarah crying in the hallway and stood up, he opened his bedroom door.

**J: Sarah. What are you doing?**

James yawned.

**J: Go back to sleep.**

**Sarah: I want my daddy.**

**J: He's asleep.**

**Sarah: Where?**

**J: Upstairs. Stop crying.**

**Sarah: I want to go there.**

**J: So go.**

**Sarah: I'm afraid.**

**J: Afraid of what? Mom is there too.**

**Sarah: I don’t want to go alone, Jamie.**

**J: Jesus!!!**

James was annoyed, but he took Sarah's hand and led her up the stairs.

Because the house is big and new, Sarah doesn’t have the courage to walk alone there.

James opened the door for Steve's room, they both saw their parents lying together and hugging each other.

James raised his eyebrows, surprised and then he smiled.

**Sarah: Dadd...**

James covered Sarah's mouth, but Steve and Natasha heard her voice, so the two of them opened their eyes slowly.

Steve lifted his head a bit and looked at the children.

**S: James? Sarah…**

Steve whispered and yawned.

**S: Wh-what happened, princess?**

**J: Nothing!**

**S: Did she have a bad dream?**

**J: No! No! She’s fine, she’s alright.**

Steve looked at Sarah.

**S: Is that so? Are you scared?**

**Sarah: No, daddy.**

**S: Why are you out of bed?**

**J: We… we are playing.**

**S: Not on the s** **tairs, I hope.**

**J: No, we're already coming down.**

Steve frowned, James shoved Sarah out of the room and closed the door.

**J: They're together!!!!**

James jumped excitedly.

**Sarah: I want to be with them.**

**J: No, Sarah. Leave them alone.**

**Sarah: But I don’t want to be alone. I want my mommy and I want my daddy.**

**J: No, Sarah!**

**Sarah: Yes, Sarah!**

**J: You can stay with me. Okay?**

Sarah agreed to stay in James' room.

Steve looked at Natasha.

**S: What are they thinking now?**

**N: It doesn’t matter…**

Natasha shrugged.

**N: We don’t have to confirm anything.**

Natasha frowned, with the kick she'd taken from the twins, she grimaced and Steve almost did acrobatics on the bed, he sat down and looked at her with concern.

**N: Steve, they just kicked, that's all!**

**S: God.**

Steve stroked Natasha's belly and sighed.

**S: I'm going to the bakery to buy something for our breakfast.**

**N: Not now.**

**S: Huh?**

**N: I want to stay in bed with you, just a little bit longer. And also, because I need a good massage on my feet.**

Natasha lifted her foot, Steve smiled and lay in the opposite direction of Natasha, he kissed her foot and massaged it.

...

A few weeks passed, Natasha didn’t feel pain in her belly any more, so she didn’t see the need to tell Steve about it, she was already in her seventh month and she was not feeling any sick with the pregnancy.

By the way, Steve and Natasha relationship emproved a lot since their talk about the love they feel for each other, but they were still taking things very slow, once in a while they ended up making out, but they were learning how to be friends and intimate again.

On a certain day… Steve, Natasha and the kids were having breakfast together, how they used to do now living in the same house.

James was already in his baseball uniform.

**S: James, remember to run with your chin up, looking where you are going so you don’t lose your focus.**

**J: I don’t even know if they'll let me play today.**

**S: Of course they will.**

**J: I always stay in the bench.**

**Sarah: I don’t want to go, it's very boring!**

**S: So you stay with your mother and Laura who should be arriving at anytime.**

**N: Uh-uh, not with me, I'll go to the game.**

**S: Natasha...**

**J: She promised!**

**N: I promised and it's the last game of the season before the holidays, of course I'll be there.**

Steve couldn’t argue, he knew it would be useledd.

After the breakfast, they waited for Laura to arrive to stay with Sarah and then they took James to the game.

When they got there, Natasha ducked to look at James.

**N: Can you make a point for me?**

James smiled and nodded.

**J: If I get into the game.**

**N: You will.**

James's coach whistled and he ran to join the team.

**S: Go, James!!!**

Steve whistled and clapped his hands.

James slammed his face, feeling ashamed.

Steve took Natasha's hand and helped her up to the bleachers. They sat down and Natasha stared at Steve.

**N: Can you get some popcorn for me?**

**S: Yes.**

**N: And a hot dog?**

**S: Okay.**

**N: And some soda?**

**S: Alright!**

Steve stepped away to buy food and soon Sam Wilson arrived at the bleachers, wearing a shirt printed with the picture of James on it.

Natasha shook her head as Sam nodded and approached.

**Sam: Hey, Nat! Look, look, look… team James! What do you think about that? Am I the best godfather or what!! GOOOO JAMEEEES!!!**

Sam stood beside Natasha, screaming.

 **Sam: Hey! Hey! That boy over there… the redhead! He is my godson!** The best of the team!!!

**N: My God Sam, don’t do this, he barely plays!**

Steve noticed Sam's presence from the tent, he started to laugh, and after grabbing Natasha's lunch, he returned to the bleachers.

Steve handed the lunch to Natasha and greeted Sam.

**Sam: Go, James! Go James! Go James!**

Natasha was dying of shame and the worst part was that Steve stood with Sam, doing the same thing.

The game started, but James stayed on the bench.

Steve and Sam were forced to sit down when the other parents complained that they needed to watch too.

James only entered the game when one of the players was injured and he came in to replace him.

Sam, Steve, and even Natasha stood up, clapping their hands, celebrating James’ entry into the game.

James looked at his parents and this time he looked nervous. Natasha noticed and smiled at him, who smiled back.

The game continued and James' team was losing with a huge difference, and near the end of the game, James finally got the chance to score a point.

**N: Oh God. It’s now!**

**S: You can do it, James!**

**Sam: You two, shut up, I'm nervous!**

Sam had his cap on his mouth.

**S: Just run, James, just run!**

**N: He can’t hear you, Steve!**

James remembered what the coach told him, and what Steve said at the time of the breakfast, he kept staring at where he should run, he took a deep breath and started running. James managed to get to the set point and scored the point for the team, although the team had already lost the game anyway.

Natasha, Steve and Sam started jumping and celebrating as if the team had won the game, because it didn’t matter to them, what mattered was that their son finally got a point and Natasha knows how much he wanted to do it.

James looked at his parents and Sam and started to laugh, he ran to the fence and no one understood why they were so happy.

Steve and Sam approached the fence as well, to congratulate James.

**Sam: This is my boy! My boy!!! Good job, James!**

**S: We're so proud of you, James.**

**J: Thank you. I made the point for you, Mom. Mom?**

James thought Natasha would have come to the fence too, so he looked for her and he broke the smile when he saw Natasha grimacing at the bleanchers.

Steve and Sam also looked at Natasha, and they saw her with the hand on her belly and an expression of pain in her face. James ran to go out of the camp and reach his parents.

Steve and Sam were supporting Natasha, who could barely move.

The other parents who were present also came to help.

**\- There's an ambulance right there at the entrance.**

**S: Come on, Nat, it’s okay.**

Steve and Sam carried Natashaand James followed them. The nurse noticed them approaching and then opened the ambulance doors.

**\- Hi. How many months is she pregnant?**

The nurse asked, while helping to place Natasha on the stretcher.

**S: Seven, I think.**

**\- Her belly is huge, even for seven months, are they twins or something like that?**

**S: Yes, twins.**

**\- Okay…**

The nurse stared at Natasha and started to test her reflections.

**\- Hey, what is your name?**

**N: Na-Natasha.**

Natasha answered with difficulty.

**\- Hello, Natasha, my name is Claire, I'm’ here to help you, okay? Have the pains started now?**

**S: Yes.**

**N: No…**

****

Natasha took a deep breath. Steve looked at her.

**N: I felt something like that a few weeks ago…**

**S: What???**

**N: It was not that strong.**

**S: You didn’t say anything…**

**Claire: Okay, okay. It's going to be okay, this looks like a contraction now. Who will accompany us?**

**S: Me.**

**J: Mom?**

**S: James, you stay here with Sam. Behave yourself, please.**

Steve got into the ambulance and asked Claire to go to the hospital where Natasha has been following up with. Claire passed the instructions to the driver and then checked Natasha's dilation.

**Claire: She's not even a little dilated. It's a little early for these babies to come out.**

**S: Jesus!**

**Claire: Calm down, it’s gonna be okay!**

Claire rushed the ambulance driver, being twins she wouldn’t be able to perform the delivery alone, even more that Natasha had no dilation.

Natasha screamed in pain.

**S: What's happening?**

**Claire: I'm not sure.**

Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the hospital, and it was looking like a movie scene, many patients and people waiting for care. It seems that there was a serious accident in a building near the hospital and everyone was sent there.

Cho approached Steve.

**Cho: Steve!**

**S: Cho!**

**Cho: You have to go to another hospital, it's very full here. It’s a mess!**

**S: Cho, you know that only you can take care of her.**

**Cho: I know, but I needed at least one nurse to help me, they're all busy now, I'm going with you to another hospital.**

**N: There is no time!!!!**

Natasha screamed, then she almost fainted.

**N: Get this off me, please, it hurts so much! Get this off!**

Natasha said in a weak voice and screamed in pain again.

**Claire: I'm a nurse. I’m experienced. I can help.**

**Cho: Do you have experience with preterm birth?**

Claire grinned.

**Claire: I have experience with everything you can imagine and also with what you can not imagine.**

****

**Cho: Great! Let's go to the elevator.**

Cho helped Claire push the stretcher to the elevator, as they reached the floor of the operating room, Cho stopped and made Steve stop.

**Cho: Wait here.**

**S: What? I can’t stay here.**

**Cho: Steve, this was not supposed to be happening right now, we'll have an emergency delivery, you're wearing common clothes, the risk of contamination is high. Wait here, as soon as possible we will call you.**

Steve took a deep breath and rubbed his face, he nodded and Cho entered the surgical center with Claire and Natasha.

Steve couldn’t sit down, he paced the corridor from side to side, he was so worried that he almost invaded the operating room, at least four times.

Time passed and no one went out to give any news. Three hours later, Maria Hill was arriving by the elevator, she approached Steve.

**H: Rogers.**

**S: Hill!**

**H: Any news?**

**S: No. I'm going crazy here!**

Hill pulled out of the bag, a bottle of whisky. Steve stared at the bootle.

**S: No, it has no effect on me.**

**H: Who said it is for you?**

Hill frowned and drank the whisky.

Hill crossed her arms and sat on the bench, she crossed her legs and looked very calm.

**S: Why are you calm like this?**

**H: Why are you nervous like this? You've been through this twice. She'll be fine.**

**S: But there are two at the same time, this time.**

H: She's going to suffer a little more then.

Steve looked at Hill. Hill rolled her eyes.

**H: I'm just kidding, she will not suffer, we're in a hospital. They'll anesthetize her. Are you relieved now?**

Hill and Steve noticed a team of doctors and nurses entering the operating room.

**H: Steve, stay calm, okay? Maybe it's not even for Natasha, the hospital is packed.**

**S: No one else came in here.**

**H: But they could already be here before you arrived.**

Steve took a deep breath and finally sat down next to Hill.

One hour later, Clint and Fury passed by the hospital to hear news but Steve still had nothing to say. Clint and Fury had to go away, but Hill stayed with Steve in the waiting area for hours.

After a long 8-hour wait, Cho appeared in the waiting area. Hill was already dozing on the bench, she woke when Steve got up. S: So?

Cho sighed.

**Cho: Look, she's fine!**

Steve sighed.

**S: And the babies?**

**Cho: Well... I need to talk to you in private, Steve.**

**S: Something wrong?**

**Cho: Come with me.**

**S: You can say in front of Hill, I can’t go alone right now.**

**Cho: It's a bit complicated, they were born pretty earlier.**

**H: Are they...?**

Hill wanted to ask if they were dead or something, but she didn’t have the courage to say the word.

**Cho: They're alive, yes.**

Steve and Hill finally breathed again. Both relieved.

**Cho: But it's not that simple.**

**S: What do you mean?**

**Cho: We did the delivery, the umbilical cord was around the neck of one of the babies, he was like purple, I thought he was dead, we did our best and we managed to revive him.**

**S: But that's a good thing, isn’t it?**

**Cho: Yes, but they are very fragile right now and if I say they are out of risk, I will be lying.**

**S: I don’t understand.**

**Cho: For now, Steve, you should calm down. Natasha will need you.**

**S: I want to see my children.**

**Cho: It’s not possible yet.**

**H: Why not???**

**Cho: They are in the incubator, in the ICU, they are very small and fragile, I believe they don’t have the serum, their lives are hanging by a thread, Steve. I'm so sorry.**

Steve put his hand to his mouth and took a deep breath.

**S: What are their chances?**

**Cho: I can’t say anything now, we'll have to wait and see if they react with time. I can assure you that they already are being well taken care of.**

**S: Can I… Can I see Natasha, then?**

**Cho: Yes, in an hour she'll be in room 203 on the second floor.**

**S: Thank you, Cho.**

Steve and Hill went down to the second floor, when Natasha arrived, they were already in the room.

Natasha was still numb.

**Hill: Steve, I need to go now, but I'll be back tomorrow as soon as I can.**

**S: Okay, Hill. Thank you.**

**H: It'll be all right, okay?**

****

Hill touched Steve's shoulder, he looked at her gratefully, but he didn’t have the strength to smile. Hill left.

Steve sighed, looking at Natasha and then he called Sam's cell phone to know about James, and Sam reported that he left James at home with Laura and that him and Sarah were fine. Sam offered to go to the hospital, but Steve refused, he ended the call and call home, he asked Laura to spent the night there and she agreed immediately.

Steve did not sleep all night. He sat on the couch and could only pray that the twins would be all right.

Early in the morning, Natasha opened her eyes and sighed. Steve was just dozing, but he heard the noise of her moving and then got up.

Steve approached her bed and took Natasha's hand, she looked at him.

**S: Hey…**

**N: Hey.**

Natasha whispered

**S: How are you feeling?**

Natasha looked at Steve and studied him, then she frowned.

**N: Steve?**

Steve didn’t say anything.

**N: You're sad.**

**S: No...**

Steve shook his head and he tried to disguise.

**N: You're sad! You’re sad… why are you sad?**

Natasha looked around and didn’t see the babies.

**N: Steve? Why are you sad??**

Natasha’s heartbeats got faster, she was getting agitaded and desperate.

Natasha also grabbed Steve’s arm and he was trying to calm her down.

**N: What happened???**

Steve sighed and looked away, Natasha's heart never hit so fast and she started to scream.

**N: Jesus, Steve! Why you don’t say anything??? Where are the babies?? Where are my children???**

****


	57. We don't cry for who's not dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back

**S: Natasha…**

Steve didn’t answer immediately, so Natasha got more nervous, she frowned.

**N: Where are they, Steve? What happened??**

**S: Cho will explain to you better, she told me that they were born premature and they are very fragile.**

**N: What does that mean?**

Steve sighed and made negative with his head, he didn’t know how to talk to Natasha about the twins, but he can’t lie.

**S: It means they're… struggling to survive.**

Natasha looked forward and her lips trembled, she couldn’t believe it. All she wants right now is to keep her babies closeto her because no one was trustworthy enough to be with them.

Natasha felt like the air was missing for her to breathe, she couldn’t stop shaking.

**N: Are they going to die?**

**S: I… I don’t know. I'm praying that they won’t.**

**N: Oh God…**

Natasha sighed and her were filled with tears. Steve sat on her bed and took her hand.

**N: Steve…**

Natasha looked into his eyes.

**N: I want to see them.**

**S: Cho said they're in ICU. We can’t stay with them.**

**N: No… I….**

Natasha was having hard time to speak properly, she wanted to cry desperately, but her brain is trying to reason.

**N: I… I need to seem them. Please…**

**S: I’m sorry…**

**\- You both can see them now, but you can’t be there for long.**

Cho said as she entered the room and listened to the conversation between Steve and Natasha.

Steve got up when he heard Cho’s voice.

**S: Any improvement?**

**Cho: I can’t call that an improvement, but… we're keeping them stable enough.**

**N: I want to see them now.**

**Cho: You will. I just need to check your stitches first.**

**N: No, I'm fine, take me to them.**

**Cho: Steve, you need to take a shower first. I brought these special clothes for you to wear.**

Steve nodded and walked into the bathroom of Natasha's bedroom, he showered and put on the protective clothing. Cho helped Natasha to dress her special clothes.

Steve came out of the bathroom and looked at Natasha, then at Dr. Cho.

**S: Can she walk? Wouldn’t the wheelchair be better?**

**Cho: Yes, she can and she must walk. Let's go.**

Steve took Natasha's hand to help her get up, then the two followed Cho to the ICU. There was an anteroom where Cho handed over hair caps and gloves to Steve and Natasha. The two put on and became much more nervous with all this procedure.

Cho opened the door and there were a lot of incubators in the room, but Natasha recognized from a distance her babies and went straight to them, Steve followed her.

Natasha looked at the two of them, each in an incubator, it looked like they were locked in a cage and that broke Natasha and Steve's heart.

Natasha put her hand on her face and she couldn’t contain her tears anymore, she started to cry and had to cover her mouth to not be so loud. Steve was right behind her and he put a hand on Natasha's shoulder, which caused Natasha to turn to him, hug his waist tight and burry her face in Steve's chest.

**N: Why is this happening? Is it my fault? Is it my fault?**

****

**S: No, Natasha.**

**N: It’s my fault! I didn’t want them. It’s my fault!**

Natasha cried desperately.

**Cho: Natasha, I need you to calm down, okay? They were born early, it's no one's fault. Listen… the babies can feel the tension of you and Steveand we have another babies in here, so try to be as calm as possible. I know it’s hard.**

Natasha understood and she tried to calm down, she nodded and was able to just be sobbing.

Cho placed two chairs between the incubators, Steve and Natasha sat in the chairs and Natasha just couldn’t stop sobbing, she was feeling guilty about the twins situation.

**Cho: We need the names to identify them.**

**S: It's Nicholas and... Lindsay.**

**Cho: Beautiful names, I will arrange everything. I’ll give you a moment with them. You have half an hour.**

**N: Half an hour??**

Natasha frowned.

**Cho: They can’t be so exposed, it’s for their protection.**

Cho withdrew, Steve was holding Natasha's hand, she looked at Lindsay's incubator and noticed that she was awake, slowly moving her hands and feet. The tube attached to her nose made Natasha feel even worse.

The ICU nurse approached.

**\- You can touch her, honey, just put your hand in here.**

The nurse indicated the holes to fit the hands in the incubator, Natasha didn’t feel worth of touching the babies, she could have said about those weird pains in her belly, perhaps that caused their situation.

No, it was not because of that, but Natasha will believe that it’s her fault anyway.

Lindsay started to cry and she was so small that Natasha couldn’t hear her cry, just the look on her face.

**N: Sh... shh...**

Natasha touched the incubator.

**N: It's okay, baby… I am here….**

Natasha instinctively put her hand inside the incubator, she stroked Lindsay's breast lightly and she immediately stopped crying.

**N: I’m so sorry…**

Natasha started to cry again.

**N: It’s okay…**

**S: You're doing great, Natasha.**

**N: It's so hard!**

**S: I know.**

Steve answered, he was already stroking Nicholas's feet in his incubator.

**N: We have to wear gloves to touch our kids, this is so inhumane. I just wanted to be able to hold them in my arms!**

**S: Me too, but they are like that to get better faster. If I could do something, I would.**

Natasha didn’t take her eyes off Lindsay, she wanted to lie down next to her and never leave.

**S: She looks bigger than him, doen’t she?**

Steve looked at Nicholas, then at Lindsay.

**N: Yes.**

Natasha looked at Nicholas.

**N: He reminds me of you.**

**S: Do you think so?**

**N: Yes.**

**S: Do you wanna to change a little?**

Natasha nodded, she was more in control now, she stroked Lindsay one more time and got up to change places with Steve.

Natasha stroked Nicholas's arm.

**N: He looks even weaker than she is, he's so skinny.**

**S: I noticed.**

**N: Are they feeding him?**

**S: Of course they are.**

**N: I don’t know.**

**S: Cho would not starve them, Natasha.**

Natasha sighed and looked into Steve's eyes.

**N: You think... You think if I had fed better, they would...**

**S: Shh... Natasha, I know what you're doing. Stop. You’re not guilty.**

**N: I'm being punished, they're being punished because I didn’t want them.**

**S: You love them now, right?**

**N: More than anything!**

**S: So... It's not a punishment, okay?**

Cho reappeared in the ICU.

**Cho: It’s time, guys.**

**N: W-what??**

Natasha went into despair.

**N: Cho… I need to stay with them.**

**Cho: I'm sorry, Natasha.**

**N: Please. Put them in my room.**

**Cho: It's for their sake. You'll see them again, tomorrow.**

**N: Tell me they'll be fine.**

**Cho: I can’t lie to you, Natasha.**

Natasha burst out crying again, Steve helped her walk out of the ICU. As they left the room, Natasha lost strength in her legs, Steve hugged her and then took her in his lap, he kissed Natasha's forehead as he walked with her back to the room.

Steve laid Natasha on the bed, Natasha now had only her eyes swollen and red.

**N: You're so calm.**

**S: I'm not, but someone has to keep it together.**

**N: You're always doing this for me. I’m so sorry.**

**S: It’s alright.**

**N: You can cry now if you want.**

Steve shook his head. His expression was pure melancholy.

**N: You have to go.**

**S: No, I’m not leaving.**

**N: You need to see James and Sarah.**

**S: I will not leave you.**

Natasha sighed and rested her head on the pillow, then closed her eyes.

Steve covered Natasha and then he called to hear news of the children.

**_L: Steve, don’t worry about anything, they're fine._ **

**_S: Did Sarah sleep well?_ **

**_L: We can say that yes, she cried a little to sleep, but then slept straight till the morning._ **

**_S: What about James?_ **

**_L: Oh he is a big boy already, he understands better, heasked about his mother and sinblings_ **

**_S: Tell them they're okay._ **

**_L: Wait, there's someone here who wants to talk to you._ **

Laura passed the phone to Sarah.

**_Sarah: Daddy?_ **

**_S: Hey, princess!_ **

 Sarah was fine, until she heard Steve's voice. Now she is crying, asking Steve to go home.

**_S: I can’t go baby, I need to stay with Mom._ **

**_Sarah: Then come pick me up._ **

**_S: I can’t, hospital is not for children._ **

**_Sarah: When will I see you?_ **

**_S: Tomorrow, okay?_ **

**_Sarah: Okay. I want to talk to Mommy._ **

Steve looked at Natasha, who was asleep.

**_S: She just fell asleep. I'll let you talk to her later, okay?_ **

**_Sarah: Okay._ **

**_S: Let me talk to James._ **

_Sarah ran to James's room and handed the phone to him._

**_J: Dad?_ **

**_S: Hey, champ, how are you?_ **

**_J: Good. What about my mom?_ **

**_S: She's fine, she's sleeping._ **

**_J: And the babies? Are they born?_ **

**_S: Yes. James, behave yourself, okay? Tomorrow I'll be there._ **

**_J: Okay, tell Mom I love her._ **

**_Sarah: Me too, me too._ **

Steve heard Sarah screaming in the background.

**_S: I will. Take care. I love you._ **

**_J: Bye, dad._ **

Steve hung up the phone and looked at Natasha asleep, he sat down on the couch and thought he could cry now, but nothing came out, which was too bad, to get all the anguish stuck to his chest.

Steve fell asleep and when he woke Natasha was awake, looking at him.

**S: Hey... you didn’t wake me up…**

Natasha seemed to have her mind elsewhere.

**N: Do you think they are happy?**

**S: Huh?**

**N: James and Sarah.**

Steve frowned, confused with ther question.

**S: Uhm… yeah, I'm sure they are happy.**

**N: That's good.**

**S: Natasha, why are you asking this?**

**N: I was just thinking…we have to do everything to keep them happy, forever, you know? James, Sarah and the babies.**

Steve got up and looked at her.

**N: We'll make them happy, right?**

**S: Yeah...**

**N: I didn’t have anyone to make sure I was happy when I was a little girl… do you understand how important it is for me, that they are happy?**

**S: They're happy, Natasha. They are.**

Steve hurried over to Natasha, he sat on her bed then pulled her in a hug. Natasha laid her head on Steve's chest and gripped his shirt while Steve ran a hand through her hair.

**S: I promise you, they are happy.**

**C: Knock, knock!**

Steve and Natasha interrupted the gud to stare at Clint Barton in the bedroom door with decorative balloons.

**C: I already know that their names are Nick and Lindsay. Although Clinton Rogers would be a much prettier name. It sounds better, isn’t it?**

Natasha didn’t smile, she didn’t have the strength or the will to pretend she was okay. Clint tied the balloons on Natasha's bed and greeted Steve by shaking his hand.

Clint looked at Natasha.

**C: My grandfather used to tell me that crying for someone who is not dead is the biggest waste of time a man can have.**

Natasha looked at Clint.

**C: They are not dead, are they?**

****

Clint looked into Natasha and Steve's eyes.

**C: Don’t kill them, don’t treat them as if they were dead. I beg you, guys. If you treat them like that, they are most likely to really die. I know it hurts talking and thinking about death, but you can’t feel this pain of death, because that does not exist for you… you know why?**

Clint continued.

**C: Because they are here. They're alive, let's treat them like that. Let’s be happy that they are born! Let’s celebrate!**

Natasha didn’t react to Clint's speech in the first few minutes, but she closed her eyes and when she reopened them, her eyes were already filled with tears.

Clint approached the other side of her bed and hugged Natasha. Steve got up and sighed, Clint's words had been quite comforting.

**C: Cry, baby, cry. Let it out, but this is the last time you're going to cry for those who are not dead.**

Natasha nodded, Clint wiped her tears and kissed Natasha's forehead.

**C: Bobbi who paid for the balloons. She sent the congratulations and everyone out there is cheering for you both and the babies.**

**S: Thank you, Barton. I don’t even know how to properly…**

**C: Oh, it’s fine!**

Clint interrupeted Steve.

**C: You are family to me. Let's win this shit together.**

Clint had a good time with Natasha today and also the next day when Steve needed to go home, to stay with James and Sarah for a bit.

Steve prepared a new bag with more clothes for him and Natasha, Natasha was already realeased from the hospital, but she refused to leave the place because of the twins.

One more day later, a nurse appeared in the room and announced that they could go upstairs to see the twins again, this time Hill was in the room with Natasha and Steve, paying a visit.

**S: Hill, before you go, can I ask you a favor?**

**H: Yes.**

**S: Can you stay with the kids tonight and tomorrow? Laura have been straight at my home with them for days, she needs some time off.**

**H: I don’t mean to be rude, but can’t Sam stay with them? I mean he deals better with kids than me.**

**S: He's not in town, he went on a mission with Bucky and Clint can’t leave the Base, he's helping Tony in my place.**

**H: Okay.**

Hill left the hospital while Steve and Natasha went up to the ICU and were greeted by Dr. Cho.

Dr. Cho had a lively smile on her face.

**Cho: I have good news, guys. They are getting better.**

**S: I noticed they are getting bigger.**

**Cho: Yes. Only Lindsay got less development than Nick, but he was the one who needed the most, he was the one who was in a more serious state.**

Natasha sighed and she couldn’t even smile.

**Cho: They will remain hospitalized, but I'm more hopeful now..**

**N: Are they out of risk?**

**Cho: No, exactly.**

**N: What do you mean?**

**Cho: I'm saying they're starting to react and we've established a stable picture. If they keep developing, they're sure to get out of this.**

**S: Thank you, Cho.**

Natasha stepped past Steve and entered the ICU sector, already in a proper clothing.

Natasha smiled to see that Nick was no longer using help from breathing devices and finally they saw him awake.

Steve arrived a few minutes later and sat next to Lindsay's incubator.

**S: Hey, baby girl.**

**N: He's not even with the devices to help him breathe anymore. That's… that’s nice.**

****

Steve looked at Nicholas and smiled.

**S: See? It will be all right.**

Natasha looked at Steve and smiled, much more relieved, she doesn’t even know why but she gave a quick kiss on Steve’s lips and turned her attention to Nicholas.

Natasha knows the deal with Steve, no kisses or other intimacies while they are rediscovering their relationship, but she was so happy now and she acted naturally.

**\- Dad, Mom, let's take them to the bedroom… shall we?**

Two nurses approached Steve and Natasha, they got up and the nurses took the twins from the incubator they were about to put them in another ones that was not completely closed. Only Lindsay still had devices to help her breathe better.

Steve and Natasha accompanied the babies to an exclusive room for themselves and the babies.

**S: Will we be able to stay with them here?**

**\- Yes.**

The nurses put the incubators, well no more incubators, we can call them cribs now, they put them next to Natasha's bed and turned on the monitoring devices in Lindsay.

One of the nurses took Nick in his arms and walked over to Natasha, he was going to put him on Natasha's lap, but she got scared and stepped back.

**\- You don’t want to hold him?**

Natasha looked at Steve and he stroked Natasha's arm, encouraging her.

**\- He didn’t eat today yet.**

**N: Why not?**

**\- Because Dr. Cho wanted you to feed him.**

**N: Me???**

Natasha frowned.

The nurse laughed at Natasha's surprise.

**\- You better sit in the chair, okay?**

Natasha couldn’t even move, since the children were born, she never touched them without gloves.

After a few seconds she went to the armchair in the bedroom and sat down. The nurse placed Nick on her lap and Natasha immediately smiled, in an extremely silly way, as never seen before. Natasha watched all the details of the baby, she was trying to record all his features at once.

**N: He's so small yet.**

Nick started to cry softly because he didn’t have enough strength to cry loudly.

**\- Well, he's hungry.**

**N: Oh…**

Natasha frowned again.

**N: B-but… Where… where's his food?**

The nurse laughed and looked at Steve.

**\- She's funny.**

Steve crouched next to Natasha.

**S: I think they want you to breastfeed him.**

**N: Me?? What??? I… I… do not... I can’t.**

It’s not that Natasha doesn’t want to breastfeed her son, but she doesn’t know how to do it and she doesn’t even know if she has milk in her breasts.

**N: I don’t think I have milk…**

The other nurse approached.

**\- You have it, darling. Every morning I check for you, remember?**

**N: What? Was for that?**

**\- Yeah, you seem like being mom for the first time in your life. You don’t know how to breastfeed? I thought you had two kids.**

**N: I do.**

**S: Well, we have kids, but she lost her memories, so she does not remember...**

**\- Oh! Okay, I'll help you.**

The nurse helped Natasha get Nick to nurse, he stopped crying the minute he started to nurse, Natasha was gaping, she looked at Steve who was grinning from ear to ear.

**N: I'm nursing!**

**S: Yes.**

Steve nodded.

**N: Oh My God, I’m actually nursing someone!! Me... the Black Widow. God. Don’t tell Hill.**

**S: I will not, but it’s not like she doesn’t know about it, you breastfed Sarah.**

**N: Oh yeah, I didn’t remember.**

The nurses left and warned that they would come back to help Lindsay nurse later because she had been fed before.

Steve stroked Nick's head and kissed his forehead.

**N: I can’t believe I did it.**

**S: You’re amazing.**

Natasha smiled nonchalantly, looking at Nick.

**N: I don’t know how I can love someone who I just met, that much.**

**S: It's quite normal, I've loved them immensely since you told me you were pregnant.**

Natasha smiled and stroked Steve's face. Steve got up and walked over to Lindsay's crib.

**S: Hey, Lily. We didn’t forget you. I really want to get you on my lap.**

Steve sighed as he stroked Lindsay's hand, hours later when it was time for Lindsay to nurse, Natasha had the same feeling she had with Nick, she was just as thrilled.

The nurses fought with Steve for spending so much time with Nick on his lap.

**S: I'm clean, I wash my hands and I shower.**

**N: True, almost every two hours.**

**\- I understand, but...**

Cho entered the room.

**Cho: It's okay, at this stage, the more human contact, the better.**

Cho examined the babies and noticed that Nick was apparently better off with his parents. Lindsay also seems to be less pale.

**Cho: See you tomorrow.**

**S: Cho, I was wondering if James and Sarah could come and meet their siblings?**

**Cho: Of course. In time of visits only.**

**S: Thank you.**

The next day, Steve went home and picked the kids to come to the hospital.

Upon arriving there, Sarah was jumping and squeezing Steve's hand.

**S: Sarah, remember, you can’t grab the babies.**

**Sarah: Why? I really want to hold them.**

**J: Because they are sick.**

**S: Exactly, they’re too fragile.**

Steve knocked on the bedroom door and Natasha was nursing Lindsay and a nurse was with Nick on her lap.

Sarah and James ran to Natasha.

**Sarah: Mommy!!!**

**J: Mom!**

**N: Hey, guys... I missed you.**

**J: So do we. Is that Lindsay?**

**N: Yes.**

**Sarah: She's so ugly.**

Sarah wrinkled her nose.

**S: She's a baby, Sarah. She looks a lot like you when you were a baby.**

**J: Haha, that means you're ugly!**

**S: No, it means they're both beautiful.**

Steve picked Nick from the nurse's lap, who withdrew from the room.

**J: What's that on her nose, mom?**

**N: It's to help her breathe.**

Sarah walked over to Steve and pulled his arm.

**S: Sarah, slow down, remember what I said? They are very fragile.**

**Sarah: I want to see him.**

Steve crouched and Sarah looked at Nick.

**Sarah: They look the same.**

**J: They're twins, you dumb.**

**Sarah: You dumb.**

**J: No, you dumb.**

**Sarah: You!**

**S: Stop, do you want to leave already?**

Sarah and James shook their heads.

**Sarah: He looks like a doll.**

**S: It does…**

James came to Steve to meet Nick.

**J: Hi Nick.**

James smiled, then he looked at Natasha.

**J: When will you come home?**

**N: As soon as the twins get better.**

**Sarah: Does it take long?**

**S: I hope not.**

After the visit, Laura showed up at the hospital to take Sarah and James home.

A week later, on Dr. Cho's routine visit, she came in with a clipboard and handed it to Steve, along with a pen.

**S: What is this?**

**Cho: The papers of your realeasements.**

**N: What?? Really? We can go home?**

**Cho: You yourselves could see their improvement... They are stronger now and I see the dedication and care of you, so I am releasing them to go home.**

**S: I'm so relieved, Cho.**

**Cho: I can imagine, but we're going to monitor these little angels… once a week bring them to an appointment.**

**N: But you didn’t take Lindsay's breathing devices.**

**Cho: Yeah, unfortunately we're not going to take it off yet. Her lung is not 100% yet, you're going to take the device with her until she can be without it.**

**S: But is it safe?**

**Cho: Perfectly.**

Steve looked at Natasha and they both smiled, very relieved. Steve signed the discharge papers and prepared to finally take the children home. Cho left the room, leaving Steve and Natasha to pack the babies and the suitcases to leave.

Natasha walked over to the dresser and grabbed clothes to dress the babies, she walked over to Steve and handed it to him.

**N: I don’t know how to do this, they’re too little.**

**S: You have to try.**

**N: No, I'm afraid. I don’t want to break any of them.**

Steve smiled.

**S: You will not break, just be careful. I'll help you.**

Steve took Natasha's hand and slipped the clothes back into her hand, Steve followed Natasha and she looked at Nick.

Steve stroked Natasha's arm.

**S: It's okay, you can do it.**

Natasha sighed and nodded, she took off the blanket that covered Nick, Steve helped hold Nick's head, for Natasha put on the overalls on him.

**S: Legs first, just like that… yes, now fit the arms…**

Steve smiled.

**S: You're shaking.**

**N: Of course I am!**

Steve touched Natasha's hand.

**S: No need, you're doing great.**

Steve tilted his head so he could see Natasha and she looked at him so closely that they both froze for a few seconds. Steve put his lips to Natasha's, the two of them closed their eyes in the moment their mouths touched. Natasha's lips parted and she allowed his tongue to penetrate her mouth and caress her tongue, this time in a much calmer and more warm way.

They both stopped immediately when they heard knocks on the door.

**\- Excuse me, Dad and Mom, I...**

Steve and Natasha moved their lips away, but when they opened their eyes, their gazes locked on each other for a few seconds.

The nurse was clearly embarrassed to have interrupted their moment and as Steve and Natasha were not paying any attention to what she had to say, she just smiled and stepped back, leaving the room and closing the door.

After leaving the room, the nurse came acroos with another nurse who has also helped with the twins for all these weeks they’ve been hospitalized, they both came to say goodbye to the babies.

**\- Rose, did you say goodbye to the twins already? I thought you would wait for me.**

The nurse Rose shook her head.

**\- I did not, I couldn’t.**

**\- It’s sad when they leave, but it’s also a relief for the parents, I know you must be missing them already…**

The other nurse sighed.

**\- Well, then I'll say goodbye to my little angels, now…**

**\- No!**

The nurse Rose said firmly.

**\- Don’t go in there right now.**

**\- And why not??**

The other nurse frowned.

**\- Well, have you ever seen a more gorgeous and lovely couple than the twins’ parents?**

**\- The Captain and the Widow? No, Rose, they're not a couple anymore, I heard they split up.**

**\- You so naïve… if you had seen how one was looking at the other right now, you'd never say that…**

**\- Oh, yeah?**

**\- Yeas, my Darling, what I saw inside that room... was love.** **Pure love!  
**


	58. A surprise and A Misunderstanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys, I took so long, I know, we're getting close to the end, but you all know someone really importante will die, I'm not talking about one of the kids...

While James and Sarah were at home, waiting for their parents to return with the twins, Laura was already preparing a lunch to greet them at home. She heard the doorbell ring and walked into the living room.

**L: James and Sarah, don’t go into the kitchen because I'm cooking and it's dangerous.**

**Sarah: All right!**

**J: Can we play outside, Laura?**

**L: You know you can’t. Your father gave strict orders for you to stay home.**

Laura glanced at the door, then opened it.

**L: Mr. Barton... What a surprise.**

**C: Call me Clint, I thought we were close enough for that already.**

**L: Sorry?**

**C: I'm just joking.**

**L: Steve didn’t tell me that you would come here today.**

**C: They don’t know actually, Natasha called me telling me the babies were coming home, so I decided to make a surprise.**

**Sarah: Hi, Uncle Clint. Hi, Francis.**

Francis stood with his arms folded, he was in a bad mood.

**C: Hello, little Natasha.**

**L: I don’t know if I can allow you here...**

**C: Well, we are Avengers, we will do no harm and you can trust us.**

**L: Us?**

**C: Yes, I invited some friends for the surprise. What is this smell? Looks good.**

Clint entered the house, followed by Francis. Laura frowned and looked at another car parking in front of the Rogers' house. Sam Wilson was coming in, with Sharon Carter, Jessica Drew, Bucky and Carol Danvers, they all were bringing presents and decorative balloons, but many same balloons.

Sarah put her hands on her cheeks and screamed at the sight of Carol and Jessica.

**Carol: Hiii my babyyyy!**

**Jess: Oh lord the food is smelling so good, has the party started yet?**

**Sam: Hi, Samantha.**

**Sarah: Hi Uncle Sam! Is that for me?**

**Sam: No, my love, it's for the twins. Your birthday is over.**

Sarah broke the smile and hit her foot on the floor in protest.

**Sarah: It's all for them now!!!**

Laura waited for them to come in with all the decoration they had brought to the party, and she was already nervous for fear of being fired for allow all of that, even tho she didn’t allow, they were just arriving.

Laura was going to close the door, but she was pushed lightly, Hill was coming in now.

**Sarah: Maria!!!**

Sarah ran and hugged Hill's legs. Hill was wearing sunglasses, and she was with a serious expression on her face, she laid her finger on Sarah's forehead and pushed her back.

**H: Silence, child… please.**

Clint raised an eyebrow.

**C: Someone is already hung over.**

**Sharon: Guys I thing something is burning in the kitchen.**

**L: Oh, my God!**

Laura ran to the kitchen

**C: I'll... I think I'll help her there.**

Clint pointed to the kitchen and started to move slowly there.

Sam glanced at Clint, eyebrow raised.

**Sam: Where's Bobbi, huh?**

**C: She will come... soon, I guess…**

The doorbell rang again, everyone was engaged in arranging the decoration around the room for the surprise, Sarah was the one who answered the door this time.

When Sarah opened the door, then she stared at the man's feet in front of her, they were huge, she looked up and gaped when she saw him.

**Thor: Hello, little mortal.**

Thor smiled at Sarah

**Torunn: Hi, Sarah!**

**Sarah: Hi Torunn! James and Francis are in there, come on.**

Sarah held Torunn's hand and dragged her to James's room.

**Sarah: Hiiii! Look who’s here!**

**F: Torunn!**

Francis grinned, as did James who couldn’t say anything.

**F: Let's play.**

**Torunn: Alright.**

**Sarah: Of what?**

**F: Not you, you're small.**

Sarah frowned at Francies, then she looked at James expecting for him to do something about it, but he did not defend her, Sarah got upset.

**Sarah: I'll tell Mommy and daddy and Laura and Grandma when I go to Cindy’s!**

**J: Tell them! I don’t care!**

James shrugged and Sarah hit her foot on the floor, then she left the room with tears in her eyes, she would run to her nanny, but the avengers tried to calm her doen, but she accepted only Sam’s lap.

**Sam: Why so sad, little Sam?**

**Sarah: Jamie and the others won’t let me play! Hit them, please.**

**Sam: Hit them? No, no, that’s not nice, just leave them there.**

Sarah looked at Thor.

**Sarah: He's stronger, I'm going to ask him to beat Jamie.**

**Sam: What do you mean, stronger?**

Sarah shook herself until Sam put her on the floor, then she ran to Thor, but the doorbell rang again, causing her to distract herself and run to the door.

Before Sarah could open the door, Laura put her hand on the door and looked at Sarah, making negative with her finger.

**L: You're not allowed to open the door, remember?**

Laura opened the door and it was Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. Tony lowered his glasses to look at Laura, then he smiled.

**T: Are you following me? It's getting kind of obvious that crush you have on me, don’t you think?**

Laura sighed and rolled her eyes.

**P: Ignore Tony, he thinks all the women will fall for him.**

**T: No, just a few, but you're one of them, right?**

**P: Keep dreaming.**

Pepper said smiling and walking into the house.

Tony looked down to Sarah.

**T: Oh a girl… hey there, where's my son?**

**Sarah: He's being mean!!!**

**T: Yeah?**

**Sarah: Yes. He didn’t let me play because I'm a girl.**

**T: That’s my boy. Excuse me, but kids bores me to death.**

Sarah frowned as Tony came in and went to Sam to ask about something with alcohol to drink.

**Sam: Tony this is a baby reception, there's no drink here.**

**T: No? What have I come to do here, then?**

**P: You came to honor the children of your friends.**

**T: Again? When will they stop procreating? If one Steve Rogers is boring, imagine several of them out there.**

**Sarah: My dad is not boring, he's really cute and he stronger than you, he will break your teeth!**

**T: Aggressive this girl, she is like her mother. Thank God.**

**H: Hey, guys, guys! I'm monitoring Steve's cell phone, they're arriving.**

**L: I'll call the children!**

Everyone settled in to surprise Steve and Natasha, and their car parked five minutes after Hill announced.

Steve got out of the car and helped Natasha get out of the car, she was holding Nicholas in her lap. Lindsay was at the car seat with her oxygen equipment.

Bobbi Morse who was late didn’t notice Steve and Natasha getting out of the car, she was looking for the house number and stopped beside them, looking to see the house number on the front. The Avengers who were watching from the window, began gesturing for Bobbi to hide, but she was not seeing them, she walked across the garden in front of the house and when she was a few meters from the door, she saw her friends inside the house gesturing to her.

Bobbi understood they were just waving at her so she smiled and waved back excitedly.

Sam and Clint tapped their foreheads.

Steve and Natasha were still distracted by the removal of Lindsay from the car. As soon as they had finished removing Lindsay, Sam was desperate and stood at the window with an angry face, gesturing for Bobbi to understand that something was wrong. Bobbi was startled by Sam's face and stopped waving, she raised her shoulders in confusion and didn’t understand why Sam was asking her to go to the side.

Bobbi looked back and saw Steve and Natasha turning to face the house and now she understood the reason for everyone's desperation in the house, she looked everywhere and there were some bushes on the sid of the house, she didn’t hesitate, she threw erself into the bushes.

Steve and Natasha walked to the front door carring their babies and Nick Fury, who was also late, was walking down the sidewalk.

Sam saw Fury after Steve and Natasha.

**Sam: AH! C’MON!!!**

**H: Relax, Sam, Steve and Natasha are here at the door, so no problem.**

The problem was that Steve hadn’t yet entered the house because he was looking for the keys in his pocket.

**S: Damn, I left the keys in the car. I'll be right back.**

Bucky saw Steve turning to go to the sidewalk.

**B: He's going back.**

Everyone started gesturing for Nick Fury to hide somewhere, he had already noticed Steve and Natasha at the door and stood on the sidewalk waiting for them to enter the house, so he could get in the house too, but when he saw Steve turning back, he ran down the sidewalk and leaned against the neighbor's fence, hoping Steve would not look in his direction.

Steve went to the car and opened the door to get the keys.

James's new neighbor and new friend, Mike, was riding his bike and stopped right next to Nick Fury, he took a snot from his nose as he looked at Nick, who looked at him sideways and raised his eyebrow, as if asking "What are you looking at?”

Luckily, Steve was more concerned on protecting Lindsay and didn’t notice Fury or Mike. He returned to Natasha.

**Mike: Are you a pirate?**

**Fury: No, I'm the Tooth Fairy.**

**Mike: So your custome sucks.**

**Fury: Thank you.**

Steve approached Natasha and she whispered.

**N: Did you notice?**

**S: Yes.**

**N: Let's just pretend to be surprised…**

Steve finally opened the door, Clint and Sam began throwing loud confetti and whistling. Natasha forced a smile on her face and Steve was smiling with happiness because he loves his friends and he loved the mobilization they did for Nicholas and Lindsay.

Sarah rushed over to Steve and stretched out her arms for a lap. Steve told Sara that he could not get her on his lap now, but he crouched down to be at the same height as her to receive a kiss and a hug.

Sam and Bucky were the first to hug Steve and to congratulate him.

Natasha was doing the opposite of Steve and avoiding being touched, but Pepper and Laura approached her anyway.

**Pepper: Look at him, he does not even seem to have been hospitalized, he looks great.** **Can I hold him?**

_No._ Natashs thoutght.

**N: Y-yes.**

Natasha handed Nick over to Pepper's lap, then she approached Maria Hill who was pretending not to be there, but before she talked to Hill, she noticed she was being spied by someone, she looked at the hall and spotted her little stalker… James Rogers.

James was spying his mom, he misses her and Natasha knows that and she knows James is very shy to approach her and he does not like to ask for some affection.

Natasha smiled at him and decided to help, she crouched and opened her arms at James’ direction and James smiled back and ran to hug her.

**N: So, you’re the responsible for all this party, huh?**

**J: No, we didn’t know about it, everybody just came here.**

**N: I know, I'm just joking.**

**J: Mom, Torunn's here and we're playing together and also Francis.**

**N: Really? That’s nice and...**

**H: Is she here?**

Hill interrupted Natasha and frowned, she hasn’t heard news from Torunn since Thor took her away after her mother's death.

**H: How… how is she?**

**J: Well, I guess.**

**H: I uh…. I really wanted to know how she is doing.**

**J: Let's go talk to her!**

**H: Is her father here too?**

**J: Yes.**

**H: Then I had better stay in my own.**

Bobbi and Nick Fury arrived at the door, covered in leaves and twigs.

**Fury: This is the last time I participate in any event you do.**

Nick Fury went to Natasha and handed the gift of the twins.

Nicholas woke up and began to cry, calling the attention of those present. Natasha went back to Pepper Potts and took him in her arms, she rocked him soflty, which calmed Nick right away.

**C: Is that Deja Vu? Because I've seen this scene before, I swear.**

**Pepper: She's such a great mother!**

Pepper smiled and everyone was staring at Natasha with shinning eyes, filled with pride.

**N: Okay, alright, stop it.**

**S: She is a great mother yes, she was very brave...**

Steve looked at Natasha and she looked at him somewhat surprised.

**S: I am very proud of her, I could never gone throught what she did… like… she had four kids… I can’t even put in word how grateful I am for this…**

Steve remained looking into Natasha’ eyes, everybody was sighing and smiling, Natasha tried her best to not let be touched by Steve’s words, but she was smilling, her only option was to distract herself to not look so fool, she looked at Clint Barton and nodded.

Clint approached Natasha.

**C: Come with your favorite uncle.**

Clint took Nick from Natasha's lap, but he started to cry right away.

Bobbi smiled to see Clint with baby Nick, she approached him and leaned her hand on his shoulder, and her chin on her hand, to watch Nick.

**Bobbi: I love you with kids!**

Bobbi gave a peck on Clint’s lips and Laura was watching and she felt weird watching that scene, so she went back to the kitchen.

Clint looked at Bobbi.

**C: So why don’t you give me one?**

Bobbi frowned.

**Bobbi: This talk again? I can’t have kids, you know that.**

**C: Yes, you can.**

**Bobbi: I can not.**

**C: You can, Barbara Morse.**

**Bobbi: I can, but I don’t want to. Why do you want kids? Just enjoy Nat’s kids, then we can go back to our own lives without worring about babies… God! It’s so much better this way…**

Bobbi rolled her eyes. Nick was still crying.

**Bobbi: Come with Auntie Bobbi, Nick. Uncle Clint is ugly and scary, right baby?**

Bobbi picked Nick who cried even more.

**Sam: Oh God, guys, no, let this with me! Sarah and James loves me, so…**

Sam picked Nick and he didn’t stop crying.

**Tony: May I try?**

**N: No!** **Guys... what are you doing?** **You’re scaring him.**

Natasha picked Nick.

**N: Come with me, Nick.**

Natasha tried to rock Nick, but this time even she couldn’t calm him down, Nick just screamed, so Natasha looked at Steve for help.

Steve handed Lindsay on Bucky's lap and went to get Nick. Steve was trying to push Sarah away, but she grabbed his legs and remained glued to him as he walked to Natasha.

**Sarah: Daddy! Daddy!**

**S: Sarah, wait a little.**

**Sarah: No!**

**S: Sarah, please. He is crying.**

Sarah was reluctant, but Steve removed her from him anyway. Sarah frowned outraged and she could start screaming and crying if she wanted to, but Clint tickled her to distract her and took her to show something at the window.

Steve took Nick in his lap, but it didn’t help because he continued to cry.

**S: Maybe he's hungry, Nat.**

Natasha was worried.

**Pepper: It's hungry, for sure.**

Natasha sat down at the dining table chair and reached out for Nick, but Steve didn’t deliver him.

**S: Don’t you want to do that upstairs?**

**N: No, he's hungry, I'm going to breastfeed now.**

Natasha answered with a serious face.

**S: I think you might...**

**N: What? Steve! Are you kidding me?**

Steve handed Nick to Natasha's lap and when she was going to lower the top of her blouse, Steve took her hand.

**S: Wait, please.**

Steve went over to the twin bag and picked up a blanket, he covered Natasha from the neck down, Natasha frowned, looking at Steve.

**N: Jesus Christ, seriously, Steve?**

**S: It's to protect him!**

Natasha became irritated and rolled her eyes.

**T: Oh, that’s too bad.**

Pepper nudged Tony with a strong elbow.

**T: OUCH!!!**

**Pepper: Not even a woman who has just given birth, you respect!**

**T: I was just curious, that's all!**

Tony justified his joke.

**N: Steve?**

Natasha stared at Steve and he looked at her.

**N: He's not picking. He does not want to nurse.**

Nick was still crying.

**N: I don’t know why he is cryng that much, I’m worried.**

**S: Should we go back to the hospital?**

**N: I think so.**

Fury approached them without patience.

**F: Hospital for what? Are you a first-time parents? For God’s sake Excuse me.**

Fury removed the blanket from Natasha, so he could get Nick, Steve stood in front of Tony who was still trying to spy, but Natasha had already covered herself.

Nick Fury put Nick on his lap and patted Nick on the back, who cried a few more seconds and then stopped.

Everyone was amazed.

**T: OH MY GOD! DID HE KILL THE BABY???**

Tony exclaimed.

**N: Fury...**

Natasha frowned and got up to see the miracle. Nick was too calm now.

Nick raised his eyebrow.

**N: He really did it!**

**S: I did not expect that.**

**N: Fury, do you want to sleep here tonight?**

**C: Nick Fury with child-care talent, who would imagine that.**

**F: You nursed him already, you have to put him up on your lap so he can burp. You don’t remember, Natasha, but Steve?**

**S: Sorry, I completely forgot, it's already so many years.**

**F: Well, I need to go. Hill, I need you to come with me.**

Thor approached the group and looked at Maria Hill.

**Thor: And I need to talk to Maria Hill also, so me and Torunn are leaving now, come on Torunn.**

Fury put Nick on Natasha's lap again and left with Maria Hill, Thor and Torunn.

**Sharon: Guys, not wanting to be boring but they're newborns and we can’t stay that long here.**

**Carol: True, plus Steve and Natasha must be super exhausted.**

**Jess: Let's go then, but we're off. We should go somewhere.**

**C: I suggest we go to a bar!**

**Sharon: It's still noon.**

**C: Better yet. Let’s go.**

**Sam: I want to stay with the babies.**

**S: We really need some help.**

**C: Then we'll go and see you later.**

Everyone was leaving the Rogers' house.

**S: Bucky?**

Bucky was already at the door and looked at Steve, Natasha also looked at him and he looked at her for a few seconds and turned aside to not disrespect Steve.

**S: I need to talk to you and Sam for a minute, can you stay a little longer?**

**B: Hum… yeah.**

Bucky and Sam remained in the room.

**N: Should I leave?**

Natasha asked Steve.

**S: Yes, please.**

**N: Okay...**

Natasha got up and asked Laura to pick up Lindsay and help her put the babies in the crib upstairs. Natasha asldo called James and Sarah to come along, and they all weant and left Steve alone with Bucky and Sam.

Steve walked over to the couch and asked the two of them to sit down.

**S: I know I've been a little distant lately, I haven’t been a good friend.**

**B: You're always a good friend, Steve.**

**Sam: Yeah and you were about to have babies, then the babies got stuck in the hospital… so it’s normal. You’re still a good friend to us, tho.**

**S: You too are, and I consider myself a lucky man to have you both as my closest friends.**

**Sam: I'm going to cry here, man. Are you sick? ARE YOU DYING???**

Steve smiled and shook his head.

**S: No, I’m not, but I've decided….**

Steve sighed preparing himself to say what he had to say.

**S: I can’t be an Avenger anymore. I can’t be the captain America anymore.**

Bucky and Sam frowned..

**B: Will you act alone?**

**S: I don’t know, but the Avengers can not be without a Captain America.**

**Sam: No, no, man, don’t do that!**

**S: It has to be one of you… to replace me…**

**Sam: I'm sorry, dude, I can’t. It's a great honor that you thought about me, but I'm good like Falcon, I mean who can replace me? No one. So...**

Steve laughed at Sam and looked at Bucky.

**S: So, what about you?**

**B: They will not accept it.**

**S: Yes they will, because I want to.**

**B: I don’t think so.**

**S: Trust me.**

**B: Are you sure you wanna do this?**

**S: I’ve decided a long time ago, but… I dindn’t find the proper time for that, but now I have four kids to take care of, they need me, I want to be her, I want to enjoy every second with them.**

Bucky nodded and sighed.

**B: No one would do your job as you… but I promise I’ll give my best.**

**S: That’s all I am asking… I trust you, Bucky!**

Steve smiled and Bucky smiled back.

Steve, Sam and Bucky continued to talk about life, kids and the avengers for almost one hour, but the babies started to cry and they know Steve needs to help Natasha and Laura.

**Sam: Your new job calls you.**

Sam and Bucky stood up. So did Steve, and he shook their hands.

**S: Thanks for the surprise. I see you at the end of the week.**

Sam and Bucky walked to the door to leave, Steve went up the stairs and saw Natasha coming down the stairs and he stopped. Natasha looked at Steve and then at Bucky.

**N: I need to talk to you.**

Bucky was paralyzed because he no longer wants to be a toy in Natasha's hand, and he does not want to disrespect Steve's house with him being there.

Natasha came down and laid her hand on Steve's that was on the banister, she looked into Steve's eyes and noticed jealousy.

**N: Steve, can you help Laura up there?**

**S: Huh, yeah I'll just wait you talk...**

**N: Actually, I need to talk to him alone.**

Steve didn’t answer, he was silent. Bucky stood still, paralyzed, not knowing what to do. Sam was also speechless and awkward.

**Sam: I... I'm going to wait for you in the car, Bucky.**

Steve looked at Bucky and then at Natasha, he sighed and went upstairs to help Laura with the babies.

Natasha waited for Steve to go up stairs and she looked at Bucky as she indicated the couch so the two could sit down. Natasha sat up, but Bucky got to his feet.

**N: You can sit down, James.**

**B: I'm fine.**

Natasha sighed

**N: Fine!**

Natasha got a bit annoyed for Bucky’s way of acting next to her, but she is trying to break the ice, so she decided to start again.

**N: James... It's so strange to call you as I call my son.**

Natasha smiled trying to break the ice, but it didn’t help much.

**B: Natasha, I can’t do this. Steve's up there.**

**N: You can’t do what, Barnes? I’m not going to kiss you, not even flirt with you, but can we talk like two civilized adults?**

**B: I don’t think so.**

Bucky was cold and Natasha sighed again, she does not have much patience, but she’s trying her best.

**N: James, don’t do this. Don’t act like that, I know I deserve it because I played with you... I… didn’t care, I was totally the old me… that’s how I remember to be.**

**B: You talk like it's nothing.**

**N: No, I tell the truth and the truth hurts! I know... You knew I was just flirting with you, it wasn’t about feelings... I’m sure you knew that from the beginning.**

**B: I did, but from my part it was about feelings.**

Bucky looked at the stairs, afraid that Steve might be listening.

**N: Don’t worry, he's your friend, if you have feelings for me, you should tell him.**

**B: He knows that.**

**N: Then why are you afraid?**

**B: Because my friendship with him is more important than hanging out with you.**

**N: You mean that your friendship is more important than the love you feel for me.**

**B: I don’t love you.**

**N: You don’t?**

**B: No, Natasha.**

**N: Okay.**

**B: It's not as strong as it used to be.**

**N: You're mad at me, I understand, but we have something in common that will always put us close to each other.**

**B: You really back together with him.**

**N: He doesn’t want me back… or he’s trying to not want me, but I will insist until he changes his mind.**

Natasha talked with honesty and firmly, she never had so much sure about something in her life before.

**B: Wow. That's impressive, you look like the Natasha from before the crash... Determined to fight for Steve, I told you how different you are.**

**N: I am.**

Bucky was silenced by Natasha's sincerity, it hurt him to see that she didn’t hesitate for him now, as she didn’t hesitate before the accident. She loves him, she loves him again or she never stopped to love him.

Natasha sighed once again.

**N: James, I just… I want to apologize with you, I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I just can’t stop you from hating me, and I don’t want Steve to feel bad every time we're in the same place, so I'm asking you to ignore that you hate me when we're with Steve, I don’t want anything to get in the way.**

**B: So, I mess up things for you and Steve now? I can disappear.**

**N: That's not what I said, James! God! Don’t be like that! I’m getting angry and I’m trying here, I really am!**

**B: I know, but it hurts, Natasha. You know that once, you also said you loved me and then you managed to disappear and forget me, but I'm used to it… I'm just afraid of Steve, how long will you love him until you get tired of him and disappear too?**

**N: I don’t know.**

****

Natasha silenced herself and lowered her head, she thought for a few seconds and looked at Bucky again, that’s her mainly struggle to assume her love for Steve and she needed one whole year to decided that she really loves him and Bucky saying that broke her confidence in certain way.

**N: James…**

Natasha looked into Bucky’s eyes.

**N: You know me better than him, and maybe better than myself, so you tell me... Will I get tired of him? Do you believe that my love for him, it will end? You tell me and I will believe you…**

Bucky was confused, he wasn’t expecting for that question, he had to look away to think of an answer and by God, how much he wanted to say yes, she will tire of Steve in a while, but he doesn’t believe that. Bucky looked back at Natasha and shook his head.

**B: You love him. It’s real. I know that.**

****

Natasha almost smiled, but she respected the pain Barnes was feeling, she stood up.

**N: Will we ever be friends again?**

**B: Maybe.**

Natasha hugged Bucky, but he didn’t hug her back.

Steve needed to get diapers in the bag that had been in the living room and he only saw the moment that Natasha hugged Bucky, he froze on the stairs and squeezed the banister so hard that it was enough to knead the iron tubing.

Natasha let go of Bucky and he immediately went out and joined Sam to go away.

Steve came downstairs and Natasha looked at him.

**N: Are they okay?**

Natasha smiled at Steve, but he walked by her, grabbed the twin bag and went back up to the twins' bedroom, unfortunately Natasha doesn’t know that Steve saw the hug and much less that he interpreted the wrong way.


	59. A Moment of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone. I'm sorry but I have to give a spoiler about the major character death... certainly is Steve or Natasha, and the death will be on a Special Mission for Barack Obama... I had to tell you now, because my brazilian readers already knew that because I prevented them about it, so I have to tell you either, otherwise you won't understand the end of the story. So... that's it!

Natasha watched Steve walk past her, as if she was not even there, and she frowned. She is not dumb, she knows something is wrong. Or Steve was upset that she talked to Bucky alone or he saw the hug they had and he is already imagining things, although she doesn’t want to believe that, because she gave birthto his children only a few weeks ago, how could he think she would “cheat” on him? Cheating between quotes, because according to him, they are not together, so it wouldn’t be cheating, tho.

Natasha stood at the beginning of the stairs and she took three deep breaths before going up the stairs. Natasha was wondering if it was worth it to be offended by it and get angry at Steve, or if she should ignore or if she should even ask him what’s wrong and try to fix it.

Natasha preferred to swallow her pride, she went up the stairs and upon arriving in the twins' bedroom, Sarah was in the armchair, with Nick on her lap and Laura helping her to hold him.

**Sarah: Look, Mommy, he's my son now.**

Natasha smiled at Sarah.

**N: Just be careful.**

Natasha looked at Steve who was changing Lindsay's diaper next to the window. She approached him.

**N: Need help?**

**S: No.**

Steve said dryly.

**N: I'll get the powder for you.**

**S: No need, I already got it, you could have helped before, but you preferred to turn your attention to other things than your newborn children.**

Steve was jealous and angry, he said that already without thinking for real.

Natasha frowned and took a deep breath, releasing the air very slowly. Steve is now testing her patience limits, the best she can do at the moment is to back off or she will murder him.

Natasha left the room and James followed her.

**J: Mom?**

**N: Yes, James?**

**J: Can I stay with you?**

**N: Sure, but I'm going to get some sleep, do you want to sleep with me?**

James nodded and went into the bedroom with Natasha.

Steve finished changing Lindsay's diaper and Laura grabbed Nick from Sarah's lap and placed him in the crib.

**Sarah: Nah!!!**

**L: He's sleeping, don’t raise your voice, Sarah.**

**S: You'll pick him again later, okay?**

**Sarah: Can I get her a little bit?**

**S: Not today, Sarah. Tomorrow after the bath she will be without the equipment for a bit, then you can hold her a little.**

**L: Do you need help with her, Steve?**

**S: No, I got it, Laura. By the way if you want to take the day off…**

**L: With two babies here? No way! You're going to need all the help. Even because putting this redhead little girl here to shower and sleep, is not an easy task, and neither is James.**

**S: Thank you, Laura, I appreciate so much everything you’ve been doing.**

**L: I'll leave at night, but I'll be back in the early morning to take the kids to school.**

**Sarah: But my daddy is back, he's going to take me to school.**

**S: Sarah, I can’t take you to school yet.**

**L: I'll prepare a snack now, will you help me, Sarah?**

**Sarah: Come on, Daddy.**

**S: Daddy has to stay with the babies, Sarah.**

**Sarah: But you've stayed with them a lot already!**

**S: They can’t be alone when they are awake.**

**Sarah: It's not fair!**

**L: Sarah, how about we get you a quick snack so you can get back to your father very quick?**

Sarah nodded and walked down the stairs holding Laura's hand.

Steve took Lindsay in his lap and sat with her in the rocking chair, she spent almost twenty minutes awake, looking at Steve without crying, Steve was completely enchanted by his daughter and as always, being close to them makes him feel better about anything, even about the jealousy he felt from Natasha with Bucky.

Lindsay finally fell asleep, and Nick woke up already crying. Steve put Lindsay in the crib and went to Nick's crib and picked him up, rocking him lightly in his lap to try to calm him down. It wasn’t working, now could be hunger.

**S: Natasha?**

Steve called her, but not loudly so as not to wake Lindsay. James had just woken up and left Natasha's room and he heard his father calling Natasha. James opened the bedroom door.

**J: Dad, Mom is sleeping.**

**S: I think now he’s hungry. Stay here a minute, but don’t get her, if she wakes up, you call me.**

James nodded and it was as if Steve was relying on him again even after the incident with Sarah, James felt a huge weight on his shoulder of the responsibility of this task, although Lindsay had nowhere to run, he just didn’t want Steve to get angry at him again.

Steve went to his bedroom and approached the bed, even though Nick's crying was strong, Natasha didn’t even move.

**S: Natasha?**

**N: Hmm?**

Natasha yawned and stretched out on the bed, not opening her eyes.

**S: I think he's hungry now.**

Natasha sighed and whispered something in Russian that Steve could not understand.

**S: Natasha!**

Natasha opened her eyes and was startled.

**S: I'm sorry, I know you're tired.**

**N: All right, give him to me.**

Natasha sat on the bed with her legs curled up and she leaned her back against the head of the bed, still yawning. Steve sat on the edge of the bed in front of Natasha and placed Nick on her lap.

**N: Shh... hush, hush, calm down, boy.**

Natasha lowered her shirt and put the baby to nurse, Steve didn’t take his eyes off Nick, even though he was still angry with Natasha, he didn’t want to lose any of his children.

Natasha looked at Steve and took advantage of the fact that now he wouldn’t scream to try to explain what happened earlier.

**N: Steve?**

Steve didn’t look at her.

**N: Do you want to know what I was talking to Bucky?**

**S: I can’t call that, a conversation.**

**N: That? What?**

**S: You know, Natasha.**

**N: No, I don’t know. What did I do wrong?**

Steve looked at Natasha and she looked confused, hoping he'd say what was wrong.

**S: I saw you two together.**

**N: Yes, we were together in our living room. Doing what?**

**S: I don’t know, I don’t want to know.**

Steve shrugged.

**N: Of course you want to know, Steve… You saw a hug. That’s what you saw. Only a hug!**

Steve looked away, still feeling very angry. Natasha reached out to hold Steve's face and make him look at her.

 **N: Look at me! I'm telling the truth, it was a hug, nothing more. I** **can’t do anything now, I had two babies at once, I would never do anything to disrespect you here in your house, even more with y kids around, after giving birth to two of your children. How can you even think that bad of me?**

Steve sighed and shook his head.

**N: You might not trust me, but don’t you trust your friend? Would he do that to you?**

Steve was tense, he looked down and he lowered his head, he knew that Bucky would never do that to him for as much as he also had feelings for Natasha, he wouldn’t do it.

Natasha felt a small pain in her chest because Steve doesn’t hesitate to show trust in his friend, but with her... And she understands that she gave reasons for it in a way, but still, it hurts a lot.

**N: I was telling him that we had to find a way to get along well, since we have something in common that we love.**

Steve looked at Natasha with a look of surprise. Natasha nodded.

**N: I do, Steve.** **I love you.**

Steve was in shock, Natasha never says I love you, unless it's in extremely special situations, this even before the accident. Despite being all he wanted to hear, he still has a battle between his brain and his heart, he can’t let himself be dominated.

**S: You said you didn’t know...**

**N: Yes, I wasn’t sure before but now I know it's love, what I don’t know yet is whether it will last... like forever, I’m always changing.**

**S: You used to always says that.**

**N: Good! So, I'm still the same, I still have doubts, but your friend... who also knows me very well… he said he believes that my love for you it will not end, he believes in my love and you don’t and it hurts…**

**S: I'm sorry, that's not my intention.**

**N: I just hope someday you'll believe me.**

**J: MOM! DAD! COME HERE, QUICKLY!**

Natasha and Steve looked at each other in a frightened way because James was screamin, so Steve ran to the twins’ room and Natasha arrived shortly afterwards, holding Nicholas in her arms.

Steve first looked at Lindsay in the crib and she was still asleep, nothing seemed wrong, so he looked at James.

**S: James?**

**J: D-d-dad… she… she turned to the side and… and that thing came out of her nose!**

James was stammering because he was scared, and he didn’t know wheter Steve would blame him or not.

Steve approached the crib to check Lindsay and he noticed that her equipment had moved out, but he placed it back.

Natasha was startled yet, she was shaking.

**N: I almost died!**

**S: James, you scared us.**

Steve looked at James

**J: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Dad. She moved, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t do anything.**

James was pale and shaken too, and it hadn’t been a big deal either, because the device can be removed from time to time, but James didn’t know that, he just remembered the day that Sarah almost had a car crush and Steve blamed him, he will never forget that.

Steve sighed.

**S: James it’s all right, it's normal for the device to come out when she moves, it was not your fault.**

Steve saw James begin to cry.

**S: You don’t have to cry, she's fine, c’mon…**

Steve crouched next to James and put a hand on his arm to calm him.

**S: James you did the right thing… you called me. We thought there had been some major tragedy and we were scared, so we came in here like this.**

Steve pulled James and hugged him.

James laid his head on Steve's shoulder, who stood with him like this for a long time. Despite being the oldest, he is still a child and misses all the attention and love that Sarah and the twins receive all the time.

**S: Laura made a snack, let's eat?**

James didn’t answer, he was still nervous.

Steve looked at Natasha.

**S: Can you stay here?**

**N: Yeah…. Go… spend some time with them down there, Steve. I'll call you if I need to.**

**S: Okay.**

Steve came down with James and Laura and Sarah were finishing putting the donuts they had prepared on the table. Sarah looked at James on Steve's lap and made a serious expression.

**Sarah: He's too big for your lap!**

**S: No problem, you too are big for laps and I still get you, right?**

**Sarah: Yeah, but you don’t get me any more.**

Sarah lowered her head.

**S: It's not true, you were on my lap today.**

Steve reached down and extended his arm to Sarah.

**S: There's still room for one more, who's coming?**

Sarah was hurt and looked away, ignoring Steve. Laura came back from the kitchen with a jug of juice and looked at the scene.

**L: Look, I'll get your lap, since you don’t want to.**

Laura pretended to go to Steve to sit on his lap, but Sarah ran by her and jumped on Steve, who grabbed her by the waist.

**Sarah: No, Laura, my daddy! Not yours.**

**L: Oh, okay then, I'll stay on my chair, then.**

**S: That smells good, who did it?**

**Sarah: I did it!**

**J: Liar!**

**Sarah: I did, I did. Right, Laura?**

**L: Yes and she still helped to make the juice.**

**J: Why didn’t you call me?**

**L: Because you were sleeping, but tomorrow it's your turn to help me.**

James smiled. Steve sat down on the dining-table chair, and left James on one leg and Sarah on the other leg, so they wouldn’t fight, but they are big, so they ended up bumping on each other.

**Sarah: Ouch! You don’t fit here, leave!**

**J: You leave, I was here first!**

**Sarah: But he's my dad.**

**J: Mine too.**

**S: Okay, Okay... Let's do this, the two of you will sit on the chair.**

**Sarah: Nooo.**

**S: I want to eat too, can I?**

James was the first to leave Steve's lap and sit down at the table. Sarah didn’t leave and still laughed at James who left.

**Sarah: Loser!**

**S: I'll get you out if you keep doing this.**

**Sarah: I'm sorry, Daddy, I’ll be quiet.**

**S: Laura, please, sit down and serve yourself.**

Steve, James and Sarah took each one, a donut to eat.

**L: Natasha is not coming?**

**S: She's with the twins.**

**L: So I'm going up to help while you eat.**

Laura went upstairs and entered the the twins' bedroom and Natasha had just placed Nick back into the crib.

**L: Are the stitches hurting a lot?**

**N: Stitches?**

**L: Was it not cesarian?**

**N: Yes, but I've already taken it out a few days ago.**

**L: The doctors were fast.**

**N: Actually, they don’t know, I took it myself.**

Natasha lifted her shirt and showed Laura.

**L: Wow, I can’t barely see it.**

**N: I recover faster.**

**L: Look, I made some donuts for you eat.**

**N: I know, I can smell it. Seems good.**

**L: You can go down and I will stay with them.**

**N: Sure?**

**L: Yes, I'm used to babies.**

**N: Okay.**

Natasha glanced over at the twins and then she came down the stairs.

**J: Mom! Sit here on my side!**

James screamed when he saw Natasha.

**Sarah: No, my side!**

Sarah also asked.

**J: My!**

**Sarah: My, my, my, my....**

**J: My, my, my, my.**

**N: OH MY GOD, ENOUGH!!!**

Natasha went to the table and sat down next to James, Sarah was upset and Natasha looked at her.

**N: You're already on your daddy's lap, so I'm going to be near James, or are you going to get out of there and sit on the chair like a lady?**

Sarah hugged Steve's neck and shook her head.

**S: Taste this.**

Steve handed the plate to Natasha, she took a donut and tasted it.

**N: It's delicious.**

**S: Your daughter did.**

Natasha looked at Sarah, smiling and showing surprise.

**Sarah: And the juice, drink, drink, drink, mommy!**

...

Steve and Natasha managed to spend one hour straight with the children, without the twins starting to cry.

Lindsay was the one who woke up hungry and Natasha let Steve stay with the kids and she went up to nurse Lindsay.

**N: Can you do me a favor, Laura?**

**L: Of course.**

**N: Fill her tub for me, please. I'm going to give her a shower while you're here, because Steve's will help me here and you stay with the kids downstairs.**

**L: Alright.**

Laura went to the bathroom and returned ten minutes later with the tub of warm water, she left it on a bench specially made to bathe the babies.

**N: She's hungry today, that's good, isn’t it?**

**L: Yes, she will get stronger.**

Natasha smiled, looking at Lindsay.

At the end of the day, Laura said good-bye and went home. Steve and Natasha took turns to stay with the twins and pay attention to James and Sarah as well, at the end of the day, Steve and Natasha, although exhausted, were still able to put Sarah and James in bed.

After making Sarah and James sleep, Steve and Natasha left their room and they leaneg against the wall of the hall and sighed, then they look at each other.

**N: Silence, finally.**

**S: Sh... Let's enjoy this, please.**

It lasted only five minutes, the twins began to cry. Natasha and Steve looked at each other and both looked desperate.

**N: It will be like this every day, right?**

Steve smiled and nodded.

**N: Come on.**

Natasha and Steve went upstairs to the twins' bedroom, they heard the crying through the electronic babysitter, set up in every room, except in James and Sarah's bedroom.

**S: Do you want to change Lily or Nick?**

**N: Nick, less laborious.**

**S: Did you hear that, Lily? Your mother thinks you give work.**

**N: I did not say that.**

Natasha took off Nick's dirty diaper and threw it at Steve.

**S: Oh, is that how it is? Here.**

Steve poured talcum powder on Natasha and Natasha gaped.

**N: Oh no, you're not initiating this war!**

**S: No, no, you're babysitting, you’re a mother, don’t make that face of revenge.**

**N: I'm vindictive indeed and if I don’t take revenge now, I'll go in the future. It's a promise, Rogers.**

**S: Don’t be like your mother, Lily.**

**N: Shut up!**

They both laughed, then they finish changing the babies diapers, then they put the babies to sleep.

As they left the twins' room, Steve stretched.

**S: I need a shower.**

**N: I need to sleep.**

The two of them entered the room, Steve separated come clothes to wear, then took the towel and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him, without unlocking it.

While Steve initiates his shower, Natasha was fixing the bedding and pillows on the bed, she heard the sound of the shower water falling and looked at the bathroom door.

Natasha tied her hair and took off all her clothes as she walked to the bathroom, she opened the door and Steve was showering, but staring at the wall but he turned when he listened the door being open.

Steve gasped and looked at Natasha, specifically from her head to her toes and back to her head and back to her toes, he did that at least three times and he ended up letting the soap fall to the floor.

**N: I need to sleep, but I need a shower first.**

Natasha stated and nodded, she closed the bathroom door behind her and walked slowly to the shower area, she opened the glass box door and came in.

Steve wasn’t reasoning, he didn’t move one muscle… okay, he did move one muscle and it was unvoluntary, he just got hard and up by himself, while his eyes were still paying attention to Natasha's body.

Steve just moved, when Natasha took a step toward him, which made him step back

**S: Natasha... What are you doing? You know you can’t.**

**N: Yes, I can.**

**S: No, and neither do I, you had babies a few weeks ago and remember our agreement?**

**N: I don’t remember, remind me, plase.**

Steve was already with his back leaning against the wall, because Natasha was still coming for him, till she pressed her whole body against Steve's and she felt Steve's cock complete stiff against her belly..

**S: N-Nat...**

**N: Sh...it’s Okay.**

Natasha placed a hand on Steve's thigh and dragged her nails lightly up Steve's thigh, climbing up to Steve's groin, which made him bend over and try to push Natasha away.

**S: Don’t do this, I can’t resist, you know that.**

**N: The twins came out from my belly and not from my vagina, Steve.**

**S: But you still must have to rest and recover.**

Natasha sighed and stopped sliding her hand, she stepped back.

**N: If we do like... pretty slow..**

**S: Natasha, I cant, I've been without sex for some time, I wouldn’ go slow.**

Natasha tried to hold back the laughter and bit her lower lip.

**N: Now you're just increasing my will and I think it's a little late now...**

Natasha looked at Steve's cock and then at him, Steve looked down and he was a bit embarrassed because his cock was too much erect.

**N: We can help each other here… c’mon, Rogers…**

Natasha raised one eyebrow and smirked.

**N: You want, I want either, so…**

**S: We can’t.**

**N: Oh my God!**

Natasha sighed, feeling frustrated, but she didn’t give up.

**N: Well, we have other ways to help ourselves, without… you know… penetration…**

Steve didn’t understand, so Natasha rolled her eyes and looked down and then at Steve, he finally seemed to have understood. Natasha raised her eyebrow.

**N: So... You or me first?**

Steve walked over to Natasha, hugged her waist and made her body turn and leane against the glass of the box.

**S: Ladies first.**

**N: Oh… alright, but not here.**

Natasha almost couldn’t move with the force that Steve was holding her waist, she could feel how hard his cock was now and she wished he would forgot that she had given birth, because she wants him inside her very bad.

Natasha put her hand over Steve’s and removed it from her body, otherwise she would not walk, she walked to the wall and pressed her back against it, Natasha moved one leg away from the other and stared at Steve’s eyes, she smirked again.

**N: I don’t want to break the glass and ended up in a hospital…**

Natasha clarified why she moved to the wall.

Steve smiled and went back to Natasha, he kissed Natasha's neck, and then he kissed her lips and then her neck again and nibbled on the length of it, Steve grunted every time Natasha let out a small moan and she thought it was a bit funny, which even made her let out some fake moans just to see Steve's reactions, the poor man was desperate.

**N: Are you sure you don’t want to go first?**

**S: I can handle it, don’t worry.**

**N: Alright, then…**

Steve nipped Natasha's neck and traced kisses down her cleavage and between her breasts, he nibbled on the base of Natasha's breast and he would bit her nipple but Natasha grabbed his shoulders and pushed him a bit.

Steve stared her eyes.

**N: No.**

Natasha shook her head.

**S: I know.**

Steve immediately kissed the area he had bitten and still decided to do the same on the other breast, he had to bend over to face Natasha's breasts, he gave little hickeys through Natasha's breast and then he glued his lips on her nipple which made Natasha move his head away from her.

**N: What are you doing???**

Steve raised his hands in the air and shrugged his shoulders, completely confused, not knowing what he did wrong.

**S: I wasn’t going to bite.**

****

**N: It's not that, you can’t suck there, I'm nursing, Steve.**

**S: Oh. I don’t care.**

**N: Oh God!**

Natasha made a disgusting expression.

**N: I care and I'll lose all my sex desires if any milk leaks. Can you get ahead and just...**

Natasha put her hands on Steve's shoulders and pulled them down making him kneel on the bathroom floor, Steve looked up to look into Natasha's eyes.

**S: But I... I miss them.**

Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes.

**N: Okay, Rogers, you can lick, just don’t suck anything or it will be a disaster.**

Steve nodded and Natasha slipped on the wall a little lower, Steve kissed Natasha's belly and kissed each of Natasha's nipples and ran the tip of his tongue through them, sliding to the base and back to the nipple again. Natasha was trying to control her breathing, because she always forgets to breathe when Steve looks like he's going to devour her alive.

As Steve stroked Natasha's breasts with his mouth, he slid his hand through Natasha's tighs, then he slipped his fingers up, till reach her groin, then her opening and he let two fingers slide over Natasha's clit to stroke it while he still playing with her nipples.

Steve could feel Natasha’s body tremble every time he intensified the movements. Natasha threw her head back and leaned against the wall, letting out low moans, Steve wanted to continue seeing the expressions of pleasure on Natasha's face and he stood up completely, but without removing his hand from her intimate part.

Steve looked at Natasha's mouth moving to get a better breath, then he looked at Natasha's cheekbones, completely red, just as her ear and neck. She looked beautiful with the expressions of pleasure she made, Steve couldn’t resist her lips, he placed Natasha's bottom lip between his and sucked it hard, which made him press his hand against Natasha's clit with much more strenght and quickly, Natasha had to lift her body further and stood almost on tiptoe, she placed her hand over Steve's wrist and controlled his movements to slow down.

Steve continued to kiss Natasha’s lips, his tongue couldn’t get enough of her tongue and he was already out of breath, he could feel his breath failing and all that fight for breathing of him and of her, only intensified the pleasure they were both feeling.

Natasha didn’t hold out for long, she was cuming now and she moved her hip back and forth, moaning with her mouth glued to Steve's.

Although Steve didn’t know if he could or not, he inserted his fingers into Natasha's opening, making her drop his mouth and moan even more, she laid her lips against Steve's shoulder and pulled his body into hers, hugging him, while Steve slowly slid his fingers inside her further.

Natasha bit Steve's shoulder as he made the reverse movement and removed his fingers from inside her. Steve was already kneading Natasha's body against the wall.

**S: I don’t think I can resist.**

**N: I said you should go first.**

**S: Should we stop?**

**N: Only if you want to die...**

Natasha threatened Steve, then she placed her hand between her and Steve's body, Natasha slid her hand down, till reach Steve's cock and when she did that, Steve hit the wall and grunted, completely red.

Natasha stroked Steve's cock and stood on tiptoe to try to fit him inside her, but Steve shook his head and struggled to move his hips away from her body a little bit.

**N: Steve, it's okay. Trust me.**

Steve was afraid of going too fast or too hard, he wanted to stop, but Natasha had already dominated him. She put her arms around Steve's neck and hung on him, Steve lifted one of Natasha's thighs, and then he slid her body down a bit, placing her opening on his cock.

Natasha whispered something in Russian, which always provokes Steve even more, yet he doesn’t understand anything she said, but it didn’t matter now, he was concentrating on not going too hard, he barely moved, so Natasha was the one making all the job, she was using Steve’s neck as support to be able to execute the movements.

Natasha had to kiss Steve for him to wake up and work out and when he woke, he grabbed her other leg and lifted her completely, he turned his body and carried hers along, leaning her back against the glass of the box.

Steve moved Natasha up and down on his cock, and he was still taking easy, but after a few minutes he found himself moving her body with much more intensity, which made Natasha cum right away again.

Natasha looked at the bar of the box glass and she noticed how the pieces that held the box were shaking, she knew that would break, so she threw herself over Steve to prevent the box from breaking.

Natasha said some dirty things on Steve’s ears, she knew that he would be ready to cum after that and she was right, but he didn’t want to finish on her intimate part, he did something for her earlier and now he wants the same treatment, so he lifted Natasha’s body and placed her on the floor.

Natasha smirked because she knew what he was craving for, so she knelt, while staring his eyes in a provocative way. Steve closed hi eyes, then opened it to look back at Natasha, he started to rub his cock frantically and he started to groan louder and louder.

Natasha leaned her hands on Steve's legs and he grabbed her hair with one hand and with the other he placed his cock inside her mouth, groaning very loud as he was doing it.

**S: Nat…**

Steve called her name and hold her hair tighter. Natasha was enjoying all his actions and reactions, she allowed Steve to move his cock insed her mouth as he pleased and she was so horny by the way he was doing it that she had to touch herself as well.  

Natasha doesn’t remember seeing Steve so horny like that before, which also made her very, very horny as well and as she began to moan with pleasure, Steve came and it was a little too much and worse it was inside Natasha’s mouth and she doesn’t like when he finishes inside her mouth, she thought he woul take it off before cuming.

Natasha immediately jerked her mouth away and spat to the side.

**N: Dammit, Steve!**

**S: Sorry, I was going to warn you, b-but… I didn’t have time.**

**N: Oh God, I hate it.**

**S: I know, I know you hate, I'm so sorry. I couldn’t help myself.**

Natasha ran her hand over her tongue and got up to go to the shower and wash her mouth.

Steve was angryannoyed with Natasha's reaction.

**S: I want to understand why you don’t like it. You just said you love me.**

**N: What does love have to do with it?**

**S: Everything. I don’t mind eating you out.**

**N: I don’t mind of sucking your dick, Steve. I mind you cuming in my fucking mouth, you swallow mine because you want to and because you like it, I never asked you that.**

**S: Is that so, then?**

**N: Are you going to use this as a proof of love? You don’t have to eat my vajajay if you don’t want to. It's that simple.**

**S: But I love doing you like that and you don’t love doing the same for me.**

**N: Oh God…**

Natasha sighed.

**N: You like to eat me. How nice! Great! I love it when you eat me too, so... Why are we fighting?**

**S: Forget it, Natasha.**

Steve opened the door to the stof the box and took the towel. Natasha rolled her eyes.

**N: Really, Steve? We’re are goint to fight about oral sex now?**

**S: I'm not fighting.**

Steve said dryly as he dried his body. He put on his shorts and left the bathroom. Natasha still remained in the bathroom to shower and let Steve cool his head and so did she.

After half an hour, Natasha came out of the bath, wiping her hair on the towel, she looked at Steve who clearly pretended to be asleep. Natasha put the towel on the chair and climbed on the bed, she lay over Steve's body.

**S: I want to sleep.**

Steve announced without opening his eyes.

**N: I want to talk.**

Natasha pressed her nose to Steve's face and bit his cheek lightly.

**S: Tomorrow.**

**N: No, now. Steve? Steve?**

Natasha kissed Steve's cheek and ear, she blew his ear, but he didn’t even move. Natasha put her pinkie inside Steve's ear and now he turned nervously, Natasha laughed as Steve sat down, holding her body and tossing her onto the bed beside him.

Natasha pretended to have hit the bed badly when he threw her and she made a pained expression. Steve's heart froze.

**S: Natasha?**

Natasha couldn’t hold back the laughter, Steve frowned angrily.

**S: That's not funny.**

**N: If you could watched your face… you look so beautiful when you're angry.**

**S: Yeah, right.**

Steve lay down again and Natasha threw her leg over Steve's body, she reached up to the back of Steve's neck and stroked lightly.

**N: I'll do what you want next time.**

****

Steve looked at Natasha and then at the ceiling of the room, he sighed and then looked at Natasha again.

**S: No need. I was just annoyed by your reaction.**

**N: I promise to fake it next time.**

**S: I don’t want you to fake anything.**

**N: So accept me and my limits… it's not that I don’t love giving you pleasure, I love it, I really do, but I just don’t like how it ends, I mean I don’t like when it ends in my mouth… but this has nothing to do with how I feel about you.**

**S: I know.**

Natasha moved her whole body up to Steve again and she gave him a long kiss.

Natasha moved her lips away and stared into Steve’s eyes, he looked back at her.

**N: Are we okay?**

Steve nodded.

**N: So, let's go to sleep while we can.**

The two closed their eyes for only one hour, because the twins began to cry, Natasha almost cried as well.

...

The next day, Laura came to get James and Sarah to school, and she takes advantage of the time that the kids are at the School, to deal with her personal issues or just to rest.

As soon as Laura left the kids at school, she walked on the sidewalk and Clint was in the car waiting for her, he honked and Laura recognized him from a distance and approached the car.

**Laura: Should I call the police?**

**C: I think so, apparently there's a guy stalking you, although he's hot, he can be dangerous.**

Laura laughed and shook her head.

**L: Is not there a world for you to save today?**

**C: Nar... Never make today what you can do tomorrow. That's my motto. Come on, get in.**

**L: No.**

**C: Why not?**

**L: You have a girlfriend.**

**C: True, but will you kiss me?**

**L: Of course not!**

**C: Then why are you worried?**

**L: I can’t, I shouldn’t.**

**C: Let me pay you a milkshake, c’mon... I want to get to know you better.**

**L: Why?**

**C: I don’t know, I just want to.**

Laura sighed and strangely she couldn’t say no to Clint.

**L: There's a dinnet right there.**

Clint looked where Laura indicated and turned off the car, then he walked along with Laura to the diner and they were received and attended by Elisa.

**C: Hey… I know you… weren’t you with Steve at my party?**

**E: Yes. We were like… having something at that time, but it's past now.**

**C: Oh… sorry.**

**E: No need to worry, I'm getting to know a friend of him now, he’s very gentle.**

**C: Who?**

**E: His name is James, he has a metal arm.**

**C: Oh, really?**

**E: How's Steve, by the way? I heard that the babies were born.**

**C: They're beautiful, everybody is fine.**

**E: I'll visit them when they’re bigger. Excuse me, I'll be right back with your requests.**

...

By mid-afternoon, Laura had already brought the kids home. Sarah and James were in the living room with Steve. Laura was in the twins' bedroom with Natasha.

**N: Call Steve, please.**

Laura went down to the living room and Steve was helping the kids do their homework.

**L: Natasha is calling you upstairs.**

**Sarah: Oh Daddy! You’re helping us!**

**S: I'm going back, Sarah.**

Steve got up and Laura stayed with Sarah and James in the living room.

Natasha looked at Steve at the bedroom door.

**N: She's nursing a lot today.**

**S: That's good.**

**N: Let's give them a bath while Laura is there to stay with the kids.**

**S: I'll get some water.**

**N: No, Laura already left everything ready here.**

Natasha waited a few more minutes until Lindsay stopped breastfeeding and as soon as she stopped, she had a very red face and very fast breathing.

**N: Steve?**

Steve looked at Natasha, then at Lindsay.

**S: She looks tired, it's pretty normal, the doctor said that she would breathe through her mouth if her nose was clogged.**

**N: So shower Nick, let's wait for her to calm down.**

**S: Okay.**

Steve got Nick and Nick was still sleeping but Steve already has plenty of experience with bathing babies, so he took his clothes off and put him in the tub, holding him by his stomach and arm.

Nick woke up as soon as he felt the water and he began to cry.

Lindsay looked like she was going to cry to when she heard her brother cry, but the tiredness prevented her from crying properly, which made her get nervous and even more tired.

Natasha was observing Lindsay, so she stood up and rocked her a little bit, trying to calm her, but she wasn’t calming down and she still seemed very tired, like if she was running a marathon.

**N: Something is not right, Steve.**

Steve looked at Natasha and then at Lindsay.

**S: She'll calm down, put her up on your lap, as Fury did that day, I think she just wants to burp.**

Natasha put Lindsay on her lap as Steve saind and she patted her back so she would burp and maybe stop crying, but that didn’t help.

Natasha was extremely nervous, but she tried to look calm, since Steve was facing it naturally.

**N: Steve?**

Natasha called Steve again.

**N: Steve, I… I think she's not well.**

**S: What do you mean?**

**N: She’s not crying loud, she… she is just, I don’t know, I think she's trying and can’t.**

**S: Wait, hold on…**

Steve rinsed Nick quickly and wrapped him in the towel. After leaving the bath, Nicholas stopped crying, so he placed Nick inside his cribe and went to Natasha to see what was going on.

Natasha moved Lindsay away from her body to hand her to Steve and Natasha’s hand were shaking, when they saw Lindsay’s face they took a fright, because her face was becoming purple.

**N: Oh my God…**

Natasha’s voice failed and she felt her legs get weak, even her face was shaking now, she looked at Steve with despair.

**N: She is not… SHE’S NOT BREATHING, STEVE! SHE’S NOT BREATHING!**

****

Steve was out of reaction fro a few seconds, then her called Laura to come to help.

**N: Do something! Do something, Steve, please do something.**

Natasha was already crying, still shaking and holding Lindsay’s little body in the air, she didn’t want to hold her anymore, afraid she would worse the situation and also because she has no strength to keep standing any longer.

Steve rubbed his face.

**L: Guys, let's go to the hospital.**

Laura oriented since they weren’t reacting.

**N: Y-yes…**

**S: We don’t have time.**

**N: How come we don’t have time???**

Natasa was already yelling at Steve.

Sarah and James heard the screams and ran up the stairs in alarm.

**Sarah: Daddy?**

**L: Children, you have to go down and stay there.**

**J: What's happening?**

Laura pushed Sarah and James out of the room and led them down the stairs.

**S: Okay, give me her.**

Steve held out his arms to pick Lindsay and Natasha became protective.

**N: NO! Let's go to the hospital!**

**S: Natasha, she's choking now! She’s not breathing anymore, there is no time to go to the hospital.**

**N: W-what??**

**S: Just give me her!**

Steve was forced to take Lindsay from Natasha's arms because she wasn’t going to let him hold her. Steve ran to sit at the armchair with Lindsay and he felt terribly sick to see her daughter fighting for air to breathe.

Steve removed the device from Lindsay's nose, leaving Natasha furious.

**N: No!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???**

**S: Trust me.**

**N:  She can’t breath without that!**

**S: Nat, please! Just…**

Steve put Lindsay with her belly down on his knee, he used a few fingers to beat very lightly on her back, Natasha was watching very nervous yet.

Steve was also shaking but he didn’t give up, he turned Lindsay’s body again and he made a mouth-to-mouth breathing at her and also pressed two fingers against her chest, then he went back to do the mouth-to-mouth breathing and again pressed her chest.

One minute later, Steve and Natasha could hear Lindsay’s cry of despair.

Natasha fell to the floor, kneeling on it, she wasn’t breathing anymore, she just breathed after listening Lindsay’s crying.

**S: She's fine, Natasha. She’s alright...**

Natasha didn’t have the strength to react, she just shook her head as she cried wildly.

**S: She's breathing now.**

Steve hold Lindsay better, and her face was no longer blue, only red.

**S: We still need to go to the hospital, maybe this device was defective. You stay here.**

**N: No! I’ll go with her!**

**S: Are you sure? You’re too nervous.**

**N: Of course I am sure, I’m not leaving my baby.**

**S: Right…**

Steve asked Laura to finish wiping and dressing Nick. She left him ready to go and went down with Nick. Natasha couldn’t hold the babies yet, she wasn’t feeling safe.

Steve came down with Lindsay and put her at the seat car, he asked Laura to fold the strollers and put in the trunk of the car.

Sarah and James walked up to the sidewalk and they were still confused about what had happened. Steve put the babies inside the car, Natasha got into the passenger seat and Steve at the driver's, he looked at James and Sarah.

**S: We'll be right back.**

Steve started the car and headed for the hospital, while Sarah and James watched them leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay now it's obvious that Lindsay is the big loss that the Rogers will have to get along and be together "forever", forever I mean till one of them die also...


	60. The Chloe Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here comes the bride, here comes the bride... ♫  
> (if she says yes, tho)

**Laura: Let's go in, children?**

Laura took James and Sarah's hand and led them into the house. As they entered, Laura closed the door and noticed that both James and Sarah were very quiet.

**Sarah: What happened?**

**L: Your sister is a bit sick, but you don’t have to worry.**

**J: If she's okay, why did she have to go to the hospital?**

**Sarah: And why was Mommy crying? I don’t like it when she cries, I feel sad.**

**L: Because your mommy was nervous, it’s normal. We stay this way when someone we love feels bad, it's normal, okay? And, James, they're just going to the hospital to make sure she's okay.**

**J: Do you think Lindsay will be all right, then?**

**L: Yes, I think so. Now, why don’t you watch some TV?**

**Sarah: Daddy does not allow it before doing homework.**

**L: All right, I will not tell him. Come on, I'm going to prepare some delicious hot chocolate for us.**

Laura winked and the kids went to the couch to watch some cartoon.

...

Inside the car, Natasha would look back every minute to check if the babies were okay.

**S: Nat? Do you remember what Cho said? The babies can feel your tension, try to stay calm.**

**N: What do you think I am doing?? I'm trying!**

**S: I know you are trying, I'm just remembering.**

**N: She's fine now, isn’t she?**

Steve looked at her briefly and nodded.

Half an hour later, they arrived at the hospital, Cho received them her office.

**N: S-she, she was just nursing and suddenly she was not breathing anymore.**

Natasha explained the situation.

**S: I think the device didn’t work.**

Cho was listening to Lindsay's heartbeat and her breathing, Cho's face showed concern.

**N: What is it?**

**Cho: I'll ask for an X-ray.**

**N: What? Why?**

**Cho: To know if something is keeping her from breathing, her** breathing is still very weak and her heart is racing too fast.

**S: What does that mean?**

**Cho: Let's wait for the exam result. Stay here.**

Cho asked the nurse to led Lindsay's cradle to the examination room.

Natasha couldn’t sit still while she waited the exams results, she held Nick tight and rocked him more than usual.

**N: I will never forgive myself.**

**S: Forgive what?**

**N: About the sharp pains I felt when I was pregnant and I didn’t tell anyone.**

Natasha shook her head and walked around the room.

**N: I should have done something. I think that’s what caused that, it’s my fault. My fault. I’m so sorry.**

**S: Natasha, this will not help now.**

Steve and Natasha stayed almost one hour in Cho's office, waiting.

**N: Why they are taking so long, Steve?**

**S: I'll check.**

Steve got up to open the door, but Cho was coming back with the x-ray.

**N: Where's Lindsay?**

**Cho: She's in the room, getting oxygen to help her breathe better. We'll have to keep her here in the hospital.**

**N: Oh my God, what?**

Natasha almost fell to the floor, she just keep herself up because she was holding Nick.

Steve was so desperate as Natasha’s but he is more focused, so he seemed a bit calmer than her.

**S: Cho, what's going on?**

**Cho: Look...**

Cho displayed the image of Lindsay's X-ray on the display.

**Cho: That's Lindsay's heart.**

Cho showed another X-ray of another baby Lindsay's age.

**Cho: And that’s the normal size of a heart for her age.**

**S: Lindsay's bigger.**

****

**Cho: Yes.**

**N: What does that mean?**

**Cho: Her heart is very large, and it compresses her lungs, preventing her from breathing properly.**

**N: And the cure for it? Apply it now!**

**S: Is there a cure?**

**N: Of course there is!**

Natasha didn’t know, but she wants to believe that there is a cure, so she answered, then looked at Cho, expecting for her to confirm.

**Cho: There are ways to control that the heart doesn’t grow more than this, but it’s impossible to decrease the size of the heart, in extreme cases only transplant could save her life.**

**S: And how will her life be now?**

**Cho: Steve, I can’t lie to you, it will be difficult. She gets tired easier, loses her breath easier, and the risk of sudden death is high.**

**N: What???**

Natasha went from worried to the rage stage, as if Cho were guilty, just for telling what Lindsay has.

**Cho: I'd rather have Lindsay with us here in the hospital for at least a week, until she stabilizes, then she can go home, there's nothing we can do for her here that you can’t do at home.**

**S: Are you saying we can’t do anything to stop her from getting sick?**

Steve sighed and ran his hand over his face, now he is losing control of his emotions.

**N: I felt a pain in my belly… during the pregnancy, I didn’t warn Steve, neither you nor anyone else. I should...**

**Cho: Don’t punish yourself, Natasha. It has nothing to do with it. Look at Nick, he was on your belly too and he's perfectly healthy.**

**N: How can I live, knowing she can die at any moment?**

**Cho: My advice is not to live considering only this fact. We'll do our best to get Lindsay through that stage and grow strong enough to lead a normal life.**

**S: Do you think it's possible for her to have a normal life?**

**Cho: A normal life, yes, it is possible. Let's try to be positive.**

**S: So… one week is the time she needs to stay here to be safe?**

**Cho: That's right.**

**S: I think that’s... that’s okay… right, Nat?**

**N: I can’t choose, can I?**

**Cho: No.**

Nat closed her eyes and took a deep breath, Steve kissed Natasha's forehead, then hugged Natasha and Nick.

**S: I have faith, she will be all right. We are in this together.**

Natasha looked in Steve’s eyes and nodded.

**N: We'll stay here with her.**

**S: Nick can’t stay in the hospital.**

**Cho: Hospital is a place of illness, Natasha, it's better for him, to stay home.**

**N: I will not stay away from my daughter!**

**Cho: And you can stay away from your son, and James and Sarah? Listen, Natasha, you can stay if you want, but Nick is still nursing, you should go home and visit Lindsay whenever you can.**

**N: I can’t choose between them. You can’t ask me that!**

**S: It's not what she's asking for, Nat, it’s a suggestion, but I have an idead… when you're home, I'll be here with Lindsay, then we changed, you know? She will not be alone here.**

Natasha looked at Steve and felt confidence in his gaze, she nodded.

Cho: She's at room 403, you can go stay with her, any news, I'll call you.

Steve and Natasha went with Nick to Lindsay's room. As soon as they entered, they had a surprise to find another crib in the room and a woman beside the crib, looking like she had cried a lot. They didn’t know Lindsay would share the room with another baby, from another family, but it’s okay, it’s not because they are Avengers that they will demand exclusivity.

**S: Good afternoon.**

Steve complimented the woman, who looked at Steve and Natasha and nodded, but she couldn’t smile, she was terribly sad.

Natasha handed Nick over to Steve's lap and approached Lindsay's crib.

**N: Hi... She's awake.**

Natasha warned Steve, then she looked again at Lindsay.

**N: Mommy's here, Lilly.**

Steve approached the crib and looked at Lindsay.

**S: Hi, baby girl.**

**N: You scared us today.**

**S: We won’t leave you alone.**

**N: And please don’t leave Mom and Dad alone either, okay?**

Natasha thought she was going to cry as soon as she saw Lindsay, but she couldn’t, she wanted to make Lindsay feel good, so she was as calm as possible. She stroked Lindsay's hand and then kissed her little fingers.

**N: Please, my love.... you'll be fine and we'll go home soon.**

A man entered the room and was startled by the presence of Steve and Natasha.

**\- Sorry, I just came to see my daughter, I didn’t know that there would be more people in her.**

**S: It's alritght, it looks like we'll split the room.**

**\- No, we will not.**

The woman answered.

**\- We're here just because Dr. Cho improvised this space for our little Chloe, because the other collective rooms downstairs is already full and Chloe needs special care. Dr. Cho said that this room was temporary, he’s an individual room actually.**

**\- The truth is that we can’t pay for this room or this hospital and when we arrived here, Dr. Cho was kind enough to greet us even though we didn’t have any money, she said Chloe needs to be interned in a hospital, but the public hospitals are also full. She's going to let us stay here only tonight and I promise we won’t disturb you.**

**S: It's okay.**

**\- My name is John.**

John held out his hand to Steve, who set Nick on his lap to greet John.

**S: Steve Rogers.**

**\- We know that. We are big fans, we just are not in the mood to demonstrate how honored we are to meet you.**

**S: This is Natasha Romanoff.**

**\- We know. This is my wife Anne and that's our daughter Chloe.**

**\- How are you?**

Natasha nodded. John and Anne's daughter started to cry and Anne went to the crib to try to calm her down.

Steve looked at her and then at John.

**S: What happened to Chloe?**

**John: She has cancer. Terminal stage.**

**N: Really?**

Natasha was shocked because Chloe is so small… why things like that happens to babies?

**John: Yeah... We're just waiting for her...**

John seemed like he was going to cry, he cleared his throat.

**S: How long till that?**

**John: One month.**

Natasha looked at Chloe and she had the purplish color on her skin, then Natasha looked at Steve who was looking at her too. Natasha looked at Anne, sympathetic to their situation.

**N: I'm so sorry.**

**Anne: It’s all right...**

Anne said, her eyes watering already.

Natasha looked at Lindsay and felt her heart ache, she could only imagine herself in Anne's place, just waiting for her daughter to die and it was unbearable just to imagine the situation.

**John: Are they twins?**

**S: Yes.**

**John: What's wrong with her?**

**S: Lindsay... She had some complications at birth and it looks like her heart is bigger than normal, she can’t breathe at times, she also needs a device to help her breathe.**

**A: Oh, poor thing. I hope she recovers soon.**

**S: Thank you.**

Natasha looked at Anne and she couldn’t say anything, there were no words that would be of comfort for her and that makes her feel bad, because even in this situation, Anne tried to comfort them both.

**A: And the boy? What is his name?**

**S: Nicholas.**

**A: Same name of our eldest son that... that…**

Anne shook her head and began to cry. Her husband looked at Steve and Natasha.

**John: We lost him too, two years ago.**

Natasha frowned, now she was terrified. They lost one kid and now they are losing another. How can they still be alive? She wouldn’t survive that.

**A: By the same disease, you know.... I don’t know why this is still happening with us. Some punishment from God.**

**John: This is not punishment, Anne.**

**A: You don’t know that!**

**S: I'm really sorry.**

Chloe started to cry and Anne checked her diapers and noticed that she had peed, Anne prepared to change her diapers and John approached to help.

**A: Did you bring the cream?**

**John: I...**

**A: I knew it!**

**John: I came straight from work, Anne, I forgot.**

**A: I can never count on you for anything! Anythin! All I asked you to do, was to buy the damn cream for our baby and even that, you did  right!**

**John: Anne... Don’t start, I forgot, I'll buy it now.**

**A: And how will she stay here, huh? Wet??**

**John: Can’t she be without the cream for ten minutes? I’ll be fast.**

**A: You want...**

Anne frowned and started to cry, but with anger this time.

John looked at her and couldn’t say anything; he left the room to buy the cream, obviously feeling angry too.

Steve and Natasha were embarrassed by the whole scene, they looked at each other and seemed to have been talking mentally. Natasha took the cream of the twins in their bag and walked over to Anne.

**N: Here… you can use this.**

**A: Oh...**

Anne was still crying, she looked at the cream and held it.

**A: Sorry for that. Thanks.**

Anne looked at Natasha.

**A: I'm not crazy.**

**N: I didn’t think that.**

**A: I just…**

Anne sighed for a moment.

**A: I want her to be as comfortable and happy as possible while she... While she is still... alive, you know??**

Anne burst out crying again.

**N: I… I know... You have every right to make sure of that.**

Natasha stroked Anne's back in consolation, then she returned to Lindsay's crib.

A few minutes later, Nick started to cry with hunger, Natasha sat in the armchair beside the crib and Steve put Nick on Natasha's lap.

**A: I'll give you some privacy.**

Anne pulled the curtain that separated one bed from the other.

Steve crouched in front of Natasha and put his hands on the arms of the chair.

They looked at each other for a few seconds.

**N: I'm scared.**

Natasha whispered at Steve.

**S: Me too.**

**N: I do not know if I could go throught it...**

**S: Shhh... No, we will not go through the same as them, don’t think about that.**

Obviously the two were talking low so Anne didn’t hear the conversation.

Twenty minutes later, John returned to the room with the crean, but he just handed it to his wife Anne, without saying anything and they didn’t say a word for each other for the rest of the day, which made Steve and Natasha also share the same tension.

At night Cho appeared in the room.

**Cho: Hi, everyone, good evening.**

Everyone greeted Cho and stood to hear what she had to say. Cho first gave a feedback on Chloe’s status and then went to talk about Lindsay with Steve and Natasha, nothing too much, just routine things.

**Cho: Guys, I forgot to tell you about the room, I'm sorry.**

**S: No problem at all, you did the right thing by allowing their presence here.**

Cho sighed.

**Cho: I'm calling several hospitals, but they're all full to get Chloe, but tomorrow we'll have to figure it out something.**

**S: They can stay here with us, no problem.**

Steve shrugged.

**Cho: This room has only these beds and one couch, I mean… you need space and privace.**

**N: We don’t mind, we just ant Lindsay to be safe and Chloe’s presence here it’s not a threat, is it?**

Cho made negative with her head.

**John: Guys, uh…**

Chloe’s father was embarrassed, he interveined in the conversation.

**John: I’m sorry, that’s nice of you letting us stay here, but we can not afford it.**

**S: It's okay, we'll pay for everything.**

John slid his hand on his face.

**John: This is so ackward because I should deny for education, but we need to stay so much, I can only promise to pay you back when things get better.**

**Steve smiled.**

**S: No need… for real.**

**A: Thank you, Mr. Rogers, you’re truly a superhero.**

Anne finally smiled through her tears, than she looked at Natasha.

**A: You have a great man as a husband.**

Natasha almost corrected Anne to say that she is not married to Steve, but she gave up and just smiled.

**John: We'll pay as soon as we can, I make a point of that.**

**S: Don’t worry about it.**

**Cho: That's great, guys, glad we solved this. I need to go now but tomorrow I'll be back.**

**S: Cho? Can you give Natasha a ride home?**

Natasha frowned and stared at Steve in shock.

**N: No, I’m not leaving.**

**S: Natasha... I can’t let you here with Nick.**

**N: I’m not going anywhere!**

**S: Nat, listen… we also have James and Sarah to take care of. Nick can’t stay at the hospital. Go home, I'll call you if we need anything. You'll come back tomorrow morning.**

**Cho: Steve's right.**

Natasha looked at Lindsay.

**N: She didn’t even nurse yet.**

**Cho: She's being take care of, she will get a bottle if she feels hungry. This is a hospital, Natasha, you have nothing to worry about now. Go home.**

Natasha sighed and leaned over Lindsay, kissing her forehead. Natasha walked over to Steve, she needs more comfort, so he looked in her eyes, then he put Natasha's hair behind her shoulder, he grabbed her face with both hands, and brought her face to his slowly, keeping his gaze fixed on her eyes. Steve kissed Natasha’s lips affectionately.

Cho cleared her throat and they interrupted the kiss. Steve kissed Nick's head and then gave a peck on Nat’s lips, who finally left with Cho to go home.

**A: You’re such a beautiful couple, it’s so nice to see married people happy like you.**

**S: Thank you, but we’re not actually married.**

**A: How not?**

**S: We are divorced.**

Anne and John looked at each other briefly, then they looked away from each other.

**S: I need to buy a coffee, do you mind looking at my baby for a few minutes?**

**A: Of course not, go.**

**John: I'll make you company.**

John looked at Anne.

**John: Do you want me to bring you something to eat?**

**A: No... Thank you.**

The two treated each other politely, but clearly it was super-forced, it looked like they were about to kill themselves. Steve and John went to the hospital’s diner and bought coffee and some snack to eat.

On the way back to the room, they were both talking with each other.

**John: You said you’re divorced, but you and her don’t look like divorced couple. That kiss… it was hot, there are feelings in your relationship.**

**S: Yeah, that's what people say, I mean... I… I do love her, and there is a lot of feelings, but it’s complicated. She got pregnant and after that the twins were born with some problems and we ended up getting closer again.**

**John: Yeah, I know. I understand that. When our Nicholas died, we had a major crisis in our marriage, Anne became so depressed, so did I, but she suffered more.**

**S: She’s a woman… the mother, so…**

Steve shrugged.

**John: Yeah, yeah, I was just keeping myself together to support her, but we barely talked and when we talked it was only to fight, we used to be so in love with each other, it was nothing like we are today.**

**S: I'm sorry for that.**

**John: She did therapy, it was this or the divorce, and she loved me, so she wanted to try it one more time. We did therapy and it helped a lot, we got back together, we were moving on with life and then she got pregnant and we were happy again.**

John smiled discretly.

**John: Chloe was already sick when she was born, and Anne got worse than the first time with Nicholas. She blamed God, she blamed me, the doctors, herself... she’s like a bomb, I don’t know when she is going to explode, I'm trying to be patient, but it's so difficult, she attacks me whenever she can.**

**S: You're doing it right.**

**John: My marriage won’t survive this… I’m sure of it, there is no future for us after that. When Chloe leaves, there will be nothing else to link me to her and she knows it.**

**S: It must be very difficult to stay in this position.**

**John: Yeah, a lot. Because I do like her, and she likes me, but we can’t stand each other anymore.**

**S: I understand.**

**John: I hope the love  that I saw today, between you and your girl… doesn’t end like ours. You clearly love each other, I hope nothing moves you away. You are stronger together, don’t let it ever go away.**

John smiled and shook his head.

**John: Look at me, wanting to tell you what to do... I'm sorry, we did not even know each other properly.**

**S: No, that's fine. I think you are right.**

They were both very close to entering the room again.

**S: You can go ahead, I need to make a call.**

John left Steve and entered the room.

Steve stared at the room’s door, then at the hospital corridor, he was reflecting on everything John said about the loss of his son, about the ruin of his relationship with his wife, and how Chloe's inevitable death was breaking them from the inside out.

Steve sighed and looked down, he thought about how Nat's pregnancy of James completely changed his and Natasha's relationship, it was supposed to have gone wrong, but when he was born, their relationship only grew stronger. And then when Natasha became pregnant with Sarah because he insisted, she might have said no, but she probably saw how much more complete they were with James, so an extra baby would only bring more happiness into their lives and again they were right. They were complete with James and Sarah in their lives, children were never a problem in their lives. Nicholas and Lindsay are also part of them now, and they were responsible for making Steve let his guard down and back to being vulnerable to Natasha.

 _I love her. I do love her with all my being with all my heart and if I had to go through everything I went, when I married her, and had babies, then almost lost her, then waited one year for her wake again, and lose her again, and have two more babies, I would do everything again, just to be with her, I would do it without hesitation, because she's worth it, her love is worth it_. Steve thought as he dialed a number on his cell phone.

**_\- Hey, dude!_ **

**_S: Sam._ **

**_Sam: How's Lily?_ **

**_S: Recovering. I need a favor from you._ **

**_Sam: Just say it, my friend._ **

**_S: I need you to buy me a ring._ **

**_Sam: Ring?? Are you going to propose me to marry you? I love you, man but… Wait, it's for Natasha?_ **

Steve was silent, but smiling.

**_Sam: It's for her, isn’t it? Ok... here we go again. I'm ready to be the bestman this time._ **

**_S: Sam, I need to go. Buy the ring, any ring and bring me here, tomorrow. And remember it's a secret._ **

**_Sam: Consider it done._ **

Steve hung up the phone and smiled alone, he didn’t enter the room, he looked at the phone again and dialed another number.

**N: Steve??**

Natasha answered the call.

**N: Something happened??? Why are you calling me???**

Natasha was already nervous and ready to get back to the hospital, flying if necessary.

**S: No, baby, no... calm down, it’s nothing to do with Lindsay.**

Natasha sighed.

**N: God, Steve! You scared me to death. What happened then? Why are you calling me?**

**S: Nothing, I... I just wanted to say...**

**N: What??? Steve! What? What is it??**

**S: I… love you.**

 

_♫ And I will never try_

_To deny that you are my whole life_

_'Cause if you ever let me go_

_I would die so I won't run_

_I don't need another woman_

_I just need you or nothing_

_'Cause if I got that_

_Then I'll be straight_

_Baby you're the best part of my day_

_I need you boo_

_I gotta see you boo_

_And there's hearts all over the world tonight_

_Said there's hearts all over the world tonight_

_They need their boo_

_They gotta see their boo_

_Said there's hearts all over the world tonight_

_Hearts all over the world tonight_

_And oh, I'm into you and_

_Girl no one else would do_

_With every kiss and every hug_

_You make me fall in love_

_And now I know I can't be the only one_

_I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight_

_With the love of their life who feel_

_What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you with you, with you... ohh (girl)_ _♪_

With You - Chris Brown


	61. I can't say goodbye

Natasha frowned, then smiled.

**N: I love you too, Steve, but...**

**S: Do you want to marry me??**

Steve interrupted Natasha abruptly.

Steve could hear Natasha's breath as she sighed. Her silence on the phone was unbearable.

 _What did I do? I should have waited until tomorrow, until the ring arrives here and propose the right way... It was not meant to be like that. Damn it, Rogers!_ Steve thought, during Natasha's four seconds of silence, that it sounded to Steve like four hours.

**N: Do you want to marry me again? Steve, that doesn’t make any sense. I...**

Natasha sighed again, before answering.

**S: Yes or no?**

**N: Yes…**

Natasha frowned with her answer but again she was smiling like a silly teenager in love.

**S: I'm sorry, it was a horrible idea to do this over the phone, I don’t know what hit me, you're right to refuse the proposal, so...**

**N: Steve! I said yes!**

**S: Huh?**

**N: I said yes… I want to marry you.**

Natasha couldn’t see, but she could tell that Steve was smiling, and he was letting out a brief laugh, she imagined him celebrating the news all by himself and that made her smile too.

**S: My God, I love you so much, Natasha, so much! I'm happy, are you happy?**

**N: No. Not completely because of Lily.**

**S: I understand, but we're getting married.**

**N: I will not wear any stupid dresses.**

**S: I don’t care. I just want you, the kids, the babies... and Sarah's cat.**

Steve sighed, trying to calm down, he was very exalted with the proposal.

**S: How… how are Sarah and James?**

**N: When I arrived, they were already asleep. Laura's been great for us.**

**S: I know. Tell them I'm missing them both and also Nick.**

**N: Okay, soldier, I see you tomorrow.**

**S: Right. Natasha?**

**N: What???**

**S: I love you.**

Natasha sighed and Steve could imagine her rolling her eyes now, but he didn’t mind, he wanted to repeat that a thousand times and scream through the hallways of the hospital.

**N: I'm not deaf, you've said that enough, and that will not make me say back to you.**

**S: I know, it doesn’t matter.**

**N: Good night, Rogers.**

**S: Good night.**

Steve hung up and smiled, he entered the room and approached Lindsay's crib, still smiling.

Steve slept in the chair, just like John, so Anne could rest better by sleeping on the couch. Early in the morning, Steve was getting a call from Natasha.

**S: Hey ...**

**N: How did she stay at night?**

**S: Well. Aren’t you coming here?**

**N: I'm ready, but the children's school called, reporting a problem with the water and they released the children earlier. I can’t contact Laura.**

**S: I have to go pick them.**

**N: No, stay there. Hill just got here now and we'll get the kids.**

**S: Good, so bring them here.**

**N: To the hospital??**

**S: Yes, it's important.**

**N: Why is it important?**

**S: You'll know it here.**

**N: Steve?**

**S: Just come over here.**

**N: Okay.**

Natasha hung up and handed Nick over to Maria.

**H: Why do I have to hold the baby?**

**N: Because my arm is sore and I miss driving. Let's go.**

Natasha got in the car and Hill put Nick at the car seat and then she sat next to Natasha. Natasha stopped in front of the school and honked.

James recognized Hill's car and ran to the car.

**J: Hi Mom, hi Maria.**

**N: James, give me your backpack and go get Sarah, please.**

**J: Okay.**

James handed his backpack to Natasha, then he went to Sarah's teacher, who asked where his parents were. James pointed at Natasha, who waved at the teacher.

**\- Sarah, your mother is here!**

Sarah was with her friend Thia, they were holding hands and she and Sarah went with James to the car.

James got in thecar, but Sarah was outside with her friend, staring at Natasha.

**Sarah: Mommy, can Thia go to our house to play with me?**

**N: Sarah, we're not going home now.**

**Sarah: But I want to play!**

**N: Another day.**

**\- THIA! Your mom arrived!**

The teacher called Thia and she ran back to the entrance.

**N: Come on, guys, get in the car.**

James and Sarah got in the car and smiled when they saw Maria Hill.

**Sarah: Mariaaa!**

**H: Hey.**

**Sarah: When are we going to Uncle Henry's house to play again?**

Natasha started the car and Hill looked at the car window, ignoring Sarah’s question. Natasha observed her.

**N: Yeah, you didn’t about him anymore, after all of that mess you mad.**

**H: There's nothing to say.**

**N: But you were like sad.**

**H: Yeah, but now I'm not.**

**Sarah: I miss Lily.**

**N: Is Henry's daughter named Lily too?**

**Sarah: Yes, and her father looks like the superman, he's gorgeous.**

Hill sighed.

**H: He is indeed. That face... those arms, and those chest and that big...**

**N: HILL!**

Hill looked at Natasha who was looking at her reproachfully. Natasha nodded at the children.

**H: Sorry.**

**N: You should talk to him, I bet you never tried to apologize.**

**H: What? Me? Apologize? You know I would never...**

**N: I know. Me too, but I had to swallow my pride to get back the man I love.**

**H: Ugh. "The man I love". That sounds stupid. Spare me, plase.**

**N: True, I know how it sounds, but it is like that.**

**H: Forget it, it will never happen.**

Natasha drove for almost forty minutes, until Hill noted that they were off the route to the hospital.

**H: Natasha... wh-what… where are we?**

Hill recognized the streets as they passed by.

**H: You didn’t do that. I will kill you!!!**

Hill was angry now that she recognized where they were.

Natasha stopped the car in front of Henry's house.

**H: I already said that I will not apologize**

**N: So, don’t, just talk to him!**

**H: NO! Are you crazy? I can’t talk to him.**

**N: Yes, you can.**

**H: No, I can not! Let’s go before he shows up here.**

**N: Get out of the car.**

**H: No!**

**N: Get out of the fucking car!**

**H: I said no!**

**N: Get out, get out not.**

**H: Make me.**

Natasha and Hill looked at each other with frowning brows. Natasha hates to be challenged and Hill knows how much Natasha takes seriously, certain challenges. Natasha opened the glove compartment and picked up Hill's gun, she aimed the gun at Hill.

**J: MOM!**

James was horrified, Sarah's eyes widened, and then she smiled at the scene.

**H: You wouldn’t do that.**

**J: Mom! What are you doing? Mom!**

**N: I've done this before.**

**J: Mom! Did you shoot Aunt Hill??**

**N: Only twice... I guess.**

**J: Twice? Why???**

**N: She said I wouldn’t dare to shoot, so...**

Natasha shrugged.

**H: Your mother is a psychopath, James! And Natasha, you're not going to shoot me in front of your kids.**

**Sarah: Shoot, Mom, shoot!**

**N: Sarah!**

Natasha looked at Sarah in shock and Sarah was facing it as a joke, she thought it was a toy gun.

Sarah looked out the window and saw Henry coming out with his daughter.

**Sarah: Look at Uncle Henry!!!**

Hill glanced out the window and crouched on the bench, afraid to be seen.

**H: My God!**

Natasha unlocked all the doors of the car, she opened Hill’s door and literally kicked Hill out of the car, who fell on the sidewalk, and now was trying to kick Natasha in return.

**H: Son of a fucking bitch. You're so dead!!!**

Hill felt a shadow cover her body, she looked up and came face to face with Henry.

**Henry: Are you okay?**

**H: Yes…**

Hill was embarassad.

**H: It's just... I got unbalanced. How are you?**

**Henry: Good.**

He answered dryly. Henry helped Hill to her feet and she looked at Henry's daughter.

**H: Hey Lily, you seem to have grown up.**

**Henry: We're just leaving.**

**Sarah: Hi Lily!**

**\- Hi Sarah. Can you play?**

**Sarah: No, I have to leave.**

**H: Maybe I can bring Sarah over the weekend to play with her...**

Hill said, hoping she could spend more time with Henry.

**Henry: No, Lily and I are going on a trip.**

**H: Oh… maybe when you get back, then...**

**Henry: I've been very busy, I find it difficult to happen.**

**H: I see… o-okay, it’s fine, I mean… I’m busy too, I’m… I’m a busy person, so…**

Hill was stammering and blinking nonstop, she felt really silly.

**Henry: Yeah… we’re leaving now. Bye…**

Hill nodded.

**H: Bye… It was nice to see you both.**

Henry walked away with his daughter and Hill stood for a few seconds watching them leave leave. Hill got ready to get in the car.

**N: Go after him, Hill.**

**H: What?! I just talked to him, I tried to have a conversation and he just left me, I've never felt so humiliated in my life and it's your fault.**

**N: Hill, I'm sorry about that.**

**H: What?**

Natasha closed and locked the doors of the car.

**H: Natasha! Natasha, my cell phone is inside the car!** **Natasha open the door!** **Don’t you dare! I’ll kill you, Natasha!!!**

**N: Ask Henry to use his phone.** **Bye, Bye.**

****

Natasha started the car and left, leaving Hill to resolve things with Henry.

Natasha drove to the hospital and ahen she arrived, she picked Nick up and entered the hospital with him, Sarah and James, who followed her to the floor of Lindsay's room.

Opening a door to the room, Sarah and James was pushing one another to get in first.

**N: Calm down, you guys are too rushed, watch out for Nick!**

**Sarah: Daddy?**

**J: Dad?**

**N: Sorry, I took so long, I had to stop to give Hill a ride and…**

Natasha was paying attention to Nick as she walked in the room, then she looked over to Steve and he was sitting in the armchair, his eyes red and swollen.

Natasha stopped talking as soon as she looked at Steve’s mood, she changed her expression right away and her smile broke, he didn’t say anything, she didn’t know what happened but she knew it was something bad and she felt like she couldn’t breathe, her heart started to beat fast like it was going to come out through her mouth.

Natasha closed her eyes and a few tears had already rolled down her face.

**Sarah: Why are you crying, Daddy?**

**J: What's happening?**

James stared at his mom too and he is not used to see her crying, so he got scared and also Sarah.

**S: They tried…**

Steve finally pronounced.

**N: No…**

Natasha whispered and more tears rolled down her face.

**S: It was very fast.**

**N: No. No...**

Natasha kept repeating and she was raising her voice, she felt like someone was choking her.

**S: She...**

**N: NO!!! DON’T! Don’t say it. No...**

**Sarah: Mommy?**

Natasha had to lean one hand on the wall to keep herself up.

Sam Wilson who as in the hospital room along with Steve because he brought the ring for him, tried to help them.

**Sam: Hey, Sarah and James... Why don’t you come with me to have an ice cream?**

**J: No, what's happeni** **ng?**

Sarah walked over to Steve and hugged him, but Steve was still staring at Natasha who was staring at Lindsay's empty crib.

**S: Go with him, Sarah.**

**Sarah: You're crying. Are you in pain? Daddy?**

**S: A little.**

**Sarah: Where it hurts, daddy?**

**S: In my heart.**

Sarah feels bad every time she sees her father sad, her eyes also got filled with tears.

Steve looked at Sam.

**S: Take them, please.**

**Sam: Come on, children.**

**Sarah: No, I want to be with my daddy.**

**S: Sarah, not now.  I need you to go with Sam, please.**

**Sarah: No!**

**S: I can1t now, Sarah. Go. Be a good girl, please.**

**J: Come on, Sarah.**

James took Sarah's hand and looked at Steve. Steve knows James already understood what happened.

Sam tried to get Nick from Natasha's lap, but she hugged him tightly.

**N: No.**

**Sam: Okay… I'll be around, outside with the kids.**

**Sarah: Mommy.**

Sarah was even more nervous to see Natasha leaning against the doorframe and seeming to be powerless.

**Sam: It's okay, Sarah. Come here.**

Sam took the kids out of the room.

Natasha didn’t have the strength to try to keep Nick close to her, she didn’t have the strength to disguise the pain she was feeling too, the pain was too big and too strong, so she cried out loud and cursed in Russian.

Sarah and James stopped in the hallway and looked at their mother in a state they had never seen before, they couldn’t walk anymore.

Sam returned to get Nick because Natasha wasn’t in condition to stay with him, he got Nick, then he went back to the hallway.

**Sam: Guys, c’mon.**

Sam took the children out of that floor.

…

Steve also couldn’t move, he couldn’t comfort Natasha, since the pain he was feeling was the same, or perhaps worse. He wanted the babies the most, he wanted Lindsay, he believed she would recover.

Any torture Natasha has faced throughout her life, nothing is comparable to the torture of having lost a child, she hated herself immensely for having children, she hated herself for letting the pregnancy go on, she should never have allowed this to happen. She didn’t know how much she would love them, but if she had not had children, she wouldn’t love them, so she wouldn’t be afraid to lose them, she wouldn’t know the pain of losing one of them. Damn day she got pregnant!

After one hour, Steve and Natasha remained in the same places. Steve in the armchair, desolate, Natasha was sitting on the floor, desolate.

Sam returned with Nick on his lap.

**Sam: I'm sorry, guys. He's crying a lot, and it's not the diaper, I think he wants to nurse.**

Sam tried to give Nick back to Natasha, but she looked sideways and shook her head. Sam looked at her and then looked at Steve who didn’t respond either.

**Sam: Natasha, he needs to nurse.**

Natasha closed her eyes tight, causing more tears to fall. Natasha covered her ears.

**N: Get him out of here, please.**

**Sam: Steve?**

Steve wanted to be able to do something, but he didn’t have the strength. He can’t deal with Natasha acting like this with his son, he knows what she's like when she's depressed, she'll probably run away anyway.

Anne and John were returning to the room with their daughter, they were out with her because she was doing some exams in another floor of the hospital, but they were with Steve when Lindsay started to get sick, she practically died in Steve's arms, when the doctors came, she was already unconscious. It was a horrible and traumatic experience.

**Anne: You should ask the nurse to feed him with some bottle.**

Anne directed Sam.

**John: We know what you're feeling right now. There is no word in the world that will comfort you now.**

**Anne: If I say that one day the pain will be over, it's a lie, it diminishes with time, but you never get used to it.**

**John: We are really sorry for you.**

**Anne: Natasha...**

Natasha looked at Anne, though her eyes were blurred with tears.

**A: I blame myself every day over my son’s death, I can’t help it, I think you're just like me.**

**N: I'm nothing like you.**

**A: Maybe... But now you know what I felt. I'm still alive, I don’t know how. I blamed John, and you probably are blaming your husband too... Or ex husband...**

Natasha looked away, because it was true. Natasha was hating Steve hatred, he got her pregnant, it's all his fault.

**A: I made him feel guilty every day for all these years.**

Anne was emotional too, but now she was talking to John.

**A: I never thought you were guilty. I blamed you to pretend it was not my fault.**

**John: Anne...**

John ran to his wife and hugged her. Anne hugged him, then stepped back to look at John as she stroked his face.

 **A: I made a hell of your life. I love you, John, but I'm tired of ruining** **your life. We owe nothing to each other.**

**John: Anne...**

**A: I want you to live your life without me, I want you to be happy, I want you to have healthy children with someone who doesn’t make you feel guilty, like I did. I really want this.**

Anne hugged John again. The two still love each other, but even though they are honest with each other, their story as a couple was long over, what remained was a great deal of gratitude for what each did for the other throughout life.

Anne looked at Natasha again.

**A: You still have three wonderful children. They are so beautiful. You must live for them.**

**N: They're better off without me.**

**S: Don’t you dare, Natasha! Don’t you dare to disappear from us! You're so selfish.**

Natasha looked at Steve.

**S: I saw her die! I was on the side of James and Sarah, every time they had a flu, or a nightmare, or when they grated their knees and cried just needing a little attention. You're gone for one year, and I've been here for them, always! You have no right to run away. I'll hate you for it, and I'll let them hate you too for it, this time, I swear I’ll let them hate you. I also have a heart, okay? I wanted them, all of them.** **It hurts in me as much as in you.**

Steve cried again and Natasha cried when she saw Steve in that state. Natasha crawled over to Steve and laid her head on his leg.

**N: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's all right. I’m sorry.**

Natasha said, but she was still desperate and her tears seemed to be endless.

**N: I won’t leave you alone. I won’t leave this time, I promise.**

Steve managed to control himself and wiped away his tears. Natasha lifted her head and looked into his eyes.

**N: Where is she?**

**S: Cho took her, I didn’t see her after she started to… to…**

**N: I understand…**

Natasha sighed.

**N: I… I need to see my daughter.**

Steve looked at Natasha.

**N: Come with me, please.**

Steve didn’t want to see Lindsay's dead body, her heart was still beating when Cho and the nurses came to pick her, then someone came to announce her death and he didn’t have courage to see his daughter’s body.

**S: I can’t.**

**N: Steve, please.**

**S: It’s not a good idea.**

**N: It’s our baby, we need to see her one more time, we need that, please!**

Steve finally agreed and stood up, he helped Natasha to stand up and they hugged each other for a few minutes.

**S: Come on.**

Steve took Natasha's hand and they went to the hospital morgue. The corridor of the morgue was already extremely cold, and when the two stood facing the iron door, they both froze.

**N: I can’t.**

**S: All right.**

**N: I can’t see her like this.**

**S: I don’t think I can either.**

N: I can’t say goodbye yet, I’m not ready.

Natasha was trying to contain the cry for Steve, but she couldn’t help it. Standing there facing the morgue, knowing that Lindsay is there and lifeless, was the worst nightmare she could have.

**N: Steve?**

Steve looked at Natasha, she was extremely pale. Steve rested his hand on Natasha's back to steady her.

**N: I can’t breathe.**

**S: What?**

**N: I can’t...**

Natasha started choking and literally choking, before losing consciousness, the last thing she heard, was Steve screaming for help.

 

_♫ Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?_

_If I should die before I wake_

_It's cause you took my breath away_

_Losing you is like living in a world with no air, oh_

_I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave_

_My heart won't move, it's incomplete_

_Wish there was a way that I can make you understand_

_But how_

_Do you expect me, to live alone with just me?_

_Cause my world revolves around you_

_It's so hard for me to breathe_

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?_

_Can't live, can't breathe with no air_

_That's how I feel whenever you ain't there_

_There's no air, no air_

_Got me out here in the water so deep_

_Tell me how you gon be without me?_

_If you ain't here, I just can't breathe_

_There's no air, no air_ _♪_

No Air – Chris Brown ft. Jordin Sparks


	62. Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so late, I'm so sorry.

_♫ Would you know my name_

_if I saw you in Heaven?_

_Would it be the same_

_if I saw you in Heaven?_

_I must be strong and carry on_

_'Cause I know_

_I don't belong_

_here in Heaven_

__  
  


_Would you hold my hand_

_if I saw you in Heaven?_

_Would you help me stand_

_if I saw you in Heaven?_

_I'll find my way_

_through night and day_

_'Cause I know_

_I just can't stay_

_here in Heaven_

_Eric Clapton – Tears in Heaven_

 

A group of people stopped to help Natasha, Steve held her in his arms and Natasha began to move her head from one side to ther other and she moaned something that nobody couldn’t understand.

**S: She's waking up.**

**\- Let's take her to the infirmary. Quickly.**

Steve carried Natasha, following the nurse down the hallways, to the elevator. Steve left Natasha on the bed and sighed, he was not too worried about her right now, because she was already coming back to herself, and he is still suffering a lot for losing his baby girl, Lily, and he knows that Natasha must have passed out due to the clash of the news.

The nurse approached Steve.

**\- I need one of you to sign the death certificate.**

Steve took a deep breath. Hearing that phrase, it was like going through all the trauma again, he followed the nurse out of the room and before signing the certificate, he asked if he could see Lindsay's body first. The nurse said yes and escorted him back to the morgue.

When he reached the door, Steve froze again and his heart clenched, he didn’t know if he could move.

**\- Sir, you don’t have to do that now. Why don’t you wait until the funeral to see her? She will be looking better…**

Steve shook his head.

**S: I, uh… I need... I need to see her and stay with her a little. I won’t have any time to do that from now on, so I better see her... right now.**

**\- Okay, I need to get back. You will find the coroner inside the morgue and he will show you her body, when you done here, please come sign the certificate.**

**S: Okay, I’ll do that. Thank you.**

Steve finally entered the morgue and he was greet by the coroner who said he was sorry for his loss and it was not advisable for Steve to be there, but Steve was determined, he spent only a few weeks with Lindsay, he had to say goodbye before she was buried forever.

**\- This way, please.**

The coroner said.

Steve entered the room and saw several metal doors and he felt a chill to imagine his daughter inside a compartment as if she were a piece of frozen meat, he put his hand in his mouth because of the strong smell of formaldehyde and some tears escaped from his eyes without he notice.

**S: Is she in there?**

****

Steve sobbed.

**\- Yes. Unfortunately everyone is put here, it's a bit inhumane, I know, but... It was not for the family to come in here and see this.**

**S: All right.**

At least she died quietly, with no pain. Steve thought.

The doctor pulled the door from Lindsay's body compartment and pulled the mat with her body out. Steve turned on his back at the same time, he didn’t want to see anymore, there is no way he could that.

**\- This disease, you know...**

The coroner sighed.

**\- It is just so unpredictable and silent at times. Very sad to lose a child to a cancer.**

Steve looked at the doctor and frowned.

**S: What did you say?**

**\- I bed you pardon?**

**S: What did you say about cancer?**

**\- Sir... Hm... Wait a minute.**

The doctor pulled out a clipboard and read Lindsay Romanoff Rogers' chart.

**\- That's right... It’s cancer. Why are you so surprised?**

**S: You made a mistake, she didn’t have cancer, she had, uh… a thing with her lungs, she needed a device to breathe… can you check again?**

**\- I made the authopsy myself, it was the cancer, it was in a very advanced stage. That's what I've identified as the cause of death.**

**S: That can’t be right!!!**

Steve looked at the baby on the mat, her skin pale, her lips purple from the cold. Steve started shaking right away, he knew that baby was not Lindsay, but he could be confused because babies can look alike when they’re small. But there was a way of knowing if that was Lindsay or not.

**S: Doctor, can you lift the… blanket, please?**

**\- Yes.**

The doctor did what Steve asked.

**S: Can I? Just…**

Steve turned the baby’s body to see her back and he was starin in shock to the back of the baby.

**S: That's not my daughter!**

**\- How come? Please, sir, calm down.**

**S: That's not my daughter! Where is she???**

**\- Sir, everything's fine. This reaction is normal, of course she is your daughter. I know how it’s hard to accept her death.**

Steve grabbed the doctor's collar and lifted him off the floor.

**S: I’m gonna ask you one more time… where is my daughter?**

****

Steve noticed that the doctor didn’t know what was happening, and he started to remember about everything that happened in the morning...

Steve called Natasha, to ask her to marry him, Steve left the room with John for breakfast and Anne stayed with Lindsay and Chloe in the room. The two returned to the room, Lindsay was fine and Chloe semmed fine too, but a few minutes later Lindsay had a terrible crisis, she couldn’t breathe and Steve saw her pass out up close, she was in his arms and she collapsed, so Steve saw her daughter dying. Lindsay was dead. Steve thought.

Steve also remember that Cho came in to take Lindsay to be rescued and Steve didn’t see Dr. Cho more after this, just one of her assistant’s doctors appeared to say that Lindsay hadn’t resisted. Steve tried to remember if Anne was with him in the bedroom when this news was delivered, he thinks she was not there, and not even her daughter, but he is not sure.

Steve put the doctor back on the floor and ran out of the morgue and then he went up the stairs, back to Lindsay’s room. He entered the room, almost making the door fall and he saw John in the room, talking on the phone with someone and he looked worried.

Steve didn’t see his wife or his daughter.

**S: John? Where's Anne?**

**John: Steve, I'm with her on the phone. I don’t know where she went with our daughter. She doesn’t want to tell me and she knows Chloe need to be in the hospital. I don’t know what is going on. Why would she do that? She’s putting Chloe’s life at risk.**

**S: I think I can handle that, let me talk to her.**

John handed the cell phone to Steve.

**S: Anne? Anne? It's Steve.**

Steve heard Anne hang up the phone. Steve sighed and frowned, then he looked at John.

**S: John... I know what is going on… Anne disappeared with Lindsay, with my daughter.**

**John: What?**

**S: John... do you have something to do with it? Did you plan to kidnap my daughter?**

John even smiled, it seemed like a joke. John frowned.

**John: What?? No! Your daughter died! What are you talking about???**

**S: Come with me.**

Steve took John to the morgue and showed the baby's body. John was speechless.

**John: That... That is Chloe. My Chloe!**

John despaired at the same moment and began to cry.

**S: Where is Anne?**

John couldn’t speak, just cry.

**\- Wait! Was there a baby exchange? I'm going to call the police right now.**

**S: Do it!**

Steve looked at John and by the way he looked, so lost, Steve trusted that John was not involved with the disappeareance of his baby daughter.

**S: Is Lindsay alive?**

**John: I... I don’t know.**

Steve left the morgue and called Maria Hill and Tony Stark, who immediately made arrangements to identify Anne and do facial recognition searches across the country. It is not known where Anne went, whether she is far or near.

Steve ran to the infirmary where he found Natasha pulling all the tubing attached to her body and the nurse arguing with Natasha for it.

**S: Natasha!**

Natasha looked at Steve and frowned at Steve's expression.

**S: I went to the morgue.**

Natasha closed her eyes and lowered her head.

**N: Steve, don’t...**

**S: Listen to me!**

Steve interrupted Natasha, then walkedto stay closer to Natasha and he grabbed her shoulders, Natasha was with her eyes filled with tears, looking at Steve.

**S: That body in the morgue was not Lindsay's.**

**N: What?**

Natasha was confused.

**S: Listen to me, I saw the body, I’m sure it was not Lindsay and I called John, he confirmed that that baby’s body is Chloe.**

**N: Chloe died?**

**S: Yes.**

**N: Why do you look excited about it?**

**S: Not with that, Natasha, but Lindsay's body is not there, Chloe's was in her place. Anne disappeared from the hospital, supposedly carrying her daughter, but it’s not her daughter... Think about it, it can only be...**

**N: Lindsay!**

Natasha frowned, looking at Steve, she didn’t know whether to believe and have hope, or whether she should not delude herself as Steve is deluded now.

**N: A-are you sure??**

**S: Yes. Do you want to go there and see? I show you.**

Natasha hurried up and ran with Steve to the morgue. On arriving that, the coroner was already with two police officers reporting on the baby changing incident.

Natasha approached the baby's body and just looked at her face, she knew right away it was not her daughter, she immediately began to cry, relief and then she became nervous.

Natasha turned the baby's body around to make sure it was not just her psychological desire that it was not for Lindsay, but by noticing the baby's back and not identifying the birthmark, she could finally take a deep breath and hope that Lindsay still alive.

Twenty minutes later, Cho arrived with Maria Hill.

**Cho: Steve...**

**N: How did this happen??? How did she steal our daughter and walked out of the hospital with her?**

**S: Natasha, not now. What we need to know is if when Cho took Lindsay to the emergency room, she came out alive from there? Dis she went throught a surgery somehow?**

Cho shook his head.

**Cho: I didn’t make any surgery on Lindsay, it was not necessary, she went into the ICU and we did medication treatment, which she responded very well at the time. We don’t believe that she suffered from heart failure, but from a problem we didn’t identify before, but now that I learned of the abduction, I suspect that Anne induced Lindsay to feel sick and seem like she was dying or something, she was planning that.**

**N: My God! After everything we did for her and her baby… I'm going to tear her skin off with a razor, I swear.**

**S: Cho, is Lindsay alive?**

**Cho: Yes, when I left the hospital she was fine, I couldn’t come to talk to you after the procedures, because I was called in another hospital nearby with urgency, but I asked my assistant to warn you, I don’t know how this happened, I’m so sorry for it, guys, I will fire him and...**

**S: We don’t have time for that now, we need to find Lindsay.**

**N: She needs oxygen. What if she ran out of oxygen, Steve?**

**Cho: We need to find her as soon as possible, but I guarantee her breathing was better, she can stay without her equipment for a while.**

**H: My agents are looking for Anne. Her husband, John... You said he was here.**

**S: He was right here.**

**\- He was disturbed, probably he went out to take some air.**

**S: Or ran away.**

**H: Do you have his cell phone number?**

**S: No.**

**Cho: I have their information, come with me.**

Cho passed all the information the hospital had about the couple. Immediately a team of SHIELD and FBI, invaded the house of Anne and John. They did a search, but they did not find Anne or Lindsay.

**H: I'll keep the FBI at Anne and John's house to find out about the couple's habits, they're best suited to unravel pathological profiles and tell us where to look for them.**

Natasha leaned against Steve's arm.

**N: We need to look for her.**

**S: Yes.**

**H: Look, why don’t you go home and stay there with the kids? You know I will not rest until I find Lindsay.**

**N: Hill...**

**H: As soon as we have any clues, I'll get in touch. I promise.**

**Cho: Hill's right, you don’t even know where to search.**

**N: I can’t be at home.**

**H: Natasha, Nick needs to nurse, Sarah and James must be terrified too.**

**N: I know, but I don’t have mind to deal with them now.**

**H: At least Lindsay is alive, trust me to bring her back to you. Have I ever failed you?**

Natasha sighed and shook her head.

**S: I'm going with Hill, Natasha. You go home with the kids.**

Steve turned Natasha to face him, he stroked her face.

**S: Don’t cry anymore, she's alive.**

**N: Is she? You don’t know.**

**S: I know, I can feel it. I'll bring her home. For you.**

**N: For us.**

Steve was finally able to smile a little, after all this tribulation, he kissed the tip of Natasha's nose, and then pressed his lips to hers. Steve grabbed the back of Natasha's neck and massaged it lightly, almost in the same intensity that he was kissing. Natasha stood on tiptoe and hugged Steve's neck, who hugged her waist and stroked her back, pressing Natasha's body against his.

**H: I'm sorry, guys, but we need to go.**

Steve and Natasha turned their faces away and looked at each other, Steve once again stroked her cheek and he remained staring into his eyes.

**S: Do you still want to marry me?**

**N: Steve?**

Natasha frowned.

**N: This is not the time for that!**

**S: Yes, it is. Tell me. I need to hear you say.**

**N: Yes, Steve!**

Natasha sighed and Steve gave her a long peck on the lips, then he smiled followed Maria Hill and her agents out of the hospital.

...

Out of the hospital, already in the car...

**H: Steve, the FBI sent us Anne's profile. They have noticed a change in her behavior since the loss of her first child.**

**S: How did they detect that?**

**H: They are with her diary, and she has shown severe depression, even after the birth of her daughter Chloe, they also interview their neighobours to know about them. The ruined marriage and the inevitable death of the daughter caused the emotional break in her.**

**S: I figured she was depressed, so much that in a moment I saw her crying and suddenly she was having a momento of rage over simple things with nurses and her husband, John, but she seemed so docile to Chloe and Lindsay, I didn’t think she would be capable of such a thing.**

**H: Well, we'll know more when we arrive there.**

John and Anne lived far away from the hospital, Steve and Hill took more than two hours to get to their address. As soon as they arrived there, the head of the FBI operation came to greet them.

**\- Captain, we have our best investigators on the case. We will bring Lindsay home.**

**S: I'm sure everyone is doing their best, I appreciate that.**

**\- We arrested a man who was walking around the house, then we identified him as Anne's husband.**

**S: Where is he?**

**\- Inside the house, being interviewed by one of the agents.**

As they entered the house, Steve noticed that the decoration of the house was very depressing for a house that had a baby living there.

**S: I don’t understand... Why did Anne take Lindsay? We helped them, we paid the hospital for her.**

**\- She projected her daughter in Lindsay, she knew Lindsay still had a chance to survive, while her daughter had none. Your daughter had what she wanted Chloe to have: Chances of surviving.**

**S: Is she going to hurt her?**

**\- No, she's in a psychotic outbreak, she sees herself as Lindsay's mother and she thinks that running away with her, she is protecting her life.**

**S: She can’t run out of oxygen. We need to find her.**

**\- We will.**

When it was dark, two agents appeared in the living room.

**\- Sir, we have a possible place where Anne might have gone.**

**\- Anne's husband said Anne planned to take Chloe to Lake Albert as soon as she was born, before she knew of her illness. The two of them used to take boat trips on this lake and it was the place that John asked her to marry him and also was the place where Anne announced her first pregnancy.**

**\- So it's probably there.**

**\- Let’s go, there's no time to waste!**

Hill and Steve ran back to the car, the FBI agents rushed to their respective cars, and they took John with them.

Once in the car, Maria Hill alerted SHIELD to move for the lake.

They all arrived on the lake one hour later, as it was also far away from where they were at the moment, Steve spotted a small boat moored in the middle of the lake.

**S: It’s her, isn’t it?? I'll go there!**

**\- Captain, we do not recommend it. She can recognize you and remember that Lindsay is not her daughter.**

**S: That is my intention!**

**\- But, if she doesn’t see her as a daughter, she'll remember that hers is dead and then she could hurt Lindsay.**

**S: But you said she wouldn’t hurt Lindsay.**

**\- As long as she still believes she is her baby.**

**H: Steve, they're professionals, let them act.**

**S: It's my daughter with a crazy woman in that boat! I can’t just be here… just watching.**

**H: Well, I want to take some action too, but it’s a delicate situation. Lindsay is too young, too small, too fragile. We can’t risk. Let them handle this situation.**

Steve sighed and nodded.

The FBI arranged a boat on the pier and boarded with John. The boat approached Anne's boat, but kept some distance. The FBI chief announced their presence on the loudspeaker.

Anne was startled to hear them and stood up. The FBI chief noticed the baby wrapped in a blanket.

**\- Anne, John is here... your husband… We just want to know if the baby is okay. Can you tell us if she's okay?**

**A: She-she is okay. I saved her. She's safe as Nicholas was.**

**\- We believe you, Anne. Thanks for taking care of her, but righ now we need to get her to the hospital, it's too cold here for a newborn.**

**A: NO HOSPITALS!**

Anne got angry.

**A: They didn’t know anything! They were making her sick! I can save her. She's safe with me.**

The FBI chief looked at John and turned off the loudspeaker.

**\- John, we need you to talk to her, but don’t mention the name of Chloe or Lindsay at any moment, nor try to convince her that that baby is not Chloe.**

John nodded and picked up the loudspeaker.

**John: Anne? Honey… what are you doing?**

**A: Protecting our daughter, John! Why are you with them?**

**John: I'm not with them, I’m with you… they... They just want to make sure the baby is okay. Did you hurt her?**

**A: I would never hurt our daughter! John!**

Anne started to cry.

**A: I'm scared.**

**John: I know, honey.**

**A: I don’t wanna lose our baby girl. I don’t.**

**John: I know… neither do I. You don’t need to be afraid, I'm right here, I'll help you… come with me.**

**A: No!!! You need to leave, I told you to move on with your life.**

**John: I know that, but I couldn’t do that.**

**A: Why?**

**John: Because… because I love her. The baby... I couldn’t be without her.**

**A: So, do you want her too?**

**John: Yes, yes, of course I want her. We're going to get closer, just so I can move to your boat and we can just go travel as we always do, okay?**

**A: Okay...**

Anne nodded and sobbed.

The FBI boat approached and positioned itself next to Anne's boat that ran holding the baby to the end of the boat.

**A: If this is a trick... I’ll jump in the water with her.**

**John: It's not a trick, ok? It's just me. See? Just me.**

John put down the loudspeaker, lifted his hands up and entered Anne's boat.

**John: Honey, what are you doing?**

**A: Protecting her!**

**John: Why don’t you let me hold her for you a little bit? You look tired.**

**A: No...**

**John: Anne, it's me... baby, I love her, I would never hurt her.**

John moved closer to Anne, but the officers ordered him to stop, because Anne was taking small steps back and was very close to the edge.

**John: We should travel far away this time. Go to the Bahamas as you always wanted. What do you think?**

**A: Yes.**

**John: Would you like that?**

Anne nodded.

**John: Me, you and the baby.**

**A: Only the three of us?**

**John: Only the three of us...**

**A: They will hurt me.**

**John: No one will hurt you. I promise.**

John held out his hand to Anne. Anne hold John’s hand.

From the pier, Steve and Hill watched everything, not knowing what was going on or what they were talking about.

**S: I can’t wait any longer!**

**H: Steve, she's there. Let's trust their work.**

Anne hugged John.

**John: Let me get her.**

John took the baby from Anne's lap and at that moment, the FBI agents got on the boat and immobilized Anne who was crying and shouting that John was a traitor.

John was surprised at the lightness of the blanket, it didn’t seem like he was holding a baby, he lifted the blanket to look at it and he was astonished to find out that it was just a doll.

John handed it over to the FBI chief.

**John: Guys, it’s not the baby!**

**\- God dammit!**

Steve saw the FBI boat approaching the pier and he ran to see Lindsay. The FBI chief came down and showed the doll to Steve.

**\- Sorry, it’s not her.**

Steve was terrified now.

**S: Where is my daughter???**

**\- We have no idea.**


	63. Lindsay's Rescue

**S: You don’t know? How come you don’t know????**

Steve saw John helping Anne land, Steve went straight to Anne and grabbed her arms, lifting her off the ground. Steve had a certain hatred in his eyes that frightened them all. It seemed he was going to punch Anne.

Two agents tried to hold Steve, but they couldn’t even move his body.

**S: Where is she?**

Anne didn’t answer, only cried.

**John: Steve, please.**

More agents came to hold Steve and he grabbed Anne’s neck and squeezed it tightly as he knocked down agents on the floor with the other hand. John tried to loosen Anne and Steve punched his face, leaving him unconscious right away.

**S: Where is she, huh??? I will not ask again!**

**A: I... I don’t know.**

**S: Yes, you do! You kidnapped her! Think again or I swear...**

Steve squeezed her neck harder, making Anne choke and not even after that, Steve was merciful.

**A: I... I don’t remember.**

**S: Oh, you don’t?**

**Hill: Anne, I’m sure you care about Lindsayyou know she is just a baby... she is going to die without her oxygen equipment.**

**A: I'm really sorry. I...**

**H: I know you're sorry, help us find her, please.**

**A: I wish I could help.**

**S: Liar!**

Steve was so angry, his hand tightening around Anne's neck.

**H: Let her go, Steve!**

Hill put her hand on her gun.

**H: Let go or I'll have to shoot you!**

Steve looked at Hill's hand in the gun.

**H: Don’t make me do this, Rogers!**

Steve was out of his mind, he grabbed Hill's neck tightly, and she kicked his belly to try to break free from him, Hill knows the techniques of hitting someone bigger than her, so she knew Steve had a weak spot near his belly, Steve felt a fine pain and dropped Hill that fell to the ground and coughed trying to recover.

Steve looked at Hill on the floor and felt remorse, he let go of Anne and walked away.

FBI agents handcuffed Steve.

**\- Sorry, Captain is for your own protection.**

The FBI chief helped Hill get up.

**\- Maybe we should work with the missing baby's mother instead. The Black Widow.**

**H: No... it would be worse.**

Hill put a hand  stroked her own neck to ease the pain.

**H: Steve was being merciful, Natasha was not going to be that good.**

**\- How so?**

**H: Have you ever had any cases of torture in your agency?**

**\- Countless.**

**H: I'm sure you have’t seen anything like what Natasha can do.**

**S: Hill, I'm so sorry.**

**H: It’s all right, Steve, it was not the first time you have your hands around my neck to kill me, was it?**

****

The agents took Steve to the FBI headquarters. Hill accompanied the head of the FBi together with his team and John and Anne.

**\- Anne is in a state of severe shock, we won’t get anything from her now.**

**\- Maybe it's not necessary.**

**\- What does that means?**

**\- Remember the boat? Anne said Lindsay would be safe with her son.**

**\- Her son is dead.**

**\- Yes...**

**\- Find out where her son was buried.**

**\- Immediately, sir.**

The agent left with another agent to investigate which cemetery the son of Anne was buried. As soon as they got the address, they went there, along with Maria Hill.

The FBI led a large team with sniffer dogs. Hill was accompanying the head of the FBI in search of flashlights.

Ten minutes later, they heard one of the dogs barking, all rushed toward him. As he approached the dog, Hill looked at something wrapped around a piece of cloth and then she heard baby crying.

**H: IT’S HER! It's her! It’s Lindsayyy!**

Hill ran and grabbed Lindsay in her arms, who was crying a lot.

**H: Oh my God, Lindsay...**

Hill was emotional and began to sob, she hold Lindsay tight.

**H: Hush, hush... Calm down, you're fine, everything is fine now. I’m going to take you to your mummy, it’s okay, baby.**

**\- Let's go to the ambulance.**

Hill carried Lindsay in the arms to the ambulance, the paramedics made the first aid service.

**H: Is she okay??**

**\- Yes, with no scratches.**

**H: She needs oxygen.**

**\- We've heard her lung, she's fine.**

**H: B-but she has a... a problem with her breathing.**

**\- Let's put a mask of oxygen on her just in case, but don’t worry, oxygenation in her blood is very good.**

Hill breathed a sigh of relief, she called Natasha, then Steve, saying they found Lindsay and she was fine.

...

**J: What is it, Mommy? Why are you crying?**

**N: They found your sister, James. Let's go to the hospital, right now.**

Natasha this time took a taxi with the children to go to the hospital. As soon as they arrived at the hospital there was a crowd of people and a lot of press. Sarah held onto Natasha's blouse and James approached her as he could. Natasha was with Nick on her lap, wondering how she was going to cross that crowd, without losing any of her children.

Fortunately, Clint was arriving at the hospital too and he put Sarah on his shoulders and held James's hand, asking people to clear the way.

As soon as they entered the hospital, Natasha went to the elevator, she still was not relieved, and she had not even believed in Hill, she had to see her daughter with her own eyes.

Steve was in the hospital room with Lindsay in his arms when Natasha arrived. She handed Nick over to Hill and went straight to get her daughter.

Natasha didn’t wait for Steve to deliver the baby, she took Lindsay from him and cried desperately, which startled Lindsay who also started crying.

**N: Oh God! You're alive! Oh my God!!!**

Natasha was shaking, Steve stroked her back, smiling and looking at Lindsay.

**S: She is fine, she is okay, Nat. She’s with us.**

Natasha kissed Lindsay's face, and Steve kissed Natasha’s forehead, which made her look at him and they ended up sharing a sweet and quick kiss on the lips.

Clint put Sarah on the floor and entered the room after James. Sarah did not want to enter the room.

**C: Come on, Sarah.**

Sarah shook her head.

**C: What is it?**

Steve looked at Sarah.

**S: Sarah? What’s the problem, baby?**

Sarah leaned against the wall and looked frightened. Steve kissed Lindsay's forehead and went to Sarah in the hallway, he crouched and squeezed her nose lightly.

**S: Aren’t you glad we found your sister?**

Sarah shrugged, and when she noticed Natasha approaching with her baby sister on her lap, Sarah screamed and ran away.

**S: SARAH?**

Steve ran after Sarah.

**S: Sarah! Calm down! What are you doing??**

Steve reached Sarah and grabbed her arm, making her stop.

**Sarah: Daddy... I'm scared!**

**S: What? Scared? Of what?**

**Sarah: Of her!**

**S: Her??**

**Sarah: Lindsay.**

**S: You are afraid of your sister? She’s just a baby.**

Sarah nodded.

**S: Why?**

James watched from inside the room and he knew why Sarah was afraid of the baby, he stepped back and hid behind Hill.

**Sarah: She's a zombie.**

**N: What?**

**S: Sarah, where did you take that from? She’s not a zombie.**

**Sarah: Yes, she is! She wass dead and now she's alive, Jamie said she's a zombie and she will devour me and you, and mommy and Nick!**

Natasha rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. Steve looked at the room but didn’t see James.

**S: James!**

Steve took Sarah in his arms and as Steve walked toward Natasha, Sarah hid her face on Steve's shoulder.

**S: She's not a zombie, okay? I promise, she was not dead, it was just a mistake.**

**Sarah: But Mommy said she was dead.**

**S: Yes, because we thought that. She's just a baby, look at her.**

Sarah looked at the baby.

**S: Are zombies like this?**

Sarah shook her head.

**S: See? Give her a kiss.**

Sarah shook her head and still looked suspicious at the baby.

**S: Natasha, Dr. Cho said we can take her home, she is impressive that Lindsay is completely health now, but she warned us to keep an eye on her.**

Natasha nodded.

**S: Come on, let’s go home.**

James was walking behind Hill, and stayed as far away as possible from his parents as he could, he only approached them when they left the hospital and he had to get in the same car and he was relieved that Steve and Natasha were so focused on the babies that forgot about him pranking on Sarah.

When they got home, Steve came in with Nick on his lap, and Natasha was still holding Lindsay. Sarah ran to her bedroom and James came right after everybody and went straight to his room.

Natasha and Steve went upstairs to the twins' bedroom and neither could get away from Lindsay for hours.

Later on the night, when the house was in a complete silence and darkness, James knocked on the door to Sarah's room and stepped inside.

**J: Sarah?**

James whispered, which made Sarah sito n her bed and look at James, she was almost sleeping, so she was confused.

**J: It's dark already.**

**Sarah: What??**

**J: You know that when it gets dark that baby zombie Lily will devour our dad and mom, then she will eat Nick, me and finally...**

Sarah frowned.

**Sarah: Shut up! Daddy said she's not a zombie!**

**J: She is, but Daddy is pretending she’s not, he’s afraid someone will arrest Lily, but midnight, her teeth will grow and she will devour everybody and then you!**

**Sarah: She doesn’t know how to walk!**

**J: Yes, she does! She's just pretending...**

**Sarah: I don’t believe you!**

**J: Do you remember Stacy? She didn’t believe either, and her parents didn’t believe her, her little brother was a werewolf, and one night he devoured her parents and almost devoured her, but she managed to escape.**

Sarah was listening with her heart in her hand and her eyes wide, parto f her wanted to believe on her daddy, and parto f her was believing in James.

**J: We've never seen Stacy again... Our parents will not believe it, but it's true. You'll see, Lily's teeth and nails will grow at midnight, her eyes will turn white, and when you less expect it... AAAARRRRR.**

****

James imitated a monster, and made claws with his hand. Sarah started to scream, desperate.

...

Steve almost had a heart attack with Sarah’s scream, he immeaditely left his room and came downstairs.

Steve entered Sarah’s bedroom and she was already crying, she ran to Steve's lap.

Steve grabbed Sarah and heard James laughing.

**S: JAMES! You are grounded.**

**J: Huh? Why?? I didn’t do nothing.**

**S: You're scaring your sister!**

**J: But dad...**

**S: Go to your room! Now!**

**J: Ugh!**

James went to his room.

**Sarah: Dad, we have to put Lindsay out.**

**S: James is scaring you, it's a lie.**

**Sarah: She'll devour you and Mom, I don’t want to. I don’t want her here.**

**S: Nothing will happen, princess. You should be sleeping, forget about it.**

Steve tried to put Sarah on her bed, but she refused to let go of him.

**S: Sarah...**

**Sarah: I'm scared!**

Steve sighed.

**S: Trust me, okay?**

**Sarah: Noooo. Daddy!**

**S: Sarah...**

Sarah: Don’t leave me, please.

Steve took a deep breath.

**S: You can sleep with me and Mom today, okay?**

**Sarah: Okay.**

Steve carried Sarah upstairs, he entered the twins' bedroom and Natasha was almost sleeping with Lindsay on her lap.

**Sarah: Mom, she's going to fall!**

Natasha opened her eyes and looked at Sarah, then at Lindsay, she held her better.

**S: You're exhausted, Nat.**

**N: I am. You even more.**

**S: She is sleeping, put her in the crib and come to bed.**

**N: It’s so difficult to let go of her.**

Steve smiled and nodded.

**S: I know.**

Natasha kissed Lindsay's forehead and placed her in the crib. She went to Nick's crib and kissed his little hand. She walked over to Steve and looked at Sarah.

**N: Well, why aren’t you asleep yet?**

**S: She's sleeping with us tonight.**

**N: Why?**

**Sarah: Because I'm scared.**

**N: Oh, you scared? Of what, honey?**

**S: Sh... Let's get out of here to not wake the babies.**

Steve left the twins bedroom and Natasha came after him.

**S: James has been making up stories for her and now she's scared.**

**N: What story?**

**S: She still claims Lindsay is a zombie.**

Natasha started to laugh.

**S: It's not funny, Natasha.**

**N: Of course it is.**

Steve looked at Natasha with reproach, she coughed and managed to stop laughing.

**N: I'm sorry. Have you punished him?**

**S: Yes, he’s grouded on his room.**

Natasha looked at Sarah and smiled.

**N: So, you’re sleepig with us tonight?**

**Sarah: Yeah.**

**N: Just today, okay, miss?**

Sarah nodded, Natasha entered the room and Steve followed her with Sarah.

**N: I'm going to take a shower first. Do you want to join me?**

Steve looked at Natasha as if she'd made the most absurd proposal he'd ever heard. Steve nodded toward Sarah.

**S: Natasha...**

**N: I said shower, nothing more... She does not know what it means.**

**Sarah: What?**

**S: Nothing, princess.**

Natasha went to the bathroom, laughing at Steve.

Steve raised Sarah in the air in the direction of the bed.

**S: Princess Sarah's flight in one... two**

Steve was moving Sarah front and backwards towards the bed, theratining to throw her there.

Sarah stretched her arms out and began to laugh.

**S: Three... And... Gooo!**

Steve threw Sarah on the bed and she started laughing and then she stand on the bed and jumped on Steve.

**Sarah: Again, daddy!**

**S: Okay, alright, one more time...**

Steve counted again and threw her on the bed again, Sarah got up, jumped on her father and asked again.

**Sarah: Ah! Again!!!**

**S: Now it’s enough... You have to sleep.**

Sarah: I'm not sleepy!!! I’m not. I will never sleep again!

**S: Of course you are, you’re tired and it’s late. We had a full day. You have to sleep.**

Sarah started jumping on the bed.

**Sarah: I will not sleep! I... want to play! Play with me, daddy!**

Steve tried to grab Sarah to make her lay down, but she threw herself back and started running in circles on the bed.

**Sarah: Ah, you don’t catch me! Try againnn!**

Sarah laughed.

**S: Sarah!!!**

Natasha left the bathroom, drying her hair on the towel and she was almost run over by Sarah who jumped out of bed and started running around the room.

Natasha looked at Steve in amazement.

**N: What the fuck is that????**

**S: Language, Natasha!! She is all yours...**

Natasha frowned lookig at Sarah with a lot of energy.

**N: Why the hell is she agitated like that?**

**S: It happens once in a while. Good luck.**

**N: What? Good luck?? Where are you going???**

**S: Take my bath while you put her to sleep.**

**N: Well this is not fair. How am I supposed to do that? Using my widow’s sting to know her out??**

**S: Hah! Very funny!**

Steve took his pajamas in the clost and went to the bathroom.

Natasha frowned, seeing Sarah running around the room, she just shrugged and lay on the bed, ignoring Sarah.

Natasha covered herself and closed her eyes.

Sarah saw that Natasha did not care about her mess and went to the bed and knelt beside Natasha.

**Sarah: Mommy!!! Let's play.**

**N: No.**

Sarah frowned.

**Sarah: Why not?**

**N: Because I don’t want to.**

Sarah frowned even more.

**Sarah: Are you going to sleep?**

**N: Yes.**

**Sarah: Why?**

**N: Because I'm tired, Sarah.**

**Sarah: Why?**

Natasha opened her eyes and took a deep breath. She looked at Sarah.

**N: Sarah, lie down right now and sleep!**

**Sarah: I'm not sleepy!**

**N: Then shut up!!!**

**Sarah: Why???**

**N: God!!!**

Natasha took a deep breath and lay with her belly up, praying to God that she didn’t kill one of her children soon after recovering another one.

Steve got out of the shower and laughed, because he'd been go through it with Sarah before.

**S: So...**

Natasha and Sarah looked at Steve.

**S: Everything’s fine here?**

**N: How do you turn her off? How do you do it?**

**S: It's easy.**

**N: Really? It's easy and what are you waiting to solve this?**

**S: I'll be right back.**

Steve went out of the bedroom and returned ten minutes later with a glass of warm and sweet milk.

**Sarah: Nooooo!**

**S: Yes!**

**Sarah: Noooo!**

**N: What is that? Somniferous? Good idea! I can make her take this in two seconds. Hold her head.**

Natasha sat on the bed.

**S: Natasha!**

**N: What??**

Steve shook his head.

**S: It’s not somniferous, I wouldn’t drug our daughter.**

Natasha shrugged.

**N: Why not? She’s out of control.**

**S: She will come down, this is juts milk with sugar.**

**N: Oh... should I force her to take it??**

Natasha was confused.

**S: That won’t be necessary... Or will it be, Sarah?**

Sarah frowned and Steve held the glass for her to drink. Sarah took the milk and immediately began to yawn, but she didn’t calm down immediately, she lay on top of Natasha and began to tumble on top of her.

Steve turned off the lights and Sarah stopped, she grabbed Natasha's foot.

**Sarah: Daddy!!!**

**S: We're here, Sarah, why are you scared?**

**Sarah: Because we will not see her coming in.**

**N: I hope she comes in and devours a certain someone who does not want to sleep.**

Sarah looked at Natasha in shock. Steve shook his head and nodded at Natasha.

**N: I'm just joking, Lindsay’s just a baby, she will not come here, I closed the door, remember?**

**Sarah: If it's closed, she can’t get in here?**

**N: No, how would she do that? This door is made of steel.**

**Sarah: Really?**

**N: Really, we are all safe.**

Sarah concluded that it was true. Steve lay down next to Natasha.

**S: Come on, Sarah, come to bed.**

Sarah laid between Steve and Natasha, but she was not thinking about stopping.

**Sarah: Daddy, mommy, tickle me?**

Steve and Natasha: No!

**Sarah: Daddy?**

**S: Sarah, go to sleep!**

**N: Okay, that’s it! I'm going to sleep in the living room!**

**S: No way. You stay.**

**N: It's not fair, I'm tired!**

**S: She'll be like this more often.**

**N: How come?**

**S: So if she only have you around, you have to know how to deal with it.**

**N: What do you mean by only me around?**

**S: Nothing, but we never know what may happen. I want you to be prepared.**

Natasha frowned a bit.

**N: I don’t like this conversation, Rogers and I know how to deal with this situation.**

**S: Oh yeah? What would you do, then?**

Natasha shrugged.

**N: I would just give her some drugs...**

**S: Are you crazy? She is a child, she can’t take drugs.**

**N: Lettuce tea is a natural calmer, she will be passed out, but fine. I used it on missions, no one died.**

Steve remained looking at Natasha, he was amazed that she was serious.

**S: Natasha, anything you used on a mission, you never... pay attention to this... Never... you can use that on our children. Nor in the children of other people...**

**N: Oh God, Rogers, you're too boring.**

**S: Oh, I’m boring? I'm just trying to...**

Natasha covered Steve's mouth and then put her lips to his, Steve didn’t expect this kiss, and of course he didn’t rejected the kiss, the two kissed for minutes, until they remembered that the room was very quiet.

Steve looked at Sarah and she was finally sleeping. Steve looked back at Natasha, he gave her a quick kiss, and they both slept.

Not for long, since the twins woke up two hours later to nurse, then to change diapers, then they wanted to talk and that was the whole night.

At eight o'clock in the morning, the twins finally went to sleep. Natasha and Steve went back to the bedroom and lay down, they both yawned and breathed a sigh of relief, finally going to bed.

Natasha lay on her side, sighed, and closed her eyes. Steve lay with his belly up, almost falling out of bed, because Sarah was already spread completely across the bed.

Steve yawned once more and closed his eyes.

**Sarah: Hmmm...**

Sarah mumbled.

Natasha opened her eyes.

**N: No, no, no.**

Natasha started to repeat as Sarah increased the mumble. Natasha wanted to cry now, because she was exhausted.

Sarah began to grumble and then to cry.

**S: Why are you crying, Sarah?**

Sarah opened her eyes and when she saw Steve, she stopped crying.

**Sarah: I'm hungry.**

**S: You don’t have to cry about it... Come on, let’s take breakfast.**

Natasha sat up and then got up, Steve looked at her with raised eyebrows.

**S: Nat, I'll take care of it.**

**N: No, you've done enough. Come on, Sarah.**

Natasha grabbed the robe and got dressed, she ran her hand through her hair, straightened it into a ponytail, and walked over to Steve's side in the bed, she bent over and gave Steve a quick kiss, but she didn’t move her face away, she was still looking at him, she loves those sweet, stupid smiles he gives when he likes something she does.

**S: Are you sure?**

Natasha nodded, smiled, and rubbed the tip of her nose on Steve's, which caused him to kiss her lips again, but they were interrupted.

**Sarah: I'm hungry!!!!**

They both stopped, Natasha rolled her eyes and took one last kiss before leaving the bedroom with Sarah.

Natasha went down to the kitchen and went to prepare some cereal for Sarah. When Natasha returned to the dining room, Sarah was asleep in her chair, her head on the dinner table. Natasha wanted to throw the bowl on the wall, she heard footsteps and looked down the hall.

James opened his bedroom door and came out, yawning.

**J: Good morning, Mom.**

**N: Good morning. Hungry?**

James nodded.

**N: Good, eat this.**

Natasha put the bowl on the table, James sat down to eat.

Natasha heard footsteps too outside the house and frowned, she crept to the side of the door when she heard someone trying to open the door.

James filled his mouth with cereal and watched Natasha.

The door opened and Natasha almost attacked who was entering, but she was relieved to be just Laura.

**L: Hi, guys!!!**

Laura smiled.

**L: Good morning! I already heard the news! Lily is fine and here with us, so I am very happy today.**

**N: Thank God you're here, Laura. I would be very, very grateful if you stayed with James and Sarah and the twins for at least one or two hours, because Sarah and the twins didn’t let me and Steve sleep all night and we really need to sleep.**

**L: Oh, don’t worry, you won’t even notice we're here, right Jamie?**

James nodded. Natasha smiled and went upstairs to sleep.

Laura took care of James and Sarah to eat, shower and do their homework, and she still nursed the twins when they woke up wanting some attention.

Steve and Natasha had about three hours of sleep until they heard the sound of things falling on the first floor of the house. Steve sighed and Natasha moaned, grunting. They were both getting ready to get up, but it was not necessary, Laura shouted downstairs.

**_L: It was just a little accident, we're all okay, go back to sleep!!!_ **

They both breathed a sigh of relief, but they had awakened somewhat, Steve looked at Natasha beside him and lay on his side, cuddling with her body.

Steve placed his face on the back of Natasha's neck and breathed he skin to feel her scent.

Natasha put her hand over Steve's and placed it on her belly, but she was much sleepier than Steve, she didn’t even open her eyes, she only opened them, when Steve moved his nose all around her neck  and then to her cheeks, which caused Natasha to move her face slowly towards him to try to see Steve, but he quickly pressed his lips to hers and they both closed their eyes again.

Natasha brought her hand up to the back of Steve's neck and pulled his head toward her, causing him to explore her mouth even deeper.

Natasha can’t deny anymore, she loves Steve's kiss, she loves it more than any other kisses she had with other guys, because somehow he can convey what he is feeling at the moment on the kiss, if it is love, he kisses her slowly and the way he caress her tongue for minutes, cause chills on her body. And when Steve is horny, his breath and the despair with which he moves his tongue are much more accelerated, and when he is angry or jealous, he always holds more firmly on her hair or the back of her neck, and he barely lets her breathe wanting to show that she belongs to him.

In the old days she used to pretend that he could dominate her, but over time she realized that she wasn’t pretending, she actually couldn’t stop the kiss if she wanted to, so it's a fact that he can dominate her too, it's not just Natasha who is irresistible, but she doesn’t let him know about it.

Oh and then there is the apologetic kiss, which is not a very strong thing, but it's usually unheard of at any time and repeatedly, until Natasha gets bored and punches his face.

Okay, about that kiss ... We can say it started as a kiss of love, but they are alone and in bed, and their hot bodies leaning on each other and exchanging that heat, then... so... Obviously they went from a kiss of love to a kiss of sex, especially when Steve was already turning Natasha's body to face up and she didn’t even notice.

Steve's lips moved to Natasha's neck and back to her mouth, then back to her neck and mouth... he didn’t know what he wanted to kiss first, or rather what he wanted to kiss more. Steve laid on top of Natasha's body and he lifted her shirt to her breasts only and then he stopped.

It was not on purpose that he stopped, he stopped because somebody was knocking at the door and soon the door was open and someone came in.

Natasha and Steve stopped everything they were doing and stared at that person with a frown.

**\- Hey, guys!**


	64. Shapes of Love

Natasha frowned.

**N: Clint!**

**C: Hey guys!**

Clint smiled.

**C: What are you doing?**

**N: What the hell do you think we are doing?? Get out!!**

**C: Nar! I need to talk, you know? I need to... take this thing that it’s inside me and talke to someone.**

**N: You can talk with whoever you want.**

**C: That’s why I am in here...**

Clint simply walked into the bedroom and walked over to the bed, Steve frowned and then covered Natasha with a blanket.

**C: Relax, I've seen it all, Cap. I'm not impressed.**

**N: Shut up, Clint. Get out!**

**C: I can’t, I need to talk to someone.**

Clint lay on the bed beside them, Steve was still over Natasha's body.

**S: That's a little awkward, Clint.**

**C: I need some advice. You're my friend, correct?**

**N: No. How will I be your friend if you interrupt my moment with Steve??**

**C: Awn, so you two... you were like... aw, so sweet! You love each other, right? That is so cute!**

Clint lay on his side and stood smiling, looking at both of them.

**C: Go ahead and kiss so I can see.**

Natasha frowned.

**N: No!**

**C: Just a little kiss. Go... pretend I’m not here.**

Clint started to laugh. Natasha shoved Steve out of her and Steve had to stand up, and remaind out of bed.

**N: What do you want, Clint?**

**S: Why is your eye purple?**

Clint sighed and lay with his belly up.

**C: I'm in love.**

**N: Good for you! Now, move!**

**S: And good to Bobbi.**

**N: He's not talking about Bobbi.**

Steve frowned.

**S: How not?**

**N: Look, Clint, I love you but if you hurt Laura, I'm going to give you a spanking, she's not for you.**

**S: Laura ???**

Steve was shocked.

**C: Why? I really like her.**

**N: Yeah, right, you like her just like you used to really like Jess, Bobbi and several others?**

**C: That's not fair.**

**N: Clint, she's a good person. Please...**

**C: I know. I just can’t stand being without seeing her, I've come to visit your children countless times, even at school, just to see her. I don’t know why I feel so attracted, I think it's her smile. That smile! It doesn’t skip my mind.**

**N: Bullshit! I don’t believe you.**

**S: I don’t understand, Barton, you date Bobbi. And, please, get up, I'm not comfortable with you in bed with Natasha.**

**C: We're friends, Cap. Do not worry, I really only have eyes for Laura.**

**S: Even tho I still want you to get up.**

Clint got up and looked at Natasha.

**C: I didn’t know he was jealous.**

Natasha shrugged.

**C: I need to go, but you really don’t think I should...**

Natasha shook her head.

**C: Oh... you're probably right... I'm going to take some time away from here then... and I'm not going to chase after her any more.**

**N: It's the best thing to do.**

**S: And you have to respect Bobbi.**

**C: We're done.**

**N: Done? What? When?**

**C: Yesterday.**

**N: My God, Clint. How did she react?**

**C: Okay, I guess ... I think I'll be able to use my little Barton again in two weeks our three.**

**S: That purple on your face... was made by her?**

**C: Yes. But my face was nothing compared to my... I spent the whole night with ice between my legs.**

**N: You were dumb enough to say you were in love with another woman... You deserved it.**

**C: She always knew we were not going to last. Well, guys... I have to go now.**

Clint walked to the door and heard the twins crying.

**C: I think it's time for you to breastfeed your kids. Bye, Bye.**

Clint went downstairs and noticed that Laura was on the couch with Sarah, but staring at him. As he looked at her, she disguised, pretending to be showing something in the book to Sarah.

**C: I'm leaving.**

**L: Oh... already?**

Laura seemed disapointed.

**C: Yes.**

**L: Don’t you want a glass of water? Or eat something... Are you hungry?**

**C: Nah, thanks. Bye, children.**

Clint walked to the door.

**L: Clint?**

**C: Yes?**

**L: You barely talked to me today.**

Laura gave a half smile, she was disappointed because Clint Always wants to talk to her for hours when they have the oportunity, but today he came and wanted to go straight to talk to Steve and Natasha.

**L: Did something happen?**

**C: Nope.**

Laura noticed something different in Clint’s way of talking, she frowned.

**C: Bye.**

**L: Bye...**

Laura sighed and Clint left the house of Steve and Natasha.

Laura handed the book to Sarah and stood up.

**L: Keep drawing, I need to check the food.**

Laura walked toward the kitchen, but she heard the door of the house being abruptly opened, she stared at the door frightened and then saw Clint coming in in a hurry, he went straight for her and grabbed her waist, then he simply kissed her lips, leaving her surprised and unresponsive.

Sarah was drawing the book and stopped to see the scene, she opened her mouth in shock, looking at both of them.

Clint released Laura and hit his own forehead.

**C: I'm sorry, I’m sorry... I'm so sorry! I don’t know what happened to me. I should go...**

Laura was still amazed, she stood still and Clint ran out of the house, Sarah stood on the couch and looked at Clint dancing in the garden, through the window, Sarah smiled and looked at Laura.

**Sarah: You kissed on the lips!!!**

Sarah laughed and covered her mouth with her hands. Laura looked at her, smiling and then pretended to be serious.

**L: Oh God, you saw it? That was so wrong.**

**Sarah: Why?**

**L: Because Uncle Clint dates Bobbi.**

**Sarah: So what?**

**L: So you do not kiss other girls when you're dating, it's na awful thing to do.**

**Sarah: I thought we were suppose to kiss who we like.**

**L: Yes, but we can’t like more than one person at a time.**

**Sarah: Oh...**

...

Coming back to the day that Natasha left Hill on the sidewalk of Henry's house...

Henry was taking his daughter to ride a bike, when he saw Hill's car passing by, he thought she would be inside it, but he only saw Natasha, then he decided to look back and saw Hill, clearly lost, thinking about what to do.

Henry shook his head and helped Lily onto the bike and decided to concentrate on his daughter. Hill approached the two.

**H: Hi again!**

Hill said with na awkward smile, then she took a deep breath.

**H: Look, I'm sorry, I'm not stalking you, not really. It's just that my friend... she’s very stupid and she throw me out of the car and...**

**Henry: Your friend... you mean Sarah's mother...**

**H: Yes ...**

**Henry: The real one...**

Hill took a deep breath and became irritated.

**H: Are you going to throw that in my face all the time we see each other?**

**Henry: All the time, Maria? This is the first time I've seen you since I discovered your lie! You didn’t call me, you didn’t look for me...**

**H: I know!**

Hill was still irritated and responded harshly. It took her a few seconds to think about the real reason she was there and took a deep breath until she calmed down.

**H: I couldn’t call you, I, uh...**

Hill looked up, shook her head, as if she was in conflict with herself about what to say or not. She does not want to sound stupid, and to assume the truth, in her head is to sound just like that.

**H: I've been... busy.**

Henry for a moment even felt hope that Hill would apologize to him and acknowledge that she had did a bad thing by lying to him and redeemed herself, but she just changed the subject. Henry was disappointed. Maybe he's not that important for her.

Hill could notice his disappointment, she wanted very much to do something about it, but she can’t help, she was trained to be a cold person.

**H: Can I... Can I use your phone?**

Henry frowned, not believing that Hill wants something from him after acting like that with him. For being polite, Henry lent his cell phone to Hill. Hill picked up his cell phone and couldn’t type a number.

**Henry: You don’t know the number you are going to call?**

Hill knew the number, but  it would not be a bad idea to take a ride with Henry.

**H: No, I forgot. And I need to go to work. Dammit!!!**

**Henry: I can call a cab for you...**

**H: I'm out of money here...Natasha took my wallet, it was in my car.**

Henry shrugged his shoulders.

**Henry: Oh, I see... maybe I can leave you there, if you don’t...**

**H: Really?**

Hill interrupted Henry.

**Henry: Yeah. No problem.**

**H: Thank you very much, Henry.**

Hill gave a small smile. Henry walked with Lily and Hill to the garage of his house, they got in the car and Henry drove to where Hill guided him. Upon reaching the base of SHIELD, the silence inside the car was deafening.

Henry didn’t want to arrive at the destination point so fast, but he can’t also admit that he misses Hill, just like Hill didn’t want to leave his company and didn’t want to say that misses him like crazy.

**H: Thank you...**

Hill looked at Henry who looked at her.

**H: For the ride...**

Hill smiled then looked away, she took some time to open the car door and place a foot out of the car but she didn’t leave, she sighed and looked at Henry again.

**H: Henry...**

Henry looked at Hill, he knew that now she was ready to say what she feels and apologize, her eyes say so. Hill couldnt say everything he wanted, only issued ....

**H: Thanks for everything. Goodbye! Goodbye Lily!**

**Lily: Bye!**

Hill got out of the car and just ran to inside the building withou looking back, then she boarded the elevator and closed her eyes tight, mentally punishing herself for not telling him what she wanted.

Henry bowed his head and left after a few seconds, watching Hill run away.

...

Coming back to nowadays... Steve and Natasha went to look after the twins shortly after Clint Barton's visit, Steve left Natasha nursing the twins and went downstairs to check on the children.

**S: Laura, where's James?**

**L: He said he's grounded, he's in his bedroom.**

**S: He really is.**

**Sarah: Daddy, let's play?**

**S: Yes, let me just check on James.**

Steve knocked on the door of James's room and walked in, he was leaning over the window sill, watching the children playing in the street. Steve approached James, then sat on James's bed.

**S: James.**

James looked at his father.

**S: Do you know why you got grounded again?**

**J: Yes...**

**S: I want you to say the reason...**

**J: Because I scared Sarah.**

James looked out the window again.

**S: If you promise to not do it again, I will get you out of your punishment.**

**J: Whatever.**

Steve frowned, surprised at James' behaviour.

**S: Don’t you want to leave the room?**

**J: I can’t play outside anyway, so whatever...**

**S: Who said that?**

**J: You won’t allow me to play outside never again because of that day that Sarah almost got hit.**

**S: Without supervision you can’t really stay outside, but I'm here to supervise this time.**

**J: You?**

Steve nodded.

**J: So, I can play outside with my friends?**

**S: Yes... If you promise to not scare your sister anymore.**

**J: I promise!**

**S: Okay, then.**

James ran to the door and ran out the door to the living room. Sarah got up, ready to go after him.

**S: Sarah, wait!**

Sarah stopped at the door and Steve approached her.

**S: Look... we're going to stay out there a little bit, but you have to remember...**

**Sarah: Not run for the street!**

**S: Yes, but you forget.**

**Sarah: But I stopped!**

**S: Alright, I'll be there this time. Let's go.**

Steve left with Sarah and soon the neighbors of her age came to call her to play th dolls. Steve stayed with them until late afternoon, he walked in with the children back in the house and Laura put them to take a shower and then put them on the bed. Laura asked if Steve would need anything else.

**S: No, Laura. You've done enough, you can go now, Thanks.**

**L: Good night, see you tomorrow.**

**S: Good night.**

Laura withdrew and Natasha shouted Steve from upstairs.

**N: Rogers!**

Steve ran up the stairs and looked at Natasha in the hallway holding Nicholas in her lap.

**S: How are they?**

**N: Lindsay is fine and sleeping, but Nick is agitated, he does not want to sleep. I need to take a shower. Stay with him a little bit, please.**

**S: Yeah, of course.**

Natasha walked over to Steve and handed Nick to his lap. The doorbell rang, Natasha rolled her eyes.

**N: I need at least half an hour of a shower.**

**S: All right, everything is under control. Don’t worry.**

Natasha turned to go to the bedroom when Steve called her.

**S: Natasha?**

Natasha put her hand on the door handle and looked at Steve over her shoulder.

**S: You didn’t kiss me.**

**N: What??**

**S: I spent the whole afternoon downstairs and you didn’t kiss me.**

**N: Oh my God, Steve, really? I kiss you all the time!**

**S: That's not enough.**

Natasha rolled her eyes but Steve was already with that sweet puppy eyes that she loves so much, he walked towards her, then stretched his face toward Natasha, who kissed his lips gently.

**S: Right... now you can go.**

**N: Thanks, Rogers, I appreciate you let me take a shower...**

Natasha smirked and walked in the bedroom.

Steve smiled alone and went down the stairs with Nick, he opened the door after checking who it was.

**Sam: My friend!**

**S: Sam Wilson. Come in.**

**Sam: I came to know how Lindsay is doing...**

**S: She's fine.**

Sam came in and looked around the house.

**Sam: Where are my buddies?**

**S: They should be asleep by now.**

**Sam: What do you mean? Its too early!**

**S: Laura does these miracles.**

**Sam: And why is this guy awake?**

**S: I don’t know, he's busier than Lindsay.**

Sam took Nick in his lap and made a few faces at him, which made Nick almost smile.

**Sam: I have also come to talk to you about the Avengers.**

**S: Oh, I don’t want to know, Sam, I don’t want to get more involved with this anymore.**

**Sam: I know, I know. Bucky will take your place as Captain America, but I've been wondering if I should leave too.**

**S: Sam, don’t do it because of me.**

**Sam: I just don’t think you're going to retire totally, you're young, I mean... You're apparently young, you're moody.**

**S: I have many children to care for...**

**Sam: I know, I know... But you tell me you will not interfere when you see someone being robbed? Or, I don’t know, any problem that needs your help...**

**S: Okay, Sam, I get it. What do you have in mind?**

**Sam: I think we could set up a task force. You, me, Natasha, Sharon... Whoever else wants to join in.**

**S: I don’t know. Natasha... She likes what she does, she won’t accept, I guess...**

**Sam: Just think about it.**

**S: I will.**

Nicholas started to cry and Steve took him back in his lap, he patted him lightly to calm him down, but it was in vain, Nick persisted in crying.

**Sam: What does he want?**

**S: I don’t know.**

**Sam: Nurse?**

**S: Nah, Natasha pretty much finished nursing him up there.**

**Sam: I know! I already know. Give him to me here.**

Sam picked Nicholas up and started dancing with him, singing a rap song. Nicholas stopped crying for a moment, but then cried again.

**Sam: You don’t like dancing? But you want to see me dance, I know, I know.**

Sam put Nick back into Steve’s lap then he started to dance and Nick watched and gradually stopped crying and then smiled.

**Sam: Ahhh see!!! That’s my boy!**

**S: I will not dance every time he cries.**

**Sam: That's because your dad does not know how to dance!**

Nick smiled again.

**Sam: He agrees!**

**S: Nick, don’t smile at that. Help your father.**

**Sam: No...**

Sam squeezed Nick's little face to pretend he was talking.

**Sam: Uncle Sam is the best uncle in the world. Who do you want as your godfather? Say it... uncle Saaaamm.**

Steve laughed at Sam, then stared at Nick.

**S: Don’t you dare say Sam before saying dad, Nick. Can you say dad? Daddy? .**

**Sam: No, say Uncle Sam!**

Natasha went downstairs, and made no noise on purpose, she looked at Sam and Steve trying to make Nick speak, but he is too Young to speak.

**N: What are you doing with my son?**

Natasha raised one eyebrow

**S: N-n-nothing... It was Sam, what are you doing, man?**

**Sam: I'm praying for the kid!**

Sam coughed and both he and Steve looked serious. Natasha sighed and went downstairs once, she shook her head.

**N: I hate it when you two are together.**

Natasha walked over to Nick and picked him up.

**N: These boys are disturbing you, my love? They are very very naughty, I know, I know., it’s okay, mommy is here.**

**Sam: Hey!!! That’s offensive.**

Steve nudged Sam. Sam looked at Steve with raised eyebrows. Steve whispered.

**S: Did you bring what I asked for?**

Sam stared at Steve with confusion, then Steve pointed to his finger, indicating that he was referring to the ring. Sam understood.

**Sam: Oh yeah, yeah! It's in my pocket.**

**N: What?**

**Sam: Nothing...**

Steve looked at Natasha and she was kissing Nick's face and went into the hallway of James and Sarah's bedrooms.

Steve managed to get the little box with the ring that Sam bought in his place. Steve hid the box in his pocket.

While on the way to the kids room, Natasha noticed Steve and Sam whispering and she stopped for a second, then she looked up over her shoulder and watched Steve putting the box in his pocket, but she pretended to not have seen it.

Natasha entered James's room and he was already sleeping, but not on his bed.

**N: Steve?**

Steve came over and saw James, he came in and put James on the bed. Natasha left and went to Sarah's room, she was lying on the bed and talking to herself.

**N: Sarah?**

**Sarah: Hi Mommy...**

**N: Hey, honey... what are you doing?**

**Sarah: Nothing, just playing.**

**N: Alone?**

**Sarah: Yeah.**

Steve reached the room and stopped behind Natasha.

**S: Aren’t you sleepy?**

Sarah: No.

**S: Are you hungry?**

Sarah shook her head.

**S: Don’t you want to come to the living room with us, then?**

Sarah shook her head.

**S: Uncle Sam is here.**

Sarah just lay on her side, turning her back to her parentes, ignoring them. Steve frowned because Sarah Always wants to talk to Sam.

**S: Sarah?**

Sarah started to talk alone again. Steve approached and crouched by the bed.

**S: What is it, baby? Are you feeling something wrong? Are you okay?**

Steve laid a hand on Sarah's forehead, but she didn’t have a fever.

**S: Something's wrong.**

Natasha was watching in silence.

**N: Do you want to be alone, Sarah?**

Sarah just nodded, not looking at her parentes yet.

Natasha laid her hand on Steve's shoulder and nodded toward the door. Steve kissed Sarah's forehead and left the room with Natasha, closing the door.

**S: She's acting strange.**

**N: I think she wants to spend some time alone with herself.**

**S: Why?**

**N: I don’t know, but I understand. I feel the same as her sometimes.**

**S: She never acted like that.**

**N: She is growing and changing. Tomorrow she will be better.**

**S: I don’t know, she's was too quiet.**

Natasha noticed how much Steve was worried, she stroked his face and Steve brought his face close to hers and gave Natasha a long kiss. The two returned in the living room and Steve walked faster, standing in front of Natasha.

**S: Natasha, before you go up, I need...**

Steve was interrupted by the sound of Sam's cell phone.

**Sam: I'm sorry, Steve.**

Steve nodded, then looked back at Natasha, he took a deep breath.

**S: I need...**

**Sam: Sharon? Yeah, yeah, I'm going, I'll just wait for Steve to ask Natasha...**

Sam didn’t finish the sentence, Steve was glaring at him with reprovation. Sam indicated that he was going to finish the call outside the house, he left and stayed on the porch. Steve sighed and looked at Natasha.

**S: So...**

This time it was Lindsay who woke up and the electronic babysitter transmitted her crying in the living room, Natasha looked at Nick who was almost asleep.

**N: At least he's almost asleep already. Let's see your sister, Nicholas.**

Natasha walked to the stairs.

**S: Nat??**

Natasha looked at Steve.

**N: I'll need your help up there.**

**S: Yes, it's just because I have to ask you something that...**

**N: What?**

Sam came back in.

**Sam: Steve, have you asked already?**

**S: No!**

**N: Ask me for what?**

**Sam: Sorry again.**

Sam returned to speak on the phone at the porch.

**_Sam: No, he still has not asked, Sharon._ **

**N: Will you help me or not, Mr. Rogers?**

**S: Yes.**

Natasha started up the stairs, Sam came in again and told Steve that he had to leave, he said goodbye and left.

Steve went after Natasha in the twins bedroom, he was nervous as if he had not done it before and as if she had not already said yes.

**N: Steve! Don’t stand there. Nick just made the number two.**

Steve grabbed Nick and went to the changer, laid him down and as he opened his diaper and cleaned him, he tried to look at Natasha, Steve was sweating cold.

**S: Nat, what I was trying to say down there...**

**N: Oh, yes, what is it?**

**S: On the day of the hospital I called you and...**

**N: Lily, don’t... don’t cry, baby. Are you hungry?**

Steve could not be direct and Natasha does not have the patience to wait, then she sat in the rocking chair with Lindsay and began to breastfeed her. Steve did not say anything else, because Natasha was just looking at Lindsay and he did not want to interrupt their moment, he changed Nick and put him to sleep again.

**N: Steve...**

Steve stared at Natasha.

**N: You can take the chance that he is sleeping and Lindsay is nursing now and take a shower.**

**S: Yes. That’s, uh...that's a good idea.**

Steve left the room and went over to his and went into the bathroom. Steve hit forehead for not being able to make the request as he wanted, and during the shower he began to wonder if he should even ask Natasha to marry him again or not.

Steve knows how Natasha is, and what if she gets annoyed because he's asking for a third time? Probably she will say no. Maybe she finds it very romantic and romantic is the same as stupid for her. Steve thought and spent more than half an hour bathing in the tub.

When Steve finally finished his bath, he dried himself and wrapped a towel around his waist. Steve went to the bedroom and Natasha was already lying on the bed, looking at him with a small smile on her face.

**S: Lily?**

**N: Slept, thank God.**

**S: Nick?**

**N: Same.**

Steve was paralyzed and sighed.

**N: Are you coming to bed?**

**S: Y-Yes, I'm just going to get dressed and...**

Natasha knelt on the bed and crawled to the edge.

**N: I don’t think you should.**

**S: What?**

**N: Get dress...**

Natasha removed her sweater, she was just with her panties and bra now, Steve looked down at Natasha's breasts automatically and then at her belly and her panties.

**S: Natasha, I need to talk to you, I...**

**N: No...**

Natasha got out of bed and walked over to Steve. Natasha leaned her body on his and lifted her head so she could look into his eyes, Natasha hugged Steve's waist.

**N: Whatever you have to say, say it tomorrow.**

**S: But...**

**N: Hush!**

Natasha leaned her finger on Steve’s lips.

**N: Tomorrow...**

Natasha put her hands on Steve's towel and released it, then she kissed him passionately and they made love all night.

...

The next morning, Steve woke up and when he opened his eyes, he faced Natasha staring at him and smiling. Wow! How Steve missed seeing love in Natasha's eyes in that way.

Natasha gave Steve a kiss and he smiled during the kiss. Natasha pulled her body closer to his and laid her head on Steve's chest.

**S: Good morning...**

Steve stroked Natasha's hair, she lifted her head and left her chin resting on Steve's chest, she looked at him and gave a small smile. That was her way of saying good morning.

**N: I'm waiting...**

**S: For what?**

**N: You.**

Steve was confused.

**N: For you to give me that wedding ring.**

Steve raised his eyebrows, very surprised that she already knew about it.

**S: So, did you know all this time?**

**N: Of course.**

**S: It has no fun anymore now...**

**N: Yes, it has.**

**S: I’ll just give it to you anyway.**

**N: No...**

Natasha frowned.

**N: I want you to ask me properly.**

**S: You want it?**

**N: No, I don’t, but you do, and I will not let anything get in the way this time.**

Steve stared her.

**N: I promise.**

Steve stood looking at her, then he reached for the drawer beside the bed and picked up the box. Natasha stepped off Steve's body and sat on the bed. Steve sat up and opened the box, extending the ring to Natasha.

**S: Natasha...**

**N: Wait, won’t you get down on your knees?**

Natasha pretended to be ofended.

**S: Huh? I thought that...**

**N: Full service, Mr. Rogers, please.**

Steve knew she was mocking him, but still he got up from the bed and knelt on the rug, staring at Natasha.

Natasha smiled.

**S: Natasha... do you want to marry me?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will she say yes?


End file.
